SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED LAST MONTH. || SPEEDPAINT + COMMENTARY

No stills in this one, because as always, I feel uncomfortable and weird having a cute anime avatar talk about something that's so serious and upsetting for me.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK THIS HAPPENED TO YOU: shorturl.at/cJSW2
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[@TheHitsubasa]

Oh man. I’m so sorry this happened to you especially with you trying to follow what your therapist suggested. That is horrifying.

[@quizcastle]

This sort of thing is absolutely disgusting, I’m so sorry this all happened to you

[@criidawg]

I am fucking livid. Who the hell thinks its okay to do this shit?! I'm so sorry, and I hope you are ok.

[@TheZephyrsWind]

Same, hate this kind of thing. Makes me extremely angry. I don't understand how anyone can harm others (unless it's self defense, which, of course, this wasn't).

[@astra8372]

I'm pretty sure that those people don't think it's okay and do it anyway (which only makes it worse)

[@metazoxan2]

They don't think it's okay ... they just don't care. same with people taht rob banks, kill people, ect. Although sometimes they'll try to justify wrong things with some kind of "ideology" they generally realize what they are doing and simply do not care if it harms others. They simply only care about themselves and at best care about what specific group they decided is of value to them.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

A few evil people who government will not allow us to deal with.

[@Dragmiredraws]

BIG YIKES! So sorry that happened. Definitely lucky you had already texted your wife. People say I’m paranoid for always getting a new drink, YOU’RE NEVER TOO PARANOID AT A BAR/CLUB, EVER!!

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

You can never be too paranoid in foreign land* At my kindreds inn we drink bear and wine with ease for we are safe, outside of our lands we drink only watter that we see others drink.

[@halffacedbone2998]

i am so sorry duchess. no one deserves anything like this. im proud of you for trying your best to help your phobia, and i am so sorry it turned out so horribly.

[@Shadow1Yaz]

I am saddened that the burden of shame fell on you. You (and people who fall into this situation) are not the problem. Resorting to dr*gging someone because you want a cheap thrill is PATHETIC and truly deserving of deep deep shame. Shame enough to stop doing it (since the casualness of that guy implies this wasn’t his first time)

[@isthataspider7410]

Exactly. It is so pitiful that people go out of their way to put others in danger. And the bartender makes me mad as hell, she knew FULLY well that there are creepy people at bars and still chose to let duchess be in danger.

[@rosey.quartz7959]

@@isthataspider7410 FACTS.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

He should be exicuted. By the law of the gods rape is punished by death, no ifs, no buts, no exceptions.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

@@isthataspider7410 I just find her actions weird, when I am told to guard a thing I will unthinkingly obey.

[@docdoc.4500]

As a SA survivor, thank you for spreading information about this kind of danger to other people

[@thejadewizard6178]

Omg, I am sooooo angry for you. I'm so sorry this happened to you. People who drug others don't deserve to be in society at all, also screw that guy you spit on you he don't deserve to be society either. Humanity continues to disappoint, F#$% I'm so angry.

[@racquelillustrates1792]

Ok. I may not be a therapist, but I would’ve told you to start small. If anything, since I’m an artist like you, maybe you can regain control of your agoraphobia by doing some urban sketching or just some vent art. First, start from in front of your house and just stand there for about 5-10 mins and then branch out little by little. Again, I’m not a therapist but I believe in baby steps in recovery and Art can help you with that. Always express it, whether it’s positive or negative to help than hinder.

[@TheZephyrsWind]

I 100% agree, I have agoraphobia as well, and not 1 of the therapists I've had ever started me off running.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

And Im the opposite. Id say youre going to live in the wilds for 6 months with your closest kindred. All fears must be conquered if you wish to be an adult.

[@Celatra]

@@gunarsmiezis9321 all fears can never be conquered because new fears form all the time

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

@@Celatra They dont.

[@Celatra]

@@gunarsmiezis9321 they do though.

[@Goblinhugger]

My brother was roofied when he was out with his fiancee celebrating their year anniversary. We think that it might have been meant for her, but because they were both drinking frilly fruity drinks, the person trying to drug her just got the wrong drink. She was drunk and English isn't her first language so she couldn't get someone around them to help, but when I got the two am call, I got downtown to get them as fast as I could. It was really scary, my brother was incoherent. But while we were hauling him to the car, so many people downtown stopped to ask if we were okay, and one big dude even helped get him in the car. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. And I'm extra upset that nobody out on their night stopped to help you when you were in obvious distress.That part absolutely baffles me... But I guess the cities I've lived in might be friendlier or something. People really are mostly better than that... I just hope you can find the strength to give the outside world a chance again, even if at this point it may not deserve it. Thank you for sharing your story. Knowing other people go thru this stuff is so important.

[@yami1389]

I'm so very sorry this happened to you. Please try not to blame yourself for it, life should be safe, the world should be safe, but it's not because of people like him. No one should be blamed for what someone else did to them. I'm so very glad that you're safe, and as someone who leaves the house once a week to go grocery shopping with my mom, I absolutely understand not wanting to go out and I think that you're extremely brave for going to that bar. I'm so sorry that this wasn't the good experience you deserved, but I'm sure, as you tried once, that one day will be a good to try again. Nothing lasts forever, especially the bad times. I hope the guy who did it gets caught. And that his teeth rot.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

Give me the power and I will see the likes of that filth exicuted. But alas the masses are too weakwilled to do what must be done.

[@lucianisapa7106]

That sucks and I wish you didn't have to deal with that but you did and hopefully over time you heal and things will get better. We are all here for you

[@mlmetz87]

I'm so damn sorry this happened to you. When you do try exposure therapy again bring a trusted friend and trust your gut. Stay safe, I wish you a better recovery.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

If you bring a friend you will learn to be brave when you have friends are your side. Myself I must go alone for when others are standing behind me expeting me to overcome my fears I fear dissapoitning them more than the thing I must do.

[@abookwyrmdraws]

First, you have nothing to be ashamed of. The guy who did that should be ashamed, and tbh imo he should be in prison. And thank you for making this... it's so easy to fall into that "it won't happen to me" or "it won't happen if I go to a bar that I'm familiar with". This is such an important story to hear I think

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

"The guy who did that should be ashamed, and tbh imo he should be in prison." I vote under ground. "it's so easy to fall into that "it won't happen to me" or "it won't happen if I go to a bar that I'm familiar with"." I must fall in to that, because living in fear is not an option, better to live well and die well than do nothing and slowly wither with age.

[@CottoneeSocks]

I’m so so sorry this happened to you. You are so brave standing up to your agoraphobia and this could’ve happened to anyone! Thank goodness you’re okay, the idea of going out again must seem so scary. Maybe try getting home a little earlier next time, of course you shouldn’t have to consider that but sadly horrible people seem to lurk after dark. Ugh, makes me sick just thinking about it. You did so good getting out of your house and I bet your wife is also super proud of you!

[@Autumn_Rosez]

I am utterly disgusted by what happened. I'm so sorry this happened, and I hope you're doing alright

[@lodeisho]

I can relate so hard to being afraid of something, fighting against your paranoia and then having your paranoia confirmed. I hope you're doing better.

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

I cant, for me the paranoia is always prooven wrong yet I stay aparnoid and I cant stand it.

[@LAWless_Nonsense]

@@gunarsmiezis9321 that’s how paranoia works

[@jaim8147]

I'm so sad this happened to you, this is horrifying. I'm so glad that you got home safely and I hope the monster that did this goes to hell. Also, that person that spit on you, what's wrong with them!? Like not matter what they thought, there's nothing to excuse them from doing that to someone that was doing nothing, but ask for help.

[@devinsauls9137]

I'm sorry that happened to you Duchess Celestia. You shouldn't have gone through that at all! 😢

[@DivinityBrainrot0fficial]

That's so horrible I am sorry you had to go through that :((. I am also proud that you DID choose to talk about this, however. This is a very important storytime and will help those who saw this video and didn't think about this stuff much. This will definitely save someone. It took a lot of guts for you to speak up and it's great that you were able to. I hope you feel better soon, nobody deserves what you went through. I'm hoping this video helped you along the healing process at least... I can't imagine what this is putting you through.

[@DivinityBrainrot0fficial]

More about the storytime, the person who spit on you pisses me off. You asked someone for help and they fucking SPIT on you??? Shit like this makes me remember why people are so repulsive to me. ALSO THE PERSON WHO DRUGGED YOU PISSES ME OFF, ESPECIALLY THE PERSON WHO DID THAT. People are disgusting.

[@starry2819]

I am so, sorry this happened to you Celestia.. You did not deserve to go through that, no one does.

[@TheobaldLeonhart]

This reminded me, of a vaguely similar situation I was in, a few years ago Some context first I live in Canada (different province from Celestia), and this took place in winter, when I was still going to high school It was, maybe near -30. And my oh so wonderful dad, refused to drive me to school (like usual). So I had to walk 30/45 minutes to school I was going down, a kinda busy block (sorry for the vagueness. My memory is, awful). when some random guy pulled over, and asked me if I wanted a ride to school It was really cold out, and my legs were freezing. But, I knew that you shouldn't go into the car/van of someone you don't know. So I shook my head no, and kept walking He then followed me, pulled over, and asked again. I just kept walking, and thankfully he didn't try it again Sure, nothing happened. But whenever I look back on/am reminded of it, I worry about the what ifs What if he "got gutsy" and tried pulling me in? What if I agreed, and went with him? What would have happened then?

[@astra8372]

There's also the possibility that person only had good intentions... Which makes it sad. You can't trust good people because of bad people

[@redpyrocat]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is absolutely terrifying. I'm with the others who say they are furious that this happened to you. It shouldn't have happened to you and shouldn't happen to anyone. Some people really are just scum. 😠

[@irissu02]

Thankfully your wife was able to help you, that's a horrible experience you had...

[@crossidy7223]

People who dont leave you alone in public are already a huge issue to deal with, but drugging? jesus effing christ thats awful, noone should have to experience that :( And you should not have to bear embarassement because this happened, he propably wouldve tried drugging you no matter if you went to the restroom or had gotten a new drink. All it takes is your eyes off your drink for a few seconds. He harmed you intentionally, ALL of the blame is on him.

[@astra8372]

Any ideas on how to help a person in that situation? Sorry that I bother you, but I personally don't know how to help a person like that if I came across it.

[@crossidy7223]

@@astra8372 @Astra you mean in a situation where you think someone might have been drugged? Well calling the emergency number is always a safe bet. No matter the reason if a person cant speak and walk right and is semi unresponsive its a legit emergency. could be alcohol poisoning, a stroke, hypoglycemia etc (and no worries about bothering, its good to ask questions :))

[@anextremelyattractivepieceofgr]

I don't really know much about these kind of situations, but I do know it's NOT YOUR FAULT. You were just trying to live your life and someone else messed it up. Please do not beat yourself up about this.

[@CherryHop969]

Don't hate urself u went there to get better its not ur fault and it will never be ur fault its all his fault and I swear if we met in real life I would've gone with u that A-whole should be in jail u are the nicest and smartest person I follow on here and u have no reason to be hard on urself u thought wat u thought and even I had those thoughts myself and I have really bad anxiety sometimes nothing is ur fault and even though physically ok I hope one day u'll mentally ok one day I'll hit my subscriber goal I'll contact u and I'll do my best to make sure that u have an extra layer of security so that u'll atleast know ur alittle bit safer I promise this made me want to cry for u because I've felt extreme anxiety over this before and all u were doing is trying to get better and he tried to take advantage while u were recovering I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

[@insertusernamehere3173]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. The bartender should have done what you asked. I find it absolutely disgusting that a guy would do that and I'm just as disgusted by the stranger that spit on you. I'm so sorry that happened to you because that had to be the most terrifying thing ever. I hope you're ok.

[@strikerwott1222]

Oh my god that's horrible, I'm deeply sorry to hear you went through that.. it is absolutely appalling that this kind of stuff happens in the world. You did not deserve what you went through.

[@0303emily]

this is absolutely horrible this happened to you , i cannot imagine how horrifyingly scary that experience was by being incapacitated and unable to do stuff coherently

[@A1zen11]

Honestly I love how you take the pain that you are going through your life and turn it into life lesson to other people! It’s so kind and thoughtful, I love how strong you are! I hope your life gives you that kindness in return 💖

[@mefovarka]

having your worst fears confirmed is terrifying. goddamn.

[@Tekyun]

I feel you. I have the same phobia

[@sophria]

Please let up on yourself, you made a human mistake and it's not your fault. The only one at fault here is that jackass that spiked your drink and a little of the bartender. I truly hope you can heal from this and thank you for sharing this experience despite how difficult it was. Take care of yourself and your wife, I truly wish you the best going forward with working through your illness ❤️

[@JustCallMeBeeker]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. And thanks for making a video to warn others about this. I hope you get better.

[@BeepBoopBee]

Holy shit, that sounds like a terrifying situation to be in. That bartender negligence has put you in a hell of a time. I get that it's not their job, but if they agree to watch your drink, they NEED to watch your drink. If you ever feel comfortable and brave enough to go to a bar or restaurant again (especially a bar), try to learn the signals and code phrases to alert the bartenders that something fishy or dangerous is going on. Many bars and pubs have code phrases listed on the bathroom doors for what you should say or order if you want to tell them you're being stalked, need a distraction to get away safely, need the police called or need a taxi called. Like, you order a specific drink and any trained bartender will know what situation you're in and what you need them to do. So try to learn those code phrases if you go to a bar. It will massively save you when you're in danger. Another thing you can do is call ahead (or have your wife call ahead) to explain that you're very anxious and ask if the staff can keep an extra eye on you to make sure you're safe and comfortable. I've been swimming a lot lately and I've noticed that every swimming pool requires you to call ahead or to tell the staff about any medical conditions that could create safety or health problems while swimming, like diabetes or being sensitive to flashing lights. So making sure that the staff knows you easily get panic attacks or get very anxious from people touching you can help a lot. Not only to have them be aware of their own behaviors that might trigger a panic attack, but also to help you when other guests are bothering you. I personally also would've called the restaurant to complain/explain the situation as well as called the police to get them to arrest the guy, but I understand that was on neither of you girl's priority list. I really hope that you'll feel less anxious about going out and more comfortable with the idea of visiting other places soon. And I'm glad to hear that you have such a lovely wife by your side! Stay safe and take it easy. Even small steps are progress

[@VALENT1N01SNTAG1IRL]

I hope you're ok also *hugs through screen*

[@margauxbonnardot7173]

I feel you. The worst part is that is what happened to me exactly... the first time I went out on my own, convincing myself that I was being paranoid because I also have PTSD and didn't things to happen again... well the thing you described happened to me, but i didn't have anybody to call or come help me so bad things happened. I am deeply sorry for you. The only thing that I can say is that I can go out again but not on my own though.

[@HeldrikBoldhart]

this is why I dont go to bars or anything like them.

[@purupumpkin]

Sadly a common story. I also have agoraphobia and I just wanted you to know that the fact you even went there to begin with is absolutely amazing and I’m so sorry that someone decided to take advantage of that. You don’t need to be ashamed of wanting to finish that drink, paranoia and anxiety fucks with our perception greatly. You’re doing the best you can 💜

[@kimberlybogert7031]

I don't like crowds much myself (also I didn't know there was a word for this phobia 😓😅)but I try my best to get thow it (I still don't go out much really) I haven't had therapy again for this at least tho even tho I kinda need to again..but hearing all this is so horrible and terrifying I'm really sorry.😟 Please just try to get plenty of rest and as much self care as you need.

[@sirmoony5633]

I'm terribly sorry to hear that someone put roofies in your drink! Happy you got out of it okay though! I'm aofficially subbed! :D

[@aceofjades4815]

I'm so sorry for you. Remember you are not to blame for what happened. It's other peoples responsibility to be good people that's not on you.

[@kerrynroughsedge8017]

I've had this before, once in university. The only thing that saved me was the fact my boyfriend was out with me. You need to remember that as much as it is terrifying, ESPECIALLY for someone who is Agoraphobic, this was not your fault at all. I remember after mine I felt exhausted for weeks, and didn't leave the house for days, but I had support, and so do you. Even now, if someone who I've known for years goes near my drink unexpectedly, I'll slam my hand over it (Especially glasses), so the effects last, this I understand. I hope you're feeling better, and know that there are a LOT of people with the same experience, and we will support you, and thank you for raising more awareness to this. :)

[@akiakichan]

Oh duchess I'm so sorry. you are so strong for going through this

[@jujuoof174]

God bless all of the people who have suffered that kind of situation. I wish to all of you a great life and recovery. Celestia, it is NOT your fault! It is that horrible man's fault and you should never think otherwise. You also put your trust in that bar tender, so you weren't being stupid either! Please take care! :) Amen.

[@captainspaceboy]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. The world is so fucked up and so scary, and the way that some creepy incels treat women like that guy treated you at the bar is one of the biggest reasons why Im transitioning from female to male. The way women have to be constantly cautious about being alone and or living alone is terrifying and sad, and if I had to do that 24/7 I would hate living. I'm not saying that bad things also don't happen to men but it is a lot more rare. It angers me how much women are sexualized to the point that a bunch of misogynistic coomers think they can spike someone's drink to get women to sleep with them and other shit.

[@poseidons_child.]

And this is why I’m never gonna drink. I feel so bad for you. That is so terrible,

[@TheStrayBun]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I have schizophrenia and PTSD, though perhaps not as severe as what you live with, along with clinical depression. I’m going through exposure therapy now, and I know how hard it is to keep it up when things reinforce your beliefs/fears about the world. Just hearing this story makes me want to never leave my property.

[@obara7366]

You describing your incident as you felt vulnerable made me want to cry and hug you. I've had a collection of experiences that make everything you said hit hard; from having a breakdown publicly in a hospital after a near suicide attempt and everyone treating me like a lunatic while I was there in my fluffy pajamas at noon, to working in a homeless shelter and knowing how even if you were homeless, that doesn't give them the right to treat you that way. I've always thought you presented yourself as aloof so it's an even bigger deal that you're sharing this to help not only yourself but mostly others. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you heal well. Safe wishes to you and your wife.

[@pastelskittlesspam]

Im so sorry this happened to you, oml this is why Im terrified to go to parties and new places 😭😭

[@apselbluestar2223]

Jesus Christ, this is why I never let my little sister go out alone. I always make sure she's with good friends.

[@Nexiusify]

Im sorry this happened to you, people shouldn't have to guard their drinks but sadly people do this shit to unsuspecting people.

[@kaylanek1]

I’m so sorry this happened. I hope you can get some peace after this. Don’t be hard on yourself. It is 0% your fault.

[@Elenxji]

Okay, so, i never comment on really any videos, but this struck a core with me. I really hope you'll be okay. i hate liking these videos (not because it's bad) but because it feels like "liking" something horrible that has happened. Please, don't be ashamed of it! You should be angry about it. Like how dare that POS do something to you? Or any other woman/man?! I'm furious for you. I'm almost about to cry, i understand the paranoia. I know this is easy to say, but shame dosn't help you. You deserve so much more. I'm truely sorry this has happened to you and i am happy that you're alive (as.. weird as that sentence sounds.) Stay safe out in this scary world.

[@theperiidot]

I have 0 words that haven't already been said, and since I doubt you'll see this, but I have now subscribed, and well done for trying, and I hope you make it through the aftermath of this, because you sure as **** deserve to

[@eeveefennecfox]

that's terrible,hope your ok

[@SpiritSwatch]

So sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't feel ashamed for anything , you tried to beat your fear and in the end you were home safe which is important. Stay safe!

[@_Tennz]

I wish we were friends IRL, Celestia. I've been roofied before and I was saved by a bystander on the sidewalk. I relate with what you've said here on so many levels. I wish you all the best. Listen to your body, listen to your heart.

[@W1ck3d_Dr3ams]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I know the fear of being around other people, and out it public. Although mine isn't nearly as bad as yours, I still understand being afraid of going outside. I have social anxiety, and crowds scare me. I fear that I'm constantly being judged or looked at because of my acne, or that people are talking about the fact I'm not skinny. I understand why you would be affected as badly as you were by that experience, as all of your fears were confirmed. I know I can't say I know how it feels, because I don't, and if I did say "I know the feeling" many would be angry. Hell, I'm not even legally able to drink yet, so it's impossible for me to know. I'm sorry for going off on a tangent, I'm just trying to say that I understand your fear, and that I understand why your afraid to go out again. Never blame yourself for something you had no control over. I know it's easier said than done, but I believe that you can work towards that point. I hope you have a nice day.

[@jackobhargreave7347]

I’m sorry this happened to you and I’m glad your ok you’re wife is a legend and you are too. This type of stuff needs to be talked about and the fact that you are makes you a heroine in my book. Don’t be ashamed you are awesome!!

[@bita3318]

I'm so sorry this happened. there are so many horrible people in this world. thank you for sharing this. I certainly learned something from this as someone that thought that I'm safer from this kind of thing just by not going to bars or not drinking

[@birbunleashed]

This is so horrifying and I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you, especially when you were working so hard to fight your demons (and I'm really sorry to hear about that horrible person on the street too - what the heck?!). I'm glad you were able to avoid worse and that you made it back into a safe environment! Thank you for sharing your experience despite your shame, I'm sure you've been told already but at the end of the day, other people's bad intentions are not your fault. I know a stranger on the internet saying this isn't worth much, but your brain convincing you should carry so much blame for this is not fair.

[@leoneodoe]

im so glad youre okay and glad you shared your experience. i know its really hard to talk about things, especially if you think you shouldve done better. i will take your advice in the future, even if i think that ill be safe. for your phobia, i suggest when you feel comfortable enough to go out, try signing up for a cooking class or something. there, there will be many people all doing the same thing, and you will be thinking more about what youre doing than worrying about others :) sorry for saying so much and i hope youre feeling safer than when you made this video

[@gunarsmiezis9321]

Meh, no risk no reward is how life works and I must press on no matter the danger, I am too paranoid and even if I meet my end so be it, life is not worth living if I cant make friends or find a wife.

[@lostfox5621]

I'm sorry this happened to you Duchess. The world is a cruel place.

[@redfox.689]

I have agoraphobia too as a result of sexual assault. I can relate so hard to this video. I have yet to have this particular situation occur, but when I go out, I do two things that make me feel safer. 1) I always go with my dad. I am 23, my dad is in his 60s. People tend to just pay attention to him, whether it be waiters at restaurants or store clerks, etc. We also have an app on our phones that GPS track each other real time. He needs to find me, he just looks at his phone. Life360 is what it's called. 2) I cross dress as a man. My hair is very short. I wear a baseball cap, baggy clothes, men's pants, and a crochet packer. (beanbag penis/balls for those who don't know) The packer helps me break the habit of "sitting like a woman" because to cross your legs you have to do the ankle on knee one, or you squish the beanbag. Talking can be an issue due to feminine voice, so noisy places or just keeping quiet is better. For me, it works, and I can feel it work because others around me treat me like I'm of no interest whatsoever for the most part. Also feels nice when people say he/him on instinct when referring to me. Women on the other hand could get uncomfortable if I approach too quick or whatever. Remembering that to them, they see a man, helps me remember to give space or speak, so they can relax. Cross-dressing is about the only way I have been able to leave the house and not feel like I'm a rabbit tossed in a room full of wolves. I'm sure most of those wolves are nice, but it's better safe than sorry. What happened to you is fucked...

[@sugar0coated]

First of all, I am so sorry this happened to you. I have some experience with what you're saying, in that I spent three years mostly unable to leave my house, and I fully understand how having a safe space violated is so completely soul destroying. I really do wish you the best in your healing from this event, and that you may have a future where your safe space extends much further. Just in case it gives you hope - In 2015-2017, I couldn't leave my house, by 2018 I could go outside so long as I stayed in my car, by the end of 2019 I was going to university a day a week (thank you Covid for easing the transition!) and now, in 2022, I am able to explore a little on my own locally, and travel across the country so long as my partner or mum is with me :) I'm definitely still in recovery, but exposure really, really is the key, and I do hope you can try again when the time is right for you!

[@dragonfly._.doodles]

You do not need to blame yourself for what this guy did, you asked someone to watch your drink and they left sure you shouldn’t have drank it at the point but you knew it was meant to be watched and it wasn’t being watched, someone should have been there in her place but there wasn’t, you are not at fault here

[@autumnsartstudio]

My mom had the same thing happen to her by who she thought were friends… she normally would be able to drive home fine but she got a dui from falling asleep at the wheel while waiting for a train to pass through. Both stories strengthen my “never drink alcohol ever” mentality. I mean it’s not a bad thing to think that way. I won’t even drink at home because I’m terrified of not being in control of my body and was scared of even feeling tipsy. 😢 if I could afford it I would be locked in my home too because I’m terrified of the outside world too. But I don’t anything off my art to be able to work from home so I have to force myself to work in retail or something with crowd’s because my town doesn’t have anything else.

[@Charistum]

Humanity never fails to disappoint. This is why I prefer to live in my writing, where nothing matters and nobody real gets hurt.

[@deedleray]

That’s absolutely terrifying. I’m so sorry.

[@turq99]

Really messed up. I am sorry thing happened. I am glad you were safe in the end but still horrible.

[@why8did8you96]

People who do this need to understand that this isn't ok, I hope you feel a lot better when going out and I'm so sorry

[@hopefaith1092]

Not my dyslexic ass reading this as "I goofed at a bar". ;-; Anyways, so sorry this happened to you, it's disgusting.

[@IAARPOTI]

My advice is avoid going to 18+ or 21+ places. These places are super scary. If you want to go outside, go parks, restaurants, or friend's place. The main pray places are the places that I warned. I hope my advice is useful tho. I watched movies about luring mainly females with that methods mainly in bar or liquor restaurant. Stay safe out there.

[@redfox.689]

The park is dangerous too, there could be too many secluded areas. I've heard stories of kids finding bloody, cut panties just... in the dirt.

[@IAARPOTI]

@@redfox.689 I should include that too.

[@Kuroomiii.]

hi, im sorry this happened to you, but im proud of you for atleast trying to get over it :) i may be a random stranger on the internet but i am proud of your effort

[@lisrainforest]

I didn't know something like this even could happen. Thank you for sharing your experience

[@melaniescribbles]

Yikes, so sorry that this happened to you! Facing agoraphobia takes a lot of bravery, and that therapist should've definitely started you off with smaller steps to begin with. Like, I'm no therapist or anything myself, but I very much believe in baby steps in a process like this, and working TOWARDS a more milestone event like going to a restaurant instead of skipping right to the milestone. Just... was your therapist absolutely sure that you were actually ready for some big event like this in the first place? I personally feel like you could've used something more low-risk, like grabbing a drink somewhere with your wife. I'm an artist, autistic, and a bit of a hermit myself due to trauma. And I started myself off with just grabbing some bubble tea with my mom: that going well motivated me to actually get out of the house more. Doing something that you know you enjoy with someone you deeply trust can be an easy but emotionally satisfying step in that process, and you and your therapist could always plan further from that point. And just in case you need to hear it: you didn't ask for this, nothing about this was your fault in the first place, and you definitely didn't provoke it or deserve it in any form. Heck, nobody ever provokes it, as stuff like this is usually more about power over the target then sexual attraction. Clothes and drinking alcohol all really doesn't matter, and these are often just used to excuse monstrous behavior like this. And anyone trying to tell you otherwise can frankly go rotate on a cactus.

[@cl6wncake]

thats actually sick. im so so sorry that happened to you. you did not deserve that. i wish the best for you and your partner. 🫶

[@lunaskissed1515]

I'm pretty late to this video, but I have some experience being a door guy/bouncer for 17ish years.1; you did a brave thing going out, I hope you were able to continue doing so? 2; always good advice to use the buddy system, never leave your drinks unattended.3; and I tell this to all the younger ladies who come into our bar, you are not obligated to be annoyed or made to feel weirded out by somebody just because they're not overtly weird or shady. It's okay to tell a bartender or bouncer that you'd like someone to leave you alone if you're uncomfortable telling you themselves,that's what we're there for. 5; While I understand at the time of the making of this video you were still frightened, frustrated and angry, I'd submit to you that the bartender wasn't being a bitch, she's at work, and if another customer ordered a drink, she's under the obligation to do her job, it wasn't her malice, it was her situation. Sorry about the wall of text, I'm glad you made it and never forget you did a brave thing going out. I hope you continue, stay awesome.

[@Fudgeanimates]

I'm sorry that ever happened to you, what that guy did was horrible. I wish you the best and thank you for sharing this.💜❤️

[@astra8372]

Like someone said: the fact that you're paranoid doesn't mean that you're not being watched

[@mysteriouswolven]

I am so sorry this happened to you! And grateful you are safe! Thank you for sharing your story.

[@monzer0172]

I'm sorry you went thought this. Its an awful violation of trust and far more common than people think. I am proud of you for facing your fears and I hope you keep at it. I've been through something similar on a night out. I left my drink with my friends. I was only gone for a second and the next thing I remember a guy was asking if I was ok and I was outside (I assume this was the guy who did it because he followed after me) luckily my friend was with me and recognized something was wrong, shooed him away and called my mum. I don't remember anything. I was told the next day I wandered outside and they found me slumped over in a bus stop, my mum also said she smelt my breath and there was no alcohol but I was barely conscious. I was sick the next day from when I woke up to when I went to bed. The worst part is nobody thinks it was a big deal. Everyone I tell just shrugs like its barely interesting.

[@prophecyempresslerena358]

I don't think you can fail at exposure therapy, especially when this was the first step toward starting it. This isn't a failure. Someone messed with your drink and tried to take advantage of you in a vulnerable state and that's a horrible thing for anyone to do. A setback doesn't mean you're a failure, weak, or stupid. I'm pissed off that anyone would be a victim of this. More people need to know about situations that aren't as talked about. It's not always the stereotypical situation. Sometimes, when things like this happen, It's because that situation plays out in a way that's far more nuanced and unexpected. I have to live in a household that involves one of these circumstances and I've been afraid to talk about it too, but the reality is nothing is as black-and-white as we may think. I hope your therapist is understanding of what happened and can help you cope with the situation. Like another commenter suggested, maybe you can start off much smaller, but it's always best to check with a professional first after something like this happens to you. To be honest, I hate leaving my house and I'm not traumatized. I just hear stories like this and don't want to leave my house without another person with me. If something like this happened to me, I feel like I'd never be seen again. I'm not heavily traumatized or anything. I'm just extremely cautious and like to be informed, because this planet is full of dangerous people.

[@AngelCnderDreamer]

Omg I am so sorry you went through this, that really sounds horrible, I am ashamed of this society, especially those who treat or let it pass by while you are dealing of panic attacks.... it not something you should let a side...that was not okay, and this shouldn't have happened. I am so sorry you were treated this way. :c You deserved better then this, and yeah cause of that it definitely didn't help you with your issue that your trying to work with.....also I can see why you had to delete that, that is not worth having. It'll just remind you of the painful memories.... It's a good thing you deleted and I don't blame at all for doing so. I hope you get better soon and move on from what you faced. I pray for you, also that's cool your pegans, I'm wiccan so I know where your coming from with the jars and stuff. ♥ If I were you, I would cleanse yourself, take a nice relaxing bath, treat yourself really good. Buy something you really want, and do mindfulness, anything that makes you relax and happy. It will help some what on the healing stage. > < Good luck and thank you for sharing, it will help those who go to a bar to keep an eye out and prepare ourselves.

[@LivMLund]

This is beyond saddening to hear! As someone who suffers from severe PTSD as well I understand exactly how absolutely horrific and retraumatizing this must have been for you. I struggle a lot to do everyday things, and even staying in my own apartment triggers horrible flashbacks and anxiety attacks, and the streets no better. I have unwillingly put myself in plenty situations where it triggered paranoia, be it irrational or actual danger I sensed. Your therapist is absolutely right about trying to expand on your safe places, it is the only way forward. I do understand that feeling a burn makes you withdraw from the source, I've tried it many times and gotten up equally many times. I wish you nothing but good will, and to know that you are not alone or to blame. 🎗️💙

[@warsongdog]

Great advice. Thanks for sharing this difficult story. And despite the events working against your goals, thank goodness your agoraphobia actually helped you escape a worse situation in this instance.

[@TheDreamerS4599]

when we we're 16/ 17 a man that lived down stairs that was 30/40 kept asking us to drink with him telling us even yelled get some drinks in you and stuff like that the others in the apartment also taunted us a bit for that 🦋

[@sarahxx.]

I'm so so sorry this happened to you. I hope you've been doing okay after this and that you can heal from such a horrifying experience, and thank you for spreading awareness, these things can happen to anyone. Stay strong.

[@KezanzatheGreat]

This is a big yikes. Thank you for talking about this and putting it out there. That said, I'd just like to point out that bars tend to attract the worst sides of people - drunk or not, especially as a woman, going there alone isn't safe. If you'd like to go to a place like that, always bring friends you know you can rely on, and maybe consider carrying a knife or gun for self defense (or even pepper spray - local laws permitting on all of those). I would also have recommended going to a hospital or doctor if you can to get checked out as soon as you figured out you were drugged, as you never know what those drugs might do to you. But that's more the benefit of hindsight talking, methinks, and I don't know your guys' circumstances. That said ... honestly, starting to face your agoraphobia by going to a bar is kinda like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. I'm not a counselor, but I definitely wouldn't recommend starting out with a bar (partly because of what I said before; they're plain not safe). For somewhere that's still public but not as risky or potentially chaotic, a public park or library might be a better option. (At least, the parks and libraries where I live are quite nice - definitely still public, but everyone is much better behaved than they tend to be at a bar.) Whatever the case ... all the best to you and your wife moving forward, and I really hope you're able to succeed in conquering your fears some day. Your art looks awesome btw :)

[@lockebecker5394]

Please don't blame yourself or feel ashamed for what happened to you. I think it's natural to feel such a way in the event of an incident like this, but whatever you did or didn't do that evening, you did not deserve to be spiked. Your actions did not "invite" what happened. Of course protecting yourself is important just like you cautioned in your video, but that doesn't mean that you were responsible for what happened. Somebody took advantage and did a terrible, horrible, evil thing to you and any blame here rests solely with them. Hope you're doing better since the video and wishing you all the best in recovering from this.

[@colleennewholy9026]

The Brain Fog is an absolute nightmare I've never been roofied (or drugged), but I suffer migraines. My worst one's make me feel like nothing's real. Only the pain, only the blurry filter that takes over my eyes, and language ABSOLUTELY has no reason or logic. It's terrifying, and I've only had it happen once in Public, and that was at school They thought I was on drugs or was having a stroke or something. But all it was, was a migraine And I'm really, REALLY sorry for you Duchess. I have heavy sympathies, and I'm here to support you!

[@ravenwolfe5821]

Love your art. Hope your ok! I love watching your videos, and I want to show you support as much as possible

[@hollyadams7413]

If I EVER run into the person who did that to you, I'll send them to Hell. NO ONE should have to experience something like that. And I do mean NO ONE. First off, good to know that he didn't do anything to you and that you're okay. Your wife sounds like a loving and supportive person. And second, DON'T beat yourself up over this; this kind of thing can happen to anyone. What matters is you're safe. I don't know much about agoraphobia -heck this is the first time I'm even hearing of it- but I know that with time, you'll gain the courage to go out again. Just go at your own pace, and like you said, stay with a group. By the way, I love your cat drawings. First time coming by your channel; you are a very talented artist, I hope you know that.

[@coopigeon619]

It isn't your fault...it's the asshole's fault for putting you in such a comprising position. And why the hell would somebody spit on you for trying to get help? Why do people have to suck? That was just uncalled for. glad your wife was there for you and helped you recover. Next time hope you go out with somebody with you so you're safer. Sorry this happened to you. *hugs*

[@derrekingledue3138]

I hope you find the courage to go out again soon. A social thing away from abhorrent people like that. I'd suggest an art thing/class, coffee shop, or see if a local game store does Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, im speaking from a different perspective; im not typically worried about something so monstrous happening , but it seems theyd be lower risk and still enjoyable. I hope you continue to improve and be surrounded by wonderful people

[@Ninjacatmuffin]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Having someone invade your personal space is bad enough, but him drugging your drink while you were trying to do exposure therapy is the worst. You were cautious and asked a bartender to look after your stuff. None of this was your fault. (I agree that leaving your drink unattended is risky though, but again, not your bad.)

[@maiimiya]

im so osrry, i hope youre alright