I ran a $5k D&D game (and had a panic attack 😰)

[@OGNoNameNobody]

For anyone wondering, here it is; Ginny's IRL character sheet stats - STR: (dumped) DEX: (dumped) CON: (dumped) INT: (dumped) WIS: (dumped) CHA: 37 Gear: sword(proficent) Artisan's Toolkit(proficent) Disguise Kit(Expertise)

[@MrGranten]

I don't know, all that research makes me think INT must at least be decent.

[@swilllow]

came to the comments just for this- thank you hahaha

[@Elohist2009]

Target comment found! Glad I wasn’t the only one keeping score😂

[@AegixDrakan]

Yeah, this all checks out. XD

[@MasterChill]

BRILLIANT.

[@Nihilogos]

This was an amazingly fun game, and I can't say enough how much Ginny's playing of the various NPCs added to the experience. I didn't regret a penny spent on it, getting her as a DM. However stressed she may have been behind the scenes she was an absolute pro running the game. It's so cool to see this as an actual published adventure now!

[@zxyatiywariii8]

It looks like a wonderful game! 😃❤️ Wish I’d been there, and wow you did an amazing job setting this up and I can't imagine how stressful that would be, but here's a hug 🤗

[@Everythingwillsurelybealright]

The whole “This is not for me - anyway I agreed to do it a second time” is such an extremely relatable anxiety experience. I’m glad you can look back more fondly on it now!

[@misterbrady100]

She had to do it a second time to know for sure.

[@JohnRNewAccountNumber3]

You're joking right?

[@Deru0602]

A Captain Holt patron sounds amazing. "Why aren't you reaping souls? I specifically asked everyone to reap souls"

[@lukedavis307]

Gosh I want him to have a rival demon based on wunch

[@SecretAgent-fd7qo]

B99 FANS???? IN THE WILD????

[@angelaraiel]

@@SecretAgent-fd7qo "B99 Fans in the Wild" Title of your sex tape

[@justjoe7678]

YOINK.

[@togetherbewell]

Going from DMing for around a year to doing something this huge would send me SPIRALING. Props to you for following through and making it something so special for everyone who attended!

[@GinnyDi]

I'm just so glad they had a good time! I don't think you ever get used to the idea of DMing a game with *that* high of stakes... but my inexperience certainly didn't HELP 😂

[@togetherbewell]

@@GinnyDi I am so glad it worked out how it did! And as a new and incredibly anxious D&D player (who got into it by somehow ending up DMing for my group of friends), this story also is super encouraging. I love how your videos remind us to keep in mind that D&D is, at the end of the day, just a game, and that we should be having fun with it! I'm joining my first actual D&D group with a bunch of strangers in a few weeks and your videos have helped me not just prep for that, but get excited for it and not let nerves get in the way of enjoying the experience. So thank you again! And congrats on your publishing your adventure! 🎉⚔

[@R3nagadeL3roy]

I ran the game for my FAMILY! I was a wreck! In front of people I grew up with. You are a hero!

[@DM-H_og]

I would think it would cause any DM with that little experience into a death spiral lol... The fact that she went is amazing to me.

[@Ferrets1]

Do you ever do online games for DND ​@@GinnyDi

[@ArcaneAnthems]

DMing 8 hours A DAY for strangers is absolutely not for everyone. You can be an INCREDIBLE DM and this still not be for you. Also as someone with diagnosed Panic Disorder… FUCK panic attacks. Such a vulnerable and relatable video!

[@GinnyDi]

YES exactly - after my second time, I realized that I am just not the right person for this kind of event! Especially hearing other DMs talk about their experiences, which felt so vastly different from mine. And that's okay! I tried it, I tried it again to make sure, and now I know!

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@GinnyDi It's good to know your limits and preferences 👍.

[@nickatwork]

I had a GM run a $80 game and they just gave us a bunch of AI art cutouts and a dimly lit room where the gameplay boiled down to the GM saying "it's like a movie. imagine it like a movie" and then played by themselves while we watched so I can't imagine anything much worse than that.

[@ellewoodford262]

oh god wtf

[@thomasdalton1508]

So you paid $80 to watch a one man play of someone playing solo D&D? If the one man was Matt Mercer, I can see that being worth it...

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

Yuck! I hope you got a refund for that garbage experience!

[@ROD2o]

Wow. I need to up my prices. I keep stopping myself from doing that thinking what I do is the normal, but then keep hearing that sort of stuff from my players about other pro DMs who are really lacking in several areas

[@HamiltonIsLife]

Oh ❤

[@Pupcan]

What unexpectedly caught my ear was when you said that the bard's request for the final battle was for the DM to wreck the party. That sounds very, very freeing. With my usual D&D friends, there's often an unspoken rule that combat has to be nerfed because we're all already so stressed out from RL. Having players explicitly state that they want their DM to do the best job possible at trying to wipe out the party? That sounds amazingly satisfying! Thank you for posting this video!

[@4saken404]

I mean it's the 3rd day of a 3 day event. The campaign is ending no matter what. No reason to leave the kiddie gloves on. Might as well go full ham!

[@CompleteNewbie]

As a player, I quietly let the DM know that if they want to kill someone dramatically, I'm up for it. :)

[@tomtom7955]

@@CompleteNewbie If character death isnt a real possibility the game is boring to me and i let the dms know this.

[@CompleteNewbie]

@@tomtom7955 As a DM I am with you - I don't see how it's nearly as fun if you don't think your character could die. I've not seen a player yet who wouldn't accept a character death... but I think I might be willing to accept them in a game. It takes all sorts. It's tricky, but it could be done.

[@kenamelio4596]

This is always a table by table determination. When DMing people I don't know, I always have an "easy" and "impossible" variant of the combat ready based on what the players seem to enjoy. My own preference is to throw impossible challenges at my players and be stunned at the hacks they work out to achieve something they consider a win anyway. My last session, this was with witches in Barovia (no spoilers, but IYKYK), and at least one long time player told me it was his favorite ever D&D session. Everyone could have EASILY died, and if so I would have made that fun. The key as a DM is always to make things fun. If your players want to do cool things and smear the walls with villains, do that. If they want to wrestle with the complex motivations of the foe, and their inability to convince them to try things in a less harmful way, then do that. You say it would be "freeing", but for a DM who likes to run light combat that is creating work. This is why the best games are when a table and DM mesh, and find a vibe that makes everyone happy.

[@Lotiras92]

I have been a DM for almost two thirds of my life, and I would not have had the guts to even read the mail. I actually needed this video right now, i'm trying to unfocus my mind from negative thoughts that are giving me nausea and hyperventilation. Thank you so much.

[@GinnyDi]

Hope your day improves, friend 🙏

[@Lovelyladykiss]

Sending positive vibes

[@MauseDays]

there are far more table top channels now that are not negativity the negative "dm story" channels are basically considered in bad taste now and thats good. Channels like this one are getting their chance now. Those other channels where a form of fear and soft power. To keep new people from even trying, for fear of being placed on one of those youtube channels. It was really gross stuff

[@ComeAtMeBro2010]

@@MauseDays I'm unfamiliar can you share a link or explain examples with a short explanation of the phenomenon

[@kenamelio4596]

Seriously, man, if your players are having fun, you are doing a great job as a DM. And if players keep coming back, they are having fun. Whatever else you are dealing with right now, if you have been DMing 2/3 of your life that is joy you have created for others that likely would not have happened without you. Obviously having the right players is also huge, and something any DM appreciates, but in most cases without the person willing to DM that game would not be happening and that group might not even be hanging out together as often. DMs create social connection and joy, and that includes you. Bringing joy in to the world should absolutely be something you can look to as a distraction from what you are dealing with!

[@rickhenderson631]

I'm so glad I threw care, and finances, to the wind and attended your second, and final D&D in a Castle session! You were amazing, and the participating PC's were so fun to meet and roleplay with. Thank you for creating such a lifetime opportunity, and I will forever call you my DM! ;) Time to go prep for running my next game. I got a chuckle out of the continuous Dump Stats... 🤣

[@carlosacevedo6009]

I love that one of the lessons in this video is to dare to ask for help, and you'll get it. Good for D&D and good for life.

[@timnussey8702]

There are so many of us that would just like to talk and hear what other DMs go through with players and campaings

[@ortwyn6042]

I canceled a Pathfinder session last weekend after it already started so that I could cry on the floor instead. And that was a game I was running for two of my best friends *and my partner*. I can't imagine how much stress you were under!

[@richardschmidt8954]

I have also had the fortune of rolling a nat 20, the wizard casting Silvery Barbs, and then rolling another nat 20, knocking out an NPC who was precious to the party. It was truly one of the most thrilling and emotional encounters I’ve had the pleasure of DMing

[@RaethFennec]

In their hubris, they had but one silvery barbs, and not another to behind it!? :P lol

[@kenamelio4596]

@@RaethFennec , it uses up your reaction, so you can't do it again.

[@RaethFennec]

@@kenamelio4596 Multiple players can each use it once, though.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

I think I heard a DnD story about how Silvery Barbs ruined a campaign on another channel. So I was like, "Uh oh, things might get crazy now."

[@gamergang2686]

@@RaethFennecYes, but maybe the other players decided to not run bard?

[@Blakkrazor69]

I've been a mostly improv DM for decades now and I love it. I make few notes to remind myself of the overall "plan" as I let things flow very organically and adjust my story accordingly. I see my players' characters as the MC's and I do my best to provide a world where some direction is desired but their fun is my ultimate goal. My players hound me to run games so I must be doing something good. Much love to you and yours from one old bard.

[@Quill5516]

Love the running joke of *blank* is my dumb stat Jokes aside: your not alone! Worrying about things that feel irrational isn’t stupid it’s your feelings and it’s okay to take a breath

[@m_capsa7093]

Joke? That's the only explanation for her Charisma being so high.

[@joeracer302]

She said, “dump stat,” not “dumb stat.” As in, when rolling a character some stats you lower as much as possible because you don’t need it, so you dump it and put points elsewhere.

[@Quill5516]

@@joeracer302 ok

[@majortom7038]

@@m_capsa7093yeah, her charisma is sky high 👍

[@josephpilkus1127]

Ginny, this is such a fascinating peek behind the scenes. I've been playing D&D and DMing since 1982, having well-surpassed Gladwell's 10K hr rule years ago. I, too, would have had some reticence...like you, not about running a great adventure, but that fact that people paid those extraordinary prices for the event. As I'm retiring soon, I'm stunned by the new economy that would have paid DMs. If 14 y.o. me knew that people would pay to see a D&D event live or that paid DM gigs were a thing, I never, ever would've believed it.

[@Miss_Lexisaurus]

As someone who has had way more than her fair share of panic attacks, the fact you did that, TWICE, is incredible! I hope you're super proud of yourself because you absolutely should be.

[@HLR4th]

Wonderful video. My wife and I are signed up for the March/April 2025 D&D in a Castle to celebrate a milestone birthday of her’s. I’m glad your weekend was an outstanding success.

[@GinnyDi]

It's such a unique experience! I hope you both have a wonderful time 🥰

[@traxstaromega3467]

Bro in Colorado I'm impressed when something's more than 15 years old

[@GinnyDi]

You're just here because you're impressed I'm over 30, right? 😂

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

I mean, there were dinosaurs in Colorado back in the day.

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@GinnyDi I turn 24 next month, so does that make me middle aged in Colorado years?

[@Rando1481]

@@GinnyDiyour over 30 ?dang that’s old

[@Mara_Jade-Skywalker]

@@GinnyDi You're over 30? I thought you were like 22, max.

[@Atras126]

I didn't have a castle as a backdrop, or that kind of investment to earn; hell, I don't even suffer from anxiety; but my first time DMing for strangers was terrifying! I think we were 3 hours into a 4-hour block before I realized that everyone at the table was having fun. It made me feel so odd - I'm an introvert and not terribly good at connecting with people - but here I was, running a table of strangers, getting their characters to work together and playing off each other and the NPCs. The most impressive part was how much it improved my DMing for my friends. It sounds like you did a great job, and earned it! Thanks for the video.

[@jaredccain]

I can completely identify with this as a GM and I think it shines a bright light on the pressure that we face in our own head when we care for our players experience.

[@foldionepapyrus3441]

Indeed, I suspect if you are so self confident you don't have that at all you are going to be a pretty poor DM. Perhaps you would be the right person for the job in a very nitty gritty all combat RAW type game, when its more like a tabletop wargame than a TTRPG... And it certainly helps to be confidant enough in your abilities to run with the punches of players doing crazy unexpected things and just keep the game flowing at times, but actually reading the group to know when you should shut up and let the players get on with it etc is a skill. And one I don't think you'd actually really develop if you don't put pressure on yourself to give a good player experience.

[@eliontheinternet3298]

I feel like this is SUCH a great example of my biggest struggle when I share things about my anxiety with people. Sometimes it is “all in my head” and I’m stressing over something I would clearly be great at. But sometimes I’m stressing over a very real problem (like a comparative lack of experience or mismatch of my interests with an event) that the other person just doesn’t understand.

[@astercat49]

I about did an unironic spit-take when you said a seat at the table cost $2,850. And the fact that was only covering the cost of playing the game, not everything, is just wild.

[@FrostSpike]

I did a similar thing when Ginny said she got advice for the price of a few drinks - I live in England and those drinks don't come cheap now! 🤣

[@DivergentStyles]

Nah I think that pays for the castle stay. No way a game costs 5k

[@PoniesNSunshine]

People who have attended previously can get a small early bird discount but yeah the table+meals cost is accurate, you can look it up.

[@audreyb1269]

@@DivergentStyles Nope, like Ginny stated the castle stay is on top of the 2500k for the game. I looked into joining a session this year, and the price she presents is correct. I calculated that for a solo room, game and trip from France, the cost would have been at least 6000€.

[@Hakaze]

You pay for 3x8 hours work, so 2850 is about 119 $ pr hour. Not crazy high for skilled labour. When you think of how many hours of prepp that went into it, you end up paying only a handfull of dollars pr hour

[@l.p.5703]

I don’t play dnd but found this video so sweet and relatable. I recently went to public health conference and I tanked the whole event cause I let me anxiety get the best of me. I’m almost 40 and felt like a child (with every stat as a dump stat). This video gives me perspective and I appreciate my experience more because of it.

[@kingavenuemusic]

Conferences can be terrifying. The first national musicology conference I went to (I'd been to a bunch of state music ed conferences, no problem) was a hot mess. New city, huge fancy hotel, a bunch of hugely influential big-name scholars, and all this pressure to network? Yeah, how about I just go cry. The only thing that saved it was unexpectedly running into a friend and a couple former professors. I hope you have a better experience at the next conference!!

[@fatihumutkayasoken90]

str dex con wis dump stat so you have 30 charisma

[@GinnyDi]

I tried to think up a witty response... but unfortunately charisma is my dump stat 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Starfloofle]

​@@GinnyDi You can't fool me. You rolled incredibly high, your "dump stat" is at lowest a 12!

[@timarensdorf3630]

Yup that checks out

[@turoni314]

​@@GinnyDiuntrue

[@FuncleChuck]

@@GinnyDi😂 your CHA is so high you can even humbly joke about it. Amazing.

[@themirrorsamurai]

So what did I learn today? A good reminder that panic-inducing situations are a lot easier when you open up to people about them. But also that Ginny dumped everything except Intelligence and Charisma. That running joke about the dump stats was really good.

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

She dumped Intelligence first, I believe. But she put it all into Charisma!

[@cojec]

3:46 I think Intelligence is her second-highest score, but...

[@GinnyDi]

Honestly, if there's one takeaway from this, it's that a problem shared is a problem halved... unless that problem is the flu.

[@karazsteel]

​@@GinnyDi Wiser words have never been spoken.

[@davidsmart41]

@@GinnyDi And as a DM since the 70s, my takeaway from your answer is your Wisdom is definitely not a dump stat. Because you have a very high score. *_salute_*

[@NLaBruiser]

This journey was heartwarming to watch; thanks for opening up and sharing the good and especially the bad of all of it. I've been DMing for 20 years now and I myself wouldn't have the nerve to DM in a setting that came with that hefty of a price tag. The weight of expectation is one I'd use to smother myself (MORE...WEIGHT). That you pulled it off so well, based on comments here from some of your players, is a testament to your creativity, drive, and perseverance. Hopefully the next time is even more fun with a lot less stress!

[@gendissaray]

Silvery barbs has the same approach as legendary resistances, run their spell slots low before the boss.

[@azazelashbight9849]

Silvery barbs is legendary resistance that can still fail

[@nealenthenerd399]

Also depending on the caster, that leaves them open as they can’t cast shield until their next turn

[@user-wm3hu7lo1g]

The lack of Silvery Barbs is my main reason to start a new campaign using the 2024 PHB only!

[@stevenmike1878]

lol silvery barbs is the legendary resistance of the player, which i approve. they only have four 1st level spell slots which they can pick shield and absorb elements which are just as yoked if not more so. Rage can almost half anything with the right characters at 1st level. silvery barbs, shield, and absorb elements are some of the first level spells that are useful thru out the entire game campaign, so is mirror image, fly, ect. in those higher level games the DM should only allow the players to get short rests so they have to conserve their spells until they can finally find a long rest spot which the DM should have the players feel earned.

[@michaelbryant3640]

I maintain that Silvery Barbs would be less game-breaking if it was 2nd level like the other Strixhaven spells. The perfect mid-point between Shield and Counterspell.

[@ClaudiaDCD]

This vid is so real. I love how you marry your wins with your vulnerability. And your dump Stat joke is hilarious. I play that joke in my head all day now. If there was a Gamestop for D&D, I can imagine them playing this on the TV as an ad. Although this is also pretty personal and that's easier on your own channel, I do believe it entangles the personal with a charming and enticing story well enough to stand as a calling to your brand. Hope you get double the fans for it!

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

1. Just added the Alden Glen book link to my D&D wishlist. 2. That owl you held was gorgeous! 3. Ginny has all the dump stats apparently 😆. 4. I really am glad that the other DMs showed you kindness. 5. You know that a serious topic is being discussed if the sword doesn't show up!

[@happypillshelp]

Dude, you're an actual hero! Good work! I'm DM'ing my first campaign (we're actually almost done) but I big time struggle with making a fight difficult. I can't imagine the stress, but that's such a cool experience!

[@Shitennou3]

I also had my first panic attack during DnD and in a very public setting as well. I guess the things we love the most can also cut us the deepest. Props for getting through it and finding joy again ❤.

[@brettthomas2652]

"My strength has always been... Vibes." Now that's the universal creative person mood. 🤣

[@seanehle8323]

Ginny: STR is my dump stat Also Ginny: INT is my dump stat Also Ginny: CON is my dump stat Also Ginny: WIS is my dump stat Thank the gods she didn't dare say that CHA was her dump stat. Also Ginny: That's why I always carry a sword!

[@Teufeltusken]

She also claimed DEX was her dump stat when talking about the archery she did.

[@bmyers7078]

I was in a one shot where all characters got their point buy number from rolling a single d20. I rolled a 4. I can relate.

[@pragmaticplatypus]

Came to the comment section looking for this

[@nicolasmorera6248]

12:40 this sounds so strange to me, in my play group is common to have one knock down or more per combat. Do not be afraid Ginny, two reasons: support players will feel very fullfilled and second is the only way to create epic moments like pouring a healing potion into your healer's mouth (feels like nice teamwork) or your fighter giving the last hit to the foe with a mostly down party.

[@christopherfoley4071]

One of my favorite rounds of combat resulted in my whole party and the bbeg unconscious. The only conscious entities were a hoard of skeletons the cleric summoned which dealt the killing blow to the bbeg.

[@user-yh8ce7tg8l]

You have a natural knack for creativity and you have a clear understanding of the game's rules amongst beingly extremely organized and well thought out. These things combined, you seem to come up with some of the most imaginative and interesting playstyles I've ever seen a DM create, a immersive and fun story line is well within your ability to deliver something unique and awesome to the crowd. You may have only had 1 year DM experience, but I see life long D&D players with less experience than you display. You're a natural (20) DM.

[@chrisjohn85]

I love your content! Thank you! I started DM’ing with my friends during lockdown, and I completely understand the stress and worry for your players. If you just relax, don’t over prep, and have fun and laugh with them, they will always have a great time.

[@theunboundpixel]

Another great video! Anxiety sucks, but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone in dealing with it 😅

[@GinnyDi]

At least we can all succumb to our reptile brains together 🦎

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

*HUGS* As someone with minor generalized anxiety, I can confirm that it ain't fun.

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@GinnyDi YAY LIZARDS!!!

[@bertbergers9171]

First off all, i have seen some videos of you, and you have courage! You never let your anxiety win, you share with whomever is about that you are anxious and get a boost from them to get through the moment and find nice things/feelings beyond the anxiety. I applaud you for that. Last sunday i was supposed to DM a new portion of dragon heist waterdeep, but had managed to fill all my energy into other projects in the days prior, so i had prepared the dungeon we were in last time, but not the boss nor the situation nor the henchmen properly (or at all). I started explaining this to my party, and played without having much fun at all because i was constantly in the books looking for statblocks, behavioral clues, and trying to find ways to give my players story hooks to get on with it instead of waiting. I managed to throw a 16 damage on burning hands and having a TPK on level 1 so we red-conned it into 11 damage (3d6=10,5) which made the fight continue. I had no pleasure and constantly was worrying about my players fun (some one drawing half the time, and not interacting while the one guy was at least trying to be in character and making decisions with the party, she looked bored to death). So yes having fun is important! It's a game, i guess i could have made some decisions instead of being in the books that much. And i realise more and more that i don't need to be overprepped (like days in advance), but i shouldn't be underprepped as that is taking away from my own pleasure the most. My players appeared to have had an okay time.

[@pointyhatstudios]

You are braver than me I would have simply passed away that first night on the bathroom 😊💖

[@GinnyDi]

I think Lily would appreciate the company, honestly 🙏

[@RaethFennec]

Good thing you could just send your human familiar to do it for you! :P

[@joshuabraddy6264]

Such a great vid! The game improving by remembering to have fun is such powerful advice and something I have to remind myself of often too! Remembering that (most of the time) players at the table are wanting to have fun and aren't expecting some masterclass in DMing that references all the best practises from GMs over the decades, has really helped me enjoy my own CoS game too!

[@potatoslices4920]

I love your content so much. I really love how relatable you are and inspired me to be a more active part in my dnd group.

[@GinnyDi]

Thank you so much!! We anxious gamers gotta stick together 🤝

[@richardcraniu00]

I often feel similar anxiety when running games for "just my friends" and I have been playing for almost 30 years. Its the times I can forget that stress and live in the world I have created that make it all worthwhile. Incredible job, it sounds like your players loved the experience!

[@ronkong1505]

My wife and I have been watching you since we started DnD in 2022. Recently I started dm-ing and found your ADHD video so insightful. We watched this video and then anime con with critical role, and we got so emotional seeing all your recent success. We can’t buy your new book but I can comment and let you know we are rooting for you and appreciate your videos so much!! Congrats on all you have going for you, and even if you didn’t, we see your hard work. 🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@cassilynne]

Ginny, thank you for making this video. I have suffered from anxiety my whole life, and recently began DMing for a group of close friends and the anxiety for that alone sometimes can feel debilitating. It's refreshing and reassuring to hear that this is a common occurrence, especially for those of us with spicy brains. I am always inspired by your work, but now I am also humbled to hear a shared experience. Thank you for doing what you do. ♥

[@BenDeHart]

I really appreciate the honesty in this video, I think it's really empowering to show you powering through and doing something outside your comfort zone and killing it. I have a lot of experience DMing but I think even I would have incredible anxiety running a game people were paying 1000's for.

[@fammnak852]

Wow. Thank you for sharing all this experiences, Ginny. It truly takes a lot of guts to pull that job off. You must be so proud of yourself! Can’t wait to take part in D&D in a Castle someday!

[@Zai-kyu]

Another banger! Love your content Ginny. As a long time GM, I am always envious and extremely happy for anyone who has taken their abilities and come to the level of popularity you have. It's inspiring. To have the chance to play with so many people and do something like D&D in a Castle, or even to able to play along side people such as yourself, Brennan E. M., and others would be a genuine thrill for someone who has been playing/GMing as long as I have been. Never stop what you're doing, you are great at it!

[@SomeoneNamedJohn]

Imposter Syndrome is such a beast. Glad you persevered and pushed through and found a way to help keep it at bay or at least minimize it's affect on you to complete the session. Wish I could find the same thing to help me be less anxious with my photography.

[@garathon66]

I'm just such a big fan of your work and content, I love you attitude and this might be one of my fave vids you've made- GM life can be hard!! Well done on that event!

[@captainthorrek262]

Sorry to hear you had a panic attack, but at least you got to have fun later on... and hold an owl!

[@TylinaVespart]

Well done for going! I remember seeing the ads for it, and I couldn’t decide if it was something I’d want to do or not. One sticking point for me is I was fairly sure you don’t get to pick your players, so if someone didn’t gel with the rest of the party then I would have been stuck with the dynamic. Also the time constraints! Ooft. Btw I do love when you open up and talk about these things! Also adhd DM (potentially less anxiety but depends on the day 😆)

[@tsifirakiehl4250]

I understand why you were anxious; I would be TERRIFIED to do that! I can handle DMing a game with my friends for free, but people I may or may not know very well, spending big money… yikes! If I mess up DMing for my friends, it’s basically “oops, sorry about that. I’ll fix it next session,” and nobody’s wasted any money, and they’re my friends, so I know they’ll be cool about it. Messing up for paying customers would mean there might not even BE a next session, and they’d have wasted their money. I don’t think I could handle that kind of pressure.

[@GlenFinney]

Thanks for sharing and being so transparent! I bet there’s a lot of folks watching who will feel heartened that they’re not alone feeling anxiety and panic but can persevere and with a little help can achieve great things like you!😎

[@williambradford6575]

I run D&D and a dinner games professionally with my wife through her catering company. I find it helps to focus on the amount I'm being paid for my time rather than the total package. Honestly I wanted to go to D&D in a Castle as a paying customer and that's how I justified the cost. It's not just D&D. It's 24 hours of D&D, vacation in a castle, other entertainment and amazing food!

[@jenk8385]

Heard the other day, " One moment of putting yourself out there can change the rest of your life." I've subbed to your channel since you started (or close to it) cause I am also from CO and just love watching your content. I also ran the main stage for DPCC when you were there, and it was a pleasure meeting you.

[@KnightsofTuveHall]

Ginny, you joke about your "dump" stats, but you've continued to level up and impress for years now, and it's been a true joy to witness. I think you are brave to share your struggles! And I think you are wise to know your limits, and tough enough push against them and not let them hold you back!👏

[@justindavis2503]

Thanks so much for the wonderful video and for being so open about a tough (if ultimately successful) time. I just DM for my kids and their friends and I can still lock up with anxiety when planning or running. I feel a little better knowing that a Successful Professional can have worse problems and still succeed in a much more challenging environment. I agree that reaching out to people is often the right call when you're stuck in a hard place in your brain. Sadly, it's the thing I absolutely do NOT want to do in those situations. Good for you.

[@coaldon]

You have never been more relatable than when you're describing your anxiety. I would still be obsessing over all the awkward things I did and hoping everyone chose to take what I said how I meant it, and how I'm sure the context implied, but my brain realized could be construed as malevolent backhands.

[@ChaosArchmage]

One of the things ive always appreciated about this channel is that you are so honest about things, including those that are often invisible. As an ADHD-DM ive felt so many of these feelings just running public ganes at my local game store and for my friends. Hearing you talk about things like self doubt and having a hard time internalizing positive feedback really helps me gain perspective. Stuff like this inproves not just my DMing but my relationships outside the game. TL;DR: thanks for being honest and thanks for being you, it helps me and i know it helps others.

[@mastersora701]

Ah a DM who didn't know the power of the "Silvery Barbs" the best and worse spell of all time.

[@dungeonsanddioramas8068]

I had silvery barbs in my CoS game. But the DM did ask me to remove it a few sessions in. Didn’t bother me, I traded it out for Feather Fall…though I wish I had feather fall 1 session earlier lol our poor druid…

[@RaethFennec]

@@dungeonsanddioramas8068 Oh no! I lost a player to no one having feather fall... poor sorlock... they were only level 3! ToA, too, so no revival magic.

[@ThomasOtt70]

Thanks so much for sharing this! I'm glad that you powered through it all and figured out that having fun was the key part of DM'ing! I've learned that trusting your skills of storytelling and being in the present makes for an amazing campaign.

[@mrmuffins951]

My anxious ass would love to see more videos around similar topics

[@tessarose8430]

i just want to thank and commend you for being so vulnerable sharing your experience. i've been dealing with dnd anxiety lately and recently opened up to my table about it. i'm not even dming (though they want me to try, and it's causing me more stress), but playing a level 18 druid while also piloting a slightly lower level barbarian (because we lost players, the remaining two of us had to pick up npcs in combat) has been a lot to handle. i put so much pressure on myself all the time to be a good player and not let my friends down! but my friends reminded me that i need to give myself more credit and remember to have fun. it's literally just a game... why is that so hard to truly understand? i don’t know, but thank you for helping me feel less alone in this. you're a gem

[@yuffiefan7637]

As someone with severe social anxiety, i can imagine the fear and pressure! You are so damn brave to do that!

[@gayane_igityan]

I love you and your channel. I started playing in 2020 and your channel was very helpful on finding my confidence as a player and later as a DM, though I only ran a 4-part short campaign but I wrote it! And then spent the whole first session improving on the go as my players were very creative. Thanks for the video!

[@myleft9397]

Very glad you did not say Charisma was also your dump stat, and for being so open and honest in this video. DMing your first game with non-friends & players that paid thousands to be there...ballzy.

[@renaius]

As a long-time sufferer of severe panic attacks, I'm sorry that you had that experience. It's not until you actually reach that moment that you really understand the difference, and while I've often felt annoyed at people referring to minor anxiety as a full panic attack I never wish for anyone to find out.

[@DomIstKrieg]

You should visit Ireland. We have castles. We have cliffs. We have forests. We have villages and cottages in the middle of goddamn nowhere. We have fairies and banshees and all sorts of other...........stuff.

[@GinnyDi]

I would love to visit Ireland! In this particular case, I went where the event was 😅 but Ireland has been on my travel bucket list for a long time now!

[@DomIstKrieg]

@@GinnyDi Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. The event was in England, that is a very important point. Going to the correct venue. There is a town called Dunluce which has the ruins of a castle right by the sea. Literally perched on a cliff edge. Probably not great for D&D though. No roof. Three walls. Also you could fall into the Irish Sea, get hypothermia and then...........well, probably drown. Maybe not. It looks awesome though.

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@GinnyDi Fun story! One of my sister's friends went to a soccer match between Ireland and Scotland, and the Irish crowd had the chant "WE HATE ENGLAND MORE THAN YOU!!!" 😆.

[@DomIstKrieg]

@@sebastianevangelista4921 That happens sometimes. Irish crowds and Scottish crowds can meet as strangers and we will bond over our shared burning endless hatred of The English.

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@DomIstKrieg That sounds like an absolute blast!

[@patrickmaggio4244]

Anxiety, fear, and self doubt are real monsters. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[@XxAsmodeusTTVxX]

Im so glad you went through with this and took on something new, props to you love, and congrats ❤️🤍. Also, pro tip, if you ever have a panic attack again, rely on your senses (smell, touch, & sight) to help reground yourself, identify something you can smell (is it sweet? Bitter? Neutral?) something eyecatching you can see, and the texture of something you can feel, and DONT FORGET to take slow deep breaths ❤️🤍

[@JeffCPina]

Hey Ginny, Don't short change yourself. You are worth every penny of the excursion. I watch you all the time and your enthusiasm for the game is contagious and inspiring. When I heard about the event; your name was the most prominent for me. I was like, Gee, I could play D&D with Ginny! So Cool. I am sorry you were stressed out and your mental stability is most important. But if I had that kind of cash, I would have definitely gone to hang with you. Those guys were lucky. Kudos to you dude and keep it light and breezy.

[@hellothere2570]

Not banning silvery barbs is the fastest way to take irl psychic damage as a dm

[@Disti23]

Though it’s great when one of the bad guys Silvery Barbs their crit.

[@charlottesherlock]

holy crap ginny after only 1 year dming and you still did it, you're a star!!! i hope you're so proud of yourself!!! i still get nervous and anxious running my game for my BEST FRIENDS of ALL TIME and THERES ONLY 3 OF THEM and they didn't pay at all and no one else is watching??? But as someone who would love nothing more than to make a living off making dnd/rpg adventures, you are truly inspiring ginny!! and also from all your wisdom you share in EVERY video giving advice to dms/players -- there's no doubt in my mind you can do anything!!! i completely understand how awful a panic attack is, i get them once a while and it sucks. Take care!!!

[@andrewlewis2123]

Thanks for sharing! Capital A Anxiety or not, I’m sure every DM has grappled with the fear of making a game their group deserves - albeit not at such high stakes, but then again, it’s good to remind ourselves that at the end of the day, we’re just playing Dungeons & Dragons!

[@visbs88]

I’m DMing for strangers for the first time tonight and this video felt just so right to listen to ❤️ I send hugs because I know how bad a panic attack can get, and thank you for being a sincere, human and never stuck-up content creator. This hobby is based on empathy and we already put so much stress on ourselves without comparing to others. Kudos to you ❤

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

How did it go? I hope it went well!

[@visbs88]

@@sebastianevangelista4921 it actually went great! I went full-on silly, hyped up master and kept them engaged from start to finish, and I’m so proud of that. Thank you for your kind support!

[@Calebgoblin]

I'm the type of person that those who struggle with anxiety and confidence tend to instinctively dismiss as "you wouldn't get it" because I don't look or act that way, but I routinely have anxious downspirals for even my home games...the very thought of doing what you did is both incredibly exciting/envy-inducing for me and also Mortifyingly scary. You are so brave!!!

[@Dehlopesp]

Love your videos so much! I'm a new DM, running Curse of Strahd, and I'm excited and terrified. Seeing another woman DM being so awesome and talking about panic attacks makes me feels so validated. Keep being awesome and being the great DM and adviser you are! I miss the sword tho ❤

[@Reoh0z]

Classic D&D solution. "We resolved the problem by talking to each other like adults."

[@Overunderover]

TBH, some of the most important things I have taken from your videos come from when you open up about your struggles, talk about how you made mistakes, or show up not in perfect makeup and styles that I am super jealous of. Seeing you be a human like us and go through it and still have awesome advice is what I remember when I start panicking DMing.

[@nitemarestlk]

The experience sounds amazing and I'm glad you did it. The idea if spending 5k mininum for a 3 days vacation let alone a very structured one is out of the question though.

[@Psych_Lore]

Sorry you had to go through that and hope you’re doing better. I just came across your content and I’ve been hooked! As a therapist, I hope you get the help you need (hint hint practicing coping skills haha) and believe the bad ass that you are after that trial by fire!

[@librabys]

Ironically, I'd probably trust more a DM questionning themselve about being worthy, than a Dm assuming they are. It's just like when a friend says they don't feel they'll be a good parent, I tell them: '' Dude, actually bad parents never have these thoughts. You'll do great.''

[@tituslupus5454]

As a fellow mountain-dweller with anxiety, I've had moments breaking down even when it's just with three friends I know. Congratulations on being able to deliver a good experience for all your players. Price aside, that's what really makes tabletop games magical for so many of us. A great time with great people dedicating a few hours of our lives to each other making a dream as real as can be together. Also, good work going all in on Charisma for your only good stat. I can respect that.

[@traxstaromega3467]

Dude you are amazing!! That is awesome I cannot power through DM panic attacks, I used to be super good but I lost my confidence and started panicking for no reason everytime so I have just stopped DMing

[@GinnyDi]

This is so relatable 🙏 Sorry to hear that happened to you. Hope your love for dming comes back randomly too - until then, take care of yourself!

[@PrestoTheBestooooo]

I’m late but I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel better with your videos and making me feel better for playing Dnd alone I don’t have any friends 😢 but I’ve been enjoying playing alone it’s very immersive and fun so thanks 😊 a lot.

[@scythe0925]

I HAVE LITERALLY SLEPT IN THAT BED YOU JUMPED ON!

[@MichelleFreebird]

1000 years ago 👻

[@MichelleFreebird]

1000 years ago 👻

[@cameronlapp9306]

This is helpful right now! Just starting a new campaign after 5 year campaign and it's hard to ever feel prepared enough. Thanks for being so open about mental health & GMing!

[@terence7025]

Take away: never underestimate the Help Action (or get help). It can mean the difference between the adventure succeeding or failing.

[@boopsnoopdoop0119]

Im so sorry you had a panic attack . Ive went through them over the past year and it can be crippling . God bless and speed , you wonderful person

[@alli-gator-forest]

Lol just watched you in the Critical Role panel! Great work as always!

[@GinnyDi]

Awesome! Thank you!

[@davidparkes7741]

CR Panel with Ginny??

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@davidparkes7741 It's titled 'Anime NYC 2024 | Critical Role: Fireside Chat & Cast Q&A' if you want to check it out.

[@doorofnight87]

Wow, that is so a position that I would be a mess to put myself in, especially as someone with anxiety themselves (I sooo felt you when you said you felt like you were mostly composed or cortisol). I am struggling trying to promote my own work, because I hate to put myself out there and when someone asks me a questions about my books, I tend to become exceedingly stupid and inarticulate and struggle answering even simple questions about them). I really appreciate you sharing your experiences, I am an advocate of people being open and honest about their mental health struggles. It is so helpful for other people going through the same things to hear, and every time someone shares it help chip away at the stigma around mental health issues, so thank you!

[@Merlinstergandaldore]

And here I am fretting about running a game at a mini-convention where attendees have paid just $20 for the whole weekend! 😬

[@dungeonsanddioramas8068]

This almost made me cry. I have gotten ads for the dnd castle experience but I am counting pennies much too much to even dream about that. Maybe one day, but I am so happy to hear you managed to actually have a lot of fun at the end of it all! Honestly the DM always deserves to have just as much fun as the players!

[@stevemayne24]

I feel this in my core. Years ago I got to take part in a museum exhib based around gaming and I worte and ran a custom D&D adventure as part of hte exhibit over three days. Despite everything going way better than I could have imagined and my players having a blast, I was convinced that I was seconds away from someone asking me politely to leave so a real DM could come in and take my place. After everything was done, I was able to relax and look back on that weekend as one of my best experiences as a gamer.

[@johnmarcgreen]

Way to go! Awesome story and video; and I splurged for the print + PDF version of your module. Totally my jam with a folk horror village quest. Thanks for making it available to the public

[@rainstorm-14]

Wow Ginny... you're AMAZING!

[@GinnyDi]

I didn't FEEL amazing, but I'm glad it ended up being a great game 🥰

[@sebastianevangelista4921]

@@GinnyDi How everyone with anxiety feels after a big event.

[@AJBernard]

Thank you for this amazing video. I have been GMing almost as long as you've been alive, and I suffer from the same sort of anxiety / impostor syndrome. I remember all the amazing GMs I've played under for so many years and realize how horribly I measure up against them. The only consolation is that my players always come back for more, so maybe I'm doing something right. I picked up The Corruption of Alder Glen, and will be converting it to a Pathfinder 2e module soon. =) Thank you, Ginny!

[@gendissaray]

To hopefully reduce some pressure, you don't have to put on a game worth that full value since most comes from the experience itself.

[@Slurgical_3D_Terrain_Channel]

This is an amazing experience. Thank you for sharing this, I never been an anxious individual, but I have often been running a campaign. Never I understood why and probably never do. I do love running a campaign. It is odd. So well done, quite an accomplishment to be proud of.