I Yelled Ay My Pregnant Wife After She Kept Putting Me Down For Being A Dad r/Relationships

[@jakeking3859]

It annoys me when people say "I should have known that x person was hurting", especially in a story like this, where she was avoiding saying what was wrong the whole time. How are you supposed to help in that circumstance? Not to mention that he was communicating his own feelings on the whole matter the entire time, and she still pushed him away. He did everything right, he shouldn't be beating himself up over this.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Exactly as it also move the responsibility of the person to communicate their needs especially asked over and over again. Then to see actions in juxtaposed to what you experience, you see it’s something only occurring to you. So it’s not an overall behavior change.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Communication is important in any relationship whether it's business or personal. If a person doesn't want to talk to you then it's difficult to find out what's the issue. So wife was insecure and she has a "friend" who keeps pushing those insecure buttons. Going out on a limb here but OP did say this "friend" had some issues lately of their own. Perhaps it's a misery loves company situation.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

This is 100% her fault and NONE of it is his. She is a mental mess because she listened to a horrible friend and read the worst stuff she could find on the internet and took it as Gospel. The OP needs to document everything for custody in the near future as she starts everything all over again after the baby is born. The OP needs to ban that horrible friend and the wife from reading garbage on the internet. She had too much time to herself as a SAHM.

[@Zminator1986]

Exactly, like what can he do? Tie up on a chair and go CIA on her until she confessed? He was trying to be caring and understanding, but she kept pushing him away. The only other way he can get the information out of her is to be an a-hole, ignore her feelings, repeatedly ask "what's wrong", and stomp on her boundaries until there's nothing left.

[@kaykay8855]

@@Zminator1986 that’s what I’m saying. Op can only do so much to get her to open up before the update.

[@sunflowerglo5492]

Why would she date a single father if she was already insecure about this? Created her own problems.

[@spykewyn8395]

Creating imaginary disasters in her head, taking it out on her husband, not letting him fix them, taking it out on her husband...

[@kg5626]

I live with someone like this. Making up imaginary issues then being mad. It sucks.

[@revayjones7554]

What happens when idiotic people listen to their idiotic friends

[@clockwork3494]

Yeah, it sucks to see how far she spiraled just because of that nasty "friend" planting seeds. That said I don't think the husband needed to apologize here, he tried so hard to communicate, to be there for her and do things for her and the upcoming baby but she stonewalled him at every turn until he got tired and knocked down the walls with a very brutal yet much needed wrecking ball of emotions. He did say some wrong things which he apologized for, but he tried being there for her and she kept being nasty. I feel bad for her, this isn't fully her fault but at the same time, for the love of god _talk with your partner!_

[@spykewyn8395]

@@clockwork3494 I know! It's so frustrating! He was reaching out repeatedly, he left that door wide open, and she was basically going around with her fingers in her ears and her nose in the air.

[@2Ten1Ryu]

I am five minutes into the first story and the wife sounds like she has a weird martyr complex. Completely passive-aggressive but masking as selfless care. this can't be good.

[@league-of-shadows]

She is SO exhausting. IDK how things didn’t come to a head so much sooner.

[@kimsvisualdiary]

This was my grandmother to a T

[@One.DeSanctis.]

She is a weak minded martyr, too. One friend introduces a notion of what soul mates having offspring looks like and the wife runs with it. She absolutely needs individual and OP and she need couple's therapy.

[@JK-sh8rc]

What an exhausting story! OP's wife has some serious issues, one of which is a complete lack of communication skills.

[@Pikaman20008]

@@invisible123-l9dAre you serious or is this just rage bait?

[@yamairad1]

I hope she dumps the friend. The friend is obviously envious and wants to ruin her life.

[@judohunter1]

And she needs to grow up

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Oh 💯 that woman is nasty. If someone said that crap to a friend in front of me they'd be gone, unless friend said they were OK but I'd be having some conversations... I've told my friends that I need a break from different people for less than that, and they've understood and connected with me outside of toxic persons company. I hope she has the same grace from her friends or starts looking for better ones.

[@nondisclosure3920]

She projected hard: she essentially transferred her jealousy to OPs wife so the wife became jealous that she wasn't having his first kid. She sounds like a cruel, bitter person

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

Yeah she is a 100% toxic bitch

[@DivusMagus]

A happy wifes greatest enemy is her single friend.

[@lordlyhawk]

The wife has some self destructive tendencies

[@angelaj3965]

She's an abuser IMO

[@lynnw7155]

She definitely deserved a "What the hell is wrong with you??" How dare her treat him that way! He's trying so hard and she's shutting him out. Update; wow that woman needs therapy. And L doesn't sound like the angel OP made her out to be.

[@angelaj3965]

@lynnw7155 I'm floored that so many defend her. Idk if people just believe that all pregnant women lose their mind but if OP treated his wife this way for say low testosterone, they'd all tell wife to leave him.

[@KG-VanityInKnickers]

They only seemed to become self-destructive when her "friend" constantly s*** all over her ideals of her pregnancy and her marriage, planting the seeds of doubt. Otherwise I think she had a good handle on it and would have been fine. She let the BS that her friend told her, take over her life and her ideals.

[@RudeOptics]

Pregnancy is drastically different for everyone. I was miserable, and it brought out some mental health issues I had no idea where there. It took years to feel like myself again. My sister in law is a nightmare human, but the most amazing pregnant person. It really can flip a switch. Sometimes it's permanent, sometimes it's not.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Wife created a self fulfilling prophecy but in the end open and honest communication saved the day.

[@meganwarren221]

Honestly, I think her dad saved the day. 1st story I ever heard "step up and be a man" be a true and helpful statement. Win for FIL

[@momo382844]

I think the wife needs to be on some sort of medication. Her issues seem be way beyond mere insecurity.

[@jakeand9020]

"Your wife is eight months pregnant and you're in a hotel thinking about divorce, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?"

[@huskytail]

I think this is only the beginning and father and daughter will never be close again.

[@clockwork3494]

@@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64 It's good they were able to communicate but just.. sheesh. She should drop the "friend" pronto and couples therapy is still a must imo. Poor OP didn't need to apologize for anything other than the harsh words when he exploded, he was trying so hard and willing to go above and beyond to help and prove her fears were false but she punched him down until he snapped, and rightfully so.

[@icewolvz6977]

making your partner feel like crap because of assumptions you made in your head as a result jealousy you didn't get over before entering a relationship with them: ✅ simply communicating your fears and concerns and maybe going to therapy together: 🚫

[@dm9078]

She listened to this freinenmy instead of talking to her husband. Good thing for her OP listened to his father-in-law. OP is a good man a lot more forgiving than a lot of men would be.

[@Vipre-]

Listened to the frenemy and then made the mistake of turning to internet forums full of miserable misanthropes which only served to reinforce her insecurity.

[@Pikaman20008]

If the wife is honestly not mature enough to talk to her husband about her insecurities and instead takes them out on him by being passive aggressive, how the hell is she mature enough to raise a child?

[@charondusk5608]

Pre-update: Was the wife a neglected kid? The way she's pushing him to focus on L so that she "doesn't feel like she's being left out/replaced" seems like she went through that exact thing. It does NOT excuse her cutting OP out of the pregnancy completely like that, that was asshole behaviour completely. That's the only thing I can think of to explain why she's behaving this way....well, no, there's two other reasons. First is that it's not his kid and second is that she's extremely insecure. Post-update: .....I'd be finding that friend who made those comments and giving her a verbal thrashing. Yes, the wife is the one who made all this decisions and actions and she was an idiot for icing him out and not talking to him so much sooner, but there's a high chance that if the "friend" hadn't made that first comment, the wife wouldn't have gone into such a downward spiral. Her comment was the match to the powder-keg, so to speak. Makes me wonder what else she was saying to the wife.... Anyway, I'm glad that it was ultimately just major insecurity, nothing more sinister, and that once again communication has helped them to move past and grow stronger for it.

[@SingingMermaid4]

Right? That was a vicious "friend". And people who knowingly do mental harm to pregnant people have a special place in hell.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Yeah that's NOT a friend.

[@VidWatcher01]

People like that "friend" seeing other people happy

[@pippiecarr9378]

Who cares? If a husband treated his wife this way you would be screaming how abusive he is. There would be no questioning of how abusive he childhood was. I just can't comprehend how many people can't grasp how truly awful women can be. How abusive, neglectful, nasty, mean, spiteful, cruel, hurtful, and evil some women are.

[@Mooskym]

The more stories of pregnancy and child raising I hear, the more secure I am in my decision to be child-free.

[@Fluffykunn]

Seriously its like people intentionally lose their minds over a baby and throw all reason just to get their hands on the baby. And I'm 99% certain those crazy baby fever folks could not give a valid reason why they "need" the baby.

[@emanx222]

Fr!!!!!!!!

[@thefiretailedweasel6206]

Saaame❤

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

That “ friend” is literally driving her crazy! Soulmates don't mean someone has never dated or had a life before!

[@Draggonny]

Imagine how much it would suck if there was genuinely one person for every person and you threw yours away because they'd had a child before you knew them. I'm a child free step mum. It has been so hard but my husband is totally worth it. My stepdaughter is a lovely person and has so many of his good qualities. I wish she had fewer because she gets all the heartache that comes with being a selfless and caring person and she is way too hard on herself. I don't regret making our messed up broken family work.

[@suitov]

What the hell is this woman paying her therapist for? Making Pinterest boards together?

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Well to be fair to the therapist the wife isn't telling her any of this is going on so how is she supposed to help? A therapist can only help to the things you admit to or at least tell them.

[@suitov]

Partly true, but it's part of their job to ferret out things you're refusing to admit!

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@suitov Maybe they have tried that. Again, they can only ferret so much out of the information she's willing to give them. For all we know she hasn't mentioned a single thing out about any of this so what exactly is the therapist supposed to figure out from that non information? They are therapists, not mind readers or spies.....

[@suitov]

@@troubleinthevalley5884 Just leads back to my question. What _do_ they discuss, then? What is her client paying for? (I know we can't actually know that, so it's more rhetorical.)

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@@suitov well like most human beings there's usually more than one thing going on in your life and usually many things that have gone on throughout the entirety of your life so possibly her childhood or past traumas or maybe her pregnancy without the part about how she's treating her husband? Literally a myriad of other things LOL

[@totitelevisionshow]

this wife makes me IRRATE. never had someone get on my nerves THIS easily

[@doodleydoo169]

Same

[@crawdaddy2004]

Yea, because hormones have never caused problems for a pregnant person… *** My wife and I are child-free, but I will give pregnant women all the leeway as I can, so long as they aren’t a*usive. Hormones screw with pregnant people more than anything I could imagine.

[@JoanieBean]

​@@crawdaddy2004Hormones are an explanation, not an excuse. She literally almost blew up her family.

[@crawdaddy2004]

@@JoanieBean And I’ve almost destroyed my family (no kids) due to my mental issues - and I can’t get pregnant. It’s interesting that “for sickness and in health, for better or worse” seems to only apply to wives supporting husbands.

[@JoanieBean]

@@crawdaddy2004 mental health is also not an excuse, it's an explanation. Also Ur projecting: never said anything about who supports who.

[@reneenoriega4524]

S1 first post: by this woman's logic, parents only love their first kids and don't care for the others. Should I tell my baby brother that my parents don't care about him? (sarcasm) miss me with that shit for god's sake 🥴 After the update: maaaaaasive overreaction and overcorrection. And projection. I do understand that hormones aren't logical but damn

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

Right? That’s so odd

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

It's also not an excuse in this case.

[@reneenoriega4524]

@@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement fr. She should've talked to him

[@aubreymorgan9763]

Seriously I was baffled at her thing about soul mates and her not being his first pregnancy. Honey almost no one does their first with some one they think of as soulmates. Life isn’t a romance novel.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

@@aubreymorgan9763 Yeah. People need to stop thinking reality is synonymous to a half-assed Lifetime Romcom written by maladjusted retards.

[@koribeanOwO]

Only 2 minutes in and damn that's really messed up of the wife. Like damn is this going to happen to all future children? For example, if OP's wife had a second child, will she do the same to that kid? Edit: At t 7 minute mark, why is she saying all this when SHE decided to get with a single father??? Edit 2: In the updates, so basically she went down the rabbit hole of the internet on those articles.

[@charondusk5608]

Pretty much. Sounds like the so-called friend put the seed of doubt in her mind and then she went down the rabbit hole of shitty articles that just made her even more insecure...

[@koribeanOwO]

@@charondusk5608 Exactly! I don't believe in this whole concept of soulmates because we aren't bound to people forever. People change as they grow and age so it doesn't make sense for me when people are upset that there are single parents and decide to date them but are upset they have children already.

[@nanoglitch6693]

...why not just listen to the whole story *first?* 🤡

[@derekjohnson8910]

@@nanoglitch6693was your comment necessary? They did nothing to antagonize you, why go after them?

[@shadowkissed2370]

More so the toxic friend kept bombarding her with toxicity and then she started to google it all and go down that rabbit hole.

[@invisigoth510]

Wow. Wife needs to dump the friend who got in her ear & backed up her worst fears instead of supporting her Edit: Markee, you read it but did you just ignore the part where the friend told the wife that “soulmates don’t have kids with other people” & the other snide comments the wife said she made before these updates The comments about the friend were not out of left field

[@redessa01]

What is that one frenemy's problem?! Soul mates don't have other baby mamas? I know plenty of divorced people, with kids, who are infinitely happier in their second marriage. If a guy is going out getting other women pregnant while you're together, then no, he's not your "soul mate", but just because someone had a life or even started a family before they met you doesn't mean you aren't right for each other. And all of our choices, good and bad, help shape us into the person we are. OP probably thought he had something really good with his daughter's mom, but now he knows he has something better. He might not have even appreciated what he and his wife have as much as he does if not for that earlier experience. Frenemy just sounds jealous as hell.

[@Masenken]

Just ask her if the baby is even yours. Give her the same energy she's giving you. Edit after the update: insufferable... And that stupid "friend" Needs to disappear

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

That does not help and will only make things far worse.

[@Masenken]

​@@Center-For-I.E.D.MismanagementI don't care. Phuk this woman. He was 100% correct. I'd regret knocking her up too. She's insufferable beyond words

[@AAA-ng3qk]

Story 1nwife has too much time on her hands and seems to be bored to come up with such scenarios 😆

[@VidWatcher01]

We're you not paying attention to the part where her "friend" instigated all this drama? Y'all getting mad at the wrong person.

[@judohunter1]

@@VidWatcher01she is a grown woman. Her friend is trash but she is also a fool

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@VidWatcher01 The "friend" is a nasty person, yes. But yet, the wife didn't want to cut her off. That is on the wife. When everyone is saying how great of a husband and father the OP is but just the one "friend" isn't, then that is a big red flag about that friend. You can only blame so much on the friend and the rest is the wife. She needs a job to get her out with other adults during the day rather than all that spare time wasting it looking at "Doom Scrolling" on the internet and relying on bad friends for advice. I hope the OP documents everything as I think this will all probably restart once the baby is born. He needs good documentation to get custody when she completely loses it, and she will.

[@tafsf415]

Had to stop listening as her anxiety was making me nuts. She need help

[@marcsando]

One of the few times I've heard of something that makes paranoia look like a step forward.

[@bbjjbb61]

Ffs, this woman is completely off her rocker. She had absolutely zero faith or trust in her "soulmate". No matter what OP did or said she was going to constantly wrap herself in misery. Jeez, what an absolutely exhausting person. And, no, it's not OP's fault that his grown adult woman cannot use her big girl words. I'm glad they figured it put but let this be a lesson to all adults who can think and reason- use your effing words.

[@stellamccoy5259]

S1. OMG, that wife sounds ridiculous. It just goes to show one how listening to an idiot and reading stupid articles can impact someone.

[@geekemedia]

Her friends comment about soul mates is projection af. Theres literally no reason to believe your soul mate can't kiss a few frogs before finding you

[@megaspit]

So let's get this straight. She was so worried that all of these negative things might happen that she... Tried to make them happen. What if he doesn't bond with the baby? I'll make it so he can't. We if this isn't special for him? I'll make sure it isn't. Grade A logic here

[@COPPERHEAD-nl8oi]

She sounds extremely possessive about the new baby being hers, because the husband already has his own child. Now she has one for herself, too. ☠️

[@RandoBlackguy]

My wife started doing something similar. It's called Doom scrolling. You look up the worst possible outcome of what will happen and that's what you focus on and absorb. I luckily found out she was doing it and stopped her. But yeah he should have looked through her phone when she threw it. It would have solved a lot of problems earlier Edit: women please for the love of all creation, in God's name PLEASE!!!! Stop taking advice from your single friends!!!!!!

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

She got REAL close to making a significantly worse self fulfilling prophecy. "Oh, I'm worried having this new kid will damage the relationships in our family. So let me just act extremely toxic and alienating towards my partner, bording on abuse 😊. While I hope things here get/stay fixed. But my expectations in the wife are basically 6 feet under. And I hate how the OP keeps feeling that HE should've done better, and she doesn't take full accountability and shut that down. Gross.

[@ilovesports5468]

That wife is nuts!!! Why would she get with a man with kids and decides to act like this? That man needs to get out now

[@Sauceboss1992]

Simple pregnancy and outside influences

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

​@@Sauceboss1992but that sound more like excuses for her behavior

[@sgtjarhead99]

My first thought as well. She’s nuts. OP is more forgiving than me. I’d harbor some long term resentment even after we patched up.

[@LondonTraveler358]

​@@sgtjarhead99 damn

[@Sauceboss1992]

@ianmoritzplatapino3684 no one is perfect and the update showed she took account ability. Not everyone has tack, grace or foresight to see most behaviors until it implodes. People fuck up it's when they don't even try to unfuck themselves in where you should draw the line

[@Gale_Storm_]

Stressing me out listening to this...she was truly her own worst enemy. Sheesh.

[@Vipre-]

The serpent who was whispering in her ear is her worst enemy but she sure was an accessory after the fact against herself.

[@rosemarie1817]

So her logic is something like, "Because they're not going to be your first kid, you're not allowed to be excited, want to be there for me for the pregnancy or take care of me while I carry your child." Am I getting that right? Edit: Thank God she's finally doing better! I'm so glad she was just scared of the hypothetical and non-existent, but that must've been terrifying!

[@paigehansen8944]

With friends like that, who needs enemies

[@mortisrat]

It is entirely possible to wish your children were not the product of a bad relationship WITHOUT wishing they didn't exist at all. She feels bad for wishing he'd not had a child with his ex - but he probably wishes she was the first kids bio mom too

[@chrystiafreelandscankles548]

Yes, parents relax more after the first kid, but there’s no limit on love to go around. She’s an immature over-thinker.

[@sorinsilverheart3200]

Calling it right now: It's not his. That's why she's so hellbent on denying him so often.

[@Burglar-King]

Marriage is a two way street. If everyone split after a single argument then everyone would be divorced after a week. Communication is the key. Ops wife treated him appallingly. OP eventually snapped. Many would.She needed to hear that because she absolutely needed to reflect. It made her realise she could end up a single mother if she didn’t get her act together. They communicated and what do you know…they solved the issue.

[@NaomiTheWildMinecrafter]

"she hopes it'll help someone out there struggling with the same feelings she felt" well i dont think anyone is so jealous of their partner having a life and child before they met them that they'd deny them the right to bond and provide for their baby but.. sure.

[@eldeano9964]

Ah, paranoid/insufferable first-time parent. We've all been there. Also, fuck that friend.

[@rebel1612]

The person is no friend, but rather an enemy of the wife and OP’s marriage

[@backpug1228]

The wife is not f-ing blameless...

[@keishaizawesome2836]

"This isnt his first child, it isnt that special for him." . Wtf

[@league-of-shadows]

That friend needs to get ejected out of the friend group immediately and the wife needs a new therapist.

[@choosynotsushi]

That friend has a lot to say about OP and his wife's relationship. Wtf is that you're no soulmate? The pregnant woman is already vulnerable. Way to go to wreck your friend's confidence. 🙄

[@edo0girl2.03]

What the fuck is wrong with that friend?! Sloppy seconds??? She talked like finding your soul mate is easy and people don't make mistakes when choosing partners. Just because he had a kid with the wrong person doesn't mean she's his "sloppy seconds".

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- step one is to cut out the toxic friend giving her advice. How did she invent scenarios like this in her head?

[@deifieddata4462]

Wife is resentful of op having this life experience before her. She desperately wants op to be the villain to justify her jealous anxiety, and when he's basically the perfect dad she doesn't know what to do with it. She also resents the step daughter and pushes all these things on her so she can pretend op it's favoring her. She's speed running the self destruction of her relationship.

[@SvarogAristaeusAllen]

The friend sucks shit but she's awful for buying into it. Like when the friend said "soulmates don't have other kids" I just went "says who?" if your soulmate is your soulmate it doesn't really matter how you get to them, right? Sometimes it takes longer than others.

[@MidnightAndLuna]

That ‘friend’ who was feeding insecurities to OPs wife needs to be ditched immediately. I agree with the commenters, she is evil. That is NOT a friend. I bet she is either jealous of the good relationship they have or likes to stir up drama.

[@jfcfanfic]

That wife is exhausting

[@topperharley2593]

I hope that first op's wife doesn't ever have a second baby! If she thinks you can't love both children and be invested in both pregnancies, she won't bother loving a second child

[@SingingMermaid4]

Story 1: The wife is really projecting and over compensating. Its like she is too scared to let her SD ever feel second, but she's being unhinged towards her husband. After update: Knock that friend's block off, Jesus. People are really becoming cruel, like its actually scary. ETA: The OP did fail to report to the OB his wife's sudden shift in thinking and emotions. For both of my pregnancies, my partner was an effing nark to my doctor when I was not wanting to be forth coming. It was annoying AF at the time, but holy God was it good in the long run. We were able to get a handle on my PPD with my first, and helped with my anxiety with the second. My doctor had a long record of my mental state to reflect on when I was post pregnancy. It really helps when partners talk to the doctor for the benefit of their spouse and advocate for them. OP needed to be a nark about his wife to the doctors.

[@silent_day]

The 2nd story has such a sweet ending. I have never been pregnant, so I can't imagine the hormones and feelings that come with it. Also, what a kind, loving husband. The effort he puts in loving her is just so touching. I'm glad they were all able to work it out.

[@yamairad1]

As a person, that has been pregnant I can say this is NOT how pregnancy hormones show up. It's more likely they'll cry because the yellow wall isn't yellow enough, they arrived 10 minutes late, the food has too much mushroom. It is super random and weird. When you see a pregnant woman that is very consistent and angry about something very specific get help! There is more to it.

[@VidWatcher01]

Everyone's different with pregnancy & it was that "friend's" fault for instigating

[@BbiBbii]

Been around pregnant family members and not a single one of them acted the same, so this comment truly means nothing. Pregnancy, like many other things, differ in experience from person to person.

[@yamairad1]

@VidWatcher01 People do not become abusive due to pregnancy. If you do, you need therapy and have deeper issues, and are using pregnancy to get away with abuse

[@NinjaNanya]

I did not think that relationship would recover. Super happy for them tho!

[@gladygalvan8069]

So basically Zero communication and 100% escalation 🤦‍♀️

[@ZombieismIsAChoice]

Wow. Wow. I would have a lot more sympathy for the wife if their conversation happened 1 month, maybe even 2 months, to have that conversation. But what an immature, emotionally stunted, tone deaf, easily affected/influenced woman she is. After all of this, I have my doubts that she has the true capacity to be a good partner to a single dad, purely due to her emotional immaturity. She did everything wrong. EVERYTHING. I really, really hope she takes full accountability, and doesn't unrightfully blame her husband for her actions and especially her lack of communication. It's almost impressive how badly she handled all of this, that could've easily been resolved early on with basic communication. My god. Get better help, girl.

[@juanhaines7295]

I love it when couples can successfully talk things out.

[@sorinsilverheart3200]

Until she goes nuts again and blames him for everything. He should have left when he had the chance.

[@latonyajefferson9699]

Jesus Christ Almighty! This lady went off their rocker! What the actual fuck! She has put her husband through absolute hell over nothing

[@sirsii]

Did not see this yet in the comments but this woman is at high risk for PPD. In fact, there is something as peri-natal depression which can occur during pregnancy. And the friend is an a hole who stoked her fears and is probably jealous of OP's wife.

[@johnnyhall9154]

Goddamn, OP was literally stonewalled from his baby. I got progressively more pissed and his out burst was actually cathartic.

[@angelaj3965]

Shit I've had 3 kids, terrible pregnancies. I cried at commercials, sometimes irrational but I'd realize it and apologize. Dude I'm truly horrified by how she treats OP. I think she's just an abuser & ain't got nothing to do with pregnancy.

[@haileysmith3499]

What a horrible friend omg why would she say that to a pregnant woman???

[@veezopolis]

After the update: the wife can still go to hell. She decided someone else's words mattered more than her husbands actions. She decided to punish the op for her own delusions. She is a monster. Screw blaming hormones she knew what she was doing.

[@veezopolis]

She's blaming a child for her feelings. I doubt El even did anything close to what the wife is saying. She made him feel like her abuse is his fault.

[@veezopolis]

Her 'apology' is now you get to do everything for her! She gets to wake you up whenever she wants to demand food and NOW you get to see her bump and talk to it? How has this man been gaslit so hard

[@veezopolis]

The therapist AND his child have said that none of what the wife said happened, happened. El doesn't have the complaints that the wife made up. The wife is using you op

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: after reading the update, I’m going cut stepmom some slack because her insecurities and articles get the better of her, and her trashy friend. It sounds like she wants to be a good mother to L and the baby but her fears got the better of her.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

This. *ALL of this.*

[@kaykay8855]

@@Center-For-I.E.D.MismanagementI mean the friend sounds like the real bad guy. Her fears and insecurities are valid but her ‘friend’ was the real bad guy.

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

@@kaykay8855 True, but OP's wife still made the decision to actually listen and buy into the "friend's" destructive bullshit and unilaterally do whatever she could to shut OP out.

[@sorinsilverheart3200]

No. No slack. She should have gotten help earlier. She mentally and emotionally abused her husband for who knows how long based off of something her equally trash friend said. Stop simping for terrible people just because they have issues.

[@kaykay8855]

@@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement not excusing her behavior but she had her friend, her insecurities and multiple online forums about bad stepparents and bad dad echoing in her head.

[@shadowkissed2370]

I am 5 minutes in but it sounds like the wife is setting things up to claim that he prioritizes L over the new baby, so she can get attention by acting like a single mom in the marriage. She's trying to make it look like her husband's first child is more important to him. Edit: wife needs to drop that friend asap.

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

Good lord what is wrong with that friend?? I’ve heard some bitterness before but gawdayum-

[@lashawndradejohnette9815]

Seems like that friend needs to go. She is the problem. Block her and keep her out yall life.

[@RealSlendyBoi]

This man is a bigger person than I am, I'm not sure I'd be able to or willing to even ATTEMPT to make that relationship work. *ESPECIALLY* after she fucking threatened to kill herself if I tried tp get custody of MY OWN CHILD!!

[@bluexwings]

S1: I can attest that hormonal imbalances can *really* mess with your head. The anxiety and emotional dysregulation that can pop up are wild. I had PMDD and it would often mess with my perceptions of people. I'd find myself assigning malice to actions/words where there was none. It was hellish. (Menopause is no fun, and the hormonal changes still suck- but at least I don't have to deal with that every month!) Also the wife's "friend" is no friend... She's a manipulative predator. Anyone who had her best interest at heart wouldn't say things that would only harm her and her relationships. I'm glad she's in therapy. I hope she leans into her support system and continues to distance herself from that woman. Edit to add: Maybe they should consider a few sessions of family therapy to help L adjust to having a new sibling? It may help them all communicate better, and lashing out once the baby arrives.

[@backpug1228]

No. L had another problem not with the wife, thats why she acted out. But because wife had to be so childish and unresponsible, she even took away the chance to find that out earlier.

[@crawdaddy2004]

That person isn’t a friend. That makes me incredibly angry.

[@gowongodmom4851]

Fuckinf adorable. I’m glad they are repairing everything. I’m glad to see them connecting again. It’s wonderful.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

I am happy that this had a happy ending, it seems like everyone just let their insecurities get to them and communication saved the day. I hope the wife gave that "friend" a second thought.

[@emilycolbert2852]

Ya missing something. The friend was telling the wife stuff. Whether the op knew at first or not.

[@vikingreflections2824]

God damn, her problem is she has this fairy tale, magical, rainbows and puppies view of love. Her feelings were NOT valid. This really was something that can be fixed with just the most minimum of communication.

[@angeliqueSeidlitz2388]

How much you wanna bet she's just using him to just have kids?!?! Also, she's so in the wrong. OP is not the ah......she needs help seriously, I wouldn't go to marriage counseling

[@brokenvampyre]

From the moment she started the "this isn't your first rodeo" crap I would have instantly accused her of cheating on me and then while she was trying to say no I'd tell her to expect either a divorce OR let me be involved in the pregnancy AND a paternity test. End of. Her "truth" is a load of crap used to cover the affair. (Edited for spelling)

[@dondonfoxylady3049]

Wow earliest I've made the comments,love your videos marker, thanks

[@dianalmccullough24]

Your wife has something really really wrong with her. It's night anything to do with her being pregnant. She wants to control you and manipulate your relationship with your own baby. This is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. I doubt you will ever fix her.

[@angelaj3965]

Thank u! I cannot believe how many people don't see that she's an abuser. Plain & simple.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Jfc that “friend” sounds awful!! It’s reminding me of the OP whose wife’s “bff” convinced her OP was having an affair and drove her into such a depression that she ended herself. I’m really glad the wife finally opened up and they are talking about what’s been going on.

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Dang, wife needs to lose that "friend".

[@brandytzu2747]

17:15 The poisonous remark of the "friend".

[@miz6229]

Omg! Wife sounds like a lunatic. OP isn't that much better for not addressing the issues sooner. What an exhausting relationship.

[@VidWatcher01]

Okay why aren't y'all listening to the up date?!? Y'all getting mad the wife when you should be mad at that b**** of a "friend"🤦🏻‍♀️

[@nondisclosure3920]

Markee, the friend was talked about twice before pretty early in the post. She was the one who said that OP wouldn't be as invested as he's done it before. She's straight up evil

[@sciguy98]

Story one: A lot of comments already address the big things, so I'll just point out that this is another example of why we need to get rid of the concept of "soulmates". It's a silly idea that belongs in fantasy romance novels, not a reflection of real life. I wonder if the would have had the mental breakdown she had if she had an actually mature conception of how relationships work.

[@nightmare_jeanie]

So i realize our situations aren't the same, and i carried both of my husband's children (that we know of), but i suffered with severe PPD and PPA with both (maybe still have issues even years later...yeah, it was bad). And we had ours 18 months apart. I had absolutely horrible morning sickness, especially with my second. I couldn't hardly eat for months and i would get mad at my husband for trying to help me (hold my hair, etc) and would yell at him. But i always apologized. What was worse was, at the time i was part of the women's app Glow. I would constantly read posts/stories from women about shit partners. It was causing me to have nightmares that my husband was doing things. There were several times where id wake up crying (scaring him awake), then demanding an apology for something he had done in my dream (that of course he had no idea about, lol). And while yes, i will admit that id be angry over his dream actions for awhile, i wouldn't take it out on him. Even apologizing for demanding an apology from him with an explanation of what caused the issue, lol. Yeah, it was definitely a crazy and rough time, made worse by my delivering newspapers at the time so working from 1am to 6am 7 days a week. I could never imagine depriving a father of sharing in the joys of pregnancy no matter how many children hes had previously (or number of partners) unless hes abusive or a cheater. Like, even if we weren't partners anymore, id still want to share the special moments with him, like damn. I hope OPs wife gets the help she needs and gets that "friend" away from her. The fact that she was so easily manipulated against her HUSBAND is quite concerning. My husband would have been crushed had I iced him out of my second pregnancy, let alone had it been MY first. Also, that weird comment about the friend saying "he'll be running to me" or what ever, like what? Friend is either super jealous of OPs wife or inlove/lust with OP reaching obsessive, stalker level of crazy. For real, that lady is not a friend. Either way, best of luck to the OP and may it all work out well for them.

[@elpisgalaxy8934]

The friend reminds me of that story were OP's wifes thoughts were poisened by her "best friend" to the point she "unalived" herself

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Sounds like this weirdo is already trying to accuse you of favoring either Elle before that baby is even here. Honestly I would get a paternity test for the baby too. She's being weird. Or maybe she knows she's going to favor her own child over Elle so she's really trying to overcompensate now or in complete denial

[@wheelsndealz]

I thought it was obvious she resented him being a dad/shes not his first baby mama. All i can think is, how is she not gonna let that affect L.

[@wheelsndealz]

Wow. Fuck that "friend". Holy shit. Fucking snake.

[@acewing1]

The OP has such horrible luck with women. First one does a runner and leaves him alone with the baby, and the second is outright HOSTILE to him during the whole pregnancy! The fact that he feels so bad for her and tries so Damned hard to be good for her pisses me off. If they stay married, he needs to make it perfectly clear that if she does this shit EVER again, she is OUT!!🤬🤬🤬

[@HackiePuffs]

Hey wifey do you know how many women would DREAM of having such a supportive partner during their pregnancy but are stuck with absolute deadbeats instead?! You have everything you could ever want and more don’t throw that away lol.

[@julesr6965]

this story is so unbelievably infuriating. i cannot imagine a future where these two are still together

[@kungfushambam]

My ex and I had 5 kids together, he had 1 previous child. He was just as if not more excited then I was for all of the appointments and the belly rubs and the baby kicks he could feel. Just because of a first baby with someone else does not negate the excitement for the next baby.

[@Jesse_E5150]

She let this friend of hers fill her head with bs and refused to communicate with her husband. I cant stand this woman.

[@LilySaintSin]

S1, is this even OP'S baby? Is the wife feeling guilty?

[@elski5067]

Story 1: that comment tho "I see your love each other it will make it". She threw a phone at him that's reasons to leave. She gas lit him told so many lies about his daughter L.

[@morganleanderblake678]

This story is *maddening.* way to have a whole freaking novel in your head and leave your partner out of it.

[@gregorsamsa3247]

Story 1: She's trying to create a scenario to make him a deadbeat. She's distancing herself to leave and the kid probably isn't his.

[@jazzamethyst8225]

Jesus. It's not that you care less about your subsequent kids, it's that you have a rough idea as to what to expect so the anxiety factor isn't as intense. The other aspect is more kids results in more split time and more expenses. I spent most of my life taking care of my younger siblings. My mom would get bored at around the 6 month mark and they'd be "my responsibility" so when I had my son, I wasn't as freaked out or worried beyond the usual concerns of SIDS, and the occasional illness.

[@laurenjones9924]

Wife needs a new friend. Who in their right mind puts that kind of paranoia in a pregnant lady’s head? It’s no wonder she was so terrified.

[@catherinecox573]

Wife doesn't deserve OP. I kinda hate her. I dont care who was whispering in her ear, what her hormones were like--she did the wrong thing at every turn and treated OP like crap. She took a good man for granted and put him thru hell bc she was too much of a coward to speak up. She almost let her DELUSIONS ruin their life. The only reason she didn't manage to trash their lives is entirely bc OP is a SAINT.

[@kausha7135]

I hate OP's wife's friend. I hope she had a very stern talking to this friend and reassesses the friendship to see if it's worth keeping. Eta: OP's FIL came in clutch with that stern, fatherly advice. Shout out to him!

[@willgroody5296]

I think it’s good you and your wife are cutting out that toxic friend as I’d hate it to turn out like that other Reddit story: OP and his wife had a little girl they agreed after his paternity leave to take a hard project as was increase in pay and lead to promotion. His wife had his parents, her mum and a ‘friend’ help as she was suffering from PPD. Unfortunately this ‘friend’ put into his wife’s head OP was cheating and the longer hours were excuse and was because she’d given birth and was depressed, no matter what he did to support and prove she accused him more. He ended up calling the ‘friend’ out and kicked her out, after he got home said hello then went to see his baby as the woman said “that was a sign” One day OP got home his office ransacked and the baby on her own, this ‘friend’ took her out knowing the baby would be on her own. OP called his mum and asked if she could look after baby and he’d try find his wife. She came home not long after and when OP questioned his wife she attacked him breaking his nose then went catatonic. He locked himself in the nursery. Called his mum back up and explained what happened then called her parents saying to keep eye on her and he’s taking the baby with him, and what had happened especially this ‘friend’ using her depression against her and destroying their relationship. Days later his wife killed herself by driving her parents car into a tree. Then her parents had the gall to inform OP ‘friend’ (who most on comments said was responsible for her deterioration and death) was speaking at her funeral and commenter said as he’s next of kin, ban her and tell the parents he is the one with their grandchild and maybe they should remember that and call out the ‘friend’ at the funeral.

[@tinjmail]

this is the perfect example of people creating their own misery - wife indulges in negative thoughts and therefore causes so much problems in the marriage.