I WAS ABUSED BY HOSPITAL STAFF. || SPEEDPAINT STORYTIME

Stills were not used in this video due to the subject matter. I also forgot to thank channel members in this one as I was not in a good place while recording, and I apologize for that. Thank you to channel members Cafe Soleil, Joseph Solomon, Lotus Dreams Art, Adel Juarez, and Fionapollo for their support.
Shoutout to @Fxllxng Official for today's audio editing and music! Go check his stuff out here: open.spotify.c...
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[@Chia_Mochia]

This is honestly terrible. I can literally hear the tears in your voice. It reminds me of an experience I had. I hope you do better mentally and just in general. Get well soon!

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 im really sorry you had a similar experience.

[@touma687]

@@DuchessCelestia I understand i feel bad for u also I am sorry pls don't hate me I just asked a question I am sorry miss

[@-soulfulbunny-4277]

@@touma687 you good bro.. 😀

[@pixlbunni]

This is honestly disgusting. And the whole "you should have thought about that before you ran" is exactly what parents tell children. And the way the staff behaved was abhorrent. They need to be fired. So gross.

[@DuchessCelestia]

agreed completely. they basically told me i only have rights when i’m asymptomatic and fully cooperative, and that’s disgusting.

[@byueul6038]

Not fired, LOCKED UP BEHIND BARS!!! Maybe even the electric fucking chair!!!

[@astra8372]

It's like if hospital is a prison

[@requiem9926]

@@byueul6038 they deserve a death penalty

[@CrazyGreenFluff]

so much of this sounds downright illegal, causing u bruises, insulting u while ur hallucinating, giving u meds u couldn't legally consent to. fucking awful, i hope u can get justice for this ;;

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i agree. unfortunately, the system seems to protect the people responsible in this situation, because they have the defense of my non-compliance to justify everything they did

[@supotter377]

Unfortunately people like that will always blame you for not being a perfect patient even when it literally isn’t possible because of fucky mental illness bs making you terrified and paranoid.

[@emmys.8323]

So, only ONE person in this hospital knows how to do their job… I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you feel better now. Did they only tell you reporting them wouldn’t work or did you actually try report them? Because if they only told you, you should just go ahead and report them anyway, you have the pictures to prove they abused you. These people should not work with people in distress…

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 unfortunately, i did try to report them even after they discouraged me from it when i asked - they dismissed the report, and the lawyer i spoke to essentially said that trying to pursue legal action would cost more than I can afford for a court case i’m likely to lose. i wish there was more i could do to get some kind of justice or change or at least get the people responsible fired, but it doesn’t seem like that’ll be happening based on what i’ve been told, unfortunately.

[@emmys.8323]

@@DuchessCelestia that’s just bullshit.. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

[@sparker-sparkle]

@@DuchessCelestia and even more unfortunately bruises aren’t even proof neither is the person confirming they where alone with you when you where hurt as long as they say they didn’t hurt you the system is so messed up it’s sickening you’re only ever told the story’s where people received justice because the people who didn’t are completely ignored i really truly hope that doesn’t happen again it’s nice to know you tried to do something about it i wish more people where like that what you did was really amazing i’m glad you have people around who understand and i hope the beginning of this comment didn’t do anything to bring you down if you ended up reading this 💖

[@Mama_nootnoot]

@@DuchessCelestia do you need a hug??

[@Fionapollo]

Duchess this is absolutely awful and Im so sorry you had to go through that. You didn't do anything wrong in this situation and even if you did, they are supposed to be there to help, not hurt. The mental health system is completely broken and needs to be reformed.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i completely agree, and i wish there was more that could be done to try to fix this.

[@ninasama5108]

When I listened to your story I started crying, it’s absolutely disgusting that these people are treating you like this and it’s also disgusting to know they think they have authority over people who are mentally ill because whatever they say is right, I’m sorry that this happened to you, I hope you recover well ❤️

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i really, really appreciate that.

[@tymphiearts]

When I was younger my parents used to be afraid of doctors, as small child i didn't understand why my very own parents, were afraid of the people whose profession was to treat and nurse people back to health. As i progressed and still progressing through adulthood and also listening to your terrible experience, now I understand more and more the reason where that fear was coming from! These people who are in the healthcare system swore to protect and treat people from any physical or mental pain, yet here we are!! Nurses instead of helping are abusing their power, revoking their consent because they said so and cause more problems to their patients! Guards who are hitting people their are supposed to protect?! AND PPL SAYING THAT CELESTIA WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET A NURSE THAT ACTUALLY HELP HER?! SHOULDN'T BE ALL THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO, DO THEIR JOB CORRECTLY?!This is beyond disgusting and it shows how much more it needs to be done to improve this system, let alone the mental health care system! The patients shouldn't be lucky enough to come across a good nurse or doctor! I'm really sorry that you had to go through this, I just want you to tell you that you're a strong person, because reliving this terrible experience must have took you a lot of power to express it here. I really, really, really wish you the best recovery from that!

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you so much ❤️💙 i relate - I didn’t realize quite how bad things were/could be before this, and it’s a lot to process, especially when there’s so little anyone can really do to fix it or make any significant change. it’s terrifying and demoralizing, and i feel so frustrated and powerless being unable to do anything to stop people like this. but comments like yours have made me feel like if nothing else, there are still so many kind people out there who don’t think this shit is okay, and that’s helped more than i can really put into words, so thank you so much. honestly, it means everything to me.

[@CecylAbdo]

It is really sad how people suffering from mental illnesses are treated in the place that they should feel safe. I thought that situations like that doesnt happend that much. That it was only me. It is so painfull to hear what happend to you. And it is even sadder that it possibly happend to like 90% of the people even in the „NORMAL” hospitals. I remember when I was after my fifth s****** attempt and because of all the emotions and derealisation I didn’t knewed what was happening, even if I was with my mom. The nurses were screaming at me and keep to make me vomit, even if I was shouting at them that I can’t breath and the meds that I take doesnt allow me to vomit. The situation in the hospitals and psych wards is so messed up, and no one will even BELIEVE us, because we are „crazy”. We dont deserve this.

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m so, so sorry. the fact that these people think they can take all of our rights and control away just because they can and don’t want to bother trying to put in the effort to actually help is depressing and disgusting, honestly. thank you so much for your support, and i hope you’re doing better now. ❤️💙

[@CecylAbdo]

Now I am doing really better! I finally have a good psychiatrist and I got better meds for my disorders!!! I am now 2 months clean and that make me really proud of myself! I wish you the best and I hope that bad situations like that will never happen to you or any of us

[@yms4355]

THANK YOU!!! Here in Finland, this is almost daily.... I'm so sorry you had to go trough HELL. You're right; WE DONT DESERVE THIS!!

[@trippdripp2873]

Mental hospitals are usually awful. I've been there a total of 5 times, 3 times were at the same hospital, the next was at another, and the last was yet another different hospital. Thankfully, I was not hurt physically, however 4/5 times I've been in a mental hospital, I was treated and experienced other people also being treated badly. The first time I went, there was no form of stimulation for the patients outside of a tv, and one hour of social activity. We were not allowed to converse with one another. The nurses were very cold, and one of them denied a patient headache medication and yelled to the point where almost everyone could hear, the reason why she was admitted into the hospital. The second time wasn't as bad, however one of the nurses ( the same one who denied the patient medication i believe) was upset with me being under CBO (client behavioral observation: aka they had to keep me under watch at all times. ) She complained to the psychiatrist enough to the point where they did take me off. However, I believe the only reason she wanted me gone was so she could actively shit talk the other patients. The third time at the same place was relatively the same, however we were actually allowed to talk to one another, which was nice. The next place I went to after that was honestly amazing. They treated their patients with compassion and gave us forms of mental stimulation so not all of us would be bored out of our minds. The last place was the worst when it came to receiving mental care. The psychiatrist saw me for 5 minutes. In the room were several med students jotting down notes or something on the walls and floor. The person there said, and I quote," You're thirteen, what do you have to worry about? " before immediately discharging me from the room. I was not the only one who experienced this treatment. Between this and other videos explaining their mistreatment at these places, it is obvious reform is needed. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did, it was wrong and I wish you a safe recovery. Please know that you are not alone.

[@DuchessCelestia]

oh my god, that’s horrible - i’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that. while it’s been so reassuring to see so much support in the comments of this video, it’s also been heartbreaking to hear how many people have experienced similarly awful things in these situations. i hope more than anything that these places and systems change for the better so that vulnerable people don’t have to rightfully fear for their safety. thank you so much, both for sharing your story and for your support ❤️💙

[@Liz-with-a-smile]

ER nurses and security gave me PTSD. I was literally just pacing too fast in a room with nothing in it. And 5 cops beat my head on the floor till I saw lights, held me down, forcefully medicated me...and strapped my arm and legs to a bed for hours with nothing to do but scream. They aren't human when they put on the uniform. And they certainly don't see patients as human either. You aren't alone.

[@No-ok8or]

I dont even know what to say.. thats terrifying!

[@kaitosspaceship5223]

Oh my God.. Your right they aren't human at all with the uniform.. hope your okay now.

[@DragonTamer200]

This type of shit is why I never told anyone when I was in a really bad mental state. I don’t wanna go into details, but I essentially hid my bad thoughts because if I was sent to a hospital I was scared something like this could happen. I really really hope you recover fast and heal well, and I hope that these assholes who treated you like that get some form of punishment. That shouldn’t happen to anyone

[@DuchessCelestia]

i completely understand, and i’m sorry that you’ve had to hide how you’re feeling just to feel safe from a system that’s supposed to be there to help you with those feelings. i hope you’re doing better now ❤️💙 and thank you so much for the support ;;

[@colleennewholy9026]

I went through a Mental Health Crisis, but unfortunately (or fortunately) I didn't have any medical insurance. So the best they did, was give me some medication and an emergency visit with a Psychiatrist Anyway. Confirmed Bipolar II Yaaaaaaaaaay

[@enjisilverstone-nolongerac7533]

It’s just unacceptable!

[@probablynotafern]

The way they treated you is absolutely DISGUSTING. They couldnt care less in how much pain you are or how bad your mental state is, they just wanna keep you in your room, because "thats their job". You didnt deserve that. I wish you the best and the best only because you deserve better.💕

[@Sleepy.Marshmallow]

I know this was made 2 years ago but when I was in a really bad state one of my teachers told my dad that I should go to a mental hospital to try and help but he declined immediately. He sounded terrified when she brought that up. Now I understand why

[@best_of_ant]

My dear... That sounds soooo awful! I'm glad that at least one nurse helped you in such a situation, instead of beating you up over something you couldn't control. Also glad that you're doing better, wishing you all the luck for future recovery, take care ❤️♥️❤️!!!

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@SparelWood]

I have unfortunately experienced something very similar, I was 12 which was pretty bad. I was told that I had to stay in my room by myself and after three days I decided to not go back in after my call, when I said I didn’t want to go back (I didn’t physically do anything, I simply said “no” in a non threatening tone) they called in 4 tall muscular men (the security) to restrain me and force me back into my room, I don’t know if I was sedated or knocked out from the force but I woke up and it was the middle of the night. They also refused to give me something different for breakfast even though I was allergic to what they were serving (technically not an allergy, I just throw up a ton if I eat it) even though it was in the system. This was on the “special” unit of the hospital which I was put in for breaking my glasses when I was angry and throwing them in the trash (the staff trash that was locked so patients couldn’t access it) I’d say the worst thing was when I made a plan to end it in there if I didn’t get out because of how horrible they treated me, a depressed and anxious 12 year old. This was a few years ago so I’ve had some time to work on it in therapy but I still believe that it caused or added to my ptsd

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m so sorry - that’s absolutely terrible, and you never should’ve had to experience that. it makes me so angry to hear about how many people have gone through so much in these situations - i wish there were more ways to change and fix the broken systems responsible for it. i hope you’re doing better now ❤️💙

[@flame.sniper]

This is so awful, oh my god, we are here if you need us! Remember to always look at the bright side of life and that tomorrow will be a shining new day with things to enjoy. Maybe it's possible to track down that nurse and guards based on their schedule and at least get them fired, or go further and demand the hospital for monetary compensation, turn the situation at your advantage and ask a trusty person to help with that if it's too much for you right now.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you so much ❤️💙 unfortunately, my report was dismissed and the lawyer i consulted essentially said that trying to pursue legal action would cost more than i can afford for a court case i would probably lose. i’m honestly absolutely furious that there’s apparently nothing i can do to make anyone face consequences for what happened, but there just don’t seem to be any options at this point

[@enjisilverstone-nolongerac7533]

I’m so glad someone believed you and saw you as a *human*

[@ComeAllWhoAreWeary]

I honestly have no words for this. The way the staff treated you was absolutely disgusting and I’m praying for your recovery both mental and physical. 💙

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@ComeAllWhoAreWeary]

@@DuchessCelestia you’re welcome 💙💙

[@Colorado-Coyote]

The sencond i saw those bruises was when I realized how badly they treated you you should always come out safer and more okay then you when you went in. You honestly would have been safer had you been home I'm sorry for what happened and I hope that if this ever happens again that you're in a place where people understand what they're doing and treat you with the utmost care and respect

[@Shapakia]

I am so terribly sorry to hear that you had to go through such torment. No one deserves to go such similar events especially while not being in a stable state of mind like you have been then. I think you should file a law suit, and note everything you remember as soon as possible because everything is still fresh in your memory right now, take picture of all your bruises before they recover to have them as evidence. I could tell how much pain you've bravely endured just from your voice, wish you recover quickly and to feel much better as soon as possible. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you so much ❤️💙 unfortunately, I can’t afford to take legal action, and the lawyer i consulted doesn’t think i have a case based on the fact that my lack of compliance makes it very hard to prove objectively that anyone exerted more force than needed.

[@nellisploffyploffy8954]

This is absolutely unacceptable. It's their job to care for people that need help, and there's so much at stake, it is not something that can be handled by people that aren't going to take it seriously. I'm really sorry that you had to go through this and I hope you'll get all the love and care you deserve from now on. And thank you for sharing your story I imagine it can't be easy to talk about such an awful experience, but I do believe that rasing awerness does help a lot

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i really appreciate your kindness.

[@wolfgills1187]

im so, so sorry celestia,, :C god, thats absolutely vile, and i hope at some point those people get their power taken away. we need more nurses like the one that actually helped you. the only people working with people like us, should be those who understand.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i agree completely.

[@Reyreychills]

It sickens me that anyone would do shit like that with no remorse. I really hope you'll get better soon Paige, stay strong, you're and extremely wonderful person. My best wishes and tons of love to you and your wife 💕

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i really appreciate that.

[@KathrynArt]

Ive never been abused by hospital staff in an actual emergency unit, but my first experience with a psych ward was abominable and my experience wasn’t isnt the worst compared to other patients. I was assaulted while defending another patient and if the staff would had carried themselves appropriately and had reported what was going on as they were legally obliged to do, this wouldn’t have ever happened to me or the girl i was defending, yet here I am. We discussed taking legal action, but due to life getting i. the way, that seems less likely. It pains me to see this is common treatment. I hope youre able to get the help you need and arent abused further by a mock worthy system.

[@ouf5794]

This is so much more common than people think. A similar thing happened to my friend's grandmother, and my mom when I was a kid. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m so sorry - that’s awful. i hope they’re both okay now. and thank you ❤️💙

[@ThatGreenMach1ne]

My heart goes out to you in this situation. ❤

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@sheabuttyr]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. That is unacceptable and it digusts me people are so fcking terrible.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i feel the same.

[@sheabuttyr]

@@DuchessCelestia Well, it is true

[@mastertofu]

It's sad that people have to go through with this. That people who are in the hospital get mistreated like this. I know such things can exist but I guess it didn't make me fully realise until I hear someone break because of it. I usually advise my friends to seek help. A lot of them are scared to do so even though they're going through such horrible circumstances that they need professional help and not just some friend who had an inkling of mental health. People are scared of such things happening to them so they would rather confide in themselves than to talk to a teacher or parent because when they get sent to the hospital, they no longer hold the same freedom as before. I'm glad this video helps people like me to understand why people fear such a system because honestly these people shouldn't have the right to do what they have done to you. I'm glad you're healing and that that stage in your life is over. As ungrounded as it is, I hope there will be changes in how hospital staff deal with their patients like how that psych professional had.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i really hope things change too, because no one should have to feel afraid of reaching out and asking for help when they need it. the system is supposed to be made for that, and people should feel safe using it when they’re in crisis. i hope that in time, changes are made so that that can happen. thank you again for your support ❤️💙

[@angie.castle]

As an individual who works at psych units, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I really wish emergency units could get more training because by the time individuals come to the psych unit, they've lost a lot of trust and are even more scared due to that kind of treatment, making stabilization or recovery even harder. Thank you for using your voice to bring awareness.

[@halffacedbone2998]

i experienced abuse from hospital staff, as did the other patients there. i never caused any trouble, i barely spoke, and i did everything they told me. no matter what, they would insult and berate me, threatening sedation, even sedated someone because they denied their medicine (which we have the right) because it was wrong and would cause severe damage. youre not alone. i am so glad you are doing ok, stay safe 🖤🖤

[@MaliMalware]

I am so sorry you were treated in such a cruel, uncompassionate way. No one that is ill, afraid or confused should ever be met with aggression as if they're a criminal and not someone just in need of help. I hope you're able to recover from this terrible experience and I know that you being able to make this video will help others that have gone through similar things feel heard and seen while showing people who have no idea how ugly it can get when our most vulnerable people are dismissed and abused by those in positions of power. TLDR: Love you Duchess, hope you feel better soon.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you so much ❤️💙 i really hope it does manage to help someone or at least manage to spark a discussion about this, because it feels like the only thing left for me to try. i really appreciate your kindness - love you too, and thank you again ;;; ❤️

[@brad6857]

This is so insanely frustrating to hear I am so sorry you had to deal with it. I can't even imagine myself how scared and lonely you feel now when there's no safe spaces to go to when you're struggling. I've had friends who's been to the emergency because of similar mental health issues and whenever they came back it was always a horror story, it made me wring myself out of any shit situation just so that I wouldn't have to go to a hospital, no idea if that would have helped or not, but it says a lot when any severely mental ill person comes back from being institutionalized and says the same abhorrent shit staff does to them. It's a major issue in healthcare and I don't get how it's not a priority to fix it, when hospital staff of any people know how many lives are lost to s/icide or other deaths related to mental illness. Again, so sorry to hear this Celestia, wish there was anything we could physically do! But I will make sure to order from your etsy shop in some support and I truly hope you'll keep staying on that path of recovery. Stay safe! You are a special person that have lots of people caring for you across the internet!

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you so much ;; ❤️💙 i wish there was something i could do too, but every attempt i’ve made to report it or take action has been dismissed, and it’s been really hopeless. but i’ve received so much support from the community, and i feel like even if i can’t get any justice for what happened or make any change, i’m glad i at least tried to bring attention to it and so grateful to have a community that’s both willing to listen and kind enough to offer their support and reassurance. thank you so much again ;;

[@itzmisty_studio]

I am so sorry what you had to go through and NO ONE should experience that by the people there supposed to trust and rely on for help hopefully those kind of people change in the future hope you feel better and recover well ☺️❤️

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@rottjavel3073]

that is absolutely terrible, hope you feel better soon.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@akiraohalloran]

That's sounds terrifying, I'm so sorry you and others have had to go through such horrible treatment.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@beantama_]

it literally kills me inside that all the people we're supposed to rely on like doctors/nurses, police officers, etc, are the same people who are hurting us and they just get away with it.

[@dust.runner]

There are many infuriating things about how our mental health treatment system works. I am really sorry that this happened to you and that it is happening and has happened to many others.

[@DuchessCelestia]

agreed completely - I hope that things will change for the better in time, but i don’t have high expectations for that anymore. and thank you for your support ❤️💙

[@kenonerboy]

congrats duchess welcome to the club to understand why "just get help" doesn't work.

[@enderbatrj856]

I feel sorrow hearing your story; the frog in your throat growing as you recall the events, those tears falling as you speak. It's painful, and I understand the horrors you spoke of as much as I can being someone who hasn't been admitted to any psych ward or mental facility. Why can't those in the medical field understand how much a condition like this can change your entire life and the way you experience it? You'd think the people who train in medicine for months, years, decades, would learn and research *some* psychology, but they often don't, which is unfortunate. You were blatantly abused and I don't know what to say except I'm glad you're in a safe place now, with people who care for you, look out for you, and love you. Is there any way for you to address this to the authorities now that you're out of that hell? Those nurses and security guards *need* to be punished for what they did to you, Celestia.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 i really appreciate your support and kindness, and i agree wholeheartedly. the hospital is not accepting my report unfortunately, and there’s nothing much beyond that that i can really do as i can’t afford legal fees for any action on that front (and have been advised that i would not win a court case anyway). it feels like a losing battle that i don’t know how to win, and it’s incredibly demoralizing.

[@evangelite09]

This is literally so clearly messed up :(( I cant imagine anyone treating others like this, if i ever tried to even hurt a person whom I've never met before or even know of before to the point they even have bruises it would haunt me to my death, laying a finger on a person I dont even know of or even have a grudge on with evil intentions and even restraining them and saying I don't care is something I cant imagine anyone ever doing even if they had the authority to do so, cause why would you?, i cant believe such things even happened to you, and that you cant do anything about this, I hope your mental state gets better, I still cant get over the fact that they chose to hurt you even though they could have been more gentle, they dont even know you your there to get help not get hurt, I dont understand why they would even do such a thing, and why the nurse would talk such negative things about you, like it's not her business to talk shit about the ppl she has to take care of, shes supposed to help you :(( They even HURT you, what is this ??

[@furytheshadow9044]

And that is exactly why, because of stories like these that I am afraid of showing my problems to anyone again, since I could end up in a situation like this

[@Dragmiredraws]

This story was really heavy!! It’s crazy to believe they can do this to people 😡😡😡😡

[@Rgungujfc]

Something similar has happened to me it’s actually evil.

[@shayerahol6434]

I'm so sorry about that. Doctors need to improve on their treatment of patients, I'm disgusted. Even outside of mental health, it seems like most doctors have been very far from kind lately. I've had multiple doctors nearly let 3 family members die. Heart issues, cancer, etc. All three were told their problems didn't matter or were something else and not important and sent home to die. MULTIPLE doctors. The mistreatment in hospitals is disgusting. I have nothing but hatred for doctors who're so irresponsible. Especially since that shit talking within ear shot? It's happened to my grandmother recently too.

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with so much because of awful doctors - i really hope they’re okay, and that you are, too. it’s so exhausting and hopeless when the only system in place to help you just dismisses or mistreats you instead, and it’s a much bigger problem than people realize. i hope things improve for you and your family soon ❤️💙

[@mrnothin368]

I can’t believe that nurse and the guards were even hired. People like that should not even be able to get a job in the first place let alone treat you like that. I hope you get better soon ❤️

[@MellyMunozYT]

I’m literally crying rn. I feel so bad for you that this happened.

[@friendly-1ntrovert865]

Why is it that nearly all the professions and careers aimed to help people who are in pain has a population of staff in which the majority consists of people who couldn't care less about the suffering of others? That's gotta be one of the worst cases of irony I've ever heard of. I'm so sorry that people have to endure that.

[@_JD_Heart_]

I am so so so so so so soooooo sorry that that happened to you. As someone who has been evaluated for a mental hospital twice but hadn’t been put in it yet this is absolutely terrifying and heartbreaking. I pray that you will one never be in that state again and two never be treated like that again because you don’t deserve that. My mom actually kept yelling at me when I was screaming that I didn’t want to go to the mental hospital for this exact reason, I was scared to. Luckily the staff didn’t do that to me (mostly because I wasn’t running and was complying because I wasn’t drunk or anything so I had a bit of control over what I did) but this kind of situation is why I am so scared of mental hospitals. Because as much as my parents say that they will only try to help, I know that there are some people in there that won’t help and will only hurt you. Stay safe and stay strong. I wish the best for you.

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that fear as well, and i hope that you’re doing better now. it’s a terrifying system, and it’s heartbreaking that there’s so little to be done to protect vulnerable patients in these situations. thank you so much for your kindness and support ❤️💙

[@_JD_Heart_]

@@DuchessCelestia it’s ok. Thank you for responding by the way. And I hope your doing better to. It really is heartbreaking that there is so little to be done.

[@LenLenBloomz]

I can't believe how horrible this is. I hope you're doing so much better, you don't deserve any of this, nobody deserves this. This is only further proof that in this modern day and age we still have to deal with these decades old problems with mistreatment in hospitals. My heart goes out to everybody affected by these problems, we need more awareness of this problem.

[@HonoOkami_]

That's horrible. I myself have had instances where I was close to needing to go to hospital. Knowing this terrifies me. If I were to break, and need to go to hospital, will I even be okay? Will I be safe? That shouldn't be a fear ANYONE has. Nobody should be afraid of going to the hospital. (excluding fears of individual things like needles which I have-) You should feel safe at hospitals, or at the very least, comfortable and able to TRUST the people around you. I know in situations where you are confused, lost, and have no idea of what's going on, the biggest thing you need is someone THERE for you. Someone to HELP you. To COMFORT you. I have severe anxiety, depression, autism, adhd, a sub autism thing called pathological demand avoidance and have suicidal thoughts. I've dealt with similar treatment you had from the nurse but from numerous teachers. I am super sensitive to the cold. (apart of my autism, you can do research if you are curious) I have been told by the principal of my school, when I was freezing that "It's not cold." I managed to get help from professionals who were able to get exceptions for me about wearing beanies and gloves for warmth. Beanies and gloves and banned at most schools where I live. I live in Australia. Winter gets as low as 5 degrees celcius and summers as high as 40 degrees celcius. My comfortable temperature is 30 degrees celcius. Usually ONLY summer gets to that temperature. I'm constantly bundled in multiple blankets, layers upon layers of clothing and constantly seeking warm locations. So to be told that what I'm experiencing is me exaggerating, is bs. Especially from someone who is supposed to run a school where I am most definitely NOT the only one dealing with things like that. The only difference between me and others is that my mum will do everything in her power to make sure I am comfortable at school. I have issues going to school. Atm, I haven't gone for nearly 4 months maybe longer. I know it's bad. When people believe I CHOOSE to have issues, I get so angry. I DON'T want to be feeling this way. I WANT to be normal. I WANT to be able to experience a normal life. Doesn't help that kids bully people about things they don't understand. My BROTHER has been told to "suck it up and do it" when he was meant to talk infront of his ENTIRE class as an Autistic, Anti-social, Stagefrightend kid. He was told to "stop using your (his) asd as an excuse." NEVER tell a KID that. He was grade 3. 8 years old. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ASD WAS. He knew what autism was as that's all he'd heard it called prior. He was in TEARS. Neither of us went back to that school after that. NOBODY should be treated like that. I know there are teachers who believe that once you enter their class, you are to be "normal". Equity over Equality when it comes to MENTAL & PHYSICAL issues. Equality over bs when it comes to gender and race. Sorry I went on a rant there. It's just so infuriating when this type of thing happens in places where you are meant to feel SAFE at.

[@mk-aka-morgan8386]

Being restrained is terrifying- I was restrained by my parents because I wouldn't look at them when I was crying and I'm still terrified of being in the same room as them when I feel like about to cry.

[@Catsforsomereason]

You did not deserve that,I’m so sorry. I wish you a healthy recovery :)

[@lyxthen]

You know, I started watching the video, but it got to a point where I was "yeah I don't wanna hear about this" because it brings me painful memories. I have been in psych wards before and my experience was... Well, traumatizing. I am sorry to hear whatever happened to you happened. Be strong. I am telling this to you and to myself as I write it. I hope things get better.

[@yongqianchen4037]

What they did was absolutely disgusting.I really hope you are doing okay now and have recovered. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong! And get well soon! *Sending virtual hugs your way and also to everyone who has gone through something similar*

[@liliththenerdywitch7478]

I'm very sorry that happened to you. It sickens me that the guards and the one nurse treated you that harshly, and that there was only one nurse that cared.

[@animeloveplz]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. hospitals are given permission to do almost anything that would "save ours or others' lives", and they can take that any way they perceive it. perceiving you running as "a danger"...... it's really horrible. I'm glad you're doing better

[@omnibliss8314]

my heart goes out for you i really hope you're doing well. same things have happened to me in hospitals like urs did and im so sorry you had to also go through this. hospital workers (not including psych ward workerS) arent trained with basic empathy which causes them to be careless. i wouldnt wish this experience on my worst enemy. stay safe man

[@yokoyoghurt]

as someone who also hallucinates it's so painful to hear things that just help deteriorate your mental health or when people really just dont fking care, or even try to I guess every out themselves in your shoes, those staff are the people you should have felt safe with but they abused they're power over you and wrecked you mentally im so so sorry that you had to experience disgusting things like that 💗💌 I hope something amazing happens to you or your goals come true

[@mudita4449]

Dear celestia , I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope you get better and feel happier. Have you heard about another art commentary channel called callimara . She does redesigns and talks about mental health. She is also a nurse . Maybe you can watch some of her videos for comfort .

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙 callimara is fantastic!! we’re actually in a discord server together, and while we haven’t spoken much, she’s been nothing but kind.

[@Cosmopluto]

I’m not that good at comforting people but here’s a virtual hug* I hope you get better we are here for you anytime❤!!

[@ruikamishiro.enthusiast]

the way my jaw dropped when i saw the bruises etc i could hardly breathe that seems terrible! the er staff should be able to be arrested for sever actions! that nurse seemed so kind ♡ im glad she was there to help you and its really not fine. i have such a big fears of hostpitals when i was 10 the slightest hospital trip was given it was me my friend and my friends aunt they had to go see her cousin because he was facing bad gallbladder problems im sure hes ok now and my friend didnt sant me to go in so i was sat there curled in s ball listening to them and the beeping from machines and i had a panic attack so that wasnt fun but im glad your doing okay and i hope your recover safe.

[@crossanddream2]

Im so sorry that you went through that, I myself have almost been admitted to a psych ward due to me feeling suicidal. When my mom found, I was yelled at and told horrible things. I was made to feel horrible about how I felt, even if it wasn't on purpose. I felt like it was my fault I felt so horrible how I was feeling, but it wasn't my fault and I knew that... But hearing my mom yell at me that if I were to go through with it my parents marriage wouldnt last, that she would go and get herself offed by police after going and attacking people from my school since I was being bullied and it was causing me to feel such a way. At one point she continued telling me these horrible things with my dad just sitting there listening and not even saying anything. Just agreeing with her at times, and then she told me how at the psych ward I would be watched 24/7 and even when Im using the bathroom, taking a shower, or getting dressed. That scared me so much, I just felt worse after hearing all of that. I felt that everything was my fault and I didn't have anyone to talk to. Well I somehow got better but it wasn't long before I became suicidal again and the yelling and telling me horrible things happened again. I don't understand why my mom thought that it was a good idea to do say such things. She was so mad that I never spoke to her about how I felt but how am I supposed to say anything when I believe I'm just going to go through the same thing as last time. There was actually one time I tried to do the self harms to myself. On my hand, well she saw it and asked me about it. I out of pure fear lied and said it was from scratching myself due to some hand sanitizer. She wven asked for it and apparently I was allergic to some ingredients it had, which I didn't know and I never used it. And at first she was suspicious about me claiming it was from me scratching myself and not the self harms, well luckily my dad who put his opinion in said that those indeed look like scratch marks. I honestly feel more comfortable venting about my problems tp strangers on the Internet than my own family because some strangers on the Internet were actually trying to comfort me and give some advice on how to deal with my situation I am in and that it wasn't my fault for feeling the way I am. I find it so sad that I rather talk to strangers on the Internet for help or even comfort than my own family because they've proven the only comfort I get is them leaving me alone after yelling at me while telling me horrible things qnd making it seem like it was my fault to feel this way.

[@chanellol7801]

I feel so bad for what your mom did to you but did you call 911 or did your mom not let you

[@flaminx]

im genuinely sorry you're going through that,. Your mom guilt-tripping you like that, no parent should ever say that because while possibly being out of fear of losing you , it's still incredibly selfish and manipulative. I used to be usually unhappy and lonely at my old school, and once i started getting bullied, i spiraled into depression. with help from my parents and therapist, months later i got better, i'm still working on myself in the present. if you need any help or advice, i'm open to talk

[@err0rdotexe172]

Everyone who abused you should lose their job and be sued/charged for malpractice and assault. Heck, I even think the one dr who consoled you should be held responsible for not speaking up on the abuse of the others. I'm sorry you had to experience this and I'm sorry you have/continue to struggle this way. I just found your channel recently and I love all your content because I relate to it so much so this hurts my heart that you also have to deal with personal struggles along with the stress this deteriorating world is causing. I wish there were something I could do to help. This treatment is just completely unacceptable and this world needs to do better and learn some empathy instead of being full of heartless bullies. Wishing you health and strength 💜

[@Rgungujfc]

I ended up with a black eye one of them was telling me they were coming for me I fell down a flight of stairs I had no idea what they were talking aboit

[@nayshaclarke5078]

Being in places like this, it felt horrible. It was also made worse as it occurred a lot in my teen years. Lookism is very apparent in these places, as usually the more “normal and attractive” patients could get special treatment from staff. The most “annoying” would equally be hated by staff and patients. It felt no different then being in high school. You being constantly judged from everyone, and the adults not caring until it’s to late. And you’re constantly shoved pills down your throat, told it will help, yet you feel no difference. My depression grew more being trapped in these prisons. I hope any one going through depression or etc., please talk to someone. Places like these are the worst of the worst, filled with cruel unprofessionals.

[@Autumn_Rosez]

I cannot begin to imagine what you went through. those doctors are absolutely SICK, and you didn't deserve that treatment. Hope you're doing well.

[@Th3r1anMo0n]

I hate that.. I have had a similar experience… I’m so.. so sorry that you also had to go through the pain of abuse of power and just lack of human decency.. at least you found someone in there who actually helped.

[@upstateaudiobooks1131]

Thank you for speaking up! That definitely takes courage to do in this kind of situation. Well wishes for a smooth recovery! ❤️

[@GoldenVulpes]

I’m so sorry you went through this. I think we treat mental illnesses so wrong, it’s like we are still in the 1950s. I wish hospitals that treat mental health problems were a place of relaxation and where we help them feel more relaxed and provide them treatments as needed.

[@dollykitthei]

i cant belive i just saw this. im so sorry for what happened. but im glad you stayed strong, even know i still hear the sadness in youre voice. I hope you are now better, but i know that when there’s trauma, its just..there, wishing the best for you. and the worst for the people who did this to you.

[@devinkii1727]

I was locked up for a period of time in a hospital called inner mountain, and they’d literally hold sending us to “state” which is basically the big boy hospital which can hold you for y e a r s. A woman I met there had a trans friend named Coco and at that time he had been in the Blackfoot hospital for 3 years. I don’t know their situation but it seemed like he didn’t need to be there and staff where just being horrible. I was there for alcohol/ weed/suicidal stuff so I was in the ICU which is where this hospital keeps their SUICIDAL patients and their patients that are coming down from HARD DRUG which is a terrifying mix. There was a poor cracked out girl who kept getting upset and confused so she’d start throwing chair and anything she could lift really. One second she’d be fine the next I’d have to be ducking and covering. There was another girl who’d just walk up and down the hall laugh/crying to herself while listening to the radio headphones they’d let us use. She was actually one of my roommates too, I woke up cause she was crying one night and I was like “hey you okay? I’m here if you need to talk” and she immediately threatened me. From my understanding she had been there so long she was starting to snap

[@No-ok8or]

Oh my gosh... are you alright? How long were you there? Do you need to talk? I'm here!! ❤❤

[@devinkii1727]

@@No-ok8or luckily it was only 5 days for me, another woman there showed me how to get out easily, basically I just said what they wanted to hear Alot of the women where regulars apparently

[@Uriiikun]

I am so sorry for what has happened to you, it takes a lot of strength and courage to be able to share these types of experiences with people. I hope that you resolve the issues that have been causing you mental stress and that you never experience this type of treatment ever again. Your fans are here to support you. Get well soon :)

[@jordangunnels7590]

This is the very sad. I’m lucky enough to be able to say that my experience wasn’t like yours, but it wasn’t good either. I hope you are doing well and I hope you are able to receive the proper care you need. It took me years and I still struggle with doctors not believing I’m ill. Mental illness is a plague that we will never truly be free from but I had a therapist tell me that with the right tools and supports, it can be managed and that’s what’s important. Learning the tools to manage and learning what to do when we can’t. I wish you the best, sincerely I do. Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable part of yourself. It has helped. I promise.

[@OutdatedNgone]

I'm sorry this happened to you,I never thought about how corrupt the system is. I really have an urge just to mentally and physically put them on the same level as the patients so they understand what they're doing to they're patients.

[@jupiterx294]

i am so so so so so SO sorry this happened to you, wh yare people liek this i dont understand, why would they do such horrible acts? when they know you arent in a stable condition right now? i am very glad atleast one nurse did her job properly and made you fee safe. i wish i was there to help you and i really really hopw you are safe and sound now. i wish those people get karma and get fired beacuse you didnt choose to be like that, it wasnt any of your fault. just know that there are people who love you and you are not alone dear

[@sirjokiti350]

Truly sorry to hear you had to go through this.

[@DuchessCelestia]

thank you ❤️💙

[@JustAnzia]

i was laughed at once when i went to the psych ward when having a mental breakdown a was suic*dal, and when i told people the didnt belive that she laughed at me. this made me never want to go back to the psych ward ever again

[@DuchessCelestia]

i’m so sorry, that’s awful ;;;

[@JustAnzia]

@@DuchessCelestia its scary tbh, this country should be much better in theory, but its clearly not. ( i live in Denmark)

[@cucaresto9108]

I've been to many wards and this has all happened to me. I'm glad someone is talking about this

[@Lilith__.___]

this made me so angry that I cried but I’m so glad you are doing okay now

[@TaikenUchida41]

I agree. When it matters most, society seems to continuously fail the people who need certain kinds of treatments the most and instead of implementing true solutions, the ones responsible and in power put a band-aid on the situation. In this case, however, it's really ironic that there is not even a band-aid to speak of...literally and figuratively. Humans once again behaving with contempt. The thought of this still going on angers me so much...

[@Micahmancer]

im utterly speechless... Ive heard similar stories time and time again and yet these stories never fail to shock me. it's stories like these that scared me into not trying anything "rash" during my mental lows as a kid~teen. I'm so sorry that happened to you, but I'm also so glad you're in a safer environment now with your partner. I know it's hard to believe - especially after going through something like that yourself - but not every hospital staff member is like that. I'm even sure you already know that, but just keep that in mind, because with that, there's still hope. You won't always be unsafe in a hospital, as... kinda fucked up as it sounds... I hope what I'm trying to convey comes out at least semi-decently. Anyway, take care of yourself

[@flaminx]

Words cannot express how sorry i am, and hearing how fucked up the system is and how patients are treated is heartbreaking and seriously makes me question how shitty humans really are. It doesn't surprise me people would rather give up or run away rather then stay in those truly inhumane conditions. Your video struck a cord within me, i hope you're getting better, i know how long that process can be tho.

[@krw2888]

I’m so sorry about those things, I know I have no say in this but I truly hope the hospital staff and management will get better. hope you’re feeling better now.

[@_MiddyMidnight_]

this is exactly why I'm scared of those places, and those people sound awful (except for that one nice nurse, we need more people like her)

[@jessicagreenfield6584]

I'm so sorry you went through this..I have mental illness too along with being physically disabled and thought of suicide many times but never told my family because I'm scared of going to the mental health hospital and possibly getting hurt or not listened to. I wish the people who abused you get consequences. I'm so sorry and I hope you are well today ❤️

[@StarryEuthymia]

my god. this made me bawl my eyes out. i wanna give you a hug so badly (if that’s ok with you ofc)

[@Freyanistic]

That is terrible, I’m so sorry. My mom was also abused in the hospitals she’s been and this sparked me in telling her story

[@FlowerCr0wns]

I know I’m a few months late for this video, but I cried listening to this story. I have Type 1 Diabetes and depression, and I keep telling my parents that I have really bad social anxiety, and how I hate how my body looks, but they just say I’m okay and don’t take me to a psychiatric unit, unless it’s when I’m misbehaving, then they threaten to take me there , or to a boarding school just because I didn’t do a little homework, or I forgot to do chores. It scares me and it makes me scared to think that this could happen to me. I once tried to take my life when I went into diabetic ketone acidosis, where my blood sugar was so high that the hospital (it was small because it was a local one) almost put me in an ambulance to an ICU in another state! I really hope you’re better now, all those people who abused you deserve hell and nothing more. Stay safe! ❤️

[@patchworkcreator841]

I wish I could give you a real hug but a virtual hug will have to do. Psych wards are horrible places and it’s really easy to see why they’re the settings of horror stories.

[@Shattercollective]

Hospitals often mistreat people when they go to hospital before the phyc ward, I'm so sorry that happened, I can hear the tears in your voice, i hope your mental health is getting better, and I'm hope your okay. Hospitals really need to treat patients like people.. the system is horrible, I hope you have a good day darl. Things get better

[@SUS-yk2eq]

I'm so sorry. Nobody should ever have to go through that kind lf abuse. Those hospitals should not be working with mentally ill people. Hope those bruises heal soon and that you are feeling better.

[@emo683]

I just came from Lumin’s video, and I am SO sorry for what you have been going through.

[@kiraqify]

This is horrible. I'm sorry you've dealt with it. Perhaps this sounds silly but sometimes I think about working in these environments because I know I wouldn't treat people this way.

[@kianna8009]

I know how that feels but in a different way I'm sincerely sorry what happened to you and I wish that never happened to you in the first place but I hope your mental health gets better and I hope everything will be okay in the end

[@WyspWyrm]

This is extremely terrible and not ok at all, I'm crying just hearing this story. I can't imagine you were feeling in those moments, I'm so sorry that happened to you

[@rosethecat1037]

I'm very sorry you had go through all that They shouldn't have treated you like that They should have just treated you better I'm glad you are okay though And this story made me feel bad for you :(

[@watermelon-jw6lt]

*hugs*

[@semi_enigma]

That's so horrible. It's sad that basic education and training for police, security and er staff in these issues is not required

[@eclair4648]

This story makes me really want to follow my dream when I was 12, to be a mental health professional. Then maybe I would stop this from happening at least once.

[@RosePhantoma]

I don't understand how they can assert you can't prove they used excessive force, they clearly had cams on in the spot you were found in the second time. This was horrible of them, and I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. Take as good care of yourself as you can.

[@Pebble-With-a-Pen]

Hey, this was previously kind of a trauma dumping comment, just came back from the "parasocial relationships" video, my bad on doing that. Sorry you went through that experience, I can empathize with how awful it is.

[@Katzykeens]

My heart breaks hearing this. I'm so sorry for everything you've endured...