I no longer want friends who…| Episode 165

[@allanotieno762]

I no longer want friends who don't change or improve their lives after watching TMI Podcast🫡

[@tmipodcastke]

Yessssssss!

[@perismkala4275]

Very trueeee 🔥🔥

[@evelynk3781]

Friends who can't understand that we all have different paths in life. Luckily you achieve a milestone and then you start looking down on friends in your circle as failures.

[@ken4722]

Friendships are so complicated man! To me, the biggest thing I look for in friendships is GRACE. I always want someone to know I chose them and love them dearly. So I am not going out of my way to sabotage and hurt them. With this in mind, when I slip up, give me grace and maybe think I didn't know (this to me should be the first thought, and maybe wait to be proven wrong). I do that with so many of my friends, but as soon as I slip up I get demonized a lot. It never ceases to amaze me.

[@wangarikariuki6522]

This! Grace above all else! In this cancel culture we’re living in, I wish people thought about the intention of the ‘villain’ before cancelling them and I wish people gave others the chance to correct their wrongs before chucking them out of their lives. To be human is to make mistakes

[@the_sunshinesunflower]

Ken it's amazing that you are able to give yourself grace. That is why you are able to give grace too. You treat people the way you treat yourself ❤️ When I got here, I healed my own energy in the sense that I began to repel people who don't give themselves grace. Identifying them within the first few minutes of interacting with them is such a level of growth for me❤️

[@ken4722]

@@the_sunshinesunflower this is such a great point. It's true, I started giving people more grace as soon as I began meditating and practicing mindfulness. These exercises made me more self-compassionate, which has enabled me to extend grace (and compassion) to others. With what you just said in mind, I will try to surround myself with people who show themselves grace more 🙏❤

[@peacefulliving2906]

I no longer want friends who treat friendship casually and refuse to show up when they should

[@tmipodcastke]

True, there's no point in being friends then.

[@wahu254]

This

[@jackline.w.w]

Same same

[@_Tots_]

Can you shout it one more time for the 'friends' in the back?

[@teresiakamami5305]

I nolonger need friend's who think they are the only cute ,well dressed ,perfect in every room and critisizing others

[@Beckyndanu]

Spicy

[@carolinenjoroge1195]

It's insecurity

[@RuthMorara-g7u]

Thiiiiiis

[@valariogulah]

As i grow im learning ,alot of females get into friendships based on vibes,"i just like her vibe",lets normalize treating friendships like romantic relationships,thats how you choose safe people,vet them.Also learning to see them with a new set of eyes,and not expecting them to be the same everyday,every month and if you truely value the relationship if they do something that you find off, the mature adult part in you will consider voicing it ,if you don't the problem is you and not them.I love TMI.

[@eunicemumbi5463]

My take home from this episode is from Murugi " i need friends who can celebrate me loudly"

[@tmipodcastke]

True!

[@puritykaranja5310]

I no longer need friend who don't share information to me that involves me in the name of 'protecting' me.

[@tmipodcastke]

As Murugi said, we no longer want friends that don't call out our mistakes in the name of protecting us!

[@njokigacheru1025]

𝙑𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙚...

[@sakuraesther6309]

Heard a girl say she can keep her mouth shut if her friend is being cheated on if her man is treating her well .imagine

[@LoveHumansAsGodLovesYou]

When my sister passed away, most people that I considered as friends just didn’t show up for me, and people that I never thought much about showed up in a way that I just never expected. That changed my perspective about friendship… a lot!

[@ms.Phey254]

I no longer need friends who suck my energy day in day out....i need my cup to be filled with the same intensity i be pouring

[@jennykelma]

loud please

[@the_sunshinesunflower]

People who suck energy out of others are usually narcissists. They don't have a sense of self, confidence, self worth, self esteem, awareness and the worst thing is the inability to look within and be accountable.

[@JJ-to3zf]

Y'all ate all year long. The camera quality, the voices the content.. ohhh girls sometimes i am listening on podcast then switch half way to see how gorgeous y'all look.

[@tmipodcastke]

Thankyou so much ❤

[@abigaelrotich9688]

That point about women in bad relationships needing community. I have experienced this kind of friendship and my although I did not stop being her friend, I had to distance myself because we would be constantly putting out fires. I did not see any steps taken towards healing self and evolving to a better version of herself. I supported and adviced but I came to notice that the attention she would get from being rescued from bad situations and being considered fragile and a victim of life was a space she was not ready to leave. So I gave distance.

[@annem4171]

Underrated comment

[@phoebemogoko6660]

I nolonger want friends with main character syndrome....like everything is always about them

[@jennykelma]

true

[@the_sunshinesunflower]

Like life doesn't revolve around them so they constantly pull attention to them desperately. Narcissistic energy detected and detested💀

[@JJ-to3zf]

Friends who are jealous of you having other friends apart from them

[@Luckylinah]

When Murugi said 'I no longer want friends who don't celebrate me loudly ' I felt that in my bones! Why would someone dm me happy birthday on Insta but commenting publicly is where they draw the line!!

[@kandisphere8828]

Oh wow! I'm learning here. I did not know that this would be an issue for people because I'm not a social media person, so I only send happy birthday messages via WhatsApp. I'm not even a fan of putting WhatsApp status even for family or myself, so I may never claim anyone publicly 😅

[@namsey307]

I understand bt it's good to try 😂U don't know unaweza Pata u have mutual friends and know a lot than you thought of positively and negatively ​@@kandisphere8828

[@jennykelma]

@@kandisphere8828 I feel yours is okay, if I were your friend, Ithink I would understand. I think you need a friend that gets you. It would be different if you do so to others but to me.

[@kandisphere8828]

@@jennykelma yes, I get your point. If it is only you who doesn't get the public recognition, then definitely it would be an issue.

[@Luckylinah]

@kandisphere8828 this I understand, but there are friends that I have experienced,very active on social media like all platforms but when it's my birthday they don't celebrate me publicly, they send a silent dm.no way

[@amokoobonyo4240]

I am a busines person and I somewhat disagree on the cutting off friends because they do not buy from you. You create expectations for your friends and when they are not delivered you feel some type of way. Let your friends support you in whatever capacity, if it is sharing you craft on their socials, if it is referring someone to you, if it is changiaring to the growth of the business let it be that. We need support from people we love but truly we do not get to dictate HOW they do it.

[@paulinekamau9633]

Am no longer in need of friends whom I have to call all the time.

[@vivianbuyayi3447]

I no longer want friends who are still friends with my enemies.

[@WairimuMutinda]

I am honestly blown away, you two look GORGEOUS. Wow, so stunning honestly.🌸

[@tmipodcastke]

Thank you so much!!

[@DeDollyshow]

I no longer need a routine friendship. I love the assurance that you're my friend , we don't have to link up or talk to each other everyday but whenever we meet ,it's always lit🎉

[@tmipodcastke]

Exactly!

[@norahkaranja4054]

That point about friends supporting your business/hustle is just too much expectation. If my friend has a school I must put my kids there? Never have a business expectation that it will thrive from friends' and family support. I can be a supportive friend independent of your business.

[@njokigacheru1025]

𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣..

[@the_sunshinesunflower]

I don't promote or support a business 😂 I buy because I need the product or service. I buy because I believe in the quality period

[@sarahmwangi1388]

No longer friends who are strategically “kind “ to get what they want from me

[@the_sunshinesunflower]

I also want mutualism💛 not parasitism.

[@faith.adeyaa]

Lydia, you said it! Friends who hold you in low regard. So sad

[@Lily_muthengi]

Sure, the friends who have high end jobs, knowing who is who., they can real do that. I had one

[@njokigacheru1025]

𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣...

[@favouritegirl_]

just place people where they place you muache mambo mingi

[@aokookello5564]

Exactly. Once you learn this life becomes easy. It's difficult living in this planet already. Imagine dealing with people.

[@EvakarenMuriithi]

I love how these sessions usually end up being talk therapy and discovery about themselves and eachother for these two babes😍😍

[@gatwirifilister4736]

I think the babe who said about friends who don't support your business is right some friends even have business with cheap prices but can't support yet when they need credit they come to you.I no longer need such friends who can't support each other's business

[@shalomandrest]

i no longer want friends who keep entertaining my known enemies and keeps saying they are toxic while keeps hanging out with them

[@Patricia_Odila]

I resonate!

[@Augenia]

Murugi loves Lydia so much❤❤❤❤

[@carolinemuya8598]

I feel support can be more than monetary ....prayer , acts of service, showing up! I feel like personally I would hold that standard to my friends but I would hold space to view different versions of it... I don't know how I would be so obsessed and passionate about something ...yap about it all the time and not have my friends be involved 😅

[@junewambui9293]

You know those friends who from the beginning to the end of your meet-up, it's all about them and you can barely get a word in about how you've been? You must take 1 million pictures of them during the date and go where they want to go? It's so exhausting 😭Miss me with that.

[@yvonneachieng-f8d]

I nolonger want friends who am the one who plans everything like meet ups and still pays for everything

[@tmipodcastke]

Exactly, we must all show collective intention!

[@Cikanyoro]

I have been the friend who won't call my friend out, untill we broke up . Maybe if I spoke up we would still be friends. I no longer want friends who won't call me out when I do things that are hurting our friendship or hurting them.

[@tmipodcastke]

So sorry for your friendship breakup but now you know better!

[@esthermutahi2811]

Am done doing this Friendship thing... PERIOD Yooh Am Tayad😂😂😂

[@danielmiyaba8816]

Lydia is the friend Murugi is yapping about..... Lord I love these two

[@drew5855]

I no longer want friends who only remember me when they are in need,and when it comes to my turn they cannot do the same.Such a pitty.😢

[@tmipodcastke]

Reciprocation is key in friendships!

[@JMandy]

For the “supporting business” point, I feel like it’s almost like a love languages problem at hand. I would expect to be told at least once if I am inadvertently ignoring my friends business “please buy at least sth from my shop”… since they’ve communicated, I would try to remember. Also if I have the business then I would explicitly ask them “it would mean so much to me if you supported me kidogo”… with love languages it’s just communication in short

[@tmipodcastke]

@@JMandy Absolutely true!

[@CynthiahKamoro]

I no longer want friends who dont think beyond average actions . A friend who cannot be critical enough to connect life experiences , and know that someone is doing this and that for this and that purpose

[@peacefulliving2906]

I was once friends with a lady who was pregnant. I gifted her a beautiful necklace out of pure love. I purchased it fresh right in front of her. Her husband wasnt happy about it and told her that I had done black magic on that pendant. And she believed it! She didnt say anything to me directly but I overheard their conversation pretty clearly. That was it for me! I no longer need friends who feel they are entitled to assume anything about me

[@ken4722]

That's so heartbreaking. You don't need friends who will join hands with others to trash you or friends who will never acknowledge the purity of your intentions.

[@peacefulliving2906]

@ken4722 thanks for your support.

[@namsey307]

Maybe the husband never liked you that's why

[@AshaSaid-h6v]

yeap, no. you must never see her agin

[@sharonnyakoa7490]

Hey Lyd and Murugi,you look beautiful On this topic, I have a very hard time making friends 😢😂 in past friendships, I just felt I was giving too much but the same was not reciprocated. I fear getting close to people generally😂😂I just love being on my own. Friends I have is my mum,my sister,my nephew and my bro. When I'm in social gatherings,it's hard for me to start conversations 😢😢😢I usually feel bad sometimes Friendships can break you. What I know is that I'm growing and I'm sure when I make friends,I'll be able to handle it.

[@tmipodcastke]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It can be really challenging when friendships feel one-sided, and it's understandable to be cautious about opening up to new people. It’s great that you’re aware of your boundaries and growth journey. Remember, the right friends will appreciate and reciprocate your efforts. Wishing you the best as you continue to grow and connect with others at your own pace!❤

[@sharonnyakoa7490]

@tmipodcastke thank you

[@j.omondi5826]

I mean this in the nicest way: can you guys brand TMI in a way that it targets Africa and the rest of the global. You can start with Africa. The two of you combined are just larger than life

[@AbuorSally]

Love love this ❤❤ ....... I think we need a whole podcast on unrealistic expectations we sometimes put on friends.

[@Fidey_Kokonya]

Yaaaas babes, yaaaas

[@janewaruinu2746]

I no longer want friends who are unkind

[@joanauma3737]

Why am i bumping into this after blocking them😅.I no longer want friends who makes me feel guilty everytime like it's their right for me to help them.

[@The_farmers_daughter]

Since they mentioned Caroline Mutoko what if they bring her as a guest😮

[@missinjairu1448]

Riiiiigggght 💯

[@danielmiyaba8816]

1;02;02......growing physically ,mentally and spiritually ..... EMOTIONALLY.......Am dying😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅...... The things they did with the hands I love.... And Lyds face

[@SunshineVickie]

i was looking for this comment..i laughed so haard😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Fidey_Kokonya]

❤❤here i am tuned in coz i would like healthy friendships and to be better

[@tmipodcastke]

You're in the right place!❤

[@Fidey_Kokonya]

Absolutely 💯 ​@@tmipodcastke

[@ken4722]

With wanting/needing friends who are not similar to you, it's easier said than actualized. Life is easier and much better if you have people who reflect your values. You need people who UNDERSTAND simple stuff like me not wanting to hang out tonight doesn't mean I don't want to hang out with you anymore. I am saying this as someone who has had people who are similar to me and those who are not similar to me. With the former, you dont even need to explain stuff, they just understand you a lot and vice versa. Things just work out smoothly.

[@tmipodcastke]

It's about finding people who get you, even if they're not exactly like you!

[@MagrethAkilah20]

Friends who feel so entitled in my life, that they can say or do anything without any reaction like broooh i gotta leave 😂😂...... And I really loved this episode 😍❤

[@angiemukora]

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER PLZ, JO!!!! I will only do the alternating date bill for reasonable spend - I am also not paying for your 15 shots of Don Julio when I had one passion juice hahaha Amazing episode as always girls

[@tmipodcastke]

Not the 15 shots of Don Julio 😂 We feel you Angie!

[@NjeriKims]

I no longer need friends who minimise my ability....

[@monicahwanjiru43]

Loud on murugi's point on friends who dont call me out,

[@ceci9570]

This is such good timing for me lol, since I had to end a friendship and I'm still bitter. If I had written in my response would be I no longer want friends who pretend to know you better than you know yourself. Like STOP gaslighting me 😭😭😭😭

[@phoebewasike5397]

I can relate

[@tmipodcastke]

Totally feel you! Gaslighting friends are a no-go. It's all about surrounding yourself with people who genuinely get you!

[@ceci9570]

@@phoebewasike5397 it's tough 😭😭

[@phoebewasike5397]

​@ceci9570 it hurts but life has go on

[@katewamuyu2465]

I no longer need friends who constantly criticize, belittle and put me down.

[@Kemiatarah]

I no longer want friends who don't respect my time or effort. This is my first time on here and oh my goodness,am stuck 🎉going back to episode 1 haraka upesi

[@tmipodcastke]

Welcome on board❤

[@joyanne-marie4827]

after a while, u have to stop calling out ur friends for “wrong behavior” and just move away slowly. i feel there’s a fine line between trying to make them “act right” and them feeling like u’re controlling them/uncomfortable around u, even if everyone is acting from a place of love. it sucks but it’s the reality of things.

[@Bea_Wanjiru]

I concur

[@lyn_lyn229]

I no longer need friends who are self-centred.

[@beloncekamz2821]

Wueh! Si leo mnashout 😌. Friendship series is one of my favorites❤. Warembo luku luku ni safi👌🏾😍🔥🔥. It's Definitely TMIIII 🔊🔊💃🏾

[@jackline.w.w]

This podcast resonates with my life and how I view the world so much. Today I have felt less isolated in how I view friendships

[@tmipodcastke]

Oh Thankyou!

[@shellmithwanjugu7725]

Eiii jameni me i just want friends 😅 ( on a light note)

[@janegichuru4853]

😂

[@Coffee_n_drafts]

😅😅

[@ursulamomanyi5344]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@perismkala4275]

You ladies are looking great.....the topic is mwaa 👌

[@tmipodcastke]

Thank you! We’re glad you like the topic

[@sharonmwende1904]

I support Murugi's point on friends supporting each others business but in that if I need something and my friend is selling some good stuff, why not promote them instead of going the extra mile? yeah

[@tmipodcastke]

@@sharonmwende1904 Exactly 💯

[@DollBrinxy]

Loved this convo... it's definitely TMI

[@rheejoanne7744]

This comment section is healing omg

[@JK-ju8jl]

I no longer need friends period ❤❤❤❤❤

[@maureenogodo1464]

I agree with Murugi on supporting your friends businesses...Look at it this way your have friends who don't support your channel,a friend in agency working with a client who on something sexual and casually mentions she's having a hard time finding a good influencer to work with yet....

[@akinyiskitchen7563]

I no longer want friends who cannot communicate and refuse to learn to do so

[@NjeriKims]

I no longer need friends who are people pleasers

[@tmipodcastke]

Yesssss!

[@evewaithaka]

Me too. Honestly, it's do draining. Then they keep complaining.

[@mwakananyangwe7943]

Lydia, plug for your dress please ❤

[@margretgiftwangari5023]

It's definitely Tmi 🔥🔥

[@marywambui6552]

hurray😊my fav podcasters have finally done their thing❤

[@christinemaposa4911]

I nolonger want friends who go to other people for the same service that i offer but only come to me when they want it for free or on credit. What does that make me feel as a friend, is my business not worthy enough for you to only want it for free

[@tmipodcastke]

True, you deserve to be valued for what you offer babes ❤

[@Hey_NiSherrie14]

I no longer want FAKE FRIENDS!!

[@tmipodcastke]

Real!

[@ColletaMaloba.]

Finally.....hi lovelies, yall look so elegant 10/10❤🎉......i on the other hand, avoid friends who always complain about moni😊

[@tmipodcastke]

Thankyou ❤ As you should dear!

[@fionaonunda6019]

I no longer want Jealous and tribal friends

[@florencekiburi836]

I no longer want friends who gatekeep other people

[@lydiahkw]

I no longer wants friends you only keep ''in touch'' when they need financial favors .and never pay back

[@lindawaweru74]

After a friend did me dirty no financial favours to anyone other than my family .Friends with money issa no

[@habiibamalingha7434]

ooh the thing about sharing news is deep

[@marya_kenya1960]

The warfare one cracked me up eeeiy hizi standards jameni😂

[@brigidkashoi8847]

I no longer want friends who make it look like we are competing all the time and over everything.

[@tmipodcastke]

True! In 2024! No!

[@kaberaangel]

I no longer need clout chaser friends 💀 They’re exhausting and sis/bro where does your loyalty lie?

[@zenarashid8514]

The timing of this episode is insane. Thank you Queens🥰

[@Violet-ml3gr]

open minded person doesn't impose their biases, prejudices and traditions on other people. You let other people be themselves, enjoy what they enjoy, love what they love, in peace. For example I can hate rice, or my tradition doesn't allow me to eat rice, but I shouldn't expect other people to not eat rice. I won't offer rice eaters unsolicited advice on the badness of rice. I can let people around me and in my life love and enjoy their rice in peace.

[@tmipodcastke]

This is so true! A nice and simple explanation as well.

[@doricenafula5266]

Lydia stare on Murugi's best friend closemindness😂 24-2min I can't 😂

[@yvonnekavithe6247]

"you ignore the goodness of what you're seeing is what they're lacking"

[@J.G7088]

I no longer want friends who think small.

[@janewathiru5358]

I no longer want friends who lie about everything

[@Njitagwo_Shiro]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@peacefulliving2906]

Hi there! I believe TMI is reading my mind these days❤❤❤ Love you both❤❤❤❤

[@tmipodcastke]

We love you right back ❤

[@waugifarm3627]

Friends who complain about every gaddam thing. Victims in all situations. I can not. People should understand that life has seasons.

[@melissakiplagat9611]

I find 'open minded' people to be some of the most close minded people. I.e. they are incredibly closed off to views that they dont agree with and often demonize them and class them as 'close minded'. E.g. liberals in the US are very close minded and dont give space for conservative views. Conservatives are more open to your opinion they just disagree with your opinion. Just saying. 🤷‍♀️ im more reserved having friends who proclaim themselves to be open minded because i know they are more likely to demonize any opinions different from theirs snd i cant have real convos with them on issues we dont agree on. 🙄

[@janenjoroge4682]

@@melissakiplagat9611 I am so glad you said this,you read my mind

[@Njitagwo_Shiro]

Which conservative views do you feel liberals don't give space for, please?

[@melissakiplagat9611]

@@Njitagwo_Shiro pro life, different views on LGBTQ, conservative feminism vs liberal feminism (they are wildly different), trans hot topic issues, etc. etc.

[@Christinekiama]

Why do I feel like am a toxic friend like someone help me out on how to start a hard conversation with a friend when you feel offended n such coz I tend to keep quiet n keep my distance

[@alignedwpeace222]

I would say think deeply about it the whole issue of conversation, plan and go with clear vision and take a deep breath like Murugi does lol😭then initiate it, it'll only be uncomfortable for a sec and then you'll know the way forward. All the best hun✨

[@Christinekiama]

​@@alignedwpeace222 Thanks dear coz most people complain I go silent which has even affected my relationship coz I fear calling out people coz I feel like I hurt them . But I guess walking away still hurts them more wanna try to be more intentional

[@Njitagwo_Shiro]

Could be you are co-dependent? One symptom is fear of conflict. Did you grow up in a home with frequent chaos?

[@NjeriKims]

I no longer need friends who do not reciprocate my efforts

[@nancyuhuru5627]

Ati I'm no. 9 36 secs after posting! The demand is demanding 😂❤

[@tmipodcastke]

We see you😉!

[@aselangonzi7206]

I will talk about myself, I need to change my approach on how I express my emotions or feelings to my friends. I feel miscommunication creates misunderstandings, plus asking questions that help to understand my friend better.

[@tmipodcastke]

Yessss, self-awareness is key! ❤

[@lindawaweru74]

I no longer want friends who are users abusers and loyal to me .I'd rather be alone

[@rastagirl758]

I don't want friends who are too friendly with my man

[@patiencekarungi9446]

I no longer want to be friends with misogynists, and it's apologists.

[@AshaSaid-h6v]

it is not so much as "friends who don't call me out" but as said friend, can you take criticism and it not make things weird? also, there are friends who do things just to provoke and when you don't get provoked/ not call it out refer to you as problematic non-confrontational. 🤐

[@maurinemwangi430]

Innit ❤❤❤

[@interiordesign2023]

In that topic , I have a friend who I once invited to my mother in law ruracio... We talked on the phone and I shared what I was planning to wear tell me why on the day of ruracio she came with the same dress 😂😂uui and then since she was more monied then even better weeh, and then come to graduation I wore a white suit tell me why on her graduation a year later same same white suit . Everytime I suggest to her a screenshot of a dress to buy she buys .. tell me guys am I overreacting feeling she ain't a good friend 😂😂

[@edithwendo622]

Next it shall be your man 😂😂

[@tmipodcastke]

@@interiordesign2023 She's really not 😂

[@rosiekarosie8760]

@@edithwendo622iykyn

[@interiordesign2023]

😂😂😂uui ​@@edithwendo622

[@interiordesign2023]

​@@tmipodcastkeI better start exiting 😢😂😂

[@kusheytifftiffany8682]

Therapy 💯