I Ranked the Dumbest Superpowers People Can Think Of

We went to Reddit and found some of the dumbest superpowers people can think of. This video shows my honest reactions and thoughts to what these Reddit posts have cooked up.

[@clanof1144]

the 1000 dollars but EVERYONE in 500 yards shits their pants, includes you dawg...you are within 500 yards of yourself

[@daruyami]

That's basically instant constipation relief which is also an S tier superpower. Also... what if you're just not wearing pants? Can you shit your pants if you're not wearing any?

[@HaradaWasInnocent]

Or whenever you go to the bathroom just snap

[@omegafish69]

​@@daruyami It goes flying to your nearest set of pants

[@aidanrmorphis5857]

Thats easy, anytime you snap you get a thousand dollars AND a free meal!

[@danielhuneke5862]

​@@daruyami You still have to flush every time you your fingers to keep from clogging the toilet. That would be hell on the water bill.

[@anuspropeller3668]

Everyone liking you means that you can easily become the president, the most popular youtuber, an international public figure, etc. Certainly not 100% downsides.

[@algorithmannihilator9444]

Definitely sounds like all down sides to me

[@SuperHGB]

Just ask everyone for $1

[@3RR0RNULL]

No thanks, I’d rather die than not have any love.

[@IcePhoenixMusician]

The crazy thing about the power is that it implies it’s permanent and unchanging. That means if you’re immoral, you could basically do whatever you want with very little consequences since everyone likes you, even those you hurt, abuse, manipulate, or otherwise take advantage of.

[@DEMEMZEA]

9:40 it would be immensly useful for trips. Just teleport yourself with your bag to an unused room halfway across the world, and if there are clothes on the bag, just put them on there.

[@admthrawnuru]

I came up with my favroite in college. We were discussing exactly this at dinner and someone asked for some cole slaw, so I created a guy who's only piwer was if he asked someone for cole slaw, they had to drop what they were doing and get him some. Pretty powerful actually, but naturally this guy doesn't like Cole slaw

[@iamgrantowen]

E tier.

[@SaboTheFish]

​@iamgrantowen nah that's gotta be at least c tier

[@Supe4]

@@iamgrantowen Imagine you are getting mugged, you can ask the mugger to get coleslaw and you are free. It essentially allows you to send a person away from you.

[@trollsansofficial]

​@Supe4 that doesn't happen often BUT i think you can use this to get away with any crime

[@kitebrethren]

You can ask someone to get some coleslaw and then hide from them, forcing them to spend the rest of their life trying to find you to give you coleslaw.

[@fgvcosmic6752]

2:40 Consider that 200 bottles will have you _double_ your jump height. Also consider that the type and size of the bottle was not considered. With that kind of power, you invest in an edible bottle company that sells miniature ketchup bottles.

[@iamgrantowen]

Wow big brain moves

[@NStripleseven]

Even better if it’s multiplicative and not additive, though. Only takes 138 bottles then, and another 138 brings you to 4x, another 138 for 8x, eventually you’ve consumed 1380 and your jump height is 1024x its original amount.

[@Gorilamúsico]

​@@NStriplesevenI gotta eat some Ketchup and jump horizontaly to Australia real quick.

[@nikotheoneshot]

ohhh dude it's like a gusher but instead it's bottle shaped and has ketchup inside of it jsyk I f_ing hate that but also big props for creativity

[@Supe4]

​@@NStripleseven It says stackable so it is probably only simple intrest instead of compound intrest

[@hbudson1248]

9:33 you could just hold clothes and teleport into a bathroom stall of wherever you're teleporting to. It's BASICALLY normal teleportation!

[@diffdimgamerseven9986]

Someone:you can freeze thyme Dio, with frozen thyme:muda muda muda muda muda mudaaaaaa!

[@mindofthelion712]

6:50 fun fact! Ancient Japanese ninja would use a technique that vaguely resembles the Naruto run, but it didn't make them faster; it was supposed to enhance their stamina

[@thevalarauka101]

"everyone likes you but nobody loves you" jokes on you, I've already got that one

[@ch87-z3w]

you can make everyone within a 500 meter radius vomit and you get 25 cents for every person that ate atleast 3 carrots in the past 5 days

[@skeepodoop5197]

Okay, Thyme is a solid, so it can't be frozen... So this seems to imply that you can freeze the location of thyme, like an immovable rod, or Kraftwerk from Jojo. As an offensive ability, that is actually absurd if you think about it. Like, keep in mind: Thyme is a bunch of really small grains. If you throw that into the air and freeze it: congrats! You just created a horrifying death trap, since they are a ton of extremely small points, meaning they deliver an absurd amount of force if something runs into it. You put that on a highway and you're instantly killing the first person to drive through it. Not to mention the utility: Carry around a few bottles of thyme and you got an instant ladder wherever you go.

[@RadioactiveBluePlatypus]

Alternatively the thyme could just get really cold. Now that's an awesome power right there.

[@NStripleseven]

@@RadioactiveBluePlatypusyeah it’s just freeze as in the effect it would have if you put thyme in the freezer for like an hour

[@RadioactiveBluePlatypus]

@NStripleseven you could put it in a glass of water and freeze the thyme to get cold water, really useful in the summer.

[@NStripleseven]

@@RadioactiveBluePlatypus thyme-flavoured ice cubes

[@aahhhhhhhhhhhhh]

No matter what this power does. It breaks the laws of physics. So if someone asked what my powers are i'd say I can erase energy from the universe and only perform it on thyme when asked to prove it

[@cozyvrc]

2:36 but think, with enough ketchup you can jump as high as a skyscraper

[@iamgrantowen]

At what cost sir

[@cozyvrc]

@ I may be understanding physics wrong but if you just really high and then land on the skyscraper you could survive maybe??

[@ニミウ]

You can already jump higher than a skyscraper... Because a skyscraper can't jump!

[@TitleDotJpeg]

@@cozyvrcI’m pretty sure you would live but your legs would basically turn to paste

[@cozyvrc]

@@ニミウ I love you

[@impax2634]

Freezing thyme can actually be useful, as thyme is a matter and can exchange heat energy with another matter. I mean, if you need to cool something down - you can throw thyme at it and use your power. "Immortality but birds" can be fixed with a simple umbrella. Yes, you'll have to always carry umbrella everywhere you go, but is it too much cost for prolonged lifespan?

[@ModdedMatt-E3]

Immortality, that can end whenever you want is goated, I personally would never end it but I know most people would because they think that Immortality is bad. but it has no downsides, so I don't understand why, but they do

[@impax2634]

@ModdedMatt-E3 Well, immortal future you would probably find reasons you don't think of. But i agree, it's better to have a choice.

[@DEMEMZEA]

3:05 just start manufacturing mini eatable bottles, and you'll be the flash in like a year or smth

[@pizzamccheeseburger5527]

The power is jumping higher not running faster

[@DEMEMZEA]

@@pizzamccheeseburger5527 just angle yourself in a certain way, and since to jump x% higher you need to be fater, you'll be very fast

[@jasonpatterson8091]

"Everybody likes you but nobody loves you." Hey, I have a superpower! Oh wait, nobody likes me either.

[@iamgrantowen]

I like you, Jason. Have a good day 🫡

[@AngelShrimpChips]

This comment made me like you Jason. Good job 👍

[@atti_odyssey]

i like you jason

[@ModdedMatt-E3]

I don't want to be liked but I don't really seem to have a choice😢 anyways, I like you to Jason

[@wojtekpolska1013]

9:25 That's actually S tier tbh. you could travel around the world for free, and i dont think it would be that hard to rent a hotel room and pay someone to bring you clothes. if you owned multiple houses you could just easily teleport between them. if you're bored you could teleport to a nude beach on another side of the planet where it's the middle of the summer and go for a swim. the biggest issue would be that if you teleport someone you wont have your wallet and phone so youd have trouble buying stuff (i'd if "butt naked" means that you only dont have clothes, or that you dont teleport anything but yourself)

[@TigerKingTundra]

7:45 This one is really bad for me because I have a bird but it is pretty good overall because you don’t have to live forever.

[@posity9215]

8:43 that could possibly be a neat party trick, or be used to identify lost dogs (you'd need to be very careful so it doesn't sound like you stole the dog to begin with, though)

[@FunkyGoofyGoober]

You could use the ability of figuring out the dogs name to return missing dogs to their owners easily.

[@UndertaleFan32]

2:25 Sans is gonna be jumping to the moon with that power

[@SwagRum76_]

here's mine: the ability to summon brownies out of thin air, anywhere, anytime

[@PauxloE]

I guess some of the powers work better for villains than heroes. Might be worth to have two separate lists.

[@iamgrantowen]

Anti-hero lore

[@implozia-rewind]

Thank you editor for leaving the Naruto bloopers in so I can deny this guy a sub ironically, how do you actually mispronounce Naturo maaaan?!

[@iamgrantowen]

Denied sub might be a micro aggression in 2025

[@MaxwellCatAlphonk]

My idea: You can swap bodies (plus locations) with your immortal snail BUT you have an immortal snail I think you know what an immortal snail is, otherwise just search one up but don't buy one pleasee

[@toby818]

0:53 you are within 500 yards of

[@dasoftieguy]

Cranking them dollars on the bathroom

[@pokelily_7799]

For the high jump one, going off of the "contents of the ketchup bottle" you'd probably be amazing at high jump after a couple bottles. You'd probably be able to go to an Olympic track team every 4 years and never lose a high jump competition.

[@anuspropeller3668]

it's more than just a couple, 0.5% would be a x1.005 increase every time, it would take about 88 bottles of ketchup to get from the average male vertical jump (~18 inches) to the average nba vertical jump (~28 inches). It's still doable and certainly not useless, especially since you can just buy really small bottles of ketchup.

[@pokelily_7799]

@@anuspropeller3668 True, though remember since this is multiplicative the higher your jump height gets the more each bottle does

[@aykarain]

2:19 its pretty obviously worse than that for me, but i'd still put it above the lowest tier cos its funny

[@DEMEMZEA]

3:40 oh, so nothing changes...

[@DEMEMZEA]

Jk, my family loves me

[@frosty7832]

first one was actually A tier or more, if you cover something in thyme then you can freeze the thyme to make the object float in mid air, because something is frozen in time it would have ZERO give in response to anything, so if someone ran towards a single flake that you froze in the air, it would almost certainly pierce their body, and mind you, it doesn't stop being frozen once its pierced someone, it still has to get out of them. (you could also throw a cloud of powdered thyme to trap or seriously maim someone, don't even get me started if they ate some thyme recently. literally if you were going at 80 miles an hour down a highway and let go of a handful of thyme that dispersed a little before you froze it, the car behind you is going to be unable to drive and the driver is most certainly dead. if you covered board in thyme with glue or something or just rapped it around a lot, then you have a shield that can stop anything, a car, bullets (assuming it hits and you REALLY coated the board in a LOT of powdered thyme so shrapnel doesn't get through to hit you) you could even make a suit out of thyme and freeze the boots of it in alternating patterns to just walk up an invisible staircase, hell if you used two platforms that are tied together and fully covered in thyme then you could freeze one, climb up, pull the other one up by the string and keep alternating to achieve the same thing. so: invisible needles of death, levitating objects, immovable shield, ability to walk on air or climb anything, and this is just off the top of my head!

[@frosty7832]

YOU PUT THE GOD DAM LICKING ONE IN A TIER? YOUR GOING TO JAIL DAWG

[@frosty7832]

9:30 i hope you realize that if someone licked you with the previous power it really seems like the fact you would rob a bank the second you got the chance wouldn't even show up as your most radical belief with how casually you said that. also if you mentioned jumper then surely you realize how bad of an idea it is???? just like have someone you know put your size clothing in a bathroom and then you teleport to there so you can visit them or go to wherever you wanted to go, also the skill doesn't actually say you cant take things with you, just that you have to be fully naked, you might literally be able to take a suitcase in one hand and your clothes in your other hand and teleport and put them on in whatever bathroom you went to.

[@frosty7832]

god you could make so much money by working with space programs or just some scientists and freezing the internal coating of a lot of thyme on board a Geostationary orbit or especially a lag range orbit (after they have done there very best to get the craft to moving as slow as possible and reinforcing the thing from the inside likely) perhaps even a space base.....or elevator..? lot of effort but if its perfectly frozen then i guess you technically could.

[@PauxloE]

I don't see "freeze thyme" as "lock the thyme in place", it just will be frozen (i.e. cold).

[@iamgrantowen]

Wow this is breakdown and thought process is actually God tier and only a hero would put in the work to write this out.

[@MartinoBalino]

Has anyone told you that you look like Ken Marino? Also, you're super chill, fell in love with your channel right after watching this video Also, with the teleportation one (butt naked), you can't rob a bank because being butt naked comes with fingerprints xD

[@iamgrantowen]

Ken Marino is actually a stud. So this is an overall W comment. Appreciate you, dawg.

[@IcePhoenixMusician]

0:52 Everyone obviously includes yourself though.

[@IcePhoenixMusician]

That being said, live on your own, and sit on a toilet snapping your fingers, and you can rack up a lot of money.

[@doinic09]

Just sit on the toilet

[@abxy_real_official_since2020]

I'd want to go faster running like Naruto. Also, Naruto started doing his signature run in 1998, and Sonic began running that way in 1993 with the release of Sonic CD.

[@Elevatorceptor]

And super sonic is a reference to super saiyan. Yeah sonic is an anime nerd

[@dasoftieguy]

5:08 Hawkeye is not "great" at archery He is literally perfect, as in, he has never failed a singular untouched arrow (as far as mcu goes) You could have the villain as far as "barely in sight" and Hawkeye would headshot it first try

[@C-aFilms]

As an aroace person, i see this as an absolute win! 3:22

[@iamgrantowen]

What is an aroace person? I can't google.

[@catloverplayz3268]

​@@iamgrantowenthey're aromantic and asexual so they don't really have crushes

[@chessguy047-sj3dy]

as an aroace person I totally agree

[@nullnominal]

as an aroace person I also see this as a win

[@pearlmelodic]

it all depends for me on whether or not love also applies to famillial and friendship love. if it doesn’t im in, if it does then im not sure

[@nokoh]

Being really good at archery would be great, you could go to the Olympics at least

[@GRKTheGreat]

Hey, power 2 would help with constipation, never said you needed to wear GOOD pants, or pants with a hole in the back :)

[@thorin1045]

i understand the cool superpower, but why the lame get 1k usd side effect?

[@KeenanFr]

2:24 honestly I am a ketchup fan to the point I would drink the stuff by itself so this is just a W

[@shrekatemyonions]

Halfway through the video and the only powers ranked high are shit-related. I’m onto you, buster brown.

[@iamgrantowen]

I eat poop you've got me 😳

[@thorin1045]

the shit into others pants depends on how specific you have to be in the targeting. like can i say: it goes to he person who committed x crime and follow the stench? since at that point it is a near perfect police (s)tool.

[@iamgrantowen]

Or I could just continually make them poo so that police can just check bathrooms. It's a great immobilizer.

[@xZildjain]

This is the type of podcast I could excel on. 😅

[@atti_odyssey]

this video was super entertaining, ur so underrated

[@iamgrantowen]

This honestly meant the world. Thanks 🫡

[@atti_odyssey]

@ np!!

[@thorin1045]

for the dogs name: only if we learn their actual name, not that stupid shit hoomans give them. no way to write it down, as mostly likely it is a smell based description we simply lack the ability to even understand.

[@small.clover]

The post-heil Elon glazing is wild 💀

[@iamgrantowen]

Let me lick him and I'll replace him. I promise to be anti-heil.

[@small.clover]

@@iamgrantowen It's just that there were so many other people you could've chosen. Lick Neil Tyson

[@thorin1045]

for the ketchup, even with the entire bottle, nothing stopping you to make a nice bottle shaped cookie filled with a tiny amount of ketchup, so it is basically a snack for half a percent extra height in jump. will start slow, but after a few dozen, we getting results, and when we reach hundreds of bottles, it is a proper superpower.

[@candy6852]

Important to know if it stacks additively or multiplicative

[@thorin1045]

@@candy6852 yep, not irrelevant, but even additive would mean soon you can jump higher than an human ever.

[@adrianblake8876]

​@@candy6852 They said it's a 0.5% increase. So everytime you consume a ketchup bottle, you jump 0.5% higher than previously. BTW, this is impractical, as it means you need to consume 139 ketchup bottles to jump twice as high as you originally did...

[@candy6852]

@@adrianblake8876 1.005^x=10 x=462. Works out to a 4-7 meter jump depending on training. Lots of investment. 1800ish bottles and you can get to skydiving height without a plane. Now the interesting question is. What about jumping with assistance like a pogo stick or trampoline? Does the multiplier still apply?

[@adrianblake8876]

@@candy6852 I think eating that much ketchup is bad for your health. Ketchup has about 100cal/100g, and the daily consumption of a healthy diet consists of 2000cal, and well, you must eat other stuff too...

[@SuprSBG]

0:53 go to a trump rally or smthn and start snapping

[@drdca8263]

5:56 : but, Naruto running, does kinda force you to run faster in order to not fall over, doesn’t it? Wait, but then why don’t professional athletes run like that, Or, do they? Sorta? I guess they just exaggerate it a lot in Naruto, and the imitation of what is done in Naruto isn’t as “helpful” as the thing Naruto is exaggerating, because like, for leaning that far forwards to make sense to make sense one would have to like, actually be capable of going fast enough to correspond to that tilt, and so instead people imitating it are just compensating for the tilt by other means, rather than with the force of the ground pushing them forward, and so it is less effective? Or maybe there’s another aspect to Naruto run that I’m not thinking of other than leaning forward?

[@nikotheoneshot]

the lighting and backdrop looks so professional, I was honestly surprised to look and see that you don't have a huge following just yet.

[@SwagRum76_]

if you licked Elon Musk, you would actually lose knowledge

[@clanof1144]

as a trump supporter, watching someone else shit his pants would be fuckin hilarious. he would be so confused

[@tentative_flora2690]

I would totally take the gain knowlege from others one. Theres so much I already know and to instantly check myself aginst others understanding. Thats amazing. And... I have yet to admit the catgirl allegations. They are love licks I swear.

[@svkona]

just say autistic please, none (or at least very few) of us like being referred to as "acoustic" or "having a little 'tism"

[@iamgrantowen]

But there are others that like acknowledging that there is a spectrum and they are somewhere on it without using the term as a core part of their identity ❤️

[@rubixtheslime]

​@@iamgrantowen​ in that case you could just say "on the spectrum". "acoustic" makes it sound like being autistic is some terrible disease that should never be spoken of btw for the pronunciation, japanese generally stresses the first syllable, so NAruto. but if you say naRUto it doesn't change meaning, it just makes you sound like you speak english as your first language

[@DEMEMZEA]

6:30 yeah, but it's not "you absorbe", is "you can absorbe", so it's selective

[@akitteninabowl8872]

Obligatory comment to boost this video on the algorhitm

[@iamgrantowen]

You, my friend, are a first world hero

[@nuninuni15]

Why do we exist

[@iamgrantowen]

Too deep for KZbin brain

[@curtislee4987]

How about Everybody loves you, but nobody wants you

[@iamgrantowen]

That genuinely sounds worse hahaha

[@curtislee4987]

Are you Italian?

[@iamgrantowen]

No this is patrick

[@thegogglesfam352]

W video, what the hell?

[@iamgrantowen]

I'm full of surprises

[@marshalltucker9690]

this was funny, some ai pics of the power would have been cool maybe just for the lolz

[@filmorawatermarkmoment8750]

make it urself then we dont need any more ai slop on the internet

[@iamgrantowen]

Great callout Marshall. Will include in next vid 🫡

[@marshalltucker9690]

@ meow