i watched the heathers riverdale episode so you don’t have to

i did this purely for fun. there were some good moments in the episode and i was a little lost considering i haven’t watched the show since season 2 but it seems pretty wild.
also, i have an instagram! if you like musicals and you like art, it’s the place for you. my handle is @michael.is.chill, or just follow the link below:
/ michael.is.chill
only god knows if i’ll actually upload something like this again. i was just inspired. see ya peeps!

[@mikeyunderstars]

this fuckin blew up so i’m just gonna reiterate that THIS WAS PURELY FOR FUN. i do not hate anyone who is involved with riverdale, nor do i hate people that do like riverdale. this is just the opinion of someone on the internet that didn’t expect this to get as popular as it did, so don’t take my words too seriously. also! i have an art instagram! if you like musicals, it’s the place for you. you can find me at @michael.is.chill, or just follow the link! instagram.com/michael.is.chill?igshid=1qrssw3pvlsa2

[@IsabellaCorrigal]

I was gonna dislike but then I read this and I was like oh you accepte that people have there own opinions so ya

[@maxjones503]

@@IsabellaCorrigal Seems a bit negative as a pre-requisite to me that you would assume he wouldn't accept that based on him simply expressing his own opinion.

[@kaliahhill7113]

Were u mad or sum when u made this vid? Or do u just put hate on the internet for fun?

[@maxjones503]

@@kaliahhill7113 You've rather restricted his options there. If I had to guess I'd say he was mad (or, as you suggest, something to that effect) at the episode for how cringe and awful his experience watching this was. Otherwise the purpose of the video was comedy and criticism and had nothing to do with the gentleman's personal emotions or hatred in any form.

[@kaliahhill7113]

Max Jones cool

[@asking3196]

I love how Riverdale is basically a show about murders, sex, and cursing, and they change the words to be more kid friendly lmfaooooo

[@malloryfallon6394]

Casualtofu ikrrrrrr??? It’s so stupid

[@CatsRc00l]

For the bad parts my mom makes me not look :/

[@lydiahillard6946]

There ain't no cursing in riverdale

[@jillreyerma7592]

@@lydiahillard6946 Which is way more confusing.

[@desicrawford4086]

For real😂

[@dont_question_my_motives]

Cole Sprouse survived a whole career in Disney without having to sing just to end up in this Riverdale mess of a musical

[@Chrjstheshadow]

Didn’t they make him sing in that high school musical rip off on suite life?

[@sebaekons1534]

Rosanne Walcott he doesn’t even like musicals

[@ItsDreame]

When he started singing i was like why did do this mans like this...

[@1.brook1ynrae]

he sounded better in five feet apart and it wasn't supposed to sound good in that movie

[@TDIfan241]

Excuse me, he sung in the Tipton commercial.

[@emi6082]

I feel like Veronica wouldn’t mind if J.D blew up Riverdale High instead

[@weirdmusickid6953]

No one would

[@virginiasmiles8865]

BAHAHAHHAHAHA

[@veronicasawyer]

I would :)

[@oryalevi4126]

If they do Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, or Wicked I'm rioting

[@tostadaprincess8736]

Same

[@macaronweasley8100]

And Newsies. Please don't ruin Newsies.

[@JD-gj8zx]

They should do Phantom

[@josuneh4365]

@@JD-gj8zx I agree with that statement

[@maijashea]

DEH is the only one I see them doing out of these. They only really do high school centric musicals

[@v.v365]

Cole thought he escaped having to sing on tv when he left Disney Channel

[@ajawilliams7082]

V.V LMAOOO😂😂 ikr

[@shycuz9412]

Hahaha poor thing

[@mariangelortiz5378]

V.V 🤣🤣🤣

[@LivesInHerBooks]

Who was he on Disney?I dont recodnise his Face.....

[@miikapm2]

@@LivesInHerBooks Cody from Suite Life of Zack and Cody

[@thomashart7657]

It’s like the writer and the choreographer are the same person

[@todoroki-senpai3630]

LMAO 😂

[@jamie.lynn004]

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD OMG THANK YOU😂

[@smol_potato5977]

Yeah, they're both absolute shit

[@serenmurphy2082]

they are both high when they do their jobs

[@thomashart7657]

Seren Murphy yep lol

[@c0llapsingst4rs]

the “ice cream” and “doorknob” killed me

[@weirdmusickid6953]

Riverdale fans be like:omg that color makes you look like a doorknob Other Riverdale fan:why you so mean I just wanted to have my mom get me ice cream:( (Sorry of this is not that funny but at least it's better than the Riverdale Candy store)

[@j.k5840]

I HATED how they sang an octave lower at Candy store…. I can’t…😨😨

[@tehe5652]

ICECREAM-???

[@burushifudara]

@@tehe5652 I read that the ice cream instead of snack was for rhyming purposes but who knows

[@thesmileshow9651]

"Dirty dancing with the football team" "ice cream" ... *It kinda sound like something google translate would do, not gonna lie*

[@sunshanshrav1]

are you a fan of Translator fails If so, ATLANTA WILL BE INTERESTING FOR THE STHUTHGART (all caps)

[@hazyhope._.]

Damn, and I google translated the real lyrics and they sounded better than this: Are you in trouble? Do you have a choice At this point Why do you want my penis now? Eyes split And everyone can see it here But i was happy Here are some suggestions Listen, Bioch. favorite! Looks warm Buy something you can never buy favorite! Drink a lot Maxine's father credit card favorite! Skippin Health Fear him Quay favorite! Toxic clothing Nose nose. If you forgive the ball You can play Let your mom narrow down your favorites come Or you can smoke Add charcoal beer Porsche in 15 minutes Sound sound sound What do you think Welcome to my candy store It's time to abandon her and move on They also lost Then go to my candy store Boy is falling At your feet Pay attention to money Help me deceive myself together go Gauma This is a trick Not your friend I see the end If: Do you have a chance This will cause them to fail. -Of course, if you don't mind. good! Dry your hair Boy Sesame Street come Or forget to crawl He was sitting in my car In the grass Sound sound sound What do you think Welcome to my candy store You have to show it Not a few of you Then go to my candy store You can join the group Or you can cry and cry You can live your dreams Or you may die alone You can fly with an eagle Or if you like Continue testing This has the same purpose. Veronica, Lee. Lamb invited her to his party. The show showed that he was concerned about me. Model of my product. I am very happy! come Dear I miss you Come on, Heather. Please visit my candy store. It's time to abandon her and move on My mother didn't Oխխ Oյ օ O: Then go to my candy store.

[@naranciaghirga3546]

@@hazyhope._. man, i love Google translate.

[@strwberry_xoxo]

@@sunshanshrav1 HAWAII HE HE HE

[@oDM0o]

Don't forget *d o o r k n o b*

[@Nobody-qk4xu]

I'm rooting for JD in this one.

[@yermum3283]

Lmfao this comment is underrated as fuck

[@orange-u-tan1344]

🤣🤣🤣

[@emi6082]

Same

[@ghost-dh6sb]

same

[@sydney.5235]

LMAO YUP

[@sarah-xs6dw]

kid: “mommm can we get heathers” mom: “we have heathers at home” heathers at home:

[@eabhakelly6933]

sarah OMG this comment deserves way more likes 😂😂😂

[@hugorolland2635]

HAHAHHA

[@janemcnamara917]

bahahahahaha

[@seslywilliams4914]

😂😂

[@basukoi5299]

Lol! 😂😂😂

[@ggc7463]

Cole survived a full disney career without singing and caved for this?

[@hyjinx1889]

bruh this is so obviously copied like ur right above the og comment

[@amylewis1012]

Autotune C, Autotune D, and Autotune M I couldn’t stop laughing 😂

[@loonatics1199]

*Riverdale: Censors words that aren’t inappropriate* *Also Riverdale: Has a scene of two 16/17 year olds doing BDSM*

[@olivialozano3536]

also doing that in a secret illegal casino

[@marlaott3548]

Literally singing doorknob while basically twerking

[@alexcollins1472]

Tea And Betty who is like 16/17 Stripping in front of grown ass people

[@_leni]

Who did BDSM and when?!

[@ryanr2590]

@@_leni toni n cheryl bruh

[@taintedmeat]

emergency! kevin keller is IN THE HOSPITAL due to extreme back injury from carrying the weight of this whole episode!

[@janellexoxoxo]

*coughs* you mean series?

[@katieruby6630]

omg is he ok ??!!

[@joshmckenzie1458]

Can we get like 420 likes on this lmao

[@lilymaid3139]

I mean the actor does have broadway training but for some reason he’s on riverdale??? 😐

[@sarahennis6097]

@@lilymaid3139 idk if he does but his brother is a broadway actor

[@ladylynx9891]

"if you like the juice" me: ... what? "go play duck-duck-goose" me: hol up... "let your mommy fix you i C e C r E a M" me: *wheeeeze*

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

The ice cream confused me too. When tf was “snack” considered too controversial to be mentioned?

[@kjMikaelson]

And the lyrics dont even make sense😂😂😂

[@greyyy4546]

Kurt and Ram didnt die to be disrespected like this LMAO I’m dead 😂😂

[@Justteoeveryday]

Like Kurt and ram

[@maapauu4282]

You make the jocks so blue... You hurt them badly

[@bananaman8274]

They did them dirty, dude... they're dying sadly

[@gimmedaplaydoh1109]

If Kidz Bop covered Heathers..

[@rainbowgrden]

SunnyScreen25 nah kidz bop is better than this shit

[@lunavvakalendula5943]

Gimme Da Playdoh don’t do kidz bop dirty

[@yoshikagekira990]

@@rainbowgrden Sad thing is you're right...

[@Trinthegay]

@@rainbowgrden actually, this is better than kidz bop

[@haleyfolk7018]

Kidz bop would be sooo much worse

[@Ham-Prince]

JD: I almost blew up the wrong fictional school.

[@exilley2134]

HamPrince underrated comment

[@chickentenders697]

If he were to blow this one up, nobody would care.

[@semiautomatic7415]

If he blew this one up he would be a saint

[@Crows4Hoes]

Semi Automatic exactly XD

[@olivewood9441]

yes make it go boom

[@april_15]

Season 1: Could be better Season 2: TAKE ME BACK Season 3: I SAID TAKE ME B-

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

Season 6: Alright I’m done someone get me the tequila and the shot glass.

[@user-jj7ym2ub9k]

No one: Archie: rEd CiRcLE Veronica: dAddY DaDDy DAddY daDdY Betty: sErIal KillEr GeNeS Jughead: iM WeiRd, I’m A WeiRDo Cheryl: tOOdlEs (or something in *french* ) Toni: ...

[@dadalapa7001]

Remember when river dale was about finding information about Jason blossoms murder 🙃

[@olivialozano3536]

remember when riverdale was actually good and not satanic and serial killers

[@dadalapa7001]

Simone Lozano 😂 yes ahh season one days

[@pixiekat4649]

Simone Lozano no.. i don’t remember, because it was never good 🙃

[@sajra1958]

good days

[@sofyva6087]

Dada Lapa first it was pretty little liars now it’s glee

[@simon_says_lots_of_things]

*Kurt and Ram didn't die to be disrespected like this*

[@salonii6345]

haahahaha literally

[@loserme414]

I want to like it, but 666 likes...! Edit: ant -> want

[@JM-lh8rl]

Scribble Note They really did my gay jock bois dirty like that :/

[@neutralpie420]

Kurt and Ram's dads will get the revenge.

[@vidrocorderosa]

neither did heather c

[@randomrat3150]

Everyone: emotionless Random guys: *extreme passion* wHy Did I HiT HiM?!

[@mary-uq1jz]

i’m so sorry cole i thought we left this in 2010

[@alexc9985]

Remember when Archie wanted to pursue a music career lmao

[@lonelyghost1851]

alx xox i haven’t watched the show since the first season did that stop?? they just abandoned that?

[@user-gg6do1zp7k]

@@lonelyghost1851 yeah he likes boxing now for some reason

[@lonelyghost1851]

Procrastinate what the fuck lmao

[@Isabeltherat]

i was laughing during the first musical episode cause one of the only characters pursuing a music career sounded terrible lmaoo

[@decentgrocerybag4003]

isabel the rat Wait? THERES MORE? WHY

[@mpaz2607]

“Time to prove your not a doorknob anymore.” Lmaooo just say loser

[@MKitch04]

Ik they say cuss words, have VERY dirty dancing, but saying the word looser is bad ?🤔

[@amityislandchum]

@@MKitch04 The word they censored is "pussy." It just would've been smart to say "loser" again, rather than substitute "doorknob."

[@bethpeacock17]

Pussy ≠ doorknob 🧐

[@girlkisser9000_]

what does that even mean

[@juicemom2457]

@@bethpeacock17 they could've said coward :,)

[@consultingotter221b]

The fact that actual schools don't even censor the musical when they do it yet Riverdale felt the need to

[@rachellathem]

literally i would just watch kevin sing this whole musical and i would be satisfied

[@burushifudara]

With my ear, I'm not even sure who's Kevin cuz I am terrible with tones I'm used to listening to voice banks singing, so autotune stopped existing for my ear And also I'm just terrible with tunes so even bad stuff can sound decent to me

[@LYD7ADE3TZ]

Satisfied?

[@athena5629]

No one: Jughead: *sings very low to stay a "badass*

[@ana-py9pp]

Brooke Vidds to stay different, edgy and unlike other boys.

[@skyerowell8082]

Brooke Vidds a weirdo i was led to believe

[@yoongischubbycheeks2544]

nah cole just hated the fact that he went throught disney without singing but had to deal with this bull crap instead

[@skyerowell8082]

Kai Lee yeah

[@heejinators7342]

In case you didn’t notice: he’s weird, he’s a weirdo, he doesn’t fit in

[@rose_1016]

This sounds like a middle school production of Heather's that was rehearsed in one month

[@jesylv]

Alexandria _10 so illegal Heathers?

[@sallyhutcherson6350]

Jenna Sylvain the poor girl who played heather chandler didn’t deserve it

[@jesylv]

Sally Hutcherson her apologizing to the audience during one song was everything

[@_Sofi_229]

@@jesylv Not be that person but Illegal Heathers was produced by a high school I almost auditioned for Heather McNamara

[@jesylv]

/Sofie/ I know it was done by a high school. I also know they had little to no time to rehearse and everyone was worse off being apart of it and it’s not their fault it didn’t go great

[@linahasse5903]

I love how no one hates this show more than lili

[@cwp4eva]

For real?

[@kelialunaargentino2721]

@@cwp4eva look at their interviews she always looks done af lmaoo

[@emersonlynn8383]

why are betty and kevin the ONLY people who dont frikin need autotune

[@melodytheatre2887]

“Are all of you this miserable?” Hermione Lodge just dissed this entire show with one line.

[@unwrittenemmy098]

666th like

[@gayforcherylblossom2040]

That’s why we Stan.

[@ElliesSideChick]

Stan Hermione

[@laiyamedina2203]

Old riverdale: graphic scenes of Archie punching through ice and breaking his hand, sex scenes, guns, drugs, serial killers, suicide, and assault New riverdale: Director: “ I hope there isn’t any swear words. That would be AWLFUL.”

[@incomments2864]

Laiya Medina “Lest make it high school musical 2.0”

[@katox3578]

Sobble In Comments they changed words on this musical BECAUSE it’s illegal :/

[@slug05]

katox how is it illegal?

[@novuna9674]

@@katox3578 You mean copyright?

[@andaiibori7205]

Meryl-Moon which is illegal

[@brooklyn4338]

Me: SHIT YES NEW RIVERDALE EPISODE Also me: *watches Heathers episode* Also also me: *cries in Heathers*

[@maddersslowedbangers256]

the doorknob line gets me literally every time

[@fernandameireles3268]

Archie went full Troy Bolton

[@LondonLightsBeauty]

Don’t ever disrespect Troy Bolton like that again.

[@theoutsiderjess4869]

Troy bolton can actually sing

[@fernandameireles3268]

Kapten Vågskum love yours too!! And yes, Game of Thrones and Marvel are like, my entire life 😂

[@fernandameireles3268]

Jessica Francis shit, you’re right!!

[@wqlbur5162]

Kapten Vågskum it’s true love

[@ameliasaladino8919]

the boys singing off key is really getting on my nerves i’m gonna cry

[@makennapatton3680]

And when they dropped the octave in Candy Store🤢

[@emilia8629]

@Millennial falcon but how the boys did on big fun and Cole... its another level

[@onekem]

@Sarah Mc Nulty Lmao their not actually serious about crying. Relax.

[@margaritapeggyschuylervanr2486]

You know what, I’m gonna let JD slide with this school

[@AhriPortto]

They destroy my Heather's musical, I can't believe....

[@WitchyMaeWhims]

Honestly it’s just the Kidz Bop version of Heathers 😂😂

[@thepinkviolinist]

THIS NEEDS MORE LIKES RN

[@emmipt]

Except is still says bitch but got forbid they say snack..

[@soupii]

emmipt or quaterback, cant have any sinful language in riverdale

[@scythhr5034]

It really is.

[@dahliavillagomez9592]

😂💀

[@cloudedits9326]

in the video; *autotune C, autotune D, autotune M* me: I CANT BREATHE

[@whywhyywhyyy]

Cloud Edits lmao that part always gets me as well

[@connorphilipp]

Lol I'm slow

[@cam_luong]

@@connorphilipp Don't worry, I am too lmao. I had to actually pay attention to realize that xD

[@connorphilipp]

@@nathanhendradi2062 C and D are notes in music. M doesn't exist

[@cam_luong]

@@nathanhendradi2062 The Heathers last names are Chandler, Duke, and McNamara. And they were singing their parts so Autotune C D and M 😂

[@aestheticdepression2280]

that monotone: why do I act like such a creep? I cried and questioned humanity. Every lyric change hurt me-

[@kyloseristyping2418]

0:34 whoever sang 'why did i hit him' did sm better than everyone else in the whole song somehow..

[@syoo2458]

“Jughead not you too” is just how I feel about the whole show

[@horsecrazy3774]

Yes Same

[@giselle9453]

Same

[@trista7356]

The musical episodes were bad but the show I love it

[@thejolocousins5264]

You can tell jughead is like kill me now 🤣 His character would definitely never do the musical episode but whatever

[@RoboThot711]

Wow Kevin must be really strong from carrying the whole episode on his back

[@ayazmohmand1780]

Serena Koehler I don’t get it

[@WarmWafflez]

@@ayazmohmand1780 They are just saying that Kevin is the only one that can sing.

[@theepoopydoodoo]

You see how buff he is??? He knew what he had to do

[@simly5189]

Am I the only one who thinks Casey did mediocre? I mean the line "I feel like Bono at LiveAid" was too low/off key, and we KNOW Casey Cott has the range to hit those notes correctly

[@theepoopydoodoo]

@@simly5189 He's a good singer but he wasn't the one directing the vocals or the one choosing which takes of the lines they used.

[@miscellaneousm2511]

‘Oh Cole not you too’ - that really got me😂

[@luckimi_]

NAH CUZ "Kurt and Ram didnt die to be disrespected like this" GOT ME SO HARD

[@ablosan6216]

Editor:how much autotune do you want in their voices? Director:yes.

[@popipop28]

Even autotune cant save them fam

[@stahpplsiamaninnocentbean285]

Editor : should we autotune the worse singers? Director: nah make them louder than anybody else

[@jaslynnh7740]

u guys can make fun of the show,, but not the actors..their real people come one

[@kai5232]

Director: so how should we do the choreography? Producer: no

[@anon_charli3225]

I love this

[@aurawarrior1367]

I think they just threw the songs in the episode without any context, like they're just listing the songs thinking they'll still have their emotional impact. WELL THEY DON'T! God this is so high school production level it's illegal heathers all over again.

[@jello6548]

As a theater kid, this episode was VERY triggering 😭

[@clellallison6613]

winona ryder career’s didn’t die and come back to life for this

[@cavejohnsonstanaccount4635]

dxrling it really didn’t, how dare they disrespect a legend like that

[@ElizabethGonzalez-lz6zl]

Lol when did it die? She is in stranger things

[@clellallison6613]

Elizabeth Gonzalez she got caught shoplifting at Marc Jacobs in the early 2000s, and that hurt her acting career a bit. Then Stranger Things revived her career.

[@ash-hm4bt]

Period

[@jiminslesgf]

dxrling whoah i didn't know that

[@V.ss.31]

Heather C, Kurt, Ram, and JD didn’t die for this.

[@stahpplsiamaninnocentbean285]

My vocal chords didn't die trying to hit Heather C's high notes in Candy Store for this.

[@Necromaira]

PREACH

[@romeorusso567]

Tea

[@V.ss.31]

Romeo Russo oh hush

[@kiramdd]

Yes, hello I like pink jd deserved what he got😭

[@not.monika.w]

0:34 kevin's reaction to what's going on

[@emi6082]

Wow this is making ‘Illegal Heathers’ look like a Broadway production

[@elysiaayala6441]

This crap makes illegal Heathers look like broadway

[@mirandaelena-xu8pu]

I was honestly thinking the same thing

[@mamabear1394]

That's bad that's very very very bad

[@insanelygayjaredkleinman5335]

YES

[@axaalex74]

And that is very concerning...

[@randommusicalnerd]

True so freakin true. And then the people who love Riverdale and think that this crap deserves to be on broadway get SUPER pissed off when we who appreciate the OG talk about how shitty this is.

[@cassidymills4115]

PSA: IF YOUR CAST CANNOT SING, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THEM NO AMOUNT OF AUTOTUNE WILL HELP THANK YOU

[@nerdgeekcosplay909]

I need eye and ear bleach

[@poppyarnold3128]

It’s the autotune that makes it bad!

[@pheonixrises11]

well, if they could afford hiring voice actors to sing over them it might work, but it’s a tv show not a movie, so probably nooooooot in the budget

[@bratzbabe187]

The sad thing is they can actually sing but they autotune them for no reason.

[@kaylamram]

They can sing but they auto tuned it idk why

[@ninavillar565]

I love watching theatre kids complaining about this episode so so much

[@sinistermrz]

after 3 years I'm still screaming, punching walls, shitting tears other this

[@aliceemburey8857]

I actually cannot believe this episode isn’t a joke lmao

[@Danidiva21]

Alice Emburey it’s not a joke episode?

[@sophie5922]

why can no one be single for more than like 2 days on riverdale lol

[@kylorensgf8414]

Right

[@dykedude1355]

This

[@sink_water208]

Evelyn showed up and I was like "Huh she's crazy but at least she's single!" Then I watched like the last five episodes of season three 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@tyrq1801]

Xx Hope xX same

[@kkayleighwhite]

Reggie can...

[@Audreya_]

I died at “SAVE ME” I love this 😂

[@anuncreativeusername8200]

Someone needs the fire the choreographer and give the sound effects person a raise

[@ScreamsBaba]

THEY WILL *NOT* TOUCH HAMILTON,DEAR EVER HANSEN,MEANGIRLS,BE MORE CHILL, WICKED, SIX, BEETLE JUICE,

[@Danidiva21]

Aqua Peachette if they touch Hamilton DEA or BMC I’ll riot

[@taeunaosei9107]

At least there's no way to fit Bettlejuice in the plot (I hope)

[@Danidiva21]

Taeunaosei I hope they don’t try and do Beetlejuice

[@taeunaosei9107]

@@Danidiva21 Half of me wants to know what they would make with it (like, really, who would sing Creepy Old Guy? And The whole being dead thing?) And the other half just don't

[@vanessa_gooz5731]

Musical Nerds, ASEMBLE!⚔🛡

[@hak_can_slurp_me_uplikenoodles]

Lmao, you can hear the resistance in Cole’s voice by a mile away 😂😂

[@mishapenmoonmoth]

*yeah, still think he payed dylan to act like his brother for this episode cause cole absolutely refused to sing*

[@1.brook1ynrae]

@@mishapenmoonmoth I mean his voice sounded different in five feet apart when he sang so this might be true

[@mishapenmoonmoth]

Vanilla or Chocolate ? *yeah but they could’ve payed DYLAN to sing and cole to act bc they pre-recorded the singing*

[@mishapenmoonmoth]

Brooklyn Mitchell *yeah, even if he really did do the singing in both he was willing in 5 feet apart and very uncomfortable doing so for riverdale*

[@pastelliiss2270]

beebo is our king probably from too much autotune

[@justsleepy-kun9982]

Watching this after watching Heathers feels like a cardinal sin.

[@ella-vq8ok]

Just imagine what they would do to masterpieces like Hamilton, Dear evan Hansen, be more chill, Six, and something more plausible, Mean girls

[@redred7702]

The only kinda slightly positive things that came out of this episodes was Cole finally ending his “ I spent my Disney career not singing not gonna sing ever again “ thing.

Which is funny because he did sing briefly in the suite life. Also, he is singing way too low.

[@allysonkathryn5014]

Red Red ya I was very surprised he sang in this cuz he spent the last year saying that

[@AyoRoblox]

@@allysonkathryn5014 some people say it's not Cole's voice?? idk

[@HiDE-rj5pt]

Sizzlely it is though, you can tell it’s his voice

[@velvetluna5503]

@@AyoRoblox it is, except the belting part, they switched it to the orignal singer, Ryan McCartan's voice

[@iicaru2]

imagine being a teacher and suddenly in the middle of class your students start singing and making weird movements in their desks. yeah i'd think this was a satanic ritual tbh

[@aileenzhao7951]

Sounds like a normal day on riverdale

[@galexicatva3571]

I’d join in tbh

[@nothingtoseehere7554]

Your commentary is spot-on this is so ridiculous and I’ve never watched an episode of riverdale i can’t stop laughing

[@nezuko8623]

my poor ears..... *are now deaf due to this :'-)*

[@clarebrennan3417]

why didnt they just say loser instead of DOORKNOB

[@existentialcrisis5710]

Oh my god it annoys me so much just use loser thrice as if they haven’t had creepy bdsm sex scenes

[@hqzukii2481]

Ella Sarah It’s not because they just censored the song to fit the show. Which I don’t understand they had to censor it this much because they show make out scenes. Soo..

[@faithmilitello9445]

And why didn’t they say snack instead of ICE CREAM which doesn’t rhyme🙄

[@kylied5657]

Clare Brennan they said both or at least they did on the Apple Music version

[@jordandoerfler2082]

Clare Brennan I think it’s because it was the second time and in the original song it says p•ssy so that’s why they say door knob instead

[@theuchiha7]

*Seeing theatre kids rage over this makes my day*

[@Anastasiaaugh]

its so terrible tho, you gotta admit it

[@Cheetahgirl_Studios]

@@Anastasiaaugh I think they just destroyed at least 50% of my hearing. Thank you, Riverdale.

[@lacerda6804]

I'm not even a theatre kid but this just really sparked my suicidal tendencies

[@burushifudara]

I'm not a theater kid yet And just knowing about the existence of these covers makes me feel disappointed with life

[@Lilylowkeylily]

@@lacerda6804 I’m a theater kids with the same tendiences and I confirm

[@Raypolitudes]

1:00 the "you're gonna die at three pm" is so funny like did they even try 💀

[@livm9306]

How has Archie hooked up with basically all the girls yet it seems like he’s been with Veronica for the past 100 years?

[@cranberryjuice2661]

riverdale: let your mommy fix you -a snack- ice cream also riverdale: you can join the team, or you can *bITCH* and *moAn.*

[@sikisiki7458]

They had to make it ice cream so that it could go with football team. The original line was, let your mommy fix you a snack, or you could come with me to smoke, pound some rum and coke, with the quarterbacks

[@slug05]

Jesus Arredondo they could've just go "dirty dancing with the quarterback"

[@sikisiki7458]

chippy well you know how “kid friendly” Riverdale is so they decided to get rid of “if you lack the *balls* you can go play dolls, let your mommy fix you a snack.”

[@slug05]

@@sikisiki7458 lmao ikr

[@josbutonline]

Kj’s american accent is so high it’s hilarious

[@jascheyennex]

I prefer his actual accent

[@linguyen8340]

I Like his accent..

[@MsGing04]

Oi I know, I like his Kiwi accent better 😂😂

[@ameliajames1463]

I am shook to discover that he is not American but thinking about it I shouldn't be

[@kt27066]

I love his real accent, it’s so... so!

[@lathika9976]

Every single time it’s a musical episode it’s always Kevin who’s like “but it’s PERFECT” and starts the singing

[@Nao.rio74]

Cole fr looked like he didn’t wanna be there. His voice says everything 💀

[@buckleupaldc6765]

i genuinely laughed when she was like “i tHoUgHt i wAs cApTaIn” why tf does that change exist it sounds so stupid

[@cruella4341]

ikr like what was wrong with "well who made her captain"

[@ShamaD274]

I wonder if they change lyrics to avoid copyright shit or something? That's the only reasonable excuse I can find to forgive this abomination

[@arkivetan]

@@ShamaD274 they are a tv show they will prob get permission esp when they do bunch of other musicals too

[@ShamaD274]

@@arkivetan I figured but why else would they kidzbop-ify the lyrics like some bootleg black market version?

[@absolutelynot524]

from what I remember (it was a few years ago when I watched this episode) I think she was singing as veronica in riverdale and not heather mcnamara in their highschool musical and I think it was daddy issues or something and not being in control of her life (thus, the minor lyric change). I mean, compared to the other ones like doorknob and ice cream, let's let this one slide 😂

[@DavM310]

You can literally hear the individual layers of auto tune

[@kittycatshortgirl6515]

Shut up!! The show is beautiful and they do a great job!!😡

[@weirdmusickid6953]

@@kittycatshortgirl6515 I am not trying to be mean but watch or listen to real Heathers songs and compare.

[@jmcg8660]

THANK YOUUUUU I new it would be bad and this was perfect so now I don't have to watch it!!!! I'm so sorry you had to go through this 😭😭😭

[@fd3]

That desk choreography at 0:34 is some of the most terrible choreo I’ve ever seen in my life 🤣🤣🤣

[@margarethmichelina5146]

Hey, remember when this show about murder mystery?

[@Danidiva21]

margareth michelina Yes I do

[@heartsu317]

No not really

[@martina8708]

The real question is: Why isn't veronica veronica Edit: holy fuck guys thank you for so many likes tysm

[@Hell0kitty]

Ikr that's what I thought

[@lucy1UCY]

is there a veronica in this lmaooo

[@lukaarda]

Lucy Gorey The one who is Heather McNamara is Veronica. The yelloe one aosksoks

[@Saralee932]

Veronica Bowmark that’s sad but same

[@gabriellekelsch2672]

Lucy Gorey Yeah Josie was, but I was also confused why it wasn’t Veronica 😂

[@danieldias8605]

Literally the best 42 minutes of television yall are just dead inside

[@agnes7404]

"Yeah you can copy my homework but don't make it look obvious"

[@mikulover9452]

J.D. WE NEED YOU TO BLOW UP A SCHOOL

[@caratlove4107]

JD, here’s a shitton of C4 Go wild

[@ishanafondekar6334]

and give those people some bleach to drink

[@mikulover9452]

Deadpool I will, don’t worry

[@a_gal.in.your.basement]

*tosses all the guns I have*

[@tostadaprincess8736]

P l e a s e

[@queenelizabeth8208]

remember when riverdale was actually about a murder mystery, wasn’t painful to watch and not about a fricking gargoyle edit: omg tysm for the likes♥️💯

[@xxgachawolfxx741]

Its riverdale so GET over it

[@stellahernandez4215]

Ahhh the good ole days... 🙃

[@softvie8856]

I disagree. The gargoyle was also a mystery

[@xxgachawolfxx741]

@@softvie8856 you do got a point and the black hood was also a mystery they were trying to find out who it was so that is a mystery

[@xxgachawolfxx741]

If you ain't a real riverdale fan then stop watching it

[@kikuoisthebestandnoonecant1915]

I just wanna thank you for sacrificing your eyes and ears for this

[@olir3601]

OMG NO HE DID NOT DESERVE JD’s PART

[@evelina3207]

Archie is tOne deaF Everyone Cheryl can’t sing but she kinda can Toni is as auto tuned as you can get Jughead sings really wEird Veronica is ‘normal’ Betty and Kevin are the only people who can actually sing

[@thecolorfulmilkshake8926]

When he was singing 'seventeen', he could really let loose on the high notes, and he's actually really good. But I completely agree, the weird singing-talking bits and doing it way too low for his range was bad.

[@poppyarnold3128]

The autotune messes it up

[@autumnc3438]

Sapphiire Toni can sing tho

[@loona_eclipse1238]

Kevin can sing cause his brother is on Broadway so they sing a lot together and had lessons togethee

[@mars-nf9cj]

hamilquartz I’m pretty sure they edited in Ryan McCartan’s (the original JD off-broadway) voice because it sounds exactly like him and so different from Cole’s voice in the beginning. I’ve listened to seventeen easily a hundred times and I cannot tell the difference between Ryan’s voice in the chorus and ‘Cole’s’

[@arlyntobady]

3:34 this sounds like a middle school choir concert

[@starrycactusx5978]

Middle school choir concerts are better than this.

[@fnafgirl8874]

@@starrycactusx5978 agreed

[@davidpearson8633]

@@starrycactusx5978 I agree

[@elizahamilton9590]

@@starrycactusx5978 as a middle schooler in chorus i can confirm

[@sharknom8867]

My middle school play was better because they actually like and are passionate about it

[@lern2reed]

We all need to file a class action lawsuit for the psychic damage we sustained from watching this.

[@emmieerosee5491]

Toni is the definition of a musical singer-

[@hecatevs]

“Kurt and Ram didn’t die to be disrespected like this” fr

[@kevajuice987]

When Riverdale writers are out of ideas Nobody: Riverdale Writers: BRING OUT THE RANDOM WORD GENERATOR!!!

[@wafflekakesart6664]

Random word generator: door knob

[@icantfindmyglasses5362]

Basically how every episode is written tho 😂

[@kabiriyer5087]

Kevin's voice is the only highlight of this entire episode