I’VE BEEN CELIBATE FOR 4 YEARS. HERE’S WHY. | EXTREME MINIMALISM & DATING 💕

[@Elisha_Sarvis]

I just thought of a quote that this video reminds me of, "My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire

[@Exploravore]

Ah that is really cool thank you for sharing 💖

[@Debbie_AG]

Same here, no casual relationships for me and I'm fine with that. It took until 50 years of age for me to realise that. I'm now 54 and I refuse to use on line dating apps. If I ever meet anyone it will be the natural way, and if I don't, I don't!

[@Exploravore]

Nature is guiding us 🌾✨

[@faeray1016]

Hi. Im a 38 yo sigma female. No kids, no serious relationships, minimalist, and celibate for 6 years. Cheers! Thanks for posting this vid. So glad i found your channel.

[@Exploravore]

Glad to have you part of the family here 🌻💕

[@faeray1016]

@@Exploravore Thank you. 🙏🏾🔥🌕

[@xpsxps1339]

Hello Ashley! Tibetian monks and other monks too live in celibacy all their lives and (I guess...) nobody considers them crazy, unauthentic, or unhinged in any other way. Celibacy is definitely a more authentic solution than being in a relationship where you need to pretend to yourself and mainly to others that you are happy being there. That's sick to me, but "society," I guess solely for the materialistic/economic reasons (reproduction) considers it to be the "right thing." You are fine, Ashley; your life belongs to you and nobody should even say a word about how you live unless you harm somebody, which obviously is not the case in your case🙂! Love your channel - informative, authentic, believable content! I hope it will grow and spread becoming more mainstream than a fringe - we all deserve to live freely, fully, and happily!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for these words my friend 🙏🏻🌸

[@jeremytorgersen]

Great video, relatable, thank you for sharing! I am 41 and have spent the majority of my adult life solo. I am rather disillusioned with society's focus on quantity over quality, rather than quality over quantity in relationships...and essentially every other category and area of life. I am also open to a beautiful, quality connection...but it seems so rare right now. I would rather be alone and enjoy my own peace and solitude that I have worked hard to become a better friend to myself than just randomly be in a relationship that isn't mutually beneficial for both people.

[@Exploravore]

Yes I totally agree 🩷🌸

[@blondewriter99]

I got out of a relationship after a decade & I had never been on apps before or really dated at all for that matter. It was quite shocking. Man after man after man expected sex on date one... if they REALLY liked you, perhaps they would very gallantly wait until date 2. But if you didn't go to bed by date 3, they would disappear... and often act annoyed, as if they were entitled to it. Never mind that I would always pay my way on the dates as well so this wasn't an expectation! I don't know who is raising these men but it also told me that this must be a fairly successful approach for them or they wouldn't keep doing it.

[@Exploravore]

Yes is the same here in California. Seven layers of ick. I still believe in real connection and that there are men out there also seeking this, it’s just not going to be instantly found on an app…

[@lauraaroundtheworld]

You‘re not alone with that. But in our „dating app age“ not many would talk about it openly, so kudos for publishing the video 🙂

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🩷 I had a fear that going public with this would somehow devalue me in the dating market, but F*CK IT 😄

[@lauraaroundtheworld]

@@Exploravore Nah, I think respecting your own values and emotions will gain you that respect from the men that may come along, too. Or that‘s where my mind goes with this lately… Authenticity can never hurt.

[@Exploravore]

Yes 💯💯 Quality over quantity: stand for yourself to attract those who will stand for you ❤️‍🔥

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for this reflection my friend 🙏🏻🌷

[@Exploravore]

@zs-uw2im yes it can be hard to meet our own kind, but I still have faith in serendipity. At this point I am very old fashioned and my heart says I will meet the right person in the 3D world 🙏🏻

[@thepragmatist]

I haven't watched the video yet so I'm just going off the title. I think celibacy protects you in a world where a certain percentage of people have ill intentions. I think more and more individuals are waking up to the fact that sexual energy is extremely powerful and they don't want to share themselves with just anyone. Harnessing your sex drive does wonders and clears your head. Am looking forward to watching this.

[@Exploravore]

Agree 💯💯❤️‍🔥

[@kylreckamp]

I agree with what you’re saying. I wish I had waited for intimacy up until I met my husband. It makes me sad to think about the men I gave my heart to, just trying to make them like me more. Ugh. Shoulda coulda woulda. Ha

[@Exploravore]

It’s how we learn and grow 💚

[@Thesignarizzler123]

I totally agree. You must have worked through your own issues before trying to build a life with someone else. You should be proud of yourself for being a strong woman who knows her own worth and won’t tolerate anything else. X

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻✨🩵

[@jbfinishingsjellebilliau9054]

Me and my wife are vegan and when we started dating,it took 1month for me to get romantic with her,i took my time for the first time in my life,now we are together for 18years😊

[@Exploravore]

Beautiful story thank you 💚🌿

[@Innana-vw6sv]

And that's the problem. Most men believe waiting a month is a long time. It was three months before my ex and I had did the deed. I liked that. We just had fun hanging out.

[@ChaNayNayAnime]

I love how you’re not dogmatic about this whole thing. You’re very human and i appreciate that.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻🩷

[@flufftronable]

This is a very important video, and it is more common that we are led to believe. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.

[@Exploravore]

You are welcome 🙏🏻🌾

[@minimalist_monk]

8yrs Celibate for me. God has filled me up. Although I do fight the lust, another human is not needed. If you find it fantastic, but you don’t need it.

[@Exploravore]

Glad you have found peace 🙏🏻

[@organicallysharon1870]

I’m 61 and it’s been 5 years for me. Everything about this video is spot on 🎯 So much wisdom ✨

[@elevate23]

It is challenging for sure. I’ve had periods of celibacy since my divorce. Dating apps suck, I’m not a drinker or bar person and like you, I feel the right person will be revealed with no trying.

[@melissalee333]

Thank you for posting. It’s actually very refreshing. I am in a place in my life that I am ready to be alone. I’m exhausted from taking care of people. I got married at age 20 and divorced at age 23. I quickly remarried at age 24 to who I thought was my soul mate. Now 25 years later and many years of analyzing my life and patterns I know we should not have married. I never took the time to figure out who I was. But 25 years in how do I break free? We have a 20 year old daughter who still lives at home. You are such a wise woman. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Many people can learn from you.

[@Exploravore]

Ah wow yes that is a tough one. It would not be right for me to delve out any sort of advice as I have not been married nor had any children, but I do hope that whatever the outcome is that you find more health, healing and freedom. I do believe though that change and growth can happen at any age, if you are open and committed 💚✨

[@christinamarynicolemusic]

I feel pressure to get on the dating apps and find someone but I am pretty happy as I am. Thank you for normalizing taking your time and finding peace in being alone.

[@Exploravore]

You are most welcome 🙏🏻 If they don’t feel right to you, then no need to force. Your heart knows 💗

[@minimalismandmore]

I love that you are so open about this ❤ I came out of a very unhealthy relationship that lasted 8 years and made a vow to be single for a year to make sure I didn't follow the same patterns and to be OK with being on my own 1st. 8 years later and I'm still single 😂 I've had a couple of situationships like yourself but celibate for the main part. I am so happy in my own company now and at peace with myself that anyone that comes along has to enhance my life for me to consider dating again. I hope it happens one day as I'm a hopeless romantic too when I catch feelings but I am done with Fu£& boys!

[@Exploravore]

I hope it happens for you too but that is wonderful you are able to enjoy your own company 🩷🩷🩷

[@krissyk9767]

I've been celibate 40 years! 😜 I prefer being single personally, I'm just not all that interested in relationships. I don't think I can be bothered with all the effort it takes! If it happens then great, but if I'm single forever I'm fine with that. I agree modern dating culture is awful. If I don't meet the right person then I'd rather be alone. Sometimes I think maybe I just have difficulties connecting with people, or I'm asexual? I'm happiest just hanging out with my cats 😻

[@Exploravore]

Glad you have found peace with your path. I personally hope this stretch ends very soon for myself 😅😅

[@hippiechic9441]

Wow I never imagined that so many people are celibate as I've been for 20 plus years. I find relationships hard work and prefer to be alone. I enjoy my life and hope that this peaceful situation continues until I am no more 😂

[@Exploravore]

@hippiechic9441 I’m glad you are at peace 🩵✨

[@YOLO33382]

Thank you for sharing . I have been single for ten years now and 41. I feel all the ups and downs you described!! It is so comforting to hear you speak about that topic.

[@Exploravore]

Glad you found some resonance here today 🙏🏻💜

[@Prizzy999]

As I said before I'm 53 and my last relationship ended 3 years ago. Since then, no sex by choice. I don't wanna have one night stands and am not interested in a serious relationship either at the moment. My main focus is taking care of my mother, no will or energy to invest in a relationship for now. Maybe in the future, but I don't really care. For me the most important thing is to love and take good care of myself. I realized I still have wounds from the past I need to heal once and for all before thinking about being in a new relationship. Besides, I don't miss sex as for me that's something that goes hand in hand with feelings and the intention of building a life together with another person. No casual flings, not at my age. That means that if I don't find the right person I'll never have sex again and that's absolutely fine by me. Oh, and I never used dating apps and never will. I'm very much old school in this respect. It has to happen in person from day one.

[@Exploravore]

I’m old school too- I tried Hinge for 4 days and deleted it because it felt gross and ridiculous. Thats wonderful you are focusing on yourself and taking care of your mother. And that’s the kicker- sex was never meant to be “casual”…

[@stw0513]

This was such a different and interesting video, and I applaud you for having the courage to be so vulnerable. I could certainly identify with many of the issues that you talked about, and I'm sure that it will resonate with many of your viewers. I share your perspective on the inherent sacredness of sex and your disinterest in casual dating. Outside of a religious viewpoint, however, those topics don't seem to be discussed very often. I very much hope that your special person will come into your life soon!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you so much- I appreciate that 🙏🏻🩵 Glad you found resonance here today 💕💕

[@Christinesobsevations]

I LOVE love your channel . When we ultra simplify our lives it frees up time & energy , we then start to truly wake up out from the noise . It’s sobering . I have been single 4.5 years & celibate for 3 yrs 3 mos . Life changing . I absolutely love this way of life . I’ve got energy to put into creativity . ❤

[@Exploravore]

Glad you are enjoying the vibes here, and that you are living your truth and freedom 🔥💚🔥

[@hanniballecter4454]

One thing I tried, is after time has passed and if youre cool with someone you dated, ask for their view of how you were etc. if you can show them you will not get offended, or cauae them diacomfort, just in a fun way, you will actually very specific insights, and the more you can laugh at yourself, the more insights you will get.

[@Exploravore]

That’s an interesting exercise!

[@JessieDanceYoga]

Thank you for sharing

[@Exploravore]

Keep standing in your integrity. I believe in serendipity. Being alone is a wonderful time to develop yourself and strengthen who you are, which will make you a better partner when the right person does come along 🩷

[@JessieDanceYoga]

@@Exploravore Thank you

[@hippiechic9441]

When you said 'disconnection from spirit' i cried...

[@Exploravore]

🙏🏻🦋

[@stefaniewerda318]

I keep thinking that you must be out of topics by now, but you always come up with something new and insightful 😄 I share your thoughts about sex and modern dating culture. I have been single for the last 10 years now. I’ll rather be on my own than with the wrong person, always. Most people seem so out of touch with themselves, it’s scary. They are either unable or too scared to connect with their inner soul and true nature, for fear of rejection or too much pain inside, I don’t know, so it becomes impossible for them to connect outwardly with other living beings. It’s sad and troubling. Lots of damage done in the world because of it, as you already pointed out. I’m glad you decided to post the video ☺ thanks for sharing, it's always appreciated ❤

[@Exploravore]

Thank you Stefani 💜💜 And yes I agree it’s a hard journey to truly do the inner work, and maybe it’s just not the path for some this lifetime..

[@mollycalifornia]

Thank you for sharing so much with us. I have really learned a lot from you and really appreciate your perspective on these sensitive topics!🤍

[@Exploravore]

Thank you Molly I am happy to hear this 🙏🏻💚

[@amandazplace5663]

I really admire that you are willing to do the hard/heart work in so many areas. You are a truth teller and very special. Truth attracts truth so I am certain that many good things are in your future.♥️🇨🇦

[@Exploravore]

Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection 🙏🏻🦋

[@Julia.robokut]

God bless you girl for bringing up this topic, so important. My son is almost 18 and I’ve tried all my life to make sure he grows up a decent human being with values, but so many temptations out there, everything is so readily available, it’s scary. Thanks for sending this message into the world. ❤

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻 Yes there are temptations but mistakes aren’t ever really mistakes they are learning tools.. I’m sure you instilled great values into your son 🩷

[@JennSarracenia]

It felt like you were speaking my thoughts in this video. I’m glad that you ended up posting it.

[@MidnightMinimalist]

Thank you so much for posting this ❤ being single is beautiful!

[@Exploravore]

You are welcome 💘

[@68re852]

Tera Chatelle has a channel on this topic. She talks about self love and the joy of being alone. She herself has been celibate and childfree for years and chooses to remain that way. Relationships are a lot of work and compromise and they come with an expiration date.

[@Exploravore]

I still think relationships are beautiful and hope to have one again someday 🩵

[@Christinesobsevations]

So true … I love my life this way & my relationships & friendships are more genuine & deeper . Meaningful.

[@Ricardo_S8]

human relationships are complex, because each of us, despite constant personality traits, change, feel and act in multiple ways. Combining this with another person at a level of communion, companionship, complicity and dedication, implies courage, tolerance and a lot of respect. Probably relationships in the past were more stable for the wrong reasons, because there was male domination in society and women did not have the same rights. Nowadays there is much more demand (thankfully) for what each of us wants in our lives, whether in a romantic relationship or not.

[@Exploravore]

Yes they are so so complicated, but there are truly beautiful connections out there. It just takes constant work on yourself 💜

[@deatraparks4739]

Thank you Alicia for your truthfulness. I believe as you do. Its comfort and peacefulness, healthy for us...thank you...deatra

[@Exploravore]

You are welcome Deatra 🙏🏻✨🌾

[@thepragmatist]

Thank you for making this video. To me, it's so interesting hearing about other people's experiences because I always ask myself, "Is it just me experiencing this?" And many times it's not. I see people online declaring their celibacy journey but like yourself, I did not plan to be celibate for as long as I have. I simply said to myself that I'll wait until I truly connect with someone on all levels. I no longer wished to have sex casually unless it truly meant something to both of us. As time went on, I became more sensitive to people's energy and I also began to read people's energy patterns more accurately. A lot of men, in particular, simply want sex. I totally get that because of the higher testosterone levels, but I also don't want to be a part of this dynamic, if that makes any sense. Sex is so important to a large amount of men that I know if I was in a relationship, I'd be compromising myself to keep someone happy and I don't want to do this. It's different if it's someone you truly love and are in it for the long haul with, but those people are rare. All the best to you. Keep making videos.

[@Exploravore]

Yes it’s definitely tricky because hormonally, men and women are wired very differently. I do think healthy matches are possible, it just doesn’t come along everyday

[@thepragmatist]

@@Exploravore Completely agree.

[@fabjustfab3264]

thanks for saying this. im married to my best friend and I kept it pretty sexless for 5 years because sex felt like a compromise and i didnt think that was appropriate. I still tried from time to time cuz it meant so much to him. I recently let a lot of beliefs about sex go regarding meaning and motivation. Now I'm looking at it thru the lens of it being something that I know makes me feel physically better, is a good work out, a great way to feel in the body, and it connects me deeper with my partner. Lack of romance, libido, resistance to facing myself, my body, my partner dont have to get in the way. I dont mean I say yes when its a no. I just realized a lot of my reasons for no were just excuses to hide, to not transform, to stay in the mind. Keeping myself from sex for me turned out to be a clever way for my ego to keep me in my mind and away from love. My ego likes to remember how my past experiences have shown that sexless partnerships dont last, and that means that I would no longer be confronted with love everyday, it fantasizes about being free to be all ego without confrontation. My partner is very loving, patient, and kind; and my ego is so bored. I often doubt my readiness for this spiritual path of love I asked for (I consider myself like a monk married to love more than to him and if love wants to use a different medium then love will).I didnt want love to happen thru a relationship; I resisted that part. I wanted it to be thru being alone with the breeze and the flowers. At times, this makes me wonder what being alone would be like. I'm sharing all this here because I feel that there is space here for my sharing, and possibly some understanding and perspective. @thepragmatist and @exploravore seem to be doing something like this from the otherside of non partnership and Im curious if a conversation from these seeming polariites might lead somewhere insightful

[@thepragmatist]

@@fabjustfab3264 I appreciate the time it took to write your well thought comment. I'm so glad you are with someone who is truly loving and cares about you. That makes all the difference. And I totally get what you are saying with your comment. A few thoughts I had because I've done a lot of informal research in this area. I do know in committed relationships, it does seem like many women shut down having sex with their partner and I do believe this is unfair to men. This seems like it's for a variety of reasons. In some cases, sex almost seems like it's a "reward" for the man. (I'm not saying this is the case in your relationship.) It does seem, quite often, the man wants it more and this can create an imbalance. Also, if you're with a loving partner whom you trust, I don't think the act of making love has to be this deep soul connection every single time. That's not realistic. In your comment, you listed some great benefits, including better physical health, etc. Like yourself, I've also considered non monogamy as a way of fulfilling my (potential) partner's needs if I am unable to do so. However, that does introduce a lot of other challenging dynamics into the relationship. All this to say that I appreciate your comment and I'm really glad you have found some peace. To me, it does seem like the other side of the coin from what I'm experiencing (and I mean that in a good way). I can completely relate to your experience even though I haven't lived it myself. All the best to you!

[@Exploravore]

@fabjustfab3264 thank you for being open, and I don’t think your situation is that uncommon. Loss of intimacy in a marriage is a struggle for many as time goes on. For me personally it’s a different situation- I have a strong desire for intimacy and want to share that with a partner and it’s important for me to have in life regularly- I just haven’t meant the right person to share it with at this stage.. As for you it sounds like you are in the crux of a personal evolution and that your spirit is asking for some growth. What that means for your partnership I have no idea- that’s only for you two to figure out. But openness and communication and honesty are imperative..

[@MsGoldilockz1984]

Another amazing video! This spoke so deeply to me, as someone who has just come out of a situationship where I completely idealised the man, thinking he was meant for me, that I had finally found the elusive 'one'. Turns out, it was just the universe hand selecting yet another lesson for me 😆I can see this more clearly having listened to your reflections and your own experience.

[@Exploravore]

So many lessons… 😄 They seem to get harder each time, but they are just greater tests for our growing wisdom 🌟

[@MsGoldilockz1984]

@@Exploravore So very true! And wow, your perspective on modern dating is very much in line with mine, though I don't think I could have articulated it in the way you have. Fast fashion, fast food, fast dating...it's rarely a positive thing. Like you, I am quite happy to hold out for a deeper, more spiritual connection with someone. The alternative just isn't worth consideration.

[@broughttoyoubynmblake]

Breath of fresh air you are, if it’s not meaningful, I just don’t want that negative energy around. What will be will be as they say.

[@Exploravore]

💯💯💖

[@emilybrooks4406]

I strongly believe in the philosophy of how you do anything is how you do everything. If you have intention and integrity, that spans everything in your life with your choices. If you are impulsive, that too infiltrates every aspect. So having awareness can really set us up for a more meaningful experience where we can thrive on our own and only allow what is meant for us into our lives. We don’t have to force anything! Life is a beautiful dance of evolving and it is a gift to learn and grow and allow ourselves to be our best self we can. Choosing ourselves is not selfish. It’s intelligent when done with truly honoring our soul. Thanks for sharing! I’m having a very similar experience and I absolutely have faith and absolutely am appreciative of where I’m at!

[@Exploravore]

This was beautifully stated thank you 💖💖

[@SaraNovau]

What a deep message, I am glad you post it this video, I agree so much with what you said. I also believe in creating deeper connections in love and in friendship. Thanks for sharing Alicia 🩷

[@Exploravore]

Thank you Sara glad you enjoyed 🙏🏻✨💖

[@fim1968]

Girl, I'll see your 4 and raise you 11. Not happy about it but maybe a little bit proud that I don't settle for the wrong people anymore and I am able to be ok being alone. I think feeling lonely when you're with someone is the worst kind of loneliness. And compulsive dating I can't do anymore, probably never could. It's weird, people don't even make eye contact anymore, they're on their phone constantly. I feel like if they actually like someone, they'll just exchange insta or something to start talking there. That's so strange to me and sometimes I feel like I'm not adapting to the new way of things and am terrified because remember Darwin 🤣? Anyway, thanks for this video, not many people talk about it and it can be lonely and hard, not to mention embarrassing. I still hope too but I also know that not everybody gets to meet the right person, especially in our days.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for being so open. Yes there’s Darwin, but there’s also Lemmings that follow each other off cliffs en mass: not all evolution is good ;) These past 11 years must have had some really hard points for you- but I hope that standing in your integrity has brought you great positive points as well 💚

[@fim1968]

@@Exploravore I just googled lemmings (I'm not american or a native english speaker and had never heard of them). I feel better and smarter already!

[@Exploravore]

@fim1968 hahaha yes it’s a funny little animal. I remember learning in grade school that they often run in herds and accidentally all follow each other off cliffs sometimes. I thought it was so sad 😅😅

[@theesilverghost]

I think that dating has radically changed. My husband and I met online in 2011, and online dating is SO different now. The swiping and texting make things seem both more and less intense.

[@Exploravore]

Yes it’s gotten crazy- it’s like shopping for a date on Amazon lol

[@CEDL4072]

I once lasted 4 and a half years. Then, stupidly got into a situationship. I don't regret it though cause it taught me MANY lessons. I guess I needed to watch this. Feeling like keeping myself pure again. Also, I've been single for 8 years now. I survived a domestic violence situation so I needed the time to heal and find myself after surviving abuse. I guess that's why I've been single for so long now. It cost me too much to finally obtain that peace and quiet that has eluded me my whole life.

[@Exploravore]

Glad to hear you got out of that very unhealthy situation, but yes every difficult relationship is a tool for growth 🩵🌻

[@4.eva.21]

it declutters the inner life, calms down and regulates the psyche. that's at least how i've experienced it. just so much less complicated stuff going on inside. instead of being distracted all the time i can focus on myself much more. thank you for sharing your story and talking about it. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for watching- and I agree it absolutely declutters the inner life ✨💚✨

[@kelliw21]

Absolutely nailed it when you said disconnection from spirit. I agree with you 100% and it’s so refreshing to see someone who thinks similarly to me in this broken world.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻✨🌸

[@callmeleni2750]

Thank you so much for this! I'm also seeking a deep connection and the men I met after a longterm relationship only wanted casual interactions (after you think there is a spark and have all the hope) 😅 Not with me anymore. Loneliness is real and sometimes it's a pain to push through it but I have faith that there are people that don't subscribe to that throwaway society. Btw it seems to be like that in all age groups, I'm in my mid/late twenties. Love your channel and your perspectives! 💚

[@Exploravore]

Ugh yes the loneliness is hard but being used is worse. I hope you find your person- keep staying strong in your faith. The more you stand in your integrity, the more you will attract others who treat you with the same reverence ❤️‍🔥

[@annetteaughney9182]

I love how open and honest you are. I strive to become like this. It feels very freeing. I think you are an awesome lady. Love how you are not a follower and set your own rules. So cool! Love and best wishes❤

[@Exploravore]

Thank you so much for this reflection. When you come into understanding of who you are and what you value, being open and honest becomes easier as your only metric of judgement is yourself and whether you are standing in your integrity. This takes precedence over anyone else’s opinions. 💚

[@annetteaughney9182]

@@Exploravore ❤️🇮🇪

[@rayeof_light]

Thank you for talking about all the difficult topics. I deeply relate to everything you said here as a woman in my 30s. I'm also a romantic at heart, went years celebate for the same reason really.

[@Exploravore]

Glad you are finding resonance here 💚✨

[@kkiser7984]

Your channel is my favorite! So happy I found you!

[@Exploravore]

Glad you are enjoying!! 💚✨

[@monikaprakash2645]

I have some experience but not extensive with dating apps, and although they didn’t lead to meeting a person I hoped to meet, people I met were exactly the people I was supposed to meet at that time to learn more about what I really want. I think a dating app is just a tool, and it depends on how it is used. It’s possible to use it in an intentional way, avoid ridiculous casual dating, and in place where it’s hard to meet people, meeting people online first makes things easier. Different things work for different people, but I fully agree that we meet people we are supposed to meet when we are ready, whether for helping each other grow or for enjoying the journey together.

[@Exploravore]

Yes I definitely agree with that- just like money, it’s a tool that can be used for good or bad, but there definitely can be serendipity on there if it resonates with you 💚

[@chasingsimpledreams]

Omg!! I agree with so much in this video! If my boyfriend and I don’t last, I seriously am not gonna be looking for anything. We didn’t meet via an app but I’ve done the apps and you are SO right! I think so many people do them because they are just bored with their lives. I am at a stage in my life where I am happy with my own company. Took a while to get here but I’m so glad I have arrived. You are so smart and well-spoken. I think it would be very hard for you to find your equal! Not impossible, but he would also have to have his own self-confidence and self-awareness. Not many people in this world have those qualities to the degree or level that you have. You are definitely enlightened. A lot of people don’t want to put in the work that you have done.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for these very kind words my friend 🙏🏻🌸

[@agnesagnes5392]

These could be my words ❤

[@melaniegodwin8791]

Once again, you have perfectly described another subject that I think alot of us agree with! I was with a gentleman for a very long time before we both realized that we just weren't each other's " person". Yes, it was painful, but we are good friends to this day. I also feel like if there is someone out there for me, then it will happen, and if not, that's OK too. You described dating apps exactly the way I feel. I bet you were an excellent teacher because you make any subject so relatable. Have a great memorial day weekend!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed Melanie, and happy holiday weekend to you too 💚✨

[@ronh1850]

I will admit - I used to feel occasional FOMO having been together with my wife since our early 20s. Were we missing out? As time went on the more grateful I was to have her, and that we shared so much history together. I decided I would never take her for granted, and keep striving to better myself (esp. fitness). Now, I am relieved that we are a bit old school and I suppose boring too. We've had a renaissance in our relationship since becoming empty nesters. Life is so good with our many shared interests. We are closer than ever. She still has that innocent twinkle in her eye that I find so special and appealing. I wish everyone luck in finding someone compatible and complementary enough that they can build with. There's no better single life enhancer. We were meant to have human connections and nothing comes close to the depth of a committed life partner.

[@Exploravore]

This is beautiful- thank you for sharing and I am happy for you that you have this in your life 💖

[@izabellabosinakis7052]

totally agree with you and if i ever become single again i have the same mindset as you. wish you the best!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 💖💖

[@markhines192]

Wow Alicia that was very brave of you to share that and open yourself up like that. I feel the same way about sacredness of intimacy and that it is a result of a deep spiritual and emotional connection. I was married for 40 years to the same woman and I loved her greatly and still do but about 3 years ago she told me she didn't want to be married to me anymore and filed for divorce. It was very painful for me almost like grieving a death in the family. I had to relearn what it means to live single again. I think you're right about the throwaway society. Everything seems to be about convenience and disposability and unfortunately I think many people look at relationships that way too. I am going to go out on a limb and ask if you are open to a pen pal situation through email? I love your mindset on minimalism and not using debt and sustainability. If you arent interested in email communication i understand. Looking forward to more videos.

[@Exploravore]

That sounds like a very difficult separation you went through- I hope you are finding continued healing with that. Yes the throwaway culture is real, but it’s up to us that are awake to live in fierce opposition to it… At this time I’m keeping the connections here to the comments section, but all questions/comments/connection is always welcome 🩷

[@markhines192]

Thanks, my grieving period was about a year and a half. I am moving forward and growing in myself. I am pursuing minimalism, and sustainability and trying to tread lightly on the earth. I will continue to follow you on this channel. Thanks for sharing.

[@Exploravore]

@markhines192 sounds like the pain was an opportunity for personal reinvention 💚

[@bumblebee_ms]

Just found your channel and I am the exact same as you, I too have been celibate for 4 years (late 40's).

[@Exploravore]

Welcome to the family here 🩷🌸

[@bumblebee_ms]

@@Exploravore Thank you :)

[@soiboi5151]

I have been single for about 10 years and celibate for 6 years😊 It’s just pointless with empty relationships imo

[@Exploravore]

I think everyone really wants deep connection, unfortunately today’s world has created a landscape where some have no idea what that even feels like..

[@katiejon17]

I’m 45 now, but when a long-term relationship suddenly ended at 25, I had zero intimacy for almost 3 years. Then after a brief relationship, I was celibate for over 7 years... before meeting my husband. My husband and I got together in 2015. For all those years that I was celibate, I felt so isolated because I’d see people meet, marry, have children, divorce, marry someone else, and have more kids - I saw that a few times. And I felt... like I didn’t belong anywhere because that is not anything I would have been comfortable with. Even now, married with two children - if anything happened to my marriage (God forbid), I don’t think I’d ever find someone else to connect with. It’s good to hear other people (men and women) speak of choosing celibacy instead of the opposite (which is significantly more common today). Some of us are just wired differently and gears change slower.

[@Exploravore]

Yes definitely different wiring.. I am glad you have found your person 🩵🩵

[@Elisha_Sarvis]

I appreciate your vulnerability on your channel. It’s inspiring, and I believe you will help a lot of people return to their more authentic self. You have helped me see how simple eating vegan can be. I tried many times and couldn’t stick with it. So, thank you! And even though you have done some extraordinary things in your life, you are still much more relatable than the banana girl lol. At least to me! I’m a minimalist, currently traveling in an RV. We are in western NC now, but I lived in southern CA when I was a kid. My name is Elisha by the way! (pronounced Alisha) and I’m a Gemini too! When is your birthday? Mine is May 28th.

[@Exploravore]

Hello Gemini sister! 👯‍♀️✨ And happy almost birthday!! Mine is June 17. I’m so glad you have been able to incorporate eating vegan into your life in a sustainable way- this makes me so happy to hear 😊💕 Thank you so much for your kind words- it is so wonderful to have such supportive people like yourself in the family here ✨💚✨

[@destinywiththeice]

Your beliefs are very real and you are going to find a great relationship in the future by feeling ghe way you do. Keep doing what you are doing.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for this reflection 🙏🏻💗

[@user-dv1nr9bd3z]

Will I be single forever is a question I have asked myself many times .I do not own a Facebook account anymore and am not on a dating app,even if I tried both,and I feel more connected to my values now but.I completely agree on the sacredness of intimate relations,even if I m not religious at all. It is indeed(as I read in another comment) not talked about a lot and I hope I will meet someone one day who shares a perception of interconnectedness and sacredness of life. If you think about talking about other subjects like this on your channel,please do : ) I think it is extremely interesting. There are certainly many people out there who also prefer not to use apps,quick dating and amazon prime plus plus ; ) Ps I discovered the word serendipity (English is not my mother tongue) in an Aniston/Eckhart sweet movie,and love love love it now!

[@Exploravore]

Yes when you stand in your values it can require a lot more faith and patience, but it’s worth it. And thank you for this reflection- I’m definitely passionate about topics along this line so I’m glad you appreciated 🩷🩷

[@madeiraislander]

Really beautiful video, and i completely agree with what you said. I'm in the same situation you're in, but i'm a guy.

[@Exploravore]

Glad you enjoyed- and nice to hear this perspective coming from a man 🙏🏻❤️

[@WarriorGoddessSubliminals]

Damn it girl, you are so fantastic 🇦🇺❤️

[@4.eva.21]

agree! she's a gem! 😊

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻✨🩵

[@WarriorGoddessSubliminals]

@@ExploravoreYour channel is my absolute favourite ❤🇦🇺

[@Exploravore]

@YorkshireGirlinDarwin Thank you so much my friend 🙏🏻💚

[@melaniegodwin8791]

I totally agree😀

[@donpaps723]

You are a single with dignity. You don’t complain. You have good basic values. Most important - You are in control. Again…. All the best from Denmark. Hmm. Get a bow and some arrows…….

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for these words. And yes maybe it is time to get my bow 😏💚

[@thepragmatist]

The dating scene seems really odd and transactional today. Like you can meet someone and you think you're in a relationship with them and then they disappear. I don't think that happened as much in the past. It's really unsettling.

[@Exploravore]

I think people stayed in unhappy relationships more in the past, but either way it’s just tricky to truly have healthy partnership. But I do think the modern world of throw away culture has infiltrated how people date

[@thepragmatist]

@@Exploravore Completely agree and good point about staying in unhappy relationships in the past. In the U.S., women couldn't have their own bank accounts until 1974, thus limiting options. Yes, there was always the heroic woman who walked away from a difficult/abusive marriage but that was (most likely) few and far between. Probably most woman stayed because they felt like they didn't have a choice and their life would (legitimately) be far more difficult if they left their marriage. Once again, thanks for speaking out on this topic.

[@RODRIGODIAZ-z4s]

Hi from Chiapas, México. For me as a man version, my kind of life experiences and points of view are just the same that you are describing. I guess that there are too much human beings around into this process of evolution and breaking old beliefs. We don´t have all the answers yet, but we are clear about what we don't want any more. I believe you are brave, because when you open this points, you get all type off comments, including the offensive ones. Thank you!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for these words, and glad you are finding resonance here 🙏🏻🌷

[@katylaurent7097]

Sorry to hear babe. You're really lovely and exceptional.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you and no need to apologize- life is giving me what I need 🙏🏻

[@carmenalabat8425]

Thanks for your vulnerability it helps to hear how you navigate the dating life and what lessons you can share with us who like yourself are single 😊Thank you I enjoyed hearing you share as always.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you Carmen glad you enjoyed 🩷🩷

[@nataliastefancova5664]

Thanks for sharing this ❤️ it came in divine timing..

[@Exploravore]

🙏🏻🦋

[@lmerjil2128]

I totally love you and your videos and life philosophy. Please keep sharing with us. Your my true inspiration on so many levels ❤

[@Exploravore]

Thank you so much for this reflection. Kind words like these always inspire me to keep going 💚✨

[@lmerjil2128]

@Exploravore ❤️

[@Kymmrodri12]

I hope one day I am celibate . I deals with anxious attachment style. I broke it up with my boyfriend because of my jealousy . I didn’t know that how I was raised has affected me now . I’m getting in tune with my feeling. With my partner ex , I tend to be cold , lovable, I push him away . My emotions are a rollercoaster and it’s fair for him to. Now that I have don’t have him by side I’m get so anxious. I also have stalking tendencies and my ex didn’t like that. It’s driving me crazy I need Toto let him go but it scary. Loneliness kills me . I was single first my early 20’s but I would seek men for intimacy but they only used me for my body and they gave me what I want . I was longing for the love and company when I was alone . I’m 30 now , my brain has develop and a little bit more mature . I don’t one no one night stand any more . I want a healthy longer term relationship and maybe one day I have a family . Your video came at the right time. Thank you for this ❤🎉

[@Exploravore]

These patterns take time to heal but it’s good you are aware of them and can start putting love and attention into healing 💖

[@FelixMuller-ox7yd]

Hi Alicia, thank you for your very open thoughts. From my point of view, you are very attractive 😊, sporty 🎖, independent, have your clear ideas. That makes it a little crazy because if you wanted you ! could choose the men or maybe in California everybody is a supermodel😂 I am also single and am not registered on any dating platform. I have the same perspective as you on today's dating culture. By the way, you can also feel alone or bad in a relationship. It's also a good feeling to be completely independent, I can do whatever I want...if I want to go hiking for 1 day in the Swiss mountains, then I'll do that, if I feel like spending 5 days in Paris, it'll be easy booked,.... MAYBE I'll meet the right partner at some point, or maybe not...I'll make the most of my life now. Your biggest fan from Switzerland 🇨🇭Felix

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for your very kind words Felix 💜💜 And sounds like you have an awesome attitude. I’ve been told my person just isn’t in California, and it resonates. I likely won’t be here much longer anyway :)

[@KyleighJanee9]

I relate to your journey so much! Though I have not been completely single & celibate for more than like a year and a half? I definitely went through similar thought processes and growth in my self love journey. Sometimes I wish I had remained single and celibate for a while longer. At the beginning of the pandemic everything in my life felt misaligned - so I broke up with my bf, moved into my own space (had already started a new job that I couldn’t work yet with closures). I entertained a situationship for a few months during that time, but after that was over I needed to be aromantic and go deep with myself. Then when I went back to dating I had to check myself several times as experiences activated my anxious-avoidant attachment. And I finally found a secure partner! They do exist out there, but timing is indeed everything.

[@Exploravore]

Yes timing is everything. So glad you found a healthy partnership 🩵🩵

[@mialindvall]

Great video. Trying to find real connection on the apps is really hard.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🩵 it works for some, but it’s definitely not my cup of tea

[@anniesteele2644]

Brilliant love your videos thankyou watch you every day

[@Exploravore]

Glad you are enjoying my friend 🙏🏻🦋

[@user-fd7gy9zh8x]

Thanks for sharing ❤ You remind me of Cher and your voice😊

[@katylaurent7097]

I left home at 16 too to be indepenndent. I totally get you!

[@ryanh8764]

Powerful Thanks. Inspired by your courage and wisdom.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻🌸

[@kirsipellinen9731]

I wish y all the good in the world and hope y meet a meaningfull person❤. I'm a little bit worried that I am turning into bad direction myself. As an introvert and lone wolf I am now getting to know someone polyamorous and also thinking to invite people more in my life. I am seeing red flags and might burn my wings but maybe this is something I have to learn: let people to get to know me. I totally understand other choices and mono partnership...everybody in their own terms❤.

[@Exploravore]

Only you will know what choices are right for you. Taking time for slowness and stillness is a great way to really get in touch with your intuition and let it guide you 🙏🏻

[@gabylopez6990]

I am enjoying whatch your videos, while I continue acquiring the English language, explore topics that I really like like this in your today video...and over all, to know an alive human being like you !! Greetings from MÉXICO ❤

[@Exploravore]

Hello to Mexico! Glad you are enjoying the vids here, and your English is great! 💚🌸

[@mdrahmanlutfar]

Super Thanks

[@Isabel_K]

You became my favorite YouTouber ❤ love your deepness and your spiruality ❤ do you know (books) osho and neale walsch?

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻✨🦋 I read a bit of Osho years ago but don’t know Neale Walsch

[@Isabel_K]

@@Exploravore conversations with god is a wonderful book I think you would enjoy it ☺️

[@Exploravore]

@Isabel_K I’ll add that to the list thank you! 🩷

[@Elisabeth.Eriksson]

Thank you for charing! 💕 I am in the same situation and dont want to try dating apps. If it happens it will happen? 😊

[@Exploravore]

Releasing control, letting go, and trusting is always the lesson 🙏🏻✨💕

[@fabjustfab3264]

Thank you 🙏

[@nolasavedmysoul]

Just curious, would you date someone that was not a minimalist? I, too have cycled through some bad situations and am now trying to find myself and understand why I kept repeating those patterns. I thought after a year since my last relationship that I would be ready to date again but I went on several apps and ended up deleting them after about a month.

[@Exploravore]

Ugh yeah the apps are gross. They just feel very superficial and forced to me.. And as for your question- no, I really don’t think so. He would not need to be as extreme as I am, but if he was too caught up in consumerism and materialism and lived in clutter there is just no way it would work. Too different of values.

[@juliamilesaway]

I subscribe to every word you said ❤️

[@Exploravore]

🙏🏻✨🦋

[@thestaz8564]

u go gurrrl !! 😺😻

[@Exploravore]

😼💜

[@mihaelalupascu8520]

Same sister, same!

[@AMERICAFIRST54]

The dreams must be amazing.

[@MelindaMelinda-y1j]

You rock!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 😊💜

[@deirdrajohnson5493]

Sex is too complicated without a long term relationship.

[@Exploravore]

A lot of people get really hurt..

[@thepragmatist]

Completely agree.

[@lifeinkarachi123]

Ap bohat piari ho aur bhtt achi batein karti ho

[@snafu22]

for me a red blooded male aussie, your celibacy increases your value in the market place of relationships. I’m sure a woman with all of your attributes will have plenty of men chasing you for something more transcendent, long term, serious and intimate who still wants to grow and learn along side you. however, all jokes aside, it would be a sight to behold IF and when you take the opportunity for some deep intimacy just to see you bust. it would by crygasms galore.

[@Exploravore]

Thank you for this reflection 🙏🏻 … and lol to the second part of this

[@emilybrooks4406]

Me too! By choice. Best decision I’ve ever made besides not buying a home! ❤️I guess those may be related? Lol

[@Exploravore]

I think so in that it’s standing in your values and not getting attached to something not worth your time 😄

[@TedDanson-w8w]

You're so beautiful ❤️❤️

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻💖

[@reasoned007]

bravo

[@ОльгаЧак-я2и]

Желаю вам встретить достойного мужчину и создать с ним глубокие отношения на всю жизнь!!! Будьте в полноте счастья!!!

[@Exploravore]

Thank you 🙏🏻✨🦋🩵

[@gal1885]

Celibate 5 months and the happiest I’ve ever been. I used to be so gross. Making up for those trashy years now.

[@Exploravore]

We live and we learn 💜

[@gal1885]

@Exploravore people like you are such an inspiration to me 🙏🏽

[@Exploravore]

@gal1885 thank you 💙🦋