In The DM: Black Tax | Living With Extended Family Under The Same Roof ft The Aleph Cafe & Bar

[@bumploveug]

Hey Bump Lovers, We would love to hear back from you.... Are you an ardent believer in ubuntu? How far are you willing to go to help out your less privileged relatives? Help out a fellow Mama by letting us know below.

[@catherinenansubuga3695]

I really appreciate when you allow each other to voice their opinions.

[@catherinenansubuga3695]

Helping from a far is the ideal...and if the circumstances allow for this family to do so, may be they can opt for...however situations can be different...

[@eronnabatanzi8929]

Helping from far saves alot. Kids are so spoilt now. They even have affairs amongst themselves.

[@asimwepriscilla4719]

Hey bump lovers please talk about incase a man has kids from a different lady and then you still have kids with him how best can it be done

[@shivanbusuulwa6170]

Rossette's mic was down

[@samanthanansubuga7452]

I love the way pumla articulates her opinions and I wish to meet her one day. She is so informed

[@namirembeprossy9865]

I knowwww…like how she shares from a point of knowledge, even when she has not experienced it, she educates herself about almost everything and anything…Pumla we appreciate 🥂

[@Kareka_masai]

I've loved this conversation, this content will never grow old. I cant believe I'm coming across it an year after it was uploaded.

[@aureliayuktankabebwa5066]

For me giving is like a calling 🙏🏾I can’t stop from giving no matter what I get from the receivers🙏🏾but I thank God for Blessing me with so much🙏🏾,I saw this from my parents they never lack anything no matter how ✍🏽,I know my life is a result from giving .MAY GOD HELP US ALL.

[@streetlaw2564]

Rachel Mwine!!!!!❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣❣ I am always looking out for your opinion. You are always on point.

[@rachaelmwine611]

🥰Thank you..

[@kemigishajesicca8332]

One thing I learnt about givers is that it's always more natural than logical. Know this and know peace. Most givers have no limit.

[@shamimkagere]

I grew up in a large family and we harbored extended family from both sides and right now we are the enemies to them. It is good to help, help where you can and God rewards you either sooner or later.

[@atimnyanzi6859]

Sorry Shamim. That is very typical.

[@sophielara8093]

Exactly well said

[@joana1207able]

We lived in a two bedroom house, raised by a single mother and over 20 at some point in the house. But to date, thirty years later, I was the only one who improved the house. I tried to solicit funds from all of them and none gave me a coin. Am the only one who looks after Mom. Even her DSTV, no one can even pay for it. This really hurts me. Manuella i do not agree with you on giving according to how you make because all my siblings and cousins claim the same..give back

[@hildaninsiima2506]

You just told my story

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

I have witnessed this imbalance in families. There is always 1 or 2 doing the most. The rest don't want to know. Thank you for looking after your mom. I'm sure she appreciates you. P

[@violamusiime1]

Same happens to me only me and my siblings are supporting.

[@thisenthat]

Angie talks less but when she talks OMG. Blessings Angie en much ❤

[@maimunakamoga811]

A very good topic. An upper hand (a giving hand) is better than a lower hand (a receiving one). An elder once advised me to help from a distance and if i am to help, i should never feel strained doing so. For instance, do not borrow to help someone, it is OK to say you do not have when you dont. Manuela's plan is the BEST option, set a percentage aside and when that "pool" of funds is dry, until next time.

[@tumwebazaliz1293]

Pumla has cracked my ribs😂😂. I hear "if you give God 10%, who is that relative you are giving 30%?" 😂

[@mgn3618]

😂😂 she's right

[@sarahtheresanakatudde9037]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

But for shuwa! People think they can save the world. Just burning themselves. P

[@kisakyewonderful4444]

@@pumlanabachwa8668 I agree. There was only one Jesus Christ. Let's leave it at that. Respectfully

[@doreen8825]

​@@pumlanabachwa8668 Sister-gal, you are literally my twin in how you think and articulate issues, atte the way u represent the single mums, and co-parenting, then to no bad life.. its a yes for me always !💗Thank you💗

[@immaculatensereko3147]

I AM CRYING! I am an orphan brought up by my grandpa with all my cousins yet my uncles were alive but non of them is minding him at 96 on his death bed .As they are helping let them not be expectant. They can also get transport and send them to visit their parents during long holidays.Thanks

[@lizzienntate]

I agree with pumula. Helping from distance better. Love you ladies.

[@NotAnathaMotvationalSpeaka7520]

Wow, this episode is just so powerful. Thank you ladies for addressing this issue. To be honest I am a beneficiary of Ubuntu but at some point in my teenage I got entitled because rather than treat me differently I was treated as a child in the homes I lived in and given privileges. When those privileges were taken away I would act like a spoilt child. Unfortunately for me being a total orphan I didn't have someone like Manuela's mum telling me the right way to behave when you're taken in. It is was only until 2021 when I turned 30 that I learnt this "NO ONE IS ENTITLED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING" so you ought to be grateful and not entitled. I have since repented and make an effort to support my maternal Aunties who have raised me. They could have thrown me in the village or orphanage after my mum's death but they didn't. Instead they raised me like a Princess (Sometimes even more favored than their own children). I am currently living in the USA thanks to one of those aunts who moved heaven and earth for me. I am still on a journey of financial stability but I thank God I am able to make some small contribution to my extended family atleast once every year. Many people become averse to Ubuntu because of the way the beneficiaries behave but I believe if we understand our callings as Rachel pointed out, God will give us the grace and the provision so no one goes without. If it's not your calling and you are practicing it out of love, duty or obligation make sure to discuss with your spouse so you're on the same page. Also, I really think families should do it together and not separately because you are one unit. Apply Pumla and Manuela's principles.

[@janephernsozisambaga2753]

By early 20s I was already a mother to teenagers....my relatives. When I married still in my 20s I had an average of 5 teenagers in my home. My relatives who lived longest with me were collecting bullets to distribute to whoever never wished me well. Remember such dependants know you deeply. At my lowest years, the hit hardest. Help people from far...if you must.

[@NotAnathaMotvationalSpeaka7520]

@@janephernsozisambaga2753 Sorry to hear that. Most people getting helped forget until they too get to the point of helping others. Pray for their ignorance just like Jesus did at the cross and forgive them. And yes, help from far. Things get easily complicated.

[@rinahope]

The major problem is doing the helping and expecting something in return and I think if yr doing something with higher expectations u end up disappointed!! Angie really spoke out my heart!! ... thank you ladies

[@sarahkakai542]

Okay when it comes to helping, I think discernment is key. Just make sure you do not sow among thorns or on rocky grounds but rather on fertile soils. Some people want to take advantage of others and even have ill motives. Above all, give help with a mind that you are doing a service to God but not to people...in that way, yo reward shall be Devine. Obuntu for me👌

[@doreengift458]

Hmmm! Ladies, thank you for sharing! The good news here is there are atleast mechanisms of helping and the most vivid or common but comfortable ones is helping from afar! I know many people will say ABC...but there are details that someone who has never gone through won't understand! Sibling rivalry may go along way,the host's discomfort may lead to funny behaviour that the beneficiaries may misunderstand! The desire or guilt feeling of having to pay back is so heavy to carry! Then ofcourse we have not touched the bit of those that will exploit you as the host because their own either sister, brother etc helped you! So help us God!

[@jocelynmagero6364]

Growing up I have been on the receiving side. My uncle took me to the best schools. I will forever be grateful.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Nice. I do gone you appreciate him every moment you get. P

[@nayomi776]

Interesting topic, close to home. Someone wrote a book about why we as Africans don't grow financially. We tend to harvest small mangoes which can't be eaten. It's always good to grow our finances and be a blessing without complaining because we are stable financially and able to help without allowing the people we are helping to be a burden. We can only give what we have. I may have the money to pay school fees but not able to raise the same children especially when they have parents.

[@droliatashobya]

Funny I watched the video wearing exact same top as Rosette! I kept trying to see if it's the real one 🤣🤣 My take away is give not expecting to get back otherwise you will be sorely disappointed. Look at it as giving to God and he will be the one to reward you. Proverbs 19:17

[@annenasubo4890]

I am so here for the long videos 👏👏. On another note...having watched Angie over time, you can tell she has a beautiful spirit. I always look forward to her perspective on things, so wise.

[@josephinenalwoga2337]

But they all have

[@annenasubo4890]

@@josephinenalwoga2337 yes they do ❤

[@carolinemayende7917]

So true .she's such a darling even just listening to her speak is so heart warming,kind,sweet..

[@annenasubo4890]

@@carolinemayende7917 Yesss

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

She does have a beautiful spirit indeed. P

[@nalubugaketra]

Ts Pumla's opinion for me...Thanks you Ladies..May the Lord Bless u Abundantly..

[@joachimndhokero9090]

The reasoning of Pumla is for a real Economist. its a great show indeed.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Hahahaaa! When it comes to money, I can't think any other way. P

[@debrax1907]

Exactly, I am an Economist and I was like yes, preach sister p, be rational. But then the Christianity in me is also trying to give it a balance. Great insights ladies

[@lylliann]

Oh Manuela..you made me tear at Minute 39. God bless your mum..I need her to speak to mine who is also doing so much ubuntu but with zero boundaries.

[@nkimminkimmi794]

Setting boundaries is vital!. Pumla made some great points. Most people who are wealthy and are able to pass generational wealth to their kids are grandkids are people who gave but gave wisely!. Yes, we have the Ubantu thing in Africa but we hardly generate generational wealth because everyone’s issue is our obligation. Some people, you help them and then come back and help their own own children.

[@christinebirungi7079]

Balance this topic. Me I can go on and on. But all I can say once I reviewed my black tax account. I was able to live my life. I do what I can now.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Very good 👍🏾. P

[@elizabethnakayiza8276]

Oprah Winfrey once said that her success has not been in the amount of trees or houses she has, but her success has been in the amount of people whose lives she has changed through giving them education.

[@estherkessie]

i have watched this episode 4 times, but what i can say is that you reap what you saw. I grew up from in family of ubuntu too, but believe it or not, the ones you help are not necessarily the ones meant to help you back. Life is a journey and we all meet purposeful people in our lives depending on the seasons. Stay blessed my dears, love from Finland 😊

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Love right back at you Esther ❤️. P

[@kemysarah4315]

Yaaaah that's true, I remember where Manuela said that the bible says you reap what you sow, not where you sow

[@deniskato6888]

Good to find you here also my dear

[@estherkessie]

@@deniskato6888 i follow the good vibes 😊

[@violamusiime1]

@Esther Kessie your right even me it's happening to us that after our parents did all for the outsiders they didn't even help us back instead we are doing it on our own. Thank God is guiding us 🙏

[@rosediamond1005]

Great topic ladies. Growing up, my mum used to get so upset with my father's generosity and one of the statements my dad made that has stuck with me for many years was...he said to mum, if I don't pay for these children, these are the children that will be a burden to your children in the future. Most of my cousins have done really well and I respect dad so much for seeing the bigger picture. The more people we lift up and empower whether from afar or in the home, the higher probability they will do the same for someone else.❤️ Thanks ladies and Pumla you are golden as always!

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

It's funny how always the overly generous one always marries the opposite. Real marriage test 😂😂😂. P

[@pipinm2214]

@@pumlanabachwa8668 haha!

[@Tripleexel]

You can't pay your way out of black tax. You need a steady income & a working pension system. Paying black tax only continues cycle

[@racheallenga9444]

This subject really hit home...wise words spoken from each one of you! " A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." -Proverbs 11:25 Blessings ❤

[@nabukwasichristine8124]

Are u talking to me???the sermon last Sunday was this very verse in my church

[@racheallenga9444]

@@nabukwasichristine8124 Run with it then... and let's all live a life of generosity for HE gave us his very best Christ JESUS out of LOVE.. be blessed my sister ❤️

[@angelayez9114]

Obuntu is one of the things I am most proud of as an African. Not because I benefited from it(having been an orphan who stayed in many of my relatives homes) but because it is an opportunity to look beyond ourselves and give to others. The biggest challenge however is adults who choose to help relatives willingly but end up treating them badly just because they are helping them. If you decide to help, please respect, love and treat these relatives well. Key highlight for me at min 27:38 by Manuella, you reap what you sow NOT where you sowed.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

True. Thanks Angel. P

[@joannambalirwa6997]

Great insight. Thank you

[@fk5371]

but those who are being helped should also learn to be grateful, some people demand too much and forget that the person helping has immediate family..........let's not be selfish and take others for granted.

[@lizz9478]

What’s Obuntu?

[@Passiemclove]

People who speak like you are the reason why the obuntu is all going wrong. Learn from what Manuela’s mum taught her; if you are being housed be ready to wake up earliest and serve them more than a maid! Because having you around is already too much! Problem is that which you call being treated badly is most times temugambwako!!! always two sides to the story but the people who are helped everywhere have entitlement issues

[@dorakaysinga3115]

This topic has hit home for me. Coz in society right now, there are so many new sides to it. I always remember my Mum, and I like it that Manuela says this Mum shouldn't worry about the kids, they're probably having fun. As a child back then growing up in a full house, it was easy to see it from a child's perspective. But when we switch roles as adults, I get to see my Mum's perspective. She was open to helping and looking after many kids from relatives, but when I look at the home management skills she had to engage to manage the home I'm like Cheiii! It's no wonder that in those years I would only see her fun side when she was with her sisters, or her friends. That's when I would be like, wairraminit, you mean Mummy can laugh? You mean she can even tell jokes? So the emotional and physical demand is also something to consider. E.g having many kids plus other kids from relatives always called into question the aspect of attention, care and fairness when there were fights or misunderstandings? And like you've said, the feeling some of the the relatives' kids sometimes have of not fitting in or the like. I think this is the emotional burden some Mums end up with, of knowing that no matter how hard you try, there's always complaints and backbiting that will come back to you as a Mum who sacrificed to help. So I really do appreciate and admire my Mum for that sacrifice. I admire her for her courage to even go beyond and pay fees from her own pocket, even when it wasn't her own blood.

[@atukundachristine4471]

I might say ,I stayed at my maternal uncle place for more than 10 yrs . Life wasn't so soft but I tried to find my own life ,I never imagined am among his family member however much he was literally giving me everything, this is because I wanted them to be free at their own home ,not to feel like am a badden to them so most of my time was spent with nannies helping them here and there and most of the new nannies /maids couldn't think we are related until some good time . I really cherish and love them so much

[@Msunsungdots]

Sending hugs

[@tumwebazekenneth4492]

"You reap WHAT you saw not WHERE you saw" woow. Thanks ladies for always coming up with great 👍 shows. Mwe abasinga

[@sophia4christ]

There is a clear difference between giving and being exploited. Be led by the Spirit of God to not be exploited, but to be a blessing. 🙏🏽

[@atuheirediana110]

Plus I think when you are a woman, relatives from your side, are not as hectic as relatives from your husband's side. Am glad you brought this topic, it has helped me in a way that I should wait on God cz pain will always be there at some point. God bless you

[@Lulu-xo5qm]

Thanks ladies for this episode. Most African relatives who help actually love being worshipped that's why they love seeing you at their homes because they're helping you. Help from a distance and from your heart. Unless if the person you're helping is homeless.

[@Flourish_today]

Lol! My cousin used to say Itesots like being worshiped so they want you keep coming back to beg. That statement used to make me laugh because we are Itesots and he was referring to my uncle. I don't think it has anything to do with us Itesosts I think he was just upset with the way my uncle loved being begged.🤣

[@Lulu-xo5qm]

@@Flourish_today 😂😂

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Lol @worshipped. Hehehee! I hear you. P

[@josephinenamubiru3585]

What a discusion!! loved it. i think these are issues of the heart riyalee. Helping God~s people!!! with the right intention is second to none. Gods people! Gods people! we are blessed to be a blessing

[@sweetmutima70]

My parents raised their brothers and sisters in our house, we had no peace nor freedom. We grew up with no connection with our parents coz they didn’t have time for us. Today, those relatives still feel us the kids need to help them, they still feel entitled. And non of them helps us. For that reason, no relatives in my house. Period. I help from outside and strangers not relatives.

[@angellaayebale]

😂😂😂😂😂 I am.coming, I am coming

[@ainomugishavivian7602]

I agree with setting boundaries and checking your black Tax account and ascertaining that you will be compliant. I must say that I grew up in that extended family. I vividly remember when mum could not afford Immaculate Heart Girls Sch fees, my uncle (husband to my mom's sister) sat I and my sister and had a chat with us...the Late Didas Tibigambwa told us that he would do anything to ensure we got education even if it's not the best because that is what he can afford. And he told us how going to poor schools didn't stop him from excelling at national level. He called out his children and told them to understand when things change and it seems hard because we were also children that needed to be taken care of. We studied hard and Didas' generosity produced a lawyer and an accountant. We have grown up together, we look out for each other...we celebrating our successes and being there for each other in the difficult times. To the world, I am the last born but to me, I am the 2nd last born coz then Didas' last born comes after me😂😊 To whoever is in this situation; from Didas, I learnt that on earth we serve God through serving his people and this is sacrifice. You sacrifice your time, money, friends among others...it will get hard, you feel like giving up (coz mehn, I was a stubborn kid!) But "joy will come in the morning" those young ones will make you proud. And as you are in that breaking part, pray so much, for your family, and those children of God that He has placed in your life to give them life, to nurture them. I am sure if uncle Didas was here, he could be proud of never giving up. My aunt too, I call her super woman coz mehn she whopped my a** Last, you are a phenomenal woman, be strong and keep serving God through helping His children.

[@aidahninkusiima1542]

Thanks bump love. As for my husband an I we have support from distance and and within. Majorly we have ensured that the people we support make it and are not a burden to to us as adults. Helped so many get jobs. Small businesses. We can't ran away from obuntu. Nice time

[@tracytracy1593]

Mrs Mulondo good points and great example from your mom. Yes give from the heart not because people will talk. I always pray for directions on who to give and how much. Do not break yourself.

[@akellojacquelene2057]

Amazing, Powerful, Knowledgeable,Beautiful and Above all God fearing Women i just love ur show. Thank u for all the advises u share.

[@eronebalayo7122]

Wow!! I love love the discussion!! Good job ladies. Manuela the dress and shows are lit! Pumla i love the neck accessory. Rachel the hair and lipstick ❤. Angie i love the hair and accessories. Rosette looks good with the hairstyle.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Thanks for the compliments 😊. P

[@manuelap.mulondo]

Oh thanks you dear

[@sunshinelivie8741]

I may be late to the party but let me share my story. I am a child who grew up in a broken family, I never had a chance to live under the same roof as my mother and father. Infact I lived with any relative who was kind enough. In my teenage years, I lived with a cousin who had a family. During the holidays, I worked as a housemaid... infact sometimes her maid would take a break when I returned from school. At the end of the holiday, she would shop my school requirements and give me pocket money... back then in the early 2000s it was around 150k. Now I have grown up and God has been so faithful to me. I am comfortable and living a life I only dreamt about. For my cousin tables turned and I used to send her money to support her whenever she reached out. Of course sometimes when she asked for money, I didn't have. So she goes on to say "abantu tebasiima, kale gundi namuyamba naye yanelabira". This really angered me because I was never a child in her house I was a housemaid, I did all the housemaids did and more so to me I was offering a service. I don't think it was black tax on her side since I offered services she would have gotten from someone else at a fee. From that statement, I stopped sending her money. Please judge me if you want but treating your relatives as maids or even worse and then claim to be a good samaritan just doesn't make sense.

[@Flourish_today]

I think the problem with your cousin is that she took you in as a maid and forgot that you were doing a service that called for payment. She is very entitled and thinks that you owe her your whole life savings because she gave you a maid opportunity. As long as you do not talk about her,let her be. Most relatives like that take advantage of people like us who are mulekwas. They forget that the hand of the Lord is upon us and life happens. Kudos to you for creating boundaries.

[@sunshinelivie8741]

@Flourish... you are so right. I don't talk about her but I distanced myself from the drama. Nothing is hard in life as being a mulekwa or a homeless child 😔

[@lwangaatlanta]

i am a different kind of African, i do not want to help people from my house, i will help them from their own houses, under my roof, i will choose a struggle i can manage. because bringing in relatives into our homes ones we cant chase...nedda..

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Gwe you'll manage life properly. P

[@linkare458]

The lady with the white braids is so lovely...motherly and all... Good conversation... Love from Italy

[@nyesigaevas1323]

Thanks ladies I have also grown up from an extended family..we never had our alone time as siblings cousins from all over would be at our home..even up to now Kudos to my parents 👏 bse its really not easy

[@MAN-yq9yi]

You ladies are a gem. I love the fact yr discussion r not censored, everyone gives their honest opinions.. Now on giving - the Bible says “love your Neighbor AS YOURSELEFU”. So 1- First love yrself then u will know how to love someone else. Best question to ask is if the places were switched wht would I wish *FAIRLY* wish the other person to do for me - or WWJD - Wht would Jesus do.. 2- But also God can ask you to give your all in specific situations. And you will know & you will not b able to shake off tht “calling” away & if u obey there will be a big breakthrough FOR YOU…more than the person your helping…tht will blow your mind away.. Soon or later. But Pliiz it’s a calling & if ur communication with God is solid u will know. I emphasize be sure it’s a God calling Not other manipulations.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Thanks for this 👍🏾. P

[@dorakaysinga3115]

As for reaping what you sow, I totally get it. Coz I've been in ministry for a while now, and I know that not all that you sacrifice for will appreciate or give back, but as sure as God's word is true, it always comes back to you, even if it has to be a stranger! But it always comes back!

[@brianisaac3180]

Naye bakazi mwe mulina amagezi, everybody is really making sense, whoever chose this set of women deserves a prize

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Hahahaaaaaa! Tusiima nnyo! P

[@richauntie316]

I have been saying this,help from a distance. The principle of life has not changed,it's seed time and harvest, whatever u sow you reap its just a matter of time either you or your children or even grandchildren who will reap.

[@brendanalunkuuma628]

Pumla l love how you Express yourself

[@catherinenansubuga3695]

Pumla says she can give FREE financial management lessons.....I thought that it would be nice to have the sessions here for all of us to learn

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Let us arrange an episode on this my dear. Next season 👍🏾. P

[@fionaiga1577]

@@pumlanabachwa8668 I'm looking forward to this episode

[@evelynnamirembe3449]

Am for help from a distance like Angie....and also like Mrs Mulondo...if my household is firm bulungi I wouldnt refuse to help from my home... thanks ladies....Oooh n Pumla... thanks for the financial tips

[@manuelap.mulondo]

Very firm indeed

[@leahnakabugo3226]

Great topic! It's better to help from a distance because the people you bring in will always look out for a problem. Love you all

[@mirielsharon6271]

thanks Bump Love, Nga being a first born is not easy. sometimes being selfish is the key so we able to help others using the airplane scenario

[@kansiimebettie8431]

Bambi ladies thanks for touching lives. I celebrate u

[@komugisharitah4088]

Dear Bump love, Next time, you should also talk about parents who send their children to relatives and how children are affected trying to fit in those homes

[@komugisharitah4088]

Especially in teenage and above teen age (University)

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

We'll see how to structure this into our plan.p

[@lilianovin4158]

I see this in my aunt's home she provides for whoever in her home without segregation , thanks Aunty flo

[@faithada3108]

Thank you so much Bumb love. This hit close to home, I believe in being selfless and Ubuntu all the way

[@jacklinemutambo3280]

Love for you ladies from Zambia 🇿🇲 interesting discussion on black tax..

[@masikadiana6267]

Thanks alot 👊 I love the fact that you guys touch every scenario, like it's real....about this topic I felt like I should jump in to say what I went through but unfortunately you guys have the shortest time I can't jump in to speak live... however, everything you said is true ,it's by choice but one has to have a belief in something either God or or Karma....truth be told being a PK...it's and having seen all those things.. there beautiful moments and worst and therefore have learnt lessons from being a victim...because my dad would sacrifice everything and we were always the last ..so to the mother who needs help I learnt from my mom that it's your role to ensure that your family is not frustrated..keep reminding your husband of the needs in a fine way...so that your children are not broken like you and also don't show it to your children that it's breaking especially if they are still young because it could be that they are enjoying and you may spoil everything, children can say anything to anyone that they have bonded with and it brings issues to in-laws...your lucky that you have seen it early by God's Grace so I believe you will find a way to handle it through communication with your husband and God.Just do your role especially on how you as a wife can support your husband and also having the joy of your children continued in the situation.By the way for you ,you are lucky it's just paying fees and feeding and sending money at home, but us it was beyond that you know Clergy...even going to different churches and you promise bags of cement, buying uniform for the youths... whoever is Anglican will understand what I mean ,we have so much giving types , even construction of the Reverend and layreader,'s house.So and all these someone will feel must say something, even choosing to let church visitors sleep at home or make home a restaurant for a conference at church and as children we are assumed to work for a week without pay because we are supportive the work of Our sad being Clergy.Anyway , it's alot but hung in there and do what it takes through meditation, reflection with God and your self..on this and you will be content.I hope this helps with alot I have written. 🤣🤣🤣Diana Masika......🖐️🖐️

[@atelachristine9126]

Angie speaks like a princess. Everything is so okay in her world. Girl d economy is tight in our families not all of us are lucky

[@sarahmutabazi18]

Angie is sweet please don't nail her

[@anyangoveronica8804]

Wawo my beautiful pipo mummy Angie I loved yo contribution 💪💪💪💪my pumla n musawo mulondo♥️♥️♥️ohh sweet Rose n love Rachel 🌹🌹🌹🌹 thanks alot mums I have learned alot from this, moooo love, pliz I need some knowledge on how to help my father who was very absent when I was growing n now he want alot from me

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

We should have an episode on this indeed. Dealing with absent parents. P

[@judithnabunwa9903]

Wow this is amazing ladies thx n God bless u.For this in particular i have settled mi mind.i was buddened at a time coz of the same black tx "thing"

[@achandokjok481]

In South Sudanese community, you will find one house with over 8 Kids from different family members plus he's kids, he will support them through out their school life. The Obuntu thing is extreme in South Sudan.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Oh really? WoW! Is this an after effect of the war? P

[@achandokjok481]

Definitely, the war and the economic crisis since the break out of the civil war in 2013-2018 has majorly worsen dependency on that one family member who is working.

[@atutakasolutions]

Yes the intellectual ladies are here with so much wisdom. Kale mbagalanyo ba dear 🤝

[@irenenansubuga6907]

I agree to Rosette's last remarks. Tell God abt it. It will heal you whenever the ones you helped hurt you. Manuela, your heart and your mother's are unique and not everywhere.

[@tusiimeshivan4171]

Love this show...please we need to meet all of you ....put up a Q and A as a workshop for moms so that we can get those free financial lessons from Pumula....and more advise from the other girls

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

It is in the pulosesi. Watch this space honey. P

[@claireakurut9918]

Even me i want these lessons

[@justinekissiti6489]

Hello Ladies. Thanks for this show. For where the blessing goes or comes from after you helping is really up to God. This reminds of what I told my mom when she was at that moment of Mukyala Mulondo's dad I told her the blessings are coming to us. And honestly I see some things that are happening to me and I just see the blessings if My mom's good heart

[@nabukenyarrashidah3596]

Am all ears my realers Bump love inspires me alot ts the best show av ever watched keep it up Ladies your big deals to some of us mwaah

[@hanolodo]

best show ever. especially when it comes to us, here in the diaspora.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Era this show is mostly for you diaspora peeps. P

[@namudduhaliima4126]

Like Manuela i grew up in peoples homes and i believe i am where i am because someone somewhere sacrifised the little they had, so yeah, ubuntu 1000%. Thank you ladies.

[@aidahnamatovu9556]

Wow I needed this energy thanx ladies Angie and Rachel 🤝🙏🙏

[@selphaadweya]

I wish someone else could tell my mom to take care of herself before giving to her relatives. My is sick but would send money to brother to pay rent arrears. I prefer you send him fare to come back to the village and use the rest for treatment

[@selphaadweya]

I wish this conversation would make sense to our parents... I think like pumla

[@naturindabrenda1968]

Well done ba Dia, I have learnt alot from you.

[@W-NJERI-MUTHONI]

BOUNDARIEEESSSSS. Yes!!! But as we say people should set boundaries, lets be aware of abuse. Financial abuse and that should always be blamed on the victim. relatives can especially abuse their kin financially through gaslighting and emotional manipulation.

[@WynalaMwambene-vf3gi]

This z nice I enjoyed it God bless you all

[@swafiyaharuna3040]

Wow this is so amazing, I reasonate wth the discussion, thank you ladies

[@ronaldleonard6009]

Manuela really got emotional at the end. I really felt her. She spoke from the heart.

[@manuelap.mulondo]

Yes I really am

[@essy1247]

A sincere giving is joyful giving but there is sacrifical giving. As a Reverand i give because i am convicted to give. But also i have learnt to say NO when i cannt give. Thank you ladies for your wonderful thoughts. Love from S.Korea♡♡♡

[@rachaelmwine611]

Yes, God loves a cheerful giver, thank you for watching..

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

And it's okay to say No when you're not able! P

[@theressazengeya1002]

A very helpful discussion.

[@venerandamichael7687]

Thank you for a good topics, helping families from a far or at home I think We should try our best to do it from a far at home if is necessary because because knowdays things things are very bad bad behavior are introduced to our children by relatives who come to leave with us like drug use,gaysim and bad behaviors due to the use of social media.but obuntu is so good.Veneranda from Tanzania

[@shanjoeria2676]

Thank you ladies. I really needed this. God bless you all.

[@letstalkwithirenerenny]

Manuela always knows of someone ,hahahha bless her cute self

[@manuelap.mulondo]

Bwahahahahahahahaha....... yes I do

[@anonnona6433]

Because most of us were literally helped by guardians and other good samaritans, we feel obliged to pay it forward. Infact it's like a trap and should be categorised as childhood trauma 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️😷😷

[@rachaelmwine611]

Hahaha atte?

[@anonnona6433]

@@rachaelmwine611 😂😂😂In a way, it is traumatic because we are not giving by our free will but the will of our ancestors and circumstances 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

I get you. My suggestion would be to break.the cycle through your children. May they not be so dependent on others so that when they grow, they give from their heart and not because they have to. P

[@fauzanamakula5018]

Wow what a topic. There’s always going to be disappointment when you practice Ubuntu. However, for the soul Ubuntu is healing and great for us as a human. Thank you for this conversation

[@nambiba58]

Woww, this is a good one. Well, i have lived with my husbands niece and nephew for all the time i have spent in marriage, they can to study. This year we have made 13 years of marriage. Different sets keep going and coming because their major purpose is study. But i have not seen it as a burden because i dont pay attention to how much we are spending, probably because iam also working. I take them as family because they are loving and supporting. My advise is, dont think about the much you are spending, the space they take because that makes you feel burdened. For as long as your husband is taking care of all members at home, give it time.

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

For as long as it doesn't cross into a burden, it should be good. And yes...ofcourse mindset does matter as Angie said on the show. P

[@baramassarah5094]

Cheers Rachel.. U have a golden heart.. U remind me of how my mum stayed with relatives all our childhood and these relatives are a blessing in disguise..so to me I feel that those people u keep or take care of sometimes help as time goes on.😎😋😋😋😍😍

[@rachaelmwine611]

Aww bless your mom, but also I think we should free ourselves from the expectation that they will reward us in the future because when they don't we take it personally

[@baramassarah5094]

@@rachaelmwine611 ooooh yes that's true....🤗🤗🤗

[@kyeyunemustafajuma7286]

@@rachaelmwine611 That's true sister

[@Gladyness]

Pumla sometimes you don't know where the help will lead to... sometimes you will start by helping from far and once in a while they will come like to stay with you and thaiyou through helping you and they will stay there forever....much love from Kenya 🇰🇪

[@pumlanabachwa8668]

Thanks Moraa. In my view ..if you set healthy boundaries from the start (give from a distance) it won't be a problem. Help From A Distance. P

[@amanyajin2075]

Soooooooo goooooood a topic. Am for helping outside the home,lately people ain't so very grateful,so it's best to cater from there with what I can afford to live without. We grew up with a mum that opened doors for everyone and gave of herself to the point of getting loans to pay fees only for these guys to return negativity so it's from a far.

[@amanyajin2075]

Yessss the state of your heart banange ,give without expecting that's why it's good to give what you can afford to live without.

[@esthernalugwa6297]

This was a good discussion 👌. Young families need it.

[@amy2794]

Hi Bump love🤗 I’m talking to anyone who thinking of helping others or already helping but still have responsibilities of their own! Now my own is, I’ll start with this so that no one judges me! helping as a really a good thing, in fact it is Godly and that’s how important it is! Now before starting to help, you have worked or you’re working intact working so hard to be able to provide for your family that is to school your children and the goal is to set a strong foundation for them! And btw let’s all remember that our goal as to why we’re working hard is for our children to have a good future and for us to develop further! And remember that “your Goal is NOT to help people who will help your family in future”! Because that fact is that getting repaid back just comes as an additional surprise! Not all people who have helped where repaid back speaking from experience🙄! So let’s dust continue with our goal and as Manuela said we help from the little we are remaining with and that will not affect our goal to progress! One more thing, if you’re helping others just because they might be of help in future to your children and in that process you are compromising your children’s education or whatever, by the time those people remember to help your children after satisfying all their need it will be to too late for your children because time would be a gone😐

[@babiryebabrah5748]

Banange Angie you are a rare gene. I like your perspective always, it's an eye opener.

[@namboozenabiirah708]

You ladies are amazing. Pumla you are so realistic!

[@atuhamiizemark9413]

I like this topic. Sometimes it's not only about being helped back but the society You leave behind as You progress will be more of a burden "morally" E.g. If they are bandits it's your car at risk before anyone's but when You supported them, it's possible to enjoy the little You have in freedom.

[@klausking7537]

Ubuntu is not triggered by poverty but by community. And i also would say, give according to your conviction... life is full of turns and twists

[@alindadoreen6889]

A special thank u to u all ❤️ ...u have all touched my heart in a special way...love 💕 u all

[@immienaxie4103]

I am pumla. Thanks for sharing