incorrect raiden quotes

[@funnywes]

huge thanks to everybody on twitter for the suggestions! actually got a few of them in the community post the other day, so i might have to do those too. original idea came from evan, who is just a really really talented guy. give that guy some love asap, he's gonna be in a looooot of cool stuff in the future so you'd best get on it now! twitter.com/EvanMapleVO/status/1491974213351231503?t=lTYr4DVpILMiuKbHQzyA3Q&s=19

[@extradipp]

Thank you for making this video! The night-light one and the last one were my favorites lmao

[@somemf6134]

I need the image from the end of the Video

[@TylerDaSilva522]

If you ever need a hand with some other voices, I can do a spot on impression of Volgin and Solid Snake. I also have a professional microphone with everything setup

[@hmmm3112]

dig these child bearing hips baby

[@Yeahboii7648]

1:02 never gonna let you forget this

[@amjadzainal3183]

"I dipped my sword in a McDonald's sprite and mf started charging" the myth is true

[@josephuribe4305]

That one got me

[@ethanakers3922]

DO NOT USE THE DOUBLE GULP CUP FOR THE F U C K I N G SLURPEE

[@jugkio1813]

Incorrect quote of incorrect raiden quotes: Unfortunately, I did the fuck to your dad. Opinion: why tf did i say this

[@lockhd_mrtn]

that's actually battery acid

[@alessandrocoelho1861]

“Doktor, turn on my night light”, this one killed me 💀

[@jastib]

Sounds really fking clean too

[@el_rod]

So wholesome

[@Dead_head4565]

Double gulp cup is what killed me

[@cielhigh4401]

Same lmao

[@xolco7081]

That's what I call cutting it a bit too close, it brought me right to the edge of it... (chopping/cutting pun here)

[@harukazeker7039]

That "Dios mío that was close" sounds so natural and Mexican, I approve it and want more, it reminds me to my day to day.

[@donpeponcio1233]

as a latino it was pretty good ngl

[@SpreadTheGood24]

Yea, pretty good

[@andredominguez3199]

It was really good.

[@BlueSmash_404]

Yas

[@Dominated001]

As an Ñ myself i can say it was pretty good

[@nathanrist5148]

0:48 "DO NOT USE THE DOUBLE GULP CUP FOR THE FUCKING SLURPEE." -Raiden "Sussy Jack"

[@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095]

Well if it isn‘t Sussy Jack.

[@TemnotaVoronya1243]

I'm going to use the double gulp cup for the slurpee and you can't stop me

[@poland4621]

Me fr

[@collinsgichuhi8255]

Literally 1984

[@kingofthings7929]

@@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095 Bro, are you high?

[@BenMarcWilliams]

I'm imagining that when Raiden says "child-bearing hips", he's not talking about giving birth, he means that he installed a child seat on his pelvis.

[@TheCheese-11]

That's WAAAAAY better than the first one

[@mothaclysm]

also dig with a shovel (He wants it out, it hurts)

[@readytoplay7874]

I never understood the feeling of “dying of laughter” But when “Dios mio that was close” hit *I became enlightened*

[@hel_-1695]

Bro frrrr

[@Dragoncraft9]

The enlightened masses when they make the judgment call

[@obsidianfuryarg]

Spanish Raiden is our lord and savior

[@deathbringerthederanged3493]

That one had me fucking choking!

[@Lethio139]

My sentient NES controller died. : (

[@Kirbo710]

My favorite raiden moment was when he explained the whole fnaf lore

[@mementomori1553]

i would love to listen to that

[@Stehvee]

Exuse me?!

[@funnywes]

cmon man i need a break first. some ginger ale. something

[@dopey473]

@@funnywes nah, Mug

[@flamingcat1101]

@@funnywes Lean

[@zenerstorm95]

The night light one fucking broke me cause I can imagine the full conversation: Raiden: Doktor! Turn on my night light. Doktor: But Raiden, you're a fucking grown ass adult! Raiden: The boogeyman might catch me! DO IT!

[@ashlikeadragon]

DOKTOR TURN ON MY NIGHTMARE INHIBITORS

[@dhampir_days]

the boogeyman is Armstrong in the corner of the room

[@commenter6472]

It's always Life or Death with Raiden

[@ashikjaman1940]

@@dhampir_days nah it's Sam calling him a scrub

[@Re_V]

Considering Big Boss Snake believes in Santa Clause, this is plausible

[@approximatelyme3260]

"Kill and murder and death and shooting you with a large bazooker" was amazing. This whole thing is amazing. I love you. Please do a whole damn series of "Goofy Shit Raiden Totally Said"

[@approximatelyme3260]

I'll gladly hunt down goofy shit for him/you to say.

[@w.s..]

That was the first one to have me dying of laughter

[@The_mighty_monolith]

hehe my BAZOOKER is out of ammo damn

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

0:36 "My pronouns are He SLASH him!"

[@blacktemplar1139]

"Are you /srs, or /j Raiden?" "No I/u!"

[@Fuz_noodle]

@@blacktemplar1139”huh I never heard that one befo-“ *fucking dies*

[@daanhuisman1040]

''I truly am CUT out for stand-up comedy, aren't I?''

[@dnicer3486]

Listen, if it's said by Wes, it's canon. And besides, would the internet ever lie?

[@sakuradabp6400]

Why would people go to the Internet and lie, am I right?

[@foiledagain1914]

You think people would do that? Go on the internet and tell lies?

[@funnywes]

WAIT REALLY? UHHHHH NEXT VIDEO WILL BE CENTERED AROUND ME HAVIN A HOUSE AND HEALTH INSURANCE

[@tacticaldisguise]

@@funnywes The funny wes said it, therefore it shall be

[@ifw_us8510]

@@sakuradabp6400 "check the internet lately?" - Senator Armstrong. Died from a botched open-heart surgery

[@notproductiveproductions3504]

MGS2 Raiden: made to attract tumblr fan girls MGS4 Raiden: made to attract cosplayers MGR Raiden: made to attract memes

[@cyromancerthatsellsicecream]

:D

[@mrszmatan2727]

DNA of the soul

[@dopey473]

I feel like Raiden in MGS2 is at least 20% responsible for my bisexuality

[@fjnordthedwarf4004]

Damn. Guess I'm a meme then. Not even a good one either, one of the old ones from 2003 that was never quite funny.

[@macafromthewired]

@@dopey473 no deadass mgs2 raiden and that super sonic ninja motherfucker from one punch man made me really question a few things

[@EmployedDisc]

“Clearly you don’t own a air fryer” is something I keep thinking of Raiden saying

[@ImperialFister]

Probably would say it to Mistral

[@PoisonProductions_]

@@ImperialFister FRRRR

[@doomyboi]

Armstrong starts deriding Raiden over not owning an air fryer the first time he disagrees with his brave new world

[@meatkirbo]

@@ImperialFister absolutely should be in the abridged series he's making

[@ImperialFister]

@@meatkirbo A better one is to have Raiden say it to that one scientist before cutting him in half

[@alx_spencer5394]

My favourite quote of Raiden was "Sorry but this is my Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance", and proceeded to Revenge all over the place, truly great writing.

[@digthesechild-bearinghipsb2842]

1:04 Well, I found my new channel name!

[@toxas3063]

The madman actually did it

[@seachelle2316]

the commitment lmaooo

[@Stylenigga]

Im only saying this once

[@UnemployedStormtrooper]

Bro did not lie

[@theholyketchup6445]

It's been just more than a year... Never change that name I beg of you.

[@AthenisOculi]

"I'm only doing this once" One time is all I need.

[@lexofexcel886]

I honestly hope he dubs Adam Warren's comic from the final issue of PSM someday.

[@starsraymond125]

"If I keep replaying it, it won't be only once" -someone who is dumb and clever

[@lonelyshpee7873]

"It is always Rising before the Revengeance..." "These Gears are made of Metal!"

[@sewerwater12]

Every metal gear has it’s rising

[@goldfish425]

something's rising and it's not a metal gear

[@Breakaway-ic5gj]

@@goldfish425 Kids are cruel jack, and I love minors

[@healthsword9888]

"We truly are a Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance."

[@alltomorrowsfan]

@@healthsword9888 "This Metal Gear is Solid"

[@alexandras3596]

Perfection in every second you really outdid yourself Wes!! Also the images really heighten the quotes 10/10

[@funnywes]

this was the longest ive spent workin on a video, i just wanted to make it look pretty. thank you!

[@melovespoon]

@@funnywes well it really paid off! Thanks for taking the time

[@raystrife234]

"You're not bat shit insane, Senator. You actually make a good point." - Raiden casting his vote to Senator Armstrong, giving him the winning lead for president.

[@Ticketman99]

"Your father would be proud, son!" - Steven Armstrong's reply Lol

[@Paragon._.]

“YOU PUT WALT DISNEY IN THE SEARS PROGRAM” had me rolling

[@dopey473]

How did you manage a perfect Postal Dude impression while doing a perfect Raiden impression

[@funnywes]

you're too kind, im honestly kinda iffy with how it came out but im happy you like it

[@dopey473]

@@funnywes bro (sis?) you deserve all the praise you get, your impressions may not be entirely accurate but they're filled with unrivaled passion. It's clear you love what you do. Basically I'm happy you're happy :D

[@flamingcat1101]

@@dopey473 it's ok bro, saying bro is neutral. Anyone can be your bro/homie

[@PlayerZeroStart]

@@flamingcat1101 Bro is gender neutral

[@magyar_1949]

@@PlayerZeroStart i know some trans women dont like it. i dont. so its probably just better to ask

[@illusion9289]

"Doktor, Turn on my Night Light." That one was gold

[@metetural9140]

Quick Snake! Say this 0:03

[@stealthlock6634]

0:27 This one really got me. The image + the sincerity of the delivery

[@scarletcat4735]

Raiden: Bite my shiny metal ass! Bender: Let's dance!

[@WeCareAlot4693]

I love that most people don't even know that Raiden is married lol

[@mark-gj4mb]

Really enjoyed the Wes impression at 1:00. sounded perfect

[@funnywes]

thank you! been practicing that one for a while

[@imranicanovic1154]

Now this is that good stuff. Fantastic work as always Wes! Truly, we are blessed with your existence.

[@funnywes]

and i am blessed with yours friend, thank you

[@espio87]

Raiden not saying "Bite my shiny metal ass." in the game was such a missed opportunity T.T

[@TheKirbstomper]

It's so surreal to hear wes break character and go from smoking 50 packs a day to normal guy. You've got some range bro

[@Semudara]

She's a woman, actually! Either way, it is a remarkable range.

[@TheKirbstomper]

@@Semudara I know, I just said bro and guy as gender neutral terms. Plus, as the channel description says, "I don't expect anyone to read this"

[@WhenDoesTheVideoActuallyStart]

@@TheKirbstomper I wanna hear a str8 dude who says "muh bro and guy are neutral" also say "I shagged a guy with a fat ass last night"

[@TheRedJadex]

"Are you a senator because you're Armstrong? Or are you Armstrong because you're a senator?"

[@irishpotatofarmer1374]

“Dig these child bearing hips”

[@kiWi-zv8vr]

didn't expect sexually ambiguous Raiden to show up but cool

[@samuraigaming3042]

fucking what? there was no sexuality even in this?

[@joda7697]

I mean to be fair, he doesn't really have any original reproductive biology left, does he?

[@Tyranid_Hive_Mind]

​@@joda7697"no dick, no balls, and probably no butthole since this guy feeds on electrolytes"

[@kaijuslayer3334]

@@joda7697But he does have a wife and kids soooo…

[@ShadowSloth3]

Stupid sexy Raiden

[@minorcomet282]

0:14 absolutely legendary pun, i want to shake the hand of whoever came up with that.

[@ElLeonGamer]

🚬

[@manatipowa]

"Dios mio that was close" Perfect, just artistic.

[@obi5398]

I like when he says "It's Raidin' time" before raiding on all those Armstrongs

[@LoganJS22]

“Do not use the double gulp cup for the fucking slurpee” killed me for reason!

[@Tk3997]

I know right, that was probably my favorite, but I'm not even entirely sure why. Maybe just the mental image of him in like a dumb 7-11 shirt and hat, but still no pants screaming at someone from behind the counter at like 1 AM.

[@baldmartingaming1613]

Raiden would never drink Barq's, Raiden is a certified MUG MANIAC!

[@spookynerd_jpg4223]

raiden is better than that

[@healthsword9888]

Mug moment.

[@spittoon2323]

Mug moment

[@thenooblet7535]

Mug Moment

[@caveiradacaverna6713]

Mug moment

[@NullerNull]

0:42 "Boris, what the fuck do they put in the fucking sprite at mcdonalds?

[@thetdmzack2929]

"Electrolytes, Raiden."

[@tacticstonk4740]

MEMES, THE DNA OF THE SOUL

[@imab0t274]

Nanomachines, son

[@blacktemplar1139]

Inner children

[@rompevuevitos222]

As someone who never played the game, i am confident that he said "My sword's edge is as sharp as my intellect" or some edgy sh*t like that

[@selwynyoungpin4684]

no he said "Your memes, end here." in an edgy voice

[@RedRanger-ll7hx]

Why the heck haven't you played the game, go play it now

[@rompevuevitos222]

@@RedRanger-ll7hx I'd have to ensure my PC can run it (i may be falling short in the CPU department, mine has 6 cores but it's pretty damn old) Then i want to finish the games i have started (I'm still stuck with Ori) Got a lot of other games in queue like this one and i'm kind of tired of action-adventure games so it's not a priority

[@MerlinOfAtlantis]

if his sword's edge is as sharp as his intellect then this man is wielding a spoon

[@statelyelms]

"DO NOT USE THE DOUBLE GULP CUP FOR THE FUCKING SLURPEE" was delivered perfectly

[@anzyroadside2374]

"Doktor, turn on my night lights." was the most wholesome and off-character line here.

[@dfquartzidn6151]

I like how it also implies that Doktor doesn’t sleep before Raiden does, so Raiden gets to have his night light first.

[@noahdavis7570]

Can’t wait until part 2 where raiden just gets drunk and starts breakdancing to the soundtrack

[@Astra_351]

Raiden saying that his favorite genre are the slice of life has the same vibes as Canela playing Doom Eternal

[@felphero]

"It's time for Jack, to buy some quality car insurance!"

[@TheOldEverglades]

"Dios Mio" gave me flashbacks of Father Garcia, thanks FAITH!

[@TheAipon13]

To be fair. All of these lines could have been used in the game and it wouldnt even suprise anyone

[@awkwardcultism]

I would actually be very surprised is Kojima okayed canonical implied cyborg mpreg.

[@sewerwater12]

Doktor turn off my nightlight

[@netherlord5342]

@@awkwardcultism I mean... When you can install pretty much any part you want-

[@reimuhakurei2123]

@@netherlord5342 ikr

[@redeye4516]

+awkwardcultism He okayed hot girls doing suggestive things, like Mistral moaning when she puts her extra arms in and looks like she's wearing a BDSM harness.

[@mqfii8992]

Considering it's canon that Raiden referenced Beyblade with "Let 'er rip", him referencing Bender isn't far fetched.

[@poozer4113]

wait what

[@OGrupxe]

There is absolutely no fucking hucker ducker way that is canon

[@mqfii8992]

@@OGrupxe "It's time to Jack the Ripper, *TO LET'ER RIP!"*

[@lucifermagne7458]

I first played the game and thought "did he seriously just make a Beyblade reference? Raiden is my favorite protagonist in all of video games. He just brought back memories from my childhood with that line!"

[@uncroppedsoop]

@OnePlayer480 he learned to swordfight by replicating things he saw in movies, that's canon

[@TheEngieTF2]

"Doktor, turn on my night light" "Don't be such a baby, Raiden. Now go to sleep" "Do it!" "No, now good night" **leaves room** "Wait! Doktor, please turn the night light on! I'm afraid of the dark!"

[@LAV-III]

*Monsoon smiles from under the bed*

[@ProudElizabethHusband]

@@LAV-III **Stains of time start playing** Raiden: **Starts screaming**

[@windborneruzo9486]

Dark, this is why I fight

[@WhatIsThatThingDoing]

There's a Vamp in the closet. Solidus' ghost is in the attic. Ocelot is haunting the basement. And every bump in the night was the doing of the Patriots.

[@Breakaway-ic5gj]

Five Nights at Metal Gear's

[@IndestructibleApe]

I love when Raiden said "it's morbing time" and then everyone was like "😱😱😱💥💥"

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

“I don’t watch football much, but I am a fan of The Patriots.”

[@basedbattledroid3507]

This was a SLICE Video. Seriously this was fantSLASHtic, really CUTTING EDGE stuff, you've BLADE us all proud. Honestly though it's great, loved it, 10 slash 10.

[@aidennope7207]

Yea this video was a CUT above the rest

[@scottdreemurrthegodofcreation]

Sans?

[@TheRoseReaper]

I'd CHOP it up to some good delivery.

[@aidennope7207]

@@TheRoseReaper well come on man you gotta CUT down on the jokes

[@aidennope7207]

@@TheRoseReaper however that joke was A CUT the Rest

[@Darth_Bateman]

“We’re here to kill chaos.” -Raiden

[@genaroperez8325]

"We're burning chaos in the wind"

[@blacktemplar1139]

Did somebody say "Heresy"?

[@ericamcqueen5607]

I waited so long for this, it felt like an eternity. No words can describe how much I love this. Please never stop making these videos, they always brighten my day.

[@cheese4g]

"I will never say this again." Clippers: ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

[@Steve.A.O]

"Yea, I'm a mariachi, keep scrolling!!!"

[@athanasios3019]

"I'm only doing this once." No no no you won't you can't just metion breadable raiden and move past it like that. You know how we think.

[@selloutthestupid]

Bread

[@coomcharger6105]

@@selloutthestupid I loaf that spelling error

[@hailghidorah2536]

@@selloutthestupid what the heck is he doughing?

[@RxtroFSXV]

yes

[@P4R53C5]

Raiden can make Bread? I thought the french one was Mistral

[@joshplaysdrums2143]

I love this, I'm imagining Raiden botching the drum solo to Tom Sawyer on his steering wheel while K-9 watches coldly

[@sassafrassanid5718]

Raiden would be a huge Rush fan, what do you think his favorite album is

[@metetural9140]

@@sassafrassanid5718 well I think it's obviously Fly by Night

[@theonewhoknocksinasapostle9967]

@@metetural9140 figured it'd be caress of steel.

[@lsswappedcessna]

to be fair, most people would botch that drum solo, how the fuck does someone have that level of limb independence, anyways?

[@josefweese6979]

0:47 gets me every time

[@Raiden_mgrr]

sshhh... raiden is sleeping

[@slowb4steady]

When Raiden said “it’s morbin time” I felt tears run down cheek, truly the moment in all of video game history.

[@StraightforwardGaming]

"bite my shiny metal ass" perfection. absolute perfection.

[@santabakure6264]

“I’ve been waiting for this!” -Raiden(probably)

[@yazidefirenze]

"People ask me how my voice got like this. The truth? I was offered a cigarette and I ate it. Tastes like f__king charcoal." - Jack "Raiden" Sears

[@jetstreamwinds6072]

Gotta say. The "that's why I brought a gun" quote was a golden one and yet made the CUT

[@judet2992]

“DO NOT USE THE DOUBLE GULP CUP FOR THE *FUCKING SLURPEE!”* 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Swordsmachinegaming93]

0:27 my favourite quote "Dios Mio that was close."

[@HiimIny]

"there is a metal gear rising from the water!" killed me

[@christianatanque6917]

One time is all we needed, thank you for your service.

[@scarsch2818]

This video taught me that perfection isn’t impossible and Raiden’s got some nice child bearing hips 😳

[@Zer0noZ]

"DOKTOR, TURN OFF MY CRINGE INHIBITORS"

[@Vegito-discovers-the-internet]

“I am the storm that i- oh wrong game” - raiden

[@goroakechi6126]

Sam: is that all you got, pretty boi? Raiden: 1:03

[@aetherspiralknight]

Oh hey look my next ao3 prompt

[@torcaace]

*Goes to Platinum Games* this is fucking canon now *takes out gun*

[@bunniteeth7155]

Raiden does have those child bearing hips

[@platinumfalcon798]

he makes Rose jealous

[@CalysisOfficial]

It disappoints me how not enough of these comments are talking about Sexually Ambiguous Raiden

[@CleaningCaptain]

The picture's pretty dim in the last quote, so you have to really be looking to see it.

[@blogofbored3224]

Sexually ambiguous Raiden making me feel some sorta way…

[@CalysisOfficial]

@@blogofbored3224 You and me both brother

[@Pieslullaby]

I want him.

[@theoverpreparerlamenters3r436]

Respect on Raiden Metal Gear for knowing about the soda company "Shasta"

[@itsumayo]

Doktor, I lost my phone. Can you call it? - Raiden

[@spacetrainbaby3737]

I'm SO glad you included that very last line, that part of metal gear history cannot go unforgotten

[@CarlosM20]

As a mexican spectator i have to say that "DIOS MÍO" was perfect.

[@GwynC]

I lost my shit at "shooting you with a large bazooker" thank you Wes

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

My favourite moment: I’m making the mother of all omelettes here Sam, Can’t fret over every Egg.

[@TrueRetroflection]

“If you have to give it, why is it called conSENT?”

[@Live-qf2lg]

Raiden listening to Rush is something that I never knew I needed

[@machinismus]

it made me unreasonably happy lmao

[@lsswappedcessna]

idk why but seeing the root beer during the All Rush Mixtape scene broke me. My humor is destroyed.

[@CardinalSn]

"I'm only doing this once." That's not gonna stop em Wes, and you know it.

[@WeedStriker]

Jesus that last one had me on the edge of my seat. PS: Missed you Wes. Glad you're better

[@Brobihasthehighground]

Bruh a lonely game night with some Rush is actually paradise.

[@aimlessf]

Dios mío that was close is my new phrase for whenever something goes wrong

[@blyat8832]

0:09 I mean, he isn't wrong. That is something that can happen in the game lol

[@postaldude9779]

0:01 hey wait a minute

[@DaKingKayden]

I signed your petition

[@Party_Almsivi]

“Squeeze my hog!” Vinesauce representation achieved

[@maskedman1195]

Said the wrong vinesauce member though...

[@raven75257]

Can't believe Vinny's meme got here

[@XenoCobra]

MGS4 Guns of the Patriots Raiden: "I am Toast. The bread transformed!"

[@WWIflyingace62]

0:57 the split second of Fly By Night broke me

[@maximilianotorres8971]

"Dios mio, that was close"

[@constantscreaming]

“Dig these child bearing hips” is not something I ever thought I would hear from raiden, but alright

[@Ironwolf-pm7zs]

Imagine being Doctor, sitting in your office and getting a codec call only to hear 0:48

[@xvxy4441]

"SOMETHING IS RISING, AND IT IS NOT METAL GEAR!!!"

[@gay__steak]

now i wanna see raiden trying to get doktor’s attention because his night light burnt out but failing to do so

[@Ironwolf-pm7zs]

This is hilarious because Metal Gear is so off the wall that these could all be canon.

[@Shift_Salt]

It's a good thing you nailed that last one, since you'll never say it ever again in your entire life. All we needed was one.

[@bepisman8852]

0:57 Great meme, glad Raiden's a Rush fan but is that fucking Barq's root beer. He knows we're a MUG root beer household.

[@Lizarius]

Getting this in before abridged drops. This is the best thing on your channel.