I'm Emotional And Dramatic

Do you get emotional and dramatic in relationships? Well in this video we are going to talk about what makes us act like that and how it affects our relationships.
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[@Applie1221]

Emotional and dramatic.. that's me😑😭 I feel disconnected real quick and reconnected real quick also. So when i feel disconnected i wanna get out of relationship, at the same time i feel lots of separation anxiety. I am suffering by that and I get jealous easily too. It's terrible feelings

[@WastedPiety]

I litterally watch all your videos, even the ones where I think "I don't need this". You can never learn too much, you two are amazing :)

[@mura0]

same here. I just feel like they are my friends.

[@Lahb9]

Craig i tried your no contact method for just two days and it worked🤦🏽‍♂️ my ex contacted me a couple of times and said she missed me and wanted me back I couldnt believe it because before when i was begging for her to stay she kept playing with my emotions but now she wants to restart a relationship with me🤦🏽‍♂️

[@jauntydopamine4752]

Craig--there is something you said in another video--something along the lines of "...the degree of the intensity of the anxiety felt mirrors the unmet needs of the child..." Has been me--anxiety through the roof after the split. I felt like I was dying. I was angry and lashed out. Initially I pleaded, then I got so angry, and I lashed out. I am in NC and have been for 3 months now, and it will probably be indefinite, but that is OK, because I was not in a position to be in a relationship where I was emotionally available either. I think that is the big thing, anxious types are not emotionally available either--they think they are (and that is something I did not realize until now). I am anxious (in recovery) and the one I fell for is classic avoidant. My therapist said that I have trauma wounds and we are working on healing those now and reprocessing my entire youth. The last 3 months have been the hardest work I have done in my life. Sometimes it is so bad after a therapy session, I cannot see driving home. I have to use my GPS to drive on roads I am so familiar with because I cannot see straight. I will sometimes get massive migraines after my therapy sessions. Sometimes I go home and sleep for two hours, I am just exhausted, but it is getting easier on me. Lots of crying for me, and lots of journaling and reprocessing all of the terrible memories from my childhood. Lots of learning to emotionally regulate and self sooth. But you got me there. Finding your videos right after the split got me on my path I am on now to healing and finding myself, someone I have never known actually. I would not have stepped into therapy with a therapist who is well versed in attachment theory and trauma wounds. Thank you! (PS--I am going to schedule a Skype session with you in the near future--not so much for anything other than to get you on video and thank you "in person").

[@craigmerrila7767]

I've learned with myself, that hearing anything about my ex can send me into meltdown. So I allow myself to feel it, but I do it privately. The next day I feel 50% less anxiety. So I've learned not to lash out, knowing the initial shock will pass after 12 hours. Gold your breath and say nothing people.

[@craigmerrila7767]

Hold* your breath sorry.

[@samanthaelle216]

Would you guys consider please making a video about what to do if you're just on a 'break' with your partner, not broken up? My guy came over saying his feelings have changed and that it's not fair for me to wait around and be treated poorly whilst he figures things out (true). I suggested a break rather than breaking up, which he agreed with. Now we've been NC for 4 days and I don't really know if he is going to realise he still wants the relationship after a little while, or if he is going to end up just breaking up with me as originally intended :/ Watching your videos have already helped me so much, so thank you!

[@gemmajanebrookes5395]

Samantha Elle You need to be a priority not an option. What incentive does he have to hurry back if he knows you are there waiting for him whilst he is doing nothing to bring you comfort and keeping his options open?

[@samanthaelle216]

@@gemmajanebrookes5395 So true, thank you! I've just been trying to keep myself busy and begin the 'moving on' process as a way of protecting myself, even though I still have hope he will come back! A big part of me wants to message him and fight for him, since we are technically still in a relationship, but I am really trying to refrain as I feel like since he initiated the break, he has to be the one to come back. Thanks for the encouragement!

[@moradiplays1578]

Craig please help. My ex reached out after 3 days of no contact. She talked about everything as if I was still her support and friend. I pretended I thought it was ok to talk to her, but it didn't feel good. Anyway, I managed to get through the conversation pretty well. We laughed and there was not much negative in the conversation. I finally had to say that I had to hang up because there was so much to do at work. She said it was so nice to talk to me again. She even started planning things I could help her with in the future. I fear that she views me as the one who always helps. Something I do ... and that her respect for me is really low. How to gain respect now? How often can I pick up the phone when she calls. How to reply on sms without pushing her away etc. I will absolutely not just be her friend. When she broke up with me, she said I was emotional, dramatic and stubborn. She also told me today there was things about me she couldn`t tell me. Something about me she did not like. She would not tell because she did not want to hurt me.

[@Ciskuss]

I have a question: what sign is when in no contact she text you to know when you are free to take stuff at your home? Like clothes or something like this.

[@francahill7321]

Hi everyone. My ex rejected me a couple months ago and has been in a relationship ever since. She never ruled out being together again or told me to move on, and said if she was single she would be with me right now. She wanted to remain best friends, I told her no as it was too painful. I took Craig’s advice and went NC 2 weeks ago, telling her if she changes her mind about giving us another go we can talk, otherwise I’m gone. But, does your ex still feel that separation anxiety with this approach? They know if they message you you will get back with them, so I’m not sure if she will feel it.

[@coreymichael2998]

My ex sent me an angry text message after I stuck to no contact for months, creating unnecessary drama. I tried to respond maturely and have her open up to dialogue with me but she did not respond. I’m sure she is hurt because she still has feelings for me, but I don’t know what to do now. Should I allow time to run its course or should I reach out

[@hannalarsson225]

Thanks for all the videos! Its very interestingt to watch. I have a question. If you had a major trauma during childhood. If you see that you actually are drawn too, or "fall for" the same negative traits as your parents had. How do you stop and change? I mean, one step is to, recognice it, but how do you work on yourself after, because the feelings and the "cruch" isnt something you can decide to have or not right... It just is... So how do you take away the "love" feelings. From a situation (for the future) where its not healty. For example if your parents ignored you when you were a kid, and then as an adult you fall in love with ppl who do the same action... How do you change so you dont actually feel love feelings for thouse persons but maybe for a person who is nice and want to be with you? How do you work to change the feelings for the future? Another example, if your parents were avoidant and was changeing all the time, pushed you away but as soon as you was about to "let go" of the hope of stuff they pulled you back, just to puch you away again... Same circle there... How do you do to not FEEL the love feelings for partners in the future that are doing the same, but instead fall for someone who maybe are segure of them selfes and not has that kind of puch/pull life towards you?

[@juicebox0118]

Hey Craig, idk if you will see this or not but I have a question you might be able to feature in one of your videos. You always say that talking helps you through the process of healing, what if you struggle with talking about things? I have always had trouble expressing anything verbally and no that I'm going through heart ache it's even worse. Any advice on how to talk about what we're internalizing would be much appreciated!

[@jamesd235]

Hey coach just a question I can't really afford email or Skype coaching. But does no contact still apply if you did the breaking up? And after a few months they are resentful and angry because when they tried you pushed away, and you took so long?

[@yimjanger1029]

I asked my ex if he miss me.. He just Mmnn..! And he also said that am being witty,he love it.

[@hourounmaqsourat]

Craig please my husband accused me of talking with another man wich isn't true i wanted to talk with him to prove him wrong but he refused my father and friends talked with him but he completely refused to hear us . and he broke up with me i immediately went no contact what should i do is it the right move or no .

[@myswiftswift5577]

Stay no contact .watch the videos

[@scar0134]

What if your hours for Skype conflict with my work hours?

[@ilona1663]

Interesting one

[@calebmasseo3996]

So a bit of a funny story my ex called me today and asked to borrow mo eh for birth control and I lost all emotional control and more or less said I’m not giving her money so she can fool around with her new bf so moral of the story is try and keep a level head and think out what your going to say carefully

[@neiljones47]

Another great video both! 🙂 Could you please do a video on the fear of being replaced by ex's new boyfriend. I'm currently struggling with this fact, my wife and I split up 5 months ago but she's been with her new guy for 4 of those months. He has within the last 2 weeks started seeing my 2 children more and more with my ex. Basically he's seeing my kids more than me and in my own home that I had to move out of (she dumped me by the way after 17 years together!) + it's killing me.