I Try Out A Rose Gold Orient Bambino - FAC00002W0

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NEVER. AGAIN.
Lately, I've been consuming youtube videos showing people trying extremely hot sauces and peppers. I was fascinated by their struggles. Some people handled things better than others (of course) and they're often hilarious. I must have watched over two-hundred of them.
I've never been a fan of hot and/or spicy food but after watching so many of these videos, my curiosity grew. I started testing the waters with "cooler" peppers and sauces and I was fine. One of the hottest up until that point was a Thai chili pepper my neighbor gave me. It was pretty hot. I was sitting there with him and both of us were saying things like "Ho brah this is "f***ing hot!". And it was! They have a good amount of heat but my goodness, I was not at all prepared for SATAN'S BLOOD sauce.
Okay, so it's not a sauce but an extract. It's VERY concentrated and one drop equals 800,000 Scoville heat units. About three hours ago, I dipped a chopstick into the bottle about two inches down, consumed the "sauce" and began my journey into the depths of hell. Oh, I didn't just quickly swallow it either. I sloshed it around in my mouth like the absolute genius that I am. I figured the amount I had taken in equaled to around 4-5 million Scoville heat units. Yep.
Almost immediately, I knew I made a big mistake. It felt like my head was a balloon and it was being blown up with fire. The heat in my mouth was on a level I just couldn't image before. My body went into a panic and not like a panic attack panic, but like a body panic. You know? It was as if my body was like "NOPE. THIS IS NOT THE WAY". I then got the very common "hot pepper hiccups" but that only lasted a minute or so.
My eyes decided it was time to evacuate all the liquids. I looked like I just finished watching Hachiko or at least, that's what I felt like I appeared. I didn't know what to do. I started shuffling around and advising of my struggle with profanities whilst my friends laughed at me with good reason. If I was on the other end, I'd be laughing too 😛.
Next was my nasal cavity. It vomited itself out of my nose and quite furiously so. It was just like FOOOOSSHHHHH, SAFE. But I wasn't safe. I was in peril, I tell you, Absolute PERIL.
I asked my friend to get me some ice cream which he did (Thank you lol) but I could barely do it. My hands were shaking. I was on FIRE and in survival mode. I managed a forkful of ice cream and it did absolutely nothing. I dropped the fork into the sink which I was hovering over. I couldn't hold the fork very well. WATER on the other hand, was helping. They say it doesn't help. It does. It helped me, anyway. Perhaps it was merely a placebo affect but at that point, It was what I needed. And yes, I said forkful. 😛 That's what I was given. A fork. For Ice cream.
After that my body started to heat up. I was sweating and felt like I had sunburn so I poured water all over my head.
The next stage of hell was the poops. Remember when I said my body was in panic mode? This was apparently part of it. The urge was there and strong so I grabbed my large, savior of a water bottle and went into the bathroom. My mouth was on fire, I was sweating, and now my stomach felt like there was an ember sinking down into it.
Once that was done, I sat down on a chair and felt all kinds of weird happenings in my chest. Things I've never felt before. There was gurgling, vibrating, and like...waves of pressure sensations. I thought to myself "this is not good" but I did not panic. I just kept telling myself that it's just pain and I'll be fine.
Moments later, it kind of just...ended. The fiery ember in my stomach still lingered on, though. It wasn't that bad but it was...there. I now have a whole new appreciation for those youtube videos and all the people that suffered for them 🙂 Oh, the after effects (the next morning) was just as if not worse lol.
I am never doing this or anything like it, ever again.
And that brings me to the point in the video about the pain. This happened three days before I had the operation in my mouth which was this past Thursday. I STILL feel no pain in there. Nothing. Not even discomfort. Thanks, super hot sauce :p