I spent a day with HOSTAGE NEGOTIATORS and break down the psychology of persuasion

[@AnthonyPadilla]

My limited edition clothing line drop: padilla.store/

[@shaw3787]

yoooooo whas up

[@Aurora_Animates]

Hii

[@TheOGDubby]

Yes yes yes m

[@TheOGDubby]

@UC4J7KKPCo7HXXL7W8oJw9tA hush

[@officialvickyp]

I heard ishowspeed fortnite skin is out full vidddd on y charnel

[@stangorarr]

I love how Anthony doesn’t just spend days with people such as youtubers and such, but also people that are out there saving lives and creating positive impacts within the community in other ways. Thank you Anthony!

[@remi_dadude]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh he came in from the side idk what to doooooooooooooooooo. do i need to turn my laptop on its side? someone plz help

[@ferninthehouse]

@@remi_dadude ????

[@ackok]

I agree, there's so much out there so he doesn't limit himself to youtubers and I love that cuz personally I learn about all sorts of people and their perspective in life

[@thespankmyfrank]

These are honestly my favourite of his videos. The youtuber videos are fun for the fans I guess, but these are so much deeper. Wish he did more of these.

[@bloxer9563]

@@remi_dadude AHHHH

[@jacquelineh5029]

One time I was having a really bad flashback from having CPTSD and my boss did nothing but listen, validate my concerns, and take action on what I said. He didn't interrupt, he simply sympathized with me. It was one of the most kind, gentle, yet most powerful things I've ever experienced in my life.

[@JeyHaakon]

Sounds like an awesome boss!

[@jacquelineh5029]

@@JeyHaakon oh he’s the best I ever had! ❤️ even asks me to call in to make sure I have someone to talk to

[@jacquelineh5029]

@@Lynnwozere thank you!!!!

[@sakuraisaloser]

@@jacquelineh5029 aw that is so so sweet. i’m glad you have him ❤️

[@crumblemuffin1257]

Some people really don't understand how powerful is when someone listens to you even if only by five minutes. You have an amazing boss

[@jetbllackwings]

just a personal observation, in some episodes it takes awhile for guests to warm up and start getting into the conversation but you can tell these guys are professionals. the way they’re speaking to anthony, they sound like they’ve known him for years.

[@mcnooby383]

I mean it's heavily edited... I'm sure they cut out the awkward silent parts

[@byunrosie]

@@mcnooby383 yes, but even with edited videos, just the way they speak in other videos, it gradually becomes more natural. in this video, its just always natural.

[@Esmeagolly]

@@byunrosieits al in the body language They sit relaxed and leaning foreward, They are completely engaged in the conversation.

[@pawfectpurple795]

The fact that Anthony doesn't only interview famous people like twitch streamers, and youtubers, but people who help others and save lives is amazing. He brings light to all those people who help others in so many, life-changing ways. Anthony, if you see this, you're amazing.

[@Commentingstuff]

I KNOW RIGHT!!! He helped me realize I was trans with his “I spent a day with non-binary people”

[@JamaicanRain]

People like these always arouse a wee bit of suspicion. Someone determined could make up a whole life just for the chance of meeting Anthony. I don’t want to meet Anthony because we would have nothing to chat about nor do our personalities mesh, but I know I could definitely concoct a way to meet him, and I am not even that smart. I know he said he vets people, but the amount/type of proof many people need for something to be legitimate is…not good. 😟

[@shoe777]

@@Commentingstuff along with other things, same!!!

[@thespankmyfrank]

@@JamaicanRain Huh? What do you even mean lmao. They do huge background searches and interviews beforehand, it's not like you just apply and then go to his studio. I'm sure someone could find a loophole but definitely not in one of these types of videos where the people clearly have long careers in a field.

[@ayyyayay]

Hes done these videos alot more often back then but vids that blew up like the dream and corpse interviews made him do more videos with internet personalities

[@Mika-gu7om]

My city needs more officers like this. Those “most stressful situations” sounds like great police work. Make a connection or find someone with a connection so no one or less get hurt

[@sean_mccadden]

Seriously though! This kind of training is important even with just standard stops or calls

[@janiemaitland2076]

Right!! The officers in my town are great but I feel like negotiation training should be a very big part of being a police officer.

[@sean_mccadden]

@@janiemaitland2076 Seriously though. Theres so many situations that just require a different touch from the macho, "Im the law" kind of additude that unfortunately a lot of cops have.

[@nicemmmm]

For real !!! It seems like it would be common sense for all police to have some sort of negotiation training. Unfortunately our country lacks common sense Smfh. But hopefully one day we will get there, we can only pray

[@jakobmeathead]

Connect, respect and protect. It'd a hard thing to do, but the ones who do it usually do it well

[@abbycotton5106]

When Joe made Anthony talk about Mykie he got so happy and he noticed it 😂

[@oakenshadow6763]

Where was this? Edit. Awe. I found it. That is so heartwarming. 20:58

[@thespankmyfrank]

Yes lmao "we're coming up on our anniversary actually!" 😃 *forgets about chopper*

[@Hannah-uv8hy]

​@@thespankmyfrank this comment made my chuckle

[@StanCat4]

The eye sparkle 🥹☺️

[@SamTheeStallion]

Small critique: love your videos! But always so curious how people get into these professions and what they had to do to become what they are. I’d love if during the profession videos if you add that

[@lemonsplat4448]

Id love to see that as well

[@MissieK]

One said that he was an officer at first so he gradually worked his way there. The other one doesn't say anything

[@Choshako]

Or you could just google the education/other requirements to work in that field?

[@alteregobruh]

@@ChoshakoThat literally isn’t the question this person has though. They’re asking how that person specifically decided to go into that profession, not what they needed to get there. TL;DR, they’re asking for the story that changes from person to person, not the requirements that are required and are the same for each and every person.

[@tutu8896]

Anthony makes community posts asking for questions.

[@TheRibottoStudios]

Imagine being the kid in that situation. Being a hostage. Like. You can't comprehend what's going on. You just know innately it's wrong. Damn.

[@smurphul23]

Just three minutes in and it is so true what the first interviewee said, "people love to be listened to." I have social anxiety that used to be severe and my mom was so smart to tell me "just ask people about themselves. people LOVE to talk about themselves." It gets the person on your side, they remember how you made them feel. Apparently works even in the most high tension, high stakes situations! Thanks, Mom!

[@mariee.5912]

Wise mom. ❤️

[@josse13579]

Dang, that young boy at the bridge... When he explained how school was overwhelming and how snot was coming down that far, it kinda hit me. I've never been that suicidal before, but i do cry in school from time to time because its overwhelming... Just hesring that made me tear up a bit

[@lilmiss6665]

school can be a VERY overwhelming thing. You must be working very hard, don’t forget to give yourself a break & to not be too hard on yourself pls

[@HenyaStudent]

When I was in school I had break downs all the time, i started skipping classes more and more. I know how it can be. A lot of crying in the bathroom, for me.

[@yutastown]

i’ve been there too, cried non-stop and trapped myself in the bathroom because i felt like i couldn’t get anyone else to understand my situation. but listen, remind yourself that while school does matter, it’s really not everything in life! don’t overwork yourself and when things get overwhelming please prioritise yourself over some grades.

[@sierrahtims8595]

One of my friends has accused me of being too understanding. I love listening to people, I find it so fascinating how people think. However, she has made the point that me wanting to hear all about her and others has made me lose sight of myself and that I have no real opinions. Im great at deescalating and empathizing but I have nothing to stand for, besides compassion. Im not too sure if thats a good or a bad thing

[@spanna5281]

I think you can understand and empathise with people whilst still maintaining you're own beliefs and opinions. For example, if someone has done something that's harmful or toxic you can understand where they are coming from and sympathise with that, their intentions may not be bad, however you can still hold them accountable and help them understand their wrong doings but just in a compassionate and kind way!

[@breetoldyouso]

I have had this problem before, and what it often boils down to is difficulty maintaining boundaries. It’s easier to help people and outsource your feelings than it is to look within and draw hard lines about how you feel and what you think. Empathy is a wonderful thing, and it’s important not to lose it. However, if you have only empathy for others and no solid view of yourself, you crumble if you’re alone. There’s a happy medium between helping others and taking care of yourself :)

[@MmeTalinee]

"The world could use a little bit more compassion right now" sounds like a great opinion to me

[@tanie3543]

Even i feel this! I listen to people so much it feels like I've not looked inside of myself at M

[@kate-ec4pj]

it’s a good thing! you’re an empath. i’m the same way

[@6nomemory6]

just listening to these guys talking made me calm down. considering how hard it is for me to calm down even a little bit - that's some insane skill. they also remind me of my grandpa. he was always talking in this pattern. always slow, calm, and always listening. not even mentioning what their jobs are like. my anxiety could never. i would overthink everything i say and how i say it. truly awesome people

[@oakenshadow6763]

You're awesome person, too. I'm glad you had your grandpa.

[@6nomemory6]

@@oakenshadow6763 aw thank you. he was the best and i always want that warm hug :(

[@jazzellmoreira5353]

Please do I spent a day with native Americans!!! I'm indigenous, and it's really hard to find any type of proper, respectful representation for us. I think that you'd be able to approach the topic with the sensitivity and love that it needs!

[@hibolt8150]

I’d love this! 🥰🥰🥰

[@StanCat4]

I love this idea soooo much! I hope they pursue this. Thanks for speaking up! 🪶🫶🏽

[@v0368]

This one would be really cool to learn more about as someone who isn't indigenous

[@-BubblyArt-]

This would be really cool

[@snoway3780]

Good news

[@systemiclizard3101]

My partner uses these techniques on me when I’m having a panic attack. 💀 After years of “I understand how you feel,” and “everything will be ok!”, I never thought anyone could break through my mental spirals. Until one day I’m on the phone with my partner and I start having a panic attack. They almost naturally kicked into negotiations. De-escalation time. Instantly I hear, “I’m not sure what got you feeling so upset, but I wanna help you find a solution that actually helps. I’m not gonna sit here and say it’s gonna all be okay the second we’re done talking, but… I wanna know what’s going on. I’m here to listen.” Minutes later, they’ve got me talking about my favorite movies, I’m not shaking anymore, and I’m starting to calm down. It’s weird how just… having someone actively listen can impact so much. As I spoke, they brought up specific names and locations and things I mentioned.. and it felt like someone actually cared.

[@chelseacarpenter2302]

As a parent of a preteen with suicidal tendencies this episode has helped me immensely... As a 30 year old who didn't grow up with Trans even being a thing we knew about. I struggled enough being Bi, but I still struggle to know how to help my Trans preteen. This video has helped me learned betters skills for if I ever have to try and talk them out of self harm again. 😭

[@babyyoda6537]

As a 14 year old trans man, make sure they know that you love them no matter what and if they need ANYTHING like binders, packers, etc that you will help them get it

[@prodpoob]

@@babyyoda6537 you are not a man ur 14 u a boy

[@wewo9872]

@@prodpoob had us in the first half ngl

[@shiruki8974]

@@babyyoda6537 you're not a man, you're 14, you're a boy. (Wanted to say that when I turned 18 and i called myself a trans man instead of a trans boy was euphoric)

[@strawberrycherrybaby]

@@prodpoob Almost got me 😂 I was about to say this too. At 14 you’re a boy. Boyhood is a very special time! No need to fly through it towards adulthood. Society has been almost downplaying the importance of kids being kids. Idk I just want kids to fully experience their childhoods. I want to make sure my son has a good childhood. And it’s random but my wife just came out as trans, little thread of commonality in the comments lol

[@RyzawaVT]

This episode was pure therapy for me, these guys are the real deal and I hope this episode brings the same feeling of security that this has for me.

[@draff8]

These people lost themselves ang got a free therapy session from a negotiatior because "cops just bark orders". Maybe they could have been helped before, and hostages aren't the only victims here tbh.

[@StanCat4]

I wanted to sit with these guys just to have someone listen and really feel heard. What a gift they have developed.

[@boreduhmtv3430]

Hostage negotiators are amazing people. Thanks for showing us this video, Anthony

[@septicember]

it hurts me, deeply, to think that there are people who have to create a hostage situation or stand up on the ledge of a bridge in order for someone to talk to them and LISTEN. I'm sitting here thinking how much I need that - someone with the time to just sit with me and talk to me and listen to me and offer that olive branch of "i understand, you're not alone, this doesn't have to be how you ruin/end your life". EDIT: thank you to all the kind comments ;-; you're all awesome and i hope the people in your lives value that awesomeness.

[@Commentingstuff]

I know I’m just some random guy on the internet, but I’m open to talk if you need

[@snow17048]

I’m another random person on the internet but if you want to vent or talk go ahead No judgement, no repercussions, just someone who wants to make sure you’re okay even if I don’t know you

[@TheFrantastic]

Same here, I am open to listening and talking, and I can offer a private solution instead of youtube comments, I'm sure the confidentiality would be better.

[@MancFlowerDragon]

Me too. If I can help just let me know. I’m happy to have a good chat n a brew. T 🌻🤓

[@lorettabes4553]

I think it's also because it's difficult to ask for help. These would probably be people who have no one else to talk to. I have my family, and if I don't want to talk them I have my friends or a therapist. And I know that mental health care is difficult to come by in America.

[@9ghostss]

I'd be terrible at this, I'm autistic and I can't do conversations at all, small talk is hell. Props to them :)

[@emmajohnson1751]

Dude same. I am very empathetic but have no idea what to say in response hahah

[@StanCat4]

It’s a ‘script’; phrases you learn. 🫶🏼

[@emmajohnson1751]

@@StanCat4 you can't rehearse every possible situation though. You need to have more than a script.

[@Basils_Garden]

I’m autistic in the sense I don’t stop talking about stuff, and have talked people out of suicide (online) multiple times in the past. It’s hard when you know people are on the brink of life and death, and your words could change how it goes. Best thing to do is just listen to people when they struggle, and give them that outlet.

[@jplayzow]

​@@emmajohnson1751you use a script as the jump off it buys you time to learn them and what they need to hear

[@KayeTheDragon]

this is INSANELY cool. I hadn't remembered jobs like this exist, but it feels so *right* for me. The skills they discussed are the parts of me that I've developed the most. Being curious about people, knowing how to really listen and make that connection, knowing what questions to ask to get a little deeper into who someone is, staying calm so I make people around me as comfortable as possible, being 110% engaged in the moment with the other person. I feel like I'm thriving the most when I'm using those skills to make a difference. I feel like I was made to do this. I'd just need to take an honest look at whether I'm willing to put myself in such intense physical peril. At some level, I feel like if you're gonna do that job, you gotta accept the possibility of being in the line of fire. Maybe I wait until I'm a bit older before I decide whether I can commit to that.

[@snow17048]

Whatever you decide to do good luck I know I’m just some random person but just from your comment it looks like you have a lot of passion I hope you do great things my friend, in whatever you do

[@KayeTheDragon]

@@snow17048 💚back atcha. we came into this world, goddamn if we're not making it better before we leave it

[@shoe777]

You have such an epic vibe. Best wishes to you, you're awesome.

[@teany6181]

maybe if you hadn’t tried it already you could look into being a volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline? it uses the same skills and is pretty high intensity and could help you gauge if you’re still interested in, and maybe give you experience for, hostage negotiating (edit: oops haha just saw the end where they mentioned crisis textline. the amount of training in that is impressive and could be amazing for you. i was a crisis volunteer for a mental health and suicide prevention organization and almost thrown into it bc they said i was already good, but it was insanely stressful and i felt unsupported. maybe it could help to think about what kind of support you need as you decide your next steps)

[@psilver063]

Wow great interviewer but horrible negotiator 🤣! Stick to the interviews. It’s not so easy when you can’t plan it out a day or 2 in advance is it? Negotiators are who they are bc they are amazing bullshitters and can do it on the fly but also keep track of the bullshit they spill bc they are basing it off of real experience

[@Goofarious]

I love how the intro is literally him promoting his clothing brand and then it goes straight to talking about self-harm

[@jenniefrmthebloc]

I am a volunteer with a Crisis Textline. I can say from personal experience how fulfilling of an experience it is. You really learn a lot about yourself and about others, as well as the impact that being there to listen can have on a life. Highly recommend anyone interested applies to volunteer.

[@kitkat-jz4jc]

hello how did you start? i text the number but nothing happen. i dont know why but my heart really wants to do this.

[@d.d.1397]

Is it paid?

[@kitkat-jz4jc]

@@d.d.1397 I think you have to train for 30 days and then you can volunteer I dont think its paid if I heard right.but i still tryin to look into it for more information. Hopefully @jennie nowe can help us out

[@HenyaStudent]

@@d.d.1397 it's literally called "volunteering"

[@sludgiebear]

We are emotional beings, and our emotions drive us. I feel that hostage negotiators don't negotiate terms, but instead negotiate emotions. Any kind of hostage situation is emotionally charged, so how do you temper that? Well, you speak to their emotions in such a way that reduces the emotional state that got them into the situation. You become empathetic, but also want to draw them to the opposite of the emotional state they had to begin with. You're the mediator of their emotions. The amount of patience, emotional balance, and presence of mind to talk logically through such high pressured situations is probably a combination that very few people could muster and handle.

[@christinasunbringer]

Amazingly said

[@ravonne6308]

I'm a psychologist, and active listening is a key in my field of work as well. Watching these people demonstrate their skills in a short period of time was just fascinating!

[@Incompetences]

I owe negotiators my dad's life. He struggled with BPD and attempted to un-alive himself multiple times, but on one instance he became delirious after overdosing and ended up pulling his gun on us when we broke his door down to get to him. We refused to let police in our house with guns, and they compromised with some kind of 'sand bag' gun that was able to knock the gun out of his hand. Due to the understanding and empathy of negotiators, I got another two years with my dad before he finally succeeded in taking his own life. My dad struggled, and they understood that. Thank you to everyone that does this job.

[@ridney5887]

I've been binging through these real life videos and been loving all of them, and this one especially feels deeply underrated. Just fascinating all and important all around.

[@mckai4717]

I absolutely love this series Anthony I really hope you realize how important this series is exploring all different walks of life and normalizing such stigmatized groups of people and humanizing them is just amazing

[@mauvecosmic2996]

I found how interesting is it that they're both negotiators but one deal mostly with ppl that hold other hostaged while the other deal with suicidal victims. They're both did they best to save other life no matter how stressful the situations are. It's really amazing

[@mimibfly]

As a nurse, we also use “I” statements and almost hostage like tactics for patients in the hospital. Especially confused patients, or those who are putting their safety at danger. We are taught to use techniques like this to redirect them and get them back to safety by talking to them and exploring their feelings.

[@rubis5904]

There's something about these negotiators that screams wholesome masculinity to me, I can't put it in bettet words than that but they're super cool

[@mangomonet2464]

It’s the empathy 😍😍😍

[@strawberrycherrybaby]

It’s the fact that they’re MEN who LISTEN!! Instead of just talking over and trying to fix stuff to their preferences. They’re actually helpful 😂

[@slishslash9202]

@@strawberrycherrybaby alright who hurt you 💀

[@C4te.3dits]

Anthony is the only interviewer that I trust

[@overcast_444]

Honestly though

[@kristenjackson4503]

Him and Sean from Hot Ones...

[@Michelle-fz4px]

Right! Him and Trevor

[@Chickn420]

This video made me incredibly emotional, I'm out of highschool and lost thinking about my future and I think I know what I wanna do now

[@nightingalebard]

That's incredible. I'm really excited for you. 💕💕

[@Steve-xo5pq]

I knew so many people who changed majors after being "sure" they knew what they wanted to do. My biggest piece of advice I can give a young person, if you live in the US, is go to a community collage for two years. Make sure that's what you wanna do, then transfer to the collage you really want. You'll save a ton of money and you end up with the same degree either way.

[@cupidsfckedupfairy]

Babe you’re not even 90 years old yet. You have time to figure out your life.

[@lilmiss6665]

I’m 26 & finally started at community college & about to transfer to a university, it takes a while to figure out what to do in life. Don’t be afraid about not having everything figured out yet ♥️

[@shantelleschimpf1386]

The fact that dipsea sponsors Anthony is truly a testament to how safe and respected he makes women feel

[@rubyjulivre1136]

I remember in one episode a female guest was wearing a short skirt and he offered a jacket to cover it

[@shantelleschimpf1386]

@@rubyjulivre1136 I remember that too! I'm pretty sure it was the DID episode. He's a treasure

[@misscrackwood]

@@shantelleschimpf1386 Oh I remember, they switched and the alter was not at ease at all with the skirt! I remember gaining mad respect for Anthony in that episode particularly!

[@regurei]

Back then, Kyle fronted after (I think) Nin. He used he/him- the alters of dissocia did have different pronouns :)

[@TheJonylemos]

it seem that every cop in the US should be like this guys. wanting to save lifes instead of "catching the bad guys"

[@stst77]

There’s a time and place for both.

[@jellis789]

i really respect the bridge guy, he seems very respectful towards those with mental health issues, im glad he's doing that kob

[@misscrackwood]

I agree with Scott, I think Anthony would be a great negociator! He is one of the greatest interviewers there is, he is compassionate, he listens, he connects with every one of his guests. He's one of the few people I'd feel safe talking about myself without knowing him. That was such an interesting interview this week!

[@Diva_Dearest]

Can you do a “spend the day with private investigators?” Would love to get some insights into that field

[@mantis-manthegreat]

Well its a little hard to talk about what you've done when many of the people involved want to keep it secret.

[@scarcat2469]

10:40 “I know what if feels like to wonder where my next meal is coming from” being an important part of Suicide negotiation is so telling of the capitalist hellscape we live in

[@thedudefromrobloxx]

Jesus christ give it a break and go outside once in a while

[@faythhaubrich5046]

I swear Anthony always be introducing us to the heroes we didn't even think about before. Truly amazing people here!

[@CanonicalKaoru]

Whoever did the thumbnail did an amazing job! I love this series! Keep up the great work!

[@Art.d3co]

When I was younger this was my “dream” job because I remember seeing it on the tv and I as a child always wanted to be able to help people and just listen to them - I call it a “dream” job because the job itself isn’t happy or just non serious but now looking back at that I wouldn’t ever do the job as mentally i do not believe couldn’t handle it

[@etherealradar]

Scott did an amazing teaching job and roleplaying. Effing gold star!

[@espurrs]

Crisis work is super stressful & then to add other ppl’s lives into the mix, with the varied hostage situations, I really love the work they do ❤.

[@andromeda8rose]

One of the hardest classes I've taken in grad school for Forensic Psychology was Clinical Interviewing. My teacher played the role of someone who was really struggling and very hostile. We started out with a good rapport but I became too focused on my questions rather than going off script because it was an exam. I normally wouldn't worry so much about the questions as the rapport with a patient is far more important, especially in an intake interview. But I got distracted by the fact that I was being graded. It was a good reminder that you have to always focus on the patient and their needs and goals, not yours. It was an incredibly informative and immersive trial-by-fire as I'll be working with people in the criminal justice system who are struggling and possibly more likely to be hostile than the average client in psychotherapy. Hostage negotiation is a massively commendable career. It's nerve-wracking and can turn on a dime. I'm quite intuitive, but it can't be overstated how easily that can go out the window when you're in a very precarious and dangerous situation and you're dealing with immense pressure and anxiety to do a good job in order to save someone's life, metaphorically or literally. So glad that these lovely people are in this role. They are great at it, and it's not easy by any means.

[@goose7574]

7:55 This one hits so hard... On Nov 2nd, 2021, my youngest cousin took his life by jumping off the Newport Pell Bridge. Our family has never been the same since. My poor Aunt and Uncle are truly broken now. My cousin was so close to graduating from Brown University as a doctor. We all had no idea he was so depressed. His nickname since he was a toddler was "happy" followed by his first name (which I will omit). If anybody is reading this message, please remember to check in with your loved ones, and when you ask them how they're doing, act like you TRULY care how they are doing. So many people say, "Hi, how are you doing," and it's like this automated saying whenever we see somebody. People can tell, though, when you TRULY care and are asking because of that. Life is precious, and you never know who won't be there the next day... make sure everybody you care about, know that you truly do care about them. If they are hurting, they are more likely to open up if/when they are hurting. ❤️

[@Congele_]

Dang, that demo with Joe doing the intervention was impressive! I've got doubts that in these kind of situations people might just go "of course you're trying to keep me talking so I don't do anything, I see what you're doing", but I can now see, just with this demo, how well they can make someone feel like they're being listened to, and to make them focus on anything else. That was really informative and impressive, and I truly love how Anthony does these interviews with professionnals too! Thanks for this great interview!

[@e.pluribusunum7916]

The police have killed almost 1,000 people this year alone. If we could start using these kind of techniques instead of what cops are currently being taught so many lives could be saved.

[@danitron4096]

The police ARE being taught this. Do you know the background of all those deaths? Or are you choosing to ignore that most of them were probably not petty criminals are hostage situations but violent criminals.

[@rondabrown7851]

I learned about those same listening skills when I took a counseling/therapy class in college, they’re super effective

[@havendidit]

I've been a bit insecure since a very important friendship in my life ended, and part of my insecurities is feeling like I wasn't "interesting" enough. I'm more of a listener. I like listening to people and trying to connect with them and understand. Now that I've met these men... the power they have to just make someone feel like "I see you, I hear you, I want to understand you" and how much of an impact that has on these people's lives... it's very selfish of me to say, but that helped me feel better and give me hope that maybe I can have a positive impact on people's lives by being able to connect with them and listen to them. also these men are incredible and do amazing work, thank you Anthony for giving them a platform to share their stories, and thank you to Joe and Scott for sharing this part of your story with us!

[@doublex8012]

I’ve learned more about dating from this video than anywhere else in my entire life

[@sarahallegra6239]

This was a truly amazing interview. Fascinating info, what rare, incredible, empathetic men!

[@DONT-READ_MY-PROFILE_-PICTURE]

DONT READ MY USERNAME

[@janiemaitland2076]

Negotiation is a VERY difficult but very useful skill. I struggle with it on the daily at work and even with my partner 😂 to be so good at it that your whole career is based on not only negotiating but negotiating with someone who is having the worst day of their lives is so admirable.

[@pearsfears]

the way i learned that i talk like a negotiator in everyday life with friends and customers because of the household i was raised in 😂😂😅 now it makes sense why i get frustrated when other people dont know how to do active listening...

[@beakro4032]

Hi Anthony, this would be at a small percentage you'd read this. But I want you to know that you're one of the reasons I took up and study psychology. Thanks for widening perspectives from a lot of people

[@runningwild09]

negotiators are the unsung heros in many cases. Not to toot my own horn but I feel like thats a sort of job I could do well with since Im a great listener and enjoy conversations with people. But then again, the stress of knowing that one mistake can lead to someone dying, would really bring me down.

[@seraphina3093]

I couldn’t imagine doing this for a living. Talking past friends out of committing is far too draining for me

[@maggie5386]

I absolutely loved this interview! this is such important work, thank you Scott and Joe for sharing your experience!

[@DONT-READ_MY-PROFILE_-PICTURE]

DONT READ MY USERNAME

[@Looseideations]

Did not know a crisis textline existed. I love the various avenues you've branched out on with spending your day Anthony. Always eye opening.

[@jabaribrown5608]

I couldn’t imagine a high level stress job like these guys do

[@alynnehayz3514]

Gosh what a good episode. These men really do amazing work. They have such kind eyes and seem so very easy to talk to

[@Fluorite-Fox]

Sympathy and empathy are powerful skills💜

[@seaweedkelp_]

I really liked when he said that seeking out life experiences will help you in a job like this. The one thing that got me through hard times where it felt like there wasn't any reason or meaning to the suffering was knowing that it made me a more empathetic person towards people who have been through similar things.

[@nanicrash]

Wow. A LOT of your videos push me to think outside of my box, but this was one of the ones that totally change your perspective on life. Thank you team and guests for striving to make the world a better place, I think your work is awe-inspiring.

[@mothmaniel]

i absolutely love how calming it is to listen to both joe and scott's voices. they have such a calming tone while talking about everything in this interview. no wonder they're crisis negotiators!

[@pileofgay101]

i'm so beyond grateful that you put out this video bc i might of finally figured out what i want to do with my life. helping people in need has always been a goal of mine but i didn't know how, but now, i might actually know how the way i want to do it

[@jonalee5262]

It's always so awesome to see people with these interesting jobs in your videos. It's like really educating but also fun at the same time to see you interacting with them!

[@cookiechaina1238]

those photos of you wearing the limited edition merch are absolutely incredible?? what an absolute model

[@noimkat]

this video feels really important. i’ve always been curious and had the upmost respect for hostage negotiators, it’s incredible. i was even interested in doing that myself so it was really cool to hear about the crisis hotline too. again, so much respect for these individuals.

[@kadens8248]

these videos have always been so powerful and you continue to go beyond that power to inform and further expand our emotional knowledge. hell yeah dude keep it up

[@finzard887]

Time to watch a vid in full for the first time

[@finzard887]

Only seen the shorts and random clips (Just to clarify)

[@darblo2006]

nobody Anthony: GO bye my merch IT's So good... now lets talk about the traumatising and scary job of a hostage negotiator

[@lindsaybear722]

Great episode. I have a friend who went through this and was spared thanks to hostage negotiators. These guys are such heroes!

[@WingGermanotta]

Really really love this episode, we need more understanding people like these hostage negotiators. Thanks Scott, Joe and also Anthony for making this world a better place

[@wonderlegend914]

If you don't watch any part of this, just watch the Demo: I am a negotiator part. Anthony's skills were on point! But you should watch the whole thing, it's really interesting and you may learn a thing or two.

[@78kflee]

Thanks for this video. I am an ER nurse and these communication techniques will help me so much with dealing with patients in crisis.

[@clumpert]

i love the part of the video when hostage negotiators break down the psychology of persuasion

[@Pink7omy]

Wow. Thank you so much with this video. I struggled all my life to connect with others, so this was the right video to help me connect more with others. This will be life changing.

[@kraziest04]

This episode is wow....! Thank you so much for this! These negotiators are amazing!

[@Gingermycat]

This is an amazing video! Not only learning what these amazing people do but also learn myself how to listen and at the same time take control of the situation.

[@arianagonzalez4212]

This is definitely one of my favorite interviews you have ever done, Anthony. Thank you so much for this very empathetic & educational interview!!!! 💛

[@emilygrooms209]

Very similar to working with students with Emotional Disabilities. Practically every day we are deescalating dangerous behaviors, though definitely not as potentially life threatening as this! Active listening is a tool you can use through your entire life, not just for careers like this!

[@lisa_thedaisy2641]

OK I’m sorry but finally someone that gets that you can’t tell someone that you know what they’re going through and how that makes the situation worse!

[@LUKwufj]

im glad he doesnt just interview e-celebs n stuff like that, but also people with different beliefs, different identities, mental disorders, and those who try their best to save others.

[@emilyb5307]

This had such valuable insights for all of us today! Listening, communication and empathy are all key to connecting to others and I think they’re skills a lot of us struggle with in today's society. Thank you and your guests for sharing some wisdom!

[@stephaniethesoprano]

I agree! Especially with the trying to relate to someone without centring yourself. I know a lot of people find comfort when other people do that, so they do it to others as well, but for me I often find it dismissive. As they said in the video, humans are incredibly diverse and no experience affects two people in the exact same way.

[@colliecop]

Wow Anthony, this video was amazing. Thank you for making such an informative video and speaking to individuals who have experienced this and asking great questions. I am an Explorer with my local department and we got to learn about Hostage Negotiations from an FBI negotiator and these guys did so great explaining the ways of talking to people and I actually learned a lot more from this video! I love your channel Anthony, keep up the amazing work!

[@bilinasmini3480]

OK I’m sorry but finally someone that gets that you can’t tell someone that you know what they’re going through and how that makes the situation worse!

[@Theonetruesona]

I loved this video I miss videos like these where you learn about different professions from the professionals perspective. It’s like a interview channel for the people, by the people, of the people

[@skyrisesenpaiii678]

i love the show "tomorrow" cuz basically is about them trying to prevent people from killing themself but I did not know there was actually an organization about that in real life. Cool to see that people are working hard to prevent suicide.

[@emmakate2376]

these people who do this are amazing and hearing how they treat the people is so heart warming especially because law enforcement and cps and things like that don’t always do much and handle things with care hearing the guy say he built and friendship with a guy who was about to kill himself and helped that guy and went out to lunch with him to check on him we need more people who care about what they do and also who put up to the risk and help others

[@shimmerwolfarts]

We need more people like this in the world!! Good listeners. If we had more good listeners, I don't think the world would be the way it is...

[@kwowka]

*_MASSIVE EXCITED INTRO AND SELF PROMO WOOOO_* and now solemn description of people saving lives.

[@gurp1997]

Hey anthony, i dont know if you are reading this, but if you are, id just like to say that ive been following you since the early days of smosh, and on smosh i really loved seeing this goofy and funny anthony, but ever since you started this show and we get to see the funny anthony mixed with a mature serious man doing these interviews with all these people who go through all these different types of situations, i appreciate that you are bringing all this information to us in a way that is educational, and also fun to watch. Ive learned a lot from this show that i otherwise probably wouldnt have known, so i would like to say thank you to you for doing this show, keep up the great work bro

[@eazy1770]

Joe is really good at what he does at least from the demo

[@vicky-exists]

Tbh I'm having a great birthday cause of you! Your videos always inform me and others on very interesting topics and I think this is my favorite video you've made! Listen to their stories and calming voices has made this kinda stressful day a lot more tame, thanks for just being a cool dude Anthony! Thanks for the 2 day early birthday present lmao

[@schaffs2]

That demo of that guy doing his negotiation with Anthony was great, I noticed how he brought up good things like if he had a boyfriend or girlfriend and making him calmer and other stuff that would work in a hostage situation

[@Vibe.907]

Love love love all these videos you do, the only small bit of “advice” id give to both the negotiators or anybody. But I was told to never tell someone “I know what it’s like” the “I KNOW” part is what tends to trigger some people. A better way is to say that you understand them. But, these negotiators and you are amazing!

[@payntale000]

A lot of what these people say really speaks to me as a social worker and someone who works in crisis work. There is this weird rush and sense of calmness when trying to help someone get through a crisis. It's extremely difficult but rewarding work. 😊

[@TayMcKenzieNZ]

Anthony has such a calming melodic tone of voice, he could probably be a negotiator ☺️ it obviously takes a lot more than that but he definitely has an in

[@NoodlesLikeWoah]

For an episode on the benefits of listening, this really showed how good Anthony is at asking a question and waiting for an answer patiently, without arrogant interruptions.

[@JuliaWells]

scott really gave me a different insight on this and i am greatful for this, didn’t realise it took so much to talk someone out of something

[@HilaryLudkin-Finnie]

I love these interviews, this one looks really interesting!