I was fired from work because I can't socialize

[@illuminahara]

Somehow as I've gotten older I've completely lost the energy that is required to even do fake small-talk, so I really relate to this

[@khalid8185]

Komt door de vaccinatie

[@volpeverde6441]

same....even family now.... most people are just pointless....

[@reginoramos6956]

♥️♥️♥️

[@ianne2004]

I also relate..

[@baddiezone]

@@volpeverde6441 ONG , I will literally walk past a group of people at a party , just because I already expect them to come off fake and shallow , I don’t want to speak

[@brucewillis542]

I worked at a place where people would often talk about the importance of mental health, and how autistic, or ADHD etc. they all were, meanwhile, completely outcasting anyone who wouldn't (or couldn't) blend seamlessly into their pecking order and social structure...

[@wintermatherne2524]

Proof positive of the virtue signaling hypocrisy.

[@shortyg1018]

Ugh I hate this fucking new trend of "hey I'm mentally unstable, look how edgy and cool I am", shit is tacky. Like where did all this "it's cool to be a social outcast" virtue signaling bullshit come from? Having mental health problems isn't something to be proud of.

[@sagewillowLisa]

This ☝🏼

[@r8gg]

and they all get told at least in the UK, you are not fit to work, and then get put on meds and benefits for rest of their life boom stuck in a box. We're especially prone to thinking in the "stuck in a box mentality" so this makes it a lot worse it's great.

[@hectorsumaoang2320]

period

[@RowRow73]

Your not hired to be friends. Your hired to do tasks. It is our culture has twisted what the work invironment and made it more that what it was intended to be. Don't let it change you unless you feel this is something you need to overcome. You will find your way as long as you don't let these setbacks hold you down. I'm proud of you for talking honestly and openly. Keep up the good work.

[@Raebu]

@Doppelganger D You got it right bro. They didn't fire him because he wasn't making friends, they fired him because his productivity was low. But even still, although you are hired to do a task, you are still a part of a team and you SHOULD try to be friendly with your coworkers. You should attempt to socialize and get to know everyone on your team because its the oil that helps the cogs move. If you want to be a lone wolf, you need to find a job where you work alone because the lone wolf behavior will make you a liability to an actual team. Imagine working in a team where no one trust you because you are basically a stranger to them. Imagine working in a team where no one can communicate with you because you won't get out of your bubble. You will slow down the workflow and make the job difficult for everybody. Social anxiety and asocial behavior is something everyone needs to fix. It's a weakness.

[@prettiestbaddie4194]

@Doppelganger D true true 😭

[@prettiestbaddie4194]

@@Raebu why you just said what that other guy said ? 😂

[@prettiestbaddie4194]

@Doppelganger D I guess just find a job that works for you

[@victornecromancer]

@@Raebu are you Doppelganger E, a doppelganger of Doppelganger D?

[@bxbyhentaii]

I was just crying and sitting in my room asking myself why I cant make friends, why I cant socialized and why do i panic when trying to talk to people.. why do i get called weird because I'm not social. I legitimately thought something was wrong with me, glad to see I'm not the only one and that it is something common among us all.

[@aliegan2109]

You aren’t alone. I’m in the same situation

[@soupdrinker]

I'm 20 years old but the last time I made a friend was when I was 14 years old. It has been 6 years since I've made a new friend

[@ISEEKSPACE]

I'm trying to get away from friends because it's just too much sometimes. They don't understand that I need my isolation time and take it personal when I say I don't want to go out or do stuff. They've called me wishy-washy, told me I'm all or nothing, told me that I need to learn to balance myself and not be so drastic. They just dont get it and I'm tired of explaining. And these are people I've known since I was a kid in middle school. I'm going to be 40 years old next year and I'm just done with people. Like at this point, if you don't know me by now and can't respect my space, I'm going ghost. I prefer peace and tranquility 🫤 I guess it goes both ways, ey? Idk, but make sure you surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and who are willing to listen to you always. I know people say that all the time, but truly--seek that. Good luck to you and stay strong. You're definately not alone.

[@baileykerkvliet2588]

Fr, sometimes I’m like I wish I was just a sim and could just go on autopilot so I wouldn’t feel that feeling of fear and anxiety when having to talk to people. Idk what it is but I just lose the ability to converse and come up with things to say. Or public speaking, like Socratic seminars were my fucking nightmare in high school. Can’t count how many times I wish I was different and could just talk to people

[@sweetdreams961]

Let me tell you how I moved on from feeling the way you feel right now.. by accepting yourself as you are and not giving a fuck if people call you weird or whatever and when you do that you wont be weird anymore and people wont feel awkward in your presence you will understand just start step by step and remember.. you arent weird other people are

[@karrde666666]

the worst part is they take it so personally

[@lexa3210]

How so?

[@strukitru]

@@lexa3210 Sometimes they think that you feel as something better than them who doesn't need to talk to them.

[@IkesPimpHand]

Especially women

[@logicss2893]

Lmao yeah like the way i act makes them think that i think i am more superior but in reality im just trying to fit in and trying to mask my anxiety and fidgeting from adhd

[@2fifty533]

@@IkesPimpHand you've probably never had a job

[@kev9617]

I don’t like talking to co workers about my personal life because it’s work. I only want to clock in, clock out, and get paid

[@aki-4731]

What job

[@kev9617]

@@aki-4731 does it matter

[@aki-4731]

@@kev9617 I was thinking if it's a job in small place and u have low distance between Co workers then it would have been really hard to not talk to them

[@josephinetracy1485]

I'm not really an introvert, but i just hate socializing at work. I make a poor captive audience. You have to be there early every morning, and there's no option of walking away from negativity. I can't be myself in even the remotest way, and I get judged on that. The office work environment today is set up for young bubbly women, head cases, or downright psychopaths to succeed. I don't fit in.

[@kev9617]

@@josephinetracy1485 my ability to earn a wage and work in a career shouldn’t rely on me telling them my personal life that’s stupid and moronic

[@CapricornSunSagRisingLibraMoon]

Social anxiety, struggle with small talk, and shyness is a challenge for a lot of people. Look how great you're doing talking to us now.

[@Chadius_Thundercock]

I don’t really have issues having small talk the issue is I don’t care, it gets irritating just listening to the problems of somebody I don’t know or want to know. I don’t give a fuck about your divorce John, shut up and just let me work

[@brinta19]

🙏🏽 Such a Beautifully Accurate, and Kind comment. Thankyou for it.

[@javierdelgado1554]

He seems really relaxed and focused for someone with social anxiety...I have social anxiety and I'm always fumbling over my words.

[@eljayexplorer]

I’m 27, and I don’t talk too much at work, nor do I talk about anything too personal. When I first entered the professional workforce at 22, I was much more open and talkative. By 25, I figured out that so much chatting can inhibit productivity. I also learned that coworkers can be fake af and will use things you’ve said against you. The hidden curriculum of the workplace is that you must at least be like-able, or you will be weeded out. But you can still maintain like-ability and mostly keep to yourself.

[@chonkybenetgods]

Yes. I couldn't agree more with this. I thought being so open with them would make me close to them. But it was not the point. They're fake and just backbiters.

[@Wombat627]

Its the game of impressions and facades baby!

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

@@Wombat627 basically all playing characters

[@Womanfemale12]

@@chonkybenetgods Of course they are. Most people are.

[@Womanfemale12]

@@Wombat627 Yes. Because they also only want t get paid. All they want is to have a good image in front of the boss and then if they quit or get fired you never hear from them again. I couldn't care less. If I work I'm not there to go out and party or whatever. I'm here to get the money to survive. That's it. That's literally it

[@ChrisDMReloaded]

nobody should be forced to make friends with anybody

[@hardyjoe4278]

Or forced into conversations they aren't even comfortable in.

[@CriminalIntent89]

@John Doe yea just be forced to do things what a smart take. LOL

[@leetraviusmckay314]

They're snakes anyway 🐍

[@hardyjoe4278]

@@thenovicewhispers When I worked at Wal mart, I rarely ever requested time off. I needed two days off, and it was like a problem to the manager. I ended up getting it, and just happened to run into a coworker the next day. To this day, I still don't understand why some random cashier was getting on me about a side hustle in another town. I like to keep my personal life separate from work. I feel like most of the coworkers whined about subjects that should have stayed to themselves. I have a CDL now, and the last temp job I tried to have during the slow time, the guy was trying to encourage reckless driving, just to deliver packages, lol.

[@sofarsogod]

@John Doe I feel introverts always become friends with people in which some shit just clicks and they like each other by not forcing shit, the thing with most people is that they are always playing the game, the hypocrite game, of: OHHH WOW TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW YOUR WONDERFUL MEDIOCRE LIFE IS GOING. NO SHIT, THATS AMAZING MAN!!! NOW HEAR ME UP, I HAVE A MORE MEDIOCRE STORY TO TELL OF THE SERIES I WATCHED YESTERDAY ON NETFLIX. THE OTHER PERSON REPLIES: AMAZING DUDE!!! (But both are dying inside because they barely listen what the other person was saying). And thats pretty much the game, most of people could give 0 fucks about other people´s lives but they pretend they do, because they have to be fake, because society force them to be that way. Specially in any job environment.

[@UnreleasedUnderratedRnBgrooves]

Don’t ever feel bad about it. Had a seasonal coworker at my old job that kept to herself but did her job excellently yet got let go because “she wasn’t talkative” and this was back in 2021. You are not alone kind sir, I myself am experiencing at my current role as seasonal - let’s see what happens smh

[@sparrsheila]

How can you fire someone for not talking enough? Sounds crazy

[@UnreleasedUnderratedRnBgrooves]

@@sparrsheila the managers there were being petty. They at one time pulled me in the office and insisted that I got a bad review from the receipts I talked it over with higher authority & I discovered they were lying just to get drama going. Miserable, jealous people is all that I can conclude from this.

[@sparrsheila]

@@UnreleasedUnderratedRnBgrooves that’s so ugly. We are living in crazy times!

[@OrangeHeadTM]

Sounds generic and made up. Does your job require you to interact with people, or do you sit in a cubicle all day?

[@OrangeHeadTM]

@@Misterdonp youre not worth my time lol.

[@omaisgee123]

"loner but i hate to be lonely" i feel you man

[@dylanjones268]

Living as a hermit for 10+ years, I made the decision to just go out and try. Almost a year in and I think I came to an understanding that I never had before. Everyone is uncomfortable, even the one's who look to be the most comfortable. We are all in our own heads, always asking, always doubting.. the anxiety is amplified when you allow yourself to focus on your thoughts rather than the conversation. I still get a tight chest, I still have to halt the thoughts in my head from spinning out of control and losing focus on the people I'm talking to but it does get easier. My trick is focusing on them, being sure to listen to what they say so that I can respond properly. Everything in life takes practice, even just existing..

[@Apudurangdinya]

Yep, totally agree

[@psychedelicsurfer]

Congratulations on such a powerful realization! I’m happy you’ve been putting yourself out there, wishing you the best! :)

[@erwinsmith7627]

Thanks now i realised what is the problem with me. I will try out as you said 🙂

[@tabul6556]

U might not know it but ur doing exactly the thing that scientifically works focusing on people and what they are saying causes us to tap into our natural social abilities, we are social animals after all, great job man

[@orlando198200]

Focus in the Moment!

[@tangyjenna]

this video randomly came up in my recommended and I'm glad it did. I relate to this so much. the pain of feeling excluded from the “work family", really liking my coworkers but not having anything to say to them, and not really wanting to talk to them. i thought I was alone

[@TXndj9375]

Same here, you just happened to pop up. For me, I was always bullied in grade school and I was also taunted and I became hyper aware of things; eg. I could always see them talking about me in whispers to one another behind my back. I still struggle with it and I’m a little older than you. But you having the courage to reach out is an encouraging thing, so don’t let this get you down. Remember all of us are weirded out by our past, even those that seem to be popular. I learned that from counseling.

[@reneeb6411]

No!!!! You are fine! Coworkers just want to gossip and have drama! Believe me…. It’s awkward because they are fake and you can feel their energy!! Most social work groups are toxic. You should be working, not socializing. Smh!

[@Theviewfromabov3]

@@TXndj9375 that’s exactly what happened to me.. it’s so frustrating cuz till this day and age I feel like I’ve become super hyper sensitive/aware to everything, sounds and sight! I never had that problem before but it’s like one day a cable went loose and I haven’t been able to get myself back. I’m constantly anxious and hostile towards everything/everyone I feel like a curse has been placed on me 😔 The meds aren’t really helping with the hyper awareness and therapy doesn’t feel like much of a change either. Everything this guy described was my experience 7 yrs ago and I haven’t been able to get myself together (unemployed) Living feels like a nightmare sometimes 😢

[@repentorperish7630]

Who cares what they think . be yourself man stop being a people pleaser and co dependent . you cant get rejected if you never wanted to join . who needs fake friends .

[@skeleton5459]

@@reneeb6411 i just left a workplace like this. it was a toxic environment and it made me not want to be friends with any of them. all of them would talk shit behind everyones back and since i was the quiet one. i hear everything! everyone would chitchat next to me and i'll just overhear everyone talking shit about everyone. then they come up to me and say things like you are so quiet. come and chat and i just continued to keep my distance.... i don't want to fucks with you all. you all toxic. lol . i left the place. i didn't add nobody on linkedin or socials cos i really didn't want to see none of these toxic ass people again. edit^ i am quiet but have managed to create friendships at work when it was a good working environment. when it's toxic and there is tension in the air. it gives me bad energy that makes me withdrawn.

[@vonnie0_0]

I feel this on a spiritual level dude, I don’t like to socialize because of social anxiety, conversations do not come easy to me, it’s almost like I need key cards about subjects that will keep someone interested in what I’m saying. It’s hard to deal with this stuff. They’re friendly to me, but I still feel disconnected from them, I don’t even remember half their names because I’m horrible with names. I’ve been working there for 4 months now... but I still feel like an outsider.

[@cece585]

You’re not alone. I can relate to you on so many levels. I think a lot of people also feel this way but are too afraid to say it. Proud of you.

[@graceharvest3096]

I understand your pain. I have social anxiety. It’s hard for me to even socialize with extended family.

[@zoriamm5064]

Same when I am with family I’m very quiet and talk really soft. It hard.

[@graceharvest3096]

@@zoriamm5064 so sorry my friend, hopefully we get better

[@zoriamm5064]

@@graceharvest3096 thank you I hope the same to you to.

[@Alex-gf5xn]

Same. Christmas is a nightmare for me because I don't like to talk to extended family members.

[@graceharvest3096]

@@Alex-gf5xn Aww sorry Alex. I completely understand. I don't feel close to extended family. I only saw them when I was younger and now its just so awkward when I have to see them because I don't even know what to talk to them about especially the older ones. Ugh

[@chanze555]

I came to the realization a few months ago that I just didn't belong in America. I've always been an introvert who had trouble making friends because people always expected me to be thuggish, know rap, or be a bad boy with a bunch of misdemeanors. Instead, I preferred programming, reading books, and art. I was told I was "too white" by black people and still threatening to white people. I moved to the Philippines to be a digital nomad and boy do I feel different. There's no more fear or anxiety from me. The citizens aren't materialistic and fake. They value intelligence and good moral character. I never knew peace until now and I have a bunch of friends. Sometimes the environment and society can really drain a person more than they realize. It might not be you.

[@nickhero6329]

Good for you buddy 👍

[@KingZealotTactics]

You didn't have to more to a different country ya know lol.

[@boomwizardyt7228]

@@KingZealotTactics well he did and his life changed for the better

[@KingZealotTactics]

@@boomwizardyt7228 Yeah but all you had to do was change who he associated himself with or change the environment, and changes could have been easily done without such a drastic move. Regardless if he's happy where he's at and with his life i'm happy for him.

[@arbitrarylib]

Completely agree

[@masseffectmafia]

My grandmother told me this decades ago, and I live by it: You go to work to make money, not friends.

[@dreamsomnia9813]

Similar to what my parents have been telling me and my siblings since we were kids: you go to school to learn, not to make friends. Only, I was the only one who took their words literally and has no friends but an abundance of social anxiety. In fact, I don't even think it's the fact that I took their words literally. I probably have had social anxiety ever since I was maybe 5 or 6. It's only gotten worse over the years.

[@amosoma5634]

@@dreamsomnia9813 my social anxiety started around kindergarten as well and making friends was hard but I think I’ve gotten a little better the past few years

[@andrewcruz3837]

Your grandmother was stupid

[@FrancistheBrave]

Wise woman 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿

[@projectpatientanarchy7550]

But if you can get both, ain't that good too? Cus where I live, you can only get a remotely good life ONLY if you know the right people. I have to make friends here, or I ain't going nowhere

[@Onewa]

I've noticed that whenever people distance themselves from me or just don't include me in events and stuff, I feel like a loser. But then when people start talking to me, inviting me places, and making me feel desirable, I end up wishing I was alone and just doing my own thing. You just can't win.

[@hp2546]

You just have to believe that the decision you make is greener. Like for example, you distance yourself. See this example, you attracted people because they sense you were comfortable in your own skin. This is going to be a same example on how you survive job interviews. You don't want to show them you are desperate because you won't give an good impression. So if people invited you, you just have to believe that you did a good job creating a good image but it doesn't mean you have to go. It just meant you are not a loser. This is just like when job recruiters contact you, part of you may wish you were alone doing your own thing but you just have to view that as an opportunity. You just have to believe that opportunities represented itself and not view that as anyone taking advantage of you. Opportunities are meant to knock on your door when you least expect it. Just like how you wish you were alone after people invited you, that just meant you are included.

[@Onewa]

@@hp2546 Awesome reply! Thank you. I very much agree with this. In the end, the point is to be comfortable in yourself, regardless of your surroundings or company. Alone or accompanied, be happy and confident in your situation.

[@thegrinningreaper8016]

I’ve dealt with social anxiety as well all my life since I was legit bullied and harassed throughout the entirety of my school so much just for being poor and “weird” and “different” that I literally believed I was a freak and still at age 22 cannot unsee that. There have been many times where my coworkers, supervisors and boss would complain I’m not “friendly enough” just cause I wouldn’t greet every single customer with a smile, there were times I got given less and less hours to the point where I was fired just because I didn’t start a conversation with a coworker or customer or smile 24/7. It’s a horrible world out there where even despite being mentally ill you have to fake it at work and constantly put a facade that you’re a happy person and if you don’t do good enough, you’re punished for it.

[@djsoccer30]

I think the worst thing is trying hard to socialize and then seeing how others can do it so easily and smoothly. I've seen new employees have better and more natural interactions with people that I have been working with for a year. Then I spend the rest of the day feeling kind of depressed because I know that I can't emulate that.

[@chanhoonbb3271]

this resonates with me 😔 i sometime blame myself for my inability to be more outgoing and friendly with people

[@vovanminh999]

Just take it easy step by step, give people friendly smile, care little bit about people around you, people are appreciate that, don't be cold fish life is too short, have fun.

[@cuzumakemyearfquake]

@@vovanminh999 How can u force yourself to react a certain way if a genuine connection is what u want? It gets way too hard to mask sometimes 🥹

[@juno1765]

You don't have to be like someone else, not being a smooth talker is not a bad thing also just because someone is sociable and good at talking doesn't make them better than you, everyone is different,you gotta love yourself and not change it if you are just introverted it's fine you don't have to fake it.

[@--AE--]

@@cuzumakemyearfquake Just don't try so hard. Don't try and be best friends and have some deep connection right off the bat. Just start off being friendly with people by simple greetings. It could take months before anything happens. I'm a truck driver and I drive a local route daily, and the trucks are not assigned. I didn't say anything to anybody for the first month here. Got the feel of the place. Then just started being friendly with small chat and greetings. Now I'm being invited for BBQs and football games, and made genuine friends. And it came from just small talk at first. "Hey what's up man? How are the roads over the Pass?" Don't have any kind of ulterior motive. Just be approachable by being friendly.

[@Cyliem]

The fact that you have the courage to post this in youtube for hundred of thousands of people to see , you're already doing great! I have social anxiety and I can't even manage to post pictures of me online and even on my facebook profile because I am embarrassed that people will see me.

[@Jesussaveme85]

Same here

[@asvj]

me

[@simiall]

Hi there my little doppleganger

[@bobfaget100]

so much courage to post this to youtube!!!! LOOOOOOL BETA

[@minaxxi]

Same

[@ipoison3862]

This video randomly popped up and I can 100 percent relate to this. Hope you never feel alone or like something is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with how you feel and I hope you're doing much better with a job that appreciates you for working not socializing 🙂

[@Mo0nCandy]

This is so relatable 😭 the constant desire to be friends with people and have a social life/be more social but also not wanting to talk or do much socially is an everlasting battle. I want it but I don't want it and find it difficult when doing so. Glad this video was recommended to me thank you for uploading 💖

[@colbyandbrennen3543]

Hope Ben is doing better 4 years later and has improved socially. Would love an update.

[@AbsolutelyHalal]

The algorithm has gathered us here today

[@montanathreehunna]

@some people deserve to be humbled I used to have social anxiety and it still comes and goes some times. But I'm kind of a social butterfly now too, i talk to any one idc. But one thing I did to get over it was eye contact with strangers in public. Just in passing or whatever, people will think you're weird but you won't see them again it doesn't matter, and it helps a lot in making eye contact with someone you're talking to. TBH a lot of people with social anxiety their biggest problem is eye contact, because if you are looking down or looking completely uninterested in a conversation with someone, they will leave you alone. But if you make eye contact even for a second they are much more likely to initiate the conversation, taking that pressure off of you, then you can just talk. And don't over think what you are saying and if you mess your words up just restart what you are saying, I do it alot as someone with anxiety, Ill be pushing my words out and so some times they get mixed, but I don't let it embarrass me, it's not embarrassing it happens to a lot of people. O but you don't have to keep eye contact the whole conversation, I dont' like it it makes me uncomfortable, but i want to let the other person know I'm listening, so I'll glance at their eyes every 20 seconds or w.e i dont keep track just when I feel they might think Im not listening.

[@montanathreehunna]

@some people deserve to be humbled O another thing to help is try finding someone with anxiety just as bad as you. If you see someone where you work that you notice also doesn't talk to anyone, they have anxiety. It's a lot easier to talk to someone if you know they are feeling the exact same way as you. And you could also help that person little by little over come their anxiety as well.

[@gypsyj2967]

Dr Kelly brogan

[@BigGnigga]

He snapped, and then stalked from cubicle to cubicle with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers.

[@benjemima1255]

Thank you everyone for all the support ❤ I'll put an update video out soon explaining how things have been going.

[@-108-]

Woah! You commented for the first time in years, and within minutes, this video was in my suggested feed. Now, I see that you just commented "47 minutes ago." So apparently, comments actually affect the distribution of videos by the algorithm.

[@selektafiji]

Do u have a new Job?

[@cecilyerker]

The algorithm has chosen you and brought us all here today

[@danherrick5785]

I think being an introvert is an issue - but I also think the american society is also part of the problem. Other places outside the US don't place social pressure and materialism so highly. Try using Myers Briggs personality test a try. It might give you tools to help you.

[@marshoul2717]

@@-108- This is an interesting theory...

[@EphemeralProductions]

I have Autism (Asperger’s), social anxiety disorder, and adhd, so i TOTALLY feel what you’re saying! I don’t like small talk, don’t like socializing, don’t trust people much in general, and often feel like the odd one out as a result. Way less than i Did as a teen and in my 20 though thank God! Still I’m working on it, kind of, Day by day.

[@JohnDoe-ef3wo]

Same here

[@Texaslife98]

Sadly it’s only gotten worse for me because I’ve been abused so much.. I used to have a light inside of me and I don’t know how to get it back, I just miss who I was. 😢

[@incrediblehulk8031]

Vaccines man vaccines.

[@sisigs4820]

@@incrediblehulk8031 No

[@incrediblehulk8031]

@@sisigs4820 Yes

[@Mralanc]

I live that you out it all out there. Many people feel this way. People in general can be a headache. Yet there is still that feeling of wanting to have that friendship connection. Great video, I feel ya.

[@Ehlaar]

I had to walk off a job because I was being bullied for not socializing I hate talking to people it’s annoying af

[@jacekwaasiewicz716]

feel you

[@defaultdan9715]

"being bullied" anyone who does this sorta thing isn't worth socializing with, and is very unprofesional.

[@hamhasmech5893]

i lucked out in the factory i work in. over 500 people work here and i have no problem with any of them. i never start conversations with the co-worker i worth together with every day but he still likes to talk with me - every day. he doesn't even comment on my quietness. shares his stories and so on. i just love being a listener and sometimes say something too but he doesn't mind that i barely talk. you just have to be lucky with finding real people - who understand that not everyone is the same

[@Ehlaar]

and i don't hate people i just hate talking

[@jasonvoorhees5640]

@@Ehlaar bullied? did you get beaten at work or something? 😳

[@poshko41]

It’s honestly amazing how much I relate to what he’s describing. You just can never completely relax. You’re constantly tense and hyper vigilant just walking around the office. Being expected to engage in any semblance of normal conversation under these conditions is like torture. I’ve found that reminding myself to deliberately release the tension in my muscles and slow my thinking and talking down really helps.

[@gaurs230]

Heyyy, I fucking relate as well…

[@XXXTentaclez]

this guys dad didnt do gooda job. He has to learn eventually or else he will stay the same. Break the tension with just saying high. Realize everyone else feels the same but they put on a act. Its not a serouse problem this why u gotta be more social in school.

[@idizzle498]

@@XXXTentaclez if it was that simple people wouldn’t struggle with it

[@poshko41]

@some people deserve to be humbled this is so, so accurate. You would’ve believe the negative people I attracted into my life when my anxiety was really bad.

[@ShaferHart]

Wait, that's called social anxiety? I thought that feeling was normal at work lol. Guess I'm high functioning because I can carry out small talk and socialize just fine but the work environment is certainly draining to me generally speaking. Guess I'll have to look into this...

[@anotherhealingjourneybegins]

I felt this. So sorry you experienced this pain, I hope you are in a better place now✨

[@karenovalasiti1970]

Sending much encouragement and kindness. Thank you for sharing

[@du4lstrik3]

You're not alone. Millions of people have the same problem. Most of us just want to go in, do the job and go home. We have friends and hobbies outside of work and don't want to make friends with colleagues. A lot of people are on the opposite end of the spectrum: they want to make friends from work and bring them into their personal lives. I worked at Amazon for a while and you'd be amazed how large the dating scene is at those fulfillment centers. Each building holds thousands of employees, and a lot of them are interconnected on social media. It's a huge hookup environment, but if you're not making friends and mingling, you'd never know about it. Although, one redeeming feature about Amazon is you don't need to make friends to be successful there. If you come in every day, keep your head down and do your job, you will be just fine, and can take advantage of all the learning programs Amazon offers to move up. Shit world we live in to where jobs that you can just do without hassle are few and far between.

[@JenBabyJen]

Omg THIS!!! I also genuinely love being alone/my alone time. The last thing I wanna do during my breaks or lunch is socializing with ppl whose home lives or personal issues I don’t have the energy to deal with or listen too. I save that energy for my true and close friends, most ppl are draining to me tbh

[@nostalgicbliss5547]

Most cooperate jobs are hook-up centers.

[@du4lstrik3]

@@JenBabyJen Same. And it sucks because a lot of employers are quick to usher you out if you're not actively trying to fit in with the team. So to survive and keep the bills paid, we have to play this stupid game of charades? No thanks, I'm all set on that 😄 Can't even tell you how many jobs I've had where I've branded myself as the black sheep, simply because I didn't care to try being anything more than distant acquaintances with my colleagues.

[@Yash42189]

I also feel like there is a huge world (the hookup world) that is right here in front of my eyes yet i dont see it, yet alone be a part of it, cuz im unable to do the mingling and socializing. Sometimes i get depressed thinking about this. That im missing out on a whole chunk of existence

[@cemetarybug]

literally about to start working there tomorrow and this is super disappointing lol

[@UnknownUnknown-cd4hh]

Extrovert: Why are you so quite? Introvert: Why are you so loud?

[@mrfixit8776]

I just wear ear plugs as half of my family are super loud when they talk.

[@holliswilliams8426]

@@mrfixit8776 you can get ear defenders which drown out really low frequencies but you can still high frequencies, this helps if the super loud people have low voices

[@mrfixit8776]

@@holliswilliams8426 Interesting...I been wearing ear plugs for 2 years already and can't tolerate different noises such as dishes slamming together, babies crying, irritating loud sis-in-law voice.

[@joris4235]

this isnt true, some introverts enjoy socialising but lose energy a lot faster when socialising

[@allyson--]

Love that for you.

[@j.vinton4039]

Keep your head up because social anxiety is no joke for some. It’s taken me years to get comfortable being out of my shell and socializing; but I’m glad I put my self out there. Stay strong man!

[@purrfectnails2473]

This is such a profound video. Wow the way you articulate this topic is impeccable.

[@mickhaculinecilliers876]

I like to socialize I want to but when I do their body language tells me I'm "wrong" somehow. And the more I try the more their body language is telling me that I'm "weird". And all I'm doing is being myself, which to me means that I am not appropriate to life somehow.

[@graceharvest3096]

That’s exactly how I feel

[@angelgcp1282]

You’re life has value and you are appropriate in the eyes of me but most importantly in the eyes of Christ Jesus

[@joelton4167]

you are appreciated, don't forget that. You dont even realize it, but people love and value you

[@vinaypawar6954]

Don't give a fck about others, think about your parents! For my parents, I can destroy any obstacle to live with them! I don't give a damn about what others think of me!

[@LikeableAden]

I know how you feel. I feel the same as well

[@bd6411]

Same, I feel like my energy makes people uncomfortable 😣 but can’t help it

[@user-on7yi4uf8t]

Your just over excited. Look into cbd for anxiety.

[@olimarpikmin976]

@@user-on7yi4uf8t you helped more than him with that comment man,thanks!

[@aki-4731]

@@user-on7yi4uf8t what is cbd?

[@user-on7yi4uf8t]

@@aki-4731 its the hemp plant with higher levels of cannibidiol. CBD.

[@user-on7yi4uf8t]

Eat it raw in a salad. That is cbda. It turns into cbd when you heat it. Cbda is more effective.

[@ooopticnerveee]

This resonates a lot with me. I am the same way in work situations, and from self reflection, I realized I'm the same way with the few friends I actually have, in dating, and in my family. I'm not exactly sure how to fix this, but thanks for putting your experience out there. Makes this all a little less lonely.

[@hectorsumaoang2320]

i tried socializing with some of my co-workers after 10 months (lol yes 😭) since they were listening and watching to k-pop while working. they were gushing about this group called new jeans and i sauntered over since we had a similar liking for the group and they just dead ass ignored me even when i asked some questions etc. what's worse is that i stayed there hoping we could converse more and no, it's like they had their own world they expected me to integrate myself into alone. one time one of them even told me i'd rather be with other people i vibed with upfront when i was being super quiet in our company dinner. i mean yeah i would love that but you don't have to embarrass me in front of everybody. it's just my first time working in the corporate world and they expect so much from me. i feel so alienated and i just try my best to stay here for a year before i find a company that i'll thrive in. so this is why everybody dislikes the corporate life.

[@aidenlop1089]

ahhh i’m sorry to hear that. hate that we have to play these stupid social games, they don’t sound like desirable people to make friends of anyway. Wish the best for you, u not alone

[@hectorsumaoang2320]

@@aidenlop1089 i'm a pandemic hire and i just graduated college virtually so i'm quite disillusioned with the corporate life. i didn't know it would be this lonely. wish the best for u too!

[@ChronicShy]

Bro, they so lucky to find another kpop fan in a workplace. L coworkers 🗿

[@checkmattee222]

I feel you man. I had to quit from this school I was teaching at cause they had a teacher's meeting almost every 2 darn days and I'd be forced to "say something" even if I didn't have anything to say. I have really bad social anxiety and my last straw was when one of the teachers told me to, in the middle of a meeting, "contribute more instead of being silent all the time". I couldn't after that. Now I just work private tuitions.

[@Howitgoes799]

Thats such bullshit. Never understood how people think that work is a place for socializing.

[@_.Dylan._]

So if you don’t have anything to say they want you to uselessly ramble… great

[@kpoppy9635]

But also doesn't a teacher require talking? And in front of a bunch of kids? I would understand if it was a job that didn't require much communication but in teaching I'm pretty sure communication is key.

[@4cmd]

If your anxiety is so crippling than you must seek help and work on getting better. Running away is the first step in a downward spiral to true isolation and depression

[@checkmattee222]

@@4cmd true, but I don't know where to start seeking help. I have it really bad. There's a time I was in a long queue somewhere and when it reached my turn to write my info on a piece of paper, I literally forgot everything including my name. My actual name.

[@backseatgaming9087]

Discrimination against introverts in the workplace is too common unfortunately

[@timfahey7127]

Well said. I can definitely relate. It's an extremely uncomfortable feeling, sometimes to the point where I would get nauseous. And I've been in 3 years of intensive therapy and it does help. I wish you luck

[@KR-fh9iu]

My sister has this same exact issue as you. It can be so difficult. Glad you felt you could share it here.

[@nootnewt9323]

I lost my first job because I didn’t “fit the company culture.” I’m so glad I work from home now, I don’t have to force myself to interact with people I work with.

[@Turtur-ms2bj]

Or maybe that particular work culture rather didn’t suit you!

[@nootnewt9323]

@@Turtur-ms2bj thinking about it like this really helped. But also I went through like a month of interviews with this company to see if I fit only for them to decide that actually I didn’t. Still makes no sense to this day

[@Voltomess]

I was always against making frieds at work , they're just my coworkers I talk to them when I have to but only regarding my job .I don't care what they do in their private life and I don't share my private life with them. I know that making friends at work will only get you into troubles sooner or later. So NO work is work and my private life if my private life those 2 worlds don't belong to each other period.

[@BimmerWon]

Social anxiety w/ adult selective mutism makes me fail every single job interview I go on. It doesn’t matter how brave I am or how hard I try. The physiological symptoms of anxiety prevent me from speaking or being able to think clearly. When I am able to speak it sounds very forced and uncomfortable to listen to. I record the Zoom interviews to try and troubleshoot my problems but I can never improve. The feedback I get every time is that I need to work on my communication skills. As a result, I have a master’s degree in engineering but I work as a test technician making less than half of what I should be making as an engineer with my degree. The company I was contracted to work for wouldn’t even hire me on as a full time technician despite the fact that I’ve been doing the job successfully for a year now on account of my communication skills. I’ve even been working more efficiently and accurately than the other technicians they did hire on so that was extremely discouraging and such bs. With communication skills being extremely important when it comes to engineering, I know that getting a job in engineering is a snowball’s chance in hell for me. It doesn’t matter that I graduated with highest honors from the honors program, I never worked as an engineer a day in my life. I never even got so much as an internship. I keep interviewing but failure is inevitable. Normally there are 3 rounds of interviews but I never made it past round one. I got my master’s degree when I was 23. Now I’m 25 and still not working as an engineer. I’m barely able to make enough money to not default on my loans and living out of my mom’s house. My life sucks because of this and I just wish the world would end already and everyone dies.

[@blackgreencz5106]

Man, the fack that this matter so mutch to get a job is ohnestly fucked up. Hope you'll once find some non-retarded employer and that he'll hire you stay strong :)

[@Razu_X]

I know I'm not in the same situation as you, however I can relate so much. I'm only 22 years old and I have awkward social skills, and it's been this way for a long time not just because of anxiety and being a recluse and all that but also because I have a mentally abusive helicopter mom which also effects my situation greatly, and trying to get out of all that by yourself because you're the only person you have is extremely difficult. Just yesterday I tried socializing outside and I felt embarrassed and awkward, however I know that if I give up and hide from my problem again it'll make it even worse. I'm still just starting out so I don't have all the answers, however my best advice is don't overthink too much of the situation (as hard as it can be), know that not everyone is rooting for you to fail, and try to be more confident even if you have to fake if sometimes. I wish you luck ✌️

[@jessica33313]

Are you by any chance low income? Try to see if you can get health care and get a therapist. You may have a confidence problem.

[@frozenfresh6406]

The second option is to try and go freelance and or make your own company

[@iaimforawesome]

@@frozenfresh6406 no second option. This person should be in therapy

[@cosmiclouds]

i relate to everything you said in this video deeply. i’m sorry that you and people in the comments are going through this too but it is very comforting to know i’m not alone in feeling this way, thanks for sharing :’))

[@missloriparker]

Social anxiety... it is a real thing, take care and know you matter! most of us struggle with one thing or another.♡

[@christinem4016]

I relate to this so deeply. I was actually reprimanded by my ex boss for not getting “involved more” in a customer service office job. And I sat there very confused because I showed up on time, did the work I was assigned, and clocked out at my scheduled time. I didn’t even take an extra minute for lunch. But still I felt like I was under performing bc I wasn’t constantly chatting with my coworkers who were all 10-20 years older than me. I realized that they just automatically assumed we’re going to go above and beyond in a position with little to no growth. And I don’t refer to this as “quiet quitting” bc i find it reasonable to show up what you’re paid for and that’s it. I’m not there to make friends or spend my days talking and bonding with people who are way older than me. I quit lol. Corporate politics is so absurd and sucked the life out of me. No amount of potlucks or free lunches will ever make that type of environment worth it lol.

[@Josh-do4ln]

You should probably find a job that's more individual-oriented. Working as a team requires some form of communication and rapport. Doesn't mean you have to be friends, just be friendly. Semi rant, just my experience in a similar environment. I work at a construction company and used to hardly ever talk, because I had this thing where my mind was kind of "empty" in conversation. I'd easily look back and think about how easily I could have responded, but in the moment, nothing ever came to me. I'd often focus more on the social element rather than the work, because it was really strange how unnatural it was to me. My boss would always check in on me and ask me if I was ok/why I rarely talk. It definitely made people make assumptions about me, like not confident being in my work, I didn't care, etc. I got diagnosed with ADD, started taking medication and it made the whole environment much more comfortable to work in. I'm more ready to just conversate and allow for not only myself, but my coworkers to be comfortable. I realize now how important communication is. Showing up and doing your job is important, but the ability to effectively work together is also equally important. Had one senior coworker who never really liked me, and was very critical of me. My inability to effectively communicate stopped me from learning more, and being able to work/focus better with him. Sorry, this isn't really relevant to your comment lol, just felt like reflecting.

[@OrangeHeadTM]

@@Josh-do4ln this is a big factor with people like this guy and the video producer. They go into jobs thinking everyone else around them has to cater to them. They have to find a job where they feel comfortable.

[@ULTIMATEGOOSE01]

@@OrangeHeadTM nah working is about taking what job is available, picking and choosing is for the better off types in life. I can't say I've ever worked a job where people want to be catered to, sounds extremely easy and cushy if can get a job with that attitude. Another problem is when we try 100% and become efficient at our job just to be randomly sacked, it teaches us to not try hard at all, can't say that's a good lesson to be taught.

[@skeleton5459]

same here. i got fired for ""not being a good fit" my boss even admitted to me it was because he thought i was too quiet and not fitting in with my coworkers. i was arriving to work 20 minutes early every day.. i don't drive. use public transport and still manage to arrive at least 20 minutes early every day. one time i worked a 12 hour shift with no break because a coworker didn't show up to work. i think i took a 2 minute break to pee and was working the entire 12 hours. so i had proven i was a good worker and i am a hard worker but still got fired because "i wasn't being social enough and i was not fitting in"

[@followingtheroe1952]

I work in a setting where the majority of people are 10-30 years older than me. The generational gap is huge, the amount of life experience they have and the leverage they have to tell stories in an attempt to impress the new kid on the block. Ive accepted the fact that what I can do is listen, riff on their stories, and ask questions.

[@Angelgurl1455]

As a person that has struggled with social anxiety ever since childhood, I really felt this. And no, it's not a switch you can just turn it off and all of a sudden be social and make lots of friends. The fear that comes from rejection from others, not fitting in, or just not knowing what to do and the things to say to people is emotionally and mentally torturous. People that don't deal with this or do not face this challenge simply don't understand. And then making it a social norm to be "loud" "talkative" and "outgoing" makes things even worse. In the US especially, I've really noticed this culture is all about self-validation. People constantly want to feel acknowledged and validated and if you are not doing that then they feel like something is wrong with you. So in other words, if you're not constantly talking and telling your feelings and thoughts to the world and you're not "perfect" or "beautiful" then it's almost as if you have no reason to exist in this society. It's a very depressing and agonizing feeling. I've dealt with this all my life and have felt much depression and panic because of this. So I feel you man, it's very painful. Hope your days have been better since you put this video out. 🖤

[@jonesjermaine4387]

He is lying I worked with him he was caught jerking it to shemaleee pooon and claimed he could do whatever he wanted on his lunch break.....

[@Zioni21]

Meh if u have serious social anxiety just take meds.

[@somebodyoncetoldme2664]

@@Zioni21 say you don't know what you're talking about without saying you don't know what you're talking about:

[@chexs2000]

@@Zioni21 It's not that simple 😕

[@gothica3605]

@@Zioni21 oh yeah because drugs are the answer to everything....

[@LenkaKagamine01]

Literally my current experience-I hope things have gotten better for you; I’m thinking of just going completely remote next year. I hate stressing about socializing and I really find little joy the process of it as it makes me anxious.

[@hayliemarie1281]

please don’t feel alone, i just started a job two weeks ago and i love i. my coworkers and peers are great but i cannot hold a conversion at all and i hate walking in there seeing everyone in little groups chatting :/ it’s going to get better!! you got this!!!

[@population-_-420]

Yeah but haylie just look at u u can do . Get with anybody u want 💯

[@NS-wv7hj]

Never heard someone voice the same feelings I've had forever. It would be so nice to just have someone to sit in comfortable silence with

[@jziffi]

I have this weird thing where the longer I've known people the more anxious and withdrawn I become with them. I think it's because I become conscious of their expectation for me to be quiet and awkward, and so whenever I do speak everyone turns to me like, "Oh, the mute freak has something to say." Anyway, I resolved the workplace issue... sort of: I mostly work from home now.

[@_.Dylan._]

Absolutely… even if I changed my mind and felt like I would be able to talk to that person it’s already too late because that would be weird considering our relationship is probably me just ignoring them for the past months

[@Macc-]

I feel this shit so much when u start to talk you feel like they never care to what you saying and also I have a stutter problem and it is so much harder for me

[@benjaminoliver2849]

Hey, man. I’m with you on this. My social anxiety is so bad that it makes me extremely nauseous and at times, I’ve vomited just due to the nerves. I was taken advantage of a lot when working because of my shyness and my inability to stick up for myself. There were a lot of kind people who tried to get me out of my shell but, it made me retreat even more. I’m sorry you are going through this and I want you to know that you are not alone.

[@mostafasherif9209]

I do relate my friend..if u are not like them u start to get cornered and labelled.. people really fear what they don’t not understand

[@maizeni7817]

This is heartbreaking, but I totally get it. I don't have social anxiety, but I'm a hardcore socially awkward introvert. I make no secret about it at work. I smile at my coworkers, talk about the weather, laugh at their jokes, and buy them candy. Rinse and repeat. Then, I just focus on my work because that's what I'm there to do. I've done this at every job. That being said, work from home can be a blessing, if you can get it, lol! 😂 There's usually at least one or two coworkers you'll find that are awesome and understanding of your communication style. You just have to look for them sometimes. I hope things have gotten better for you!

[@sleezy9094]

Yo i wanted to reply to this comment cuz this is exactly how i be at work💀

[@MkMaster13]

I've delt with this my entire life. Couldn't make any real, meaningful friends from kindergarten through 30 years old. The friends and relationships I did have never lasted. This isn't just social anxiety, it's much, much more than that. This could very well be Avoidant Personality Disorder. When I bring this up, people understand and accept me rather than thinking I'm just "socially anxious" or "overly shy"

[@nreynolds75243]

It's not necessarily social anxiety. It's called being an individual. These social people, extroverts, think everyone should be like them and it rubs me the wrong way. They are usually the bullies. It's not you, it's them. They have the herd mentality and very limited understanding. They aren't deep. Keep being you. Co-workers aren't your friends. Be cordial and do your best work. Not everyone is good association and you do want to be careful about whom you allow in your life. I went thru this a-lot thru life because I choose to not follow the crowd. Soar like the eagle and pay the turkeys no mind.

[@xTheBisexualPhoenix]

“Extroverts think everyone should be like them” “They are usually the bullies” Thank you for writing this! People could have five people talking to them, but still complain to everyone how one person isn’t talkative or extroverted enough, even if you do chime in here and there.

[@wazel7679]

When you said its not you its them, idk if you ment its their fault, but if thats the case then its you always, because anything you feel its it in you, fears, negativity, expectations. We use to remember on our past traumas and that's making us feel some type of way, im not no genious but im a person i know this from personal experience.

[@nreynolds75243]

@@wazel7679 Not everyone has past traumas. So it's not always that. You just have insecure people who think bullying others makes them look big. In fact its just the opposite. Also you have ones who live in a narrow world and therefore have limited understanding of others.

[@gabrieliuss8432]

Really good advice, yet i disagree extroverts want someone to be like them, me personally a mix of two, would advice to overcome the fear, practice socialising if you aren't comfortable doing so or getting out of so called "comfort zone", but hey, i've never felt as uncomfortable as you do now and saying be more extrovertish and be more of a guy who accepts the challenge is just my advice.

[@tommaso5776]

In the video he never mentioned them being rude or mean to him, why would you assume that. I also was in a similar situation a while ago, and the people around me were nice, kind, and understanding, but I still struggled to talk with them. The problem isn't always on other people, sometimes you need to put your pride aside, accept that you may not be better than others, and look for the problem within yourself.

[@clairemora7715]

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties, brother. Whether it be anxiety, ptsd, or something else, it is debilitating.

[@gemmawilson9227]

I was fired from a job because according to my manager "You don't communicate with staff enough" she mean't the typical small talk stuff the other staff used to do that I never used to get involved with. I told her I talk to them when we are discussing the children (it was a nursery/daycare) but she told me that wasn't good enough and because I don't communicate properly with staff that it "isn't the job for me" I told her I talk and communicate with the babies and children because that is what I was there for, I was not there to chat about Saturday night drinking routines like the other staff wanted to. I would play, talk and interact with the children, in a childcare job they should be your main focus and for me they were. But apparently that "wasn't good enough" I also have autism and I brought up that communicating is difficult for me because of that and she said "Ah so we are making excuses now are we?" And I told her no, I can't change how my brain works and I have always had trouble with small talk, discussing the children, their families and what we need to do for each child was easy for me but not the small talk that had nothing to do with our job anyway but nope that still wasn't good enough 🙄 I had also reported a safeguarding concern that she had refused to sort about because apparently me reporting child abuse to local authorities "makes her business look bad" and she "doesn't appreciate it" so they never got sorted out. After I left I still reported things to other people who could help and sort it. She is not the right kind of person to have a Childcare business, she fires staff for not wanting to make small talk and for reporting safeguarding concerns as she says it makes her look bad but she gives the abusive staff deputy manager role after I leave and raises their pay? Glad I reported them and I will tell anyone who plans on working there not to bother. See how well her business looks after that. So sorry to all the people who experience this kind of thing, it's horrible .

[@hp2546]

You just happened to have a corrupted boss who forces employees to mix business with pleasure. I mean your business in child care and so of course it is not your job to choose topics that don't relate to work. So I would think your boss is just looking for an excuse to play favorites. I mean in a business like this, conversations should not be used for personal conversations. Your boss just wanted an environment where employees get distracted from their tasks. I mean what is the whole point to force employees to party when people use conversations for work purposes only. Your boss is teaching employees to mix business with pleasure. You should already have a power to sue for wrongful termination. Those other staff members are not your children and yet your boss expected you to treat your coworkers like they are part of your kids. In reality, your job is to look after elementary school kids or kindergarden kids. Not adults who acts like children.

[@jemmac2611]

It’s very tricky to navigate man. I know the feeling of being so wrapped up in your anxiety that you can’t even converse even if you want. I’m still working on this. It does get better. It’s like a game, you spend your life problem solving and figuring out what works for you. My main focus has been on calming strategies like breathing and letting go of expectations (I usually have unrealistic ones adding to anxiety) building my own self esteem outside of work by doing things I enjoy and want to work on etc. I’ve had to in a way relearn social skills because I gave up on it and people because it just made me feel quite fearful and overwhelmed. But I realised it will be for my own benefit and enjoyment in life to put in the learning. Focus on you and building up your skills because that’s all you can control. If you are like me you may not feel like caring about people anymore but do it for yourself, for your own success in life, because people can’t be avoided and we need to interact with them to move forward in life.

[@amazingjane2703]

Try tapping

[@cyrusthe0ther795]

@@amazingjane2703 Socializing is hard and now you want them to start tapping. 0 to 100

[@mokie7421]

@@cyrusthe0ther795 what's tapping?

[@krissuyx]

@@mokie7421 Good question.

[@DingusMcBrungus]

@@mokie7421 hippy stuff in the same vein as crystal energies, it's physically tapping with your fingers on acupuncture points. It can "work" because of the placebo effect but if you want something more useful look up cognitive behavioral methods for coping with anxiety disorders

[@cdeutschh]

I feel you man! Therapy helped me a lot! Positive self talk is SO important. Take care brother. ❤️

[@akashdas9292]

What therapy bro?

[@tussdra4132]

Glad to hear you are doing good , abuse at work is no joke when you are different . It is human nature sadly and won't be changing anytime soon no matter how many rules they put for no bullying and etc . Positive self talk makes all the difference in the world . If they are hating on you for being different when you aren't hurting them , why hate yourself ? They already are doing that for you , might as well learn to love yourself even though it can be a very hard and long journey but its worth it .

[@Keyspot]

So true

[@senseinuuh]

I could really use some psychotherapy

[@Distress.]

Yes it's important for everyone to know. That social anxiety and introversion are not the same thing. Social anxiety is a problem you have to work through

[@magnificent7238]

It's like you're talking about me this is exactly what I have been going through. I'm 31 now and I can confirm that everyone is going through the same thing but everyone is dealing with it differently.. break the ice and put on the mask and talk to yourself positively.. and you will be alright 👍

[@Red_Eyed]

I was the type to keep to myself for a long time. What helped me was getting a job as a waiter. It’s opened me up so much. I’m now the type to start a conversation with all my coworkers. We all have such a great relationship, it feels like working at Cheers.

[@mingakinsgibayuxds7542]

I have the same issue my whole life now I’m in my 30s good god! I was thrown out of a work place because Of this. I can’t live my life fully. The only difference is I’d never find a courage like you to admit it and speak about it so kudos to you

[@kenXtripleI]

Feel as though this video is like a premonition.

[@radeonblue1816]

Same with me bro. I am 27. Is their any reason for that?

[@hansdampf640]

@@radeonblue1816 one reason could be that there is something very wrong with society and you can feel it but you don´t have the words to describe it yet. this gets better as you grow older,especially if you are able to avoid a certain type of energy stealers

[@honorabilis1]

same but my work place was mostly great accepting my quietness more than i accepted it myself, i find other quiet people bother me yet i am quiet ..because i hate that in myself and cant seem to not be that way

[@danherrick5785]

@@hansdampf640 There is definetly something wrong with society!!!

[@mysticgal746]

As an introvert who also has social anxiety symptoms, I'm quite comfortable being on my own. The only times I ever desire to improve my social skills is when it comes to work. Because being shy or socially anxious in the workplace seems to be a barrier to success at times. I hope that even if your social anxiety doesn't get cured, it improves enough for it to not get in the way of your aspirations. 💗

[@mysticgal746]

@@iaqh I think men/boys are expected to be more confident than women partly because shyness is more common in women/girls than men/boys. However, I don't always think shy girls are seen as cute. In my personal experience when I was in school I got picked on a lot by mostly boys who thought I was weird/creepy for being shy. Perhaps shy girls are seen as cute if they're pretty? Whatever the case I've decided being shy shouldn't stand in the way of me reaching my aspirations. Hopefully, it doesn't get in the way of yours. ❤️

[@skinnylong2023]

@@mysticgal746 Is that proven? I've always seen loads of shy guys, seemingly more than girls, and shyness has never been a barrier for women in my life. It's generally seen as submissive and cute for women, or even gay men anecdotally lol

[@jonesjermaine4387]

He is lying I worked with him he was caught jerking it to shemaleee pooon and claimed he could do whatever he wanted on his lunch break...

[@jessica33313]

@@iaqh quiet girls are gossiped about by other girls. They write your story for you.

[@skinnylong2023]

@some people deserve to be humbled That’s true if you’re gay/bi/ etc, but most cis women aren’t into shy men, or even write them all off as incels these days. Somehow it’s now also wrong to be super masculine and confident, but shy men are still seen as losers, and now dangerous ones at that, very paradoxical. The cheat code for life is still to be very confident, and very attractive. Of course there are select people who don’t mind.

[@kingslyverghis8774]

I feel you, thanks for letting this video out.u might have thought that u were left alone without ur friends in office but now u made the world feel, THAT THEY R NOT ALONE... Thanks for letting me feel that I'm not alone that we all go thro this

[@sydneykruzic6717]

People treat work like high school and don’t realize it’s a job to make money. I would say this about the drama. I feel the same way. I have anxiety just around roommates and it’s awful. It’s annoying. I totally get it. Forcing yourself in that moment is very hard and should never be forced at the wrong time.

[@Aarron656]

ugh I feel this so much man. It feels good to know that others share the same pain

[@XHeartCriztalx]

wow, you're describing my entire life, not only at work, but every situation I've ever been in a where there's a group of people I'm expected to get along with, and I just can't. My nervousness and apprehension takes over, and paralyzes me into pretty much becoming mute. It's only recently that I've been looking into whether I could be on the autism spectrum. The more I read other diagnosed people recount their life experiences, the more I'm convinced I've been autistic my whole life and never knew it. Sucks that the world is built to reject people like us.

[@maatx4027]

I hope things are better for you now! Be blessed!

[@Kugelschrei]

Sounds like a vicious cycle - you get anxious when talking to people, thus you don't talk much with people, which makes approaching people even harder without that practice/routine, moving the anxiety bar up even higher... This is easy to say, but speaking from experience what helped me is to force myself to take part in some conversations, even if there are short, just so you get that practice. You will realize that you are able to deal with your anxiety, which will lower it a lot, and that the anxiety is happening within your head, not because there is some actual threat. I believe that you can do this, the fact that you uploaded this video talking so open about your feelings proves it! :) Also, you should seek therapy, which can support you a lot during this journey. You are not facing an issue that can't be resolved!

[@zachharn]

Crazy that so many people can relate to this including myself really makes you feel comforted that your not alone or crazy.

[@onetwothreefour5041]

The realest thing i have ever heard. I hope you figure things out and find a good balance in life and work👍 i also struggle w this so dont feel alone

[@stevejelly3161]

I always found the same thing !!! . Way back when i was just 20 years of age a friend said to me about the company i worked for :- . "IT SEEMS WITH COMPANIES THEY DONT CARE WHO THEY TAKE ON .. BUT MORE CHOOSEY OVER WHO THEY FIRE" !!!! . I've never forgotten his words !!!

[@shinyoshawott11]

this is so relatable it almost made me cry. this has been my situation at every job i’ve ever had. i want to talk and connect with them so bad but i get so anxious that i can’t think of a single thing to say. i hate being shy and introverted so much. it’s so debilitating

[@dekutree123]

Why are we all suddenly getting recommended this

[@Roonlovesfish3874]

I am sorry for what you had to go through 😔

[@chergosolo5513]

Damn I relate to this so much. I hate socializing at work or anywhere. I think as an introvert who hate socializing there’s still hope as long as u can find a workplace with a few people who u feel comfortable with. It’s hard to survive alone at a workplace especially if there’s too much office politics. Even now I hide myself in some corner of my workplace cos I want to have minimal contact with people but I still be out there talking to people when necessary. It’s a struggle but I need to pay my bills & I’d been in workforce for 10 years despite my hate towards socializing. Also the reason why some people get fired for not socializing is bcos it’s giving an impression that u can’t work in a team & not easy to work with.

[@sekuharadesu]

You should be yourself, don't be disappointed in yourself, your level of socialization is part of who you are and there is nothing wrong with it! People will like you for who you are and your genuine interests and thoughts. You'll probably eventually find that more people than you originally would have thought will enjoy your company. I hope you're doing better and working from home so you don't have to worry about these things.

[@pointloghabbits8458]

People are not on work to socialize, people are work to work. Then it get uncomfortable because they would pry into your personal life.

[@jasonvoorhees5640]

why would you get uncomfortable? something to hide? guilty conscience perhaps?

[@thegoat5484]

@@jasonvoorhees5640 lmao

[@dukes3883]

@@jasonvoorhees5640 it’s just not their business. And for someone who won’t speak much in a work place one would feel as if they’re over sharing stuff to the wrong people

[@jasonvoorhees5640]

@@dukes3883 you sound like a creep. no wonder nobody likes you.

[@dukes3883]

@@jasonvoorhees5640 and you’re a child

[@chescaashley5679]

I struggle with this too and people think I'm weird or awkward ...it's hard making friends ...

[@spencerwilson3298]

I'm so sorry that happened to you! That's so unfair! I pray this doesn't happen to me. I'm also an introvert. I talk to my co-workers to greet them, say goodbye, and ask for help because I'm new and I'm being trained. My co-workers also try to include me in conversations. Everyday I pray I won't lose this job. My speed for example isn't great and for two days this week, my manager has brought this up to me. Like I said, I'm new there and I'm being trained, and I've been told by my co-workers not to stress it, I'll pick up speed as I learn.

[@matteofilm]

I know I'm like 4 years late to this but honestly, I can relate to you 100%. I've had the same struggles for years now. whenever I found myself in a social situation with a stranger I became some sort of robot who was only capable of asking and answering basic questions when absolutely necessary. About a year ago I had enough of it. I was tired of feeling like an outcast because of my own incapability to preform basic socialising. So I decided to do something about it. What I've learned is that the only way you'll ever get rid of this problem is by doing exactly that what make you feel uncomfortable. Find ways to make contact with people. It will go terrible at first. Very awkward a lot of the time. But you gotta pull through that because what you'll come to find is that the more you do it the better you'll get at it. It was difficult to force myself to just do it. I chickened out a lot of times. But it was the few times where I didn't that made the difference because those times showed me that I had it in me. Just like with a lot of things, you have to start small and slowly build up. I was afraid of looking people in the eyes. It was very uncomfortable. Really I was just scared of judgement. So what I started doing was trying to look everyone i came across in the eyes and giving them a casual smile. I'll admit this made me look like a psychopath at times but it helped me a lot. It was because of this that I noticed something I never had before. Most people didn't even look at me. And those who did kindly smiled back most of the time. Some even quickly looked away seemingly out of fear to make eyecontact with a stranger. Just like I used to do. For some reason simply seeing this made me feel more at ease. From here I slowly started building up. Work was the perfect playground for this. First I started off by greeting my colleagues instead of avoiding them. Then after a while I would try to have small conversation. Just a little more than only a hi. Maybe comment on something. Or try to make a joke.( not like those always landed tho haha). I sucked at this at first but became better at it over time. Some people are naturals at talking with literally everybody. I learned that these people are the ones who are the easiest to approach. Therefore these people are the easiest to try and have longer conversations with. Also, just observing the way they handled social situations teached me a lot of things that I could apply myself. After a while of trying to preform small talk I progressed to having longer conversation. I noticed that I had become more open to the people around me. Which is a big difference from what I used to be like. I am now capable of having decent conversations with almost anyone. To a lot of people this may not seem like a big deal but for me it absolutely is because it made all the difference in my social life. I am no longer as anxious and I no longer feel like an outcast. I feel like I still have quite a way to go but that's ok. Because now I know that as long as I keep trying I'll get there eventually.

[@ThePsychicFish]

thanks 4 the comment this is great 👏👏

[@SuomenPaska]

Yeah I feel like social skills are like a muscle you have to constantly train, if you go extended periods without training it the first "workout session" will be painful. But the more you do it, the better your social muscles adapt and the more comfortable it becomes. At some point it will feel natural. I used to be social when I was exposed to social situations. Then I distanced myself from the people I could socialise with, and realised how absolutely terrible I've become at socialising, which in turn led to anxiety and avoiding those situations even more. I'm unsure how to force myself to make the awkward first step despite knowing its what I have to do.

[@kevingonzalez-james6421]

My parents are naturals at what your talking about. As a kid and especially teen, I used to think it was weird, “ why are you making small talk, shut up.” Now, I absolutely admire it and wish I would’ve taken notes. I am starting to say “buenos días” or “buenas tardes” when I’m out passing people walking my dog. It works sometimes but some people seem weirded out. Especially other younger people such as myself.

[@Ciruelatron]

@@kevingonzalez-james6421 They're only weirded out if they're from a big city I live in Mexico and you can get away with that in any place (towns, small cities, etc.) but cities sometimes. Lol it's almost embedded in me now too since I got this new job, so I'm more formal with everyone I see for some reason, wether or not I'm at work xD. (If that makes any sense)

[@Madn3ssMan]

Any tips man ? Any books or videos that have you that type of confidence 😂 😅 many thanks

[@lorenzcobretti9862]

As a software tester/qa analyst wherein i have to be always communicating with coworkers, i'm finally a little relieved that there are people like me who have this struggle in life for being idk, introvert or really socially awkward. But i keep on fighting by pretending for more than 4 years.. i know that they know i am awkward to be with most of the time but i'm happy that i was never fired for being the way i am. I am really trying my best to be more socially open and i am not forcing myself with this, i just want to prove to myself that i can also be freely comfortable in public. Lex do this guys!! Fighting! Stay safe! And let's try not to overthink all the time. Hugs!

[@emmanuelstyles6345]

you got fired because you were too busy thinking about socializing with your coworkers when you should've just been working.

[@ForTheOmnissiah]

Introverts, people with social anxiety, etc. always have it rough out there. I'm introverted and deal with social anxiety pretty substantially, it's honestly hell sometimes. I'm uncomfortable in almost any conversation, and what's worse is there are people who I seriously want to converse with and I know we have a lot in common, but my anxiety during basic conversation hinders me from making it work. It's isolating as hell, and I'm lucky I have a fiance whom I can confide in, otherwise there aren't many out there I'm comfortable talking to in any capacity.

[@jimbojimbo6873]

I wouldn’t throw introverts into that bucket

[@inessa5923]

@@jimbojimbo6873 Thank you for getting it. As a typical introvert, I am so tired of being lumped together with mentally ill people. I have no issues mingling with strangers at a party or making small talk with the cashier. I have a big circle of friends, many of which I've kept for many years. I'm tired of being treated as though I cannot function in a society because I greatly value solitude and personal space.

[@zarrowthehorse]

@@inessa5923 mentally ill?

[@inessa5923]

@@zarrowthehorse Social anxiety is a mental condition.

[@zarrowthehorse]

@@inessa5923 different from a mental illness right? unless ive been living with an illness my whole life and not knowing

[@cherryfreetzy]

I think you’re so brave for sharing how you’re feeling. I used to have that problem too. So I can understand perfectly what you were going through. Let me tell you that it’s not easy, but practice makes it easier. Exposing yourself in small dozes can have positive effects. Sending you a hug! You can do it, friend! And you’re not alone in this. Lots of people have the same issues. You have a right to shine.

[@FrodoL]

bro this guy seem so chill doe

[@MartinFernando7149]

I feel you my friend... I work part time retail store and all I do is work and not really say much to anyone of my coworkers. It just feels weird and uncomfortable but I am also there just for the check so I'm not worrying about what they think of me. As long as I do my job at the end of the day it's all good. But you are definitely not alone brother

[@lunasky6776]

I'm glad this popped up in my YT recommendations because this is very relatable to me and a lot of people. And I thought I was alone before seeing this. Thank you so much for sharing. This is the same way with how I feel with people too at my job and I hate it. I don't hate or dislike any of them at all, and I wish I could make friends with them or at least one of them because I get the feeling that they hate me now for not socializing with them or they probably most likely think that I don't like them. I do like them but I just have a very hard time socializing and often just hide back in my shell and just focus on working because I hate the feeling that it gives me. I wish work doesn't have to be like that, feeling forced to put on a happy face and like someone/make a friend the moment that you're new at the job. I very much would like it better if it's just work

[@vishaltyagi5031]

Honestly, I feel very glad to watch you say exactly what I feel right now. I also unable to connect or socialise with my coworkers at a job that I started two months ago. I get a lot of trash from my boss for not being able to be friends with them. Now, I really don't care what they think, I just do my job the best I can and try to connect or know then better, but I just refuse to be told what person I should become just for the convenience of corporate aholes.

[@pandulce4447]

I literally love this introverts speech

[@theyoungcentrist9110]

You are not alone. I’m introverted and it’s quite hard for me to communicate with my coworkers & other people in my life. I know that challenge but the one thing I’ve learn is talking to them like the things I enjoy talking about to make it far more comfortable to interact with them going forward.

[@dcos5]

i feel the same way. takes me years to even feel relaxed around new people.

[@solitudeguard5688]

I feel you bro- I have Asperger’s Syndrome and socialisation is extremely difficult for me, it makes me very anxious and I worry if people will judge me, it’s difficult because I am articulate and good at communicating, but inside I struggle. I hope you’ll be okay, I really do. Chin up bro :)

[@ratnashintadewi9091]

i feel the same in condition I want to talking with them but I feel like I want to avoid them when they are around me, it's complicated but I'm happy they always support me i hope you'll find your comfort place 💕🌸🍁 don't give up, love you

[@user-lh9nj1kt2l]

Mindless socializing is definitely a learned skill. It can be draining if you are more suited to meaningful conversations. It is a sort of monotonous daily task if you have a social aspect to your job ( like showering or brushing your teeth). I hope you are doing better.

[@tescobakery1927]

As someone who hasn't had a single friend since middle school, I can relate to this. The only form of social interaction I've had in the past 2 weeks is me saying hi to the cashier.

[@weakesthopemaxxer9507]

Good luck brother, I feel your pain

[@howardlam6181]

username checked out.

[@asaasssddd]

@@howardlam6181 Tesco bakery?

[@catmixo]

@@howardlam6181 But in a Tesco Bakery there are many people-

[@suqmaddiqq]

@@catmixo Yeah but you'd only say hi to the cashier if you're just buying bread or something lol

[@Arena204]

I completely understand how you feel because I'm facing that (social phopia), and so I feel that they dont care about me even though they do, but I tried with all my strength to break this negative trait, and I concluded that I'm more comfortable when I meet at least one close friend, so you dont really need to be social if this doesnt affect you negatively, and remember that people look at you completely normal and that they're not watching you "as I imagine" , I'm glad I found someone like me.