I’m Stuck. How Do I stop focusing on him and instead focus on my own growth?

[@HT-ut6oh]

This amazing woman has changed the way I see my husband addictions now. I’m have been married for 30 years and he doesn’t want to get help , I have been trying to fix him , to get help but I’m tired of doing that . Now I’m going to focusing on myself and get healthy . Thank you very much!

[@michellejansma165]

I have found it difficult to stay healthy and have boundaries in my marriage. It's a difficult marriage, but he is not intentionally bad. I believe his mental health is a factor in his poor behavior. He will not seek help for his struggles, but I am no longer able to carry the weight of the relationship alone. I do believe I deserve more, for all that I have poured into this relationship. I am interested to see what else people will comment because I know I am not alone. Why SHOULD I accept this disappointing situation?

[@brightpage1020]

"If only he would change... I wouldn't have to take responsibility for my contribution to the negativity in our relationship by acknowledging and respective that he's not ready to change right now, and it's time for me to respond appropriately." Love the analogy of health issues - what if we had breast cancer? What if he didn't want us to go to the Dr. or didn't like the doctor's treatment plan? Or said it was too expensive!?!? Girl, you know. You know how it is. Thank you for acknowledging and reaching in like this for folks having trouble reaching out.

[@amandasturgeon90]

Thank you Leslie! Definitely need to stop the limiting beliefs and to stop isolating.

[@brightpage1020]

The most powerful and effective advice I ever got for this sort of thing was a parenting tip from a toddler momma support group: When your 2 y/o bites you, say, "Ouch! That hurt me!" Then put them in the crib or pack and Play and leave the room for a couple minutes. It took about 3 bites until my daughter pit the pattern together and stopped biting. I just had to be honest, protective of each of us, and consistent within our relationship.

[@goldenrulebanner2896]

Such wonderful teaching! Thank you!

[@KarenSawyer-jw5pd]

I want your strength and wise mind with quick solid thoughts

[@andreawhite4904]

Awesome teaching. Thanks for sharing your wisdom 🙏 🙌

[@katherinesantana1097]

Hello Leslie, my husband is a narcissist, we have been married for 10 years and a 7-year-old daughter, he, since the 1st of our marriage, he has psychologically mistreated me and I would like to separate but I don't have a job, and I have no one to take care of me daughter. I am praying to God to reveal his purposes and what are the talents that he has given me to be able to create my digital business but I really live depressed, anxious because I do not feel that I have any value, I cannot see GOD's answers for my life , and I don't know how HE answers me. I feel very afraid, and I see that this situation also affects my daughter.😥

[@MariaSantana-ul5wd]

Buy yourself a beautiful Bible and read it from beginning to end. God will reveal Himself there. Philippians 4:6-7

[@brightpage1020]

So helpful. Thank you!

[@RochelleJohnson-w2o]

201am I feel guilty for not showing him Jesus. For real😢

[@alexandragabaldon4561]

I love your channel a lot stuff stood out to me.What is a toxic relationship?

[@MariaSantana-ul5wd]

A toxic relationship is one when both are unhealthy. An unhealthy relationship is where one is healthy and the other is unhealthy.

[@laurielorenz-glantz1034]

Can someone tell me which one of Leslie's books she's referring to that has suggested steps in it for separating? Thank you so much

[@leslievernick]

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage book.

[@misstopis2012]

Not sure if even want him to change. Really feel like I am setting myself for disappointment.

[@brightpage1020]

This seems like a powerful place to start.

[@user-jz6mu]

I get you

[@brightpage1020]

Ok, so what would you like to set yourself up for instead? Success? What does that look like to you? What are you gaining by putting the responsibility for change on him? You can reposition yourself with support and enforceable boundaries. That would be a change in you. That could be powerful as well.

[@amykyns15]

You mentioned Ravi Zacharias at the tail end of video. Approx 54:00 mark. Anyways, you mentioned his name in the same context of a pastor who was abusive and covert. Am I hearing that Ravi falls under that umbrella or?… Just wondering cuz my church mentioned him when he passed and was given accolades. I know I can research it however, wondering if you have some info that I may not have access to. (Comment is off topic 🫣) I appreciated this video very much. I’m a new listener and can’t get enough.❣️

[@iw9338]

He was having several affairs

[@amykyns15]

@@iw9338 thank you

[@ValerieJungck]

@@amykyns15It was worse than that. You can find the report on the investigation done by his ministry to uncover the truth after he died.

[@alexandragabaldon4561]

Can you do video on toxic relationship?