I Tried to Stop Taking My Meds Again

I'm trying to be more open about the complicated and difficult relationship I have to taking my psychiatric medications. My psychiatrist and I decided to try to very gradually taper down on my meds with the ultimate goal of reducing or even removing the need for them. Due to various stressors in my life right now, it did not go great. I will listen to my body and brain to figure out when might be a good time to try again.
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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness #medication #psychmeds #everydayItake8pills

[@LivingWellwithSchizophrenia]

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[@4114715]

I’m 9 months off medication and still going.❤

[@k.a.2241]

I know your frustration, but I'm telling you that even with MDD getting off meds is a no no for me. As soon as I have tried it becomes MUCH HARDER to re-stabilize. People think depression and anxiety are not as serious as psychotic disorders, and it's easier to go med free. Sometimes its not. Good luck. I wish you well 💖

[@dmgsoultogetherness6667]

💯 twice in the past iv ended up in hospital(3mnths) due to failed reductions or failed new drugs

[@shieh.4743]

I've tried to taper off my medicine for MDD twice. I've found my lowest dose that works for me and on 1, rather than the 2 or 3 I was initially prescribed.

[@zenseed75]

MDD here as well. Going off my meds has helped ruin my life. I've not been able to get back to where I was before.

[@meredithfriday7798]

I have GAD and if I stop my meds I get thoughts of hurting myself because the anxiety is unbearable. Agree with you 100 percent that some people think depression and anxiety are not as severe as psychotic disorders and that you’re ok if you go off meds. It’s because of an antidepressant I can function every day

[@heidifredeen583]

I needed this reminder 😌

[@baneverything5580]

I wait sometimes several days to take my meds. I start feeling horrible then take them. They`ve damaged my brain and changed my personality. I`m a musician and the meds have seriously affected my memory. Sometimes all I think about is leaving the planet. I suffer so much. I`m gonna try my best to stay here and help others.

[@SLYCoopaEatsChicken]

I hope you stay

[@vonjess9]

Please keep being here! We need YOU! It's the illness that has changed your brain. The meds blunt emotions but hallucinations and other symptoms are worse. Reach out and understand that it is a medical problem. Xoxo

[@ameliavelasco8602]

If you’re taking antidepressants, they won’t work unless you take them consistently, every day, and you won’t feel good for many weeks in most cases. Don’t give up.

[@Weld24_CosmicKat]

I'm sorry You are suffering so much. I feel the same way, and know how painful it can be. I too, hope You will stick around.

[@Nancy-pc6sf]

Same here

[@kitty_duckie]

Each time you destabilize, it becomes more difficult to stabilize. That's why I stay on my meds.

[@zenseed75]

Yes, thank you. Lesson I learned the hard way.

[@dyrefate]

Not necessarily. I've learned from each of my episodes so my recovery gets easier every time.

[@brettvictory4606]

Me too. I went off them for a week once and it was a disaster. I was very young though and was able to get stabilized.

[@olive_99]

@@brettvictory4606 you also shouldn’t just stop without tapering so that may have added to why your symptoms were so bad

[@terryabate9231]

I was on 200 mg Zoloft about two weeks ago I lowered my medication to 150mg At first it was tough and now I’m doing OK I wanted to leave room in case I become depressed in the room to move up

[@moxie433]

I'm so glad you seem to have a psychiatrist who listens to you and respects your wishes.

[@ggervasio1]

My thoughts exactly!

[@JeffreyWilliams-dr7qe]

Vision quest last year. Most of psych life have had some excellent providers County and Private practice. Great video on onerous process.

[@LostJedi26]

I had a conversation once with my therapist. I said I was struggling with how many psych meds i was on. She said (paraphrasing) that if people have a heart condition or cancer, it doesn't matter if they need meds, it's just accepted. Her point was that society accepts physical illness and the medications needed for those far, far more than it accepts medications to help our minds function in daily life. In short, I'm on several medications. I tried going down on one of my meds last year or the year before, and it didn't work. I've tried several times over the years to see if I could come down on one or the other of them, with mostly negative results. I've accepted that, for now, I need them to function and live well. If someday I decide to try again, I can always do that. But right now, life is stressful enough without playing with medication dosages. I hear you about the longterm effects, and not knowing what they might be. But the question we have to ask ourselves--you, me, anyone else watching this, strugglign with this same dilemma--is this: With life stress, work, financial issues, relationships, and everything else, is it the best time? And if not, that's okay. You aren't a failure because you need the meds to function. I have the brain fog from antidepressants. I struggle to remember things, and often need bits of either TV shows or conversation connected and explained by others. I struggle with song lyrics to newer songs. I used to memorize them with great ease. My fiance said he thinks it's just part of the aging process. I'm not sure. It's maddening. I used to pride myself on having a good, sharp memory. It's a little terrifying to not have that, or to not feel like I have that. Hang in there. Keep your head up, and do what's best for you. Remember: You are not a failure.

[@Anne_Onymous]

I used to stop taking my meds because I felt better. I definitely had to learn the hard way that the reason I felt better was literally because I was taking them. Side effects, etc CAN be annoying; but I'm so grateful that I live in a time that even has meds that can help.

[@halo8783]

Agree but what helped me also was getting the correct medication. I tried alot and none worked except for rexulti.

[@telena5042]

This is what happens to me. I start feeling better, the voices & delusions subside to barely noticeable and I'll stop taking them. Then BOOM they hit hard and I start taking them again.

[@praveenvasistha247]

Its hard for me to imagine that 50 Years ago there was no medication for Schizophrenia. Yes it has side effects but its better than being a destitute or thrown into a cell or chained in an Asylum !

[@mariashaffer-gordon3561]

@@telena5042 In epidemiology, what you did was a double crossover experiment. This is a good way to prove that you need the medication to keep the disease under control.

[@Fargosportsmassage]

@@telena5042 that is exactly that happen to my son who is schizophrenic

[@filippo8189]

What about only focusing on lowering the dosage for now? You don’t necessarily have to set the goal to cut out medications completely. You may need to find the minimum dose that’s still effective against symptoms, but allows you to experience less side effects. I had to do this with my antidepressant with which, like you, I have a complicated love/hate relationship. The goal of treatment should be to maximize quality of life, not keeping you “stable” at all costs. Who cares if you’re a “stable” zombie? That’s something some doctors still struggle understanding unfortunately. I’ve come to the conclusion that for me personally life is neither good with too little nor too much medication 😌. Keep trying to find the right balance at your own pace and at the right time :)

[@genevievem4899]

That is good advice. The goal could be to take only one medication instead of many. No need to stop completely.

[@mzbuttercupofchicago]

I agree

[@codingwithcrystalhill1568]

Most people don't like the meds.

[@peternolan814]

Hello Lauren and Rob, I'm 68 and the last time I was hospitalised was in late 2007 and I know for certain if I stop taking Dolmatil(sulpiride) I will have a fourth psychotic episode. All the best and many thanks, Peter Nolan. Ph.D.(physics). Dublin. Ireland.

[@dazcaz8205]

I am also a schitzophrenic dubliner! No PhD though :/

[@peternolan814]

@@dazcaz8205 Hello, So nice to hear from you. I got my doctorate in November 1986 and was hospitalised in St. Loman's hospital where I was injected with a massive overdose of Largactil(chlorpromazine) in early May 1987. My life ended as soon as the psychiatrist withdrew the hypodermic needs from my right buttock that first night in Loman's. However healing came into my life in February 2011 and 11 years later I have never felt as well as I do today. I send you best wishes and I hope and pray that everything will work out for you. If you are a young person, and I'm guessing you are, you may be getting better treatment today. It's just possible that Largactil(chlorpromazine) is not being prescribed as much nowadays. I certainly hope so. All the best and many thanks, Peter.

[@lucide9577]

Hello Peter Nolan! I am new to this chanel on youtube and I find the content very interesting and educational.

[@peternolan814]

@@lucide9577 Hello Lucide, Lauren's channel Living Well With Schizophrenia is a great KZbin channel. I have learned a lot from Lauren and I give her my full support. You can trust her and her husband Rob 100%. They have a had a baby together. Lauren is so blessed to have this baby Theo. You are completely safe here. All the best and many thanks, Peter.

[@aaymathebest4705]

@@peternolan814 hi Peter,I always read comments,...How are you?...we regular come here,I was thinking from few days,I didn't read any Peter comment,first I was thinking,maybe you're old,may be you can be ill.....we're happy,you came in the comments,happy to see you....

[@JesusSaves77799]

Hi Lauren, Please don’t be so hard on yourself! Look at all of the major things you have accomplished thus far in your life! You don’t seem “different” to me in any way whatsoever when you are on your medication. The only difference I have noticed is the past couple of months (and maybe that was when you were tapering off)? Look at how much you have accomplished! Finishing school, finding a great partner, being a co-parent to 2 children and having a brand new baby with your partner, running this amazing channel, having a beautiful place to live, looking so pleasant, being able to run the way you do - you have so many beautiful gifts and have achieved so much. Please do think any lower of yourself for taking your medication. I am not an expert, but I think it’s helping you to be able to contribute so much to the world and have a wonderful family! I’m praying for you Lauren and I believe you will be just great! And yes, you are so right. The past couple of years must have been incredibly stressful with Co-Vid, homeschooling and a new baby, so I wouldn’t personally change anything now (but that’s just my opinion)!! 🙏💖

[@nadahmekhlef7948]

Each time my mother forced my sister to - not to take her medication she gets worse . She told my sister this is kind of magic or evil eyes... This is from her culture in middle east country. I think on of the best achievements in scientific studies they discovered medication 💊 for schizophrenia to let people live in peace.

[@catherinebooth9810]

Hi Lauren, I don’t have schizophrenia but I have a complicated relationship with anti-seizure medication I take for epilepsy and mitochondrial disease. I wish more people understood that medications don’t cure us, they manage symptoms. It’s understandable to want them to do more, or to wish for the condition to go away without medication. It can be hard to manage expectations a lot of the time. And as an educated person you know enough to drive yourself to distraction with all of the possibilities. I am glad you are able to talk to family and your psychiatrist about this. Sending love.

[@ReineDeLaSeine14]

💚

[@JerseyLynne]

I agree!

[@williamruse4438]

I tapered off one my meds strictly for the purpose of lessening a disabling side effect and it was successful 🙌 I wish you the best in your future trials with meds.

[@whiskeylinux]

As a schizoaffective bipolar person I once tried 4 dried grams of magic mushrooms and went off my meds successfully for 3 months after that dose. The paranoia and manic episodes returned and I had to get back on my meds. It sucks my friend, I feel ya, but hang in there! You're awesome and I love your content. Keep taking care of yourself! :)

[@JerseyLynne]

I micro-dosed till they were gone, and I never again looked for my reading glasses a constant hassle. It's been almost four years. Go figure! Wouldn't you think it'd be news? Lose your glasses for good?

[@Saka_Mulia]

There's a great podcast called "Drug Science", I think. A bunch of doctors and advocates that are raising awareness of psychedelics in research and medicine. Worth lending your support to overcome the drug stigma.

[@grahamhardie6853]

I tapered off anti psychotic medication I had been on for 30 years between February 2020 and April 2021. I had the support of my GP and a councillor as well as using supplements from The Road Back Program. I managed to do it but by August 2021 I became unwell and was very relieved to be back on them. I wish you luck 👍

[@feliciafreeman9102]

I can really empathize with the medication issues. My daughter always stops her meds cold turkey. Refuses to talk to her psychiatrist, and refuses all of our efforts to get her to take her meds. I hate watching her progress through psychosis. She's 46, but under the circumstances, she's so vulnerable.

[@JerseyLynne]

Same think, daughter same age, choosing to quit, I guess it is very common.

[@boinkadoinkk]

@@TheJoyLoveShow was the biofeedback therapy expensive?? Is it even covered by insurance?

[@Mytommyj22]

Be safe. Please don't get to the point where you try to harm yourself or others. I take a daily antidepressant and a week off of it and I make plans to end it all. Sending you love and light.

[@sunny4lady]

psychosis does not mean you will harm others, thats a very small minority that do!

[@vonjess9]

TWO of my love ones are dealing with this issue. I appreciate All of your work you do for yourself, your family and education to the world. I pray for you and all who have this. Xoxo

[@user-gm2kv3ot7c]

I relate. I actually use them as needed after 6 years because I learned how to get ahead of the delusions and figure out how to manage the anxiety that triggers it. There was a time that I couldn't read, write, or drive, but I'm off meds and everythings been going ok so far. It's important to have people you trust and a good network before you go off and while you're off. If it turns out I can't manage my symptoms anymore I'll go back on.

[@harsharora6113]

Hey even I can't drive or do simple things sometimes I don't want to take meds Is there any way to overcome this?

[@ramonfry9673]

​@@harsharora6113 which disorder? Is there a better way to contact you?

[@HJS17]

Would you be kind enough to explain what you mean by when you say you take them as needed--meaning you space out your doses and/or take them for a while ..it will be insightful and I may discuss it with my doctor if I can do the same as am terrified of the side effects..

[@beautifulragdoll7739]

My son has schizophrenia. Took the holistic approach. He is doing awesome with the vitamins. Without terrible side effects. Ashwagandha 600 mg twice a day. Has changed his life and mine to. When his dr prescribed him abilify he read about it. Said nope. So I did my homework about different herbs that may help. Best wishes to u in your journey.

[@CB-vt4ic]

This is such an incredibly common theme for all of us who struggle with mental health issues! I and everyone else I talk to about being on medication for mental health reasons wishes to not be on pills. But I know now from experience that it's just not an option for me. The only way I can rationalize and feel at ease about my meds is to think of it like this... if I had a disease or illness of any other part of my body, like my heart or my lungs for example, I would 100% take the medication prescribed to me and I would never even consider to stop taking them because I know I need them. So why should it be any different for a disease or illness of my brain?! Is my brain not part of my body? It's possibly the most important part of my body. So if my brain has an illness why would I not take the medication that is going to help it? Anyways that's just my way of dealing with the feeling of wanting to stop medication or living med free or whatnot. Take care, and know you are not alone ❤️

[@mygirldarby]

It may be a little more complicated than that. Mental illness is not referred to as a brain illness or vice versa. When the brain is injured or an illness causes physical harm to the brain, like a stroke or encephalitis, that is considered a brain illness, not a mental illness. A "mental" illness is a sickness of the mind. The best treatment we have for most mental illness is talk therapy, which can be augmented by medicines. Talk therapy can't treat encephalitis, for example, because it is a brain condition. Someone with a stroke will not recover by dealing with unresolved childhood trauma, but depression, etc. does respond to this therapy. Medicine for mental illnesses is relatively new and it hasn't been wildly successful in and of itself. Medicine helps, but it's not a cure. I view medicines like SSRI's as emotional pain relievers, a temporary treatment for the patient while they are being treated with talk therapy. If a person with depression just takes the medicine for it, but never deals with the emotional pain behind it, they will most likely need the medicine for life. Psychotherapy is hard, painful, can take a long time, and people will often have to deal with things they would rather not dredge up, which is why a lot of people would rather just take the medicine.

[@LostJedi26]

Exactly the same feelings here. Thank you for what you said. If I need meds for health conditions, I take them and don't think about whether I should or not. I need to do the same for my mind as well.

[@Sofi-jc6up]

@@mygirldarby Estoy totalmente de acuerdo. Yo tengo ansiedad y tuve una época en la que pensaba que el universo me hablaba. Todo esto era síntoma de dolor emocional reprimido. Lo se después de 10 años y de mucho trabajo interior. Durante un tiempo me creí la gran mentira de que las enfermedades mentales son enfermedades del cerebro. Eso no me ayudó en nada, porque te hace pensar que no hay solución. Cuando empecé a cuestionar esta falta creencia, pude mejorar. Yo tomaba 100 mg de Clozapina y ahora tomo 25 y esto mil veces mejor, disfruto de la vida, y mis síntomas ya casi no aparecen. Eso es porque pude conectar con el dolor emocional del pasado. Lo logré gracias a un trabajo muy profundo, también me ayudo el yoga y la meditación. Y si, lleva mucho tiempo, muchos años de tu vida, pero vale la pena Sorry! English is not my first language Google translation here: I totally agree. I have anxiety and I had a time when I thought the universe was speaking to me. All of this was a symptom of repressed emotional pain. I know after 10 years and a lot of inner work. For a time I believed the big lie that mental illnesses are diseases of the brain. That did not help me at all, because it makes you think that there is no solution. When I began to question this belief, I was able to improve. I used to take 100 mg of Clozapine and now I take 25 and I am a thousand times better, I enjoy life, and my symptoms hardly appear anymore. That's because I was able to connect with the emotional pain of the past. I achieved it thanks to a very deep work, talk teraphy, yoga and meditation also helped me. And yes, it takes a long time, many years of your life, but it's worth it.

[@edward5247]

i take zoloft so i can't imagine the sides of antipsychotics, but i know for sure meds are life saving, they saved me from a future suicide i had planned.

[@susangarland4118]

Thank you for sharing

[@Psychobonnie1]

You are so amazing and strong! Thank you for this

[@brittneyx3]

it's truly relatable. thank you for sharing. 💗💗

[@antoneljohn2997]

Thanks for this video

[@jameskennedy721]

lots of good insights . thank you .

[@magicalfluffybunny]

I appreciate your honesty.

[@kms3063]

I’m so thankful your out here ! Thank you !

[@amalnadeem2706]

Thank you for making this video.

[@stevencooper5132]

Wishing you all the best with your journey in recovery!

[@shieh.4743]

I wish you wellness, now and always.

[@jupitersgarden5097]

So very excellent and helpful. I am grateful for your open honesty and vulnerability.

[@danielled.6529]

As always, thank you for sharing 💙 I understand your struggle and I hope you can find a balance that works for you.

[@sandy4923]

It is very helpful to talk about this topic's thanks for sharing, Lauren!

[@otisberlin]

Thank you so much for the work that you do. Please know that you are helping people with your amazing channel.

[@layotheleprechaun]

Best of luck Lauren 🙏🏻 be careful

[@monicas.4954]

You are wonderful!

[@majdk6483]

I really admire your honesty ❤❤ thank you for sharing your experience ❤️ hope you all the best

[@anaceja7075]

Thank you for sharing. I always appreciate your input, as I continue to learn what my mother goes through.

[@rpink8531]

Lauren- thank you. We need your voice 🙏 Much courage 🤗

[@Athena124]

I take 3 different anti-depressants. I made it to 28 years old refusing to take any. I'm almost 40 now, so been taking for about a decade. Sometimes I think I want to stop, but for the most part, I've accepted this may be for the rest of my life. I know that I don't hurt the people I love when I stick to my current routine.

[@savingfelvkitties7424]

Thanks for educating people. Unfortunately many people need to stay on their meds. Glad you are doing this with talking to your doctor keep doing that.

[@benedict_spores]

Look up ☝️☝️that handle on Instagram she’s got the best tips and stuffs for microdosing, psych meds, dmt trips, psilocybin, mescaline and ships too💯

[@johnanddenisemarsh7708]

You are such a sweetheart. Thank you so much for sharing..

[@sheenagriffith2635]

I identify so much with everything you've said. Those medications are no joke, but at least you're managing your speech very well, I struggle with that. I'm hopeful to God for a relief in the near future. Wishing you well also.

[@brielleanyez7113]

You have a lot on your plate. Just remember to be kind to yourself. Give yourself some grace. Best wishes 😌

[@nurunurh3151]

love your videos, im recovering from psychosis and it helps seeing that im not alone, stay strong ❤️

[@mattbierwirth4629]

These videos are incredible. This is peer education at it's finest. You are a fantastic role model.

[@jenny-lyngopaul878]

Thanks so much for always sharing such information, it really helps. I am glad I'm not alone in my condition.

[@isabeljuarez9880]

Thanks!

[@noreensirianni3135]

Thank you for sharing your struggles and prayers for you and yours. It's not DELUSIONAL you're getting stronger with your Hope's and aspirations. Stay strong and rest when you can, especially with little Teddy.

[@kathybowman7186]

I wish for You the Best ! You have Love and Support that your Life Partner Gives you and You Family and All of Us !!!

[@meganlampa3293]

Thanks for sharing. I'm currently supporting someone who is struggling with taking their meds at the moment ❤️

[@timd8912]

We love you Lauren. God bless you.....

[@visionvixxen]

Thank you for being brave enough to be honest!!!! There is a lot that has NOT been evaluated in the long term.

[@ThatRainie]

You are an amazing person. You’ve helped me so much with your videos and for sure a lot of other people. I’m so sad you are struggling but at the same time I look at your disease as a “gift” and because of it you were able to make a difference in so many pleople’s lives, mine included. I hope in the future you’ll be able to stop your medication and be free of symptoms all the rest of life and then tell your story from a different point of view: from a healed person and continue to give us hope. I can’t stop saying how an amazing human being you are…

[@JackBrady]

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having these struggles Lauren. It sounds really tough and I hope self care and all the support around you can help get you to where you want to be with time. At the moment, due to different circumstances, I’m currently in the position of having gone cold turkey from mine for the last week. Lots of unknowns and worries but at least for the moment I feel very lucky that the changes are manageable. Sending lots of best wishes and thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences

[@unclejay9205]

I love that you are trying and sharing your experience with the world because often i wonder what its like for my brother. I would just ask but i think its hard for him to explain it to me. I hope your journey is a good one, i hope someday it's one worth telling to the world that will help so many more. ❤

[@jellyjirachi]

I recommend that you read Kelly Brogan and her books A Mind of Your Own & Own Your Self

[@rachelmarie2313]

I wish you and your family all the best in this world ❤️

[@AA_AA_111]

You made me cry.. your eyes telling us how this frustrated you Love you ❤️

[@tossed_about]

Really feeling for you Lauren, it's a tough road to be on. In spite of how it feels to you, you come across as much more mature and confident in managing difficulties than when you first started posting videos. My best advice is still to have a good cry when it all gets too hard - being a parent to 3 kids is a lot in itself. You might note that most people I know who have to take any sort of medication for the rest of their lives hate it, even if it has no side-effects. I hope you and your team can successfully manage some (even if brief) holidays from your meds in the near future.

[@ElinneaG]

Thank you for talking about this. Meds are so important but taking them doesn't just 'fix' a person. Hearing you express some of the things you specifically struggle with has helped me think about it in a new way. Wishing you all the best. (And everybody else here in the comments too...)

[@kelseymariebell1357]

Wow. Thank you for sharing, and what a great psychiatrist you have, relationship with, too, and big hug

[@Sirstarfish]

bless you from the highest

[@seannaceleste2787]

Medications and conversations are so difficult to navigate! I’ve definitely struggled with it, I’ve had significantly bad reactions to new meds, but there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly stable while on meds, and the added component of self-sabotaging or delusional thoughts might conflict, as well as pressures from outside sources for or against. Ultimately though, it is a decision unique to everyone’s circumstances. Some of my friends need their meds to survive, but I found that I could manage without them, and still feel healthy. I struggle at times, but it works for me. it took years to reach this point, and it was really difficult the first year without my meds. Everyone is different, I’m glad you’ve made a decision you feel is best.

[@dyrefate]

I think it's great that you're having an honest conversation about it. I've been lucky in that I've been able to manage my symptoms without meds for the most part. Now I use them only as needed as part of my wellness recovery plan.

[@ericgutierrez337]

You talked me into taking 1 tonight. I hope I connected your mind completely. Opening that 3rd eye up

[@DihCastroList]

Hello I'm from Brazil and you really help us to think about difficult questions in a very open way. Thanks a lot and don't give up if it's something you want to try. Why not when you feel better? A lots of love to youuuu 💕

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

You speak so well, with such intelligence and empathy. I relate to every facet you covered. As a mother of three those early years you are still in with a toddler and other children are so intense, such a balancing act. Loving and caring for yourself is such an important foundation, good nutrition, good sleep are also beneficial.

[@sararivas803]

Thank you so much for your videos. Your tone and personality is beautiful. My son is 24 and has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He has been hospitalized 4 times in the last year and half and it is due to him not wanting to take them meds when he starts to feel better. Thank god when he does go into the hospital it is for a short period of time. I just pray for him and his mental health and your videos have helped me so much! I thank you for putting out the videos that you do. This is so new to me and I can’t thank you enough for your videos. ❤️

[@Twinkie989]

Thank you for making this video. A lot of times, when I see you taking your meds and seeming to do so well, I feel guilty because I can't do the same. It is nice to see the reality of your struggle- just to know it is normal.

[@tnvoljr]

I’m pulling for you and will include you in my daily prayers. Our son is struggling and has cycled on an off for 3 years. The journey back keeps getting longer. You help me.

[@junipersages]

I am a mental health care provider and I just wanted to say that it is so, SO common for people with schizophrenia specifically to want to stop taking their meds--this usually happens when they start to feel better. Then they think they are cured or don't need medication anymore and go off, then have another psychotic episode. It becomes a cycle. I have sympathy however as I know that the side effects for anti psychotics can be significant.

[@ace.of.space.]

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with this. Thank you for being open about the nuances of medications. I personally react negatively to the idea of tapering off my antidepressants because multiple members of my family have told me I "should" be trying to stop being on psychiatric medication. So my policy is a bit of the oversimplified "am I stable on meds? check" that you mentioned. I did have to lower one medication because of a side effect and it fortunately worked out okay, though I was dealing with extra fatigue and it seems to be that I still just need more sleep than I did on the higher dose. So that's the compromise I have to live with now. Overall, I'm very grateful to have the medications and to be stable.

[@barbaraadelman2391]

You have such courage, Lauren. And your videos are a comfort to all of those who struggle - no matter how severe or complex the illness. I find it terribly difficult to discuss meds (really of any kind) with others because often one camp says almost in an accusatory manner, "why are you taking xyz....your life will be better with nothing, just try harder (yeah, right...)", and those who push even more meds. So often a complete lack of understanding is at the at the heart of their beliefs, and it can be infuriating. I wish you well in doing what's right for you!

[@nathanforrest3483]

Best wishes to you !

[@MypronounIsKing]

I love you and your beautiful self Loren- I feel the same way about taking medication man. It hurts to have to accept “losing” part of yourself to supposedly improve another. ESP hard when your judgement is flawed like it may be with mental health disorders.

[@beautifulbunny10]

I always cry during and after watching your videos. You are doing great dear inspite of antipsychotics..

[@pvrunner8]

I can definitely relate. I have bipolar II disorder and I've been taking medications for it for over 8 years now. The first medication I was on, a mood stabilizer, worked and brought me down from hypomania within a matter of weeks. But then I became depressed. And then I had an allergic reaction to that medication with painfully, itchy hives all over my body. So I had to ditch that medication. And over the last 8+ years, I've been on 26 different psychiatric medications in various combinations including atypical antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, antidepressants, stimulants, and benzodiazepines among others. The side effects from these medications have ranged from mild to intolerable. And there was one medication, an atypical antipsychotic, that seemed to be the most effective at treating my depression that I was on but kept trying to get off, because while its side effects (mainly somnolence and weight gain) were tolerable, they were very frustrating. I know how tough it can be weighing the pro's and con's of various medications and dealing with bad side effects. Over the last 2 years I did transcranial magnetic stimulation, ketamine, and ECT. I'm with the best psychiatrist I've ever had and I'm now on the only mood stabilizer that seemed plausible for me to try at this point, a high dose of an MAOI, and Xanax. This MAOI has been more effective than any other treatment for my depression. And thankfully the side effects all seem fairly mild. After 8 years of serious, incapacitating depression with ups and downs, I feel more optimistic about my future than at any point in the last 8 years, though I'm still coming out of this depression/period of severe anxiety. I wish you luck in finding the best treatment regimen for you.

[@elizabethconroy7665]

Well done you

[@mariashaffer-gordon3561]

If you don't mind answering a personal question, did you find transcranial magnetic stimulation to be helpful? I've seen contradictory information on its helpfulness for auditory hallucinations.

[@pvrunner8]

@@mariashaffer-gordon3561 TMS was ultimately not effective for me. I haven't heard about its use for auditory hallucinations.

[@rocketmantheone]

Keep getting better! Just know that you matter, you’re not alone and we love you!

[@myrmexi_mien]

really feel this. i've had a lot of negative thoughts about medication in the past, and though i'm finally on an antidepressant that works, i find it difficult to make peace with entirely. much love, may your peace of mind be longlasting. 💙

[@evecleroux8368]

Love and support. Life and mental health is complicated. That sounds like platitudes but it isn't...roads become trails and side roads,...sometimes they become backstreets and side roads...sometimes they become whole new highways or they go back to familiar roads andntrails. No matter what its a journey and thank goodness you learn something new with every step. We grow in unexpected ways every day.

[@username58482]

Please please please keep us updating on how your are feeling! I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you’ll be able to do want you want to do without risk. But I’m a little scared. In your past videos you shared your experience with trying to take off your meds and how it never ended well, and you were telling that in the end you realized that you HAVE to take them for yourself and for your family. And now your are trying again. But I know how horrible side effects can be sometimes and I know this desire to be free from them. So once again, good luck! And be safe.

[@gr8catsby]

Lauren, I so appreciate your videos!!! I have a family member who went off his meds completely several months ago and has been on the psych ward since Feb 3. He's got schizoaffective disorder, and also anosognosia - no insight into his illness and how much it disrupts his life. When he gets out of the hospital I want to try to share your videos with him, especially this one.

[@amirkar3552]

Thank you Thank you, your courageous video helps us to deal with my son's schizophrenia condition. God Bless you and keep these videos comiong.

[@jenjencannon3224]

Wonderful insight and analysis and sharing Lauren! I understand everything you are saying about side effects and potential long term effects...its scary. I was also listening when you said about being a parent of a new babe and the pandemic. This is probably the the busiest and most stress filled time of life that you will ever experience. You have been through so much... and learned so much about recovery... you know the rewards of staying close to a team that cares about you and telling the truth about what you are feeling. I work at a community mental health agency in Ontario and I have been supporting and educating caregivers for almost 15 years. I do see people who are able to gradually reduce med dosages and stay well... but TRUTH? They are a little older than you. What I mean is people in their 20s and 30s who have found some stability with a treatment plan... do best if they stick to it untill closer to 40. You are still in the early adult years and you have recently (in the last 5 years) created such a wonderful stable base from which you can thrive and live and engage with so many joys of life. YOU have the support of an amazing partner, a rewarding career and a beautiful family!!! More love and happiness than some people EVER find, nevermind with the tricky complication of Schizoeffective Disorder onboard! My hope is that you can stay committed to the current treatment plan for at least a few more yeras before tempting FATE and risking it all. There will be time to try other options... there will be new treatments and discoveries coming at us all the time. Just hold abit longer... hold onto those kids and Rob and your work and stay the course for now. Too much to lose right now... and I promise you there will be time. My experience is that decisions to move away from meds have better outcomes for adults who are a little older and a little further along in the progression of their recovery story. Xoxo

[@noellesturgill2611]

Much love friend

[@nicholetravis748]

I really like how you described needing to view this more flexibly. Yes meds aren’t the best for our physical healthy. But they might be the best for our mental health. I get obsessed about what I am doing to my body with my meds quite a bit. So much so that I fail to recognize that when I’m not mentally well, my physical health really suffers. I tend to lose sight of the fact that we need our mental health to be decent in order to be able to care for our physical health. I go back and forth about stopping meds as well. I needed this video today as I’ve been thinking about weaning off. Also at a time where I have A TON of stressors that I would really struggle to handle without meds. Sending you peace.

[@user-dx6ub9go6s]

Excellent thanks for sharing I’m with you and I definitely know what it’s like to come off medicine it’s more than what you can take going without rest etc.

[@cindyperez1085]

Keep talking about your truth. Giving a voice to it is vital to one’s soul. I value your openness and honesty. I am so glad you have people you trust in your life. Much love and respect flow from my corner of the world to you. 💕

[@johnmurfadevera]

Thank you for your incredible insight. I understand there are different levels of mental disability and I hope you’ll make it. It’s my wishful thinking that you get to define “stability”, and you get to enjoy it and have a healthy sort of fun life.

[@ainomugishapenlope4439]

Thank you so much for this, I now feel relieved. I am taking care of a loved one with Schizophrenia and sometimes he refuses to take his medication and this sometimes makes me get mad at them but watching this,I understand his struggles. Will trryy best to teach him the benefits of taking his medication

[@lillianlamantia9605]

This was very useful to me as I have a close relative with schizophrenia so it was great to hear your (very clear and rational) experience and thoughts. I have had a number of friends with schizophrenia and have understood over the years that there are varying degrees or types of the disorder and having seen those who accept their illness and seek treatment when necessary in open and honest consultation with their care providers, they seem to have the best quality of life. It seems like you are doing well in finding that balance. Sadly my loved one has a very serious form of schizophrenia and spends much of their time resisting help, but recently they sounded much more stable and positive so I am hoping that with time they can find the right balance and right meds for their needs.

[@fit4u679]

You can do this!!!!💪 God bless you. I admire you!!! And I agree with everything you said about the medication. My dear follow your gut. I know your reality is what it is and we can't change that. You are powerful beyond means. I believe in you!! God bless you.

[@neelaparmar3444]

Thank you so much for sharing, this has helped me too see a different point with medication. I thought it was simple as taking painkillers but I guess psychotic meds are strong drugs to take and I can't really understand what it's really like. My mum has always struggled taking her meds and it results often in hospital admission. It has happened so many times the authorities have tried to put her in a home just so it makes it easier/cheaper for them but assessments carried out independently have said she doesn't qualify to be in a home and I agree with it. I just feel like her social workers are really letting her down and trust has gone.

[@jennifermetler2408]

Thanks for sharing; I have also tried going off of my depression med without discussing it with my doctor, and after about 3 weeks, I was so manic my 19 yr old daughter said she was worried. My brother is a LCSW so I called him (it was a Sunday) and he said it has to do with the half-life of the med. The rest of it was over my head, but I learned my lesson. Always talk to your doctor first. I'm glad you did; it's important. Hang in there sweetie. I believe in YOU! 😊🌹

[@taniahoque9525]

So sorry to hear my dear! God bless you for going through all these!! My mom is going through schizophrenia, don’t know what to do!Meds made her feel worse! But only took 2 days!! But Hearing u say- so much stress, I thought of Abraham hicks on KZbin ! Basically it says how to feel better no matter what!! She helps me a lot! Sk much heart ❤️ there!!

[@auladeingles373]

Hi Lauren, great to watch your videos, I appreciate your effort at making and sharing them. I don't suffer any major mental health issues, but read quite a lot about them. One of the most lasting messages I got out of reading The Center Cannot Hold, the best-selling memoir by Elyn Saks, over 10 years ago was that the fight against medication is basically a fruitless and self-defeating one. In the book, she describes her schizophrenia since onset in her teen years, and several treatments and hospitalizations she underwent in the US and the UK, always with ups and downs that were mostly caused by numerous attempts at ceasing her dependency on meds. She tried to quit meds several times, always with grave consequences. And yet I understand why you'd want to lower the dose and, if possible, eliminate meds altogether. Side effects suck, dependency sucks, costs and insurance issues suck, the list of evils goes on and on. It's a big struggle between knowing the medication is essential and wanting to get rid of them. I wish you are fortunate to be able to reduce your medication dosage and consequently the side effects it causes, and meanwhile I appreciate you sharing and promoting the debate on this issue.