I Tried The Strangest Official Stardew Valley Speedrun

Posh% is perhaps speedun.com's WEIRDEST Stardew Valley Speedrun, and today, I am going to be trying it.
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[@holymakerel]

"Marnie...the seizure warning was for you, because I'm about to knock your lights out." why are you lowkey getting funnier with every video

[@sarahdougall9535]

For real though I was dead

[@Autism_Forever]

blinking light does cause seizures

[@aleksbst7333]

t

[@aleksbst7333]

😂😂😂

[@Autism_Forever]

Would you say "wheelchair flip warning" was funny?.. But it's OK to make disability jokes about people with intellectual, cognitive, and neurodevelopmental disabilities?.. When was the last time YOU had a seizure? I will go first. Yesterday. When you have a seizure come back and tell me if it was funny for you. You, Seanie Dew, and 1,100 people who liked your comment are ableist pricks. You should apologize to the disabled community.

[@emmajoy3864]

the invention of speedruns like this tells me that the stardew community really, really needs to get their hands on hunted chocolatier soon. hiatus madness is setting in.

[@log6070]

The Hollow Knight community can relate

[@IlexAquifolium-yh6wr]

@@log6070 fr

[@aeronphillips8876]

ConcernedApe just dropped 1.6 bc of exactly the hiatus madness

[@spearoux3184]

“I didn’t realize the bachelorettes were adults”

[@cravonomire9971]

Specifically the bachelorettes and not the bachelors

[@feefifodum]

🤨🤨

[@-karma-2426]

WHAT

[@mgayhart-oz3lo]

you didnt know

[@mgayhart-oz3lo]

ive had a gemnode on the first floor

[@lazy2335]

"I didn't think the bachelorets were considered adults"!? Hold up, seanie thought the farmer who was working for a company for years was marrying children?

[@Code_Lune]

Sp that’s why they still haven’t knocked on his door yet.

[@emmataylor2748]

I hope it’s from the American drinking age of 21 thing. I personally think of some of the younger bachelors and bachelorettes as 18-22 like Sam, Abigail etc.

[@m00rflower]

I thought he meant that they're young/emerging adults as opposed to...ADULT adults, e.g. Sam is not the same level of adult as Caroline. Like 18 year olds may be legally adults but...they're not developmentally actually adults. It may also be connected to the fact some of them may not be able to drink depending on how similar Stardew Valley law is to American law.

[@Tobias.Sterling]

​@@emmataylor2748 I took it as either "not of American drinking age" or not CODED as "adults", because they'd be coded differently than non-romancable NPCs

[@lazy2335]

@@m00rflower young adult is still an adult. It just mean someone who has only just become an adult. Like the age where your legally an adult but don't really do adult things, usually like 18-25. Regardless its still an adult

[@blackbeardbarkbark]

Doing the winter festival for wine is genius. I will admit there is a fine line between madness and genius.

[@Mynanaentangas]

I actually feel silly for doubting him! But alas he is just that good!

[@melliferou]

There's a friend event for Elliot where he gives you wine at the pub, would that count? Just spam lobsters till you trigger the heart event?

[@alteregobruh]

@@melliferouNah, you don’t get an item. You just get drunk. If I recall correctly, if you’re a male farmer, he orders you something different, but… Idk.

[@terminalvelocityrunner2202]

Imagine being Lewis and seeing someone move into the old rundown farm. You leave them a gift of 15 parsnips to start them off, and expect them to bring new prosperity to your town. Then they just sleep THE ENTIRE YEAR.

[@elephorofonius]

and then somehow makes 70k and destroys the abandoned town community center

[@Penguinz557]

Can’t wait for the BlaDe video where he knocks it put in 15 min

[@Chris_Sizemore]

You can get an emerald from the Feast of the Winter Star too. Ultra RNG run: 1: sleep till Winter 1st. 2: Farm root harvests on beach. Goal is bat cave for artisan bundle, and enough to open bus. 3. Sleep till Feast of the Winter Star. Check cave for fruits. Attend festival. 4. Any adult, re-roll till you get emerald. 5. Sleep till you can turn in artisan bundle. 6. Turn in bundle, Keg any fruit, start building bus. 7. Next friday collect wine, buy cheese from Desert Trader. So RNG dependent. If you get supremely lucky this could end as soon as the first Friday in spring 2.

[@mikec4390]

I think it would be more practical to do the feast before you do forage farming, because if you don't get an eligible adult giving you a gift at the feast, that detail won't change by resetting the day (but the gift will), so that's a dead run. It would be a shame to do all the foraging first and then have the run die to that. Only once the run is so optimized on this route would such a yolo be necessary so as to maximize time for the all the necessary fruit to spawn in the cave sooner, and even then the time save would be minimal.

[@5Megamen]

"You buy a cow and you milk him" I feel like milking the bull shouldn't work

[@shlafrock2175]

🫠

[@ekapru]

I mean....

[@Everlucky_Clover]

i feel that somehow thats the wrong kind of cheese......... and what a bull would have sure isnt considered a dairy product >_

[@rainboSnails]

trans bull

[@Jackie89000]

It's white and full of protein. Still works

[@sohbrooks309]

“I didnt realize the bachelorettes were adults” Seb, Abby and Sam all have dialogue referring to having homework, its not a strange sentence with context guys 😭😭

[@MadAliceInWonderland]

College exists, they're all over 18

[@Jackie89000]

Emily references Abigail's graduation.

[@sebastiangudino9377]

But ARE they in college? There is no college in town. And we never see them leave town. Heck the bus doesn't even work

[@GayAssTrain]

​@@sebastiangudino9377 maybe online

[@lzmunch]

@@sebastiangudino9377sebastian and abigail are in online school i think

[@KitsukiiPlays]

Seanie: gives a rock as winter star gift Also Seanie: a muffin?! What a horrible gift!

[@tanyamilley4369]

“Pennys an adult?!” She’s literally Romancable and is a teacher she ain’t 12💀

[@enderr495]

How does he play so much yet know so little

[@SeanieDew]

I DONT KNOW

[@rubyredmint]

@@SeanieDew We know that. We're asking why

[@daiseydoeslife]

Fun fact - 17:28 if you hold your pee long enough you can break your pain barrier around your bladder area - you know that “pain” sensation you get when you need to pee.. you can lose that ability. Of course when your body loses that feeling of when to pee the body can come up with alternative ways to tell you you need to pee- for example .. itchy gums :)

[@nenna6798]

Thanks! that's terrifying

[@terminalvelocityrunner2202]

Fun fact: someone historically died by holding it too long, resulting in a ruptured bladder, and their inability to pee whatsoever. For obvious reasons, neither of those latter two results are going to help keep you out of a casket.

[@SomeRandoDum]

I think I already did that 😶

[@rebeccajeane8287]

I still get pain, like when I wake up in the morning after drinking too much water before going to sleep, but now I also get nausea. Actually nausea is my body's response to most things. I hate it here. Lol

[@daiseydoeslife]

@@terminalvelocityrunner2202 ohh yeah I remember there was a radio station that held a competition where whoever could hold their pee the longest won tickets or something to an event. A women ended up dying from holding her pee in to try and win that competition.

[@DarkShard5728]

Inaccurate, speedrun doesn't require stealing any centuries old artifacts.

[@MellowDad]

it does if you’re doing britishmuseum%

[@DarkShard5728]

@@MellowDad Neat. Why isn't this included in this speedrun, though? And also making bland food after stealing the most luxurious spices (stealing an expensive crop from a trash can or being sent one in the mail) and also stabbing someone with a knife (kill an enemy with a dagger.)

[@qq1582]

02:16 Seanie trying to be extra posh by imitating a british accent but ending up imitating COCKNEY is just HYSTERICAL

[@jess_isalwaysconfused]

Seanie already has the voice of a fancy posh man

[@oh4ok]

So true!

[@mimimimiamdemi]

You know when seanie uploads its gonna be good or more chaotic than marnies and mayor lewis relationship

[@gungle2595]

"I didn't think the bachelorettes were adults" WHAT IN THE HYUCK IS THIS

[@aussiejo5764]

I think he meant American drinking age

[@soup4761]

im guessing he thought adult referred to only the non marriage candidates like caroline, clint, pam etc..

[@CariYRichardson]

When I saw Vincent walking up for the gift exchange, I literally yelled 🤣🤣🤣

[@Max-sk2kt]

You deserve to get clowned on for thinking penny is a child bffr 😭

[@kelseywu3723]

Seanie doing the pee your pants % was an unexpected turn

[@Dark_Phantom2737]

You should have talked to Marnie the day before the festival, so when you reset the day of the festival you don't waste time talking to Marnie every reset

[@EclipseDoesArt]

Yankee Doodle was quite possibly the funniest possible music choice for Dapper Seanie

[@KeeleTasume]

Such a rng run. But if all cylinders fire perfectly i think it could easily be wr pace setter

[@NiGHTSIntoMemes]

2:10 The Psychonauts shout out caught me legitimately off guard. You have _impeccable_ taste.

[@maytefarias789]

“I don’t feel like a dapper gentleman, I feel like a dumb idiot”

[@ieshavasquez3987]

"I didnt realize *the bachelorettes* we're *adults* "

[@summerwatson3794]

As a British person, that British accent honestly sounds like most people who mumbled their words where I live 😂 I’m honestly impressed 😂😂😂

[@rainbowducky2546]

>clay farm >get clay >"CLAY?? "

[@launderine]

should be called "france%"

[@artscotthoch]

This is an all timer dude. Love the monocle, great job!

[@saxumbonum]

At the start of this video, I naively assumed it would be faster to reach level 6 farming and just harass Sandy for milk than to hope an emeral node would spawn first day.

[@Sarah-slays10]

13:33 you just bought honey from the traveling cart when your not supposed to buy anything from the traveling cart!

[@david2869]

It might be faster to buy and plant fruit trees and sleep until they grow so you can get the six fruits you need. Can you plant fruit trees at the bus stop?

[@Jord_loves_men]

i LoVe ThE cHaEs AnD wInE 🧀🧀🍾🍾

[@Mori_oop]

“She’s like twelve” SIR SIR YOU CAN MARRY HER. I don’t think mr ape condones child marriage

[@MoonstoneDani]

Sir Sean, Resident of Stardew Valley (And very posh gentleman)

[@feefifodum]

I can’t tell you how badly I need to hear Seanie say “We ordered the Among Us potion from the DarkWeb. And supposedly when you drink this Among Us potion. At 3 a.m. you turn into the Impostor from Among Us“ in his KZbinr voice

[@NachoMountDewCat]

Congrats, you confessed that you have married adults thinking that they were children.

[@jillianholderfield1295]

I’m sorry. You thought Concerned Ape created a game where you can marry children????

[@LaCrownedGamer]

I am assuming he meant like drinking age. Honestly, Elliot and Shane seem like the only two older ones in the dating pool. The others look around early 20s. All other adults that are married or off limits are definitely older in comparison.

[@brandealda5868]

​@@LaCrownedGamerHarvey's definitely older considered that he's a doctor and has been for a while

[@LaCrownedGamer]

@@brandealda5868 Honestly I keep forgetting about poor harvey! I need to romance him one of these days XD

[@brandealda5868]

@@LaCrownedGamer definitely, he's one of my favourites

[@GETOUTOFMYSKINNNNNNNN]

ik this was 6 months ago but dude do u not know what sarcasm is omll 😭😭

[@BraydenWiley-bk1cf]

“Seanie my dog keeps farting on stream can you tell him to dapper up?”😂 your twitch chat was crazy

[@casarooo5704]

I was playing through the feast of the winter star while watching this and I got wine hahaha

[@SomeRandoDum]

Honestly, when I seen the bachelorettes and some bachelors, I thought they were kids. Especially Maru. She looks 15. And don't get me wrong with the guys either. Even if they are over 18, they don't seem ready for marriage

[@strawberrylemonadelioness]

Now all you need is the gold clock to show off your riches.

[@Hexan.]

seanie this thumbnail is atrocious and im all for it

[@cloverbelle8008]

This stream was the best to be apart of so much chaos

[@pietrasantos7966]

i like how penny its literally a kindergarden teacher and he says "i think she is a child"

[@whalestudios863]

I love how nobodys talking about how similar the wizard looks to the governor

[@marypanfil2097]

I bet you hold the world record for fastest character creation

[@jng5252]

I was about to scroll past, but I quickly caught the thumbnail, and for a moment I thought he was eating a baby

[@daniellet4218]

dying at "lets see what happens... when we electrocute... that goo"

[@DeadlyPL]

Leah gave me wine as my wife for new years eve. Don't know how common that is, but an idea nontheless.

[@birichinaxox9937]

Having to get the top hat would be the cherry on top

[@6stones666]

Weird thing to bring up but im a huge psychonaut fan and that one small reference to it at the start of the video made me flinch from shock and excitement wish I was kidding

[@sarahwalker-palin4507]

Has a notification and instantly clicks on video because it’s seanie 😂

[@jeshincase]

a seanie speedrun without clay farming?? (seanie started to dig snowy sand) nevermind classic seanie

[@awesometomxd]

Seanie you arent old enough to drink wine

[@nicholasfederico1448]

Speedrun for Wine and Cheese... I could not have guessed how he was going to do it, speedrunners are insane. 😂

[@amitor6960]

I've been watching videos on 1.75 a lot recently (it helps my brain get used to this speed because I'm trying to speedrun 3 month if university in 1 month), I highly recommend watching speedrun videos on 1.75 or 2 speed, it's incredible

[@soda-pops]

Seanie not realizing Penny is an adult XD

[@serenitywingss]

YOU HAVE CHILDREN WITH THE BACHELORETTES, SEANIE!

[@ericwollam5532]

9:50 Joke's on you seanie, I come here because i like hearing the sound of your voice. Duh

[@TaintedKeeper]

(Real spec dance) You are an Isaac player we know what you are thinking of

[@spoopy4826]

U make ny days better seanieeee rewatching everything while playing my Stardew mwihihihi

[@dakotadiesalot9817]

Completely overlooked the fact that you can get emeralds by fishing 😭😂

[@twigness]

I'm pretty sure at one point my gift for the winter star feast was an emerald, maybe elliot or sam?

[@DognutJoe]

0:33 milk HIM?

[@noone2613]

Maybe you should’ve used the chair skip in the mines to get to the quarry earlier idk tho I’m not an expert

[@SoapyFae]

seanie: i just didn't tihnk the blatchlorettes were adults did... did seanie just tihnk this game had child marriage in it... and was okay with that???

[@Zelda-n9e]

Actually, Sandy will give you milk, which you can use for the cheese.

[@MartinHermans-dw3is]

Nice vid Seanie. I hope you can find some more interesting content to present to us. Thank you!

[@Fish609]

You don't gotta spread hate yknow

[@powerfulshammy]

fishing in festival of ice gives you gold more than you hoed 😂 also salmonberry turns to wine

[@user-cy6zq9oj4w]

“penny’s an adult? what?? no she’s not she’s like 12” 💀

[@TheMonkeydela]

Birth control for mustaches 🫣

[@Funrmunt]

"Penny is a child." You can marry and have kids with penny. Hmm.

[@perri2102]

I won’t lie, I always considered the bachelors/bachelorettes as mainly teens except a few that could be young adults

[@MadAliceInWonderland]

afaik they're all over 18

[@benitomussolini6293]

Yeah i always felt like Harvey is significantly older than other marriable characters

[@micheleperkins1956]

I know i love getting wood for Christmas.

[@happytokito1389]

could you theoretically buy the milk from the traveling cart? or is that included in the no cheese thing

[@AceKimiChan]

with speedruns are you not allowed to do the chair trick to get to the quarry early?

[@nathanwongchinrenntps2403]

Well, there is like a billion gift that is given…

[@actualhyena]

I don't watch channels like this often. Can someone explain to me the purpose of the one-word-at-a-time captioning at the start of the video? And the sound-effect censoring.

[@SeanieDew]

people are dumb and it fires neurons in their little rat brains

[@genesisfrog]

KZbin sometimes autoplays videos that people are looking at on the home screen (muted). Captions let potential viewers see what's being said + also grabs attention. Or something like that

[@kikiohearts]

The sound effects that he uses are from the game he's playing and the censoring is because youtube demonorizes randomly for non family friendly words so as to not lose income he does that.

[@Lord_Ducck]

@@SeanieDew firing neurons thay will kil the rat brain :(

[@Sugar3Glider]

I got wine on my first playthrough, it was a gift from Emily Curious, why isn't the Fedora a requirement?

[@KatrinaDag]

The Ace Attorney music KILLED me lol

[@Jimm0910-dec]

Yet the cat on the 24th so when you reset you can save time 😂

[@Thatonewindow]

watched this on my vr headset

[@Autism_Forever]

There was another emerald in the Quarry you got good Quarry

[@mikec4390]

I am low key disappointed that this category doesn't require you to eat the wine and cheese while wearing a tuxedo and top hat. Yes that would make it a longer run but it would be more posh. Make a separate "Posh+ %" perhaps?

[@erik.isomer]

TO BE FAIR: how were you supposed to know that Penny is an adult if she doesn’t have a mustache??

[@silverfrost4217]

speedrun getting the Dark Talisman, or getting then reading all of the library books.

[@hannahmark6365]

did you know sandy gives you a free milk every Monday? (I think it might be Friday tho) anyway, you can get milk from the desert for free without doing anything

[@wingman2h]

seanie dew i have your teeth in my cabinet

[@izabelamc]

The famous TABS stream ❤

[@Goldenroses930]

this makes me want to optomise the run

[@bcgrote]

Animation canceling for sleep, yes pls

[@yourewrong154]

Seanie really thought he was dating kids…

[@eviecrimson]

I kewp getting so comfused everytime he does his youtuber voice

[@Spider-milow]

12:35 PERSONA 5 REFERENCE?!

[@justafan6535]

I wonder if our founding fathers would be proud of us.

[@kay_jello]

No way he thought Penny was a 12 year old marriage canadate