iGen: Narcissism and Neuroticism | Dr. Jean Twenge | EP 303

[@nishantsharma006]

I am an English teacher at a school in India. It is now a routine for me to listen to Dr. Jordan's podcasts when I drive to school every morning and back to home. These podcasts help me start so many interesting conversations with my students- 9th to 12th graders. The boys, especially, are struggling with academics. The ideas I glean from podcasts help me engage them productively. Thank you!

[@dionst.michael1482]

Your students are VERY fortunate to have you at such an important stage in their development. I wish you many rewards. Respect. God bless you my friend.

[@nishantsharma006]

@@dionst.michael1482 I humbly accept the compliment. :)

[@samuelboucher1454]

I did the same thing when I taught in Colombia!

[@joshuagoldstein8116]

Each day I receive about 20 calls from your students trying to sell me dubious products. Curiously, your students are all named "Bill," "Tom, "Jack," or "Bob."

[@domdid2156]

WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS??

[@Mimarre]

Honestly, going into college and abstaining from social media has made me feel very concerned for my peers. Nobody knows how to talk to one another, everyone hides behind their devices. It is soul sucking and uncomfortable to be in classes where nobody knows how to socialize or speak

[@pt7181]

Are u in colege now? ,Can u describe me what it is, and how did u manage to stay away from the sjw matrix? Thanks :)

[@glitchy000]

This has been the most difficult part of finding friends. I'm not very active on social media outside of connecting and inviting folks to things, but so many are afraid to engage offline. When they do, it's panic and hard to get an articulated thought. Or at best, very subdued and cautious. I'm 30 now and I was graduating high school when the original iPhone came out. We had iPod Touches before, though, and Twitter, Facebook, and KZbin culture was really starting to take off. (Even further back with myspace.) I never really wanted to engage with those things and found myself cut off from my peers. Yet I became a well-adjusted person (I'd like to think) while others stayed behind in some form of extended childhood through social media. A lot of those friends aren't friends with me anymore, our lives became too incompatible and communication outside of text was impossible. Nowadays, I try to be available on engaging on social media despite myself (I'm also building a brand for my artwork) but now people are sequestering to Discord niches that often require an invite. Which I think gets to one of the fundamental issues in society, that there isn't anywhere to BE anymore. Maybe a pub, sure, but rare is a good conversation found in a pub in my experience.

[@markstonecypher7764]

@@glitchy000 idk if you're into it, but maybe you should try a good local church with a decent younger crowd. Lots of people with some commonality but also very different personalities and probably won't be leading you into trouble like some at the pub might.

[@terry9238]

Those invite-only niches are a step backward, although they have some uses. I prefer social media like Twitter-where everybody can interact with everybody.

[@whisped8145]

I am at the point where I am better at socializing with people while being an autist. My course of life has giving me so much training on that through exposure, and ironically as an internet nerd of the early internet - I always abstained from social media as it didn't contain information, only words (just like the conversations of normal people are mostly devoid of information and could be interchanged with emotionally connoted grunts). For about ten years I helped and in part mainly ran a weekly infobooth on the market for privacy law and data security, to make people aware of these already present and even more important in the future issues. I started out still almost mute and scared of talking to anyone, but it was important enough for me, I burned enough for it, to force myself over it. Now I can give long and passionate talks with even some comedic timing at times, and would it not be for the tangents and detail obsession most people don't believe anymore that I'm an autist. They don't notice much that I'm not directly looking at them most of the time, and other issues mainly only come out when under severe stress. Issues like sensory overload stress I trained the limitations of, for which meditation helped a lot, and destressing and deep sleep works well with earplugs and blindfolds - as well as zazen-meditation - to reduce downtime. I even learned how to read faces and body language, to the point I can tell liars and even narcissists, borderliners and psychopaths early on to a point I still doubt it because I never want my hunches to be true - not just spot other obvious autists at a distance. - The initial trick I found in mimicking cartoon faces (take the very exaggerated ones in Invader Zim for example) and noticing that they gave emotional state responses, the same way that forcing yourself to smile fully (including up to the eyes/eyebrows) activates a feedback loop that does actually make you happier, that same feedback loop system works with every facial expression and every emotion. As such you can learn yourself, by yourself, what which facial expression means, by observing your own emotional changes over a short period of time of maintaining that expression; which in turn then allows you to make the causal connection and accurately interpret what you see on the other people's faces. Though I can do this, and contrary to normal people consciously instead of unconsciously like them, and thus be more aware of what is going on with them, I still do not look at them constantly, but only check occasionally throughout a conversation, as that "information/conversation-channel" is distracting me still. For a conversation I still best only concentrate on one sense: If I read the body language by looking at a person, I have trouble "hearing" that person. I still hear the words, but I have trouble also concentrating on processing those and their meaning. It's like it's on a quieter backchannel. Learning emotional connotations and other inflections in the voice, including real sarcasm, comes with that. It's like switching channels on a TV. I know the other's there, but it's not on right now. I think you need to want to learn this things, need a reason for it, and then it works. I just found it fascinating as well as beneficial. I hope Dr Peterson or one of his assistants sees this comment, and hope it can help some people, whether fellow autists, or researchers.

[@ellenod1982]

I wrote my masters thesis on Narcissism and the Media. It brought tears to my eyes to see JBP and Dr. Twenge (cited abundantly in my thesis) speaking together in this pod! Thank you both!!!

[@aristobrat4987]

i would love to read your paper , is it possible youd share it with us ? im doing research too but theres not much on this niche topic. well there is but its so surface level

[@kathrynmichaelsaudio6951]

Is it possible to read your thesis? Congrats on your degree!

[@rejvaik00]

Can you please let us read this thesis

[@kathrynmichaelsaudio6951]

@@aristobrat4987 are you familiar with Sam Vaknin?

[@leilau]

That's so cool! Is it possible to read your paper? Such an interesting topic to me and I'm looking into doing my own research on this as well

[@SaryMag]

I almost lost my marriage due to my online behavior. My husband found my secret Snapchat & literally gave me a choice, him & our marriage & family…or divorce & social media. I chose him of course, & entered couples therapy the following month. That was 2 1/2 years ago. He doesn’t have any socials but allowed KZbin for the both of us. The man I married has the most beautiful heart & never deserved the way I treated him & used social media. In that moment he asked me to choose, I remember thinking, I could never live a life where I lost my marriage & family to social media. I could never. Social media: where bad people feel good, & good people feel bad.

[@BeeKay4444]

He sounds like a patient and loving partner. You are very fortunate ❤

[@SphereMusicCafe]

I’m glad & agree on that final statement

[@lmbarnhart4898]

At least you were able to admit what you were doing wrong and fixed it. Sounds like you have a fantastic husband. Good on you! Prayers to you and your family to continue life together.

[@abigailmendoza2502]

Wow congrats on changing. Most people lie and say they've changed.

[@bmbutler2]

God bless your husband. You have a true MAN

[@bm9152]

I was brought up by a narcissistic mother, and recently worked for a man, who I luckily realised, was a narcissist. People use the phrase all too often, but s real narcissist is a dangerous person. Both these toxic people have been removed from my life, my mother is nasty to the core, vindictive, self pitying and damn right cruel. To say her actions and words have destroyed me is an understatement, but I’m working on myself continuously. I don’t get on with my older sister, because of our mother of course, but I’m now 48, had no contact with either of them for about a decade now, but her legacy to me, is low self esteem, anxiety and depression. BUT, I’m healing, I’ve healed in fact. I had an alcohol problem, been clean 14 years about, and I’ve a hell of a lot of experience in compassion. Your videos are a God send Dr Peterson, I really learn a lot from you, AND on a positive note, I share the same birthday as you!

[@soniavadnjal7553]

Every person is unique. You are unique. No one person is a repeat or copy of another. Do not measure yourself against others, or against other people's expectations of you. Have pride in yourself as an individual - self-esteem is expressed, among other things, in taking care of yourself, the way you take care of something of value. Wishing you the best.

[@rentalsnake6542]

I relate to your story a lot, and hope that you are alright at the moment and that you can cultivate some self-love. I’m trying to deal with my drug addiction and build my self-esteem up while I’m still young. can I ask what has helped you? I’m trying to get as much advice as I can.

[@ObeyNoLies]

I can relate to your experiences bm, I hope you find the strength to live your best life. I know what it's like to have people like that rob you of your self esteem.

[@zil2on298]

Wishing you all the best

[@fredrickyappysetiadi1271]

So relating, wish you all the best

[@dianealden9293]

Be home by dinner- go to local park and play on swings as 8 yr old. Take bus downtown at age 12 to see a much awaited movie. Baby sitting for spending money and making enough in a month to pay for a riding lesson. French grandma gave a thimble of wine to us kids with dinner. Dinner was not paper plates- it was next to best China and glasses and grandma made sure table was set properly. Grandma was also one to hand me a dust cloth to dust furniture. Never yelled at us but look of thunder from those fierce dark eyes did not require yelling. Grandpa was the tall blue eyed English man who took us blue berry picking and swimming in one of many Minnesota lakes. He was the funny dude who would laugh and call grandma frog when he was messing with her. Our free time was the book nook with old copies of classics and Andersens and Grimms fairy tales. Sorry - this video kicked off so many memories 80 % good ones. My dad with all his Gallic and English blood lived to be 102. He died in 2020 on Thanksgiving Day. I will never forget that square mobile face and quick quick mind. I was so blessed at times thought takes my breath away.

[@allinmybackyard3988]

Born in the 80s?

[@Ricky-Noll]

Thank you for sharing!

[@yuwannakno1269]

like a fairy tale 🐸♥️

[@la4828]

Lovely story.❤

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Hmmmm 🤔

[@Joannahartley]

Wonderful topic. I'm the Mother of 5, my oldest just turned 14, has sobbed her eyes out because none of my kids are getting a phone until the are driving, so 16. The internet is full of so much trash! I hate that school makes them do homework online...but computer doesn't go to their room. Sits right in the kitchen so I can see what is going on. And no social media! I know this makes us the odd parents, but we don't care. It's our job to protect our kids!!!

[@drewcean]

I was treated similarly as a kid. It only caused me to go behind my parents back finding newer and newer ways to access the things that were forbidden to me (phone,tv,video games stuff like that). Also,it created a lot of fear,frustration and anger. I understand you want the best for your children, but you might want to find a little bit less strict compromise solution,but this is just my opinion.

[@artsyfartsynerdywordy]

Agreed with Andras, you might be trying to do what you think is best, but having a conversation with them about the things you don’t want them looking at or participating in, may be more beneficial than just outright trying to keep them from using a computer or phone. Creating a line of communication and understanding is better than setting such strict limits. It will cause a lot of resentment from your children towards you in the long run, and they are just going to do it behind your back without telling you or asking about it out of fear of getting in trouble. Being too strict will only push your children away from you

[@joan3828]

I respect that. But maybe you can inform them and teach them about the internet and guide them. They will get on the internet at a friends house and will be lying about it. Everything you forbid to do or wat, they will be drawn to it even more I think.

[@bettyblack9258]

Great parenting ❤

[@artsyfartsynerdywordy]

@@bettyblack9258 could you explain how you think this is good parenting? Would it not be better to sit down and have a conversation with your children about the dangers of the internet, while allowing them to use it? Or you think it’s better to make them hate you because they don’t understand why they can’t do what all their friends are doing?

[@blueprince2330]

I lost my ex-wife to social media fueled narcissism. I was oblivious to what was happening to her, and how her posts and photos were changing over the years, because I don't use any social media. It provided her with a supply for her narcissism, and it spiraled downward into a 3 year affair with her boss, using social media as a backdoor to communicate. Social media killed the woman I fell in love with, and replaced her with an unrecognizable monster.

[@nomad5375]

Dude get a divorce

[@smelltheglove2038]

I had a similar experience. But it was also that she started a new job at new salon that was woke. Eventually I ended up being an awful patriarchal monster in her eyes. I wasn’t even particularly political at the time, I was only 26. I’m 39 now, our son is a teen. She’s miserable with some weakling halfman. My son and I are doing great. I bought him a .22 target rifle for his birthday coming up on dec. 6.

[@bromisovalum8417]

I've seen the rise of social media in 2007 and looking back I must say women are most affected. It's like giving opium to an addict.

[@ronnyarellano4943]

@@nomad5375 bro. Reading Comprehension. "ex-wife"

[@blueprince2330]

@@nomad5375 we divorced already. She left and took my two sons. I lost everything, because of her entitlement and lies.🤷‍♂️ Never again, I learned everything I need to know about western women. I'm done with them. I bought a motorcycle, so I ride that instead of opting for companionship.

[@breannaboswell1286]

I’m 27 and I had full access to the internet as a teenager and younger kid. Some of the stuff I looked up/saw ruined me for life. It’s not that my parents didn’t care, it’s that they didn’t know. I will definitely be monitoring my childs internet usage when it becomes time. There is some sick shit on the internet.

[@chasityawesome]

Thank you for sharing this. I learned the hard way when my 9 year old daughter saw anime porn... on KZbin.

[@breannaboswell1286]

@@chasityawesome we have completely blocked KZbin from our TV and all my daughters on access. She only gets to access Netflix and Disney+ and I’ll size settings on those to keep those shows appropriate as well. It’s so sick that they’re putting this shit on for kids to find.

[@appiusclaudias3500]

Hi Breanna, sorry to hear what happened to you - would you mind stating the category of thing you saw - was it porn / gore etc?

[@Scrattah]

Yeah, growing up with the internet assured me brain rot 😂

[@noideer4865]

So helpful. I have wondered hard and long about why the students coming into university suddenly became so needy, fragile and incapable of handling different points of view about 5 years ago. They are quite different from the 25 years worth of students I saw before them. I think you hit the nail on the head. (Anti) Social media smartphones, a virtual social life, easy access to porn, the promotion of excessive individuality all exacerbated by positive feedback loops. It's all ringing true. The sad thing is that universities have been so terrified of challenging their "customers" that they are failing them in a last chance to prepare for adult life. It's going to produce a weird society where it's ruling elites have the least emotional intelligence and the least resilience of any social group and want the real world to conform to the self constructed comfortable self reinforcing virtual world where their identity is located. Evidence based decision making though always hard to achieve will I suspect become the last thing such fragile types will want or tolerate.

[@redhead8777]

Stopped giving to the University Woke monstrosity about 5 years ago! Refuse to support it!

[@lynntrovert2471]

If you haven't read The Coddling of the American Mind, you might check it out.

[@erikataylor5629]

I watched the reality show snowflake mountain recently. I don't know how accurate this is, but most of the young people were between 25 and 30, but they were mentally probably like 13 to 16-year-olds of previous generations.

[@LittleOrla]

I met my own jealous, narcissistic self on Facebook. Ugly. I got out of there and never looked back.

[@johnconnelly5767]

❤😊

[@antonia6059]

The point about overprotecting not only being the fault of parents is important. My family and I used to live on the end of a street with no fairway. So I allowed my kids to play outside from time to time without my supervision. While I was cooking or some thing like that, however I would periodically check on them through the window. And my landlord threatened to call child protective services if she ever saw my kids playing even for a moment without me sitting out front with them. The school my children attended often threatened me for what I feel was just normal childhood things. Like having a skinned knee or not wanting to wear a jacket. A random woman at the park freaked over some kids who had climbed pretty far up a tree, she decided to call the police. I remember climbing farther up a tree than that all the time as a kid. I try my best to foster independence in my children but within the limits of the laws around me.

[@user-cu6sx9li9l]

ᴡ᷈ɪ᷈ʟ᷈ʟ᷈ ᴀ᷈ʟ᷈ꜱ᷈ᴏ᷈! ꜱ᷈ʜ᷈ᴀ᷈ʀ᷈ᴇ᷈ ɴ᷈ᴇ᷈ᴡ᷈ ꜰ᷈ɪ᷈ɴ᷈ᴅ᷈ɪ᷈ɴ᷈ɢ᷈ꜱ᷈ ᴡ᷈ɪ᷈ᴛ᷈ʜ᷈ ʏ᷈ᴏ᷈ᴜ᷈ ɪ᷈ɴ᷈ ᴀ᷈ ᴍ᷈ᴏ᷈ᴍ᷈ᴇ᷈ɴ᷈ᴛ᷈*# ʟ᷈ᴀ᷈ ᴄ᷈ᴏ᷈ɴ᷈ᴛ᷈ᴀ᷈ᴄ᷈ᴛ᷈ ᴍ᷈ᴇ᷈ ᴘ᷈ʀ᷈ɪ᷈ᴠ᷈ᴀ᷈ᴛ᷈ᴇ᷈ʟ᷈ʏ᷈✫✎ㄚ✶ᚓ║█♱₁₆₀₁₈₈₄₁₀₉₂📲█║❍✭.✧♣⍟☚❗ɴ᷈ᴏ᷈ ᴡ᷈ʜ᷈âᴛ᷈ꜱ᷈äᴘ᷈ᴘ᷈

[@dwebb1935]

Yes, when I was growing up in the eighties, living on a cul de sac meant we had full freedom to commandeer the street for a bball game or T ball or just riding your bike in non-stop circles till you ate enough gnats, or it was time to skeedaddle home for dinner. My mother often had no idea whose house I was at and would traipse from door to door asking for me, or send my poor older sister to get me. We neighborhood kids were lucky we never got abducted and ended up with our face on a milk carton or walked into a skeevy pervert neighbor's house. And then my math teacher used to tell us HE went out to play all night and didn't go home till morning and nobody ever locked their front doors, in the 1950s. Can you imagine what it would be like for a kid today to read Anne of Green Gables and try to picture babysitting for a neighbor, walking in the woods alone, or looking after a sick baby?? Or even reading the Babysitters Club books. Geez, teens today have to go out and save the world/climate if they want to be known as responsible and mature-minded (global citizen), vs the old days of saving up for a car (personal responsibility). And Jerry Seinfeld's teen car obsession sounds like a time from a parallel universe. 🤣🤣🤣

[@scottishpensioner2447]

Sounds absolutely horrible. It’s not like that in other countries.

[@trehugr4life]

Live in the country rather than the city.

[@ericchristian6710]

U ain't kidding. I grew up in the 80s and 90s with scabs on both knees and elbows outside on a bicycle and/or in pursuit of the next big bass then it was deer and turkeys then women. The last video game I played was super Nintendo and this was all absolutely by choice. I never saw what grown folks saw in playing video games and then smart phones came along and were obviously here to stay and soon to be integrated and not in the inconvenient little boxes we have to hold on to and be burdened with at the moment. We were obviously cyborgs right then.

[@sweetpeasandyarrowaranchdi8327]

We are Gen X, got married and had kids young. They are young adults now. They are so much more anxious than we ever were. We had to force them to learn to drive, etc. Another thing I'm noticing, is some mother's my age are getting tons of cosmetic procedures done. My daughter asked how are girls supposed to feel good about themselves? They are watching their mother's spend thousands of dollars to look different.

[@wes11bravo]

I definitely don't understand why so many kids are at best ambivalent about getting their license. That was all I cared about when I was 15. My daughter is turning 16 in a month and she's never expressed the slightest desire to drive. Even if she doesn't drive as much as I did at her age, I still want her to at least have the ability to legally drive just in case.

[@calebp6114]

@@wes11bravo I'm an eighteen-year-old guy, and I have not ever had a desire to learn to drive. Perhaps it is because I live in England, where driving isn't particularly necessary. I'm not sure what the cause of my generation's ambivalence is.

[@danatowne5498]

@@wes11bravo , I went through a little of this with my youngest and we bought him a bike and told him to be sure to leave for places he needed to be early. A little nudge out of the nest never hurt anyone.

[@vjoe5389]

@@wes11bravo as a Gen Zer (18 years old) I’ll tell you why I personally don’t have any interest to drive. For me, driving has been one of my greatest fears for as long as I can remember. It used to be my greatest fear, that was until 2018 when the possibility of going homeless became my greatest fear (and it continues to be my greatest fear to this day). The reason driving has been a great fear of mine comes down to 4 reasons: 1 - Car accidents remain as one of the highest causes of deaths in the U.S. 2 - I don’t trust myself to drive a car as I’m terrified of either crashing into a ditch, damaging my car, damaging someone else’s car, or accidentally killing someone or myself with a car. 3 - If I’m driving, not only do I have to rely on MY driving abilities but I also have to put trust in OTHER PEOPLES driving capabilities. Unfortunately it seems like new drivers are completely retarded compared to older generations, increasing the risk for a car accident when car accidents are already really high. 4 - Cars themselves don’t interest me. I can understand why people (generally men) geek out over cars because they are mechanically beautiful in a sense and some cars (primarily old ones) look extremely cool. Unfortunately I personally don’t care for such things as much and I only really see them as another form of transportation and not this big hot commodity. Despite these reasons, I’m going to eventually force myself to learn how to drive after I graduate because I refuse to live in a city (specifically in metropolitan cities as they are stupid expensive, it’s difficult to own a gun, the crime rate is horrible, and they’re an extremely noisy and loud place). Cities have the pleasure of having public transportation and having most things be within walking distance, but the cons heavily outweigh the pros in my opinion (if cities were safer and less expensive, I might consider living in one. Unfortunately that’s not the case). Unfortunately for me to live in a rural or suburban area, having a car is required to get anywhere. I don’t want to learn how to drive, but my conviction to living in a metropolitan city is enough motivation to make me tolerate the learning process (I also don’t want to constantly rely on others to get from one place to another as that’s just rude, inconvenient, and very burdensome). I dream of the day self driving cars become more available, but that doesn’t seem plausible for the time being. Maybe in the next decade or 2, but certainly not within this decade.

[@ohjahohfrick9837]

@@vjoe5389 Cities don't have to be that way. It is our society's addiction to cars that makes them so.

[@xkben90]

Hearing this conversation made me realize how protective I am with my 2 year old compared to how my parents were with me. I remember falling, breaking skin, getting scratches from my cousins, etc. Just yesterday, I was letting my son run around the playground on his own , and although it was unnerving to leave him be, it made me realize that this freedom you give your child is absolutely necessary, even if you’re worried they will bust their head. Parenting sure has changed since the 90s. It’s never a black and white, which keeps me on my toes.

[@pattymcmullen8551]

I encourage my grandchildren to climb trees!

[@bmbutler2]

Good for you for realizing what you were doing. Millennials, snowflakes and the flurries behind them are mostly made up of children whose parents did all of those bad things on top of drugging them up to get them to comply.

[@laurab972]

I love the the quote from JP about allowing your kids to do dangerous things carefully.If you look it up there’s a talk on it on KZbin he does. I do it with my grandkids now. It’s hard.I cringe and worry but I let them fly with my arms open ready to catch them if they fall. ❤

[@mikeexits]

I appreciated this after reading through a long thread of back and forth between strict (borderline helicopter in my opinion) parenting vs practicing some nuance and not making things black and white; in that case it was about teenagers not being allowed to use the internet (not just social media and smartphones, but even computers and online homework. This caused pushback with people (presumably young adults and/or teens) saying that parenting style only increased their drive to experience what's "forbidden" and creates trust issues between parent and child, which can do more harm and good depending on the circumstances. I took issue with both sides to varying degrees; I think disallowing social media in particular until one is 16, 18, whatever, is noble and probably for the best in the vast majority of cases, but being able to get used to finding information online and use the internet in general before your brain fully develops gives you an indispensable technological literacy at an intuitive, subconscious level. I'm someone who used the internet and computers a lot growing up and I can't even begin to explain how much it even helped me figure myself out, by connecting with the right people with good, honest intentions, and learning how to tell truth from fiction. Now to be fair, I also didn't go outside enough for a few years of my childhood, and my family doesn't exactly tend toward mental stability and groundedness, I had to learn to ground myself with the help of some close friends who are naturally good at that sort of thing by nature, helping round out my character. I got lucky finding such a good close friend-family circle in-person though; I met them in middle/high school, meanwhile my sister is out of high school and is sadly struggling to find people who are both supportive and healthily critical of her and help round out her character as well. I give her the best advice I can but I hope she gets her lucky chance encounters like I did. She at least has college but the quality of potential long-term friends on today's campuses often seem to tend towards pretty slim pickings. Our family is beyond repair (largely due to our mom unfortunately) so we all have to find our own way while also helping where/when we can. I hope my future family makes up for the sins of my forefathers and foremothers and makes it so that, even in our legacy, all the suffering was not in vain.

[@RadioPsychicAstrologyByPepper]

​@@mikeexits you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a good heart behind your ribs. I'm almost 48. I had a son who died in infancy due to premature delivery. I've had a few miscarriages too but I was torn on whether my own family of origin and toxic behavior learned from was going to affect the next generation if I kept trying. And then I got cancer and had to get a hysterectomy and that was that. Except it wasn't.. Now that I've been in much therapy and I realized my parent had so many psychological issues that she falsely convinced me was me and my shortcomings... My parents are now deceased as well as my older brother... I'm sorry sorry sorry that I never experienced motherhood and I have found a couple of neighbors in late teens to mid twenties who have taken me on as a surrogate mum and it's really done more good than I thought possible. I have even considered the possibility of being a foster parent because I have a lot of love to give and I have been a foster child so I know firsthand how awful it can be to be a child at the mercy of strangers who use the pen and gavel almost arbitrarily to draw out your fate. I'll be praying for you and your sister...

[@galejohnson8086]

I resonated with Jordan mentioning eye-rolling. I lived with a person with BPD and narcissistic traits. I came to detest the eye rolling and the word “whatever” as a one word answer to my questions. It is the embodiment of distain.

[@anthonym840]

Indeed. I think thats the weapon and tool of an MPD. They will attempt to intimidate you with the cold shoulder if they dont get their way. But its the most subtle way of doing it. As if to get a reaction out of you. Most people see it as just plain annoyance. But i think its applified to 11 with MPD.

[@marthamydear7499]

As a pediatric nurse - and the aunt of nieces/nephews in all these age groups - I found this discussion very enlightening! Thanks so much! (Made me glad I grew up when I did - no social media.)

[@HautSos]

Parents always shifted to protecting their children. Tight leash. Less experience, less decision making, less lessons, less consequences. I left home at 18, dumb, homeless. Still struggle at 26 but learning how to be independent as life goes on

[@joshuamak9930]

Damn I can imagine being homeless is quite tough sorry to hear. They say home is where the heart is though and so I hope that one day you’ll get to find the people who will be a part of that 😊

[@gaslitworldf.melissab2897]

Add political extremism to the mix. How will kids of the two parties deal with each other? Will they have "contempt" for people with conflicting views? They keep coming for each other (going for the jugular on LGBT, abortion, religion, social programs, everything that has naturally and traditionally divided the two parties). And if they don't act independent of their parents, will that animosity be amplified - perhaps to violence?

[@cognitivedisruption5375]

That’s exactly like what I did. Turned it around at 25, found Jordan Peterson about a year later. 32 now and doing fantastic. I surprisingly don’t regret having (somewhat) chosen the harder path, learned a lot.

[@DemureDarlings]

Hope you find your way, your parents were just trying to protect you from this cold world and most parents don’t know how to find a happy balance due to fear!

[@msfwhat]

Just watching the topic of rebellion and safety around the 50" mark. I'm a university student counsellor. Had a client a few weeks ago who was petrified about entering adulthood (she was 20 already). I felt empathy for her. I realised that some young people fear adulthood because they do not know real adolescence. My adolescence was: Almost all the responsibilities of being an adult, minus the rights. Today's adolescence is the exact opposite. I think this explains their fears.

[@SuperGoose42]

I'm 22 and I've been in the same position for years. I have no idea what I'm doing in life, dropped out of college during covid, was depressed for a year, and I'm just now entering the workforce at 22. Thank God my parents are patient and financially able to support me until I can figure out How To Adult

[@vanessale7293]

Delayed maturation has done a great deal of harm to our youth.

[@ktwashere5637]

its this whole thing called "adulting". What does that even mean. If you are over 18 you are an adult, that's a biological fact. Jordan is right, just get your sh&t together.

[@Smoknw]

@@ktwashere5637 you are taking a complex problem and offering a very simplified solution. you can’t face that giant with “just get your life together” thats very ignorant

[@matthewburns9409]

IF I'm still here in 30 and 40 years from now I'm almost certain to be still watching these J. Peterson videos. This guy is surely going to down as a phenomenon of our times. And though I'm a poor person and cannot claim to succeed at what he preaches for us all, I will still keep trying. Some say he's in this for fame and money but ultimately I know I enjoy listening to him and so far all of this is FREE! (Apart from paying my ISP of course! - and KZbin premium sometimes). Thank You JP. I'm but a small faceless cog in this world, but I can draw meaning from this material.

[@Rachel_1177]

Thank you for this talk with Dr. Twenge. As a parent of an iGen, I resonated with this subject. I remember back when Facebook was new, lots of my family and friends posted pictures of their lives, especially pictures of their kids. I posted a few times when my son was little, but I stopped because it seemed violating to me. Sure, he was a cute kid doing cute things, but he's also a person who was unable to consent to being put on display, and I was really just doing it for myself. Now that my son is a young adult, I think he appreciates my decision.

[@devilsoffspring5519]

Parenting with a conscience instead of just an agenda. Who'da thunk!

[@onlyallegra]

Came here thinking I would hear a talk proving I was narcissistic and was pleasantly surprised to hear another kind of talk. Nowhere else online, that I know of, has a balanced and educated analysis of topics. Feel like I could go a week absorbing everything in this talk as it covers so much ground.

[@answermelove]

I am always wishing I had time to not just listen, but study, read the books like I did in my youth. I am not the sponge I used to be at pressing in on 70 and still recovering from a terrible series of falls 11 years ago. Still learning to walk right again.

[@onlyallegra]

@@answermelove Don't know what country you are in, but in America senior citizens can take Community Colleges for free. My very first music course in college, a retired medical doctor took a course with us. Other Colleges/Universities have KZbin channels to learn from. And, some places online have free courses as well. I recommend anything you can listen to verses read, as it is easier to pick up from. There's so much available to you, that you can find something. At least you are tech savvy. Most days I feel like I would give a million dollars just to get my dad to learn how to text and check his voicemail. I still basically do all of that for him. At 72, he still doesn't know how to type or use the computer, but if it were to malfunction he can take the entire thing apart and put it make together without instruction. My father could have been an engineer if he came from a family with money, but to this day he still tinkers with and fixes almost everything but dinner. He just doesn't have the desire and patience to learn the other stuff. Once mom died, I took over for her. Your desire and willingness is a great start. At least you have that. There are so many opportunities online. I am sure you will find something. And I recommend only doing the free stuff. If I paid for something and didn't do it, it was too hard to not feel guilty and pick up again. But, if aren't paying for it - you can pick it up the next time you have time.

[@geridannels1701]

@@answermelove I am sorry to hear about your falls & learning to walk again. I'm 66 and got hooked up with Hillsdale College. I started with one class then worked my way to more classes. If you have a computer or laptop you can learn and get the best education in America for free. I donate monthly so I don't feel like a muck. I really think you would enjoy it too.

[@answermelove]

@@geridannels1701 Thank you for sharing. I have listened to some of their podcasts, but need to give Hillsdale College a closer look. I hold a double degree in English from a Catholic College, but never want to stop learning. Thanks again!

[@Helicopterpilot16]

What really inhibits progress is the digital age has pushed people away from the prospect of figuring out issues together and instead the burden is placed on all of us as singulars. Which breeds a very disconnected society that lives an active lie. Then to dare speak about these rather complex subjects isn't usually met with understanding as it often causes people to feel the emotional sting of having their understanding and sense of self under scrutiny which is usually met with a defense. I've seen it many times talking about what social media does to our emotions and understandings of self. Almost possessing people with a highly inflated sense of self as a means of false protection.

[@KEW-pd1jn]

Children get thrown in front of a video game console and told to grow up. Then parents have all the free time in the world to entertain themselves. The kids develop bonds to a game and with other online players. This teaches them who really cares. If parents don’t why would the kid, especially if they’re surrounded by other kids who feel the same way. All this occurs away from the parents, is never mentioned to the parents, and the children grow up with the parent being oblivious to the matter the whole time. This is a crucial starting point for our children, that a parent might be too ashamed to admit.

[@anthonydominguez6005]

One of the most infuriating things I witness as a father of two, and toddler and infant, is the amount of kids on screens I see at the grocery store. Just talk to your kids. Ask them questions. Set boundaries so they don't cry if you tell them no to them asking for a treat etc. Then they wonder why there is a meltdown when their social experience outside of the home is locked onto a screen in their hands

[@anitapaulus937]

Very interesting. I remember teaching my daughter at a very young age to make decisions. I remember her bursting into tears trying to spend her money for a piece of candy and she just couldn’t choose. She learned quickly. As she got older, she was involved in a sport that required lots of decision making in a split second. It really helped her in her life. She’s never been a social media person.

[@PKTraceur]

Making a bad decision and dealing with it is a part of maturity, and one I think we’ve all forgotten.

[@anitapaulus937]

@@PKTraceur so true. Only way to learn.

[@JackSndAceS]

@@anitapaulus937 wait, which sport is it?

[@anitapaulus937]

@@JackSndAceS Horse riding, English Hunter Jumper. She primarily competed in Jumper.

[@anitapaulus937]

@@proudatheist2042 I’ve had a few scary moments, but she was very well trained and quite accomplished. It’s like having a son playing Football. You have to weigh the pluses and minuses and consider what they want, fully inform them, and let them make decisions.

[@ProdigalSunTzu]

Thank you for this. I worked as a therapist first at a college and now for 7 years working with children and teens in public health. I see this overprotection and helplessness in nearly every case. I have no data but subjectively the prognosis and outcomes for a client is always better if I hear during intake that they get left home alone, can meet up eith friends and go to the park etc... For many of the more independent youth one of their main complaints ia that no one else they know ever wants to go out and do anything. For me personally I moves out at 18 and suffered being poor as shit working crappy Jobs before I went to college at 24. But when I went I was an adult and I got more out of it than the young students. Don't know if it will work for everyone but maybe a year or two after High school working, going to military or something would be beneficial. As a parent I was so happy when my 5 year old started telling me his plans for when he lives on his own a few weeks back. Now he talks about it all thw time and tells me to teach him to be a big person. Helps quiet some of my fears for him in this world but who knows... the internet hasn't got ahold of him yet

[@keithjohnston5668]

Dr.Jean Twenge is a brilliant lady and spot on..

[@matthewcerini699]

Our philosophy when raising our kids was to supervise them on how to properly and safely use a computer, use the internet, use a cell phone, interpret the news, be a consumer, etc. We explained the risks and impacts over and over until they got it. It is no different from my parents telling me not to take candy from strangers, that sticks and stones will break my bones and not to jump off of a bridge just because my friends do. And we checked up on our kids regularly - trust and verify, like our parents did with us. Parents need to be parents and the responsibility belongs to them. Parents should not rely on or expect social media company censorship to replace their vigilance. Their children's future happiness and success in society depends on it.

[@jamese8508]

I have a baby daughter and I'm watching this thinking how to parent in the social media age. Your advice sounds wise, and probably the best one can do.

[@patriciahughes4213]

@@jamese8508 check computer history occasionally. Trust. Children need to earn trust. I raised 3 Children. One has passed away due to complications of diabetes. He was a good man. One is a teacher, one a deputy sheriff. I patented my kids. That said I pushed them to stand up and be accountable. I see young parents and shake my head wondering how those children will survive as adults.

[@goodvibes-pw9xlVR]

Exactly !

[@jamese8508]

@@steven5054 I guess that's a cautionary tale if anything is.

[@olive5632]

Brilliantly said :-)

[@autumnangel3001]

So true that siblings knock out the narcissism in each other!!

[@autumnangel3001]

@Arsene Lupin III yes, good point that there are exceptions! And also that it’s not a clear issue, but nuanced. Xx

[@fjallaxd7355]

I stopped using any form of social media a couple of years ago and I'm so glad I did. I am able to almost completely avoid these kinds of social contagions and forms of mass hysteria. I also stopped just endlessly scrolling through shite like Tiktok (Never used it but for example), KZbin shorts, Twitter etc. I Only watch things now on KZbin, that are educational and that I am interested in. I try my best to avoid things that are just pure brain rot. Good Video.

[@geton411]

KZbin is social media

[@33rdframe]

This was one of the best talks I think I have ever heard between jp and a guest! This helped me so much realize my struggles with so many people online. Many people throw it in my face that "if it keeps happening to you, it's probably you not them". But I have had the creeping realization that a majority of it (besides my own flawed character) is that I am in a cesspool of narcissists.

[@kristinbeazley1286]

Excellent topic. Must get more coverage with people like yourselves. These effects are devastating and leaves no person unscathed as a consequence of forcing these kinds of technology onto our families.

[@donaldbutschek6458]

I am "that person" who is cursed --- by the ex wife and her followers and those who proclaim they "know" her. They are not my enemies and neither is my ex. She and I have been divorced for almost 25 years . We are the biological parents of two children, the first who is now 27 years old and is blessed with a beautiful, healthy, baby boy. Our second child together is our son, he is a 23 year old. Both are the best gifts any two parents could ever love. My comments are NOT to be confused as complaints. I'm not going to attack anyone. I'm looking for a life raft to assist me with the raging current and battering waves of emotional confusion associated with living with an estranged family.

[@terry9238]

I hope you’re able to interact with your now-grown kids well, regardless of any issues with your ex. And if the kids aren’t open to friendly relationships yet, just keep letting them know you love them and you’re available whenever they want to get in touch.

[@lizcutajar9352]

May God bless you for taking so much interest in the well being of our young ones .

[@Susanna75-r5h]

I remember when someone back in 2008 sent me an invite to join Facebook. I used to like it, slowly friends and family joined the platform, but after few years things started to get out of control for people ad the platform increasingly became more controlling. In 2015 I completely stopped using FB and then deleted my account. No regrets. I would never ever write something nasty to a total stranger. I’d rather ignore or remove completely just like is done in normal life, people need to go back to socialise face to face. Enough of these over controlling platforms which are changing people to become the worst of themselves.

[@nycgweed]

Yes these friends had an aweful lot to say 😊

[@nf6386]

Similar experience here, but I only cut myself loose this year after years of dwindling value from the platform. It used to be great to keep in touch with people overseas, to share photos of family and travel, but then ads and clickbait took over and privacy issues blew up: I would never post a personal photo of myself or my kids there now, can’t believe how differently I felt 10yrs ago. Thankfully I never even started on Instagram and Twitter!

[@cindyr.5521]

I deleted instagram in 2015 and fb just a few months ago…. Feels nice 😊

[@Butterflieslove2]

Same.

[@naturalie2425]

It's amazing to hear Jordan fight for and attempt to fix the issue with our youth. We all subconsciously understand there is a problem and I think getting the experts to talk to our lawmakers is extremely sensible and ever seemingly necessary.

[@chrisrios98]

I’m so happy I was raised by my grandparents. In many ways I feel I hold specific values that 24 year olds don’t hold now in days. I feel there isn’t anything wrong with their values or how they were raised, I just prefer the way I was raised. I had to be independent and was taught to do things for myself before asking for help. I also understood the importance of my actions. My grandparents weren’t strict either. I remember being able to drive to Houston at 16 to go to clubs or parties and stay with friends. They just taught me to not drink and drive, hang out with good association, don’t trust everyone, and be honest if I did end up in a situation that was dangerous. I loved having that relationship with them. I was never scared of telling them I was in trouble bc of how they would react.

[@RhinehartGirls]

I'm 43 & was raised by my grandparents too. It's a different value set for sure, but my grandparents were born in the 30s. I grew up in the 80s & 90s. My grandmother is living & independent - amazing woman. My grandfather passed away in 2004. They taught me what to look for in a spouse, how to have a good marriage & raise good kids. 19 years & 4 daughters who love spending time with their Mamaw ❤

[@saosintheyperch]

I have been typing in ‘narcissism and social media’ on KZbin for ages and it’s surprising how little this topic is discussed. Glad to finally see it! I think this topic is really interesting. Although I haven’t watched this video yet, an assumption I hold is that social media has become the ultimate arena for narcissists to dominate, the rest of the population are just following suite and are normalising narcissism asa result, which negatively impacts the social development of younger generations. My contention: delete as many of your social media accounts as possible, only use those that you have a specific and meaningful use for.

[@grasshoffers]

In the face of social credit, it is an anecdotal fact that I witnessed in the last 5 years, that a large number of kids started claiming they were gay. This kids claimed this for 3-4 years and were praised and got attention like they never received before…they were loners and isolated. No one paid them attention. They became stars in their middle schools and high schools, praised for their bravery and were spot lighted by students and staff. After the star factor died down, they quietly let people know that they were never gay. The pre-supposition that anyone is just deeply-rooted gay or trans shouldNOT be considered a priori just because a child claims themselves to have this ‘identity’. I think Peterson is on the more correct track. I am also glad that Dr. Peterson stated the reality that the majority of the supportive online community is basically people masquerading as persons who they are not and it is filled with predators and despicable people. There is very little ‘safe’ space on the internet.

[@MephiticMiasma]

I don't think there ever was. When I first got on it, you learned real fast to never give out real life information unless/until you got to know someone, and even then you were careful about giving out anything really identifying. Then they started "social media" and everyone gave out their most intimate details to everyone as if it were normal. No thanks.

[@apostatejim2080]

Yeah, our local school district reported a 25% increase in students claiming "identity" changes. Mostly for the attention.

[@friarnewborg9213]

Yup. This is so sick, and needs to be acknowledged

[@saraz9017]

Exactly correct

[@jamiemohan2049]

Eh ...it is more girls who claim to be gay or trans when they are not. I've never met a gay guy who lied about being gay for attention.

[@thepostoffice44]

I think playing sports is a good way for kids / teens to learn to handle disappointment. Sometimes you win / succeed and sometimes you lose / fail. Learning to cope with it, throughout sports match / training is a good way to learn that in real life there arent shortcuts for winning. Online you can switch to easy mode, auto balance , or buy a patch or perks if things are getting tough.

[@dcoughla681]

This depends. When parents & grandparents are spectators, they are more competitive than the kids! The parents will complain to the coach that their kid is getting enough attention etc.

[@thepostoffice44]

@@dcoughla681 True for sure, depending also which kinda sports is also a big factor I think. And the kid should enjoy the kind of sport ofcourse, If it still doesn't after a year, it's probably best to try something else. There are so many, you could switch-over from team sport like rugby to one on one tennis, badminton. Some sports are focused on hand coordination some more on feet coordination. Indoors or outdoors.

[@KeepTalkingRomania]

nowadays everyone MUST be a winner so there are no loosers and therefore no stake in sport, therefore today you can see a bunch of weak men and women masquareding to play sports...

[@thepostoffice44]

@@KeepTalkingRomania That sounds awful, supporting is about you WANT someone to succeed. Giving encouragement to someone . But it shouldn't be a MUST. But that's my viewpoint

[@BackyardButcher]

💯💯

[@brentharrington9235]

i was having a conversation with a fellow parent the other day, and they mentioned how schools are like prisons now and have all these rules to control the kids. I pointed out that we had all the same exact rules 20 years ago, we just ignored them, did what we wanted, and accepted the consequences of flouting said rules. As a parent I want my kids to be polite, understand acceptable social norms and to show good decision making skills...but I also want them to think for themselves, make mistakes and get themselves into hairy situations. You learn and grow from struggle and mistakes. I don't want to deprive my kids the privilage of making mistakes while still in a relatively safe environment.

[@MyouKyuubi]

You can, in fact, just teach your kids what is acceptable, teach them common sense, and critical thinking... And then leave them to make their own choices, rather than demand their obedience all the time. Instead of teaching them what rules to follow, explain WHY the rules exist, and let them make their own choices, etc.

[@AB-pr4uc]

@@MyouKyuubi wishful thinking. Do that, talk like this and act like that. Like as if parents get an A-Z parenting handbook let alone follow it? Come on now. Parents these days are more careless with kids than ever. Narcissism is gonna become a lot more common

[@brentharrington9235]

@@MyouKyuubi I certainly agree 80%. However, some choices can be terminal. You can teach your kids why you look both ways at the road, you can teach them what happens if you get hit by a car...but at the end of the day kids are still idiots, so you hold there hand as you go through a crosswalk until they can prove they know what to do. (though I am sure this is not what you are referring too, and I may be going beyond your initial point.)

[@brentharrington9235]

@@AB-pr4uc I think it would be fair to say SOME parents or MORE parents these days are careless with their kids. I know plenty of dutiful and mindful. We shouldn't make blanket comments that detract from people who are doing well and trying to make things better in the face of all the problems.

[@MyouKyuubi]

@@AB-pr4uc I was talking about allowing children to develope independence, but okay, lol.

[@biancax5431]

Never surprised at the amount taken from JP’s talks, however she was fabulous to listen to also. Very articulate conversation to listen along to.

[@thegreenphantom4304]

I never thought I'd say this but, Thank God I'm old! Glad I didn't have to deal with all this. What a nightmare!

[@philipc7273]

Thank you Dr. Peterson for all of these great conversations! Hats off to you, sir.

[@katarinahinsey3931]

Very useful and insightful discussion for our times. It’s hard for us parents who want to add discipline or tough love back in to parenting because other parents are super spoiling their kids.

[@chelebeaqueen]

here here! the whole gender thing 'stuck in the wrong body' and all the horrors down that path of affirmation is really as a result of extreme indulgence. the ultimate child spoiling! plus, our culture, for the most part, is devoid of any real Rites of Passage -- i was just talking with my husb' about this this morning : you're a child through and through until one day you realize you grew up. i was born in 1974 and even in my generation i felt awhile ago we had been duped! all noble efforts are done 'for the children', which is an easy sell. in my 30s i realized there are no actual children receiving the windfalls; the pitch is for the IDEAL and the abstract. without the concrete signals in events marking the shift from childhood to adulthood, we lose sight of the perks of both. i keep telling my son (10yo) that the reason why we keep going over the same things, making the same points, correcting the same mistakes is because as a child one needs a lot of practice doing the right thing so that by the time one reaches adulthood one has the confidence to step out into the world with a secure footing and faith, proven by trial and error and repetition, that certain actions bring certain reactions. so much confusion convolutes even the most evident situations! i am grateful for being raised when i was, and even then things were already starting to slip...

[@stellabella6839]

About 16:15 she talks about not seeing the facial expressions when you speak caustically online, same holds true for the young children during the plandemic having to try to navigate the interactions in person. 😢

[@ryanm8965]

Happy to see this is being discussed. I conducted a thought experiment on FB a few years ago. When it was one of my FB “friends’” birthday, and I sent them a private msg wishing them a Happy Birthday, I almost never got a response. However if I sent a generic Happy Birthday on their public page, I would virtually always get a response. At the very least a like. As long as it was viewable to everyone. You can draw your own conclusions from this….

[@uhhwhateverdude9463]

I always hated the “bday” Facebook crap. It was always so fake. The people that see you on the daily in person are the actual people that care about you.

[@anastesia8455]

I did the very same thing and vice versa. I put in a fake birthday date (never put your real birthdate online or telll randoms this date, as its used as security question, to prevent fraud), And i got a couple private replies, one from an xhusbands mum, who hadny noticed it to be incorrect and Only ONE person correctly noticed it was the wrong month! Its all about the " Scene to be Seen". They feel compelled to be in the scene to be seen. Its all shallow bs. I joined Fb originally to find out info on a famous Well acomplished Musician through a group that connected fans (fan made group, nit muscian made at all), the Fb Group was a place for garnering info, discussing THE music,it was nice enough, and was a cool go to place as the musician didnt have a proper fan club site at the time. Then using my curious mind looked at what all this usual fb thing is about, this is 2008. I didnt relate to alot of it.. i wasn't raised doing slides of my holiday to my neighbours for example so even putting up my holiday snaps was lost on me. I tried to put pics up of some nights out, to share them with the people in the photos so they could see them and easily make copies. I was astounded that other people (not on that night out) would "comment", I was a bit taken aback, and then "learnt" that it was the "done thing" to do. So it tried to recuprocate but It felt wierd, it felt like i was putting my nose in, as after all i was making comments about peoples nughts out when i wasnt there!. I lasted not very long in doing this. It wasnt me. I really just didnt get it. Offering congratulations when people wrote about their news of a new baby or marriage or new job, i was fine with that felt normal, but not to people i didnt know well and due to the group there were people adding me as a "friend" from other parts of the qorld.. they became online friends oof course but i dint feel i really KNEW them! However i did get drawn in to political discussions and such, and after a while i soon realised that most peoeple use that platform to antagonise or cause any kind of mayhem. I concluded none of it is real. And there was something not quite "right" with some of the people in these platforms.. (at this time i was watching new musicians on you tube,just trying to out their music out there as like had been done on "My space".) I was so appaulled. Eventually i went back to my group that disussed music and linked with some events advertised. And even tried to interact with some spiritual type groups but found it all over santimonious and afain, bickering and whiney and negative, yep even in some spiritual groups! I concluded that peeple of GEN X/Millenial (of whichh I am) who love the whole social media set up do so because it filled a void in their life, they have a lack of something. And for those of us it just anatagonises and bore us, Well its a chore, because they (me) have enough going on in real life. Obvs if you have a business and you need to promote your business, its another a corner of the web to advertise, another "pub " to put up a poster.. and that in a nutshell is why the things, fb twitter insta, were invented in the first place.. money. So for business Its a money making media programme! That is all. For others it's now seems to be a drug! And Its a very unhealthy amd corruptive drug, it is far from Medicine.

[@jercasgav]

A lot of the pathology of our modern society you could see coming from a mile away, and you can mitigate much of it by making different choices. I am 37 yrs old now , but when I was in my early 20s the pressure was very much to continue acting immature well into the mid 20s. I thought this was ridiculous, so I ignored the pressure and acted like an adult and grew up. Now I am the mother of a 12yr old son and have been married for 15yrs. We home school our son, I am primarily a stay at home mom, and our son goes out and plays with the neighborhood kiddos "until the lights come on". We have taught him to be capable and to think for himself. He is doing well and lives a similar childhood to the one we had with more freedom. You have to set intentions and seek out environments that are conducive to the goals you have. It is totally possible to give kids a 1950s style childhood even today.

[@quantumpotential7639]

Wow. 15 years has to be a record of some sort. You deserve a plaque to celebrate and credentialize this particular achievment. I knew a guy who was married for 6.25 years and I thought that was a LOT. You're like double that. 💪

[@JDH_MUSIC]

Some people have so many followers that they get thousands of likes no matter what they say. This is problematic because then they think everything they say is good and valuable and they never self-reflect, learn or grow.

[@susanawright7757]

Then there's me that do ministry online and fb has restricted my account so no one sees my posts.

[@WildTrek]

@@susanawright7757to be fair, I see a lot of “ministry” comments online that are just spam. Completely unrelated to the topic, just copy and paste. This has the opposite effect. I hope you are finding a way to work it in to the conversation instead of just butting in with something random like a crazy homeless person on the street would do.

[@raeannaroylance5401]

This man has a beautiful mind and heart.

[@angela.gilmartin]

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this discussion. For me this was an online educational lecture. Completely absorbed by the information because I am learning something truly helpful and it is answering a lot of the questions I have had for a long time as a Gen X. I left lecturing at higher and further education as I became completely baffled by the wokeism and lack of actual teaching. I found myself offering more time to social care rather than educating my students. I love helping people but became really concerned around the majority of students having a complete lack of resilience, ability to deal with feedback and constructive criticism. It became about treading on eggshells and wondering who was going to meltdown next. That was deeply concerning as I was there to help them build their resilience, confidence and ability to function in todays society and educating people is how you do that. Personally I have had the unfortunate experience of dealing with narcissism especially with women, neurotic and self obsessed. The correlation between social media, the data speaks for itself. Thank you for a brilliant, well informed discussion.

[@LeahBrooksJeremiahGardens]

Social media has contributed to why young adults are more careful. Their mistakes live on for years. Any faux pax can be quickly shared throughout the whole community. My kids text me a lot to ask for advice and I recognize that sometimes that is healthy and sometimes it's not. It is tricky to balance encouraging them to trust themselves and accept risk vs. encouraging them to carefully consider their actions.

[@cirelo1896]

I see how bizarre it is in my spouse's family because the kid's were so over protected they never matured and still rely on the parents to tell them how to make simple adult decisions. These are "kids" working towards their 40s with kids of their own now. Their chronic anxiety is palpable when you are around them!

[@Behrnahrd]

What is being ignored here is economics. One of the reasons people are not leaving their parent's home/protection are the bubbles that were pumped in the housing market and in education.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

I really don't think a young person thinks about that!!

[@kelitalive]

I got my learners driving permit at 14. Moved across the country at 18. I couldn’t wait to be independent. Times have changed.

[@jamesdevine9009]

Remember the wonderful liberating feeling of being able to go out and drive on your own! Turns out that’s actually a good thing, you get to go out and have YOUR adventure. Different (and frankly better) times indeed. May we return to such a reality.

[@the_mrs]

I know a couple of teenagers who don’t even know how to ride a bike. And then there’s another 8 year old whose mother posts at least a dozen times a day, all with pictures and updates of her “special, beautiful daughter” doing things like eating lunch, petting the dog, her outfit for the day. It all makes me want to scream. I can’t imagine life for these poor kids as they become adults, coddled and revered in every way imaginable.

[@snapperhead709]

Have you told this mother how you feel? No?

[@ap3008]

Parental views and societal shifts are to blame for this. You can't blame the teenagers. I was lucky enough to have an uncle to teach me how to ride a bike and swim...my parents bought that bike, but they haven't tought me these things. And yes, I have the same view as you about posting about children every day of their life...but...everyone choses for himself.

[@racs9606]

Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be fine. Just concentrate on your own flaws and where you need to improve.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

@@snapperhead709 Where would she even start?

[@mjb6446]

I've been off of Facebook for two years now. Best thing I ever did.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Thankfully, I got rid of Fakebook years ago.

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

Thank youfor bringing this guest on, Dr Peterson. This is probably one of your most important interviews that we need in today's day and age. The rise of psychopathy and narcissism are on levels that are just unfathomable. Empathic compassionate care is a minority where people look at you with raised eyebrows, and dropped jaws. Tgen add the behavioral phenonmenon of group thinking, AND the enabling of deplorable Behavior, .... we have a cocktail for human destruction on mass levels. Then to witness the utter brokeness and devastation of targeted victims that are left in tbe waje of these narcissistic psychopathic frenzies are nothing less than heartbreaking, abd repulsive how Society continues to enable the predator, and not support the victim. What's worse, there are very little resources in victim services after surviving this crushing evisceration. Lastly... We can't trade safety as in less drinking or doing drugs, because we know the drug epidemic is clearly evident, as is the suicide, domestic violence, and depression rates. But moreover, the amounts of online stalking, that turns into in-person stalking, and eventual murder is alarming.

[@leestone8147]

If I could pick a table of people to have discussions with two of them would be these two. Love u both❤ amazing talk!

[@fundamentalconvolution1749]

Ultimately, by my estimations, the prevalence of online/digital interactions and the resulting lack of face to face interactions has lead to a rather dehumanizing element to social interaction which only reinforces the anti-social/isolative mentality that I've seen becoming more and more common. Part of my concern is how much that reinforces a sociopathic personality where they are the only "person" they know and everyone else is just a name on the screen... Something there for their convenience and not worth any more consideration than their current moods and needs...

[@fundamentalconvolution1749]

When it comes to the driving increase in negative behavior, something I've realized is that the emotional mind had no concept of morality, right, or wrong. Morality is a conscious construct, not an emotional one. The emotional mind focuses on stimulation and interaction, and negative behaviors are innately more stimulating and tend to be self-reinforcing (ie remembering something that angered you tends to make you angry, where remembering something that brought you joy tends to make you long for that moment more than re-experience it). So the more experience someone has with negative behavior, the easier it is to fall into a habit of looking for those negative interactions as they're far more stimulating than more benign interactions. Depression operates much in the same way as physical hunger in that we become accustomed to a certain level of stimulation. In the given example of hunger, if we are used to ingesting 2000 calories a day, and one day we suddenly only get 1500, we feel hunger, this empty feeling in our stomach as our body reminds us there should be more. The emotional mind works in the same way, but instead of a rumble in our stomachs, we feel an emotional sense of emptiness and loss that we tend to identify as depression. This is also a major contributor in people remaining in abusive relationships even when they're miserable... It's a dynamic that, while helped explain a lot of behavior that I've seen, has left me rather frustrated in how to approach it. Much like a diet, trying to remove yourself from a negative, yet stimulating, cycle tends to leave you anxious and depressed due to the sudden lack of expected stimulation.

[@nycgweed]

I think it started with television and advertising/propaganda

[@fundamentalconvolution1749]

@@nycgweed As a premise I would agree, but technology has really weaponized those technologies with social media. When creating Facebook, it was flat out admitted that it was designed to be addictive, and that addiction became a blueprint for the other major social media outlets over time. Now that we have young people spending more time on those apps than they do anything else, the reactionary element to them actually hijacks the brain and over time will cause malformations similar to what can be seen in drug addicts... This is because attention dictates blood flow, blow flow brings growth, and growth equals development. Our brains are still developing until our mid to late twenties, and the Pre-Frontal Cortex, our logical centers are the last things to fully develop. Spending so much time on social media and other digital mediums heavily reinforces the reactionary areas of the brain (Amygdala being the primary one here). So, at a point where the brain should be prioritizing development of the PFC, their activities are hard-lining that attention and nutrition to the emotional/reactionary areas of the brain. This is why you see people with such limited emotional control and why logical debates keep taking a back seat to emotional arguments. In a well balanced mind, the PFC should grow and develop to the point where remains dominant (at least for the most part) and helps keep the emotional mind in check. As seen in long term alcoholics and addicts of various drugs, the PFC doesn't develop to the point of being able to do that, hence their impulse control and lack of focus. (Sorry for the novel-length response, it all tends to tie together, which can make concise answers more difficult lol). Have a good day.

[@mireiacastello7041]

A lot of talk about narcissism confuses narcissistic behaviour with narcissism. Anyone can behave in a narcissistic fashion without being a narcissist. Narcissists have no emotional empathy. I recommend a youtuber called HG Tudor on narcissism! I learned so much from him.

[@martinburrows6844]

@@swerremdjee2769 narcissists fake empathy, they use it to manipulate. A psychopath just doesn't give a fk.

[@dianebrisson5949]

it is always so refreshing to see the genuine and almost naive way Dr JP expreses his thoughts. it is so pure.His level of intelligence is so comforting. Dr Twenge feels more careful about sharing. She must have her reasons. Very interesting and enriching conversation . thank you so much both of you.

[@orpheusness2422]

Something me and my wife have noticed with our friends over the years. People who’s parents divorced while they were quite young seem much more active and needy on social media

[@tnmtnmorning1178]

Great discussion! So important and relevant to these troublesome times.

[@dragonhex3832]

So, I'm the youngest of four. My sisters are in their late 30s almost 40, my brother is 30, and I'm 23. My sisters and to some degree my brother were very adventurous, but I was always a careful person. I didn't want to learn to drive, I never snuck out or got into a lot of trouble, I don't even like the taste of alcohol. I really resonate with what she is saying here, I am mature but I have a hard time making decisions without asking my parents. The fear of making the wrong decision is paralyzing. I ask my parents a question once or twice every to weeks.

[@christianbridge80]

You're lucky your parents are there to help you. It shows you their support. You are also aware that this is an issue so try to suffer a bit. That builds your character and confidence but I think you already know that. You also change a lot in your thirties, especially if you finished studying and been in a career which satisfies you and have kids. I was adventurous and I was constantly asking parents for help when I really messed up, wreckersless gambling on 2 occasions ( 2 times was enough to kick that craze), or when I had relationship troubles. Once I was out of that 5 year relationship at 28, then I had learned a lot with suffering about what I didn't want, my weakness as well as boundaries. I also stopped leaning on my parents. As soon as I did that, I truly became a man and felt comfortable with myself. I also didn't like the people in the world. All I can say, that in terms of people of people my own age at any time, most people are like red wine and I am far better at spotting both positive and negative character in people, so I have better people surrounding me. It takes time but you go on your adventures, both good and bad and listen to what makes you feel uncomfortable and speak your mind, learn about you weaknesses and try to know the hearts and souls of people, which takes time, you will be fine. So learn to swim and enjoy it.

[@meidellsqueendom]

Your frontal lobe is not fully developed untill you are around 25 years old. Give yourself a break. You are doing good 🙏

[@antonyliberopoulos933]

This conversation helped me to give some sense to the many questions that I had concerning fb in particular. Thank you.

[@vancamerawoman7399]

I’m loving that my news source is your interviews Jordan. I enjoy listening to you and your guests daily. Thank you for being you 😊

[@ThaiRoundhouse]

Thank you for keeping these interviews free on KZbin!

[@regiz5358]

Great talk! Thanks! My daughter doesn’t or is allowed to take her phone to the bedroom. She has an alarm clock.

[@vaquera9368]

Great job. Keep it up.

[@lenkabosma5629]

I am so glad to hear a discussion on issues I have been dealing with over that last 10 or more years. I am a mother of 6 children, ranging from 4 to 24. I am also an immigrant and have seen and had to think about and battle many issues you have identified. I believe I could add even more. This discussion makes me feel very accomplished on many levels. Strange, but true.

[@haileydaisy76]

Great conversation. I hope you are able to pull together a larger group of professionals that are concerned with the online platforms and their impact on society. I would like to thank you both for your dedication and compassion. God Bless you both

[@victoriapierce4062]

Thank you for helping me understand what is happening to many of the teenagers in this generation. My 18 year old daughter is unrecognizable to me. She has always been a wonderful child, sweet, kind,smart , talented , always did well , had good grades, and always did her homework without being told. She was an only child to a 43 year old mom. I had always tried to make sure she had everything she needed and all the things I didn’t have. But now I have an 18 year old that was put on medication against my will, a child spiraling out of control mentally and emotionally and I am told that I have no say in any of these decisions, she is an adult at 16 !! Even though she has refused to learn to drive, get a job and won’t even clean up after herself. I never would have believed how much disdain she has for me. I should have given her more responsibility when she was growing up but she seemed to have a wonderful attitude and so much talent I just believed she was doing well. In ninth grade she left Catholic school and went to a public Vocational school and it’s been a total mental spiral down ever since. Starting with not wanting to be catholic to , thinking she’s now gay , to being angry with me 24 / 7. I also should mention the fact that after 25 years of marriage in may of 2020 my husband left me a note saying that he wasn’t happy and wanted a divorce. He has been enabling this medication and treatment by his personal physician and I have been cut out of any of the information and decisions for her treatments. Which I believe fueled a lot of resentment towards me by my daughter, even though for the past two years she was very much trying to get us to reconnect. I feel totally alone , and very fearful of my future as well as my daughters , but I refuse to give up or leave my child and home of 27 years. I have a lot on my plate and I’m 62 years old. My faith is strong and I believe that gives me the strength to persevere.I’ve worked hard my whole life and now my body is starting to run out of steam and the aches and pains are starting to make it hard to keep up. I live on a small farm in the country and love the connection to nature , I Also hold a full time job. if you have any suggestions please feel free to give me advice.Please pray for me and my family. I no longer watch any news or TV . My information comes from Mr. Peterson, Prager U , Epoch time s , and their documentaries.yI have really enjoyed the truthfulness and understanding of these informative sites!!!!! It’s been a great help to navigating this very difficult and complex changes our world is experiencing with big technology that has no law or regulations. I only see the damage that’s resulting from all unregulated cancellation of truthful information and mass indoctrination of negativity!!! Yes it’s wonderful to have access to a world of information but not if it’s being censored and manipulated by a few bad people who do not have the best interests of society in mind. I’m so thankful you are forming the ARC it gives me hope!

[@righteouswhippingstick]

i love epoch times but i have a thought to share. Our leaders seem to have an agenda to maintain the dominent position of a superpower which includes bringing russia down. You probably can see that. The influence over americans to support the war and to villinize putin with very constant biased information. During this propaganda for support from the population, there has been so much of the same thing that creates fear regarding China. Many of the fears they are creating seem over blown. Considering the u.s. history of meddling in other cou tries and the super aggressive and violent means used, it is natural for a country with the money and tech ability to feel the need to advance militarily and in any way that will secure your country from being controlled and financially brought down. How many wars has china started in the last 2000 years? Its close to zero!! The epoch times seems to have its main goal set on making china seem like a horrible country that is actively trying to bring down the u.s. I am sure they are in competition with the u.s. and do everything they can to compete. I am sure the u.s. does the same if not to a higher degree. My point is that almost every source of info has a strong bias in some direction and if you have too much trust and faith in only a couple sources, you will have a limjted bias view as well. Truth may be that there is nearly no one group of people that isnt riddled with corruption or not themselves being manipulated or controlled. Jordan Peterson is so fucking awesome i literally have cried many many times listening to him. I think that says more about how terrible it is to be lied to and manipulated by people in control, it is so good to see someone with the virtue and morals that actually CARES. I am sorry to bear about your situation. You are not at all unique in your situation. The trend in society, school, culture, is causing this to happen to so so many people, it is hard to believe but its true. So many kids have animosity for parents that are great loving parents. Its crazy and amazingly overwhelmingly difficult. I have one daughter that wont take my calls and is sided with the cheating parent that took her from me. Its been years now without speaking and shes only 15.... Her gparents on my side both have passed in that time. I dont know what else to say with my thumbs typing on a phone. I wont say it will all work out because who knows. Sometimes you have to to some degree move forward with your life and forgive yourself for doing so. Yeah, you make efforts to bridge things back again, obviously, but you cant live for that hope alone. That doesnt help anything you want that way and it sucks your health away and you just spend time dying. easier all said then done... i am no good example of how to do that but over the years ive learned that i am right about it. Anyway you can love yourself and find things you enjoy and anyone tbat will actually listen to you is so important. find that and treat them good no matter what kind of relationship and find stuff you like to talk about positively. good stuff. not just pity stuff, ya know what i mean. alright. my heart goes out to you

[@MatheusLima-dd4mm]

mind-blowing chat. thank you both for all those perspectives

[@1988TheHitman]

This is a real eye opener, as a parent of 3 those statistics on self harm were very upsetting. Christ is at the centre of our home and life, the bible is our foundation and so far the Lord has blessed us with a stable home and happy marriage. Always enjoyed JP’s content and glad he had this very insightful lady on who has been so helpful so THANK YOU

[@briananderson1246]

Blessings to this house 🙏🏻 💔... if you love me pray for those that persecute you. If you love me do what is beautiful to those that take you by force. Truly I say, He who does not pick up his cross and deny himeself daily is not worthy of me, And do unto others as you would have them do unto you, I tell you the truth, what you do to the least of these you do unto me. - All fullness of deity ~ 🔥🕊 Yeshua 💞🔥

[@chelebeaqueen]

hi! with Christ at your center, your family will fair the storm better : it has come to my attention that being involved with the church from ever since i can remember is the primary reason why i haven't completely lost my marbles! recently i pulled my son (10yo) from the public school system for a few reasons, mostly due to the overall slowly implemented attempt to replace the authority of family and parents with that of the school and faculty in the child's life. we are currently in the process of enrolling him in a classical Christian academy [*Nota Bene! : the cost of a private school for K-12 will be well spent since the university tract is obsolete, in my opinion -- trade / vocational schools is where it's at!]... in the student/parent handbook, they clearly state that the world we live in -- the wider scope of Western civ -- can only be firmly understood by looking through the lens of Christian tradition. this is so important! our society was built on Christian-based principles. in order to excel in it, one has to know how and why it works so one can quickly assess a situation, consider the options, and make a choice of action. when you get stuck in the vicious cycle of constant analyais and re-analysis of 'anything is possible', you easily get hemmed up in the details to the point of paralysis. what a terrible state to be in! God bless you and yours! nice to have an opportunity to share some thoughts here on your comment. 😊

[@NateHaselton]

With all of the evil in the world working overtime, it's comforting to remember that God wins.

[@shanenichols9092]

The section on self harm was exactly describing my daughter at age 13/14 in the timeframe they were speaking of. I was woefully ignorant of what the internet was doing to her. The Lord pulled us out of that and she is doing much better now.

[@1988TheHitman]

@@shanenichols9092 Thank the Lord 🙏🏼 The one thing in life that brings true stability and peace is the ‘Prince of Peace’ Himself (Isaiah 9 vs 6) God bless you and your family 🙏🏼

[@idonthaveahandle2000]

When you come to think of it, social media divides genuine connection. Since I have stopped using Facebook, no one has reached out, the connections between us were artificially created by the newsfeed. I gave all of my closest Facebook friends my number and I have not heard a peep from them. Focus on yourself and focus on real life connections!

[@loismiller2830]

I find it horrifying to hear social media characterized as "mandatory". As parents, it is possible for us to abstain from social media and ask the same of our kids. They don't need smart phones to live. I know a handful of young people who are not on social media. They meet up "IRL", go outside to do group activities and don't take pictures of themselves every 5 minutes. Most of them were home schooled and now have college degrees and meaningful work. It is possible to opt out. Patents need to be strong and find other avenues for their kids to socialize. It's not easy, but it is well worth it to allow your kids to escape the hell that is social media.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Yes all my friends are raising their kids that way. None of them have any reason to be on a computer yet, many are home schooled. Obviously the time will come that they want access to that stuff but in the mean time a solid foundation of living in the real world and paying attention to nature and such will be instilled.

[@central_scrutinizr]

Exactly! If so many of us see the obvious horrors of allowing our children to use social media, but we don’t want our child to be “the only one” not using them because “everyone else does”, why don’t we just realize that “everyone” is US, and collectively take a stand against it?

[@user-sx7wt6lw2c]

You are using social media right now! I, a stranger from the internet, am commenting on something you posted publicly to the entire world. If you want to abstain from or oppose social media, you will have to delete your KZbin account.

[@ARM971]

I would agree that abstinence from social media and video games is possible though not easy. We're not homeschoolers however with our three teens we play team sports and delay the age of a fully functioning phone. Instilling a strong work ethic around the house is important too if you actually want them to leave the home someday.

[@lindamacgregor8039]

I kept wondering why they were using that word. My teenage grand daughters don't have social media accounts. They are very active young girls and participate in many school clubs and teams as well as taking responsible roles in their family i.e. doing a share of the daily chores. I've never heard of 'mandatory' social media accounts. The eldest has parlayed her 'chores' - helping with the cooking of meals - into a small bakery business. She's found she loves to bake. As well, she plays multiple musical instruments: piano, guitar, flute, tenor sax, bagpipes, drums, and is part of a pipe band and school band. She's 15. Her younger sister is also very musical and plays piano and flute. She is an artist and has won several awards for her designs. There is a world out there and it is an exciting one!

[@patriciarodzewich-vk8ck]

I loved and feel so fortunate to have been in my teens in the late 60’s and 1970’s. Life is so different now.

[@JNRoman53]

I also was raised in the 60-70s . I just turned 70 . We lived in a wonderful time to grow up. We were blessed. 🙂

[@sherriflemming3218]

It was a great period of time. We were fortunate!

[@alandestephano7606]

Spot on peterson... feedback loops that have gotten out of control. That is so good and really explains what's going on in people's minds. For someone that's powerless in every other regard, these feedback loops are supremely satisfying.

[@GhostPrefix]

Dr Twenge has some excellent, layered insights. Adding some much need nuance to current developments in culture.Enjoyable discussion regarding the interference in kids development, individualism and maturation. Our technology is rolled out without any deep thought regarding its short and long term effects and feedback loops.

[@Juimimi]

Extremely insightful episode. Really enjoyed it. Thanks to Dr. Twenge, Dr. Peterson and the Daily Wire for bringing us such a good segment for free.

[@miranda4583]

As an older gen z it seems like many of my peers (and I have been there too) are paralyzed by the thought of harming other people more than being harmed ourselves - emotionally, physically or otherwise. It's less about our own safety and more about not causing harm to the larger world by exposing it to our incompetence -- social incompetence, driving incompetence, failure in other new responsibilities. It is one thing to fail a test, another entirely to cause a car accident.The feeling is that perhaps it is better that we not do anything than risk making things worse for others or for the world.

[@BottlegardenUK]

You don’t fix this by being inactive, you get competent as quickly as possible. You will make mistakes, you’re likely to hurt someone along the way. Try not to make it terminal, apologise when necessary and learn lessons. Minimising the risk by being vigilant and open to constructive feedback is way better than being frozen in fear.

[@wes11bravo]

Try to push through your hesitancy. You don't get good at difficult things in any way other than trying to do them, f**king up, learning from your mistakes, then trying again. Don't worry - you're going to be ahhite.

[@ap3008]

I completely agree with you on this feeling. I am a millenial. In hindsight, this fear could have been prevented if we learned skills very well by a young age, but, at least for me, I wasn't thought that many skills by my parents and I was called lazy all the time...I personally think these fears (that I am trying to overcome btw) were caused by an overly coddling parenting, not being taught skills and the fact that I was objectified as a child and not seen as a distinct person who will need to learn to act independently. I will try to be better for my future children.

[@ap3008]

@@BottlegardenUK All of you who view this from outside perspective are missing the point - the cause why he is like he is... He wasn't given the basis for independence. He needed to have this person who are saying the things you are saying, repeatedly, and from a young age.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

That's a really interesting description for what is going on. I avoided learning to drive till I was 40 so I kinda get it! As a 16 year old in the mid 90s I might have been less respectful of the death machine I was operating. Now I am very aware. Hopefully that makes me a more careful driver. The time comes where your life is too crippled if you don't darn well try shit. Point it! as my skier friends say.

[@graphicallygifted4524]

Thank you Jeff Daniels. But really... fantastic discussion. Thankful my kids are so young, I have time to consciously encourage self-reliance, exploration, bravery and compassion.

[@laurirhymer1180]

Hello I am Lauri Rhymer. I so appreciate your conversations. I am simply, an RN & Ayurvedic Practitioner, who was born with the word of God deeply seated in my heart. When the external world begins to deviate from one of the Commandments, I am commanded internally. I wonder why anyone thinks it right to rewrite the Commandments. I begin to withdraw and listen to what is deeper inside of me. I have no education and I do appreciate those who have that opportunity. I learn from you and your wonderful guest, radiating beauty from inside out, for all of us. I learn how the reality of God’s word is detailed and always current. But I’m not good with delivering the message to the public. This is where education rules. I thank you both so much

[@PhamVans]

Very interesting. I haven't used Facebook or any of those meta apps for years now... Feel left out at times, but a clear conscious is better than a spoiled one I think. As for the narcissism, that was apparent to me when the selfie thing became popular. It took vanity to a whole new level of self obsessive behavior.

[@n3xsq841]

My son is 18 and left for college this past summer. This dialogue doesn't land with me as, at least in our family, my son was pretty independent, worked jobs + did sports in HS, was always out on camping trips or the horse trails with his circle of friends, and now @ school has spare communication with my husband and I - not by design, but it's just an extension of how we functioned pre college. He certainly has been acclimated over the past decade to something extraordinary technologically - I grew up in the 70s and 80s in an isolated farming community and continue to be astounded at the rate of change societally - but he never seemed to be under a spell or in any way bullied - although did several times talk about "drama" that went on in high school between other cliques, and how in every instance it was directly connected to something that started online. Anyways, I'd be careful about raising a clarion call for all children broadly - I agree some kids are being over managed (I can see that in my own community), but we managed to apply first principle childhood code to our family, and maybe just got lucky.

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

You didn't just get lucky, you ensured he was exposed to many different life experiences! That's major!

[@Toropetskii]

Hey. Apparently 57% of my peers in this young generation are on medication to regulate their mental health. This is the single biggest catastrophe of a generation and how we are being treated and treating each other is unacceptable. We will tear this world apart.

[@bmbutler2]

This actually began in the early 1990’s with “It Takes a Village.” Schools began to tell parents their kids had all sorts of alphabet letter disorders and parents needed to medicate them instill of using discipline and teaching. These kids grew up never learning to behave and regulate themselves towards others. Those are our millennials today. Now those people have children and the cycle continues

[@Toropetskii]

@@bmbutler2 Absolutely. The treatment of poor mental resilience with activity-inhibiting drugs has been increasing and is a scourge that we will not realise the full extent of until it's called out. No doubt some get relief from this treatment - many others are hollowed out and made chemically dependent instead of growing normally as people.

[@di3486]

@@bmbutler2 in the US? Because this was unheard of in the third world, but it is starting now in the last 5 years.

[@dinosaurwoman]

I am thrilled you see the issues that are going on. I hope you can converse with your peers and show them that there is a better way to live. May you be an inspiration to them!

[@breannaboswell1286]

@@bmbutler2 I mean I agree to an extent but as someone who suffers with aspects of adult ADHD at 27 lets not act like it’s not real and people don’t suffer. I choose not to medicate because it’s unnatural and has horrific side effects. It’s definitely real and not because my parents didn’t help me with therapy or make sacrifices or coddled me. I had a very enriching childhood.

[@Anon_for_safety]

Responsibility is the only solution. We’ve been privileged with powerful technology, and we must accept the responsibility that comes with it.

[@fergalcussen]

Twenge's book "iGen" is great. Haidt and Lukianoff cite it heavily in "the Coddling of the American Mind". It's also cited heavily in Abigail Shrier's "Irreversible Damage". She deserves as much attention as those others get.

[@dolevmazker736]

This session is absolutely great to hear about. Thank you Jordan Peterson

[@Maria-pl1bh]

What an interesting conversation.Thank you so much🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@aarontate6314]

With regards to the necessity of phones and social media for young people for engagement with thier peers I've had a very different experience. As a kid who didn't get a smart phone until junior year of highschool it wasn't as hard as you think for kids. I actually made a ground in highschool out of other kids that had flip phones like me. Also, I thank you both as this interview finally got me to delete the last social media app I was holding onto.

[@Ganerrr]

seriously what happened to kids being taught that the internet is a hellscape that should be taken for less than a grain of salt? Web platforms with heavy social interaction [twitter/instagram/reddit] being a toxic anarchy who's purpose was mostly for a laugh was one of the main original appeals- it's a system that's essentially designed for that goal and it drifting away from that has been terrible

[@jamesdellaneve9005]

Dr Jean’s work is terrific. She’s ‘da woman for generational studies. I used a lot of her work for my book for Gen Z (iGen in her parlance.)

[@BaroqueBach.]

What a great episode! I look forward to watching many more. Thank you Dr. Peterson!

[@GoodKarma22]

Thank you for sharing this Important information. I feel that parents need to start when their children are very young to turn this around. As for the older kids that are paying for their own phone (My daughter is 28 years old) all you can do is continue to shine light on the destructive side of social media.

[@realalexesparza]

I pulled the plug on social media 5 years ago. It was supposed to be 30 days off. I kept extending it for a month. Then, I just forgot. Turns out you can have a life, friends, and be happy without FB.

[@cronto_999]

Just remember KZbin is Social Media also. But yes; the Pandora's Box that's been unleashed with the invention of the Internet and Social Media is like a Laser as far as it's a fine tuned message board forum.

[@joannekissick-jones6462]

I don't agree that this has to do with the anonymity, as that is one of the principles of the 12 steps. I believe it is rooted in principles, values and lack of clear boundaries internal & externally.

[@thegroovypatriot]

Eye to eye contact is so important for empathy. Empathy neurons.

[@fie4426]

I agree. Looking away is somewhat cheating when you are socially anxious. Anygdala doesn't react as much then

[@TheTank19881]

One quote that has stuck with me for a lone time was about technology. I think it came from Computerphile concerning A.I.. At one point the cameraman said, "So what you're saying is, 'You haven't shown the technology to be safe. You've only shown that you HAVE NOT YET FIGURED OUT how the technology is dangerous.'" This stuck with me. We're seeing the dangerous side of social media now.

[@ObeyNoLies]

This! Exactly this! I've been saying this for years, social media is making people into narcissists.

[@carolspencer6915]

Good evening Jordan and Jean Thankyou for your shared discussion. Your platform here is like intellectual reassurance to me. I am frequently talking 'logic' with my twenty one years old daughter regarding social media amonst other stuff. Almost silently debilitating our new, young, adult population. My daughter usually partakes in my 'mum daughter' discussions 'face to face'😀 but we both agree and fear that indeed younger generations will lose these finely tuned skills of interaction and interpretation of the world and self. Requiring much needed attention and some kind of monitoring and rigor attached to our societies media platforms and systems. For sure our fears are real. But as a person, a mum, a mental health nurse and a new Gran even!, its terrifying. For instance, when I reflect on my nurse career seventeen years in and can see, witness the all too obvious decline in the richness of communication and the lack of 'real space' for young people to be actors in their growing learning maturation into young adult life. All too sad but, very clear to me, our communities and nations mental health has and will continue in this somewhat it seems invisible decline. Otherwise. Thankyou Jordan, appreciate your discussions and platform.💜

[@alsmith5031]

I never knew that about driving licenses. It makes sense, but I always put it down to me having moved from a rural childhood to an adult city life. I couldn't wait to drive when I was a teenager. It was the ultimate rite of passage to get a driver's license.

[@beautifulintentions5678]

Man if even 50% of the population had the discipline the brains & drive Jordan Peterson has what this world would be. I vote it should become law to read Jordan’s books by junior year high years. There should be two hours a day to his lectures & knowledge. Maybe he should be the president for all. Hopefully we get better soon as a whole. Ik I get worried about what’s happening around the world, but dang where are we going to end up if things don’t change as a whole for the better of all.