I was a Peace Corps Volunteer: My Little Brother Died

There are good days and there are bad days. The day my host brother died was a bad day.
It was bad because not only was he gone, but I didn't understand why and I kept thinking about what I could have done to prevent it. I had a mosquito net, bug repellent, and malaria prophylaxis, all things that could have kept him safe and healthy.
I will always feel guilty about that because I'll always believe that there was a small chance that I could have saved him.
PCV and RPCVs are told to prepare themselves for feeling guilt and shame because they will always have more than the villagers they serve and they will always have a way to come back home and be safe.
But no matter how much they tell you or how many stories you hear, it doesn't really get easier.

[@tristanv5584]

Hey man...Thank you for sharing your stories about your PCV experience. I'm in the middle of medical clearance and always enjoy getting a glimpse of those that served. I know people get busy, but definitely, hope you continue to share more in the future.

[@dawanrobinson5697]

Yes! I'm gonna put out three more videos by the end of today so be on the lookout! Thanks for watching and please let me know if you have any questions.

[@josephnelson2893]

I am deciding to serve but think I may have a mental breakdown in such conditions with my anxiety. Listened to your video, you never knew that boy had malaria-it was the card he was dealt and they were not in his favor. You need to realize that and let the feeling that you coulda helped him go. You helped others in different ways while you were there and we here and citizens there thank you for that.

[@dawanrobinson5697]

That's true. Life can be tough some times. As for other stuff, if you feel like you have severe anxiety, I did serve with a volunteer who successfully completed her service while having severe anxiety. She had a few bad days and had a lot of breathing exercises. Also, the support network from the other volunteers is super helpful.

[@eagledove9]

Wow, this is very real. The feeling that you have safety and the ability to leave, while all the other people can't, but at the same time, what can you do, give away all your own medicine? It's a powerless feeling. It's like you have some more power than they do, but you don't have enough power to help them all.

[@dawanrobinson5697]

Exactly. That's what Peace Corps volunteers realize sooner or later. But they still have the power to do something to help and that's what the service is about.

[@Theanine3D]

This is heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing this story. I hope his family has found peace.

[@dawanrobinson5697]

It's accepted as normal. Something like 15% of kids in Guinea die before turning 5 with most blaming malaria as a cause of death. One of my older host brothers was already laughing with his friends by the next day in the compound even while the boy's mom was still grieving.