I Was Poisoned and Had Minutes to Live

[@shanerain88]

Average Murr punishment

[@sexygirlmax2019]

the worst punishment I've ever seen is murr having to get cathetered and Zipline lmfao

[@IxMicro]

least dangerous murr punishment

[@controversialopinion5722]

Sal got stuck in a room with a tiger. The only reason people think Myrr gets all the worst ones is because they cherry pick.

[@The_Nailsmith]

Enjoy me being your 3,000th like.

[@ShootaForFun]

@@controversialopinion5722 ur zero fucking fun at all lmfao

[@mr.coffee5220]

Sal got poisoned and had minutes to live, making him tonight’s biggest loser.

[@1Lo1L]

Doing Stand Up Comedy I Bet

[@SomeOrdinaryJanitor]

@@1Lo1L that was the punishment lmfao

[@SomeOrdinaryJanitor]

this is the fuckin' funniest comment i've read in a while.

[@xerilaun]

💀

[@sexygirlmax2019]

A man smoked 2 hits of hash and got poisoned by 1700 people and had minutes to live, this is what happened to his body

[@HandsomeLongshanks]

Dude smoked himself directly to "panic attack" levels of high. Been there, done that. So terrifying the first time, mildly annoying the 500th lol

[@miken8889]

you either have that panic attack or ya dont the 1st time. i was unlucky, lol

[@elitegamer6045]

I never got it when I first smoked but years after continually smoking one day I got the worst panic attack thought I was going to die now when ever I take tolerance breaks I have to be careful to not smoke too much when I start smoking again

[@HA05GER]

I had it and I'd smoked many times previously. It was bad I slept in a dog bed that night. I contemplated ending it it was grim. Didn't half laugh about it the next morning.

[@redpractition]

@@HA05GERi mean looking back can you giggle at lying in a dog bed? it's good to not hold onto the bad parts of memories?

[@AmbersDaintyThrowBlanket]

@@HA05GERa dog bed, dayum that sounds kinda cozy. I’ve gotten the sweats, dizzy, terrified and stayed in the bathtub freaking out. Not sure what I did different those few times that made me react that way

[@Finnegan_Floof]

no wonder he can handle being embarrassed in impractical jokers nothing can top this 😭😭😭😭

[@lojcun4253]

i don't know wheter it's a compliment or a hate comment 😂

[@RaniaBhatti]

@@lojcun4253how is it a hate comment

[@zanekersting9809]

@@lojcun4253sounds like dude watched the show so idk

[@hemalsharma8100]

@@RaniaBhatti llike hes calling the special embarrassing, I don't agree tho

[@deannamathews9102]

I wonder how much is actually true! To get a good comedic bit, there is usually quite a bit of embellishment. So I am sure not all of what he said is actually true...but if it is 😂😂😂

[@gibbler_]

Sal greened out on hash in Amsterdam, leaving him with trauma and making him tonight’s big loser!

[@L1KECLOCKWORK]

😂 😆

[@Xleesmashx]

Cute pfp

[@gibbler_]

@ thanks yours too! drew it myself :)

[@Krilium]

His storytelling is so vivid I felt EXACTLY what he was feeling. Everytime it happens, it feels brand new. Girlfriend definitely wasn't helpful lmao.

[@Calrus]

Depersonalization/Derealization from weed is horrifying

[@AFFRA]

Literally had the same experience Sal had and can confirm its one of the most disturbing things ive gone through in my life, felt like I was turning manic and ended up sleeping in the ER that night.

[@JoshLathamTutorials]

What makes it 100x worse is the time-dilation. When you’re super high, 5 minutes feels like an hour. So it might only last a couple of hours but it feels like forever.

[@Krilium]

Unfortunately, mine never left. It's been 8 years and I still have the DP/DR! Though it was LSD that I was spiked with, not weed.

[@mrshou112]

@@Krilium If it makes you feel any better I had it for 11 years and I'm now recovered from it. Hang in there buddy.

[@yepthatsanoodle]

@@Krilium buy some Agmatine. It lowers glutamate levels which may be causing your DP/DR

[@keykay1495]

the way sal masterfully controls his inflection and cadence is crazy. guy is really funny

[@awol.oper8r]

"Yeah, I'm just kidding though" got me

[@maybenatalie2624]

"And I've already made PEACE with it!" Killed me.

[@amandaszymczak388]

I WANT to believe there's some exaggeration here....for comedic effect, but I know Sal! he means every word with whole heart! This is exactly how it happened in his mind 😂😂

[@5yearslateranimated712]

no no lmao I had an incredibly similar experience ended up puking everywhere

[@amandaszymczak388]

@5yearslateranimated712 I'm sorry that happened to you, but I hope you can laugh at it 1 day! I think we've all been there at least once....if you haven't, ur not living loud enough 🤣🤣

[@deannamathews9102]

I was thinking the same thing!

[@adamdion7574]

Look at his eyes while he tells the story. 100% real and he's probably still very unsettled by it.

[@theheavenlyoption]

He's a hypochondriac and a little paranoid by nature so I don't think there was much exaggeration. He nailed that performance btw

[@m.michaels]

Wow he's a good comic. Maybe a little too clean for my taste but he's VERY, VERY good. His delivery, his story telling, the way he allows the perfect amount of time for laughter. I hope he continues the stand-up

[@frenchfriedbagel7035]

He’s pretty much been doing it his entire adult life.

[@mesiidor]

If you watch or listen to his podcast this isn’t in the slightest surprising, he speaks so fluently and has shared a lot about his life, he’s been doing it for yearssss

[@LadyBrett22]

You have got to look up his This Is Not Happening video. It's a freaking riot.

[@abrobot9261]

how can something be to clean?

[@NaveeSeal]

He's usually dirtier on Impractical Jokers

[@The-Urban-Goose]

02:02 is an absolutely brilliant bit, phenomenal delivery!

[@kakenboltorcher]

for anyone wondering, Hash is resin of super concentrated weed

[@cloudstrife6911]

Hash is just resin of good weed bro, no need to exaggerate it. I've smoked hash from good weed and it's not that strong 😂😂

[@k.mccandies1505]

I always knew Sal was funny on the show but this had me crying laughing 😂!!!

[@MaeMaeC2077]

“And I’ve already made peace with it” he was not playing 😭

[@Featherstep_Valiente]

It's so cool that he keeps a clean performance, too! No overabundance of curse words. Very rare to see someone not leaning on a crutch! Always loved this guy's comedy, this stand up holds up to what 12 seasons of impractical jokers.

[@Red4350]

I personally didnt even notice...same way i dont notice when someone casually curses because its how they talk naturally...but i can agree when its like every other sentence and sounds forced...its obnoxious and takes away from w.e they're saying

[@jerrysbrain]

sal just does stand up in 1930s pajamas now huh

[@sydneychauvin3729]

Been scrolling thru the comments to see if someone was gonna say it. Glad I'm not the only one that thinks so! 😂

[@kurikokuri]

i swear i've seen that top in the target women's section i'm so glad someone else noticed

[@yeskingslay]

I’m pretty sure he mentioned on Theo Von’s podcast that he got a lot of comments from people thinking it was a pyjama top and that it was actually Prada :)

[@abarairukia]

I have pajamas that look exactly like this and was looking for this comment 😂

[@sleepyelasticnickle1394]

That man is a very good story teller. Captivating. More of this, please.

[@fhl60s]

That’s literally my first time hearing these types or comedians in general and IM OBSESSED. HES TALENTED.

[@TheLastArbiter]

This is one of those stories that just keeps getting better and better, I was DYING at the end! 💀 Sal’s delivery was perfect. Also I imagine this illustrates the feeling of schizophrenia perfectly

[@sexygirlmax2019]

i was wheezing and got the hiccups and at the end i was just crying 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@sexygirlmax2019]

Riiiiiiicolaaaaaaaaaaa

[@LateNightHalo]

Dude, when he said he felt like he was drowning in his own thoughts 😂😂😂 I’ve gotten that high 3 times in my life and each time was the worst experience in my life

[@aPumpkn]

Im surprised honestly. This is the kind of comedian i like - telling humor through relatable situations and stories.

[@hhh2092]

thank you sal for blessing us with your comedy once again

[@johnlarson4254]

You mean Prince Herb?

[@shivlindsey2598]

why does sal sound like a younger Christopher Walken, not just the accent but the way he carries is words

[@j0rtsy]

I was scrolling looking for another comment.

[@aahyes9068]

Interesting. I've always thought he sounds like a gay New Yorker.

[@HamsterK37]

5:49 she's dating a guy from "Impractical Jokers" and doesn't believe he'll make a scene? 😅😂

[@aahyes9068]

Of course she believes he'll make a scene. That's undoubtedly why she was so determied to get some drugs & alcohol into him, if not a good part of why she's dating him. "It'll be fun" (to watch)

[@niko5008]

​@@aahyes9068or maybe she just likes the guy

[@Limeyss]

Oh my god I never knew Sal's standup was this good!!

[@arthurhex]

The way he explains the bad trip reminds me of my own with shrooms, minus the paranoia. It was like my mind was melting around me, and i was drowning in it simultaneously.

[@arthurmartin4616]

Wish I could get that far without throwing up

[@SieMiezekatze]

Real life is for those who cant bear Psychedelics as they say , I know I prefer real life more

[@brandibastian4193]

This man needs another special immediately! Also this story kind of makes me want to watch EuroTrip again (particularly the scene where Jenny and Scotty are in the bakery in Amsterdam and they're like hash brownies are completely legal here and they order a big platter and start getting high and then they realize they're absolutely not drugged it was all in their heads) Not going to lie I think they would notice a difference between regular brownies and hash brownies I imagine if it was enough to get you high you would taste it... ... ...then again circling back to Sal he wants posted I believe it was on Twitter that somebody brought an apple pie to the set of IJ he didn't realize had pot in it because he couldn't taste it and he had a full slice and thought he needed to get his stomach pumped 😂 I was a brand new fan at this time and didn't know he'd ever partaken at the time especially since he seemed panicked about it my main concern was it wasn't exactly legal everywhere in the us at the time and I was like don't post that s*** I don't want him getting in trouble (especially since he didn't know) and I know he's already got enough problems because he's got a live show that night!

[@18chucksta]

Euro trip is on Netflix rn😂

[@chowder333]

it was likely a hash hole or "donut" like a preroll

[@Godeias]

Legit one of my new favorite comics

[@Steaky007]

I can feel the high-panic so strong in this story 😂 I’ve been in a few situations similar and it’s genuinely terrifying in the moment. Sal is an incredible comic, I knew he was good but damn he’s really good, even for an American

[@xerilaun]

“I have an idea…I’ll REACH” LOOL 8:20

[@semianonymous8494]

My friend sent me a link to this, and I'd never seen your stand up before now. You're awesome at telling an engaging story!

[@alecks8432]

Sounds like weed induced psychosis, my ex girlfriend went through the same thing - also described it as people are after her or she has to run away. Scary stuff.

[@jlt131]

this was great. i hope rufus sees it, and has an "ohhhh that was what was happening" moment

[@breannadetrano3293]

“Ok Sal, now try to last an hour without getting any medical attention.”

[@lolzjeni]

Bro hit the rosin and greened out

[@Gene-XL]

I’m actually angry hearing his wife’s response. I’ve been that terrifyingly high before and to feel that way AND not be supported by THE ONE PERSON you count on for that very thing!!! What a terrible situation to be in.

[@ariaalmanza3246]

In her defense she was high too 😂 sometimes when I’m around someone who trips out like that when I’m high asf too, i just gotta play it cool or else you BOTH are gonna be panicking 😭 someone’s gotta be the calm one but i can see ur frustration! It’s good to be around someone else who’s not high if you’re not used of smoking. Those are the people who grab the munchies and juice for you! lmao

[@learthur1865]

him: "i was fucking dying" audience: *laughs their asses off*

[@Copperyfoxx]

Advice from a stoner: don’t try new substances in unfamiliar places willy nilly. You should feel comfortable and safe and have a sober buddy you trust to supervise you. Also, if you do not regularly use cannabis, do not drink when you partake, or at least seriously pace yourself.

[@DopaminedotSeek3rcolonthree]

Very good advice. Last thing you want to do is be high near strangers in a place you don't know. Especially if you don't speak the language.

[@bryanspanjer3213]

I don't trust his girlfriend

[@DopaminedotSeek3rcolonthree]

@@bryanspanjer3213 At the very least, she admitted that it was entirely on her and it would never happen again.

[@TheBalls2thewalls]

I have watched your new special 3 times. It's a really good special and this story was great! Knew you did stand up but i did not know you were this good. The only stand up i saw from you before was your punishment, and that was rough to watch 😂.

[@thatainthot]

I just love the way he talks and his sense of humor 😂

[@tannerconklin8223]

Remembering your first time being high elevates this so much

[@BrandoOnTheScreen]

This was off the walll 😂😂 I love it

[@250JefeMane]

I call this “the never ending joke”

[@ZalexMusic]

It really makes me happy that Sal is so good at standup.

[@Anonymous-dy1up]

Thank you for this. You've strengthened me even further in my conviction to never, ever, ever try drugs. My life is anxiety-inducing enough already.

[@eggsandcream9720]

Didn’t expect Sal to be such a good stand up/ story teller 👏👏fair play

[@JoshuaMorgan-nw4rg]

Bro this is the BEST story of someone being high I’ve EVER heard. And I’ve seen ALOT😂😂😂😂

[@HamsterK37]

The callbacks...The structure...The timing.. Amazing joke.

[@KidIll]

To see these guys been successful in stand up is heart warming.. they’ve carried Comedy Central since god knows how long.. good to see them all doing well still 👍🏼

[@SouperPie.]

the gasp that i gasped when it clicked in my mind that it, in fact, was not a ricola

[@Jestylor6]

The reason drugs are bad is someone saying "you're with me I'll take care of you" while actively not taking care of you doesn't register as a problem. But then there's more...

[@Qs2s]

didn’t know sal was so funny in a standup comedy setting i wanna see a netflix special frrrr

[@dev671]

A good punishment would be Sal doing his regular stand up comedy and the audience being instructed to not laugh for any of his jokes, keep booing or getting out from their seats ! 😂

[@GERMANAITOR]

Damn, Sal's wife would be a HORRIBLE trip sitter😂😅 Imagine if she went, "Shrooms are legal here! Let's try some!"

[@agent_unwept1469]

8:49 i almost just burst out laughing in the middle of a dead quiet classroom

[@ptxc1639]

I love impractical but seeing sal do his own stuff is great.

[@patriciobatumanjr.4151]

Omg sal, that was hilarious , i feel like the audience really did not know how to react, but man that was a really funny history. The best part is that i was recreating everything in my mind which made it even better 😂

[@TheSadieFables]

The ending gave me an orgasm of the brain, I don’t how to explain it, the structure was impeccable. You think it’s over and then the entire story flips like dominoes in your brain with that one small detail change. I’m sure he’s not the first to do this, but I’ve never heard it done so well.

[@KrystalMimms]

The ending brought the bit together beautifully! Well done!

[@kellyjackson4973]

Why is he wearing a pajama top!! lol. I love this guy.

[@SieMiezekatze]

He answered real salty in a interview that is what a Prada shirt

[@SpleenathonOfficial]

@@SieMiezekatze Where is the interview?

[@hexgates]

my first weed panic attack was quite the doozy. my first time doing shrooms was horrifying too because i was in a bad headspace for awhile and freaked tf out. thought i was dying. ended up having to call my mom and she drove an hour at 2am to talk to me lol. bless her heart

[@natalieshicks7880]

The first time my daughter got high she was going around the apartment asking weird questions. One of the questions was why we (her parents) allowed our little girl to marry this old man. Her husband was24 at the time and she was 20. Now she is a little person who looked 14. It took me a while to convince her that he was her husband, and she wasn't underaged. she finally believed me then she said "Dinosaurs don't know they are dinosaurs until they are dinosaurs." She is reminded of this every time her brother-in-law comes into town and they all get high. She is like are you guys ever gonna let that go? The answer is "NO".

[@Ribcut]

Smoked for years and considered it the most important plant in the universe. One day that randomly started happening, and I never looked back.

[@ethan.branthoover3460]

5:12 id laugh too if someone i was with went full Truman show next to me

[@AlexJones-sv4eu]

"I will always love you" took me out 😂😂

[@Loyal2none]

high as shit watching this, never laughed so hard xD

[@AlexDaeling]

I will never doubt sal's game again

[@thebrownshinobi]

I’m not gonna lie this was hilarious. But what makes it funnier is that I’ve watched this entire set already, I was just so high when I did that I didn’t make sense of any of it and had a panic attack 😂

[@clmillerbunny]

Sal's story-telling skills are IMPECCABLE. I can't wait to see him live in two weeks!! 😁

[@twenty-2923]

Not as bad as when he freaked out when stamps went up again 😂😂

[@bboppppppppppppp]

his description of being on hash is how my brain normally operates

[@bboppppppppppppp]

which feels bad

[@neocrimsoncloud]

Sorry to hear that. Have you been diagnosed with anything? Sounds like therapy/medication might be something that could help you out.

[@nyanya-ray7235]

Baby, are we going bowling or going to bed😂...love you Sal

[@TheF.M.J.S]

Weed has made me go into manic states and I’ve done things I never would’ve done…I’m ashamed beyond belief, I’ve almost ruined my relationships with family and loved ones and have destroyed friendships because of weed. I’ve stopped doing weed and I’ve never felt better. If you’re able to handle it. More power to you and I hope you enjoy it. I use to, but it turned me into someone I didn’t know or a side of me that I kept under wraps came exploding out. No matter how hard I tried to rationalize stuff. But I feel better and am doing better. And am self reflecting everyday. And trying to be better.

[@TreyHusted]

Yeah, just a bowl of Hash get ya cooked 😂😂 That sounds like a good night 😂😂

[@MsASMARVEL]

"Everybody mad?" fucking SENDS me every time!!

[@psychojoe4764]

Sal got teleported to the John Wick universe

[@GotrennMatthis]

Struggling with panic attacks when I smoke recently. Never happened before in my life

[@willtheham1]

So Hash, I guess is from google "compressed weed" So pretty much a bunch of weed smashed together to fit more.

[@TheOrangeSunsetGaming]

It definitely messes you up. I smoked some then went skateboarding 😂 big mistake

[@buvvins6687]

Its basically concentrated weed. sometimes its called "Shit" because it looks like little pebbles of poop. I heavily prefer buds.

[@itsspanbro831]

Yeah, it's usually compressed thc crystals that the buds shake off. It's ok, I'd rather just sprinkle the shake on top of a bowl of bud

[@Godsmistakelol]

It's a bit more complicated than that. It's the trichomes, basically weed pollen, compressed either with or without heat. It works kind of how making olive oil works, you just press it really hard. Right before the oil is expressed out you stop. You can basically compress down an ounce of weed into fourish grams

[@hem9483]

much more complex than this in practice

[@AmbersDaintyThrowBlanket]

Sal has the best delivery 🙌 Used to listen to WSY? podcast way back. Glad he’s killing it!

[@ModernDayRenaissanceMan]

This happened to me when I watched Avatar 3D when it first came out in theaters. I thought that monster that came out in the first 15 minutes of the movie was actually chasing me. I was clawing at my seats trying not to leave because I didn't want to be that guy who got up and left right there because it would be so obvious and I feel like everyone in the theater would look at me. You know how you feel trapped in those situations yeah. It was really bad

[@jayceisking]

“And it said HERROW WIN” 😭

[@tapperjr93]

I've got tears running down my face from laughing so hard at the ending 😂

[@alana2830]

Your description of having a million thoughts etc. exactly how it feels for me having autism and ADHD... Have never been able to articulate that feeling before so thank you... Your traumatic drug-taking adventure has helped at least one person in the world 😂

[@rednefarious6968]

I'm amazed how few people know hash. so the little brown bits of the bud where the thc comes from? yeah pounds of it compressed and rolled together into a nice potent powder or brick. Very strong, very smooth, a great bowl topper and... you smoked a JOINT of hash? or just a bowl of pure hash? I ask because I've never had enough to roll an entire joint of it, but after hearing this story... I REALLY want to.

[@marvinkline5667]

I'm amazed you try to educate others and have no clue what you're talking about lol. Hash(there are many kinds depending on how you make it) but is thc resin from buds. You can make finger roll after a harvest from your hands. You can collect the crystals from frozen bud and compress with heat and make some of the finest rosin you can imagine. You can make full melt bubble hash from an ice bath and agitation. No hash would be good to roll a joint out of due to slow burning and liquidity. A little hash in a joint yeah and all hash joint no. Most hash is smoked by itself or as a topper for flower. Bubble hash can be smoked through a dab rig. We've made temple balls after harvest the traditional way by rubbing bud on burlap and collecting the rosin.

[@limchat2188]

Hash holes are where it's at

[@kobblestone]

“Alright now Sal, I want you to look down and read what the bag says”

[@fueldbyirony8126]

Sals going far this shit was hilarious

[@dylanjcp]

holy shit this was hilarious, what a set!

[@shawnfoster4506]

The beauty of success is being able to work in your pajamas 😂

[@AszonNG]

this was amazing lmao

[@parkerstroh6586]

Maybe the best weed story I’ve ever heard

[@Rat_Boy_Edits]

She was indeed not looking out for you haha

[@rileycoulter9379]

sal we need more live specials/ stand up videos pleaseee

[@inkspiII]

"I felt like I was drowning and suffocating in my thoughts" Sal, don't ever do ketamine, it feels just like this and my panicked OCD thoughts have this exact thought process it's AWFUL LMAO

[@VXRGO85]

“but it wasn’t a hash brown because it was after 11 am!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@thesha45]

Sal morphing into Andrew Schulz but a very likable version😂

[@Thetangibletim]

4:29 for anyone who knows someone who is bipolar this describes mania pretty well

[@johnlarson4254]

Typical Prince Herb stuff here. Lol

[@thisisnotme3861]

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time

[@HandsomeLongshanks]

4:26 welcome to my brain ALL of the time. And now yall know why i smoke weed lol it makes the thoughts stop.

[@13lack_Rose]

opposite for me

[@holderofthetriforce9355]

Same dude.

[@wildersparks9161]

People say that, but then they quit and all that happens is they get a job.