If You Freak Out In New Relationships, Try Changing THIS

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Crappy Childhood Fairy

Crappy Childhood Fairy

Күн бұрын

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Attachment wounds can make people with CPTSD prone to RUSH IN to relationships and confuse the excitement of new romance with actual, trustworthy, reciprocated LOVE. In this video I teach you a powerful, positive change you can make to minimize the impact of your trauma-driven thinking -- though you may not want to hear it!
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Пікірлер: 168
@allisona9490
@allisona9490 Жыл бұрын
Scaring away crappy guys who want casual sex before a relationship is what you WANT!!
@Dzkhadouj
@Dzkhadouj Жыл бұрын
100%
@michaelhollins7765
@michaelhollins7765 Жыл бұрын
Why does that make a guy "crappy?" If a woman wants to have sex with me before we really know each other, that's her call. If a man is somehow obligated to make an adult woman's decision about that for her, what's the source of that obligation?
@allisona9490
@allisona9490 Жыл бұрын
This is in the context that she wants a relationship, so for her those guys would be crappy. Do what you want.
@xochj
@xochj Жыл бұрын
Seriously!
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
Ever seen a wild animal just put in a cage? (Boundaries). They pace, bang around, snarl and growl in frustration and anger. They are essentially pissed off. They don't like it! When you set a sexual boundary, watch how the other partner reacts. Do they honor and respect your boundaries, or act like a sulking, caged animal ready to tear into your moral fiber?
@bethtaylor9773
@bethtaylor9773 Жыл бұрын
What boundary? There's no boundary there. A boundary is what I will do or not do - not put it in the ballcourt of the other person. Big tip: Users listen to what we do and not to what we say. We listen to what they say and don't pay attention to what they do.
@evadebruijn
@evadebruijn Жыл бұрын
That big tip is a very helpful eyeopener, thank you!
@limitedtime5471
@limitedtime5471 Жыл бұрын
"Trust me, a stranger, completely until i get what i want, then feel however you want about it" wow, but there was a time i was trying so hard to be likable this might've made sense to me
@MellowJelly
@MellowJelly Жыл бұрын
Yeah it's not normal in terms of evolutionary survival to trust anything until much time has passed 🤷🏻‍♀️
@meeraraj0
@meeraraj0 Жыл бұрын
20:50 it's profoundly healing to be loved by somebody who is committed to you. You will have deep conversations about things
@jamieb2289
@jamieb2289 Жыл бұрын
(Sorry, this is kind of long!) I switched from the idea of Boundaries to using the concept of Prerequisites, and it massively improved my ability to stick to what I'd decided for myself. Because of my childhood I have HORRIBLE boundary issues. The concept doesn't resonate with me, because they were never instilled in me as a kid. I understand the general idea, but for the life of me, I don't know how to put them into practice. So all my "boundaries" were really just suggestions/preferences that sounded good on paper, but I completely ignored when it came time to actually utilize them. So I shifted my thinking and started thinking of them as "prerequisites", because this was a concept I was familiar with (I am a college student, lol). Whereas "boundaries" never made sense and could be moved (as far as my mind knew), "prerequisites" were solid and could not be adjusted. You could not progress to the next step unless you met certain criteria, and it was non-negotiable and out of my hands. No matter how sweet someone was, if they didn't have the mandatory prerequisites, I could not allow them to move forward with courting. If we courted and they fell short of the necessary "Boyfriend Material" prerequisites, then they didn't have the qualifications to graduate onto dating me. I've written my prerequisites, because it's important to me to be able to see them and be so familiar with them, that I can immediately recognize when someone is falling short. (Nothing outrageous-- not like "they have to be a millionaire and drive a sports car", but stuff like "has to treat me with respect, expresses intrest in investing in a future through actively making effort to spend time with me"...stuff like that.) Applying the concept of prerequisites as qualifying factors (instead of these suggestions that my mind called "boundaries") really shifted how I engage in friendships/relationships, when the concept of boundaries was too abstract for me. Prerequisites was an objective standard my mind could comprehend and I could stick to, and lead me to healthier dynamics with other people.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy
@lovedbeyond6422
@lovedbeyond6422 Жыл бұрын
This is awesome. I always use the word limitations, because I took chemistry classes and the limiting agent made the experiment slow down until the limit was met. I love your prerequisite idea. When I was a kid boundaries were moved and manipulated, so why would I want that as my model? I'm glad we learned a different way 💜
@fairygurl9269
@fairygurl9269 Жыл бұрын
Respect to You
@Shanajapapaya
@Shanajapapaya Жыл бұрын
Wonderful approach! I've been doing the same (I think of them as boxes ticked - you don't want kids? Sorry then you're not ticking all boxes, we cannot under any circumstances move forward. Ofc I have quite a few boxes, being an honest integre person is one of the most important ones). Many of my friends tell me I'm being too picky, and that that's supposedly why I've been single and unlaid for a long time, but they know not what they do (or speak of). I'd rather go through the desert with my head up high than fall to my knees for a false idol. Or whatever biblical metaphor can be inserted here 😂😂
@barefootincactus
@barefootincactus Жыл бұрын
I would love to see all your prerequisites. This is a great idea. Thanks for telling us about it.
@darwinkius
@darwinkius Жыл бұрын
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Dr. Maya Angelou
@totalmcr4eva
@totalmcr4eva Жыл бұрын
One piece of advice that I have learnt is to trust when someone tells you something that would affect your opinion of them. Ie if they tell you that they are not ready for a relationship, they mean it. People will lie about positive attributes, but rarely about negatives.
@Uncivilize
@Uncivilize Жыл бұрын
I just had an experience where the communication went well about where we were each at. We had met, and had been texting, when some sexual jokes started coming up between us, a little banter. He asked me directly if I was sexually active. I responded that I don't randomly hook up. He explained that he has a few sexual partners and that they were friends and that he liked it that way, not wanting a relationship. I responded that for me, a boyfriend would be better and that even if I had sex with someone that they would need to be a good friend, which takes time. He said he understood, and said 'Respect'. The whole exchange was incredibly clear, non-manipulative and non- judgemental. In conclusion, I must be healing! This video was in perfect alignment with my experience recently. Thanks Crappy Childhood Fairy!💫
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Great! -Cara@TeamFairy
@tanyas6100
@tanyas6100 Жыл бұрын
For the past two years, I've been setting a standard for myself about dating. I am upfront and tell guys I want to get to know them first before we get intimate. I find that most guys will either push you for sex or walk away. It's discouraging. All the guys I meet just want instant gratification or they are gone. I don't give in to them. It's just sad that in 2 years I haven't met one guy who wanted to get to know me. I am an attractive woman. I even went on dates that are not my normal type and still the same. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
@Ana-rb7ws
@Ana-rb7ws Жыл бұрын
@@gracelewis6071 correct. This is how things have become. We can thank the people before us who made hookups normal, so much so that it is now the norm. That, and the likes of Tinder. Men don’t have an incentive to want anything else anymore. The only advice I have is just because everyone else is doing it, you shouldn’t too. Doing the right thing is always right, even when no one else is doing it. I’d also say to give Godly men a chance. They’re less suave and svelte than the guy who’s mastered the art of picking women up. But what they lack in slickness, it is made up for by good character. And there is nothing that gives more peace to a soul than good character.
@seraphilight
@seraphilight Жыл бұрын
Where you're getting them. Do you live in America?
@ericnekli7631
@ericnekli7631 Жыл бұрын
I'm a guy who actually needs a committed relationship before anything else. Sex is anything but casual. Intimacy, to me, is impossible without trust and trust is impossible without forming a secure bond first. I'm glad now, for being extremely selective in my choice of a romantic partner. A plethora of common interest, great communication, mutual appreciation and the same core values. These are my standards. I can't have it any other way, which is good, for now I found the most decent, caring and interesting person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
You are not doing anything wrong. In fact, you are doing it right. Never give in! Your body is too valuable and precious to give to an attractive predator. Caveat: 10 years from now, those guys, with those perverted values will not be physically attractive. Trust me. You are not "prey", but a "prize". Never forget that.
@Ana-rb7ws
@Ana-rb7ws Жыл бұрын
@@joeljoy4144 ♥️
@bethtaylor9773
@bethtaylor9773 Жыл бұрын
"I feel something for you now" is future faking.
@publicserviceannouncement4777
@publicserviceannouncement4777 Жыл бұрын
Good catch
@myrtofeli7340
@myrtofeli7340 Жыл бұрын
I believe Spirit sent me to your KZbin channel when I needed to receive knowledge on all of these things. I have watched many of your videos just in a few days and I have started the daily practice. I live in Greece. You have an impact worldwide. Thank you so much for helping me and so many people in the world. You speak so beautifully and wise about all that concerns CPTSD. You do God's Work 🤗💓🙏💫
@dunjapaj8849
@dunjapaj8849 Жыл бұрын
Wonderful comment and SO true! Greetings from Sweden!
@stacyjaye6350
@stacyjaye6350 Жыл бұрын
Sending strength, courage, and peace to you from Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA ⚔️💪☮️😘
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your kind words! So glad the videos and the Daily Practice have been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@KandyKoatedKrafts
@KandyKoatedKrafts Жыл бұрын
@@stacyjaye6350 I’m from Tulsa too! 🍁🍂🍁
@stacyjaye6350
@stacyjaye6350 Жыл бұрын
@@KandyKoatedKrafts actually, Bartlesville but you know... That wouldn't tell people much geographically. Peace from Bartlesville sister! ☮️💪😆
@nathlete87
@nathlete87 Жыл бұрын
I used to be just like the girl in this letter, it made me feel both extreme empathy and second hand embarrassment. I pray she knows we are all rooting for her to overcome the allure of this type of man. In the past this type of situation would’ve had me falling apart, these days I laugh when a man thinks sex with him is some sort of privilege. You can overcome this validation seeking behavior Connie. Your boundaries don’t require words. They are within you. Love yourself so much you can’t imagine consenting to this sort of low energy, bare minimum foolishness. It’s a journey, but you can do it!
@halcyondays8945
@halcyondays8945 Жыл бұрын
Beautifully and compassionately said.
@godzillamanstreb524
@godzillamanstreb524 Жыл бұрын
A male friend told me in my 20’s….’guys just want to get in your 👖’……it really woke me up bc I too, thought sex was the way to the heart…..is that caused by father neglect??
@parklady4233
@parklady4233 Жыл бұрын
Transactional sex. They want sex and you want romance and time with them. Transactional relationships is a part of magical thinking. “if I do this, you will give me that.” Nothing good comes from Thinking like that. Believe me. Spent whole adult life thinking like that
@lynneivison5773
@lynneivison5773 Жыл бұрын
I am so grateful that I can now refer to my Church and say casual sex is not an option. At 67 if I could go back I would have taken my parent's advice and not had sex before marriage - re-evaluating my life and think that free love in the 60s which continues, was a disaster for women. Nothing short of disaster for me, that I know. I went out with someone last year and he ran when I told him my religeous situation. So glad he ran. Friends, interests are my focus. Really doubt a partner in the future and that is OK. I am trying to rebuild the self-esteem I gave away little by little by pre marital sex.
@dienowplzkthx
@dienowplzkthx Жыл бұрын
I can see how it's benefit you, however the reasons and ways they (the church, religious leaders and families) go about it is EXTREMELY toxic. I was raised to hate myself, my body, my sexuality; humiliation, shame, degradation. Having sex as a woman outside of marriage is viewed as a moral and character failing rather than a simple human mistake. The issue isn't treated with kindness or compassion, it's for very misogynistic and patriarchal reasons. Not good at all. So I had those teachings at home and from the culture, but I learned that I'm NOT a bad person for having sex - however the only thing I had to fall back on was liberal feminism which also only benefits men who want sexual access to women without any regards to our safety and sanity. We need to teach different things for BETTER reasons.
@charlottetaylor4471
@charlottetaylor4471 Жыл бұрын
Casual sex is only ok if there's mutual respect there. And unfortunately that's lacking in most casual sex encounters.
@sparklesp9304
@sparklesp9304 Жыл бұрын
@@charlottetaylor4471 Women don't need to have casual sex with misogyny still in place. I don't think you guys get it. Marriage, created by the patriarchy, protects women from men because the patriarchy understands how men think.
@kathyingram3061
@kathyingram3061 Жыл бұрын
~Yes, this is my exact same situation!!!~
@MellowJelly
@MellowJelly Жыл бұрын
@@sparklesp9304 marriage in a fundamentalist perspective just gives a man ownership of a woman and heavily suggests she needs to have sex whenever he wants to regardless of her pleasure or consent
@SharkRecordFilms
@SharkRecordFilms Жыл бұрын
Hi! I see so many of your videos are directed to people who typically engage in casual sexual relationships etc. But what about those of us who have C-PTSD who have never been in a sexual relationship or have never engaged in sexual activities from fear and trauma. Ive been single for 4 years and never have enganged in casual sex or anything of that sort. I would greatly appreciate atleast one video on those of us who never engange is casual sex or relationships.
@BeesWaxMinder
@BeesWaxMinder Жыл бұрын
👍
@mystearicanohr9521
@mystearicanohr9521 Жыл бұрын
Yes please help us hypo-sexual folks too. 😢 I’m gonna be a 40 year old virgin in a few years if I’m not careful. 😔 Anxious-avoidant on steroids.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Please write in: hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com -Cara@TeamFairy
@VioletEmerald
@VioletEmerald Жыл бұрын
@@mystearicanohr9521 Have you considered asexuality or the ace spectrum? If you have and you know it's not you, I'd love to still hear your letter you write in about it. Maybe I should be brave and write in too in some way or another. I also feel left out sometimes, watching these videos and relating to so much despite all the aceness of my life... lol
@raraavis7782
@raraavis7782 Жыл бұрын
Oh man. This video was such a revelation for me. This isn't me...I'm more the overly cautious, 'I'll keep my distance, thank you very much' type. But I've seen this behavior in girlfriends and always felt really shitty, because I couldn't really symphazise with (never mind help) them. To me, the situation was always completely clear and I couldn't understand, why they would fall for this crap or those type of guys. I'm glad, I now understand a little better, what's going on there. Because yes...the girlfriends in question all did have 'difficult childhoods'. Every single one of them. I just wasn't able, to make the connection between that and lack of judgement, when it comes to manipulative partners. Great video!
@aaloha2902
@aaloha2902 Жыл бұрын
Oh wow, I have these dilemma’s all the time. Thank you Anna for your clear perspective & advice! I’ve had a single period that lasted over 15 yrs, without any casual sex and don’t want to repeat that. Then dated an extremely avoidant guy who reeled me in, wanted to spend a whole lot of time with me, but didn’t commit for obvious reasons. It took me 2 yrs to get back into dating finding mostly avoidant, polyamorous, Ethically non-monogamous men with major check-lists there and by now I’m feeling very discouraged that I’m ever going to find a good partner whatsoever. 🙏🏼
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Hang in there, thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy
@serenity_in_reverie
@serenity_in_reverie Жыл бұрын
9:30 "...he says "i have feeling for you NOW" but right before you have sex with somebody, of course they have feelings for you, it IS sexual feeling..." thank you for mentioning this. This is the most logical and rational answer as response to "i have feeling for you" right before having sex. Ofc it's sexual feeling, the lust. but not the love. maybe ppl with traumas/attachment wounds would take that sentence too literal without considering any other possibility. so when we hear about "i have a feeling for you", we're quickly assuming that it must've been "love". since we have expectation before hand, we project that expectation outside even though the reality says otherwise. so our minds try to fit any "clues" they give into truth when it might be not. "feeling" is a broad thing. it could be anything. feeling of lust.. feeling of fear of being alone as in codependency, feeling of obsession as in limerence, they might seem like "love" but those feelings aren't love. you've always made great videos. thanks!
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing! Glad you enjoyed the video :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@sunnyadams5842
@sunnyadams5842 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant! Thank you. And thank you, Anna!
@misshern3696
@misshern3696 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been binge watching you for the past three days. I have a lot of healing to do and before I react out of anxiety I am getting as much knowledge before I make a choice with a current relationship. Thank you for posting such valuable information.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for the encouraging words! -Cara@TeamFairy
@Jean-un2or
@Jean-un2or Жыл бұрын
Fantastic video - so many women need to see this. So many scary people and predators out there. I’ve had a few relationships in my life and they have been all toxic. It was never love. Smh.
@RoadRunnergarage8570
@RoadRunnergarage8570 Жыл бұрын
I'm so afraid to get hurt again I don't even try to find relationships anymore....
@MsGnor
@MsGnor Жыл бұрын
Thanks darling Anna! *The advice I'd give my Younger Self: Men want one thing ONCE.* This would've deleted the non-viables in a key stroke. Also in my case men have given me better dating advice than women, they can usually smell another guy's BS quicker than my romantic-hearted lady buddies. There are amazing men out there, they're worth waiting for 🌈💖
@melitapavlinic7302
@melitapavlinic7302 Жыл бұрын
I wanted to add this kind of pattern seems very familiar. I assume the writer is in her 20's, possibly 30's and that a lot of guys she meets are from dating sites. My second assumption would be that she has a limited social circle and that she does not get to meet quality guys otherwise. My tip would be to change the places she goes to and to get to know guys on a friendships basis through common interests and raise her standards. I also myself experienced a lot of frustration and headache because every guy wanted something casual ans I wanted a relationship because deep down it seemed the only acceptable outcome for me and I did not want to settle down for anything else. It was a basic incompatibility that led to conflicts and a very quick dissolution of these kind of unions because I refused to accept somebody's lack of interest, basically just crumbs until I met ny boyfriend in a real life in a group setting
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for chiming in! -Cara@TeamFairy
@stephlalalitta
@stephlalalitta Жыл бұрын
17:15 ugh that got me. I cried a little.
@yatesmsw
@yatesmsw Жыл бұрын
this is so helpful :)...most of my life the only way I could relate to men is sexually. i am working on it
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
@yatesmsw
@yatesmsw Жыл бұрын
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you
@seraphilight
@seraphilight Жыл бұрын
That dude was absolutely manipulating what she said so he got what he wanted but came out "clean".
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
Nobody comes out "clean" as you said. Somewhere down the road that man will reap what he has sown. To others, you get bad karma.
@pizzapizzapizza5
@pizzapizzapizza5 Жыл бұрын
Your hair looks stunning like that. You look really pretty!
@ndumi-light
@ndumi-light Жыл бұрын
Connie seems to be self-judging and shaming herself for wanting what she wants. Hence the struggle to own her boundaries and stand by them. 💚
@Shanajapapaya
@Shanajapapaya Жыл бұрын
Indeed. If I can project, there's probably some "I'm being too difficult, I'm expecting too much" thinking going on. Apparantly standard behavior for cptsd's to second guess themselves so much unfortunately :/
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing that insight! -Cara@TeamFairy
@angelasmith3332
@angelasmith3332 Жыл бұрын
Your videos are fantastic, thank you so much.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for listening, so glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy
@walterkeane3380
@walterkeane3380 8 ай бұрын
Thank you. I thought that was fantastic! A message I needed to hear!
@rebeccajones8628
@rebeccajones8628 Жыл бұрын
This is probably the best advice I have ever heard you give. I agree with all of your comments. You are like the big sis I never had.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
So glad the video was helpful! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@rebotilezondo5758
@rebotilezondo5758 Жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this, thank you so much for your insightful analysis of situations 🙏 you are extra ordinary talented and helpful 👏 😉😁🥰 I'm glad to have been guided to your video. You are a remarkable blessing 🙌
@ellisburton8733
@ellisburton8733 Жыл бұрын
Great video 👍🏼. Realistic and wise words. Thank you so much. The more self-aware you are the better choices you can make. So good. 💐
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for listening! -Calista@TeamFairy
@lisalambert81865
@lisalambert81865 Жыл бұрын
I use to jump all in and hit it at 60 mph, but I was still picking about who I was sexual with, I’m 57, but have only been sexual with 9 men, number 10 will have to be special since my therapy I have taken time to know someone which showed me they weren’t worth being sexual with and sharing my energy.
@sweetchildmine08
@sweetchildmine08 Жыл бұрын
Wonderful advice from the Fairy! But too many ads interrupting
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching! -Cara@TeamFairy
@TheLillipuss
@TheLillipuss Жыл бұрын
You’re truly amazing ❤
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! -Cara@TeamFairy
@GeminiPlatypus
@GeminiPlatypus Жыл бұрын
Anyone else ever wish they could get a brain transplant to speed up the proccess 😂 I jest. Keeping being awesome Anna and all you here ❤️
@beegee5305
@beegee5305 Жыл бұрын
I think he should show trustworthiness before giving 100% trust. Guard your heart ... according to the Bible.
@lynnphilo472
@lynnphilo472 Жыл бұрын
You are great
@KoolT
@KoolT Жыл бұрын
Missed this one, was working.
@gabriella8797
@gabriella8797 Жыл бұрын
Exactly right about casual sex
@carmenkamberos1156
@carmenkamberos1156 Жыл бұрын
Sorry, but that’s clear what he wants: sex. You cannot have feelings of altruistic love for a person in such a short time. It takes time to know a person to love them. The “feeling” at the beginning is desire or lust. Don’t confuse the feelings of desire because you’re attractive to them with the feeling of altruistic love and respect, which develops with time. Let the fellow know you for awhile, if he can’t wait , he’s not interested, period. Move on graciously. Blessings
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
Amen
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing! -Cara@TeamFairy
@xochj
@xochj Жыл бұрын
There are good men who want fatherhood, responsibility, and the real intimacy that comes with marriage. Maybe she's looking in the wrong places?
@aspiringrootwoman24
@aspiringrootwoman24 Жыл бұрын
I think it's hard to see, recognize and attract them without doing the inner work because trauma goggles throw off one's perception regardless of the places where one is looking
@fatmahassan319
@fatmahassan319 Жыл бұрын
What about ppl who have this problem but they are celibate ?
@kaythiastar
@kaythiastar Жыл бұрын
Is that what female friends do? Seriously, I would not know. And damn if it's true, that behavior would be super helpful.
@Kynamagic90
@Kynamagic90 Жыл бұрын
Wait didn’t this get posted agessas ago?
@soniachambers6460
@soniachambers6460 Жыл бұрын
She's reposting, she said
@Nayaniify
@Nayaniify Жыл бұрын
Let the man peruse you.
@Gingergurl61
@Gingergurl61 Жыл бұрын
If I've already had sex after he asked me to be his girlfriend, (dating a month), and now he seems to be cooling off a bit is it too late to set new boundaries? I feel something is different but I don't know for sure.
@belenmunoz5952
@belenmunoz5952 Жыл бұрын
Hi! What if you both have cptsd?
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Most often do- you work on yourself. -Cara@TeamFairy
@RoadRunnergarage8570
@RoadRunnergarage8570 Жыл бұрын
It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants... And neither does she know what she wants.. as the old saying goes"Two wrongs don't make a right.."..
@KoolT
@KoolT Жыл бұрын
22:41 along Came Polly life. Lol.
@PearlJamAndBiscuits
@PearlJamAndBiscuits Жыл бұрын
In my experience if men's lips are moving they are usually lying. I see them all as lying users with no regard to other's feelings. They are the most selfish animal on the planet imo. Im not gay but I steer clear of them at all costs. I might be too old and jaded to ever think differently about them. Been lied to and cheated on one too many times I guess.
@MellowJelly
@MellowJelly Жыл бұрын
There are definitely men out there who hate and despise women as much as you dislike men, I don't really respect people who just generalize and judge an entire gender. I know a lot of nice men in my life who are honest loyal compassionate caring protectors. I'm sorry you didn't have that experience at all in your life
@MellowJelly
@MellowJelly Жыл бұрын
But yes the guy in the letter in this video is despicable
@KoolT
@KoolT Жыл бұрын
I love Steve Harvey's dating book. Act like a Lady, think Like a man.
@RaskyUlv
@RaskyUlv 9 ай бұрын
How do you do this in a good way when somebody long distance comes to visit for the first time?
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy 9 ай бұрын
Whatever you do, don't have them stay with you. Just date.
@RaskyUlv
@RaskyUlv 9 ай бұрын
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you
@TheLillipuss
@TheLillipuss Жыл бұрын
Would you suggest seriously dating multiple people so feelings are not over invested?
@CrappyChildhoodFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Жыл бұрын
Nope.
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
C.S. Lewis, in his classic work, "Mere Christianity", equates marriage, between a man and woman, in a sexual union as "one organism". When you are sexual with another, before being united on an emotional, mental, spiritual, even uniting two families together, problems will arise. All those things take time to nurture and grow before sex enters the equation. As Anna states so bluntly, but profoundly, you "crap-fit".
@joeljoy4144
@joeljoy4144 Жыл бұрын
My first date was when I was 21. The girl was still in high school (17). Tennis date. Sweats, no makeup. Hair in ponytail. Both getting tired and sweaty. Playful bet on who wins. Prize for victory was the other paid for sodas. No pressure, (except for who wins the bet). Her parents secretly followed us to make sure I was really going to play tennis, because it was nighttime. (And she was a minor). It was fun. Memorable. Simple. Playful. A little frustration at hitting a bad shot, AND LOSING. No trying to impress or put forth a false image of oneself, (though I impressed her by my tennis prowess). People, get back to the beautiful simplicity of dating without sexual pressure. The culture. The music. The TV dramas and sitcoms. Social media. TicToc videos. Your peers. The celebrity worship culture. They are all mostly lying to you about what healthy relationships or sexuality looks like.
@fairygurl9269
@fairygurl9269 Жыл бұрын
🧚‍♀️
@danherrmann8755
@danherrmann8755 Жыл бұрын
Yes. Bagged. Needs to dropped. It is the past. Later
@karenlouise2156
@karenlouise2156 Жыл бұрын
Ancient wisdom no marriage no sex. . This women needs to level up inside and out. She needs to look her best, hair make up clothing presention skills. Massive psychotherapy. This is a sad mess.
@lauralittle6899
@lauralittle6899 Жыл бұрын
One thing I hate js the advice of getting to know someone before you have sex. I have never wanted to waste time dating or getting go know " someone just to find out they suck in bed. So that's why I slept with people 1st night! I ain't got time for that advice, " and my bad, but it drives me nuts 🤪 I'm like let's sleep together 1st and THEN I'll decide if I wanna go to dinner with you 🤔
@RoadRunnergarage8570
@RoadRunnergarage8570 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. .
@Teknicolourful
@Teknicolourful Жыл бұрын
I used to find your stuff very helpful, but it seems more and more that you're just driving traffic offsite, or trying to make more money off of old content. The topic of this letter is casual exchanges, not anxiety in new relationships. Very misleading.
@nnn43
@nnn43 Жыл бұрын
how can I stop falling into others veiw of me and stop seeing there point of view that I now know isn't accurate
@Dbb27
@Dbb27 Жыл бұрын
Stop caring what they think. You are you, not what others think of you. Your behavior will prove them wrong.
@nnn43
@nnn43 Жыл бұрын
I appreciate you saying that but at the same time I have a learning disability that I can't get help for I'm homeless for about 16 years now no matter how hard I've worked things have only gotten worse and now I can't try anymore. I'm not going to try anymore. My plan is to get stoned and play videogames like I used to when I was a teen. Is crazy because my life would have been better if I did this sooner. I turned out how they wanted me to but not for the reasons they think.
@mintyhippo8125
@mintyhippo8125 Жыл бұрын
I think the biggest thing to remember is that you are worth love and respect even if the people in your life right now don’t see that. You have the same right to be happy and alive as anyone else, and no one can take that away from you.
@nnn43
@nnn43 Жыл бұрын
@@mintyhippo8125 thank you
@nnn43
@nnn43 Жыл бұрын
Minty hippo 🤣🤣 I love that. Thanks again.
@sugarsnap1000
@sugarsnap1000 Жыл бұрын
Assumed trust, I did that once never again!
@rdbeckett590
@rdbeckett590 Жыл бұрын
Fantastic info!!! My parents never talked to me about sex or body stuff…. I knew it was totally off limits and no boys were allowed in my bedroom-but other than that I was not prepared for any relationship and a sexual relationship at that!!!!! I thought I had cancer when I got my cycle. 😢😢😢😢 it was rough. When my breast’s came in I thought I had a tumor and started crying. 😢 I had NO information at all. I was an only child and I don’t know why my mom never talk to me about all that woman stuff…..🥱 maybe she didn’t want me to know the miserable stuff that was to come……😮
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