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Tune in for episode four on the importance of being friends first! The common dating philosophy is that you get to know the person while you're dating them - find out why this thinking is fundamentally flawed and why getting to know them first is such an important part of building a lasting relationship! Did we miss anything? Drop a comment below!
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💌 SHOW NOTES:
This week we’re covering the importance of being best friends in a relationship - how to build a solid foundation of friendship first and how to continue getting to know your significant other once you start dating them.
(0:48) Being friends first lets you get to know them on a deeper level. You’re not putting your best foot forward.
(0:51) The common dating philosophy of getting to know someone while you’re dating them is fundamentally flawed. You’re introducing emotions into the mix with someone you don’t know yet! Bad idea!
(1:10) By being friends first, you get to see them in different environments and see how they communicate with those around them - their family, friends, teachers, classmates - people they like and people they don’t like. Get to know who they are as a person, not just a love interest.
(1:33) Get to know them in community without an agenda of seeing if they’re bf/gf material.
(2:06) The physical side of a relationship requires a certain level of commitment to be appropriate.
(2:19) If you rush to the physical side, you base your entire relationship on what you do instead of who you are.
(2:33) Build the friendship part of the relationship instead of rushing to the physical side.
(2:55) People often see compromising physically as a substitute for commitment in a relationship.
(3:15) Being someone’s lifelong teammate is based on so much more than superficial similarities.
(3:23) You can see their flaws much easier if you see them as just a friend - people compromise really easily if they like someone.
(4:05) When you ignore little things that amount to a big thing in the end, it’s because you’re looking through a false starry-eyed lens.
(4:17) What does this look like practically?
(4:41) “We’re already friends..” Ask lots and lots of questions! Come up with a list of questions! Check out our free eBook of conversation starters here:
(5:29) Fragile Intimacy explained. You have to have a depth and breadth of knowledge in a person’s life to understand who they are. Different parts of people can influence they way they make different decisions.
TL;DR - Stay in community, build friendships, and ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS! Trust that in making friends, God will lead you to the right one!
Join us next Monday for Episode 5! Any thoughts on the vlog? Drop a comment below! We'd love to hear from you. See ya next week!
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ABOUT: Most of the dating advice out there is on what not to do - join us as we learn and share our two cents on how to actually go about building a lasting, happy, godly relationship from the ground up! Sound interesting to you? Hit that thumbs up button and give us a sub!
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DISCLAIMER: Any blog posts, video episodes, social posts, or other communication through One True Pair (even if referred to as “advice”) is simply our opinion and perspective in relation to our process. Every relationship is going to be different, so we encourage you to use your own judgement and discretion in regards to if, when, or how you apply any of the things we talk about. We’re not responsible for your actions or decisions - positive or negative. YOU are responsible for your own life and relationships. We’re offering our input to the best of our knowledge and with the best of intentions, but please don’t take anything we say at face value. We really hope this resource is helpful to you, but it’s up to you to prayerfully consider and decide for yourself what you want your own relationship to look like. By watching and/or reading OTP, you agree to this disclaimer.