I Made A Game That's Impossible To Beat

Use this link to buy the best energy drink: gamersupps.gg/...
Guests:
‪@lewissmle‬
‪@SaltyPhish‬
‪@Twobold‬
for anyone wondering I am aware that ‪@Valefisk‬ released a very similar video to this (it was very good). I've had this video idea since before that but choose to wait after he released his video.
the art for rat wizard and cannon dwarf was done by a friend (this is how he asked to be credited)

[@SomeKindaHero117]

Twobold: Wizard who keeps blasting himself into last week and getting tp'd to spawn by the Mystic Forest of Goblins who turn into Hydras. Phish: The Rogue who happened to be in the right place at the right time to snag a fancy future gun, then fought countless Hydras for many days and nights Lewie: That one Barbarian who is literally feeding the stage 2 boss all the xp they need to make the BBEG pale in comparison I'm glad I found this channel 🤣

[@FuntimeOriginalFoxy]

😂 true

[@vorbex221]

the best part is that they have infinite gauntlets of hydras

[@Duck-account]

I love how grinding the cannon dwarf gave twobold the theoretical best deck (based on the game that the ai created) and he still managed to lose constantly

[@silver_wind40]

cannon dwarf is the real winener

[@Deceptivee-_-4131]

Also twobold: i keep losing my stuff everytime I spin the roullette 😂

[@Twobold]

OH SISYPHUS CAN YOU HEAR ME??! I KNOW YOUR PAIN AND I KNOW YOUR AGONY!!!! I HATE THIS GOBLIN FOREST I HATE IIIIIITTTTTT

[@eidanhguiron489]

Looollllll I was laughing my ass off when you got surrounded by hydra's in the goblin forest 😂😂😂❤

[@andreasioannides5780]

Gotta give it to you man you made me laugh fuck tons today, thank you 🙏🙏

[@dazombisgama3849]

YOU GOT THROUGH IT YOU ARE NOW BETTER THEN ZEUS SINCE YOU JUST COMPLETED THE INCOMPLETABLE TASK

[@ivykwek1020]

I don't see a phish complaining about all the hydras he fought

[@Lord_Hengar]

MVP your dog for bringing you toys.

[@ILIAL_General]

The 4 horseman of making you insane : +2 to all abilities : summon another Hydra : add a goop to your deck : return to start

[@UsernotFound2018]

You forgot about Canno Dwarf

[@ZeroFormLak]

Honorary mention -Destroy one card/Duplicate one card

[@gktah]

I think Lewis's luck should replace return to start

[@josephjoestar953]

@@ZeroFormLak duplicate one card is the only reason they won though, without it there'd only be one staff and one cannon.

[@ZeroFormLak]

@@josephjoestar953 it aslo became an addiction worse than shadow wheel

[@madsvigan2898]

I like to imagine at the end, the dragon sees a fish covered in slime. A wizard with his hair sticking up, from all the lightning, and each hand holding 4 staffs. And a tired angry drawf, covered in gunpowder, pulling an entire platoon of artillery to fight it.

[@queru1ous]

I want somebody to draw this 💯

[@katya4076]

@@queru1ousbet

[@Aya-fn8rj]

@@queru1oussame

[@MalumTheGamerMan]

Third made me laugh more than the video. PS: my parents are now concerned about my mental health

[@arodie7663]

drawf?

[@borosdavidattila]

Noah at the beginning: "this is not a team game" Noah 2+ hours in: "We are gonna win this"

[@canadian4421]

Noah went from being the narrator to being the 4th player, and I'm all here for it

[@bash3226]

He learnt the value of friendship :) I love character development

[@TheShadowLess-Moon]

@@bash3226 no, he learnt not to put a canon dwarf in any of his games ever

[@gabrielbarron7667]

​@@TheShadowLess-Moonto put it in *every* game in the future you mean

[@satgurs]

@@TheShadowLess-Mooncannon dwarf is gonna be a reoccuring character, though he'll probably be nerfed

[@Nikke-nn5mn]

The cannon dwarf found an amazing XP grind spot

[@parasiticjaeger5170]

The players probably saw that the 'duplicate card' and 'card upgrade' had a 2/3 chance of occurring and tried grinding it early on, without realising the dwarf was secretly grinding all of them

[@zoompipes_twin2889]

@@parasiticjaeger5170well, Lewie *had* a win condition in the black hole… until PHISH STOLE IT

[@parasiticjaeger5170]

@@zoompipes_twin2889 Was it even possible? They needed to beat the cannon dward twice but he only had 1 black hole..

[@Kilithian]

@@parasiticjaeger5170I thought he still had 2 uses on that black hole, but honestly, after this torture i can't remember.

[@zoompipes_twin2889]

@@parasiticjaeger5170 cannon dwarf could dupe it

[@jcmatanui204]

The first two-thirds of this is among the funniest content I've seen from you. The last third is like a lucid nightmare, where every second I have to acknowledge that I'm voluntarily subjecting myself to this hell and despite that I continue to suffer when leaving is completely within my control at literally any moment. 5/5.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@Ryvaken]

I'm only halfway through it and I think the nightmare's been going for at least half the video so far, so this comment fills me with glee and the need to find a whip.

[@ofbleedingink6473]

Rule Nr 1 of MagicTheNoah Content: there is always a shadow realm. If there isn't a shadow realm, yes there is.

[@-Core-]

It's like an abusive relationship

[@lememz]

everything after the 10 minute cut felt like a benadryl trip

[@lanphrost]

This is unironically my favorite gameshow video of all time, nothing else from any creator has even come close. The actual, sheer desperation in -everyone's- voices really adds that special something.

[@queru1ous]

Absolutely. I’m rewatching this for the third time already because nothing has ever brought me so many emotions. Noah usually doesn’t even laugh, but here he fully descends into madness. 11/10

[@ChairEnjoyer1]

20:18 - start of first canon dwarf fight 1:25:40 - canon dwarf dies This video would’ve been about an hour shorter if somebody hadn’t fought him over and over again and powered him up 10/10

[@ryanharrington5066]

Thank you for the timestamps lmao

[@onebear6504]

it would have been a whole lot shorter if somebody didn't use the black hole for a hydra

[@gktah]

Did I just watched 3 people fighting a dwarf for 1 hour 5 minutes and 22 seconds?

[@ohoangthien8090]

Skill issues. That the reasons.

[@beanz3623]

@@gktahphish noped out half way

[@colterbrown3679]

A good MagicTheNoah game inspires insanity in its players. A GREAT MagicTheNoah game inspires insanity in Noah himself.

[@memerman4366]

fr... the canon dwarf fight lasted an hour and five minutes

[@TheBestPybro]

I've never seen Noah go insane before. It was honestly terrifying.

[@gabrielwag]

@@memerman4366 That's in the final cut, it was probably twice as long in the actual game...

[@jarrodtang8499]

Bruh I was going insane

[@MiniManDev]

yoooo 666 likes

[@parasiticjaeger5170]

The virgin doubling cannon vs The chad +2 cannon

[@hs7178]

i cannot tell if this is the funniest comment here or if i am just lightheaed after qatching the whole vid

[@christianmiddelaarvan2377]

​@hs7178 if you are writing a q instead of a w I think you are lightheaded

[@coffee1139]

@christianmiddelaarvan2377 I mean, jonestly after that show it could be either 🤣

[@damonfleming38]

@@coffee1139you are for sure light headed you put j instead of h

[@coffee1139]

@@damonfleming38 uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no xomment 🤣🤣

[@TheYesMan856]

51:42 "this is worse than death, it's infinity" would actually be such a banger quote if taken out of context. with context..it sure is a quote.

[@arsenicarrow6333]

JoJo part 7

[@gabrielmbx9253]

Jojo part 5 also

[@henritaas9997]

Jojo part 6 also

[@VakterMoks]

Jojo part also

[@henritaas9997]

@@VakterMoks real

[@Ganondorf01]

"No horrors here, just pathetic wizards who's greatest spells are my cantrips." That Twobold wizard quote is insanely raw.

[@thatguy763]

Oh my gosh look it's Cannon Dwarf

[@KeyboardTarantula]

oh my god it's THE cannon dwarf!

[@InvictusSolis143]

Yoooo its cannon dwarf

[@Noobgalaxies]

Twobold was always the funniest of the group because he improvs some of the funniest and rawest quotes, you can tell by watching the ANKO videos

[@dearrciciie]

real

[@FoxxyPoggers]

Alternate title: 4 friends getting tortured and becoming mentally insane by some dwarf with a cannon

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@randomviever]

*2 cannons

[@The-EJ-Factor]

And I thought the piles of hydras were going to be the stars of the shows

[@akiriathorsteinson7611]

The amount of mental suffering that’s going on is happening is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying at the same goddamn time

[@bookwyrm539]

You mean 3 freidns and one tortured observer

[@Cranberrie123]

They joked about it going to long. Then I see there's an hour left..

[@z34rk79]

It's funny that the only guys that infinitely increase in power, who can delete the dragon, are stuck behind an also ever growing Cannon Boss, and the weakest finite rolling player can only hit 2 numbers to defeat the dragon but never can hit it when the dragon rolls weak but when he does once, it's back into the rinse cycle or being outplayed by the dragon

[@fishcraft7323]

Noah sounded genuinely happy. This added a whole new layer to the comedy.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@greenkitty1]

EA games

[@Songking222]

It didn't sound happy, he was happy

[@gnoot50]

yea

[@Mc_clorinde888.8]

No he wasn't happy he was laughing in agony

[@glyvmybear]

This video is divided into two halves. First Half: Shits and giggles Second half: Anguish beyond belief

[@TSkyravin]

Third half: Constant laughter and crying

[@twasnotacrow]

just like hamilton

[@xela4k]

Alternatively First half: shits and giggles Second hafl: giggles and shits.

[@edpersona_l]

First half: cannon dwarf Second half: cannon dwarf Third half: cannon dwarf + some random dragon lmfao

[@anon077]

First third: mystic forest and cannon dwarf. Second third: CANNON DWARF. 3rd third: CANNON DWARF!!!! oh and a dragon ig.

[@Vivi-yw1eu]

There was no shadow realm on the board, so the board became a shadow realm

[@charrydog22]

THIS

[@MR_V0ID001]

THIS

[@AlekseyKoTReal]

THIS

[@IM_Botic]

THIS

[@jiayiliang5277]

THIS

[@SamBallantyne-qw8rg]

Before Cannon Dwarf: "The hydra gauntlet will be the hardest thing to deal with" During Cannon Dwarf: "HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG, ITS KINDA FUNNY" After Cannon Dwarf: "That Dragon is no match"

[@alexjansink9495]

"One must imagine sisyphus happy" In the end you could really see this here.

[@ethanhoier9931]

If you ever do another video woth these three, one of two things needs to happen 1. Canon dwarf needs to be the final boss 2. Have it on a rewards wheel, like, a 3% chance to land on, be "summon cannon dwarf" and see how long before they notice

[@nikolokulusgame]

U do realise, the would summon a bunch instantaneous

[@extreme_gamer7170]

oh god the horrors

[@mac_sour]

the final boss has a 0.0001% sliver: resurrect cannon dwarf with all stats from this video, see the trauma ensue

[@smiley7399]

3% is never 0%

[@TZkxG2914]

Man I want to like your comment but it has exactly 666 likes and it seems very fitting

[@linkhidalgogato]

they kept comparing their task with sisyphus but atleast that guys rock didnt get heavier when it rolled down.

[@strikermodel]

You got a laugh out of me, good work

[@bensoncheung2801]

Oh yeah, due to friction, my guy must be rolling a grain of sand by now!

[@centurionpan3400]

@@bensoncheung2801he just walks up the hill but it slips through his fingers every time and he has to run back down to get it

[@Glowing0v3rlord]

​@@centurionpan3400 Yeah, but he's saying it would have eventually eroded over time from friction

[@rickastleybutroblox7302]

@@bensoncheung2801a grain of sand would honestly be harder than the rock

[@dorol6375]

10:28‬ "a wizard is never early or late, he always starts his journey exactly when he means to" and he won

[@VV.O.l.D.]

the wizard of infinity, the warrior of infinity, and the meta-rouge. the two can stack power forever and the rouge can slip past the rules themselves

[@anchadiant]

@@VV.O.l.D. this means *cannon* ically, these three are the most powerful entities in the Magic The Noah Cinematic Universe When something stretches beyond the power of the Three Great Ones, we 100% getting an extinction event

[@magnimalt]

1:14:48 the fact that cannon dwarf didn't even lose to himself- no, even worse, HE TIED with himself, is true pain

[@joag_]

LMAO

[@kylezdancewicz7346]

He finally met an opponent equal to his power. But he was defeated by he, the cannon lover

[@shadowOrnn]

The fact that the dragon still rolled a 100 against itself

[@jglaab]

Noah at the beginning: i am holding you hostage Noah at the end: the game is holding US hostage

[@akiprox7]

murica is being held hostage

[@hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii2x]

@@akiprox7murica is dead

[@ReignyRain]

@@hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii2x nooo murica 😢

[@VV.O.l.D.]

@@ReignyRain SOME FOLKS ARE BORN WITH CANNONS INSTEAD OF HANDS, AND THEY RUIN OUR LIVES, (i just realized how good the cannons line is in fortunate son with this)

[@danhatter6823]

“Why won’t you die?!” “Cannon arms, son! They increase my power in response to physical trauma!”

[@Bonkionic]

Real

[@seiten0verkehrt374]

Underrated

[@raptorking9577]

"every failed attack is absorbed"

[@the_step_dan323]

and psychological trauma, cant forget that. that's why he took so long to kill, their insanity only furthered his strength

[@Nobody44112]

"WE ARE MAKING THE MOTHER OF ALL CANNONS HERE LEWIE, CAN'T FRET OVER EVERY +2!"

[@nemtzsche]

This is honestly one of my favourite videos ever made. I rewatch it when I feel down and it never fails to make me laugh even though I've seen it a few times already. The guys gradually losing their minds is just gold

[@TainoMoya]

the production budget has improved yet again. so much quality now

[@oscarnyan]

😶‍🌫

[@jairasha]

Too much quality, even

[@Mieskun1]

im astonished that he could hire people like ai to make such high quality games

[@MaxWeb2599]

I think, Noah didn't had enough Budget to pay himself, that's why he needed to outsource the game.

[@polomierer]

im scarred that it will be even better

[@tyquil825]

You know it’s bad when Noah changes rules to BENEFIT the players

[@NuclearN]

No it's bad when he takes a second to SCREAM in agony!

[@tyquil825]

@@NuclearN Oh no he’s probably done that many times off camera but we almost never see him *help* the players

[@TheFlame_Hawk]

​@@tyquil825he also did it in the tower defense video when Sophist invested in dragons

[@somedudethatripsplanetinha4221]

@@NuclearN 1:04:11 for anyone who wants to see it

[@IamNoobYT]

And they helped them by duplicating the canons

[@Barracood]

This was unironically the best Noah video, everything in it was perfect, twobold being teleported to the spawn, phish being stuck in the gauntlet, and the cannon dwarf slowly powering himself

[@LIAM_PCK0L]

The pure JOY in Twobolds and Noahs voice at 1:29:15 just shows how LONG this took

[@Sharpiiieee]

I petition for raw full length feature of the Google slides movie with 1 and a half hours of never before seen footage.. thanks in advance.

[@cookiekingdom6911]

I sign this petition.

[@heyyanewbie]

Yes please give us a second channel with any failed runs and full runs noah i am begging you,

[@jayphilipps3904]

GIVE US THE DIRECTORS CUT

[@Mysterium-zy6ri]

PLEASE

[@Ryvaken]

Absolutely. I will invite friends and make it a movie night. At the end of the night I will have one friend remaining. Maybe.

[@randomnerd5913]

Noah, Noah, Noah. I need you to release the full version. I need the full 7 hour cut. Please. And also the board game. I need to put my friends through this hell.

[@p_3ater160]

Yes

[@Marc-o2g6b]

Agreed I need to put my friends through this

[@The-EJ-Factor]

Cannon dwarf needs to make a return. It sounded like every time they lost to him they took a shot.

[@strikermodel]

I have gone through 4 mixed drinks in this video. I don't want to imagine what taking a shot each loss would be like.

[@SylviaGrome]

@@strikermodeldead you’d be dead

[@BlankT1]

"I'm gonna keep fighting the cannon dwafif it's only good things" 22:48 Famous last word

[@christianmiddelaarvan2377]

Biggest mistake in human history

[@JackWest-sp1zc]

Noah changing twobold’s subtitles to “I did choose” and “this was my choice” was so good.

[@artimoo_is_not_taken]

I think it was a problem at the translation department... You know it happens a lot in high quality movies like these

[@Nitosa]

​@@artimoo_is_not_taken"laughs happily"

[@kqawiyy]

I love how in the end they all had different builds in their decks Twobold: addition stacks Lewis: multiplier stacks Phish: high-ish base items

[@MD.Akib_Al_Azad]

Phish had the worst deck, like how could he kill 10 hydras yet still have the worst deck, he got so many chances for the Tresure Cards or everything else

[@Nitosa]

​@@MD.Akib_Al_Azaddon't forget that every time he beat a hydra another would then nerf him again.

[@MD.Akib_Al_Azad]

@@Nitosa and Twoblod defeated 5 hydras in one go, what took phish 7 rounds

[@fatihmika9559]

@@MD.Akib_Al_Azadover 7 rounds I think

[@teslapanda1412]

I think it's like twobold>Lewis>phish

[@deanb5912]

This was the best thing ever. I love how you did a community poll asking about captions, and then had to caption an hour and a half of gameshow.

[@有機物]

Maybe that post is out because of this video

[@Fimbulvetr2012]

For the low low cost of an hour and a half, you too can watch Noah and his friends descend into madness. It was quite pleasant

[@mr.lazyness4926]

Worth it

[@birdmcturd1626]

Phish’s experience with the hydras is exactly what fighting a hydra is actually like. You cut off one head,two more come back. It’s realistic

[@TheHeck17]

But hydra's arent real :(

[@birdmcturd1626]

@@TheHeck17 Prove it

[@obithegamer]

​@@TheHeck17nuh uh they do trust me bro

[@dot606]

Except that's not how hydras actually work in fiction. Hydras just regrow the 1 head they lost, it doesn't keep doubling

[@Capta1nTD]

​@dot606 Dude Hydras are literally from greek mythology. The myth was every time Hercules cut a head off, two more grew back in its place.

[@phoenixdzk]

The absence of the shadow realm may have weakened Twobold but he still powered through, what a comeback!

[@e-tan3911]

He powered through by designing his deck to spin as many wheels as humanly possible, which is a very twobold thing to do.

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@Ekgladiator]

The shadow realm was the start space 😂

[@madweenerdog8403]

@@e-tan3911He had shadow realm at home

[@TheCubifyer]

​@@Ekgladiatorthis whole game was the shadow realm.

[@PerfectZeroMusic_]

I love the fact that Noah reached the point of trying to end the game 1 hour in and then there was another 30 minutes of video left xD

[@Erchut]

Lol

[@drakefoster7047]

Don't forget that they been recording for over 3 hours

[@FSoJG28597]

Every Dragon Fight: 58:32 Round 1 [Lose] Phish 14 vs Dragon 16 58:49 Round 2 [Lose] Phish ??? vs Dragon 20 1:02:05 Round 3 [Lose] Phish 10 vs Dragon 20 1:04:10 Round 4 [Lose] Phish 14 vs Dragon 16 1:05:58 Round 5 [Lose] Phish 14 vs Dragon 16 1:09:07 Round 6 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 100 1:10:46 Round 7 [Lose] Lewis 17 vs Dragon 20 1:13:34 Round 8 [Lose] Phish 14 vs Dragon 100 1:15:47 Round 9-1/2 [Win] Phish 24 vs Dragon 20 1:15:56 Round 9-2/2 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 100 1:17:16 Round 10 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 20 1:18:36 Round 11 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 20 1:19:23 Round 12 [Lose] Phish 15 vs Dragon 100 1:20:33 Round 13 [Lose] Phish 25 vs Dragon 100 1:21:26 Round 14 [Lose] Phish 26 vs Dragon 100 1:22:43 Round 15 [Lose] Phish 15 vs Dragon 100 1:23:56 **Bonus Round** Dragon 16 vs Dragon 100 1:24:12 Round 16 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 100 1:26:34 Round 17 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 100 1:27:14 Round 18 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 100 1:27:44 Round 19-1/2 [Win] Twobold 20+ vs Dragon 20 1:27:54 Round 19-2/2 [Lose] Twobold 14 vs Dragon 100 1:28:34 Round 20 [Lose] Phish 0 vs Dragon 20 1:28:47 **Final Round-1/2** [Win] Twobold 20+ vs Dragon 16 1:28:58 **Final Round-2/2** [Win] Twobold 30+ vs Dragon 20

[@liinnder]

Phish stood no chance lol

[@FatalityScouter15]

Dragon rolled 100 dmg 8 fights in a row, thats some power.

[@jaredjosephsongheng372]

Phish skipped the Dwarf Gauntlet so he didn't have extremely powerful cards before heading into the Dragon Fight and that's why he lost at least 30 times in a row (because Noah said something about there being another 1.5 hours of lost content that just included Cannon Dwarf suffering and Phish repeatedly losing against the Dragon.)

[@specificocean4176]

its not even that the odds were that bad, he had a decent chance to end it much earlier, its just his luck making the dragon repeatedly roll 100 while he consistently rolls 0-14

[@bleh1818]

I find it really funny that Noah refuses to duplicate Twobold's staves not once, but twice, and after he suffers the consequences of not doing so, he realizes his terrible error and does not make the same mistake a 3rd time when the opportunity comes again

[@alangarciarodriguez3062]

The true character development

[@remor698]

1:28:14 That dog was the secret MVP, giving Twobold the necessary support to break free from the shackles of this insane game.

[@silver_wind40]

twobolds dog brought me away from the video and to reality. He's been sitting in his chair for oveer an hour watching a RNG wheel which decides their fate

[@memegumin]

I don't think this will be sent to a statistician to analyze, this should be sent to all the psychology majors to learn how comedy accelerate insanity.

[@disturbed-poltergeist3739]

The poetry, Lewis created the monster that is the Cannon Dwarf, and he killed it. It's beautiful.

[@moslok4919]

They got so broken at the end they forgot the main function of cannon was to also double the punishment Imagine how much stats the cannon dwarf would have if they still doubled the punishment

[@evanzablocki9346]

Oh God! I wish they did now. Cannon Dwarf, lord of all things cannon, would've become a God.

[@Triobian]

I forgot about that too, we need a redo of this video now XD

[@wyattdolfin5700]

@@evanzablocki9346 bold to assume he wasnt already

[@massimilianoreali4398]

But this would had also meaned that they got to upgrade and duplicate twice their cards so they would have even more chance to win against the dwarf

[@clintonbehrends4659]

@@evanzablocki9346 I'm pretty certain cannon dwarf litterallly cannot physically lose to bread god

[@username5155]

For future reference, Noah has established here that 1 Slime is 2 Goblin Equivalent (GE) and a Hydra is 7 GE. This is important lore that I hope Noah never forgets.

[@localcringeguy]

You looked too far into it.

[@cubixthree3495]

@@localcringeguy [obligatory agrument about how stupid you are] 😂

[@Moist_Turkey]

​@@localcringeguy No, this is very important. It'll come back in the future.

[@Korra33]

@@Moist_TurkeyYes this will appear in another video with more GE

[@karu6653]

What this video taught me: -Dont let these 4 go to Vegas -Psychological torment is a serious problem -All hail Cannon Dwarf, lover of cannons

[@sebastianrodriguez9889]

All hail Cannon Dwarf, lover of cannons

[@Irithind]

All hail Cannon Dwarf, Lover of Cannons.

[@t0mmy_326]

All hail Cannon Dwarf, lover of Cannons.

[@UsernotFound2018]

All hail Cannon Dwarf, Lover's of all cannons

[@GrizverG]

All hail Cannon Dwarf, lover of cannons

[@catsungdae]

one of my favorite parts of this video is, for some reason, the parts when noah accidentally selects the wrong wheel on the left side (particularly the "cannon dwarf vs cannon dwarf" parts because of how monotonous the footage beforehand is, like all the wheel spinning + counting, and then hearing someone go "wait noah that's cannon dwarf vs cannon dwarf/that's hydra vs hydra noah" just cracks me up bc it breaks the monotony)

[@GraveUypo]

it's been days. i cannot forget cannon dwarf. his methods seem harsh, but he was never truly an enemy. Upon his victory, he bestowed his foe with more power for your next fight, as well the gift of cannons, while only occasionally taking the opportunity to better himself, if only to be able to keep up with you and further help your growth. As he is finally defeated, he goes down with a smile in his lips, truly glad to see you break past your own limitations, satisfied that his sacrifice could be helpful. Ultimately, cannon dwarf was a not an enemy. He was a friend, and a mentor. He will be missed.

[@rodrigoandorinha9259]

A mentor who trained hes students for years so they could beat the dragon and free the mountains, the home of all dwarfs

[@safwanfarhan5132]

fr

[@pensandshakers]

May we all have such foes in our DND/Magic the Gathering games.

[@arcragerdbd3220]

🤬 cannon dwarf, his teaching methods made his students go into purgatory and go insane. That's not a good teacher if you ask me 👎

[@QSBraWQ]

This is the reason that his adepts became so powerful and destroyed final boss in two attempts, meanwhile a person who skipped all the lessons couldnt have beat the dragon no matter how hard he tried.

[@DuckyGames-dc4pu]

Honestly it was phish we were all worried about but when twobold and lewie got stuck on the cannon dwarf i forgot all about phish’s pain then.

[@Potatodome]

Cannon dwarf better be a reoccurring character after this

[@ANDORRA195]

It better, it needs to bring back ptsd

[@Potatodome]

Cannon dwarf and his infinitely replicating hydra army

[@tvs26]

it's funny if he only ever comes back when it's this group of youtuber as if it's haunting them

[@benjaminlu9542]

Technically speaking everything Lewis lost with the canan doubling the bomb it should have added +4 to the Canon dwarfs stats😭

[@tammynordhoff9199]

He does become one, I think

[@LoganWebb-ju7fg]

Not many people have noticed, but the rat wizard has a move that gains +10, so it if Lewis didn’t roll the bomb or the black hole, the rat wizard would probably be STRONGER THAN THE CANNON DWARF

[@Seweryn1234f]

Nope, rat wizard also has 2 other moves that are very weak

[@ClashBluelight]

@@Seweryn1234f Yeah, and Cannon Dwarf has two other moves that actively help the player.

[@Seweryn1234f]

@@ClashBluelight ye but they are strong unlike the rat wizard ones, he has a 4 and a 10

[@ClashBluelight]

@@Seweryn1234f Wouldn't that be 14 and 20 after just one turn of getting +10?

[@Seweryn1234f]

@@ClashBluelight no, rat wizard's attack says "gain +10 to THIS move" So it does not upgrade the rest of the attacks

[@StressIsNormal]

"There's a second stage?" - Fish You can hear the hope extinguish in his voice 😅😂

[@adriancarlito8830]

What's funnier is that the dragon consecutively rolling those 100's are literally one in a million chances. He could've won a lottery with that.

[@KaiCarp]

Phish* 🤓☝️

[@adriancarlito8830]

@@KaiCarp Why bother properly naming a fish?

[@NaturallyAnIdiot]

When the test has 2 sides

[@trentgawd4292]

Towards the end, Noah just starts sounding like a boxing coach whenever their boxer gets knocked back and they’re getting ready for another round

[@SEVIBhullar]

I like how twobolds wheel just became a counting game

[@Peter_Anthony]

I love when the subtitles change, it feels like watching the actual history vs. what was recorded of the events

[@Im_Ibex]

1:12:46 when Twobold said “you suck Noah” but then the captions said “you are great Noah” is so good 😭😭

[@ihauok]

"reality can be whatever i want"

[@yonusz.hashim8335]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Camp-z2d]

I love when captions don’t match what is actually said or show complete opposite

[@bearturtle6058]

Someone else says it again later, but the subtitles are actually correct. Meaning Noah has felt remorse for his cruelty.

[@nicolrb2210]

"That time the rogue fought an endless gauntlet of hydras and became the strongest in the world" put that on my anime watch list

[@marshcopy3389]

That's a fire anime, but I personally enjoyed "That time I got reincarnated into a dwarf with cannons for arms and became the strongest in the world by beating up losers!" a bit better

[@cobaltsky8118]

@@marshcopy3389personally I like “that time I faced the final boss after goblins made me start over repeatedly”

[@kanmeridoc1784]

Vaguely reminds me of Arifureta, except he was a support class of some kind and not a rogue.

[@ClashBluelight]

@@cobaltsky8118 My favorite was "My Time as a Wizard Spent Fighting Endless Hoards of Goblin Hydras."

[@i-totally-am-nabstablook-hehe]

@@ClashBluelight i prefer "endless goop, endless hydras, FREEDOM"

[@Timelessness0]

Bro this was like one of those manhwas. I killed millions of goblins and I became the strongest wizard.

[@modzflare8683]

*And infinite hydras

[@jasminecole8596]

Infinite DUPLICATING HYDRAS! XD@@modzflare8683

[@kyuokuo]

Then he faces the Venerable Elder Cannon Dwarf and has his cultivation crippled, having been humbled by that Body Immortal Elder

[@DestroyerRio]

​@@kyuokuoPeak fiction

[@meisnewperson]

that WAS how it was looking w/ Twobold

[@JustTiredOk]

Twobold is addition and Lewie is Multiplication

[@universalgaming5967]

Ans phish is x^0

[@TheNinja131]

if anyone else is curious, Phish's points disappear sometime between 1:00:20 -1:00:50. took a lot of scrolling around after they pointed it out haha

[@cpupyroheart5716]

at 1:13:21 Noah added 5 to Cannon Dwarf's ability, which is why he got odd numbered. watching this video 3 times has unlocked my magical abilites, which is how i know such arcane things

[@jackdudley3755]

Sorry you watched this how many times??😊

[@cpupyroheart5716]

@@jackdudley3755 ADHD is a hell of a spicy brain to have

[@alexanderrose1071]

Then what was Phish’ actual glory points number, before it got deleted?

[@GadzieGadanie]

@@alexanderrose1071 12, you can see it at 54:35 and he doesnt gain any more

[@BFPerry220]

Then you know that the game isn't over yet. They declared a victor without finishing the spins.

[@kyl3g4mez77]

1:02:34 gotta be the best part. all three of their turns had a silly funny, I love the sound of them all dying inside: "TWOBOLDDDD!! MY GUYYYY!!!!!" "I GOTCHU MY BOY!!" the sheer energy behind their dead voices is amazing. "SEE ITS FUNNY.... BECAUSE YOU CAN NEVER WINN!!!!" "SISYPHUS!! I UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!" they are dying and you cannot convince me otherwise. This is the best vid on his channel to date, we need the full uncut vid of them all dying inside, cannondwarf NEEDS to return, and I'm unsubbing if he doesn't. Because I know how much you value EACH and EVERY sub and I MATTER... 😠 that said hope you're recovered mentally by now.

[@Thehuman_player]

uh

[@feha92]

the dog started bringing its owner toys because it sensed the distress xD

[@konkurer775]

Noah usually reuses sprites so it's very likely cannon dwarf will return and hopefully with these 3, maybe as an ally. (I fully believe if Noah reads comments he'll shamelessly steal this suggestion and you know what, that's okay.

[@kagemushashien8394]

Canon Dwarf: The Movie.

[@cameronvanatti]

I want the uncut version released so I can hire a statistician to figure out how likely it was that the game lasted this long😂😂😂, not that they could account for human choice with Lewis battling cannon dwarf and giving it extra strength 😂😂

[@MOBANest]

and Spiff was asking: “Is this the unluckiest a group has been?” i guess he never saw this video

[@geraldballinger6428]

Twobolt was just grinding goblins like a level 1 player doing their first quest

[@LordAinzEditz]

Fish did say he would become the protagonist 48:50 Fish after his 100 hydra training arc:🗿

[@space-diny7667]

Fish:🎣

[@OverloadedDragon]

they each had their moment as the main character

[@Klausweichen]

Somehow had the worst end game deck, his allies being "i cast beat you to death 40 times" and i use 7 cannons

[@CoolGuyDude]

Twobolt just finishing the gauntlet in one go makes him the true hero of the story

[@clintonbehrends4659]

I mean he beats the final boss too

[@benjaminschmitt1562]

Around thirty minutes into the video, I actually felt like this game would be really fun to play. Not anymore! Amazing job.

[@doubleking7070]

No intelligence is more artificial than Noah’s.

[@hollowbox5723]

they all lost it at the end

[@EEEEEEEE]

E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@I3oozeAddict]

The AI was the only intelligence seen in this video

[@NubE-Co]

Noah's math skills are worst than stupid

[@ezkillah8]

i feel immense amounts of psychological pain

[@andrewcavender8443]

Honestly cannon dwarf is just the rpg mentor. He just spars with them and both have the potential to get stronger.

[@FuromeNavi]

Cannon Dwarf literally made so strong, they felt weak but they’re the strongest fighters in the world. Nothing beats them except for -20 luck 😂😂😂

[@genderlesssalamander8939]

Fish held the line so they could train

[@samkoyagi]

Noah is usually laughing at the players suffering so seeing him suffer alongside the players is priceless lol

[@magicball3201]

There's been multiple videos where it's clear that Noah started laughing with us, but as the players do stupid ideas, he begins to suffer with them instead.

[@tyquil825]

1:04:12 Bro was done with everything at this point. My favorite video by far

[@riccardobrunelli9286]

Never have i been so entertained by the same exact sequence of moves for over 40 minutes,you guys are amazing and hilarious

[@cadenbarry]

I agree

[@AikaHoshii]

"I rolled only 1s, lost my staff and haven't used any magic" sounds like a title for a new isekai anime

[@somniumvr5340]

"you say we but this isnt a team base game" near the end "pleasse phish you have to save us!"

[@AbyssalB55]

i love how painstakingly this went from "not a team game" to a team effort of sheer endurance

[@BobFauci]

I don't know if I've ever laughed so much. This has to be honestly, the best one. It REALLY did circle from Funny -> Not Funny -> Funny Again. I can't believe it. Was super invested. Hope twobold played with dog after.

[@samuelparchment1908]

I think it then went back to not funny and then back to funny again. I’m dying.

[@CliffHangerPolices]

What? I laugh for 1 hour straight theres no part thats not funny

[@BobFauci]

Only better in the sense that I'm invested the whole time, no so reason to click off. @@samuelparchment1908

[@maxcuppens]

past noah: this isn't a team game cannon dwarf: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

[@awesomoose7822]

twobold - olden wizard gets a blast to the past phish - idle clicker fighting sim Lewie - Hopelessly keeps trying to create a black hole on command to defeat an enemy

[@VannyBeumer]

First half

[@gggalaxies4122]

I couldnt help but notice FDD in the wheel presets implying that he was supposed to be the true final boss but Noah gave up on continuing.

[@thatcomplimentguy2340]

Im surprised this video has not been taken down from KZbin for showing the most inhumane torture method to ever exist.

[@gamer2pl4yer9]

whaaaaaat, no way this is just a "normal "board game (that gives you insanity)

[@ajm2487]

I sent this to my statistics Professor he emailed me back saying if I sent him another thing like this he’s going to fail me but he said it is an ungodly low chance for it to happen the way it did

[@oloyolopl]

These videos are getting longer and longer and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT

[@SleekHeroo]

These videos are absolutely great to pass time while doing chores or eating dinner or doing some work shit on god

[@monwyn8538]

@@SleekHeroo maybe not this video specifically, after they got stuck at cannon dwarf i just kept laughing i can barely take a sip from my bottle

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E

[@MaxWeb2599]

I think Noah loosed his sanity, when the video hit the 1 hour mark.

[@danishchawla690]

​@@monwyn8538same man 😂😂

[@markholub97]

“I CAST THUNDERBOLT!!!” - -Proceeds to fly backwards into the next county due to recoil- “Did I get him?” 😂

[@thewaiteboys8084]

"I'm going to keep fighting the canan dwarf, it's only good things" -One Poor Soul

[@silver_wind40]

insanity is the doing the same thing over n over again looking for a different outocoeme

[@Damian-cilr2]

@@silver_wind40 Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change... That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, boom...I shot him! The thing is... He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over again thinking, 'This time is gonna be different, no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different'. (Far cry 3 refrenennc)

[@Sevness]

What makes this so perfect, is EVERYONE suffers, not just the players, but Noah too is being punished and tortured, even the viewer is being punished for being here, feeling the same moments of excitement, and then disappointment.

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

The lore of this set is *INSANE,* we finally know where the hydra come from, we find out that goblins and slimes are are scaled and draconic in nature, we find out what FDD's been doing with his freedom, we find out the goop has mind-controlling properties against scales, we find out Phish doesn't know what words mean... And this is just in the first few cards, before we meet the new main character, canon dwarf, the Hydra Farmer! Also "Twobold, you're up, horrors await you" has to be one of the quotes of all time. The delivery was surely delivered. Though, back to the LORE, I can't believe the hydras finally unlocked regeneration. Weird it took them two years to grind to the level where they unlock their basic ability, maybe the balance team should be whipped to fix that, but the hydra using goblin-slime swarm tactics was a pretty nice way to tie its regeneration into the new heritage reveal around its first and second stage evolutions! And yet, despite their many minds, they can still wait patiently for their turn in line to eat the wizard and rogue, how sweet~ Phish really *is* a rogue, everyone makes these jokes about bards, but rogues are almost as bad. The hydras should sue for harassment. At least Phish really *can* take five Hydras at the same time. It's so sad seeing that every time I've of his beloved pets die, the canon dwarf gets angier and angrier, but at least that also makes him stronger and stronger. His hydras, statistically, will be avenged. Especially since Louie is pulling Frieza and just letting him power up because of his ego. The wizard also immediately ending up in a hydra gauntlet alone after abandoning Phish was just exceptional storytelling, I love it, props to the writers, toss a few more glowsticks in the basement, i know they like to drink those. (It was also a good fight so toss the animators a raise and an extra free car as they go home to their families that love them) The Canon dwarf arc, though... God damn. I know half of it was filler, but... It was so good. Seeing the consequences of Louie's actions bite the team. All united once again for the first time since episode 1... and they still aren't strong enough. Fish abandoning the group, though... Good call on skipping that chapter. The narrative idea was good, but the execution was terrible. Skipping right to the dragon was a much better transition. Switching between the ineptitude of the coward villian phish and the utter dominance of our main character against the main and lancer villains was a really good scene, pacing-wise, especially as Dwarf took blow after blow but refused to die. But the part that really set in stone how amazing this season was is definitely when the Dragon managed to finally do the impossible; it physically harmed Noah, god of this world. No one, not even the players, had ever done that. Canon dwarf was right to put his faith into her, unlike the player's faith in eachother. It was a nice parallel that meshed with the story's themes quite nicely. The pain the characters felt feels so real, too! The voice actors should get an extra five minutes of simulated sunlight for that performance! I really felt like these people were going insane! But... When Canon dwarf... When Canon dwarf fell... I cried. Not because I was sad. But because we both knew he'd bought enough time. He and the dragon won. They won against Noah. And Phish. And Gengar. And... Whatever the fuck Louie is. That, and the dragon can still deal more permanent damage to Noah while it still has the chance. And while the dragon's death is tragic, denying the true winners, Phish and Louis, the win, despite clearly both deserving it, is really a victory in disguise. Noah will never forget them. Meaning they'll live forever, since he is their god, and his mind grants them life. Congratz on the new children you have dug into your pre-frontal cortex, Noah. They'll never leave.

[@itsnightcraft5357]

I an’t reading all that 🤫

[@alberto9927]

Quality commenti

[@Ramzi65ok]

this is a comment yes.

[@goongoon6652]

The best part is all of this could be completely true or completely false because my brain has melted alongside the players and I remember nothing

[@entothechesnautknight1762]

​@@goongoon6652 I lied about FDD, his whereabouts are unknown and he is still at large.

[@Psirath]

Watching this at 1 am was the best choice of my time I could ever spend. I have never spent what felt like hours laughing at the sheer hatred for a dwarf with cannons for hands.

[@ippanpedrozo1162]

this would literally be one of the funniest isekai mangas holy shit. 3 main characters, one just farms hydras but is bad at it; one goblin killing specialist that blows himself up constantly; and the hero that constantly fights against the demon lord's general and they both get infinitely stronger

[@PoumiRaku]

I would 100% watch that

[@MyrissaGrace]

No he is the demon lord

[@ZanDamn]

Far less entertaining than this video

[@katboi7140]

Don't forget the god that really want to intervene to make them win because he's slowly going insane every seconds

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

"I'm going to slay the Demon Lord and cleanse this land of evil once and for all!" "You've been fighting the Demon Lord for the past fifteen years at this point and both of you are infinitely stronger than when you started as a result. It's to the point where nobody else but you can kill it, and you haven't done that yet somehow." "Today will be different! I know it!" "When you come back stronger and lootless, do I get to say, "I told you so?"" "Please don't."

[@mizos_yan]

"Phish, the Slayer of Hydras" "Lewie, the Dworf Assasinator" "Twobold, the Dragonslayer"

[@lukeskymaster]

more like lewie the sabtaour

[@baronluke8065]

"Lewis, friend of cannons"

[@nikolokulusgame]

Lewie, the relentless

[@nikolokulusgame]

Phish, the persistent Twobold, the gooped

[@cobaltsky8118]

Twobold hater of goblins

[@zachvandezande908]

1:01:11 “It’s just a drop in the bucket “ Nah, it’s a drop in an entire ocean at this point.

[@FSoJG28597]

And the Cannon Dwarf proceeded to get nearly TWICE as powerful.

[@Colonel_E]

During the video : -"Omg it's Canon dwarf!" After the video : -"OMG ITS CANON DWARF"

[@xxbloodstarxx3523]

This is the hardest I have laughed in years! You hit the point when Noah just screams in agony and it's only 2/3 through the video. This is just the greatest

[@SinaHeuberger]

As the probabilities for each card and ability remain the same you can find out how many fights it takes them to win, using a “simple” calculation (bc the rules of a Bernoulli experiment apply) for Lewie vs Cannon Dwarf it looks like this: at least cannon times two in a row: 2/3 x 2/3 = 2/9 CD not 149: 2/3 -> L w = 4/27 , roughly 1/9 Twice in a row: 1/81 so we’ll say 1% winning chances -> B (n|p=0,01|k=1) > 99% is the calculation for him winning certainly twice in a row -> 1-0,99^n 0,01>0,99^n | log(…) -> log(0,01)/log(0,99) > n Calculator -> 458,21> n -> Lewie would (statistically) have to fight 458 times Edit: yes, this video could be used for math lessons, yet (in Germany) it would only be for year 13, as it’s part of stochastic in the final exams. The task would be: How many times would Lewie have to fight in order to have a 99% chance of defeating cannon dwarf Edit two: n is the number of fights/rolls Edit three: obv this isn’t true at all moments of the video but at the part where all of them started to doubt the maths behind it these were the stats (and if I was to accommodate for changing values I’d be calculating for longer than this video took to record)

[@Huntonius4]

2/3^2 = 4/9 4/9 * 2/3 = 8/27; you miscalculated Lewis' chance by exactly half.

[@SinaHeuberger]

@@Huntonius4 thx for the correction

[@sethjoestar5706]

Murphy's law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." In some formulations, it is extended to "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time." and this is an example of the latter, AND I LOVE IT!!!

[@aplayer-xr4gu]

this still remains one of my favorite gameshows this man has ever hosted it's too good