If Bernie Sanders played D&D

the funniest joke is that I said the dragon is supposed to be intelligent
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[@SplashV_]

This was definitely a shower thought that became a video.

[@nnickplays9713]

I agree.

[@garygordle5146]

Oh yeah, 100%

[@arkive11]

And then Spencer told Jacob about it so that he could make the video

[@master0fthearts894]

The best shower thought.

[@gibson1005]

"wait... Dragons are capitalist pigs, aren't they?"

[@daultonl.608]

“Be quiet Joe you never believed in me.” Is the greatest line I think I’ve ever seen in this context.

[@benjaminholcomb9478]

C'mon man

[@AltrTheEgo]

This got me so good

[@commandercaptain4664]

@@benjaminholcomb9478 -- Jimmy Valmer, South Park

[@redst0114]

How can you see a spoken line?

[@daultonl.608]

@@redst0114 idk if I’m getting this done to me... but r/woooosh

[@BigDickWizard6969]

Not a single Fireball was cast. That's a whole lot of malarkey.

[@uglyweirdo1389]

It's a deep martial conspiracy.

[@molliethomas2585]

It's not D&D without at least one fireball.

[@ejoty_6128]

hay 96th like yayyy

[@justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456]

smh

[@Mangoscats]

This is an actual account with the name he said he had

[@rustage]

this is much funnier than i expected it to be haha

[@vexboiart]

Holy fuck Rustage watches d&d videos. My opinion of you has officially skyrocketed. Love your music btw

[@jaxsondenton8252]

This is mind blowing to see my two favorite DND dms on the same area. Love the music, love One Piece DND.

[@kkTeaz]

@@vexboiart *UwU* yet or no?

[@vexboiart]

@@kkTeaz i am terrified that i don't understand what you're trying to ask.

[@howmuchbeforechamp]

Yo for real ? Rustage watches DnD . Now i am gonna watch your DnD with tekking

[@renaissancenerd3801]

I love how Biden is just suddenly there

[@ShadowsOfTheSky]

And since nobody reacted to Joe appearing, it implies that Joe Biden regularily plays DND with Jacob. No biggie, just playing DND with the president.

[@lylejohnston2213]

@@ShadowsOfTheSky with Jacobs*

[@LathosZan]

Joe was Vice-DM last campaign, so they're familiar with him

[@isaacalien]

@@ShadowsOfTheSky everybody's gotta have friends outside of work.

[@goontubeassos7076]

It’s amazing how no matter where joe is, he’s really not “all there”.

[@taylorsimon1927]

"King Dragon sends his regards." "ARCHIBALD NOOOOOO!" Edit:damn this my first time getting 1k likes yall amazing:)

[@salmanmahyuddin8384]

oh no...it's KING DRAGON!!!!!!!

[@andromoidus]

You'll never save Prince Horace.

[@jackg1135]

This enemy might not get, the point!

[@taylorsimon1927]

Oh damn I never had this many likes haha. Thanks yall

[@seanellis5410]

"I, King Dragon, will strike you down....Dennis."

[@nobodyeverinhistory]

Me: *"sees" expensive item in shop but I don't have enough gold* Me to the party: I am, once again, asking for your financial support.

[@realdragon]

Rouge: It so happen I have exactly same item in my pozesion. I can sell it to you for a discount

[@solarflare3752]

@@realdragon it is now 999 gold instead of 1000

[@JohnDoe-lf6kp]

I usually just pick it up and cast invisibility on myself

[@bigshortstop1931]

Me to the party cuz im socialist: *draws sword* I am no longer asking.

[@flameofmage1099]

"King Dragon sends his regards." - ProZD

[@benjaythewhite]

*ZAP*

[@flamethereploid1352]

ARCHIBALD NOO!!!!!

[@conflictbrooks]

Yo Yo I'm King Dragon I'm the king of the lair And now that you're in here You aren't goin anywhere Except down on the ground 'Cause I'm gonna kick your ass I'm sorry I said "ass" I don't mean to be crass When I'm not busy killin' like a villain I write raps

[@toxicdemon1315]

​@conflictbrooks "Who cares if those Orphans were sad, it feels good to be bad!"

[@itwasidio1736]

"Did you invite Senator Bernie Sanders to play D&D with us?" Is a sentence I thought that I never thought I'd hear.

[@Ashtari]

And yet it is now one I REALLY want to hear.

[@fyrelorde]

As odd and difficult as it would be, I think it could actually happen

[@waitwhat238]

Okay now actually try it

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

You thought it was Bernie Sanders, but it was I, Dio!

[@lilmcging5305]

the best part is Biden was already there and they didn't seem as thrilled

[@joshkorte9020]

I like the implication that Joe Biden regularly attended his Jacob's dnd game.

[@DoubleE5135]

Not to mention his two clones

[@Big_Moosh]

He brings the werthers and the extra dice XD

[@franciscocanindepinheiro4924]

@@DoubleE5135 lol it's funny because it's true, how plastic surgeries change eye colors? lol

[@blindliberty4478]

I guess Joe wasn't in "his" basement

[@Memnon-ro4cl]

He probably forgot all about being president

[@diegomacias5872]

“I am once again asking you for a dexterity save.”

[@Vesperitis]

"Be quiet, Joe. You never believed in me." That is literally the best line I have heard this month. Also, we never knew what class Bernie was playing. Is he a pally? A warlock? Can't be a fighter or a bard.

[@yes904]

I like to picture him as a Bard/Ranger multi-class

[@KermitEFrog-nv7dv]

Yeah he's 100% a college of eloquence bard

[@neonknightofgeekdom1014]

He has the proleteriat class, it gives him the vanguard subclass and gives him access to the "seize the means of production" spell list

[@Albtraum_TDDC]

@@neonknightofgeekdom1014 class warfare is OP

[@limbersauce8360]

Definitely someone that relies on short rests

[@HobbesHobbiton]

"Where can I go to heal my hit points?" "..You could go to a priest... But there would be a health tax.." *_le gasp_*

[@patheronaetherson2860]

Why implement a tax for something when people were already paying for it? Unless the priests were specifically employed by the government of the land

[@stevenkurinec4194]

Bernie would be fine with that.

[@powerist209]

@@patheronaetherson2860 You know I know this is a satire on "political commentary badly fitted in media" (*cough* Marvel Civil War comic and portraying what is law enforcement accountability as slavery), but I think you nailed the main analogy mishaps in it (even if intentional). I mean libertarians can interpret it as "unnecessary extration of wealth towards bloated governmental machine" since it was tax by the government rather than premium by the insurance company even if they would debate with Bernie.

[@llamafromspace]

Oh god you went political but very funny.

[@KaitouKaiju]

@@powerist209 Civil War wasn't about law enforcement, it was about making all metahumans register whether they were heroes or not. It's more similar to the gun control debate today

[@dandyo.8233]

"But you don't know that, Bernie." "I do know it, I wrote the damn lore."

[@overlorddystroy4044]

I hate how the word "Lore" sounds like the word "Law" with a Bernie accent. Well done.

[@VimyGlide]

@@overlorddystroy4044 400 iq

[@Whimzy74]

Epic reference

[@rifter0x0000]

@@overlorddystroy4044 I guess you're unaware that "I wrote the damned law" was a quote from the debates. Puns and all that. But explaining a joke ruins the joke.

[@VimyGlide]

@@rifter0x0000 i think he was fully aware considering how he believed op's comment was well done

[@angerblob9151]

Joe just immediately cutting off the dragon's head in one hit and then Berny begrudgingly congratulating him is just the icing on this cake.

[@waahmed7830]

Bruh that hurt

[@jypsridic]

because it's total bullshit that would only happen in a contrived setting where someone was forcing the outcome instead of just accepting the actual results?

[@ansatheatrocious6083]

@@jypsridic dude calm. It was a bit

[@soullessmasquerader8420]

@@jypsridic someone seems mad

[@jypsridic]

@@soullessmasquerader8420 Why wouldn't I be mad?

[@_ninjaneer]

Berniebarian: "I am no longer asking." *Lifts Twisted Tea can*

[@InquisitorThomas]

Imagine paying a priest to cure you hitpoints when you can just take a nap.

[@The3rdFist]

Or use the healer feat

[@notajalapeno4442]

is this heresy

[@dapeck04]

You can't let the people know this shhhhh

[@jacobtibbitts8310]

Oh, you're one of those "natural remedy" people.

[@jordank6961]

@@notajalapeno4442 BROTHER WE MUST PURGE THE HERETICS

[@NStripleseven]

“You’re going to make a lot of enemies, you know” “Yeah, I do every day” Lol

[@Lucas.Blevins]

This 😂😂😂

[@theGhoulman]

This, this... double this!

[@FalconOfStorms]

omg, so based Sticking up for Cuba and the Soviet Union is a total Chad move.

[@Petter1900]

@@FalconOfStorms Oh please. Why don't you go make out with that Strawman if you like it so much.

[@Staff7]

wow ,you definitely a hog with a take like that .

[@bicclizer6051]

"Mystery about a dragon has been going on for three sessions." Definitely, a true sandbox experience

[@tobistein6639]

Is nobody talking about how THE GUARD CAPTAIN HAD A RUSSIAN ACCENT!? This sketch gets better and better with every watch 😂😂

[@AndrzejGieraltCreative]

I think some dude with a Chinese accent may have secretly been fudging Joe’s rolls lol

[@RelyableLerilay]

I don't think it's russian accent btw. Sounds different...

[@ratboy5761]

The king/dragon was donald trump lmao

[@maggazilla]

Yeah the Russian accent was golden! Love all the frustrated Trump simps here tho.

[@enlightenedterrestrial]

That's definitely not a Russian accent

[@jayoctopus8832]

This comment section will be a wholesome and civil one, I’m sure

[@angelman906]

THAT’S SOMETHING A DIRTY COMMIE WOULD SAY!!!

[@legin777]

I'm so ready for this shitstorm.

[@patheronaetherson2860]

*COMMUNISM DETECTED ON AMERICAN SOIL. LETHAL FORCE ENGAGED!!!*

[@triknight7243]

In the distance, you can hear the sharpening of pitchforks and the lighting of torches... They are probably planing a block party of sorts. Hope everyone is wearing a mask.

[@noelhann5262]

Surprisingly it’s pretty alright so far

[@joekabox]

"Did you invite senator Bernie Sanders to play in our D&D game?" Meanwhile, president Joe Biden is just chilling at the back of the table without raising any kind of concern.

[@jbark678]

Joe's been there since session 0

[@IDFK531]

doesn't Joe Biden loiter in your house whenever you play dnd?

[@LateDollars]

He forgot why he was there

[@alexandersassaman1822]

@@LateDollars Just don't let him get too close to you if you use scented shampoo or conditioner. I really regret having hair that smell like coconut when he's over.

[@gibus3128]

He's a regular, we got over that

[@willmena96]

Bernie's hair looks a lot like the DM's cosplay wig. Quite a coincidence, Mr. Sanders

[@arbormoon]

He was the first DM.

[@binolombardi]

They didn’t have an equal distribution of wigs yet.

[@SavesTheGame]

Maybe the DM was cosplaying Bernie?

[@willmena96]

@@SavesTheGame it was a DMPC all along

[@LJCyrus1]

Bernie modeled for the wig, of course. It's part of how he funded his second presidential campaign.

[@firefan9537]

“ weird political commentary That everyone’s going to be upset about” At least I thought it was funny

[@pallydan893]

At least this storming of the capital was enjoyable

[@tiredorchid5629]

@@pallydan893 the fascist coup?

[@pallydan893]

@@tiredorchid5629 I was referring to the contents of this video, not real life events.

[@tiredorchid5629]

@@pallydan893 ah gotcha

[@Joseph.A.J.C.Etheridge]

@@tiredorchid5629 that is laughably overdramatic

[@yourfavoritejegg]

"You're going to make a lot of enemies, you know that?" "I know, I do everyday-"

[@risky_busine55]

"Shut up Joe you never believed in me!" I fucking died

[@gangzetsu6385]

I feel like a lot of these skits begin as fever dreams.

[@RascanThe6th]

Next quest in the arc is finding out who financed Joe's vorpal sword.

[@wsgoodie]

The Vorpal sword was actually a hack, and the villain was an illusion cast by a group of hags.

[@wterlep]

*insert thanks Obama meme here*

[@snakeeyes6669]

I like how Joe didn’t roll initiative yet went first and killed the dragon. LoL

[@malmasterson3890]

Would've been better if he fudged the dice roll lol

[@Gormfork]

@@malmasterson3890 or if he rolled correctly and the king/dm spent the next hour interrogating the joe player on whether he fudged or not

[@malmasterson3890]

@@Gormfork LoL, there was no interrogation of Joe to begin with. The opposers & advisors of the dragon both denied the existence of the fudge, and as the commonfolk who supported their ruler brought forth the chocolately gooey fudge in droves the nobles who paid the opposers & advisors ate it all before anyone could catch a whiff.

[@Gormfork]

​@@malmasterson3890 Sounds like commonfolk who gave into the dragon's lies need to be rehabilitated. Quarantined off into an area where restoration spells can be done so that the fudge madness curse can be lifted. Truly a terrible ailment to suffer, to see fudge where there is none and blindly follow a dragon to the death over it.

[@malmasterson3890]

@@Gormfork Funny, it's almost as if you repeat the same words they give. Like that of a sheep, or a common NPC. It's also amazing how they discovered this ailment without even needing a medicine check, or even a healer's observation. I suppose it doesn't matter either way though, cause even if they try to speak of it they will activate the runes of silence put upon them by the very same nobles.

[@TheDeadGunslinger]

Biden: "Yea I wanted to do that too!" Literally his entire campaign

[@pdthepowerdragon5412]

Don’t say that. Come on man!

[@mateochavez8455]

So electable :')

[@pdthepowerdragon5412]

I mean Jacobs comedy here is better then any other late night hosts comedy on the subject throughout the last 4 years

[@beardalaxy]

Then Joe simply takes the dragon's place and the party has to start back at square one

[@DaveButtons]

I see what you did there

[@Trozomuro]

Mmmmm i did not expect this level of satire here. "Good job, Joe!".

[@connorcookbird]

I really love “I think you’re going to regret that very bigly” and then he transforms into a tiny little winged dragon that can barely lift him up. This is to funny

[@loki2655]

The Dragon couldn't be who we think it was, he admitted his guilt and didn't attack any women or children

[@AlanTenore]

I'll have you know that these are not small wings. Everyone knows it! Everyone knows...everyone knows that these are normal wings, beautiful wings, perfect wings. Wings that don't give a damn about toilet paper. Have you seen the toilet paper lately? Bernie's ok with the toilet paper. I'm not ok with the toilet paper. We're gonna have great toilet paper. And it's gonna have flags...and steel...and not Joe Biden and his vorble...worble...that thing. And what is that thing? and Where...and Why...and Who...and How? Yeah...yeah it was perfect. Perfect wings...and no toilet paper. Speaking of toilet paper...Have you...

[@user-yx4ez2ou4r]

“Yeah I wanted to do that too!” Perfect representation of Biden

[@angelramirez936]

Straight up

[@sebastianwinters9864]

who's biden? that was joe ;p

[@masonschmid2329]

“Yeah I wanted to do that too!.... what were we doing again?” There we go. Slight edit😂😂😂

[@StarWindEnergin]

Would've loved if you guys got Sanders and AOC as Prez and Vice Prez but I'm glad that as part of Sanders dropping out of competition with Biden that Biden had to adopt some of Sanders's reforms.

[@dmonitize9011]

@@StarWindEnergin AOC vice president....? She doesn't even qualify, you have to be 35. She's 31.

[@darkfire1408]

So let me get this straight. The DM, hosting a session where President Joe Biden was already a member of the party, was shocked that Bernie Sanders showed up? Well okay then.

[@alexandersassaman1822]

Listen here buster. If you take 50% of the disadvantage rolls on crit for 3 rounds and make a dex save for the investigation check. Listen you know rest. Don't give me that malarkey. The hobgoblin was a bad dude. I'm Joe Biden and I approve this message?

[@tomfoolery7797]

Well to be fair Joe probably just stumbled in one day while in a confused stupor and in his delirium decided that this was his home and just never left ever since.

[@itwasidio1736]

@Morten Madsen I would ask you to elaborate, but that would lead to an argument, so let's just both agree that he'd be the most Human Champion Fighter out of Human Champion Fighters.

[@itwasidio1736]

@Morten Madsen I don't like arguments on the internet either. Glad we could see eye to eye on both things, you explained it well, as that part is true.

[@Lycaon1765]

@@tomfoolery7797 ah, I see all the "he has dementia!" people still haven't had any self-reflection yet huh.

[@TwoGnomes]

Jacob: I don’t want to get too political Also Jacob: *makes this video*

[@XoftheTITANS]

So far, the comments are tame. Pretty much, it's just Jacob poking at the Republicans and guess they didnt bite. Me, it's funny even with Jacob clearly hoping for it to be chaos at the end of this video.

[@hawkname1234]

And it was comedy gold. C'mon. Everybody can enjoy a good Bernie impersonation!

[@XoftheTITANS]

@@hawkname1234 Bernie is always a delight.

[@anonymouskitten4715]

@@XoftheTITANS I don’t think anyone could be mad at such a sweetheart

[@XoftheTITANS]

@@anonymouskitten4715 of course not on Bernie but, I guess, Jacob wanted to see if ppl would be mad about doing a skit on Papa Biden.

[@jonunciate7018]

Feel the "Bern" without a single casting of fireball.

[@ninjajack6457]

If I’m being honest I wish Bernie Sanders was in my party lol.

[@EilleenCarrion]

I just wish the power distribution would balance itself out so that Bernie would have the time to play D&D.

[@DiscardatRandom]

Yeah he is better than the other candidates from the 2 parties

[@error5202]

You can join Bernie Sanders’ party

[@michaelayen2973]

I would be worried. Based on this video, he would definitely work out the biggest secrets within the first few minutes of play :O

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

All jokes aside, I am genuinely curious of what kind of character Bernie Sanders would play in Dungeons & Dragons

[@Williamfount]

Ok I'm not the only one I wonder what class he would pick

[@veiltricks2947]

Arcane trickster

[@iainblack2171]

Bard maybe? Very persuasive

[@Dyundu]

Had the same thought.

[@bethspaghettiloops6954]

He would make an utterly iconic critical role guest player.

[@joeruiz1196]

I feel like there’s an underlying political element to this but I can’t tell

[@raffaelsteinmann7296]

Yeah, it's so subtle.

[@jonstrack]

Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum "When outside the city the rattle and clatter of swords and shields can be heard throughout the streets."

[@saltytattie833]

yeah I really can't grasp what deeper meaning this story may have.

[@markruiz8085]

Cousin?

[@joeruiz1196]

@@markruiz8085 is...is that you? I thought we lost you in the storm?

[@8miller6]

My only criticism is that the "king" dragon wasn't specified as being a copper dragon.

[@Chraan]

(But that would make it a Good dragon)

[@NearlyH3adlessNick]

@@Chraan yeah? Lol

[@Tuffsmoygles]

@@Chraan naw, he's "pretending" to be a copper dragon. He's actually a white dragon that just spray tans.

[@Phenris]

YES

[@joonapukarinen1153]

@@Tuffsmoygles Now that's comedy!

[@gavinlopez6258]

Joe just killing the dragon and everyone praising him when Bernie does the work is very accurate

[@gavinlopez6258]

@@llk8987 well there were many points in the video, this was one of them

[@TheBlackwolf5011]

I liked that he didn't get the credit and took it in stride.

[@Jatischar]

Well as the Republicans told us, Joe is going to kill God, so of course he has to start with Dragons first

[@tenaciousgamer6892]

Nah Joe would have joined the dragon, in pillaging the people of that town. All while saying he believe in them and their well being.

[@lazyspade1559]

@@llk8987 this sarcasm comes off as antagonistic

[@philipheng3876]

I love how Bernie still supports Biden at the end when he gets all the credit

[@katherineminor3402]

Like irl

[@danielmiller4015]

Praxis.

[@jacobq.2204]

Bernie didn’t do shit but sell out once again. I don’t believe nearly anything he does but he is definitely a huge sell out.

[@zecron8]

@@jacobq.2204 ...What? Bernie's been *very* consistent in his stances from the beginning of his political career. I think you might have been fed some bad Kool-aid, my friend.

[@hentashisatoshi3868]

@@zecron8 You are correct. Bernie is one of our most consistent politicians. He has been on the correct side of history since before it was the norm.

[@scifilounge]

"I can't believe you discovered my BIG DEAL." LOL "I think you're going to regret that very BIGLY." LMMFAO

[@KK25Gaming]

Honestly I found the microscopic wings joke the funniest

[@CrowePerch]

That shit had me rolling. I half expected him to look at his guards and go "Get 'em out, get 'em outta here!"

[@IchiroFuma]

Ah yes, the dreaded orange dragon.

[@commandercaptain4664]

Not much of a mystery when the dragon is named King Covfefe.

[@KK25Gaming]

@@commandercaptain4664 this joke is underrated but I'm only 33 minutes later so...

[@whatamidoing3194]

The vocal journalist when he was only paid a few copper: I am once again asking for your financial support.

[@coyote4326]

"You make two pieces of copper a week. By giving me one of those pieces, you'll be helping me to bring a better future to everyone in this city"

[@charlx8979]

Bernie nodding his head going “good job joe”, because at least the dragon got slain, but with regret in his voice Too true to life, hed have liked to be the one to kill the dragon but as long as the dragon dies hes happy

[@Kaotiqua]

Another reason we all love Bernie.

[@RRS_027]

It's not for the glory! If the beast is slain, that's all that matters! We really need more people with this kind of mindset.

[@beardalaxy]

If you don't tell him good job you'll get sacked when he becomes the dragon.

[@bencebotye3904]

After this, Bernie got a mission to find the true heir to the throne, who is a farmboy. The old wizard begin to teach him about the Capitalism, Socialism and Democracy.

[@youraveragegamer8832]

@@RRS_027 Not realllly. Thinking that the beast is even slain is the first problem, and the second problem is that complacency is what allows a government's people to be abused, both by the government and by corporations

[@lylejohnston2213]

The "I wanted to do that too!" Absolutely killed me.

[@Capwi]

"You're going to make a lot of enemies..." "Yeah I do that every day." Doesn't give a shit. like a boss. So good

[@AltrTheEgo]

"Be quiet Joe you never believed in me" is the quote of the century

[@Asthenoth]

That "Good job, Joe" at the end broke my heart

[@commandercaptain4664]

I'm surprised they didn't say "YO JOE!"

[@keegan_bridge]

IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A RIGHT TO HAVE A STEADY ACCESS TO HEALTH POTIONS AND CURE DISEASE SCROLLS

[@beholdthesupergirl]

Truth! We need to decommodify the alchemy shoppes!

[@markmurex6559]

FREE HEALING FOR EVERYONE!!!

[@spudsbuchlaw]

In older editions where you dont fully recover after a 8 hour rest, this is very true

[@charlx8979]

RESSURECTS FOR ALL!

[@kapitan19969838]

Oh yeah? Who'll be paying for those health potions and scrolls?

[@louisrizzi9990]

Oh my god I just started a campaign with a character called Bernie Sunders who is a barbarian who enters rage every time he sees the exploitation of the working class, and I cant believe you made a video with the same theme! I loved it, great Sanders accent too!

[@arbormoon]

I'm now imagining a character named "Bernie Slanders," a bard who has a lot of enemies, because all of the songs he sings are about building infrastructure instead of paying taxes to the extremely wealthy local baroness "Githyanka."

[@mowzrascal2350]

Hippity hoppity, your NPC’s now my property!

[@preacherjohn]

I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING TO RAAAAAGE! XD

[@TheGiantRobot]

Bernie, not Burny?

[@icevariable9600]

He nailed it.

[@th0rn3]

“be quiet joe, you never believed in me” I’M SCREAMING

[@aidanm9543]

"I am once again, asking for advantage"

[@commandercaptain4664]

"Only the top 5% gets advantage on a linear scale, which simply halves to 7.5% on a slight, 2-die bell curve. That means 92.5% of the non-crits are ignored for the sake of drama."

[@LennardJaros]

I've heard they say that dragon is the most organized, he was the first to be organized, before anyone else was doing it! People come to him and ask "Dragon, how are you so organized? We wish to be as organized as you are!" But he does not share his knowledge of world anvil with them...

[@Japhox45]

WHY IS BERNIE NOT WEARING MITTEN WHEN HE CAME IN!!!

[@JScottGaribay]

Mittens!

[@devincheeseman3867]

they're legendary items, he'll get them AFTER they defeat the dragon.

[@ohvann4566]

Cause the lady that makes those mittens went out of business.

[@Ian-gb1cg]

“The top one percent are hoarding all of the dice!!!”

[@DragonMaster66]

This comment needs way more attention *dice dragons for the win*!

[@mayak3429]

socialize the dice economy. there should be a dice tax and a redistribution of dice!

[@Dovakhiin1172]

"you're gonna make a lot of enemies, y'know that?" "I know, I do every day" I don't care what you think about politics, that's one of the truest things about Bernie you'll ever hear

[@letopizdetz]

reminds me of that old picture where the police were twisting his arm to arrest him at a civil right's protest in '63

[@davidtucker9498]

Communists living in a nation that values personal liberty and freedom DO tend to be disliked...

[@ASpySA]

@@davidtucker9498 Which might be somewhat relevant if he was a communist. Or if communism actually had anything to do with personal liberty or freedom.

[@enriquecabrera2137]

@@ASpySA whatever helps you sleep at night, diet fascists

[@ASpySA]

@@enriquecabrera2137 apparently wanting people to have healthcare is fascist now?

[@anastasijahabarova1533]

Joe: "Yeah! I wanted to do that too!" Sure, Joe... 🙄😂

[@archsteel7]

"Good job, Joe. Good job." Had me dying. Just that quiet, grateful, resentment. "We're glad you killed the dragon, we just wish it'd been Bernie who did it."

[@MrDavidKord]

No resentment from anyone other than the audience lol

[@Nothingseen]

Joe's a Champion with a Vorpal Sword. It didn't seem like it at first, but it was for the best that Joe was able to attack as quickly as he did.

[@ChemoshKamos]

Bernie does the work, Joe gets the credit? Sounds accurate.

[@malmasterson3890]

The truth is, he fudged the dice roll

[@archsteel7]

@@malmasterson3890 If the players could fudge dice, they'd have done it four sessions ago. Truth is, people really did just hate the dragon that much.

[@youtubeisdead1858]

I love how the DM just rolls with it all even as the story changes completely. Even if it's not real we need more dms like that.

[@St_Elmos_Fire]

Bernie needs some comfy mittens that will send his enemies into a blinding rage

[@jcdenton2187]

Bernie Mittens: While wearing these mittens you have +1 to AC and resistance to Cold Damage.

[@preacherjohn]

"Mittens Of Fascination" - while wearing these mittens the wearer gains a +2 boost to CHA, and all creatures within sight of the wearer must make a CHA Save or feel compelled to smile and donate 4 GP to their local 'Meals on Wagons'.. ;)

[@mephostopheles3752]

I like how Bernie isn't even mad that Joe stole his kill. That's a real public servant right there

[@shroudthewolf1105]

*ANGRY HALF ORC NOISES* NOBODY TAKES MY KILL EXCEPT FOR ME NOW PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD *HACKS BIDEN'S HEAD WITH MY AXE* NOW LET'S GET TO DARK DUNGEON TO THE NORTH MY AXE THIRSTS

[@merficvalmar4671]

I like how real bernie works with the dragon now against Joe😉

[@jonahromero7476]

@@merficvalmar4671 what are you talking about?

[@vgarzareyna]

@@jonahromero7476 Yeah I wanted to ask that too!

[@merficvalmar4671]

Follow the news, it was hillarious xD I don't think it will go on for long, but it's so funny right now. A week into it and Joe already pissed on a whole bunch of his voters, even bernie couldn't stand this xD Now he defends Trump's work xDDDD I can't remember the topic, maybe it was over the insulin-prices, or that he stopped the keystone pipeline and lot's of ppl lost their jobs now during the pandemic🤷‍♂️

[@grizzlyb9984]

Bernie: "wow , you invited a senator?" Biden: "game night , i guess."

[@merficvalmar4671]

You know... the thing!..

[@juanperret7044]

Biden just seems like a guy who you could sit down and really have a beer with while playing D&D. (cliche)

[@lol_no_man]

@@juanperret7044 ya know, provided there aren't any kids around and, you never encounter a situation where you have to clear out a dungeon, cause on the one hand those kids are getting glad handed, and on the other he'll drop all his equipment and leave the dungeon halfway through so they'll be stronger when you come back next time.

[@iwi2042]

Bidens barely a president he got the job because people hated trump so much that they voted in Pervy uncle Joe just to get trump out of office......this is why everyone hates america.

[@ElFudgeMusic]

Joe shouting "Shut up, man" after he defeated the dragon was just great. Nice detail.

[@diegomo1413]

“The top 1% of the top 10% of D&D monsters have 90% of the action economy.” -Bios Sanders an instant classic line, well done

[@pikadragon2783]

''all actions are equal but some actions are more equal than others'' -legendary actions

[@KingNedya]

If the top 1% of the top 10% of D&D monsters have 90% of the action economy...then that means that the top 0.1% of all D&D monsters have 90% of the action economy.

[@KushGee]

@@pikadragon2783 Orwell would've loved Bernie.

[@commandercaptain4664]

Which is why I don't waste money on a Monster Manual.

[@melonconley1380]

The commentary here is actually genius.

[@BrendanDonnelly51395]

Joe: "I wanted to do that too" lmfaoo

[@Sirgmon420]

I am once again asking for my homebrew spell to get the DM's support

[@BurrtyTheBard]

I want to play D&D with Senator Bernie Sanders.

[@master0fthearts894]

Seems like a lotta people do.

[@SelvesteDovregubben]

He would pilot a wizard so well, I'm sure of it

[@wiggletonthewise2141]

Don’t we all

[@Vesperitis]

@@SelvesteDovregubben I somehow think he'd play a really inspiring but really weird Bard.

[@garrettcornelison9220]

@@Vesperitis oooh yeah. That or a super awesome unity cleric.

[@UhAdam86]

I be like: * Bernie Sanders at a random D&D game *: logical * Bernie Sanders AND Joe Biden at a random D&D game*: logical * party belives that a dragon and a king are the same just because both of them are assholles, and they are actually proven right *: WTF????

[@fallendeus]

More because the king was funneling all the gold to himself

[@MotoCat91]

Yeah but like, the dragon did have tiny little wingsies

[@nmf0]

People were sent to jail so they could later be fed to the king-dragon.

[@newguy8288]

I guess it’s because they’re not logical in a fantasy setting. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book that the asshole creature is the same as the asshole human, they were one of the same all along! But really, it would take 17 hours to finish a session if those two where there.

[@kateross1655]

And the dragon had a trump voice

[@andrewthegeek6522]

i don't know if this is mocking or admiring but his "accent" is hilarious oh and also the generic thing about being cautious when involving polotics

[@emielpeper9248]

This is a rare instance of lovingly making fun of. Everybody gets just enough ridicule to still be amusing XD

[@andrewthegeek6522]

@@emielpeper9248 i mean nothing is easier to make fun of than polotics

[@mod4rchive]

This video is just how Joe Biden took all the credit

[@CrowePerch]

Ah yes, the feared, loved, and sexually predatory Ancient Orange Dragon. A rare breed of creature, worshipped by its royal guard cosplaying cultists across the land, that chant that the mysterious cabal known as the Deep Kingdom will never take away their longswords.

[@heroofvibe]

rude

[@somebodylikesbacon1960]

No political analogy here. Nope. None at all.

[@sinistertwister686]

Deep Kingdom... Dwarves? Dragons hate dwarves and dwarvesdo live deep underground

[@SecretCh0rd]

Better a kobold than a dretch.

[@LucidStrike]

"I am once again asking you to roll for initiative." "You got in a fight again?!" "Not me, US."

[@cakeinyoface6]

*Cue soviet anthem*

[@atomatopia1]

“I can’t believe that you discovered my *big deal*” You just earned you’s a sub

[@bobsmitch6353]

...and lost a dozen. Injecting politics never ends well.

[@atomatopia1]

@@bobsmitch6353 Well, not sure about the math, but it is a video called “If Bernie Sanders Played D&D” so naturally I did expect some politics. Regardless the *big deal* line is one of the least political lines in this whole sketch. Like the entire rest of the video is about equity and economic policy, but this one line is just a funny caricature of Trump’s mannerisms (to which most of the characters in the sketch are overtly caricatures) Even so, the guy is making a short comedy skit that he finds funny centered around a single 3 dimensionally developed character and surrounded by many other 2 dimensional characters so I don’t think it’s really trying to convey any depth about Trump’s politics. If you feel like this is making fun of your political views then it’s totally understandable to not follow the channel, but I suppose I don’t see the real weight in that particular line of dialogue, other than a funny voice and a punch-line. I am interested to hear how you see it though if you’re interested in sharing

[@merficvalmar4671]

I like how real bernie works with the dragon now against Joe😉

[@rangerstedfast]

Some pretty spot-on imitations here hahaha

[@seigeengine]

@@bobsmitch6353 Weird how his subs jumped like 5x the normal rate around the time this video came out, huh. People who whine about creators including politics need to try suffocating instead.

[@spencermarfy2530]

Jacob woke up and decided to brag about his Bernie impression today

[@francismaguire3207]

If he was a bard his bardic inspiration would be a d12.

[@shturminator3976]

Jacob is just sitting on his couch and is like:"Hmm what am I gonna make my next video about hmmm"* idea hits him*. Jacob:"This is dumb.... that only means one thing.... its gonna be GREAT"

[@OctoSavage]

"you're going to make a lot of enemies around here" "yeah, good. ok."

[@merficvalmar4671]

I like how real bernie works with the dragon now against Joe😉

[@samoththemamoth]

"You're going to regret that very bigly" my new favorite quote

[@markedwards9071]

I’m surprise Joe wasn’t found sleeping instead of slaying the dragon

[@sblibs]

One guy sits down with some mittens and the whole world goes WILD

[@thestratilosopher42]

And thus latch on to the red herring lol

[@john98765333]

Mittens that his policies killed the buisness of. lol

[@vijayanand6650]

"Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is hilarious! If tomorrow I told you that, like, someone will get rick rolled, or that a comment section full of people will call a random song Darude Sandstorm, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say one old senator will sit down with some mittens, well then everyone loses their minds!" -Leath Hedger, The Knark Dight

[@preacherjohn]

@@john98765333 YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES! XD .. ".. teacher who created the recycled wool mittens that U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders wore to the presidential inauguration - engendering countless memes - is partnering with the Vermont Teddy Bear Company to create a whole mitten line to meet soaring demand, with some of the proceeds going to Make-A-Wish Vermont.." “I can't be more thrilled, because I personally can't make 18,000 pairs of mittens," Jen Ellis said Saturday, estimating how many people have contacted her. “Everybody will get their mittens - everybody." abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/creator-bernie-mittens-partners-teddy-bear-maker-75584684

[@Femaiden]

it's clever how he described the city as having "Draconian Law" without actually saying that. Which is when I realized what the twist was going to be. . .

[@vgarzareyna]

Kinda new here, what's Draconian law?

[@christianvannucci6455]

@@vgarzareyna "A code of laws prepared by Draco, the celebrated lawgiver of Athens, that, by modern standards, are considered exceedingly severe. The term draconian has come to be used to refer to any unusually harsh law."

[@vgarzareyna]

@@christianvannucci6455 thx,. thought it was a D&D thing...

[@jesterssketchbook]

@@christianvannucci6455 and ppl sometimes ask me how i know weird facts - thanks for that history lesson bro :D

[@christianvannucci6455]

@@jesterssketchbook It's nothing, I just Googled it. I didn't remember it despite the fact that we studied Greek history too in school

[@dew-it8744]

Me to the bard: I am once again asking for your bardic inspiration.

[@TK_Creative_Studio]

and this kids, will be introduced in history class as a theatrical telling of the 2020 American politics war

[@rowanno]

This comment section is surprisingly wholesome for a video involving politics.

[@sirgentlebread7302]

And then came a chaotic neutral rogue Let's bring it all down

[@maeve6651]

Cause it’s Bernie

[@samundef3500]

Lol prob bc we’re a mostly young adults who are willing to do hours of research just to play a role playing game. It’s the right audience for Bernie

[@rowanno]

@@samundef3500 yeah lol

[@thefrank2364]

Damn are you a talking hammer? Because you just nailed that accent

[@chrisppx]

It’d be nice to play with him because he’d share loot a lot easier

[@Pandaemoni]

But not necessary with the other player characters. How can PCs justify keeping vast hoards when so many NPCs live on less than one gold piece per day? And they hoard magic items creating a system when the average person can't get any!

[@bignumbers]

You donate your share of the loot to him and he vanishes 😦

[@Memnon-ro4cl]

I mean your party would be equally poor

[@cloud4an]

He shares his party members' treasure lol

[@potatotactics1398]

@@bignumbers Then returns saying "I am once again asking for your financial support"

[@vlover15OO]

Dragon uses breath attack. Dragon: "You're fired"

[@MSOGameShow]

"I sure hope this wasn't some political commentary everyone is going to be mad about" I mean I thought it was funny, and jabs were made at every side so it's not like favorites were being played or anything (Though let's face it people are still going to be angry about it...)

[@NickErkens-ft1ve]

I think because every one was being made fun of in a creative original way, is the exact reason why this comment section is so wholesome. No side, no repetitive lame jokes, no political agenda, just an absurdly funny dnd session.

[@magica3526]

@@NickErkens-ft1ve i mean the tiny wing jokes and all that were tired, but yeah

[@ajgunter8932]

that last line and look at the camera killed me

[@davidtucker9498]

It was honestly pretty tepid... Really nothing political was even insinuated, other than "orange man bad." It had Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Dragon Trump, and somehow managed to be almost entirely inoffensive.

[@Lycaon1765]

@@davidtucker9498 there were 2 other things insinuated, but those can be argued to just be reaching. Like the "yeah I wanted to do that too" from Joe can be inferred to mean "oh biden just steals Bernie's positions". Also when the hat Jacob says "I don't think that math is right" to bernie that could be a comment about how his plans don't have realistic/any budgets or several other comments/arguments he makes with wrong math.

[@reiteration6273]

I lost it when Biden is just like "Yeah, I wanted to do that too!"

[@yes904]

*Joe

[@Deucali0n666]

@@yes904 You do realise what Biden's first name is right?

[@lucasatrox]

"NOT ME, US" nat 20, you convince the city guard to help you fight the dragon

[@bardkaitiff1962]

I cant tell: greatest derailment of campain ever or just 9000+ IQ

[@richard7199]

Could we get one with a Barbarian Teddy Roosevelt? Saving nature and getting shot while giving a speech, and then continuing said speech while swinging a tree?

[@haydencrawford8552]

GET THIS COMMENT UP

[@DrunkenCoward1]

“The bandit lunges at you, slashing his blade at you and... *rolls die* ...cuts your arm clean off.“ *Saving throw* “I'm gonna beat him to death with the arm he cut off.“

[@RexOrbis]

Wouldn't he be a ranger?

[@kevinduffy09]

No we can have that remember all past presidents especially Republicans were racist Nazis

[@kevinduffy09]

@@RexOrbis no speak softly and carry a big stick is a barbarian...... Maybe a paladin

[@Max-zs8zr]

Do Jordan Peterson! He’d be a hilarious in a dnd game. ‘How do we kill this dragon?’ ‘Well bucko, how do you expect to slay the dragon if your room isn’t in order? Look at your associates! You’ve surrounded yourself with chaotic evil rogues and annoying bards. You’re a shell of an adventurer!’

[@ryanorr4626]

The game would start with a three-hour lecture on why it's important to be lawful good with an integrated chaotic evil nature, while constantly making small excursions into being chaotic good, so that your lawful good nature can maintain itself over time.

[@rossm7346]

I said this in a Canadian accent/Kermit voice, for some reason

[@C0365086]

@@rossm7346 the reason is clear

[@dustinmccollum7196]

Haha I think we found a new d&d video ideas that is untapped lol.

[@articusramos808]

Sounds like a band "Chaotic evil rogues and annoying bards"

[@Pandaemoni]

Don't bring your anti-dragon agenda to D&D. It's tired and lazy.

[@itwasidio1736]

Dragons are a part of the game, and serve as a good plot metaphor. Personally, I like some dragons, but dislike others.

[@kevinduffy09]

Not all dragons have to be the bad guy

[@foolwise4703]

"You will regret that very bigly" - sure way to identify a reality tv star/polititian.

[@Castlattice]

Now I like to imagine senators having D&D games and making the villains other politicians they don’t like.

[@Keyce0013]

I am pretty sure based off of the rough accent I heard, that the Dragon was Donald Trump.

[@Castlattice]

Yeah, I also knew it was Dragon Trump because of his extremely small wings that could barley keep him up (small hands) and being disgusting

[@nessesaryschoolthing]

It's like The Divine Comedy of DnD games

[@DefaultProphet]

It'd always just be Ted Cruz if it was senators. On either side.

[@khafaniking1230]

“Shut up Joe you never believed in me!” 😭

[@MaxineInYourWifi]

I didnt knowed that you were friends with the actual bernie sanders.

[@dishsoap9945]

Thank you xp to level 3 I will now steal this Plot idea