I've Been Really Ill.

Thank you so much for clicking on this video. I've been so ill I haven't done a huge amount until September-ish. I hope to be back now (if you'll have me!).
My twitter: @HodgsonWrites
My Blog: hannahhodgson.com

[@tanyaroe660]

Will you go through what actual medicines you have to take and what they do and how they make you feel? So happy you’re back! You look just beautiful

[@rebeccawood6184]

Hannah, I was actually thinking about you just the other day, it's so lovely to have an update and to see you looking happy. Don't feel pressured upload certain content, I'm sure people would rather see you genuinely enjoying yourself. All the best for the start of this year, I hope you can feel more at peace - you're a very brave woman x

[@HannahHodgson]

Thank you so much. I’m feeling more like myself than I have in ages. It’s so lovely that you thought of me ❤️ x

[@da8037]

Hello lovely Hannah Wishing you good health, happiness, and success in this year and always

[@HannahHodgson]

D A Thank you! And to you 💕

[@izzyreads4181]

I’m 20 years old and I’ve had severe Crohn’s disease for 11 years and I’m now on the waiting list to have my colon removed and I will have a permanent ileostomy, I’m absolutely terrified but weirdly excited to get rid of this pain 💜

[@HannahHodgson]

From what I’ve heard they sound like a lifestyle change but a worthwhile one. Have you had a test kit sent to you? I’m really lucky in my area in that they supply you with one to try for a few days, to demystify it. I’m actually feeling more confident about it since then. Take care, it’s a draining pain xx

[@LizTiddington]

You may have already heard of Hannah Witton, but she's had this done and has loads of really informative videos on her channel. Good luck with everything 😘

[@katelefar8824]

So pleased you’re back! Was worried about you, So sorry you’ve had such a difficult 2019. Love the year’s summary. Despite everything, seems you did loads! Wishing you more of the good times in 2020. X

[@HannahHodgson]

Kate Le Far thank you for coming back! I hope your 2020 is great as well 💕

[@cheyennel.7979]

Oh Hannah, so happy to see that you posted. I have thought of you a few times over the year and each time have felt worried about you. Glad to have you back. Wishing you a better 2020 than 2019.

[@Nat_alia]

I'm so happy that you're back 😊 I've missed you!

[@HannahHodgson]

Nat alia aw thank you - that is so lovely to hear ❤️

[@alexisa8990]

So glad you’re doing well. I found your channel a month or two ago and couldn’t stop watching your story. I’m so glad your mental health is doing better and hope you can get that surgery done soon!

[@HannahHodgson]

Alexis A that is so lovely! Thank you so much for watching ❤️

[@nuhuhgirl]

It’s so lovely to see your face and hear your voice after all this time. I’m sorry to find out about the struggles of 2019, and hope that 2020 is a better year for you. Wishing you the best!

[@HannahHodgson]

nuhuhgirl thank you - and to you! X

[@alarasnowfeather]

Hannah, it is so wonderful to have you back!

[@joshitasharma660]

I am so sorry for your illness but I could feel 2020 will be so good for you. I wish it goes really good for you and I hope you find so much happiness this year. You are so strong and I can never imagine being in your place, thank you for making videos and influencing people

[@jbellel]

So great to see you again😆😁

[@Ziphorax]

So glad to see a video from you Hannah :) I often thought of you and wondered how you were getting on. All the best for 2020!

[@HannahHodgson]

ghdgjdfg hi! Thank you so much for coming back and thinking of me. I hope 2020 is a good one for you, also.

[@Paula_Shelton]

Hannah, I’m so happy to hear that you’re on the road to a happier place. It’s not easy to find a way into the light after a prolonged period of darkness. I know this all too well. You are so brave and are so inspiring to all who follow your journey.

[@HannahHodgson]

Paula Shelton thank you so much Paula. That is such a lovely thing to say ❤️

[@hanna-ym7dz]

Been thinking of you, Hannah! So happy to see you back. Wishing you all the very best in 2020!

[@HannahHodgson]

hanna mitchell thank you, and to you too!

[@fertiliza]

Just glad you're back!! 😁😘

[@l.findlater8457]

You seem like such a brave young person, (I've a granddaughter older than you, lol!) i want to urge you not to worry so much about what we all think. Post when you want, what you feel like posting. crafting videos? books? I'm so there! You do what you do best, be yourself, ok? gentle hugs!

[@shalacarter6658]

College, or "Uni" as you say; can be over-rated. Besides the fact that it costs the earth; you are already doing work in fields such as your writing and activism.

[@LizTiddington]

Happy New Year sweetheart, I'm so glad you survived the year, you're an absolute Rockstar 💪! Huge congratulations on the publishing and the antidepressants that actually work👌👏🙌. I hope 2020 brings you great things and good opportunities, sending you much love 😘💕♥️

[@HannahHodgson]

LizTiddington thank you ❤️ and to you!

[@MattSowerbyPoetry]

You should be so proud of yourself for everything you've done this year. Glad to see you're doing this again! Feel no pressure to reply to this, I'm sure I'll see you soon anyway (also hyped that the strike made the montage!)

[@HannahHodgson]

Hey Matt! When are you home next? I’ll be in touch about the Climate stuff soon. Take care

[@MattSowerbyPoetry]

@@HannahHodgson still home for a little bit (till 12) after that I won't be back until the weekend of the 7th of March for words by the water, are you working there this year?

[@anikabaddeleyrollingbackwa7341]

Was so much better after my ostomy

[@christinataylor737]

Only just found this love keep faith with yourself, you're amazing xxx

[@HannahHodgson]

thankyou so much

[@lornahulse8065]

I’m incredibly happy to see you back and looking so much better in yourself. You’re exactly right that you need to put yourself first, even though it doesn’t always come naturally. You should be incredibly proud of everything you have achieved in 2019 despite all the obstacles in your way. I really hope things turn around for you in 2020; I had a whole string of bad years due to my health and each new year I would just hope that the next would be better. This year is the first in a really long time when I haven’t had to do this! Take care of yourself!

[@HannahHodgson]

I am feeling so much more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve taken the year to get to know myself, really. I lost my teenage idealism overnight, and suddenly became an adult. It’s both a blessing and a curse in that respect, but I have grown so much and had time to figure out where I stand with things. I hope 2020 is a good one for you. Thank you so much for coming back to this channel after my long absence - I appreciate it. Hannah x

[@bonnieprice7796]

[@serbgirl502]

I found your channel and have enjoyed all of your content. I am a middle-aged lady from Minnesota, USA. You are lovely and so very articulate, I could listen to you all day! Thank you for sharing about myriad aspects of your illness, struggles and victories--- you never know what one of us out here can possibly relate to! Keep moving forward, you're doing GREAT. Best wishes for 2020.

[@HannahHodgson]

Jo Milo thank you for being so lovely! You’ve made my day with this comment x

[@adamflavell49]

I'm please to see you back, dont worry about uploading do what you can when you can. Great update.

[@HannahHodgson]

Adam Flavell thank you! It doesn’t feel like a year since I posted anything. I’ve always been a bit of a stress head and perfectionist, but have decided to just be kind to myself!

[@shalacarter6658]

Hannah! How wonderful to see your lovely face! I was thrilled to see you had put up a video! I loved your montage. Who doesn't love a cute baby? Congratulations to your friends! And more awards and opportunities for you. :) So happy to see someone smart like you visiting Parliament. I know how you feel when it comes to Depression. So, you just don't worry about your subscribers. I think I can speak for us all when we say we are thrilled to see you here! Cyber hugs! Shala

[@HannahHodgson]

Shala Carter thank you so much Shala. What lovely things you have said ❤️

[@wendyockerman4868]

I found your channel again and am so happy you are doing well. Your videos have been so helpful to me. When I found your channel I was not I’ll and found you just delightful with your writing and your outlook. Last year was diagnosed with a very serious disease and went through the grieving process that you describe. My heart and thought are with you and hope you are doing well currently.

[@HannahHodgson]

Hey Wendy. I’m sorry, that’s just really crap. It’s So difficult to live within a cycle. Just know (and it’s such a cliche) living alongside news like yours does get easier. Some friends may lose interest - but they aren’t very good friends in the first place, you often find out. Things will feel normal, warm and safe again. I know these are just words, but they’ve all I’ve got. Im so pleased you found my content again. I started it in part to build a community (or at least an understanding) of our situations, although different. I am hoping to come back to my channel at some point. I Haven’t posted for a year but have loads of edited videos ready to go but think I need to film an update first. If you’d like to chat at all my inbox is open on Twitter @HodgsonWrites xx

[@ruthavon8323]

Great to see you back, Hannah. I understand exactly what you mean about it being important to grieve lost opportunities... and how wonderful that, at the same time, you are able to celebrate all the great things you have done which you might not have done otherwise. One of my (many!) exciting(?) ambitions for 2020 is to learn to knit socks... it just occurs to me that you might have some easy pattern recommendations?! Thinking of you and sending all good wishes. x

[@HannahHodgson]

Hi Ruth! I’ll have a rummage and get back to you. I always struggle with the heel in socks and give up quite quickly! I did do some tiny stockings that could just about fit a quality street in a few years back, if that would be a helpful stepping stone towards full on socks xx

[@ruthavon8323]

@@HannahHodgson Thank you, Hannah. I'll message you. x

[@sean5930]

Hi. Best wishes from the bottom of my heart

[@HannahHodgson]

Sean thank you! And to you as well

[@joakimus74]

Nice to see you again Hannah

[@toniwood6490]

HANNAH!! So happy to see you ❤️ May 2020 be an awesome year for you ❤️

[@HannahHodgson]

Toni Wood thank you! And for you as well x

[@MySUPERkate]

Keep on fighting lovely xxxx glad you’re filming again! 💛🌻

[@HannahHodgson]

MySUPERkate it’s exciting to be back xx

[@booksinbed]

Glad to see you back, Hannah, and I’m so pleased that some medicines are helping your mental health. I know from experience how much of a difference that can make. Congratulations on everything you achieved in 2019 and for making it through a tough year. Looking forward to whatever content you enjoy sharing in the new year! Best wishes! x

[@HannahHodgson]

Thank you! And to you x

[@funnymoods87]

It was so nice to get an update on how you're doing. Wishing you a wonderful new year!

[@HannahHodgson]

Meg thank you! I hope the new year is a good one for you, also

[@ammalyrical5646]

You're here again :D I thought you just stopped YT because you didn't enjoy it anymore, but you were actually ill. That's so sad. Your story is recognizable in a certain way for me as well. My autism has definite negative effects on my life. I never got me screwed over as well. Obviously, we're not the same, but I recognize the wanting to be a normal 'insert life phase here'. At 27 I still haven't gotten a degree, I can barely keep up with a full-time course (when lucky). I feel like I'll never fit in and will never be able to do what other people do when they do it (or ever at all). At least I've not got permanent health issues, but I do get the struggles of living with a disability. Yours is just a bit different from mine. On the topic of comments: when tired or when you have no time/energy to react just leave hearts or likes at that moment. We can't all feel perfect all the time. Hope you feel better soon and that your depression may leave you at some point. Preferably sooner rather than later.

[@HannahHodgson]

This comment is so lovely. I’m so sorry that things are so rough, but thank you for sharing the solidarity. ❤️

[@ammalyrical5646]

@@HannahHodgson It's also interesting to see that similar emotional experiences can come from completely different sources. And sometimes it's just so sad when you realize you might be able to improve things but the struggles will never be completely gone. I find it nice to come across people who feel the same as well. And I know how painful it can be to have intestinal issues. Not something I'd wish anyone to suffer from, especially not permanently.

[@EE-mp4rz]

So so pleased to see you back, I’ve checked my subscriptions regularly to see if you were uploading again. Although my situation is very different, I never realised when I had depression (after complicated personal life and health problems) and once I did it changed everything. I’ve had a big 2019 having qualified as a nurse and moving cities. Hoping for a great 2020 for us both x

[@HannahHodgson]

Congratulations on such a productive 2019 🥳 Huge life moments! It’s strange, isn’t it? I didn’t really know until my Dr said “I’m putting you on antidepressants” and a month later I could recognise it with retrospect. Take care x

[@EE-mp4rz]

Hannah Hodgson I know exactly what you mean! Yes you take care too! Sending (gentle) hugs x

[@alysonp5844]

Hay chick I'm with I there, i have to have an ileostomy. Just waiting on an NJ tube to be fit again as the one they gave me last year didn't last longer than on 9 or 10 hours due to me being in severe pain from it thanks to the problems I have is my oesophagus as well. My leg is completely paralyzed I do large amount of enemies every night with the I was supplied off my ostomy nurse and colorectal specialist. But when they do the tube for me I can then have the small bowel Transit study to find out how my small bowel is doing and then we will go ahead with the ileostomy. I have esophageal motility disorder severe bowel dysmotility with the large bell being completely paralyzed and my stomach being severe bowel dysmotility with the large bell being completely paralyzed and my stomach being around 90% paralysed but we just need to know the degree of the small bowel so Wednesday's tested and procedures and things will be up and away. I look forward to following you if you are well enough to post more often as I feel so alone because I have not come across more than one maybe two people with an ostomy bag due to have ehlers-danlos and gastroparesis and digestive system problems. Wishing you the best of luck and hope 2020 get you through all these procedures and you feeling much better x x

[@HannahHodgson]

I’m in a similar boat - my stomach is completely paralysed and my bowel is pretty much nearly there. Keep in touch! I’d like to know how you’re getting on 💕

[@alysonp5844]

@@HannahHodgson that would be amazing hun as it's so hard having all this and not having someone who understands. I'm sorry you do understand as these are awful conditions. I really need a new gastric emptying test as mine was maybe more than 2 years ago and I'm sure mine is fully now aswell. I'm in a constant flair up with it, cant get through even a few hours of the day without being so bad I just want to lay and not more. So do you use enemas aswell? Sorry for asking here, I'm open about mine but would be nice to keep intouch, my bowel no long will get all the fluid out when doing enemas and I have have upto 1.5lt of fluid in my bowels. My colorectal specialist is really nervous about operating on me because of my ehlers-danlos syndrome, but knows that it needs to be done because there is no way I can go on any longer than like this. I don't know if you have many people that you can chat to that has these same problems but but I do know that I am always about if you ever need to chat also. Just wondering are you from the UK? Sometimes it's hard to pick up if people in the UK or America as a lot of people do move abroad.💚

[@ArielsBooklist]

Lovely to see you back Hannah

[@HannahHodgson]

Ariel Baptiste thank you! Thank you so much for coming back. X

[@howtomeetwomen-]

This is the least important thing, but your eyes look lovely. I admire your openness. I don't really know how to do that. Take care

[@HannahHodgson]

Thank you so much lovely