I was a Peace Corps Volunteer: Relationships

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Dawan Robinson

Dawan Robinson

7 жыл бұрын

Can you have a boyfriend or girlfriend in Guinea? Sure.
First of all, Guineans are probably more intimate and sexually active than you imagined going into a Muslim-dominated country. It's very normal for guys and girls to have relationships as a teenager and as an adult though they are far more discrete about it than in America (no holding hands or PDA). In Guinean culture, you aren't supposed to marry your boyfriend or girlfriend so they understand that their relationship is just for fun. Things are changing but that's what feels like is still the standard.
Next, realize that as an American you are the exotic foreigner and that makes you attractive. Don't be surprised if people start complimenting you or flirting with you even if that rarely happened in America.
Like in America, small talk can develop into something more and that's fine. You're allowed to have relationships as a Peace Corps volunteer. A few things to consider however:
1) Genuine
Does this person like you because of who you are, not because you're new and exciting or because you could perhaps help them get a Green card. It's sad but you might lose friendships and relationships over how focused someone might be on trying to get out of Guinea. You can't blame people for wanting to have a better life for themselves but it's also not a great way to build a relationship.
You also need to ask yourself if you like a Guinean because of who they are and not for what you can do for them. Some Westerners might get into a relationship because they see it as an extension of their mission to help others. That's arrogant, foolish, and pitiful.
2) Reputation
Understand your community and how having relationships might affect your image. Guineans are usually discrete with their relationships. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend shouldn't change the way people think about you. Having multiple, however, might. Most people work around this by not dating anyone in their village. The volunteers who dated each other visited each others' sites but never told people they were dating while they treated each other as a couple in the major cities, far away from their village.
3) Security
Don't invite people into your home or travel to theirs until you know more about them. You wouldn't want to go spend the night at someone's house only to find out their friends spend the night there often too. If you want to know how someone acts when drunk, take baby steps and have backup.
When I was a PCV, the female volunteers were more successful in starting and maintaining relationships with guys. I had some casual fun and had some good friendships but I didn't date anyone. As for the rest of the male volunteers, I didn't know a single one in my class who dated a local female. The main issue for guys was that it was hard to find an unmarried, French-speaking woman.
In Sierra Leone, the male volunteers did have relationships but when I spoke with a few those relationships seemed to drift to grey areas like sponsorship. Volunteers are wealthy compared to locals so even for friends I myself was sometimes leaving money if they had traveled or done something to hang out with me. To someone looking at my or those SL PCV relationships, this can come off as prostitution even though money is never demanded.
PCVs should be aware of temptation and do what they can to make the right decisions. A fellow Westerner that we knew in Guinea took advantage of his privilege to sleep with a lot of women. This is bad for your safety, reputation, and job. Do what you can to avoid temptations that get you turned on to hooking up with a bunch of people. You're not in college and your decisions can negatively impact others, especially if the women or men are married.
If you have questions, shoot them my way in the comments.

Пікірлер: 2
@williamoliver9988
@williamoliver9988 6 жыл бұрын
This is very helpful! Thank you! Especially the part about "prostitution." Very interesting and spot-on...
@bigredone1030
@bigredone1030 3 жыл бұрын
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