It has been 3 years since I was ghosted by someone whom I knew for 14 years. Her and I had never dated but developed a much closer friendship in the last year of our time together. I understand that my limerence issue caused my immense loss. I guess I just don't care. If limerence is wrong, then I don't want to be right. I wish I never knew anything.

Soo being a responsible adult or a parent (like me) can be fulfilling? It can be something to enjoy? To be proud of? Instead of boring, suffocating and one big pile of misery (with fairylights sometimes?) If I do this I will like to be an adult? I see that I hated the idea of it 😂 but I know I want to. I have to.

Try imagining what a real relationship with an object of limerence would look like to potentially be able to handle it better, because it usually consists of an emotional bubble with no content i think. Limerence is not an actual longing for a real other person, it's just daydreaming yourself away into a fantasy. Get comfortable in your own skin first, the rest will follow naturally from there

Such priceless insight ❤ everything here is useful. I have cptsd and continue to heal and your channel is such a help!!! 😊

I struggled once to get my shit together as a teenager - and had a nervous breakdown because the harder I worked the more alone and unrecognized I felt. I struggled a second time... and literally had a heart attack at age 32. Every time I try, I snap in some way, mentally or physically - the stress is unsustainable. I do not trust self-discipline because I literally fear it will kill me or lead to a desperate life of constant anxiety, isolation and misery. I am so tired of the see-saw from lackadaisical permissiveness and comforting avoidance and cocooning (which induces shame and causes messes to build up) to frothing-at-the-mouth panic ifear-based work and I hate the hopeless grind. I see myself as a victim. I know my "tragic opera." I know how to feel hopeless. I want hope and more than hope real change where I can manage fear and guilt and find a way to guide myself safely, sanely and with as much love as possible through hard work towards goals I really believe in.

Can limerance and erotomania could be related, as limerance would be a mild symptom of this disorder?

I’ve been grown up emotionally for sometime, but financially and with the adult stuff I was never taught and have been bumbling through life, getting off by the grace of family contacts and friends… but especially this year I’ve managed to burn every bridge and people say that’s childish but aren’t I now in the perfect position to become self-reliant and learn this skill I’ve supposedly lacked for so long? I’m doing the best I can with no teacher, and a goddamn library card. ✌🏽✨

Still coming to a lot of realizations on how certain family dynamics were established, how I was parentified, and all the crap that happened behind closed doors… It’s because of those established patterns that I continue to make mistakes, but I’ve been rather accomplished despite this one last year. Thankfully I’ve closed out most relationships so I can finally invest time in myself, the time I always deserved but never gave and was conditioned to endlessly give to others. I wish my past self fought harder for my identity or do just do what I wanted… but I always already being yelled at and bullied enough in my own house, trying my best to be a ‘normal girl.’ Ya’ll kicked the living shit out of her and she’s gone okay? They wanted it like this, right? They enjoyed hurting me.

Daniel- I want to let u know that even though women with CPTSD don't have to initiate things by themselves but the reality is they also still don't go too long. Women also never succeed. Men expect women to be bubbly chubbly, fun loving, happiest person. Just like you, I also look very attractive from outside but still I want to say that a women with trauma & depression is the most unattractive women in men’s eyes. No matter how good hearted or beautiful she is. And I mean it when I say this. So the guys I have talked to left me after connecting on one call, or one meeting. And that always left me a feeling of that I am not good enough.

Too black and white for me. I am one of four and we are all different and had a different experience from our parents. It really wasn't great for me emotionally but much later as an adult I reset boundaries as to what I would and would not put up with. However, it was never in my nature to want to be the one "in charge", I prefer influence over power 😊

I think i will lose the weight and wear those clothes again, though it has been 15 years.

I find that the main issue with most relationships are people having assumptions about the other person. When the other person is not what they assumed they were or didn’t say what they wanted to hear or do what they wanted them to do, they are let down and crushed by it. Also once you know how someone is, you can’t keep getting mad at them for doing the same thing they always do; being late, etc. You have to decide if those imperfections are something that you can deal with or not. If not, then move on. You will never change a person, especially by nagging and arguing with them. However, a lot of people have addiction to drama and victim hood; therefore they get something out of continuous low frequency behavior. When someone is being a bully or mean, it’s because they are in pain mentally, physically or spiritually in some way. We are all at different spiritual levels learning. I try to send love to everyone.

This is a beautiful shirt, it really compliments you very well.

You are beautiful. However, my recommendation is to consider dressing in solid, neutral/earth tones. They will compliment your eyes and hair better, and the bright colors would not be as jarring as they are. A few suggestions, olive/dark greens, greys, black, and dark rustic browns or oranges. :) Wish you well!

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

When you get older its hard to make friends. Especially when you are an „old mom. Most people have their friends already

This is me to the T. I spend everyday wanting to get a cabin in the woods and hide out forever. I wasn't always this way. Being around people is a trigger. Fear of being made fun of. Fear of being judged. Being misunderstood. Makes me hate people. So many triggers. This is such a painful wound to heal.

My inner child downvoted this video.

Your comment about not being able to trust in your common sense...... well, when you're being gaslighted and scapegoated all the time, that might be a natural result. If you're not allowed by a parent to actually live your own life, then you'll wind up as a young adult with absolutely no support system and needing to be in a remedial class for CATCHing up, not just growing up. Damn it. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all you do! 🎉🎉🎉

Thank you 🙏🏽

You can do this Mercy. You are a beautiful soul. Keep living, heal, everything will fe fine.

They want to be CAREFREE and AUTHENTIC and not turn out bitter and burdened like a negative parent figure in their life.

Yes to all 🎁🙏🙏🙏🙏✨😇

Though I am more peaceful than the past. Integrating back with the society seems to be unethical from my point of view. It was my fault that my mannerisms drove people away and isolated me but whatever the case, I will never want to win over the same set of people. So I keep just enough contact so that I get my needs met for my creature comforts (I pretend to be extremely pleasant to get my job done of course 😁). Besides that, I do not entertain anyone in my life even if I have a choice. It definitely gets very lonely and distressing at times without anyone to talk to, but what the hell? I was put in this position by the society in the first place. So I will not go back to the crowd who did not help when I needed them the most. I have done a great deal of introspection and have valuable notes on my experiences which I know could help others. But they simply don't deserve it, those notes are going to the grave with me. I am at peace, I can perform my duties, hold down a good job and perform my tasks very efficiently, but have this seething hatred and bitterness for the society, which I have no regrets about. I don't ruminate on this, but it triggers me whenever I meet manipulative, two-faced and selfish individuals and in my experience, most are.

Just NAILING it. I needed this! Thank you for articulating this struggle the way you did.. I think you hit every nook and cranny. There is a lot of power in being able to put this into words. It instantly becomes very tangible - something I can actually put real work into. Your videos have helped put so many missing puzzle pieces together for me. Like a domino effect of lightbulb moments. Thank you!! Extra encouraging comments here, too. Wow. Just a really special video.

I just don't know how or when to start 😔

I recently met with an old college friend I've known for 20 years and he went on with so many excuses about why he jumped from one job to the next to the next and burnt so many bridges along the way. This used to be relatable and cute when we were in our 20s but we're almost 40 now and it's exhausting. I've done a lot of therapy this past year and honestly it was a pretty big aha moment to let me know that I'm changing and outgrowing this type of behavior.

I would like to sign up for your journaling classes thank you

This feels like the most aggregious type.

One friend I was close to just did that to me last month she made me cry I’m 63 years old and I’m a kind person but she basically told me everything I’ve don’t wrong in the last year , I text too much etc but her daughter passed away a year ago so in a way I understand maybe

Adulting does suck in some ways, but in others, it's great. I can ignore what my parents tell me what to do, I can drive, do what I want (within reason, of course), drink (responsibly), come and go as I please. etc. Yes, I have to pay bills, take care of my cats, and be a responsible adult, but the perks are worth it. At least I think so.

fully-expressed self 2:34 at war with the past 7:15

But what if it’s Keanu Reaves?…he is proof God is real!!!❤😇

Love your channel! Just the past 5 years I have decided that my trauma didn’t happen to me….it happened for me. I like the person that I have grown into because of my life path. I don’t call them mistakes anymore…I call them learning opportunities 😀😀😀

So much easier for women to have a big long laundry list of things they won't stand for in a partner. It's just not realistic for men. Women generally all fighting over the same guy. Guys will take the best that we can get. A lot of times this means settling for higher levels of abuse in exchange for a woman's physical beauty. But if she's fat or ugly it's easier for us to walk away. Thats just the way life is.

Thank You! 💚💖💚💖💚💖💚💖

I forgive myself and I forgive anyone who has hurt me you never know what they have gone through and I have made many mistakes in my life 55years old and finally more free you have described this perfectly…thank you Anna 🎉❤❤❤

Excellent timing for this, I'm 46 and just now learning to grow up. What really helps me is that she is able to put things in to terms in a way that I can receive hard truths and understand what she's saying, truly. I have been toiling emotionally and logistically and grappling becoming the responsible independent adult I know is in me somewhere. I wasn't able to hear the sage advice and guidance from so many over the years but this video is info I can easily receive and understand in a way that allows me to think about it and overcome some obstacles trauma has left behind. I'm in a place where I'm working on exactly getting my shit together and this video just gave me more confidence because I know how to recognize things that hold me back and learn how to navigate successfully. The daily practice has been such a god send as well. It's on me now and growing can be painful and difficult but the hard work it takes to do is absolutely worth it. Fairy has been a life saver!! Thank you CCF! ❤

As a child, I was intellectually gifted but emotionally neglected. I was able to leap frog over my peers in some areas, but was highly developmentally delayed emotionally. Now, I feel like I am catching up on the stuff my peers learned in elementary school. My delays come off to others as blanks spots (an absence of affect that should be there). Pushing sixty now, I do the Daily Practice and am getting better emotional footing, but I feel so behind I want to cry sometimes. It's hard acting like an adult when you don't feel like one.

These ones are really uncomfortable for me to watch. It's hard because I deal with really high stress and I'm super self critical, but also have a slew of new age beliefs I gathered around 18-20 years old, like "spend money like you have money, that'll attract more" "you dont need to work when you're tired, you need to take care of yourself", a lot of self-soothing, delusionally positive slogans. And there's still a part of me that believes them. I'm afraid to adopt more tough love mindsets because I feel like it'll add to my stress and anxiety, but I know that it's true.

Thank you Anna.

Great video Anna and much needed!!! Today for me was one of the days that I got my shit together!!! I went for a long walk, did some housechores, meditated and did dp twice met my cousin and played with my cat. Its like cptsd is stopping us every day to do the things that we need and want to do but life doesnt stop. Every day its a different day!!!❤❤❤

I had no idea clutter could be tied to trauma. Makes sense now. I coach myself.it's hard. I always find myself saying, but what if I need this and don't have it. Definitely tied to my childhood I think. (Needs were not met very often ).Trying to create safety nets for myself? Idk

you have been hitting the mark lately, a huge thing i have been working on this year is healing that inner child, so that my energy is no longer attracting the wrong things in life. ❤

I see it as developing a conductor with my thoughts n behaviors instead of winging it with everything. It helps if you know the tools in the first place . Going back and collecting myself as a child and all the bad situations I created with empathy and forgiveness was liberating knowing I could parent better now ❤. Progress not perfection. Your amazing thanks Anna

Stop thinking its shit first then change your words

*_To the gypsy that remains, his/her face says freedom, with a little fear. I have no fear, I have only love. And if I was a child, and a child was enough, enough for me to love, enough to love. (S)He is dancing away from you now. (S)He was just a wish. (S)He was just a wish. And his/her memory's all that's left for you now. You see your gypsy. You see your gypsy._* -S. Nicks 💞✨ Love and light and healing to all in the coming New Year. 💋❤️‍🔥

This answered the "Why" really well, but not the "How"