I re-wrote the ASTER scene from "High Guardian Spice" because I had to.

I also moved their teamwork adventure to a low level slime cave because making them navigate a hedge maze with a compass gave me heartburn... Everyone knows the only way to navigate a hedge maze is to hug the right wall and hope for the best. It’s basic rocket surgery.

[@xoxojustno6971]

I loved that the added comedy is ACTUAL comedy

[@---pj1xz]

No one : Aster : Best i can do is C H A R T

[@marxvargas7697]

Giga Chart vs. the whole series

[@ilonachan]

The best joke of High Guardian Spice is not even in the show

[@Slitheringpeanut]

@@ilonachan No, I think the best joke IS the show. To actually think it has fans is funny.

[@twist_ending7545]

@@Slitheringpeanut said fans only watch it to make fun of it

[@cupio-stardust]

Rosemary is more likeable in this animatic than the actual show, also I like how Aster has more personality.

[@frop_8750]

Yeah, even just by this little interaction one can guess the things he heard most of his life is something like "You are the man here, you must protect them! No excuses" (even if the excuse is he's still a childe and didn't had enough strength to protect even himself) or "If something happens to them it's only your fault, you must have watched them". I can relate to this as an elder sibling

[@Blackan]

Well what did you expect from Kate leth?

[@l.andrem.s.8144]

I think you ment "now Aster has A personality"

[@gaming1zanagi-1999.]

@@frop_8750 exactly. It make us actually sympathise to Aster to some degree cause if he did raised that way when he is growing up he had the mindset of keeping every girls safe regardless of what due to them being "defenseless" thus it drive him to the way where he sounded patronising when in reality he is just raised to make everything his responsibility.

[@cupio-stardust]

@@Blackan you’re right lol.

[@rinyukiohara8178]

I really like this, he’s not being an asshole for the sake of it, he’s being over protective because that’s what he’s been taught. He’s used to his sisters relying on him to protect them so automatically thinks Rose is the same. Then he’s told she’s different and he’s willing to listen. Character growth, love it.

[@Tamaki742]

And there are people like that in real life too, because they're the eldest out of their siblings! That's what makes this even better.

[@zachscarbrough2727]

I also like the fact she didn't automatically hate the guy for defending her, and for thinking that men are stronger than women. She stood up and calmly defended herself, while also finding a compromise and working with him. I don't think I've ever seen this, or I have but it's been a really LONG time since I've seen something like this.

[@dizzyheads]

Learning from mistakes rather than treating the person poorly is sooo much better

[@anhilliator1]

I actually saw a comment on this video that could really help flesh out his character some more - he has three sisters. The catch - there used to be four. And this is why he's so overprotective.

[@BryonYoungblood]

It reminds me of Sokka early on in _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ and how super protective he felt guys had to be for women, even as he knew Katara could take care of herself, but he grew into being more mature.

[@imkiii]

This actually could’ve opened him up to be a good character. He could’ve genuinely just been worried for her safety since he’s so use to his sisters depending on him to the point he’s flustered at seeing that another girl can actually protect herself. Would’ve made it interesting to see him respect the girls and the girls respect him too…but nooooo “all men must die” because “men bad”

[@kittyfoxcat7802]

Plus could have opened up for more back story like making him where he was the only guy in the house (where his father could have left or died) adding on to why he could feel the need to protect his female class mates but it could seem like to his other class mates that he is try to prove a point or something when he is just trying to help

[@alyce.6617]

@@kittyfoxcat7802 I love this headcanon

[@noctisastrum7495]

Especially when you look at characters like sokka who was sexist for a small hand of episodes but then he meet the suki and the kyoshi warriors and change his perspective on things

[@kittyfoxcat7802]

@Noctis Astrum not to mention sokaiya grew up in with the man of the house must protect his home and family mentality so it’s explained why he acted the way he did

[@fairyblu6929]

@@noctisastrum7495 plus with Sokka, he didn't just do a complete 180 the minute he met Suki. Suki opened his eyes, sure. But it took him a while before he genuinely lost the mindset that he had to protect all women he comes across. Especially Katara. And that's how it's done.

[@dnpanimationstudio382]

Idk why but I want the whole carrying around a chart thing to be a running gag for him, it’s just so out of nowhere. Imagine he just has different charts for different statistics regarding their scenario and everyone’s like…u just carry that around?

[@jamiedejonge3982]

I love that idea! XD

[@dnpanimationstudio382]

@@jamiedejonge3982 thanks💖 Scenario where the students are up against a monster. Rosemary-Ok what do u think would take out this monster better? Magic or a sword? Aster-Well statistically speaking, for monsters of that size, magic has been used about 60% more when given the chance. Says right here from this chart. Rosemary-How many charts do you have!? Snap-Did…did you make that survey? Cal-Dork! Monster throws something at him Rose-Oddly enough this one’s actually helpful I think. Aster-I also have this chart of how likely it is to get hit by a monster more than 10x. It’s not likely. Monster continues to throw stuff at Cal. Aster-Hmm, I’m gonna have to factor this. Cal-ID PREFER IF YOU SAVE ME INSTEAD PLEASE!

[@dnpanimationstudio382]

Glad u like it

[@HIPEOPLE1887]

The fact that the meathead is also a statistics nerd somehow just works for some reason.

[@ortezac.5339]

At this point I am willing to empty my wallet and put my art skills to the test just so I can help you guys make a reboot of HGS. If you got a link, sign me the fuck up. And yes, I also wanna see him just pulling out oddly-specific-but-helpful stat charts out of nowhere.

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

“LOSE THE GOD DAMN CHART!!” Fake Rosemary 2021

[@rockhistoria2537]

Fake rosemary best rosemary

[@nobafan7515]

Better rosemary Fixed that for you :)

[@Cinnaschticks]

It's like an evil meme but she's actually a decent person instead. XD

[@ShampooSalesman]

@@Cinnaschticks good rosemary be like

[@svetakuklina8398]

This animatic is wonderful and I'm really sorry but Aster! The lost Analyst 3! "But the chart says..."

[@ayrtonenrique4447]

"You're not every guy and i'm not every girl. I'm also not one of your sisters We're in the same clases, which means we both got accepted for our skills That means in here we're EQUAL!"

[@sandwichmonster7067]

The dialogue in this rewrite kicks the original's ass so much it's embarrassing

[@SpectreBagels]

THIS. LINE. So good

[@mrdigzs]

Personally I would say men and women we’re not equal but Where necessary it’s necessary to have a man in the world it’s necessary to have a woman in the world it’s just necessary

[@valerial9081]

@@mrdigzs We're not 100% equal at everything but we shouldn't be treated drastically different for those small differences. We should be treated like equal individuals

[@mrdigzs]

@@valerial9081 yeah your right

[@Orkprof]

I was genuinely expecting him to pull out another chart to distract the slimes

[@jamiedejonge3982]

Oh shit I actually like that idea! XD

[@jonquilgemstone]

"In general, slimes are weaker than other monsters. If you look at this chart here--"

[@guillermostreiger2307]

If, hypothetically, you said, that, for the sake of argument, slimes-

[@themasterprocrastinator4933]

I'm gonna need to come back to this comment soon, so uh, I'm just gonna leave this reply here.... *bookmarked*

[@thedukeofnothing6421]

“So you see here, compared to humans, slime are generally the weaker race.”

[@horrorvictim]

How to make Aster a more tragic character... "He has 3 younger sisters.... It used to be 4..." And he blames himself for what happened everyday.

[@laurenweddle8072]

My God, this video and all these comments make my heart ache for what HGS could have been. This sort of backstory for Aster would have been amazing. Instead, we got a spooky misogynist that we never saw again.

[@laurenweddle8072]

Thanks to you, I have now imagined an entire scene in my head. Aster and his four little sisters grew up in a quaint little village with a violent and unpredictable rainy season. It was a few weeks before it was predicted to start, so Aster and his little sisters ventured to the cave system just outside their village for the last time. They had a fort in one of the pockets near the entrance. Then suddenly, like a switch was flipped, the sky darkened and the rain began pouring, quickly flooding the mouth of the cave. Aster and his little sisters had barely any time to react as ice-cold water began rushing in. The water levels were rising quickly, Aster had no time to think as he rushed to get his sisters out. The usual quick walk to the mouth had now turned into a harrowing, near impossible climb as he fought against the raging current, all the while having his sisters desperately clutching onto him where they could. Finally, they made it to safety, most of them at least. The fear and shock hit Aster harder than any wall of water ever could as he realized his youngest sister was nowhere to be seen. “Stay here, I’ll be back soon.” That was what he told his worried sisters as he dove back into the dark depths of the now flooded caves. Aster struggled to keep his head above the raging tides as he pushed himself further into the tunnels, desperately calling his sister’s name. The terrified shrieks of his youngest sister answered back, crying out for his help. He finally found her, trapped in one of the air pockets further back in the caverns. Aster clutched onto her, before dipping back below the murky depths to make the treacherous climb again. Just as their heads breached the surface of the icy water, a rogue wave came spilling down into the cave, ripping his sister from his arms, and sending them back below. Aster desperately waved his arms around the black deeps, hoping to find his sister, but she was nowhere to be found. Coming to the surface for air in a sputtering heap, he hadn’t realized one last wave had come rushing his way, before crashing into Aster. It hit him with enough force to send him flying through the water headfirst, and right into the rocky floor below, rendering him unconscious. The last thing he remembered after that point was hands reaching out to him. They were that of his other sister, the second oldest out the group siblings. After the rain had passed, the village launched a search party for his sister. They hoped in vain to find her alive, but they never even found a body. The cave was sealed after that, in hopes of preventing a tragedy such as this from happening again.

[@elpatoempatado2404]

@@laurenweddle8072 Thanks, now I feel sad.

[@Holenpense]

@@laurenweddle8072 holy crap that’s one good background story,if the writers afraid that it would be too dark instead of her dying they could’ve made the sister end up in some other place with her memory lost,then put in a random villain that made her evil here and there and done,2 more villains with backstory and one redemption arc coming on the way

[@insertunoroginalnamehere6189]

@@laurenweddle8072 this.. wow I'm amazed

[@chrysantheme5377]

This makes the scene so much better! He's not sexist as a personality trait, you gave him a motive for being that way and he doesn't do it with a bad intention, it is how he's being raised and wants to protect her (also, I laughed with the chart). You made Rosemary say something smart for once in her life, used "show, don't tell" and a good developement. Like, this person right there just made a best show than the original writers. Respect.

[@censored1080]

I personally believe fans writing a better show than the "professional" creators should be called the SAO Abridged Effect

[@johnbovelle9826]

@@censored1080 That should be official 100%.

[@infilit4915]

@@censored1080 Omega lol

[@proboiboy7677]

@@censored1080 true that

[@Cooky_McGee]

You can never go wrong with the GOD DAMN CHART

[@essixthefalcon8657]

"But the chart-" "LOSE THE GODDAMN CHART" Maybe it's cus I'm sleep deprived but that was SO HILARIOUS. I'd love for that to be Aster's gimmick, just having charts for everything jcnedkemd

[@jonquilgemstone]

The cave test scene: "According to this chart, over 80% of students who go in don't come back out alive. About 15% chicken out, so that means we have less than a 10% chance of survival!"

[@williamstark9568]

@@jonquilgemstone Sage: Why do you have that? Rosemary: Do you just... HAVE lots of charts on you all the time!? Aster: YES! Information is the most valuable power of all! So I keep these on me in case of chart emergencies! Rosemary: How did I ever get a crush on you in the first place? Aster: What? Rosemary: NOTHING! Let's go!

[@misslady2639]

That could be a running gag

[@raipe125]

​@@williamstark9568great dude...base

[@tencents6]

Not gonna lie, I got total Nostalgia Critic vibes there.

[@greenbird6435]

-actually gave him a character that isnt "straight cis male bad" -gave him a reason for his behavoir without cringy exposition dumping -actually funny -remembers its for mature audiences so it has swears instead of swearing occasionally They should hire you

[@ariezon]

no, they should not hire them. this video alone shows that they can do much better and deserve a better company than crunchyroll.

[@aeoligarlic4024]

But this series is basically 'twitter, the animation', so ofc it's always cishet white man bad

[@Freshieroleplays]

HIRE THEM NOW.

[@avalasialove]

Now, the next step would be to get a voice actress who doesn’t sound super awkward whenever she swears. AKA not me.

[@cartermarcian6509]

I like that in this version, Aster's assumption that girls are weaker than boys isn't depicted as malicious or intentionally offensive. He's just trying to fulfill his presumed role as well as he can because he feels that it's the right thing for him to do. I think this can be applied to a lot of other conflicts in real life; how it's easy to go about feeling like others who are "against this" or "support that" are bad people, when really, we're all just trying to do the right thing. The problem is that different people's ideas of what's right can differ even more than the people themselves. I think you should continue this one. I'd like to see more character growth for both of these guys.

[@hornetsilksong]

YES. I like messages that explore how toxic masculinity affect people's perceptions and worldview in subtle ways, because uh, most people in the real world are well rounded and nuanced. Sokka from atla is a perfect example of this. He grew up in an extremely gender roled society, which explains his mildly sexist perceptions in the beginning of the series, but is humbled by Suki's skills when he gets completely wiped by the Kyoshi warriors, and grows as a person from changing beliefs. Not the caricature Aster in the og HGS which is not how most people act.

[@cartermarcian6509]

@@hornetsilksong That's the problem with filling the writing room with only one gender, I think. It creates an echo chamber where nobody thinks to consider other perspectives. I'm willing to bet that Aster was inspired by things that the writers had heard about toxic masculinity and the impression they got from those bits of information instead of actually looking into the facts and learning what causes toxic masculinity.

[@user-wn3wv5bx5e]

@@hornetsilksong It's also a little worth to say that toxic masculinity can also derive from serious insecurities. I know a lot of people like to make fun of men being insecure about height but as a short woman - I can understand why at some point, you see men blowing up and having a mental breakdown over the simple factor of height. Toxic masculinity can derive from simple insecurity, and continuously grouping that aspect into something bad, just disregards the opportunity to help someone out of it.

[@legendaresn6983]

@@cartermarcian6509 Are you saying that the cast needs a bit of diversity? Eh eh

[@cartermarcian6509]

@@legendaresn6983 The way I see it, there are multiple kinds of diversity. There's race diversity, gender diversity, sexual orientation diversity, and maybe others that we don't even know about. The important part is that even if they have people from many races and culture on their team, if they're missing even one layer of diversity, they will only see some things from one group's viewpoint. For them, that viewpoint is women. Having more gender diversity on the team would allow them to write non-female characters more realistically and respectfully, even when touching on social issues like this episode attempted to.

[@TheRealMikanTsumiki]

"Well if you look at this chart here" I'm crying TT that's something they would do and could've done, but they didn't! They should've hired you instead

[@gaelanwhite8842]

What's funny is that I think that line was literally snagged from the Nostalgia Critic. It's not even a bad gag, it could work for so many potential set ups.

[@svetakuklina8398]

This animatic is wonderful and I'm really sorry but Aster! The lost Analyst 3! "But the chart says..."

[@aeoligarlic4024]

'The chart' is also a common counter argument by either parts so it's relatable lol

[@raipe125]

Agreed

[@Drip_Wooper]

Could be a great set-up for many things, and it would be played as just a gag in the start, so it wouldnt draw much attention, plus it would be a multi-layered joke, first the expectation break, of a himbo carrying nerdy charts everywhere and having giant ready-to-use essays on important topics, only for it to be revealed that the reason he carries those around is because he has bad memory (a pay-off to that one off joke about him forgetting Rosemary's name mid-test) and doesnt want to forget those things, followed by a reveal that he actually has notes abt the names of everyone in class bc he's specially bad at remembering names, a quick joke about it being creppy by sage or snapdragon with a sudden mood switch (for an extra punch in the gut) when in one of his old secret notebooks, in an old page there being a note like "never forget MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!" And then the name of 4 girls, with a picture of him with 4 blonde young girls sitting by him, and as the characters go through the pages they realize one of the girls no longer show up, its only him and 3 other girls... Implying the worst has happened. His character is a himbo, thus he naturally is bad at judging people, be it their character or their strenghs, and bc of his upbringing (older brother, expected to be strong, grew up in a mainly female househood with the only other male being his father, who was very strong, ended up internalizing that girls can be weak or strong, but boys will always be strong regardless), and kinda just went "its hard to judge if a girl is weak or strong, if she's strong and I think she's weak and protect her she'll get offended, if she's weak and I think she's strong and dont protect her she'll die like sis, its best offended than dead" and then act like its his duty as a man to always try to defend any girl. I think it would be a cool ending for his character arc to be instead of getting bested by a girl, it be involving another male student such as: in the middle of an exercise, a male student got in trouble, causing Aster to think about not interfering because "why is he struggling? He's a man, he should be strong" he steps in and saves the day, realizing that if he had stepped in any later and the same incident with his young sister would have repeated. Cue in little broken beliefs scene with him thinking "Ok, so I gotta protect guys and girls now? Everyone can die! I cant tell if a man or woman is weak or strong, its better if I protect everyone?!?", to which a teacher, probably Caraway, would talk to him about some "in a battlefield every case is different and special, if you generalize people either die or you lose your energy unnecessarely, which gets YOU killed, the ability to figure out who you're able to understand who you're supposed to protect and who you can rely on is essential for a guardian!" And when he asks how he's supposed to do that he gets the answer of 'this is a school, you're here to learn, you're a kid, you have time to take it slow'. Finishing this side character's little character arc, solving his sexism and traumatic tendencies to overwork himself just because he's older. Or something like that, I'm probably Just overthinking stuff.

[@TanegiHoneydew]

The greatest thing coming from High Guardian Spice is the fact that I get to see so many great scene rewritten such as this one.

[@Clovis_the_Cat]

I've really been enjoying the fan re-writes and ideas about improving the story as well. Makes me feel sad that the original squandered its potential, though.

[@EKAnimations]

@@Clovis_the_Cat Perhaps the true potential is in expanding the creative minds of others through sheer spite. Watching these redesign and rewrite videos are incredibly fun.

[@ShampooSalesman]

It sorta makes me sad knowing that this isnt what the show is like

[@rachelmariecaberapacheco7942]

I like this idea, specially the sisters part, makes total sence if he was being over protetive towards Rosemary, but maybe they could also explain that due be the older brother, he is also more protective towards everyone, not just Rosemary, maybe this is why he is honeslty a such good guardian material, he has a natural protective nature, but this is also his biggest flaw, as he is used on carrying everyone on his shoulders, he forgets and neglects himself, sometimes getting hurt and ignoring his injures due this, which on the long run, will just get him killed, meaning he needs to learn to trust his team partners more while Rose could learn to not be so reckless, like maybe they end in a situation where they are in troubles due their mistakes, cause Rose wanted to show off (due her crush on him and pride) while he was being way too over protective (getting in the way of danguer to protect Rose, but in so they got in each others way), leaving him hurt in the process...so Rose would learn that she has to visualite her limits, be more carefull which she will learn by helping Aster to get out to the ending line of this training , while Aster will have to trust Rose on taking care of him, learning he doesn't have to carry all his team members on his back, they are there to suport each other in need...that way both get a step closer on getting better and also get a decent friendship in the process...cause again, Rosemary has a lot to learn, its perfectly fine to be brave and direct, but throw yourself out of a plane without a parachute or a plan...yeah not good...but is also just as bad as not trust your team partners, its frustating and hard to do a mission like that, even if one has good intentions (protect them).

[@justradicles4337]

This sounds really good! Very well thought out

[@rachelmariecaberapacheco7942]

@@justradicles4337 Thank you! ☺️

[@legendaresn6983]

@@rachelmariecaberapacheco7942 I would go as far to say that this both trumps the aster episode and the cave episode for Rosemary's development. And now I have a connection in my head between Aster and Season 1 ichigo, you know when he wanted to shoulder the weight on his mother's death on his shoulders, but his family holded him and he got a small breakdown at 15 asking his father why they don't hate him. And then in movie 4 he gave the legendary quote: "Do you know why the first born is born first? Its to protect their younger siblings!". Imagine if that's Aster's development, going from an immature boy with a protector complex to a mature man with the power to protect.

[@rachelmariecaberapacheco7942]

@@legendaresn6983 I like the way you think!

[@ilovewritingessays2017]

Let’s all band together and just rewrite high guardian spice

[@cottonballbats]

I totally agree with you on the Aster thing!!! I feel like this show had A LOT of potential if only they had included more nuance to the characters and the story- so I'm really enjoying this little series that you're making!! It's like seeing what could've been done with more competent writers lmao

[@SteveSmith-ty8ko]

Too bad the writers of this show wouldn’t know nuance if it bit them in the ass and took them out on a soul searching magical adventure.

[@gaming1zanagi-1999.]

Too bad the creators seems to care more for some black'n'white views and reps that they dismissed the fact that feminine men and tomboy women are still a thing and doesn't mean that they are part of lgbt+ as feminity and masculinity are relative. Plus from how look at Snapdragon and his backstory he is just more of a feminine men who likes women alot and that alone makes him already straight despite being feminine plus his backstory feels more of a grey area. Cause I feel Snap's dad did not mind Snap being feminine and more of giving an advice and encouragement that he should stand up for himself in order to get what he wants.

[@BryonYoungblood]

@@gaming1zanagi-1999. Yeah. It also would have been different if they had REAL diversity in the writing staff instead of claiming diversity when it was all women as well as the lack of experience in some cases besides pushing agendas.

[@gaming1zanagi-1999.]

@@BryonYoungblood exactly.

[@anomalocaris2593]

They also needed better world building, MUCH better dialogue and less self inserts

[@annamav9700]

Some people in the comments say the male characters are shitty because there were no men on the team. I don't think so. The only reason why male characters are bad - writer's incompetence. Woman can write good male characters too, you know? They could pull off the female-only team, if they had COMPETENT writers...

[@jamiedejonge3982]

I agree, I mean I'm a woman and people seem to like my writing. :')

[@annamav9700]

@@jamiedejonge3982 yeah :D And, well, they had a lot of women in the team, but female characters might be even worse than male ones, so it's really not a good point.

[@KL-ki8db]

Also, don't forget about writer's own bigotry in addition to the poor writing.

[@avalasialove]

I think it has more to do with the fact that one of the writers is a well-known misandrist who made a Tweet about killing all men.

[@WeePingWG]

High Guardian Spice prays for “equality” and “inclusivity” but they are legit Twitter made series cuz the show only complains about the issues and doesn’t resolve This re-made scene actually shows some change! And a good way to confront the problem instead of just screaming and complaining. Really like your stuff :D💖!

[@drawdrawjessi1593]

If I may politely correct you, it’s mostly from Tumblr. But you are right that this is written from Twitter.

[@z6lda]

@@drawdrawjessi1593 old tumblr i think cause i rarely see them anymore

[@Rincee]

The fact they are named from freaking spices is what pisses me off.

[@harutoSpring]

@@Rincee not even spices they're herbs!!

[@RC.-]

These people are the same ones who complain men can’t write women but write men like this

[@KolkoCat]

I want season two and just have you write the whole thing.

[@jamiedejonge3982]

Wow! Thanks! XD

[@princesszeldaprincess447]

I know still waiting for season 2

[@misakahatori3574]

Oh my thank goodness!! I tho I'm the only one who want season 2 of this show! Glad I'm found my peeps!! Hehe

[@bomb1515]

High Guardian Spice Retold?

[@queeny5613]

Yesss same

[@syafeeqahisham1740]

I like aster. He could have a lot of potential in the show. I mean look at him he could be a friendly rival or sparring partner to rosemary. I love how you write the reason why aster is like that to rosemary. Sometimes siblings depended on the older one. I know that because Im the older sibling and my brother and parents depended on me. I mean in superhero girls 2019,even though Jessica and Hal are friends,but they bicker like siblings and have a rivalry that considered healthy and competitive. Eve the scene where Hal apologizes,I would laugh because that's just like him bad at explanation but loving it.

[@hornetsilksong]

Damn, that's actually a good idea for a character dynamic. Too bad the unskilled writers of HGS wasted that potential lol. At this rate fanfiction writers could rehaul the entire show and make the characters and plot actually have nuance and depth lmao

[@adararelgnel2695]

This is making me realize how the "mean" or "bad" characters in hgs are all just straw men. Your version of Aster being more sincere and having understandable reasons behind his actions is so much more nuanced and enjoyable.

[@Glowvie]

Character flaws without being straight out evil for no reason. GOOD. Also *CHART*

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

But the chart says….

[@arrontheprotogen9276]

LOSE THE GOD DAMN CHART!!

[@pixiebubbles2628]

Aster could've just been a fun himbo character, but instead the writers decided sexism is a personality as much a pink hair dye was for them.

[@ange4154]

I like that you gave him a "why" to his sexism, instead of him just being sexist to be sexist. It's like the writers forgot we have reasons behind our behaviors and that said reasons extend to characters as well. No one is born sexist or even inclusive. We have reasons behind everything, even if we don't know them ourselves.

[@RC.-]

This show SERIOUSLY has a problem making characters one dimensional. We aren’t given a reason why they act a certain way. It makes sense considering Crunchyroll only hired writers for being female rather then having good writing skills. Everyone should check out Encanto, Maya and the Three or The Owl House it’s way better!

[@tigremaster2618]

English: This scene seems to me to make a thousand times more sense than the original, because the boy gives clear arguments and Rosemary responds in a very logical way, not like "Uhg, I have a thousand times more ability than you" Nope, they just act very organically, without a doubt a wonderful result ^^ Español: Esta escena me parece que tiene mil veces mas sentido que la original, porque el chico da argumentos claros y rosemary le responde de manera muy lógica, no como un "Uhg, yo tengo mil veces mas habilidad que tu" Nop, simplemente actúan muy organicamente, Sin duda un maravilloso resultado ^^ Edit 1: Woah, :0 150 Likes???!!!! Gracias :D Woah, :0 150 likes???!!! Thanks :D

[@ezequieljazarotamerlan593]

totalmente de acuerdo.

[@whyops9862]

Whoa perfect English translation, good job👍

[@bituinl]

You can still speak Spanish KZbin has translate on itb

[@selenium3447]

I don't like how Kate and the girls wrote Aster as this villian by being sexist when he was a kid. Sure, he could have been taken down a peg, but hes like... 15?? That's the looks I got from his character design? We all look back and cringe on our younger days. To try to boil him down to just hur dur sexist ignores the issues that legitimately cause it. Usually people that young follow what they were told by the adults or figures they trust. Him needing to be the "big brother" per say of the group is an amazing add to this. Plus, the chart made me laugh. You should write your own magical girl show!!

[@samuelbedsole5089]

As someone who has younger sisters of my own i can kind of identify with this version of Aster. Sometimes I have to reign in my big brother instincts and let my sisters do their own thing as they become capable young women. It definitely would've been interesting to see a character have to unlearn years of being the man in charge and realize his female colleagues are capable of holding their own. Maybe something along the lines of Sokka from Avatar. But nope, all we got was an incompetent peacock who is never seen again.

[@arumaka3662]

I really liked how you gave Aster a reason to act like the way he acts without making him mean or evil kinda remiding Sokka I aways got my eyebrows lifted for the message of equality because in majority of the times is really akward and shit But i liked the way you did here delivering a message of actual equality and not the shit message of ""Hur dur Woman Better Sexist Man Trash"" i love it

[@AzariahMarinaStarcaster]

Seeing this now has me wondering if the scene(s) where Sage is comparing the difference between guys and girls needs to be redone or not? I can believe that Sage legitimately thinks the things she was saying are true because she grew up in the middle of nowhere and was probably surrounded by very few examples of how male friendships could be, but I think that (or whatever her reasoning is for her mindset) should be made clearer so she doesn't come off as a hateful sexist. At the same time, though, I think it's also a really important set of scenes to have because Snapdragon's mini breakdown over the whole topic is one of the things that showcases her dysphoria. But more on the actual topic of this scene, I really like how you portrayed the way Aster came to this thought process. It reads less like he's a sexist for the sake of it and more like he's one of those guys that believes in old school chivalry and being a classic gentleman, which I think would be really fitting in a show about people basically training to be knights. It raises the question about where chivalry ends and sexism begins, and I think that's a really important thing to talk about.

[@Limacinablues]

Glad to meet you again. I had give you my account names on your email.

[@Mint-Lynx]

“Lose the God Damn Chart!” That scene was hilarious, wasn’t even animated yet the storyboards and writing conveyed the comedic energy perfectly.

[@fernandogonzales9240]

This scene was really well written. But as great as it was, what stuck out to me was that Rosemary killed an innocent slime. Aster made it feel loved, while she broke it's heart. It was a good slime. Rest in peace, you innocent creature

[@leanTheDumb]

this dude just turn trash into gold

[@spoupsmcdoups]

Honestly you should’ve been a writer for High Guardian Spice. This show could’ve actually been good if the writers were more competent and the animation team actually tired. Hope you get to make your own series someday you’re really good at writing and story boarding

[@TeganThrussell]

I really prefer characters who learn to lose their sexism, rather than treating it like a perminant fixture of their personality. Like Sokka, my favourite example. He was a sexist asshole. He thought that he had to protect people. He thought he had to be in charge, because he was the oldest and a male. But then he got out of his bubble, saw the world, and realised what he was doing. He matured, and became a confident, gentle and respectful leader to everyone under him, regardless of their nationality, bending ability, gender, whatever. He had an arc. Aster is Sokka before he met Suki, with none of the charm or comedic use, and none of the potential.

[@katraydack341]

I like this portrayal of Aster. He’s not being a dick or trying to be just in general rude, he seems to genuinely care for her safety. Him saying he has sisters too might also make him very protective and have him in the mindset that he needs to protect them which isn’t a bad trait at all. Sure, he’s going about it all wrong but he just genuinely cares and wants to keep his sisters safe and in turn carries that over to Rosemary. And the little- “Are you sure?” Like- he really just wants to keep them safe and it’s admirable. Nice work.

[@ezequieljazarotamerlan593]

I realize that this series has practically 2 fandoms, those who defend it (yes, I have seen a few) and then there are those who know that the series is bad but we talk about it as an example or "didactic material" of what not to do. In an animated series or also people like you who take advantage of the material to improve it, it is rare, I do not like this series for a lot of reasons but it still caught my attention and made me want to continue seeing how this "phenomenon" could end. postscript: good animatic as always, while I was watching it I was listening to Dororo's first ending and it seemed to me that it combined very well, I don't know why.

[@bootleg6477]

Like... Of all the people to hire... Why wasnt it you?!?! Probably a good thing tbh. Your back would get sore from carrying the damn show so hard

[@aeoligarlic4024]

I feel sorry for the OP if they had to work with kate leth and co tho.... 😬

[@maximoarana5549]

Another great writed animatic, you are so talent at this.

[@lampshadethisforshadowthat1050]

*greatly written

[@maximoarana5549]

@@lampshadethisforshadowthat1050 Sorry XD

[@decentgrocerybag4003]

I LOVED THAT CHART GAG

[@1805movie]

I like how you added a Nostalgia Critic reference when he said "But the chart says...". I also liked how you added more depth to both Rosemary and Aster. Rosemary telling him it doesn't matter what gender you are when it comes to being a warrior, and Aster explaining why he's the way he is. It makes them both interesting and nuanced.

[@Pootis-Spencer]

Now THIS is a plot I want to follow! Next thing is the Aster character arc were we also met his sisters and Rosemary and Aster defeating the bad guys and becoming besties/platonic loving eachother/lovers maybe too why not?

[@Kiki15578]

I think a good bestie rival will do :D

[@inky5574]

When he pulls out the chart I can't help but think of the Analyst 1 and Analyst 2 from Nostalgia Critic ESPECIALLY when he said "But the chart says-"

[@newsilverware5299]

The chart bit made me laugh

[@Its_Brigid_at_it_again]

I percieved aster as overconfident to cover up a lack of direction in life, but this is equally as amazing!

[@soygris8791]

I don't know why but for some reason I imagined that in the past the blonde whose name I always forget had a younger sister who dreamed of being a warrior like Rosemary but one day some thieves went to their house and the blonde and his sister tried to defend themselves but the sister died and the blond ended up traumatized with the idea that he has to be the strong one. Don't ask why, one day he just popped into my head ...

[@villagirl2107]

wow this backstory slaps so hard. in only one youtube comment you just made a far more compelling story than what we got from HGS. this is really good and makes so much sense for his character!

[@Reeses7501]

That would add A LOT to his character.

[@soygris8791]

@@Reeses7501 I'm happy that you like it.

[@goodmachines7743]

Not only does this feel more organic, and not only does this scene bring across the message a whole lot better… It’s just more fun, and has some LIFE in it.

[@Tamaki742]

"But the chart says-" "I'M NOT TALKING TO THE CHART, I'M TALKING TO YOU." Dude seriously they should hire you as their storyboarder too, aside from being a writer.

[@KL-ki8db]

They would probably ignore her as being non inclusive when the story idea is fantastic.

[@silentslender8132]

Not much I can say that others haven't nailed perfectly, but this is a good character flaw that would've been nice to see resolved with time, y'know, if Aster was even relevant past one episode T_T Once more I tip my hat to you, awesome work!

[@misakahatori3574]

Ahhhhhh right...... I forgot he only appeared in that episode and no more...... Dang it what's the point of using a character if they just gonna appered only once???? Geez

[@gidofter_lukge]

@@misakahatori3574 mostly so that the writers can complain about toxic men for one episode and then drop it. Aster only exists in the real show so that the writers can vent about men they dislike.

[@misakahatori3574]

@@gidofter_lukge haaaaaaaaaaaaa such a shame huh???

[@videostarlet]

Oh this made him so much more likeable. Rosemary, too. And the chart thing was adorable. It made him unique and quirky.

[@Ookami_mx]

I love what you did here! Rosemary not only complains and growls and Aster has more development, even this could be the beginning of an arc of this supporting character! This is my idea: Aster is the eldest son of a large family, with 3 little sisters, a sick mother and an absent father. That's why, from a very young age, he had to take the role of boss at home, not because he wanted it, because he had no choice... That's why Aster is used to taking care of all the women around him, and that's also why he's skilled, he HAS to be, if he wanted to protect his mother and sisters. And that's why he wants to be a guardian, to help his family with lots of money. But thanks to this fight, side by side with a girl like equals, he finally understands that the girls can be strong like the guys, and it is better to teach his sisters to stand up for themselves, teach them to be independent and strong. But not only physically, strong in spirit and heart too, just like Rosemary. Can you imagine how cool it would be if Aster's sisters were Rose's first fans? 😄

[@acsound]

He could even relate to Parsley (the oldest of 12-13 siblings and the only girl).

[@rockhistoria2537]

@@acsound I think he could also work as a parallel or even a supportive figure to snapdragon

[@noirtreize2713]

@@rockhistoria2537 Oh my god! YES! He could actually be the first cis male character that didn't treat Snap like shit for once.

[@TheChildofAuraReborn]

Gosh, I really like what you've done with this scene. You've added character depth for Aster that also gives him and Rosemary a chance to resolve their differences, opening up a path to possibly seeing him again down the road and having him grow during those later appearances. Especially because instead of going the route of pushing the "Women are actually better than men!" message the show hamfists into the episodes, the line "You're not every guy and I'm not every girl" establishes that they're PEOPLE with different advantages and disadvantages. Really hoping if you're trying to apply for some story boarding jobs that you'll get those jobs, because this was a very appealing rewrite.

[@silverdrag0n_]

holy crap, you made Aster a likeable character because now i can see where his intentions might come from: he's the oldest brother of three sisters, so his parents presumably taught him from a young age that he needs to keep his sisters safe, meaning he has to protect them from harm. (he might also protect them by his own choice because maybe he doesn't like seeing his sisters cry) he might have also gotten told something like "you're much stronger than your sisters, so you'll have to protect them" which he might've interpreted as "since you're a boy, you are much stronger than your sisters (so you need to protect them)", not taking into account that his sisters might be a couple of years younger than him and therefore physically weaker. this translates into Aster thinking he will have to protect all girls the same way, because he might not have had any friends his age (seeing as he's been put on constant babysitting mode since his sisters were old enough to walk) and is then confused when meeting a girl his age who willingly puts herself in harms way. i see great redeemability potential in this version of Aster, with him going from overprotective brother to a protector of the weak. and yes, i think he would make a great paladin. sorry about the long info dump lmao

[@zackkarma7760]

I love how he just had a chart with him XD

[@ThePorcelainMoth]

Your critiques to the show are all so wonderful!

[@Godzillakingofkaiju1]

Here's how I would've written Aster: Rosemary reminds him of the eldest of his sisters and she always gets into the most trouble. It also reminds him of a dark time in which his sister almost died at the hands of a dragon and he just barely got her out of there while their parents were out questing. So, whenever he sees Rosemary doing something brash or stupid, he's reminded of that dark moment in his life and he doesn't want that happening again.

[@misakahatori3574]

Gosh this re-write is so much better than the OG show. Like I love how you make rosemary more likable than the OG show and give more personalities to her and aster as well too!

[@zestytriss5282]

The moral lesson of Equal is a really good messsage than the "Tough men are mean" message they try to tell.

[@ysffff]

Seeing some comments about the chart gag made me think about taking it to the extreme and making it a character trait. Imagine the reason he has so many charts ready for every kind of situation is because his primary hobby and true calling is actually analytics and strategy, and he only became a warrior because he was forced into the role due to being the sole protector of his siblings. Because he's taken away from that environment while in the academy, he could find out he actually enjoys the charts way more than the actual fighting (which he is indifferent to) and develop into an adept strategist!

[@infamouse9263]

Honestly that would be awesome and I wish if that were true he’d be part of the main cast like their strategist improving upon his development as he is the one coming up with strategies that will end up getting them hurt to complete some of his plans

[@84updown]

Its so nice to see Aster's mindset actually humanized. In the show it just felt like more "evil spooky misogynist" but here he has nuance which is really cool :) Honestly you should've been on the writing team for this show lol

[@kyokugenryudisciple9349]

If I can add to this, you know the girl Zinnia: the one that backed out of a mission in a later episode? You can easily write her in as one of Aster’s Sisters. But other than that, I like the way you wrote his motivations: it’s gender norms on a basic level not “Toxic Masculinity”. With this, you can easily write him as a friendly rival and a friend to Team Spice.

[@desidominguez2876]

To add on even further, I also like the idea of also giving Zinnia a subplot in this episode where she learns courage and self confidence thanks to whoever her partner is. That way when Aster and Zinnia finish the obstacle course, Aster can see for himself that he doesn't need to keep protecting his sister all the time, and that she can take care of herself.

[@kyokugenryudisciple9349]

@@desidominguez2876 That’s actually good. A great missed opportunity in many ways. If they weren’t deadest on Burying specific Male Characters Parnell wouldn’t be alone as a great character on the male side.

[@real-lifeanimeghost3911]

You give this boy here a personality, thank you

[@tomw.1507]

Man I like this a lot. Also the chart was a brilliant jab at people who shove statistics for an argument. Of course I don't mean statistics will be wrong, but it's weird people think it makes them 100% and objectively right when it's just a _probability_ Damn if the story was written like that, even with the politics, I'd actually _enjoy_ High Guardian Spice, way more than when I made myself sit through the whole damn first season x.x

[@eden8992]

You even got that annoying "Are you sure?" line in there and made it so that an actual human was saying it, I love it

[@raphiecrescentmoon6411]

This is way better. It also gives off the idea that Aster can be redeemed in a way

[@kaitlync191]

He wasn't really sexist or braggy like his character normally is, his heart was in the right place even though he was going about it all wrong this is a great adaptation!

[@lotusdragonjbh]

Did you give Aster motive not out of spite but out of the factbtaht he assumes that simply because he's always protected his sisters and he's a guy that means he is to protect others , giving him both an understandable yet flawed way of thinking rooted in an established place. I like that. I like it a lot.

[@lgbtqiarights]

dude i hope someone voices over your animatics one day. i love them. you have potential!

[@LazyPillowCase]

Wow for an animatic Aster finally feels 3 dimensional GOOD JOB!

[@weirdfrikicj7389]

I really love how in a few seconds he is a more deeper character, like I have the sensation that having 3 sisters give him some sense of responsibility towards females, not for believing himself to be superior, but "that's what older siblings do", so this is like a genuine learning to him.

[@hairlessgrizzly559]

I like how you alone wrote this 1:21 clip better than the entire series a group of "writers" made over the span of 3 years

[@RandomGuy-id2ej]

Perfect comedy Love interestry and perfect friendship

[@chucheeness7817]

A version I'd like to think Aster would be is just a high strung condescending know-it all. Condescending, but well meaning, as in he has no prejudice or malice, he just is raised to be a perfectionist or is already a highly skilled combatant. And for a running gag, he could be a rival to Rosemary where she puts in effort to learn things, actually practice swordsmanship and wilderness survival skills (coz clearly she's inept) but until she measures up to Aster, he is completely oblivious of this, like being confused when Rosemary does something decent, good or exceptional and he has no idea why Rosemary is so smug. And when Aster finally acknowledges her skills (in a situation where she handles it better than he could, or just is something she could do) he finally calls her by her actual name because he didn't pay much attention to her to get her name right. And in addition, he could also admit that he's not as perfect as he thinks (or the people that raised him thinks) and that he should also learn from his classmates. Wouldn't that be character development for both of them.

[@hodzal5258]

Become a writer on the show, you make it better than the whole writing staff

[@matthewballon7553]

I feel like even they had her as a writer, there's gonna be creative differences with the studio and its executives in the end.

[@masavant]

Honestly you are amazing with these re-writes and the humour comes in naturally, I fully agree with your view on the hedge maze for the best tools are a pencil and paper to map the area so you know where you have been and I don't know that many people who still cannot tell the difference between their left and right. One of the few things that I kind of disliked about Aster was there was only the one scene where he was a sexist and it was at the end, it was like watching a Gillette commercial, if we compare Aster to a well known animated sexist Gaston from Beauty and the Beast the biggest difference is Gaston is actual good at what he does and put the work in. They had the great setup for Aster been a person claiming false valour, over exaggerating their abilities and oozing arrogance, great qualities for an antagonist especially for Rosemary who has all the same traits. Jamie, I do like how you have turned what the show has labelled a sexist character into a bigger brother who has been faking been great at everything for a long time in order for him to assure and calm his 3 younger sisters and to finally be told that he doesn't have be this great person anymore is very relatable for anyone who has been the eldest brother/sister. Please keep making these videos, they are very good and extremely heart warming.

[@jamiedejonge3982]

Thank you so much for your comment!! That was so nice to read! You really made my day.

[@eclecticwitch4515]

deadass going "fine, i'll do it myself" re writing this show, i adore your creativity and commitment

[@astersworld6169]

Why does this character have to have the same name as me?

[@kanorune]

Aster's a pretty cool name ngl

[@astersworld6169]

@@kanorune thank you, although some people would disagree

[@onkiwi6914]

Your writing is the best, the way you fixed the characters in seconds with few dialogues. I need an animatic with Slime Boy >:D

[@3abadi05]

An animatic with slime boy would be dope

[@kulazu]

Aster's personality is WAY better than the original!

[@ForestVegetable]

At this point you can write the show- to be better- your really good at it! Finally aster has a reason for being Like that

[@HerrWayne45]

I saw that you uploaded and i Immediately dropped what I was doing to watch this because I knew it was gonna be good and again I am not disappointed, keep flexing 💪those dank writing skills girl.

[@grungekitty77]

ok I unironically love the "I have three *little* sisters" backstory. It gives him a very understandable basis for his world view. If the majority of interaction he had with girls were all younger than him and considered "his responsibility", then that would of course color how he viewed women. I also love how you boarded and wrote the scene. It really showed that Aster was more worried than anything when he asked "are you sure?". This wasn't about feeling superior, this was about feeling hyper responsible for someone else's wellbeing.

[@greenhat8978]

The more of these I see written by you, the more I am convinced that if you wrote even half of the first five episodes of season 2 that would be enough to salvage the series up to season 3... you clearly understand how the characters are supposed to work, and you clearly understand how to implement them properly. If the Writers listened to your critique for about 30 minutes at most (or roughly 5 minutes per episode) the entire quality of the series as a whole would probably double if not TRIPLE...

[@Sammy_The_Umbreon]

THANK YOU! THIS! THIS IS GREAT! He has a reason for acting this way, and he still has to learn something (because he has flaws), but he's not a needlessly toxic asshole.

[@feiwnakausvkaxbdkebkswowbq8331]

I don’t know what’s funnier: The fact you wrote a way better scene in less than two minutes than the entire show combined, or the fact that Aster has no pockets and pulled that chart out of the freaking shadow realm.

[@ajdude9]

That 'Lose the god damn chart' part was hilarious, even without voice acting. The fact I found it funny means that this is 100% better than the entirety of HGS because no part of that was genuinely humorous.

[@JMarcosArt]

I honestly enjoyed this re-interpretation. It makes both characters seem likeable. I almost feel tempted to make an animation inspired by this.

[@Groomsman]

I liked the bit with the chart. It’s one of those things you can see in both an anime and cartoon, which would’ve made sense for the show. For whatever that’s worth

[@kingcyclops4079]

A great way to make Aster a more likable character would be to have him be a very competent fighter. He talks a lot of shit but he can back it up. Rosemary wants to be a warrior so that naturally brings a rivalry between them. At the same time show he's flawed he overestimates himself and can get his ass handed to him sometimes, as Rosemary grows and gets better Aster respects her. You can have a whole character arc for him where he learns that he has to realize his faults and respect others. Rosemary would gave that whole "I got here cause of my friends" talk and then we can have Aster realize that and he joins the friend group or makes his own. Keep the negative traits of him being a hot head expand on that, show his world view and his perspective on what it means to be a warrior. There you go now you have a character with an arc, a relationship with the main character, and a theme.

[@SagaVonDrusus]

Man have never seen so many fan projects automatically dwarf an official project so quickly

[@militarydeviltube5014]

That was sweet! I love your ideas

[@hiiloveu1521]

Okay the chart actually made me laugh, it feels like you just breathed life into this scene

[@ImsbananaS.]

I love those re-written animatics,they are so cool

[@clem-lv2rw]

Are you going to end up rewriting the whole ass show? I'd watch that.

[@thepalindromeemordnilapeht1267]

I'm dying, the "chart" thing makes him just seem like a dumb jock XD it's so silly. combine that with him talking about his sisters, we can gather he's a little sheltered and just has not been around many girls that aren't his sisters.... the misogyny is still there, but it means we get to learn a genuine lesson about it. i think the problem with being hyperwoke is that yeah, the excuses for people to be misogynstic/racist/sexist are getting fewer and fewer with the more knowledge is spread around. but that also means that the communities/families/etc. that believe in those things buckle down harder. if you have a character who has been sheltered (like this version of Astor) or in some other cases, raised in a toxic environment, it can be jarring to be exposed to new ideas, ESPECIALLY when the people with the new ideas look down at you as scum of the earth for being against them. aka, you can't convince a misogynist who's been raised around misogynists and whose only trusted friends are misogynists to not be misogynistic by saying "you're a terrible person for thinking this way". obviously don't hold em by the hands, they're not the biggest victim in the room, but don't be mean for the sake of it. point being, there's a fine line between ignorance, willful ignorance to protect oneself/social sphere, and and willful ignorance for malice. High Guardian Spice really only cared about the last one.

[@TheOkamiDemon13]

You know.. if a group of youtubers just.. joined forces to rewrite that abomination, i bet there would be an actual good cartoon

[@somethingkun2076]

You made him likable in just a minute this is amazing

[@ariezon]

not only you make aster a 3d character, but you also make rosemary to be more competent and showing leadership. and this only get better after watching literature devil versions of episode 1.

[@Chai_tea1600]

Wow this feels way more natural! You did a good job rewriting this :0

[@polker8380]

well I'll be damned. I can't believe that I actually find my self smiling at a high guardian spice scene of all things. Also, this makes me realize that Aster can be made into a really good supporting character for Rosemary and the same could be done for the guy that harassed Snapdragon.