I Went NO CONTACT With My Boyfriend, Are We Still DATING? |

[@RedditOnWiki]

*NOTE* In Story 1 we definitely missed/didn't clue into OP's point #2. THIS IS SA 1000%! She needs to leave his A$$ and maybe press charges! Apologies for not catching it in the episode but listening back we realized we missed this!

[@EsarosaUK]

So glad you addressed this. Was listening with my partner going, hang on are we the only ones seeing point 2 as SA?

[@RedditOnWiki]

Yea we definitely messed up! 🤦‍♂️ but its great to see our community calling his SA out!

[@beepboop8374]

I came here to say this. Her saying “Stop” and him “slowing down” instead of stopping is 1000% SA, as well as forcing his own s*xual desires and gratification onto her and not listening to hers, trying to manipulate her into believing she doesn’t know what she really likes when she is very plainly telling him what she likes, trying to coerce her into doing things she is uncomfortable with by pouting whenever she is saying she doesn’t want to do things he wants, etc. Thank you for correcting that! His behavior is intentional and dangerous. Being in a relationship and loving someone does NOT give them agency over your body or your comfort, and if you say stop and they do not stop it is ALWAYS wrong. I hope OP feels safe to talk to her therapist about this specifically and has a good therapist that can help her with this.

[@Lilacil]

Love you guys, but not a great thing to let slip through the cracks, it's like a trigger jump scare lmao.

[@JulieCreatesArt]

Yes I was going to mention this!

[@Somerandoteehee]

S1: I found it kinda concerning that op had to tell him stop more than once. If anyone tells you to stop it doesn’t mean slow down, it means stop. I don’t always go to breakup but op should breakup with him because I wouldn’t feel comfortable if I survived sa and my current partner wouldn’t stop when I told them.

[@Alexacz2]

Exactly! And it hurt op too! Absolutely not okay!

[@toriemiesko626]

Felt like he was 1,000% trying to manipulate and gaslight her, and as a survivor, sounds like abuse to me.

[@Alexacz2]

@@toriemiesko626 Oh, absolutely! He wanted to make her think that the problem is with her while he was the problem 100%!

[@Sienisota]

Yeah and she even says it hurts and he still wants to do it instead of stopping immediately? Normal people don't like having sex when the other party doesn't like it, let alone want to do it when it causes partner (non-consensual) pain! She is again with an abusive partner, but doesn't realise it💔

[@helo8781]

1st story: shes in a toxic and abusive relationship. He's gaslighting her, SA her, abusing her mentally, emotionally and physically. She needs to leave ASAP.

[@breezytaylor5227]

S2: THERE IS NO TECHNICALITY!!!! ignoring her for 5 months and then making cheating claims ??? She owes him absolutely nothing

[@sachikochan8694]

Agreed. If you were dating someone and one day he just ran away for months and then showed back up to find you dating a new person, there's no way he should be allowed to accuse you of cheating. There's an implication that there was a break up after such a long period of time even if it was not explicitly said. It's like when a couple lives together for a certain period of time, they're considered married in areas with common law marriage even though there was no official marriage certificate.

[@saraht3196]

just fyi, your vids have been heavily pushed to me in the algorithm for the past 2 ish weeks. i avoided watching until a few days ago bc i was afraid this was just another redpill/toxically masculine circle jerk podcast, but i gave in to the algorithm gods and was incredibly pleasantly surprised. i've been binge-watching for the past few days, and i really love y'all's takes and perspectives. also the learning curve on understanding the midscore-groundscore-skyscore lore was entertaining too. keep it up, fellas

[@beepboop8374]

Hey I thought I was the only one who called the red pill podcasts circle jerks 🤣

[@olliewithab1926]

@@beepboop8374 its just the right description y'know?

[@beepboop8374]

@@olliewithab1926 especially when all of those dudes clearly hate women.. and only like talking about themselves and each other 🤣 I’m convinced that’s how tater tot’s bald head got so shiny. It was a product of all the circle jerks. 🤣

[@marissacolvin5969]

Agree! I used to skip their reels on Instagram because I thought they were just a bunch of douche canoes with microphones. Glad I finally gave them a chance.

[@Wiggyyyyyy78]

Please make the “*gasp* jail, jail!”from John a botton 😂😂😂

[@homesteadhermits8467]

First story I was wanting to yell, he is sexually selfish. It's not misalignment it's a him issue. He wants her to explore more, but she says what she likes and he doesn't do it, defaulting to what turns him on to do in foreplay. He doesn't consider how sensitive she is so he mashes the vibrator in because that turns him on. She asks him to stop because it hurts and he keeps going! He pounds away during sex knowing from past sex it can hurt, this is a routine issue, meaning she has told him, he has disregarded and he puts what turns him on highest. And when he doesn't get his way he puts the blame on her, be more adventurous (e.g. like the things I want, and stop asking for the things you want that I don't want to do), or pouts so he makes it about his feelings and her the bad guy. I think this would be part of a bigger issue, there is no way he just manipulates in the bedroom with emotion, there is no way he consistently puts his needs first and disregards hers only in the bedroom. Couples counselling can help but really chances are with manipulative selfish traits they snap back like a rubber band under stress, I hope that OP leaves.

[@homesteadhermits8467]

Also I don't want to say it in the primary comment. If he keeps going when she says stop, and she has to reiterate it multiple times... It's a crime

[@Alexacz2]

YES! Thank you! I was mortified by that story! She also said that she had abusive partners before. I guess she never had one that wasn't so she don't see that his current one is not that better either

[@matchahorchata5404]

💯

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

Ikr I feel like their brains were in mushy mode that day or they were too focused on one thing instead of the main point of the boyfriend not stopping when she says stop 😭

[@hayleysackos9758]

STORY 2 HAPPENED TO ME lmaooooooo. i had picked up my stuff and was moving out of state and changed the disney plus/hulu logins and THEN he lost his shit and went on about how i abandoned him and didnt have the decency to tell him....bro WHAT?🤣

[@Ellifire]

Like ghosting is a pretty well understood thing but selfish people won’t accept when they’re doing it to someone because they want to keep you on the hook just in case.

[@hayleysackos9758]

@@Ellifire exactly!!!

[@mangajag]

S1: as someone who has done Corn videos, that's very different from the type of things I would normally do in bed. Corn demands very awkward angels to "look good" when it's filmed. I know some corn creators have a hard time switching from corn to just intimate. And I can imagine if all one consumes is corn, the bed time will reflect what they believe to be hot, cuz the ppl in the videos are "having a good time totally not getting paid to make it look good"

[@beepboop8374]

Replace Shia with “I DUNNO HOW TO READ!” Or “Get Therapy!” you already have the audio and both of those represent ROW perfectly 😂 keep the rest of the intro the same because it’s all perfect. Maybe throw in “you need to take a long look in the mirror, bud!” for good measure.

[@Jordan-bm8lp]

Thank you for reminding me that my sweet Bear is a chapter in my life, but to her, I’m her whole life. I needed to be reminded to treasure every moment I have with her. Thank you 💖

[@lauraanderson8785]

S2: I understand how OP feels, although she didn't cheat it still sucks to have anyone accuse you of it and it's even worse when they go spreading that rumour around. When I broke up with my ex, we agreed to remain friends and both started seeing new people after a couple of months. We didn't see each other in person until 3 months after the breakup when we decided to platonically hang out. He came to visit me and he told me all about the girls he was seeing and I was happy for him, I was glad to see him moving on. Then I mentioned that I'd been on a few dates with one guy too, and he exploded at me, started punching me in the head, screamed that I was a cheater, and then told everyone we knew that I had cheated on him. But he didn't tell the whole story, he leaves out the part that he was seeing other people too and tried to make it seem like we weren't actually really broken up, even though we 100% were (moved out of our shared apartment, went weeks without talking occasionally, it was even an amicable break up and we both calmly had agreed to it) 😒 He says that him dating other people too is "irrelevant to the situation" so he shouldn't have to mention it. So I understand how shitty OP feels, it's horrible to have other people treat you as a cheater when in reality that accusation was born out of unfounded jealousy and not any actual wrongdoing. It made perfect sense of OP to assume that the relationship was over when they hadn't spoken in 5 months and he was the one to initiate the ghosting. I don't understand people who think that they have the right to break up with someone, ghost them, date other people, etc and expect their ex-partner to remain loyal to them for god knows how many months without communication.

[@fuzzylittlespider]

I can’t believe they didn’t catch the GRAPE! In the first story, I know they addressed it in the comments but geez!

[@punkdaisy4681]

I actually also had a boyfriend who didn't speak to me for almost 3 months basically his phone was broken so he just chose not to talk to me even though he had a house phone he could call me on or barrow a friends phone to at least speak to me once during that time I basically decided then and there that when he spoke to me again I would end it and I did that very day he messaged me again I definitely think OP was fair in her assumption that they weren't together anymore and I don't blame her at all if someone dosnt speak to you for 3 months when they can actually reach out to you the relationship is over

[@christinar.7955]

You guys should reach out to Morgan from Two Hot Takes! Her fiancé is a music producer and made their theme song (iirc). No idea if he's open for hire, but worth a shot I think!

[@lina9535]

I like that I didn't react to the title for Story 3, because as a WoW player, I know what "Classic WoW" is.

[@laurynlizzle]

I also wept during that scene on Futurama. I watched it through again somewhat recently thinking that maybe being older it wouldn't affect me as much and I actually cried even harder 😭

[@pearlycomplaints]

Can’t wait for the “Take a long look in the mirror” to be added to the song! You should add John’s “I don’t know how to read” sound too!

[@rein_cos]

Hi! Today is my birthday and I really enjoy your podcast! I shared it with my brother who's now also a dedicated fan! I've been listening for a long time but this is my first time actually interacting with you! Thank you for all the times you've told me bedtime stories and kept me entertained during boring days!!

[@olly1793]

Happy birthday!! 🎉

[@amym4396]

Happy Birthday!! 🎁🎉🎊🎈🎂

[@alannahspagnol2340]

Happy birthday!!! 🎉

[@Demigoddess_of_Myself]

Yesterday was my birthday, too!

[@rein_cos]

@@Demigoddess_of_Myself omg birthday twins!!

[@mrscoolification]

Excuse me!! Who told John he could look that good in a mustache??!

[@tmoneybaby444]

I need Who the f*ck is Sean merch now 😅

[@chellybean22]

The cries and protests for money 🤣🤣 so real

[@ashleyk1525]

When I got my dog peaches, the pound told me she was between 3/4. Her first vet visit they told me she was at least 5, maybe even 6. I cried all night because it’s a few years less than I imagined with her.

[@alea2978]

I hope she has a long and happy life❤️

[@MishAdams]

Only became a Wikimaniac a week ago and i love the vibes! Love from South Africa ! 🇿🇦❤️

[@Camila47st]

I want who is Sean shirt now 😂 I found you guys on TikTok now going trough all the episodes and I promise when I am done i will join patreon 😅 so go on vacation guys so I can catch up 😅

[@NekolatheDruid]

I almost cried that one of my reposts got used😂😭

[@CarlyCarlarly]

Lol you guys were thinking of Lemonheads 😂 Not Melonheads. Close enough though

[@ccjones7729]

Omg poor John 😂😂😂 sending prayers for your househusband application to go through soon 🙏🏽

[@arduousPopsicle]

Changing the theme song slightly works for me! I like it

[@zoubidoubidoubadoum]

This intro already gets a like from me 😂

[@archivedoa]

u guys should keep the og intro for episodes that you guys are really excited to put out or fav episodes. or even if u have episodes with ur fav subreddit

[@angelicakoutsouridakis5816]

16:04 my dads cat is 22 years old.

[@sarabeth121]

Love the idea of same song, different clips, w/o Shia. Could have different clips for Mon vs Friday.

[@sssaa8986]

😭😭 my heart dropped when I heard the third story Omgg 😑😑😑

[@sgg3893]

Oh my god. 16:00 is the best. “Stfu John”.

[@amym4396]

I am an avid listener, and I truly do not have an opinion on the theme song 😂 Love you guys!

[@autumn557]

It’s crazy anyone will assume more than 3 days of ghosting someone doesn’t mean automatic end of dating. Let alone 5 freaking months

[@Sienisota]

1. she even says it hurts and when she says stop he slows down and still wants to do it instead of stopping immediately? Normal people don't do that! Stop means STOP not "slow down". STOP. That is abuse

[@lauramini6650]

Wwwoooowww, MB, we're fighting for our lives out here lol leave us alone

[@cherryanne4943]

Second story: umm that’s has a name. Ghosted. Girl u we’re ghosted and I would choose violence with my new man, ur stronger than me.

[@cherryanne4943]

Violence I mean like toilet paper his house, troll him. Somethin petty that atleast makes u happy and gives u Closure.

[@JeshikaDanna]

Hey now! I take offense to the "utah has nothing" comment lmao i was born and raised in Utah they do have beautiful national parks, they are part of the rocky mountain range and have prime camping and hunting, we have some fun ass water parks and fun parks as i call them and we have the famous skinwalker ranch which i lived near well like two hours away but still too close for comfort lol! But where i live now, which is in bumfuck nowhere north dakota, is plain and not much fun haha. We have to drive either two hours away for a big city or for more fun we have to drive four hours away to the bigger city but if we drive like like 45 minutes away we can be in either canada or montana so no big deal either 😅 i love yall and the wikimaniac fam much love and good thoughts to everyone here! P.s john is my favorite i love a short king and queen(shoutout to juliette yes i spelled her name wrong on purpose please dont hate me or come for me queen!) Im short myself, a whole 4'9 and im legally a short person in my state and have to legally be in a car seat or booster seat its hilarious😅! You bet i still order from the kids menu and color it with the crayons and order a beer or some fruity drink lmao love this pod so much!!

[@sgg3893]

I’d really recommend one theme song. I think two will separate the show too much.

[@cb5902]

What was the Seen cut?!!

[@Candyraven09]

Respectfully, Josh has, and I say this with respect, the whitest laugh I have ever heard.

[@Luciia-T]

Can someone update me who is shia?

[@melissylum4106]

I'm so confused. I've been listening for about a year and a half, but I have no idea who the hell Shia is. What? Lol.

[@faceofvision]

Shia Labeouf, he's an actor and also the guy saying "just do it" in the intro of this podcast

[@death2boredom338]

3 months guy miiiiiight have thought she was busy at school. He's an a-hole regardless though.

[@IAmContemporary]

For story 2: Yes, it’s weird that he didn’t contact OP and he’s a massive AH for that. But arguably, she ghosted him first. She could’ve given him a week and been like “okay, I gave you a chance to initiate, you didn’t, so I’m done”. He’s definitely an AH and I don’t blame OP for moving on after five months, but she did ghost and failed to properly end it. Both just seem immature

[@beepboop8374]

Idk it sounds like she was trying to get him to talk to her, spend time with her, anything and he was already pretty checked out. She should have had to beg for him to have any form of contact with her to begin with. And clearly that was the case when, after she stopped putting in the effort to speak to him, they didn’t speak at all for 3 solid months. I get that her saying “we’re done” could have made things a lot clearer but if I had been her I would have assumed he was no longer interested in a relationship as well, considering how she had already been asking for him to show interest for so long and he wasn’t and then when she stopped reaching out he didn’t either. It seems like he wouldn’t even have said anything to her when he did if it weren’t for finding out she was in a new relationship.

[@bridgetcooney5085]

Seems like he ghosted first. He wouldn't contact her, and she got tired of chasing after him.

[@claravignaud8119]

I don't think you can call "stopping initiating all conversations" ghosting. It gets tiring being the one trying all the time when the other obviously doesn't give a damn about you. She didn't ghost him, she just stopped trying.

[@IAmContemporary]

@@beepboop8374 Oh yeah I totally agree! I probably would’ve drawn the same conclusion and proceeded the same way. It just seems immature to me that the “I’m gonna test him to see if he initiates” approach wasn’t followed by communicating the outcome of the test. I’m assuming her thought process was “if he doesn’t contact me, the consequence will be that I break up with him”. Then she tested him and just never informed him of the consequences. The dude is an AH either way, no doubt. But in the end it does boil down to her having a problem with their relationship dynamics, deciding that she’s going to test him by ghosting him and then single-handedly drawing the conclusion that it must be over. If you can’t have conversations about stuff like that and you can’t properly end a relationship, you might not be ready to be in one in the first place.

[@IAmContemporary]

@@claravignaud8119 I agree, but then just communicate that? Give it a week and then say “you know what, it’s always up to me, I’m done”. Easy as that. How long was she planning to ‘test’ him for? Three months? Usually you communicate the results at the end of a test, if for nothing else but to give yourself closure.