Indian React to 13 Etiquette Rules in the US That Surprise Tourists

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[@qwazse4]

Okay, at weddings, we do leave gifts at a table. The couple will open them later. This more refers to giving a gift when you visit a home. Or, maybe you want to offer a personal congratulations. Many times I’ve often appreciated the small gift (a picture of one’s family or home town, for example) over lavish ones. And yes, even if we don’t like a gift, we should always show gratitude … but we do tell the giver if the particular gift was something we always wanted. And, we also really appreciate that some people are not in a position to give much. So, we try to look beyond the size of the gift and more to the heart of the giver.

[@rossrobertson674]

I have never seen people open gifts at a wedding

[@tbarnes10]

Opening the gift right away depends on the event. Wedding - open the next day after guests are gone Birthday/Christmas - Gifts are gathered and opened later in the party while all/most guests are still there Most other occasions where you get a gift - Open right away

[@corinnepmorrison1854]

I am an American, and one of my sons-in-law is from India. I adore him. He is a very kind, loving man... Wonderful husband and wonderful father... Most of my American relatives have either blue or green eyes... My Indian son-in-law, has given me two beautiful, brown-eyed grandchildren!! Thank you TJ!! ❤️❤️ 🇺🇸❤🇮🇳

[@Tijuanabill]

You're welcome. Sorry, wrong TJ.

[@drServitis]

Can Europeans and Indians reproduce offspring together??? Or is the result of their union an infertile hybrid like a mule or a hinny born to a donkey and a horse?

[@rich3371]

As an American it would be so weird to me to not open a gift in front of the giver

[@rossrobertson674]

Yes but not at a wedding, for one you'd be opening gifts all day

[@juanvaldez8390]

As an American, I hate opening gifts in front of people.

[@terrywilliams2193]

I love to hear Indians speak, we have to really pay attention as Indians runs all the words together and hardly take a breath, very adorable.

[@helloits_morgan]

Opening a gift in front of the giver really depends on the event/situation. Also, if they don’t like the gift, yes, most people either fake their reaction and pretend to like it, or politely say “thank you,” anyway.

[@Tijuanabill]

It's not very surprising to find India has many commonalities. As a general rule, Americans get on quite well with Indian immigrants, despite some minor dialect difficulty when speaking.

[@corinnepmorrison1854]

🇺🇸❤️🇮🇳

[@ericlittle162]

True this is why we take in at least 900,000 immigrants every year and I'm proud to say that we take in as a nation. Over half the world's immigrants. I would definitely say out of the many cultures that I've been around in my life. Americans are very relatable to the Indian culture.

[@defftony]

I wouldn't call the dialect differences minor, especially compared to other foreign countries. I've had an acquaintance from India and I was there when he got his citizenship. The issue with language and accent is that they don't purse their lips (i.e. make a rounded shape) but rather keep them flat the entire time they talk. This is very different from most other largely spoken languages where some sounds don't exist but they aren't missing anything as drastically important to the English pronunciation as an entire lip shape. If you know anyone trying and struggling to work on their accent, this is the number one thing for people from India to focus on.

[@corinnepmorrison1854]

@@defftony Although my Indian son-in-law is Sikh, he attended Catholic schools in India... When he immigrated to the USA, he already had a Masters in Mechanical Engineering... My two youngest children both met their future spouses during their final year(s) of law school... One at Pepperdine School of Law...the other at Loyola Marymount Law School... I am proud of them all!! PS...Those two marriages...have blessed us with 4 amazing grandchildren... 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@39kelevra]

The whole tipping 15-20% thing comes from restaurant staff usually getting paid far less than they should.

[@Tijuanabill]

Perhaps it starts with that, but the result is them being paid far more than they should. American tipped employees make more than their untipped counterparts not just in America, but all around the world. I was making over 50k a year, in the 1990s, when I waited tables. Find me a better unskilled labor job than that, that doesn't pay via tipping.

[@kamuzu]

Disgusting habit of Americans is the ridiculous urge or peer pressure to tip. Why should someone be tipped for walking a plate and a glass from one side of the room to the other? I spend 14 to 16 hours in the fields growing and exporting wheat to feed the world.........no one ever tipped me.

[@mimikannisto4418]

@@Tijuanabill What state and company was that in the US? Maybe in Vegas or some fancy resort in a metropolitan high tourist area. For the average of people doing that job that is a grossly and outlandishly such a far fetched yearly income it's ridiculous!! A lot of people still don't tip for many different reasons. However companies do try to force it.

[@mimikannisto4418]

@@kamuzu It's mostly the businesses that push for tipping. So the company can get away with paying them less then minimum wage. It's the greedy companies.

[@Tijuanabill]

@@mimikannisto4418 Not at all. Unless you are working at a diner at a truck stop, every waiting tables job in current day is 40k+. You can deny the generosity of the American people, from across whichever ocean, but I lived it, and I know many others who lived it. ZERO waiters and waitresses, in the US, make less than minimum wage. When high minded socialists, from "advanced" societies that still have fucking monarchs ridicule how we pay our service staff, they might want to check their facts, if they didn't bring clown make up.

[@Jervisdude]

I think we open the gift in front of the person, but we say “should I open it now!” And the answer is almost always, yes.

[@robertahrendt67]

Living or visiting small towns some small differences: I prefer people take shoes off, no side walks or lawns out here so you're dragging dirt. If I asked you 'How are you " and you're lost or something feel free to let country people know. Giving gifts that people don't like depends on your relationship. Well known or family( except Grandparents) tell if you dont like, others just smile and say thank you, then re-gift.

[@rossrobertson674]

Anywhere that was winter or lots of rain people don't wear shoes inside, I don't know anyone who keeps their shoes on at home

[@dwandeanda8927]

Hey guys just a little information regarding the tipping that is something that is more common in America because it is rooted from when slaves were Emancipated they were given the opportunity to work in the US however the former slave owners did not want to pay them a full wage compared to the white counterparts so they would pay them a smaller wage and then suggest that the customers paid the tip to subsidize the the pay that they were not given from the employer. That tradition has stayed since and that is why it is more common in the US for Tip earners to not get paid a living wage like most countries in the world.

[@asxulxetesteronsxez538]

The shoes thing goes along with a commonality that shoes are not considered dirty. Growing up, it was always that we take our shoes off -if they’re muddy. Dusty shoes are generally fine. As long as you don’t track anything inside, you’ll be fine. If someone just gives me a gift, it’s seen as being ungrateful if I don’t open it right away.

[@Isaac-vl3bf]

It’s interesting I think India and America are a little more similar than Europe

[@sadiemcnabb4444]

When someone doesn't like a gift they usually fake it or tell the giver thanks for thinking of them, because you can be grateful someone wanted to give you a gift even if it was way off target. Then they give it to someone else and hope the first person never asks about it again.

[@barefootalien]

Heh, this was really interesting! The connection you guys made between the smile's potential roots in the fact that people speak so many different languages really pointed out a parallel there. What sorts of etiquette rules do you think comes from India's huge variety of languages and cultures? Surely as they've blended over the last century or so it's created some similar things?

[@zacharywilbur3459]

With the shoes thing I look at it as you either don’t need to take them off because it’s a quick thing/you’re not acquainted with the person or there are enough people that it’s seen as better to keep the shoes on vs everyone’s smelly feet stankin up the place

[@HollieBlack]

Also, in a negative situation like an argument, touching someone or getting too close to them while talking can be seen as threat or intimidation. Never ever touch an American if there is any tension brewing. MAYBE afterwards in a handshake, pat on the back, or hug to show situation has been resolved and all is forgiven.

[@garymonaghan7196]

I’m in Washington state and our cabs are not like New York. They are just regular cars with a meter in it. There’s no glass partitions from the backseat to the front seat and everybody sits in the front seat, so not everybody sits in America in the backseat.

[@dubirdrs]

As for gift opening, as others have said, just say thank you. Even if you don't like it, you're acknowledging that you appreciate that they thought of you and wanted to give you something.

[@rossrobertson674]

Tipping waitresses WAS necesarry before when they made far less than minimum wage, now it's law that they're paid at least minimum wage so I don't understand why we still tip, no one tips me for cleaning their office/workspace and i work a lot harder than a waitress

[@johnalden5821]

Opening a gift might happen if you meet a friend or group of friends and one of you has a birthday around that time. Or, kids bring gifts to their friends' birthday parties. For adults, opening a gift in front of the giver entails a practiced art of showing gratitude, even if you are not that thrilled with you received. For kids, who have not learned yet how to fake gratitude, it's basically what you get from the kid is what you get, and everyone just learns to deal with the reaction. On the shoes, it's about 50/50 in the U.S. now on taking shoes off when you enter a house. For those who don't care whether you enter with shoes, it just reflects a custom we inherited. I am not sure why taking shoes off was not a thing historically. In many cases, when the U.S. was a settler country, the houses had earthen floors, so that may have influenced the custom. It was always the hat and the overcoat that you took off upon entering a house. Shoes were seen as part of the personal clothing, like trousers or a shirt.

[@massF1]

Both of you, your reactions are great!

[@bluewolf5895]

Your shoes still need to be clean; nobody wants dirty shoe prints on their floor. Also, I agree that opening gifts immediately should be done away with, to relieve the receiver of the burden of having to react in a way pleasing to the giver and to relieve the giver from worrying about the reaction.

[@Tijuanabill]

For my job I have to visit people's homes and tour the exterior grounds before entering. If they have shoes on when they answer the door, I don't remove them. But if they do, I act in kind. I have found there is a middle ground of income, in the US, that wants them removed. The wealthy don't clean their own floors, so they don't care. The poor don't have nice enough floors to matter, and they clean them little anyway. It's the person who used to be poor, but has found success, that wants them removed. I too, fall in that category.

[@rossrobertson674]

I think the shoes on thing is mainly a warm weather thing, that doesn't fly in places that snow and rain

[@timfeeley714-25]

American kids learn to pretend, thank you for the sock's grandma, it's the best gift ever!

[@Syzygy77]

My dad used to buy me flashlights and other useful things like batteries for gifts. I wasn’t too excited when receiving those gifts as a child but now I’d totally love to receive a flashlight for a gift.

[@garymonaghan7196]

I don’t know about anybody else except for my mom and dad, but we always tip even car washers people that wash your car or dry them at the end I still tip them

[@ChimpManZ1264]

In the UK tipping is only expected in the finer establishments like a Posh restaurant, Hotel and city cabs. Due to dishonesty amongst employees tipping has been stopped in many places due to stealing though some places accept them as long as they tip via management. However things are going back as Online services are authorising tips that go through the company and as long as they are recorded the customer can feel satisfied they have tipped the right person. And one final note, the UK don't feel inclined to tip most likely because it went out of fashion with older mannerisms.

[@eca90fhorn]

I am American and I feel like I have to make some clarification. Gifts: Yes you fake loving the gift. And generally, at parties, gifts are opened all at the same time. The opener is generally not supposed to point out who gave what gift unless it was particularly sweet and heartfelt emotionally. It is also quite common for the giver to say something about their gift when it is opened. I consider it rude if someone points out the gift I gave when I haven’t said anything. (Though this does happen often.) Shoes in doors: I know plenty of times my family allowed shoes in doors during large parties where people were expected to be mostly outside. However, most of the time, wearing shoes indoors as a good way to anger your mother or grandmother and was rude to the people whose house you were visiting. Now that carpet has gone out of style, this is not as common. If someone asks me if they have to take off their shoes in my house, I will say “NA, it’s ok.” But I am only being polite. Your host will enter the house first. If you see them take their shoes off, take off yours. If for some reason you cannot, ask. You’re host will give you an “it’s ok” (even if they want you to take them off) and you will have at least been polite enough to ask before doing something that will otherwise irritate me. And if you put your shoes up on furniture, I will be livid, …sometimes even if it’s not my house.

[@eca90fhorn]

This is why Sandles and open toed shoes were not so popular when I was younger. When you took your shoes off it was better to be wearing socks. What if you stunk up the house?!

[@mrz1703]

I found if a person has carpeting, generally take off shoes (unless ya got stinkey feet🤣). If it's hard flooring there's less concern. Carpeting is harder to clean😄👍🇮🇳🙏🕉❤️💃🕺

[@Syzygy77]

If I give a birthday gift to someone like a week before their birthday I don’t expect them to open it until it’s their actually birthday. If I give them a belated birthday gift I expect them to open it right away. Also, I grew up wearing shoes in doors but as I’ve become an adult I’ve gotten into the habit of removing my shoes in doors because I now understand flooring isn’t cheap and wearing shoes on carpet will ruin it extremely fast. Tipping is expected and I do it but I’m strongly in favor of not tipping for bad service at a restaurant or if the person makes more than minimum wage and is only performing the duties that their employer pays them to do. Wait staff don’t get a wage that they can survive on so they rely on tips but if gratuity is always given even for poor service then there’s no real drive for them to perform.

[@karenedwards6713]

Where I live there are a many people from India and we get along good. One thing a friend of mine that's not American tells me is weird is how we treat our pets. We keep pets in our homes and most people treat them like a child. My friend thought letting animals sleep in our bed with us was crazy. Americans are crazy about our fur babies. Since my son is grown and swears to never have kids, my husband and myself love and spoil our cats and dogs. How do you treat your pets in India(?) or any other country?

[@kamuzu]

So refreshing to see an Indian woman with the freedom and strong personality to be able to show her shoulders and arms........she is one in a million.

[@righteousrebellious2330]

come to india indian women wear much short clothes than her i mean atleast in cities

[@kamuzu]

@@righteousrebellious2330 well maybe when very very close to home or at a high end hotel but to see a young woman in that top blouse with open shoulders and arms out in the street in India? Never.......and if you did she would be harassed and on the verge of being stoned. I have been to India many times from north to south........I speak from my own experience.

[@mimikannisto4418]

@@kamuzu Wow.

[@righteousrebellious2330]

@@kamuzu you have never been to college campuses in India. Young girls wear whatever they want.

[@kamuzu]

@@righteousrebellious2330 yes of course, because it is a contained atmosphere of like minded people.........(like their own family compound)............any of those young girls from campus going out in street in Kolkata, Jaipur, Dehli, Ahmedabad or Rajkot would be vilified.......

[@Sunset553]

I didn’t know about the gift rule. I’m really bad at acting pleased when I’m not. I take gifts home. I think I’m bad at recognizing the polite indirect ways of saying “no”. I was born in the U.S. but I’m socially awkward

[@rossrobertson674]

I've never been to a wedding where they opened gifts

[@Sunset553]

@@rossrobertson674 good point. I didn’t think of weddings. I was thinking of gifts I’ve received, which is basically Christmas time.

[@PongoXBongo]

In the US, just thank the person for "the money". No need to specify the amount or count it in front of everyone. Same with gift cards, just say "thanks for the Amazon gift card" instead of "thanks for the _$50_ Amazon gift card".

[@eTraxx]

Please. Applying "Rules" for the US is no different than applying "Rules" for India. Both countrys are large and have a VERY diverse population with often very diverse ways.

[@Tijuanabill]

Would you feel better if they said, "General rules?"

[@wilsard]

15-%20 no. it's 10%. unless it's christmas.

[@PerthTowne]

You don't always open a gift in front of the giver in the US. Some people like to do that, but a lot of people don't. It depends.

[@chris5947]

15-20% is even considered not enough these days (w t f) - restaurants shouldn't be allowed to get away not paying livable wages up-front.

[@firedragon7694]

If you get a gift even if you don't like it you still thank them for the gift, and do not complain about the gift. As it would be rude be to complain about the gift. It is the thought behind the gift more than the gift itself that in important to americans.

[@J3scribe]

Never tip more than 10%, unless you feel generous. Clean up after yourself, don't be a fkn slob. Life Lesson #1 We all have to live together, may as well keep it casual. Respect personal space. It adjusts as time wears on. There is no agreed upon etiquette for gift giving/opening in America. Lots of variables, just like any other social exchange.

[@johndoeman9187]

He left out some very very important ones. Don't fraternize with children you don't know unless their parents are very close by. Americans are very protective parents. Also don't give money gifts except to your children or grandchildren. Don't offer a black person fried chicken, watermelon, or cornbread unless he or she asks for it. In terms of the gift giving you are supposed to pretend to like it. In America taking off your shoes is a sign of making yourself at home. You shouldn't do that in America at another person's house unless you are staying the night.

[@internalharm]

Smile does not apply to Arizona and maybe New York lol.

[@kris23_x]

The gift thing doesn’t apply to money gifts

[@jamesbuchanan1913]

You normally don't give money in the us, but if you do it is a little more secretive.

[@jameschavez1679]

Hello! If we get a gift we don't like it is very important to lie and make the gift giver that you do like the gift as to not make them feel bad.

[@gregweatherup9596]

The shoes thing is far from universal. If it’s a Christmas gift being given (in the days ahead of the holiday) you’ll usually ask if the giver wants you to open it then-and-there or wait till Christmas.

[@ajruther67]

It's perfectly normal to add your own spices and such to your food anywhere! I have a friend that brings his own hot sauce, Tapatio in a little bottle to put on his food no matter where he is. He also loves to add lime juice to his food so he always asks for limes. I like extra salt in food so in many restaurants you will see salt and pepper shakers on all the tables and ketchup as well.

[@Maeshalanadae]

Okay, it would probably have to be plain naan for me to ask for anything extra with good Indian food, you guys know flavor and spices even better than we do. There’s three topics pretty universally known to not bring up in casual conversation here. While you will certainly have the right to do so, the polarizing effect that politics, religion, and guns have here, it’s just not a good idea to mention, in general public. Not unless the topic is somehow broached in a smooth manner, particularly with those you’re close with.

[@donlapham1265]

All true!

[@markwise9138]

I have to disagree with the being loud thing. What is ok in New York City isn't ok in Nashville In more rural areas, being boisterous or too animated in public is rude.

[@broadband01]

please react to [countries england has invaded ]

[@Grigsy]

If you ever come to the US, Chicago Specifically, I'll take you both out to a nice local bar- just a warning, never order fish in the US unless you are on the East or West coast.

[@gertexan]

What!?!?! What about the 1,631 mile coast of the Gulf of Mexico? What about fresh water fish? I think you need to get out more.

[@Shut-Up-And-Read]

Alot of these are affected by where in the United States you live, Each state has its own unique things and etiquette, especially big differences between northern states and southern states, when it comes to hospitality and respect and how you are greeted and welcomed. You also notice big difference in accents not only from state to state but in some areas different counties have slight differences.

[@BadassVideos]

And if you are an american in another country and you think it may offend the restaurant to ask for condiments, remind them you are an American and ONLY AMERICA MATTERS.

[@BadassVideos]

the rule is 15% and that's it. not 20%. that's insane

[@BadassVideos]

Big cities. Be careful with that small talk. I did that in New York... turns out the guy I was talking to was gay. He thought I was gay and later hit on me. I was horrified.

[@clockinthewalls]

Why were you horrified? I had a a guy hit on my and even though I'm not gay I just took it as a compliment.