I Rewrote Twilight And It's Better Now

[@Trintron46]

"It actually doesn't effect the other versions of Twilight." I'm dying 🤣

[@HannahLeeKidder]

I know everyone gets worried and I just want to reassure u that every other copy is intact, unmarred, untouched

[@maia_gaia]

Listen, I'm a MASSIVE over-writer, and even I'm hurting reading how much word vomit Stephanie has left in this PUBLISHED NOVEL.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

it's simply Too Much

[@maia_gaia]

@@HannahLeeKidder and yet she says nothing. It's impressive in a terrible way.

[@maam-yj8ph]

I could not make it through one of the books. I swear there were multiple pages with the same paragraph with like maybe one word placed differently.

[@TimbrrWolfe]

Will Hannah succeed in her quest to clean up Twilight? Or will she throw her laptop out of the window and/or light it on fire before the task can be completed? Only time will tell. But if Hannah suddenly stops uploading videos, I think we all know what's to blame.

[@furonguy42]

By the time Hannah's finished with this, the overall word count of the book will be about a third of what it was originally.

[@MrCreepandJeep]

Wow, I learned a lot about writing just from this video. I'm going to incorporate your tips in my manuscript.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

fab! thanks for watching ^_^

[@grife3000]

My biggest takeaway is that Bella lives eternally staring at the ground.

[@annieanderson1837]

There are many phrases from this video that I want on a t-shirt, but I think my favourite is, "this has been...insufferable."

[@TimbrrWolfe]

" 'Ew.' Snow. There went my good day" "Was she having a good day?" Well, she /was/. But then you went chopchopchop and erased it. Poor Bella. Girl just can't catch a break 😆

[@HannahLeeKidder]

AHHAHAaa yeah you can see me realize that before I delete it

[@savannahfaith6120]

LOL at “glanced up under my lashes” because it’s SO. LITERAL. We forget that our writing should be realistic (not that vampires exist but, ya know). It’s so fun to brush up on my writing skills this way. It’s less dreadful and watching these editing videos makes me want to write more! Please keep them coming!! (P.S. I started editing my own draft of Twilight because of you & can’t wait to see our different approaches as time goes by! Thanks!)

[@joemoya9743]

If you collaborated with the writer... she would suddenly become a short story writer instead of a novelist.

[@finleyherrmann4048]

Monday is double lunch day now, huh. I guess monday needed something positive anyways

[@finleyherrmann4048]

And right after that second lunch was cut. we can't have good things

[@HannahLeeKidder]

@@finleyherrmann4048 s n i p

[@rebbiejoanthony5362]

Watching you pick apart Twilight is entertaining, but I'm also finding it educational. Stephanie provided so many examples of how not to write.

[@nabilamiah3814]

Just finished online school, time to watch this

[@HannahLeeKidder]

I'm proud of you

[@raemetters819]

My fave quotes from this were: "Shut up, Bella." and "Mr Bannister." LOL!

[@ThisRynGames]

I've never read any of the Twilight books, but they give me heavy Wattpad vibes.

[@heidi_asar]

He was obviously wondering if I was mentally competent. BELLAA! That cracked me up I almost woke my son up! God you make this book so interesting I can't stop listening and watching these edits.

[@LottePea]

I've been strugling with a chapter for weeks 'cause the scenes don't go together and there is a lot of stuff going on with my characters. Seeing you just deleting all those chunks of words not only made me VERY SATISFIED but also helped me realise how to finish editing my damn chapter: just delete all the bullshit in between and get to the point. Thanks Hannah! (by the way, inglish is not my first language ok, don't jugde my grammar to much on this random youtube comment)

[@beeplk7290]

I love this series. Doing the Lord's work, Hannah!

[@Faeree]

She did it, she used the thumbnail that would undoubtedly worry me into clicking. (I'd click regardless but let's do this)

[@HannahLeeKidder]

I felt like it matched the title better and you could also see the subtle desperation in my eyes, which I think is important

[@hyleore]

this reads almost like bad fanfiction (you'd only need to replace some of the "looks" and "eyes" with "orbs") and yet I was obsessed with it as a teen 😂 it must be that the characters and the story are compelling enough, but the prose...

[@samkathryn4825]

25:09 You could make Edward and the others less old. Like, maybe Edward was dying in a later decade instead of 1918 This would also correlate to the more modern dialogue you've given him in some places. So, he could still be pretty old (gross, but whatever), but not 90. I mean, if we move everything up, it would be a good chance to have more social commentary. Maybe instead of Rosalie being killed by her fiance in the 30's, it could be the 50's, the height of the struggle for women having to choose between being the perfect wife (which Rosalie seems to have wanted) and being a working woman. So, what happened to Rosalie ties into the struggles women had in that time.

[@xtonibx5770]

I love how loud her keyboard is. I wish mine was like that 😭 Edit: I love this video so much but the only thing I don't like about it is that there were so many missed opportunities to get rid of the annoying adverbs omg.

[@notanimposter]

Hannah pointing the wrong way at the playlist just radiates forth 2007 KZbin energy.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

It's throwback Thursday

[@karosonj1]

Off topic but your makeup looks absolutely stunning! Love your twilight rewrite videos, I hope you'll continue this project soon. ❤

[@corinnefugitt1999]

I love the eyebrow! 😍 "This has been *insufferable*" 😂

[@andrearoberts2663]

I will say no knocking the Crooked smile description till you’ve seen Johnny gauge from emergency (a tv show from the 70’s). Crooked smile is a real thing. But Edward doesn’t deserve Johnny gauge cute qualities so deleting it was a good move lol

[@nocturnus009]

Fascinating that this was the choice for the thumbnail. I wonder how close it was. 🤔

[@samkathryn4825]

I really enjoy these videos. I read Twilight just for this video and your version is much better!

[@caidenmacgregor3271]

I will never tire of these videos, despite Hannah very clearly tiring of this book. :P

[@lsjules2886]

These editing videos are so satisfying to watch!

[@alyssafry3275]

I can’t over express how much I enjoy your editing videos. They’re helpful, yet super entertaining

[@mehuvc]

Great. i really loved learning something new.

[@maddysue3037]

When it says mike apparently had the same notion it means thinking Eric threw the snow ball

[@Soulinescent]

Oh God... this chapter reminded me why I stopped reading the first book. Bella talks and talks and I wish the other characters would be fleshed out along side with her.

[@JCResDoc94]

*i like vampires* . what, i do. i got my niece dracula for her birthday yeste. pretty book. 16th. she wont read it. i havent. Red says it's boring. gr8 vid!

[@digvi6225]

because you said you wanted to hear all my thoughts (no takebacks!) - wait... wait when you edit twilight it doesn't change the physical copies i own?? this is a scam - hannah i think you gave her two lunches??? i know you were homeschooled and i'm from india but i'm pretty sure there's only one lunch - nvm - but.... how will we know where she was looking??? - nvm (2.0) - dear lord bella shut up about the eyes - what if we pronounced it as dis - heveled instead of di-sheveled - have you kept a track of the word count??? how much did you actually cut out. i'm curious - you as edward tipping an imaginary fedora counts as literary analysis - video series where you just aggressively act out all the weird shit we write that doesn't translate into actual body language. - byeee saya

[@HannahLeeKidder]

"you as edward tipping an imaginary fedora counts as literary analysis" a;sdojiwefawe

[@kiethveseyofficial]

huhhhhh???? Digvi you okay my girl?

[@digvi6225]

@@kiethveseyofficial lmao hanging in there

[@kiethveseyofficial]

@@digvi6225 That is good. The pandemic is sort of messing me up a bit but keeping calm and reading.

[@kathrynrutherford1419]

I'm at 8:30 and I wanted to point out that when you took out the rest of the week and the weekend (which I agree needed to be done) she was at lunch, but she she leaves Mike while he's making the snowball one of them calls to the other "I'll see you at lunch.' which wouldn't make an sense for that day. Also, they said it was the first snow fall of the year, but I thought when she woke up for her second day of school there was snow so Stephanie made a mistake (obviously not her only one). I haven't read any comments so sorry if people already pointed both of these out.

[@kathrynrutherford1419]

Lol okay I literally unpaused the video and you mentioned the cafeteria thing. Sorry about jumping the gun on that one.

[@mollietenpenny4093]

Wow, Bella sounds so much fun to be around!🙃

[@NonPlayerCharacter44]

I was reading eclipse yesterday and I hated it. One of things I hated about it was the writing style, though I couldn’t figure it out what it was. THEN due to your videos I finally realized that Stephenie Meter uses a lot of run-on sentences in her writing

[@KandiWethers]

Watching Hannah rage quite Twilight makes me inexplicably happy.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Do you want the PDF of edited chapters? view.flodesk.com/pages/60a6b2262c1a4117de4b7602

[@astridsanimatedadventures]

The snow was important to the scene with her and Edward.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

go on

[@astridsanimatedadventures]

@@HannahLeeKidder You know. When she tells him that she doesn't like cold wet things.

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

@@HannahLeeKidder It kind of gives a reason for his hands to be so cold. She thinks the thing about it was as if he'd been holding them in a snowdrift. But more realistically he could have been throwing snowballs outside; some people's hands just stay cold once they get cold. Mine are like ice packs in the winter, and I'm totally human I swear. If it was a warmer day, him having ice-cold hands would be more obviously supernatural.

[@Goooogle]

You really help me improve my english. Thank you!

[@heidi_asar]

I couldn't stop laughing. This is a better version Twilight than the original. I love the part where you show us how Bella is supposed to ve keeping her head down and peeking under her eyelashes at the same time! Priceless!

[@delphinebp9433]

"see how that's still a sentence and less stupid" Fucking gold hahahaha

[@BlakJanuary]

I have this strange nostalgia for Twilight cause when it came out people acted like it was the most culture defining, problematic thing out there, and now.... looking back on it from 2020..... it's so cute that anyone wasted a second complaining about sparkly vampires. Like, honey, just you wait for Christian Grey's sex jeans

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Anything teenage girls like is demonized lol

[@BlakJanuary]

@@HannahLeeKidder that's straight up what it is!

[@1monki]

But staring is the cornerstone of the narrative. The stares have to be expanded through as much description as possible to give the reader the full experience of staring at someone or something for an uncomfortably long time. The film captured this perfectly. 🙃

[@lauraelaineallen21]

I've never read Twilight. But I'm really beginning to wonder if Bella likes ANYTHING except for Edward?

[@solairable]

Dang! I was hoping you would be able to install the sentence "like a fat man on a water slide" in there somewhere. Whatever this twilight story is, I somehow think that sentence alone would greatly improve it.

[@battlecast3367]

Read "Wheel of Time", it has tons of eyes and is still great.

[@christianvchacon]

I don't understand how this book got so popular considering these edits.

[@picasso114]

Marketing

[@christianvchacon]

Roc585 with a lack of editing.

[@SherbertLomon]

Most of its target audience didn’t care about the edits. The story resonated with their escapist minds + movies + marketing.

[@sanilam.8008]

Will you make your edited version available once/if you think you're done?

[@HannahLeeKidder]

sure, why not

[@weinerherz0g]

are you seriously telling me "it's the fluorescents" isn't in this book? what do people even read it for then?

[@HannahLeeKidder]

The films are a work of art on their own, separate, complete, perfection

[@franknunez7974]

Hi I me Frank I like your videos keep up the good work 👍

[@sailor.britters]

These are the best lmao.

[@Darkri56789]

PogChamp!! BETTER TWILIGHT!!

[@kxrimgh]

hannah...i just got a twilight pdf... and you've been lying to us. you didn't make any changes. WE WERE SCAMMED 😨 very disappointed smh 😔

[@1monki]

Wait, you're not fixing my version of Twilight? Crap!

[@Ovan61]

👍

[@Taifune81]

You actually kind of remind me of Kirsten Stewart...You look kind of like her.

[@HannahLeeKidder]

Oh my God thank you 🥺🥺

[@cityman2312]

To be perfectly honest, Hannah is more photogenic than Kristen.

[@precious3863]

How dear you rewrite a classic. So rude. Pick a new book to change. But NOT TWILIGHT. MY FAV IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

Hahaha laughing already at this introduction