Queer Black Man To Grandmother: “He's My Fiancé. If You Don't Get That, Don't Come To The Wedding.”

[@RealSigmaQueen]

No matter how open and loving we may be, sometimes we need a push in the right direction. Sounds like Grandma had a very open heart and just needed help pushing through old cultural norms. Good for you in guiding her.

[@dramonmaster222]

I am happy that he and his Grandmother were able to remain close and that he stood his ground.

[@pa19335]

Wow, you are a great communicator. You have a gift of saying what you mean, and meaning what you say.

[@unclenelvis]

Really? He can’t pronounce the word ask!!

[@austinkiker944]

@@unclenelvis The pronunciations of many words differ wildly across the English speaking population. There is no absolute right and wrong pronunciation of a word; it's more of a spectrum of mutual intelligibility. "Ask" may not be pronounced that way in your dialect of English, but according to this speaker's dialect (and other dialects and regional variants) it is perfectly acceptable and understandable.

[@unclenelvis]

@@austinkiker944 oh i know that's not true but thank you.

[@austinkiker944]

@@unclenelvis It's true whether you would like it to be or not, sorry. Here's a decent explanation using historical linguistics. www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/12/03/248515217/why-chaucer-said-ax-instead-of-ask-and-why-some-still-do

[@htccht4111]

@@unclenelvis hahaha must be all that filthy suckling

[@aloquicious]

Its so easy to remember to respect others but not so easy sometimes to remember to respect ourselves.

[@barbkeen1221]

@Rob S Rob,Rob,Rob. He needs NO help whatsoever, but you could try some tolerance? 🤔

[@barbkeen1221]

@Rob S 😂😂😂 Thee ONLY help that is needed is for you and everyone else who is intolerant! He's living his best life and is very happy. Can you say that about your life? 🤔🤷‍♀️

[@sharronhankins7722]

Yess!

[@okimlistening2u]

Terry, you are a beautiful person. As a counselor, I think what you said to your grandma about your fiancé and the wedding was very psychologically healthy both for you and grandma. Good for you, bro........Ray [and for grandma too]

[@JD-pz3bo]

Finally someone who stands up to there elders, respect is both ways

[@rayrothermel4861]

THAT is one cool T-shirt!

[@michaelcaza6766]

It’s jus a t-shirt, nothing particularly special about it.

[@naryosh_]

@@michaelcaza6766 it's a cool ass shirt man

[@nas84payne]

Also his earring! Shit is 🔥

[@simonbennatan8257]

It's a good name for a girl. Instead of Melanie the daughter of Karen.

[@neecywatson8250]

@@michaelcaza6766 to you it’s nothing special. To us it is. The different skin tones in AA race of beautiful people. If you are white it means nothing to you.

[@mollyd7727]

That was a respectful no. Good for you. She taught you to be strong.

[@KK-yi7lw]

That is real manhood standing up for yourself and others. Communication and social skills is important.

[@Paulinrnke]

He had a perfect analysis of the situation. Yep. At some point you just have to put your foot down and make a bold uncompromising statement. Love the obviously well-used bookshelf in the background. And love the shirt.

[@michaelmichaelfordloverman8332]

I'm glad he stood his ground and that they stayed close

[@eliothorowitz5627]

When you became engaged, your fiance became as much a part of your family as your grandmother, so you were right to use shock to get her to see things from your perspective. I wish you a happy, loving marriage and would like to see a followup.

[@marywatkins9438]

Terry is a whole mood. I love his look, his philosophy, his dope shirt and earring. Love it all.

[@bojack40]

Saying ‘I don’t agree with it’ in relation to a declaration like that is something I dont think anyone need tolerate. I have said ‘it’s not something to agree with or otherwise, it’s not a philosophy, it’s a fact. Like the moon or 2+2 equalling 4’!

[@BM__8]

bojack40 exactly!

[@quartzy_jane2153]

Yes!!! 100 per cent 👍

[@sh236]

Love that you stuck up for yourself! Best to you and your husband on your life together! "We hold ourselves accountable for how we allow ourselves to be seen." So beautiful! Your grandma sounds great.

[@lmccahill45]

I grew up in Baltimore too and this situation does not surprise me. I am glad but also very very surprised that it ended up turning out nicely.

[@scottburbridge3170]

"be militant with how we love ourselves." your words ring immensely true. and your relationship with your grandmother is very special. i bet your wedding was beautiful.

[@michaelmichaelfordloverman8332]

I'm gay and this is a great story

[@guygrip4303]

Your not gay gay thats experience not who you really are. Gay is experience life god wants to learn from you. But its not you. No more beong straight its just experience. Grandma is cool. But remember gay is not all of you your worth more your gods awareness. Dont live in one box life style. Live as human not gay life. You dont condem it but you are aware of you not just gay. Your self aware. All is same. You got go love who you are experience doesnt change. And grandma has to except and family except love you. Not cause your gay. Caise your same. Stay out of box. Your not gonna live gay when we have to expand our powers beyond five senses. Your not just im gay. Gay people think thats the only thing to live for. Your worth more then that when you need love it be man. Its experience every time. But your still worth then labels we are pick as.

[@dinard38]

guy grip Man.....i've no idea what you're trying to say.

[@adamplentl5588]

Incoherent PTSD ramble.

[@barbkeen1221]

@@dinard38 I don't think guygrip knows what he's saying either! Drugs are bad!

[@barbkeen1221]

@R Y Stay true to who you are and don't let ANYONE tell you different! You and the rest of us gay people are not bad people and it's sad that your family would disown you and hopefully one day that may change. Just be you because you're an awesome person!! 🙂❤

[@tatsf]

So glad to hear you were able to stand for yourself and the validity of your relationship. I'm so tired of us getting "friend" or even "special friend" when the same people wouldn't say that to any of their straight friends or family. I feel that it devalues our relationships and isn't acceptable. Many times we are so accustomed to be less than accepted that any language at all of even vague acceptance is tolerated as "a step forward at least". I'm glad to hear that it worked out with your grandmother and thank you for making this video!

[@lawrencelyons3948]

Such a good story, Kudos to him and his grandmother.

[@bernlin2000]

Just a delightful human being :-)

[@Tsunade88]

I love that he unloaded the complexities of his relationship and conversations with his Grandmother.

[@jwalt8019]

Unconditional love is priceless. I am happy that your relationship with your fiance only brought you and your grandmother's relationship even closer. God bless.🌈

[@chrisf5053]

Wow. I loved your story! I came out 20 years ago and in my head I went through every scenario with everyone I cared about. Will they still love me? Will they reject me. It was a bumpy ride, but in the end, it all worked out ok. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. a quote by Dr Seuss...

[@DannyLTerry]

CONGRAT'S! AND HAPPY THAT EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR YOU AND FAMILY. MUCH LOVE*

[@Didyoudrinkwatertoday]

I needed this. I’m about to have a similar conversation on accepting sexuality with my grandma. Initially, I had to block her because of her rude remarks after I had come out.

[@KellyK387]

Now, ppl have to understand that old people are programmed to call someone’s partner their “friend “ it’s also a southern thing. My granny is going on 97 and worked at a bank all her life. She had a gay coworker in the 40s and they called his partner “his friend “ that was actually sociably acceptable in those days FYI. Times have changed yes, but old ppl don’t . My granny accepts it because her nephew was gay and also had a gay cousin too. I’m not gay but I’m pro lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 some of my closest friends are part of this amazing community

[@Markus_Blewish]

his grandma said ' you know how i feel about that' so she did have an issue with the gay thing. but, her love for her grandson helped her overcome it. or at least to keep it to herself.

[@Markus_Blewish]

@Harold Potsdamer I guess it's a variation on NIMBY. They support methodone clinics and gays but only 5 miles away.

[@Markus_Blewish]

@Harold Potsdamer An acronym for people's tendency to support practices in concept, as long it's not where they live. 'Not-In-My-Backyard. '

[@sedecim]

This is what major cute hotness looks like

[@HoneyLaBronx]

That is the most LOVING and playful yet still stern and powerful way of standing up for yourself! From this story I get a sense of how wonderful your grandma is, and it just wouldn't have honored her to let her remain ignorant and disapproving. Thank you for this! Now where's the video of that skydiving proposal??? That sounds so romantic!!

[@TheLemonsims]

He spoke a WORD at the end.

[@jmb8690]

People can be bigger than their past. Go grandmother.

[@curtismichael4703]

Skin is glowing and flawless! Gotta get me one of those t-shirts👍

[@yvettecruz6038]

So proud of you for validating your relationship! On a side note- I’m a straight almost 40 year old women with a child and my father has always referred to my boyfriends as my “friend”, LOL. He just can’t seem to deal! I wonder what he will call my future fiancé… if that ever happens for me.

[@whitneysylvester730]

You are full of wisdom and love.

[@mrmacfilms1]

Bravo brother!! ❤

[@roysmallian2889]

You have created your own reality. You provide a good lesson for others.

[@lmccahill45]

Black people who are homophobic baffle me. I am proud of this guy for putting his foot down.

[@lawrencelyons3948]

If you're not Black, You don't really get to have an opinion on that.

[@adamplentl5588]

@@lawrencelyons3948 why exactly?

[@lawly18]

Adam Plentl Because Black homophobia almost exclusively effects other Black people. Also, I abhor that argument about Black people shouldn’t be homophobic. It’s like saying “ well I’m not baffled that White people are homophobic because they haven’t dealt with racism or whatever” Black people aren’t a monolith and Black people get to have diverse beliefs and opinions regardless of history. The reality is that, it should baffle you that anyone is homophobic, because homophobia is wrong period. But It’s not more wrong because a group has endured oppression.

[@thembisaodendaal]

Family always expects a yes and they don't know how to deal when you say no.I believe in always doing what is comfortable for me and quit wanting to appease others at my expense..I've done the appeasing in the past they don't respect you for it but when you put your foot down that's when the respect is commanded

[@allancuseo7431]

Great story full of insights

[@mdee860]

👍👍🏾👏👏🏾👏👏🏾👏👏🏾 YES!!! Straight or Gay - we teach people how to treat us!

[@NorthernFella]

That was well done, I loved how she said, I am still coming to the wedding,

[@yepyep9113]

He has the most beautiful, kind, and expressive eyes. I can see falling in love with him, and I sure can't see denying his truth.

[@darnellb3826]

I LOVE IT! What a gorgeous man!!!

[@puneetbeniwal2744]

I am happy that atleast his grandmother didn't abused their relationship. But me and my husband have gone through a lot while coming out because both we belong to a conservative and especially homophobic family.

[@seamus7585]

Love this! ❤️

[@thembisaodendaal]

Wow so true we just have to teach them how we deserve to be loved and we must not compromise even if they choose to walk away

[@walterharris3227]

Very nice story 😂😂😂

[@justinsenior8264]

I’m from Baltimore too

[@ecatheatre86]

Yeah, this is cute, lol, but are we gonna act like we didn't hear SKY DIVE? Ain't nobody got time for that! LOL!

[@barbkeen1221]

I surely don't! Rather have a root canal done! Lol!

[@andrewaway]

Love this. ❤️

[@neily25]

Sometimes, you still have to check the ones you love the most, even if they're elders. It's ok.

[@adriansewell3560]

Anyone know his IG?

[@darkskinss]

His skin is sitting.

[@sedecim]

And this sounds smart but babie 20 years ago nope ! Your grand mother would have acted differently and not in a good way. That is the luck of youth.

[@barbkeen1221]

And his grandma made a decision to love him rather than to lose him as a grandson! 👏👏❤❤

[@WynnEngel]

*i wish there was a rainbow 💛 emoji:(*

[@FreakishSmilePA]

♥️💛💚💙💜or at least an orange one in the same style (💘this one just looks off)

[@daco3557]

you mean this one?🌈

[@juliantapia1407]

@@daco3557 I think they meant a rainbow heart? Not sure

[@mery5989]

this is so damn cute :)

[@gsmarkham]

👍❤️👍

[@Tyreeleslie]

Your first black gay male.

[@johnamstutz]

❤️

[@SOWTHEW0RD]

HOLY BIBLE---- 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

[@guygrip4303]

Tell grand ma. That god wants us to learn how we eXcept our selves and others except us. We dont have to be bed hopper but just good to one another hurt no one. Your right stayen true to who you are. Its pur experience how to handle it in loven ourself. But remember we are higher divine we are god gods atom taken from and return to atom but stamp as person we are buy directors of life were given god experience in illusion of human form.its experience like job title but not who you are. We are selfaware of knowledge of universe is what we really are soon will be back to it as we were before ecoli disaster two hundred thousand years ago.

[@1Dark.Paradise.Lost1]

*accept

[@guygrip4303]

@@1Dark.Paradise.Lost1 we are from eight and seventh deminsion were put in sixth deminsion. We decided who we become. To give god experience hes us. To order to do this we volenteer to choose baby or what was available. For instance im really female soul i. Picked male baby .that makes us differnt. To give god experience of. What love is. Love is excepting love weather your gay straight. Bi. Its experience. We have two except it if you want to love your self. Its gift. Cause the way we choose baby to enter in solid deminsion. We stay gay. So we except it. Its love. Another form of love experience. So we except it. For those arnt have to learn to except not use hate. And those gay to each other have to learn to stay in love hurt no one. Those who cause rape harm disease no love im not talken about accidents. I mean pure on perpouse social paths. Must remorse. Forgive them selves if not it be later to remorse. LET ME GIVE EXAMPLE. ON HIGHER FREQUENCY SOME DAY HERE ON EARTH OR AFTER WHEN OUR EXPERIENCE IS THREW WE GO FOR LIFE REVIEW IN OUR MIND. FROM ASHERIC RECORD. IT WORKS ON THOUGHTS HOLD IN FREQUENCY. VIBRATION WHEN PERSON SEES HARM HE CAUSED. HE WILL FEEL IT TWO. FOR INSTANCE PERSON CONDEMING GAY SON MEAN. ABUSE. IF HE FEELS PAIN HE CAUSED HE WILL LIVE MOMENT NORMAL PERSON REMORSE IT SAY I WAS WRONG HE FEELS SORRY. HIS FREQUENCY GOS UP TO HIGHER LAND. STAYS THERE. FOR THOSE THAT LIKE IT AND WISH THEY DID MORE HARM . DIDNT EXCEPT IT HATES. HIM HIS FREQUENCY WILL LOWER. TO WHAT HE BELIEVES. HAS TO FIGURE IT OUT REALIZE IT WAS EXPERIENCE HES NOT THAT PERSON BEFORE INCARNASION. WHO HE WAS PRETENDING IN ILLUSION HE IS LOVE OF GOD.HIMSELF SOONER OR LATER FREQUENCY MOVES UP. GRADUALLY WE STAY IN MIDDLE OF SUMMERLAND OR CAN WORK ITS WAY BACK TO GODS HEAD. WE MUST EXCEPT OUR SELVES ENJOY LOVE. LOVE EXCEPT ALL. THIS IS LESSON IN THE ILLUSION WERE IN. WE CANT EXCEPT EVIL EVIL IS NOT WHO WE ARE IT CANT GO IN SUMMERLAND SO WE HAVE TO GET IT CLEANED OFF COME BACK AS REAL PART OF LOVE GOD. THIS UNIVERSE IS ABOUT TO LEARN LOVE. BUY ERASEN MIND. SOON WERE GOING IN PEACE AND ALL WILL KNOW TO EXCEPT EACH OTHER ALL IS SAME. THOSE DID SO MUCH HARM IN PAST IS UNDER ARCONS NEGATIVE ENERGY AND WILL PAY THE EXPERIENCE HE HAS CHOICE TO STAY IN HORROR HE CREATED LAW OF ATRACTION OR GET TO YOUR HIGHER. SELF ITS BAD ILLUSION BUT VERY REAL ONE TILL WE LEAVE OUT OF THIS BOX. EXCEPT EXCEPT EXCEPT LOVE IS ANSWER. LOVE YA WE ALLSO CHOOSE WHO WE WANT TO BE BUT LAW OF ATRACTION. PUTS US WHAT WE CREATED. CANT MIX TWO. DEMOM CAN STAY AS IS HIS JOB NEGATIVE ENERGY WE ARE NOT SAME .WE ORGINALLY GOD OF LOVE AND HAS TO GO BACK AS THAT. EVEN THOUGH THERE IS GOOD DEMONS ALLSO. THERE JUST LOWER PART OF FREQUENCY THERE MADE FROM ALLSO FROM GODS LIGHT THE HEAD AND DIRECTORS OF LIFE TAKE ATOM IN TWO SEVEN OBJECTS OF LIFE WERE GOD IN ALL THINGS BUT EGO SEOERATES US. TO LEARN WHAT LOVE IS LOVE YA .

[@Paulinrnke]

Sheesh

[@barbkeen1221]

OMG!! 🤦‍♀️ All y'all have done lost the plot!

[@JerichoMile4]

Uh...Tupac Shakur once lived in Baltimore MD 🤨

[@barbkeen1221]

And your point is???

[@JerichoMile4]

@@barbkeen1221 Uh...just a keen insight 🤔

[@barbkeen1221]

@@JerichoMile4 😂😂 good one, I see what you did there! 😉😂😂 Good one! 👏👏👏👍 I used to live in Ball-eh-more once many, many years ago but I can't sing/rap! 😔😂

[@SOWTHEW0RD]

HOLY BIBLE--- 5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: 6 for which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: 7 In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. 8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

[@tychophotiou6962]

After he said "like" for the hundredth time I just couldn't listen anymore! Soooooo annoying! I'm not homophobic but I am likaphobic!

[@JoyfulRelaxation22]

I didn't even notice it.