Incredible Crisis - The Mad Masseuse

If you are over the age of 18, stay
Originally streamed/recorded on February 10th, 2020
Editor:
Jack Clishem
/ jackclishem
Main Channel
/ jerma985
Twitch Stream:
/ jerma985

[@empirerising501]

What an incredible moment, where Jerma claims he can't answer the kilometer question because he's American, and then he immediately proves he doesn't know the state of Alaska exists.

[@peepysprite]

That's ok, even people who work at the airport don't know Alaska is a state. "Where is your passport?! How did you even leave the country without it?!"

[@ItsDSP]

@@peepysprite It’s even worse if the person is from Puerto Rico. They’re American citizens but no one seems to realize that.

[@MaxxyBee]

its not that they dont know, its more that they might as well not be for recieving 0 support from said country

[@Hugsloth]

does america ever actually talk about Alaska?

[@ItsDSP]

@@Hugsloth Of course, it’s not like we actually forgot about it, it’s just that Alaska isn’t the kind of state that gets much attention. It’s not popular like New York, Texas, or California and it’s not part of the main land so it’s not a state most people can easily travel to.

[@imBailout]

Cool to see 2ndJerma make a reference to Jerma985, another great youtuber.

[@benweaver9151]

Isn’t he that guy who feuded with famous streamer GrillMasterXBBQ?

[@yourdailydoseofomid3026]

@@benweaver9151 oh please don't tell me you're one of those BBQers. _cat puke sounds_

[@conormartin3476]

@@yourdailydoseofomid3026 why specifically cat puke?

[@Mr_Spaghetti]

Ketamine Bad ask Jerma

[@auto144p6]

@@benweaver9151 that dude hasnt barbecued anything since, what, 2011?

[@Mat-zf9bf]

Never did I ever think I would get a blast of nostalgia from the AFV theme music in a jerma video as a woman moaned the exact same way repeatedly in the background.

[@Linkbrawler9000]

Followed by the Stranger Things intro

[@magron8029]

I legit had to do a double take that that was what I was hearing lol

[@leorys]

You dirty old man

[@ItsDSP]

No ones sexes with so much American pride like Jerma.

[@Mr_Spaghetti]

[Can read the text perfectly fine until he realizes it’s a math problem he can’t do] “UHHH I CAN’T READ IT, IT’S BLURRY! I’M AMERICAN!!”

[@chuckbatmangaming]

The "1 + 1/1" question was actually kind of hard to read, especially with only three seconds to answer

[@crab6203]

@Brokkr the answer is 2 either way so it doesnt really matter

[@theonlybilge]

@Brokkr it makes sense without brackets though

[@beanbot263]

if i was a make a wish kid i would ask for jerma to be my server at cheese cake factory

[@0xcc32sys_err4]

my good friend Radium can make that happen...

[@Hugsloth]

it would be like that simpsons episode where Moe turns his bar into a family restaurant.

[@SirArthurTheGreat]

@@Hugsloth Jerma better put the fries basket on his head and wait while you eat them

[@bobby_bretwalda]

I feel like Jerma is the kind of guy who would actually do it.

[@Hidden4125]

Jerma also used to be a substitute teacher

[@Catspoken]

“i’m Jeremy and i’m going to be dealing with you today” is a threat unlike any other

[@ImWeirdAndILikeIt]

The best part is he says “i’m GOING to be Jeremy”, as if he wasn’t previously

[@joguerra2175]

3:46 “Im an American. When they start asking me about like 10000 milliliters I’m gonna get it wrong” Next question: is about the U.S. Jerma: *gets it wrong anyway*

[@bigbabado8296]

"What is it, Michigan"

[@Chappens]

If he’s not pretending I will cry.

[@PaintraSeaPea]

13:42 i love how offended jerma sounded that this chat member didnt know he was a waiter considering the fact that this was a complete lie. Why did he IMMEDIATELY feel the need to lie about being a waiter?

[@ImWeirdAndILikeIt]

Sociopathy

[@Emperor_Pigeon]

Jeremy "Sus Guy" Elbertson cannot convert the metric system into his Burgerboy per baseball field system

[@erfaniom9576]

NA education

[@juicejooos]

Especially when the name of the units directly tell you what you should do

[@IHateNumbersOnNames]

one fingernail is about 3 cm from root to tip, if its nicely trimmed. If you let them grow, they can go up to five centimetres. If you're a fucking barbarian, they can be anywhere from 6 to 100

[@258thHiGuy]

Burgah boy per baseball

[@Mutantvine]

Jerma reacts to the back massage mini game like he's 12 and his parents are in the room

[@saucysix6863]

You’re 12

[@ChuckNorrizHIM]

@@saucysix6863 *We’re 12**

[@RedFriendGuy]

@NobodySuspiciousHere we'ren't?

[@Artur_without_the_H]

@@RedFriendGuy your'ent

[@benjamingiddens6758]

And what pisses me off the most is that he seemingly didn't actually know how to play it

[@juicejumper]

Imagine serving someone and then their kid goes “Hey it’s the sus face guy!”

[@TheLateLordKardok]

Local Waiter STRANGLES Small Child

[@IOSIRIS]

Hey did you guys hear about the guy who STRANGLED a kid LIVE ON STREAM?

[@spoopyscaryskelebones3846]

Proud moment

[@TheDaviestDave]

I don't think anybody could recognize this man's face with all of the photoshopping it's been through

[@LSClubhouse]

TheDaviestDave yeah things haven’t been the same since all the photoshopping took its toll on Jerma’s body and he had to start using VirtualJerma for on-cam streams

[@bakachiito4028]

1:11 Objectively one of the most underrated jokes he's made

[@auto144p6]

caught this on my 2nd or 3rd viewing of him playing this game. so good.

[@RestitutorEuropa]

I still don’t get it

[@auto144p6]

@@RestitutorEuropa nothing too deep i just find it hilarious. comcast is notoriously shit and their customer support even moreso.

[@cellophanezebra4663]

Made me laugh way too hard

[@Crowyth]

The math problems just kept escalating. When the trigonometry question appeared at 4:44 I couldn't stop laughing.

[@RestitutorEuropa]

And then it went to a super easy addition question and he still got it wrong.

[@tigertoxins584]

@@RestitutorEuropa He had like 3 seconds

[@swineflu6523]

mathematic deficient streamer PLUNGES from the Teeny Tiny Tokyo Tower during brazen police chase after ADMITTING he doesn't pay taxes

[@Blap7]

this sent me

[@rodanfanfuku2112]

@@Blap7 sent you where?

[@MetalMercutio]

@@rodanfanfuku2112 Tokyo. They’re planning a vacation.

[@copyrightstrike4666]

@@rodanfanfuku2112 to the shadow realm, Jermbo

[@auto144p6]

@@MetalMercutio yeah i heard you can literally outrun the taxes there

[@jbezoarjr5269]

Dude, I think one of my new favorite Jerma moments has to be just watching him lose his mind with fear while there is a woman moning on screen as the America’s Funniest Videos and Stranger Things themes play in the background

[@cortisonesss]

When was this??

[@jbezoarjr5269]

@@cortisonesss did you watch the video

[@Guymanbot97]

Never thought I would see sex happen to the Americas Funniest Home Videos theme.

[@sofa5011]

the way jerma reacts to anything with a sexual connotation is so fucking funny. he simply just breaks down

[@sycamorph]

It's incredible how many times I've seen this footage. Being subscribed to several Jerma highlight channels is a curse.

[@auto144p6]

the best kind of curse. i literally watch jerma content more than i sleep..... thats dope

[@auto144p6]

having that weird deja vu moment is always kinda funky though lolol

[@Cloakingpower]

Friendship ended with grandpa Friendship started with grandma

[@lordomega9959]

Chris Chan moment

[@auto144p6]

@@lordomega9959 LMAO STOP

[@funiboi5792]

15:12 That reminds me of the first time i saw Jerma in real life, let me tell you, funny little guy he is

[@chasemorr4110]

Blasting AFV while controlling a man to have an affair on his wife on a Ferris wheel is the craziest combination since bread and butter.

[@Aysentaro]

"Is 1 cm 10 milimeter, NO what" Jerma is a proud american

[@mauriceanderson5413]

He would be glad to know he is around 100cm I guess

[@BranchIfNotEqual]

It said "milliliter" anyways

[@coralanturn]

@@BranchIfNotEqual I didn’t catch that when watching the first time

[@gabeh1839]

@@BranchIfNotEqual nih

[@DONKINDONUTS]

Jerma is the only person talented (and unhinged) enough to bring out, like, 20 voices for a game lmfao

[@fredflintstonefan39]

20 voices and theyre all bernie sanders

[@runlock5303]

i remember having a sleep paralysis episode while jerma did the AFV bit

[@gilbertfry5539]

Not being able to move and only hearing jerma's voice sounds terrifying

[@pickypath246]

I'm so sorry...

[@nschreiner22]

Y O U D I R T Y O L D M A N

[@Grgrqr]

8:07 Jerma continues to laugh at car crashes

[@aka_miso]

Real tragedy

[@нико-р2х]

Only such a twisted and disturbed person would laugh at this type of tragedies...

[@BrochachoTheBro]

He said he was laughing at a comment that ready "what's with the AFV music"

[@rainphee]

if i had gotten in an accident and the emt’s started asking me algebra questions i’d just beg for them to let me bleed out instead

[@Grgrqr]

Jerma and Japan is an unbeatable combo

[@Brian-qg2qw]

Jerpan

[@narablackcat2789]

Couldn't hit the like fast enough on this one, I love his reactions to Japanese games

[@awesometris999]

So this is what jerma meant when he said he goes to the doctor a lot

[@allsome1o1]

STREAMER FINDS IT "IMPOSSIBLE" TO PLEASE A WOMAN

[@pee8916]

I like how he says he can't answer the kilometre question because he is American, and then immediately gets the only American geography question wrong.

[@drkilljoy6807]

Just wanted to thank Jerma i know he won't see this but i can't catch the live stream and the amount of joy he has brought into my life these past few dark years is massive. During the height of covid and lockdowns this content gave something to look forward too. He showed me that no matter how bad my day got I could still have a laugh whether it be working in the rain, I get passed on the promotion again at my job, my GF at the time decides to leave me, even when a friend shared a horrific tale of a man eating an entire sleeve of Oreos followed by projectile vomiting all over his mother's bed Jerma showed me there is comedy in everything and for that THANK YOU.

[@thebracc1835]

Jerma has brought joy to so many of us :’)

[@benshapirosgreasycock5381]

13:40 Jerma has never played Deus Ex evidently. He should.

[@Zorro9129]

I think he would unironically enjoy it.

[@TheSoulHarvester]

@@Zorro9129 I think chat would ensure he didn't.

[@CaptainDiqhedd]

ah my favorite game, with the DUWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY guy

[@robotz2129]

I truly think that jerma lives in a sort of vacuum for forgotten games, like when sear ton games get forgotten they just end up in jermas room Only few popular games end up in his apartment because of some sort of paradoxical circumstances

[@dinonatorful]

Now this is cringe

[@SuperSmith]

So sad how this game gave him comcast flashbacks

[@gab.bee123]

the way i can't tell whether or not he's serious about being a waiter or it was just so he can make a joke

[@teaguenmorehead3936]

the way he reacted seemed so genuine that i feel like he is

[@PaintraSeaPea]

@@teaguenmorehead3936 he was questioned about this in the Letting off Steam interview last year and reacted as if he had no idea what they were talking about

[@teaguenmorehead3936]

@@PaintraSeaPea on one hand i’m not surprised, but on the other it would be absolutely hilarious if he was actually a waiter

[@logans6619]

If I were a successful twitch streamer and had empty days half the week, I think I’d get a part time job for fun

[@Oujouj426]

@@logans6619 Being a waiter is definitely not a fun part-time job.

[@AjixGameOver]

Is 1cm 10mm? And your answer is no? That's the whole point of the metric system!

[@patata6868]

He's american of course he doesn't know about the metric system they measure things with burgers per bacon

[@Zorro9129]

These are such astronomically large units for him that neither he nor his pet paramecium could understand it.

[@50bottlesofpinklemonade]

the reindeer question is so confusing. only female reindeer have antlers in winter

[@Romanticoutlaw]

huh! I learned something today

[@huntercasey1995]

"I'm going to be Jeremy. I'm going to be dealing with you today." This man's never waited in his life

[@thelegalsystem]

4:00 its cool Jerma, no one remembers Alaska exists anyway

[@mpbjacana7510]

(You are sat to dinner when your waiter approaches) Waiter: *walks up to you* Waiter: "Hello-oo-o, ho, hello you two, how are ha-fthree of ya, how ya doing? ...Welcome. Yep. Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory... That'sre-thats me! Hiya, hm-I'm-uh, I'm gonna be Jeremy, I'm gonna be, gonna be 'dealing' with you today... uhhh... and! ...Lemme just tell you! We have got... quite a special today. We've got an Eggs Benedict on top of a Beef Briskruit... that.. is smothered with the best gravy we've ghot this side of the Mississippi. Welcome again, I can take care of you, but waters, a-all fthree of you?" (You can immediately tell that it's Jerma)

[@ccda3324]

That compact waiter is having a fucking stroke

[@jamespeetz4008]

7:15 confirm is spelled COMFIRM

[@CrimsonOptics]

The ambulance game is even more foreign to an American because it is generally discouraged to call for one due to our shitty fucking health care.

[@ccda3324]

based

[@SuperEffector]

Putting that Engineering degree to good work I see.

[@k4rz43]

*Local Streamer Fails to Please a Lady on Stream*

[@footbroke]

I love that Jerma got so hysterical to the point of nearly peeing his pants because he was worried that a game rated T is going to get him banned for sexual content.

[@JomasterTheSecond]

I kinda feel like Jerma's the one who _started_ the incredible crisis.

[@chrxstt]

Damn I just had a dream where this guy was talking about fashion like it was food and he said something about people rocking parrot flavored pancakes as fashion accessories

[@USMC49er]

I have this game on my PS1. Remember getting frustrated playing the Official Playstation Magazine demo disc of this game.

[@moniquesantrifcer1447]

I had the same disc. This game scared me. It had no context. Just a man getting tortured all day.

[@zaboomafool1911]

"I'm Jeremy I'm going to be dealing with you today" that sounds so passive aggressive. Like I'm a problem he has to deal with.

[@radiateddalek842]

11:56 The Giant Enemy Spider! Pew pew patapewpatatapewtatatapeeewbrrttatatabaptatabaptatabaptata

[@zombiesalmon4997]

Psychopath streamer brings bad luck to all who encounter him, singlehandedly DESTROYS entire office building, gets sent to hospital

[@rebusn1505]

And fails 3rd grade math

[@mrjohnnyk]

Now I want to see the miniature tiny tokyo tower

[@gazzardhazzard]

I’m frothing from the mouth

[@THEDUDE32967]

Local Streamer Accidentally Leaves Stream On During Intimate Moment While Watch Reruns of AFV

[@jobelplayedminecraft3700]

imagine being on a verge of death, and your operating paramedic starts asking you math problems to check if you are okay

[@Alien408_but_real]

this seems like a fever dream that is lasting way too long

[@SwaggyG_2102]

YOOOOOOO! I remember seeing this game on KZbin a few years ago, however I had since forgot it's name. Thanks Jerma!

[@Jaakkogaz]

imagine Jerma serving your table on a important night and he comes in with the JermaWalk and says "LLLLOGAME" at the table

[@Ferromancer86]

15:58 is why choosing your words is important

[@TheSeabornGaming]

Love how the Stranger Things theme randomly started playing

[@Goldiloxz]

I've just now rememebered that Dunkey(?) did a video on this and I had no clue until now that it's a rhythm dancing game

[@ctf_2fort139]

My guy jerma forgot about alaska

[@UltimateOlive]

How did he get so many of those questions wrong?

[@SkywardGamer1]

guys come on the screen was blurry guys please

[@MysteriousStrangerVA]

It’s a MASSAGE, kids. Get your minds out of the gutter.

[@sanjum2475]

Feb 10, 2020?!?! oh that was only like 3 days ago that's fine then

[@VideoMajima]

A more innocent time, when all we had to worry about was if Jerma's career was over because he played the funny AFV theme uncomfortably loud on stream

[@rasengdori13]

2.6 GPA Andy

[@stinkinbanana6978]

Jerma cant answer questions to save his life, literally

[@lemonl80]

jermerica's funniest home twitch clips

[@testedhawk]

Local Streamer admits he DOESN'T do his own TAXES and has been on the run from the IRS

[@graces108]

I really don't know why the AFV music made me laugh that hard

[@lovofofo]

Chat this stream was almost entirely UWEEEEEEEEEEEHH

[@doifhg]

Insane streamer would rather be in hospital than do addition math problem

[@mrpuddingpop1]

A reminder that jerma lost a game show because of a math problem

[@meta_blox3382]

"aRe yOu tHe gUy fRoM tHe sUS fAcE mEmE?"

[@2bagel_882]

Omega lol. Jerma Evades his taxes.

[@lupos2000]

Cut to seven months later when Tyler McVicker interviewed him and asked about working as a waiter and Jerma answered "No! I don't know where people got this from! Wait, who said I was a waiter?" I'm willing to believe that Jerma has multiple personalities and one personality doesn't remember what the other does/did.

[@wangobangy8107]

the stranger things theme coming on killed me

[@bangoreagles904]

Jeremy not knowing basic general knowledge and then blaming the controls is a move DSP would be proud of.

[@holidayseason34]

7:49 settle down ok?

[@goopfella1385]

"how do you do your taxes? i don't" :) "someone else does them for me" :(

[@budgetlifter]

the name Jerma985 implies that there are at least 984 others

[@deliocache2528]

Wait 'till you see jerma3000, the unstoppable man-killing machine.

[@Zorro9129]

This is what happened: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m5ypoHl9g9Khe5Y

[@firstname_lastname3507]

0:03 le funny grandma voice “wehrbevegvev”

[@florencec1707]

INSANE streamer BEATS students in his classroom as they DIE of blunt force trauma and lack of oxygen due to a GYAASS LEAK

[@korbenjoseph3276]

I'm convinced this is set in the same universe as the Rats Movie and noone can tell me otherwise

[@Domebuddy]

when i played this game as a kid i couldnt get past the elevator stage.

[@brandon-tb6eu]

That scene from the Simpsons that played in the beginning is better than the entire Family Guy series omegalul

[@bobbibbidy4544]

The medic scene made me think of a student trying to get the answers to his homework assignment so he can get into nursing school. XD

[@Dschoanig]

I can't get over the funniest home videos comment

[@JudasMugensson]

16:06 *GAS*

[@jandro4144]

This is a fever dream idek what’s happening

[@partypotry]

stinky streamer refuses to change after phys ed class

[@samwes9501]

What in the world is this nightmare game?!?!?

[@chumbert5]

nothing better than jerma losing his shit to the afv theme and a ps1 game

[@gilbertfry5539]

UNHINGED streamer TERRORIZES japanese populace for HOURS, BLASTS AFV theme at MASSAGE PARLOUR, IMPERSONATES WAITER at cheesecake factory

[@sintua]

To be fair to Jerma, I take more than 3 seconds to finish my taxes.

[@bobbm1]

"how am i supposed to know how tall the tower is" DUDE???? 333 CENTIMETERS??????

[@bloodblade1221]

8:40 only ogs remember chat literally screaming at jerma to play doom music over this part

[@chuckbatmangaming]

I don't say this lightly, this may be the weirdest game Jerma has EVER played

[@Zorro9129]

Japanese games are weird.