Indiana Jones 5 - No More Heroes

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thanks to Ozkii & Mr Brown for their help with this video. Links to both channels are in the description. Give them a sub! Audio might be a bit peaky for the first 30 minutes because I am an idiot.

[@TheEclecticGoat]

lol - "audio might be a bit peaky for longer than most videos on KZbin but will be only a small fraction of this Mauler-esque epic."

[@mr.dunavich9482]

Let me check my schedule for the next 73 minutes; I need time to prep myself for another round of commentary over a disappointing film.

[@samuelaritan3766]

If The Last Crusade ended somewhere in 1939, they had at least two years for other stories before the capstone story of The Spear of Destiny as a Monuments Man during WWII. 1939- The Shroud of Turin 1940 - The Armaments of Kings Young Shortround asks Indy for help to stop and English excursion from stealing Chinese relics by way of Hong Kong. He could be becoming an archeologist himself, and we could learn Indy was helping him pay for school etc. (I recognize timeline might be iffy for this plot, but it would have been cool to see Shortround again, and it would structure the second trilogy in a similar manner as the first one, as well as injecting new myths from around the world.) 1942-1944 The Spear of Destiny Opening scene, Indiana Jones chase scene in France where he learns about the presence of The Spear of Destiny, (but they don’t completely ruin the story we actually wanted by calling it fake). He also has an internal struggle of what museums should and actually do represent, because he abhors the concept of Hitler’s museum and and how they were getting the relics to fill it.

[@zatoichi3652]

That cia drone bit was hilarious! Well done👏👍

[@Cursed0rDamned]

The flute was a nice touch I loved it

[@alariaaurora8456]

You know, if 10 years ago someone told me that “in the next 10 years Hollywood will become so shitty that you’d rather spend 3.5 hours watching a critique of your favorite franchise rather than watching an actual movie from that franchise” i’d call him crazy but look where we are

[@o.w.i.m]

I was thinking nearly the same thing but more like 15 years back.. cause only ten and I'd be going, "Hmm, yeah that doesn't sound totally implausible."

[@Nevyn515]

True, because I enjoyed this and am definitely not going to bother watching the film.

[@JohnDoe-vm5rb]

I'm not even 42 minutes into this and I already want to stop. Not because the essay that doubles up as a hatchet job is bad, but because christ this film it's critiquing.

[@slain1930]

Had this thought 15 mins in I believe most watch cause we want it to get better

[@leonardpimentel5865]

The best thing to come out of Hollywood in the last 10 years is, however indirectly, this channel.

[@master_samwise]

The takedown of Disney as the anti-Indiana Jones who simply cannot leave relics in the museum is absolutely poetic.

[@cyruscowan912]

Love your content, Master Samwise.

[@loicbosman4739]

Yep. Also I watch your videos, hellew

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thanks! It really began as a face melting joke and the rest of the metaphor just unspooled itself. We’d love to have you on BSUP if you’re ever free on a Monday night?

[@master_samwise]

@@loicbosman4739 Hello there!

[@master_samwise]

@@TheLittlePlatoon I would be happy to join you, Cynic, and friends!

[@Nobody-ud6ou]

I always interpreted "it belongs in a museum" as "it needs to be protected and displayed so everyone can see important parts of the past with their own eyes." I don't think it's hard to see why it applies to old movies.

[@pensandshakers]

This same sentiment has been repeated by prominent Egyptologists - actual Egyptians, to be clear - on why Egyptian artifacts should remain on display in foreign museums. Because seeing the past inspires curiosity about it and a desire to understand the culture. And that is, ultimately, the point of preserving history.

[@shcdemolisher]

@@pensandshakers Indeed! Preserving the past so you protect the future.

[@buntado6]

@@shcdemolisher "There's people that prefer to destroy heresy than to preserve history", that's the most important line to me.

[@SammEater]

​@@pensandshakersAs someone that loves egyptian history my curiosity pretty much was born from films like Indiana Jones and going in museums back in my school days.

[@Kurai_69420]

I still can't get over how the nazis' plan is to go back in time and kill Hitler. This isn't even a shark jump, this is a rocket-powered motorcycle doing a triple backflip over a pool full of cloned megalodons.

[@ShadowSonic2]

It's smarter than most other Nazi Time Travel stories.

[@thatguy-dh1qh]

​@@ShadowSonic2only because the bar is so low 😂

[@vercing1324]

Theres a Lot of modern nazis who addimited Hitler was a stupid... They are all stupid.

[@ZeitgeistRuminator]

Hey Mr Statham, I think I've got an idea for The Meg 3....

[@mcroach2198]

No it kinda makes sense since most of the bad decisions in the second half of the war were direct orders by Hitler. A lot of SS officers wanted to get rid of him by the end so that makes a bit of sense

[@Max-lx2bh]

To this day...hearing his dad call him by his real name and telling him to let it go still hits me hard. Between Indys shocked face and his dad's I finally get it now...perfect ending to their story.

[@cronid9623]

Rachel Weisz, in The Mummy, perfectly captured the "educated, elegant and beautiful heroine" far better than Waller-Bridge could ever dream of. And she never seemed out of place in the film's time period.

[@SpartyCubsFan]

Fantastic point and example

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The Mummy is still the best Indiana Jones Film since Last Crusade.

[@bethanywallace8575]

Evelyn is one of the best characters ever

[@AR-mi9cv]

Agreed

[@kevinmccabe7263]

Rachel Weiss is exactly who Phoebe Waller-Bridge thinks she is: stunningly beautiful, classy, witty, intelligent, and charming. Instead she's more like a petulant deer.

[@interregnum_]

"Kennedy won't be assassinated until six years ago" was the slyest line in a video full of delightfully sly lines. Well done.

[@RobotTanuki]

I forgot the line was about JFK and for a moment my brain went to Kathleen Kennedy and I was simultaneously surprised and filled with momentary bliss.

[@osmanyousif7849]

I know I shouldn’t, but I hope the dude who does so, actually tells Kennedy on live TV, “What do you get when you take a beloved franchise, and treat it like trash? I’ll tell you what you get. YOU GET WHAT YOU- (BLEEPING COLOR CYCLES APPEAR….)”.

[@Ett.Gammalt.Bergtroll]

@@RobotTanukiThat’s what they truly should’ve used the Dildo of Time Dilation for.

[@jasongilstrap3305]

I kinda like Tall Square as being delightfully sly.

[@interregnum_]

@@jasongilstrap3305 The only disqualifying thing about that is that it is--by necessity--a repeating (and of course very amusing) gag, so it's only sly in that he doesn't call out why he's doing it. (Compared to, say, his Harvey Weinstein "the _force_ is female" line, which is a knife so sharp it's barely felt as it slips between the ribs.) Regardless, I give Platoon a lot of credit for his restraint in this video: I'd have been too proud of some of these lines to not point them out.

[@lance134679]

I always like the way the older films portrayed elderly characters as wise, maybe a bit set in their ways, but able to pass on the benefit of their experiences to the younger generation. Henry Jones, Sr. was such a character. Obiwan was, too. But the new movies have no reverence for older male characters, it almost seems like they resent them and the audience for cherishing them.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Some hate old men, I think a great many more just don’t understand them. They don’t mix with older men, they’re not as familiarly close with their grandparents as we used to be, so they lack experience - and many of them aren’t old or wise enough themselves to have the “hey, maybe dad was right” moment.

[@lance134679]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Yes, being old doesn't make you wise, but it's what I would hope for my fictional heroes. I actually thought the reason for their treatment of legacy male characters was more about the colonialist patriarchy or something like that. 😄

[@ironwolf56]

That's a microcosm of the mindset and teachings of new Progressivism: all old things and ideas must be wiped away because there is no benefit from them.

[@ProjectRedfoot]

A lot of it feels like a film maker's way of being like, "SCREW YOU, DAD!" or, "PLEASE, NOTICE ME, DAD!"

[@kxkxkxkx]

@@ironwolf56 "cultural revolution" is what they called it in China back in the 1960s🚩

[@tranquilthoughts7233]

Whoever wants to see the actual Lance of Longinius can see it at the Imperial Treasury at the Hofburg Palace in Vienna. There's also a replica of the lance of longinius that Otto III had made in 1000 to gift to the duke Boleslaw I of poland when he delcared him as "socius et amicus". That replica today can be found at the Wawel royal castle in Krakow. The actual Antikythera mechanism was found broken into three main fragments all lumped together in one clump. Currently, due to reconstruction and conservation efforts it is broken up into a total of 82 seperate fragments. All fragements are currently in posession of the National Archeological Museum Athens and can be seen there.

[@OLOHEKAI]

I’ve seen the Lance in Vienna That is a very interesting place as I’d not really seen religious relics prior to going there.

[@jjj5413]

Does it get a holy buff two handed R1?

[@Ash_Rein]

De-aging means nothing if they can’t make the voices sound younger. People are forgetting how important audio is. In some ways it’s 10 times more important than any visual because it’s what connects us to what we’re seeing and makes us actually believe what we’re seeing.

[@brentcrosby7109]

De-aging "is" the problem.💡

[@liamphibia]

I'm not even a massive Indiana Jones fan, but I speak for all of us when I say I am so sick and exhausted of companies taking classic beloved movie franchises and utterly ruining them and stripping away what made them so fun and successful in the first place. Some time to be alive.

[@-MrFozzy-]

Honestly, sir…….this is a very very long phase. A extremely traumatic and soul crushing phase, but a phase nonetheless….it WILL end, WE will end it. This is the beginning of audiences, or the lack of audiences having a lot of power to force change…and it’s coming, if only for the reason that there are only very few franchises thankfully unaffected, and therefore the phase MUST end. People are very sick of the past 10 years of systemic demolition of everything we held in such high regard. This phase of cinema will be eventually looked upon as the early overuse of cg upon its inception….shocking, something to be learned from and most of all…embarrassing. It will force studios to evolve and adapt because if they don’t we won’t show up and give them money anymore. That coupled with widespread criticism with social media along KZbin criticism…the studios are in for a short, sharp drop

[@SirBlackReeds]

Well, Oklahoma has decided to take on Disney World.

[@TheDutchGhost]

If there is going to be any kind of recovery, and I really have my doubts, we will be needing a lot of new ideas for characters and worlds. A lot of old IPs are so 'damaged' that they would require a reboot, and if that happens you can be assured that studios will go for nostalgia, or the rebooted version has barely anything in common with the original but names. Overuse of nostalgia will this era of movies also be remembered for. And the should add terrible character and story writing to that as well.

[@stephentucker2714]

This one really wasn't all woked out. BUT, that's why it did so bad. 1. Disney has chosen poorly in years past by destroying franchises nobody wanted another destroyed. 2. Phobe is so hated bc of her woke crap they were mostly protesting her. Both are valid reasons to not dee it in my opinion though the movie was actually good for what it could be.

[@TheDutchGhost]

@@stephentucker2714 Ignoring the social political stuff for a moment, storywise the story of Dial of Destiny is also very average. This is not an exciting adventure any more but rather old Indy going through the moves with the plot device of time travel thrown in (and often when writers resort to time travel it means that they are out of ideas). How much I think recasting Indy is wrong as I think Indiana Jones is an 80s/90s thing that is best continued in comics, books, and video games, a new actor cast as a younger Indy at the start of his adventures would have worked much better.

[@hothotheat3000]

Makes no sense for a wannabe rebel like Mutt to enlist in the Army. He’d be the last guy to go to Vietnam.

[@AceHaBeats]

Unless his dad really didn't want him to, in which case...

[@rubydoo3307]

Add to this how George Lucas and his generation viewed Vietnam in general, you know he wouldn't write it like that.

[@Gloops01]

And Mutt, aged 29 when the war starts (assuming he's the same age as Shia LaBeouf was in Crystal Skull, set in 1957), would be too old for the draft, which was 18-26.

[@corbin_4738]

Maybe I missed it or am writing my comment too soon, but how did his son die? I know he said off screen, but did they give a reason?

[@kingstevie2355]

​@@corbin_4738 No reason is said. Just that he died in the Vietnam War. The quickest way for Disney to write him off and give no story for the poor dude

[@kentarfunk]

Indiana has truly gone from having a career digging around in ruins to having a career in ruins.

[@graphicsgod]

Ah ha ha!! ..I see what you did there.

[@kirkshanghai]

HA!

[@AC-hj9tv]

Thanks Disney aka Cringney

[@hideousruin]

I'm such a f## I teared up at the "Indiana - let it go" scene. There is so much genuine paternal love and guidance conveyed in so few words with that soft tone Connery used. There is more genuine feeling in that moment than a dozen modern Disney movies.

[@kevinkerwin4118]

Come to terms, already, sheesh.

[@Goodbutevilgenius]

Such a fan!

[@cmcculloch1]

Little platoon never fails to impress that he can go 3+ hours without repeating himself, become dull and been entertaining and interesting with well reasoned intelligent points

[@ghostprojekt]

"And that's how I saved Hitler" -Indiana Jones, 2023.

[@matthewcollins4773]

He did get the man's autograph. Clearly a fan.

[@Garrus1995]

Saving Hitler isn’t a bad thing to do. After all, Hitler did kill Hitler.

[@alexfriedman918]

If Hitler hadn’t existed, to whom would the Progressives compare all of us?

[@PittsburghSportsFan43]

Better to let the guy you know will lose go on than risking a new one succeeding and completely changing life as we know it.

[@charissa6648]

​@@Garrus1995This is hard to comment on, because it is true. However, the 6 million Jews, and others would disagree with that sentiment. This is too philosophical to me and too much could change or should be change... However, why they thought this was a good idea to put in an Indiana Jones movie is wild.

[@TheGourdKing]

This video belongs in a museum. Well done, Platoon. Very well done, indeed.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thanks!

[@zephloe]

I disagree as the video being in a museum would also get a fraction of the movie in a museum, and that should not happen with its awful quality.

[@PhattyBolger]

Helena: "You're an aging grave-robber" Indy: "Part time"

[@HL3AlcAida]

With social support because i never payed in the pension found.

[@0ctopusComp1etely]

You know what I respect most about you Platoon? You never shy away from praising the things you like in the things you hate. No matter how meticulously you had to dig to find it, no matter how brief the moment, if you see something you like surrounded in a absolute mountain of turd, you still take the time to hold it up and say "This one little thing really wasn't that bad". It can be hard sometimes to not grow blind with hate, but I can always count on you to praise something when you think it deserves it. Even if really most of what I've seen you review is THAT BAD overall.

[@teddyharvester]

Another Indy film after so many years COULD have been something. As you've said - bring back Mutt, and as many other people have said - bring back adult Shortround - they could both handle the action scenes, while old man Indy could play the wise mentor role, brain their way out of situations, and generally serve as the repository of knowledge and wisdom. You could even still have him be done with all of it at the beginning but have the combo of his son and everyone's favourite kid sidekick be what brings him back for one last adventure. But nooo, they needed to have another unbearable KK self-insert.

[@ShadowSonic2]

So women are bad, got it

[@OLOHEKAI]

Excellent idea honestly How about this: Mutt is MIA not dead, because he is in Asia Short Round helps Indy to rescue him from the POW camp

[@blooharrison8105]

Would have loved more short round.

[@canuck21]

At least Crystal Skull gave Indy a perfect ending and his heroism is intact so I still consider it canon.

[@SirBlackReeds]

Also, Spielberg may have been responsible for the film's shortcomings. Quentin Tarantino did say that once directors hit a certain age, they change.

[@dannypalin9583]

Indy and Marion getting married was the best part of a terrible movie. Then along came the Disney takeover and one of the first things that's established is that they got a divorce. The writers are projecting.

[@shawklan27]

​@@dannypalin9583agreed

[@sortedevaras]

​@@SirBlackReedsyes, they learn when not to give a crap. Spielberg probably saw the monkey swinging, aliens, and giant ants in the script, didn't say anything because Lucas is his buddy and just mentally checked out.

[@canuck21]

@@sortedevaras Spielberg did say that aliens shouldn't be in it but Lucas kept insisting and insisting then Spielberg simply relented.

[@Yarblocosifilitico]

"I said: my biggest fear is making a bad movie" the way he looked at her while stating that was so telling. Also, btw, it seems he was playing himself in that psychiatrist show (it's pretty decent; kinda funny and has good moments).

[@Magikarp-4ever]

@Yarblocosifilitico Ford ain't no moron, he did it for a paycheck, he knew it was bad especially when he got injured, so he was literally both being a professional serious actor and telling her his biggest fear is making a bad movie and letting down his fans essentially, and they laugh not caring less because they've never suffered consequences lol

[@matthewcollins4773]

I really appreciate how you don't just simply make the observation/joke about "belonging in a museum", as others would, but actually explore at length the significance of the idea and what the observation reveals about current mass-produced entertainment. Good stuff, very good stuff.

[@blackosprey2219]

This is what sets Platoon apart from the majority of other critics, he goes an extra mile to substantiate his complaints. He never just stops at "movie bad" or "writing bad" he really digs into the thematic failures of each subject and brings on some relevant comparisons. Plot nitpicks are good fun but he really highlights whatmakes stories meaningful and how these messes lack that.

[@Linkman247]

Couldn't agree more. The irony is Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for all it's flaws (of which there are many like an overuse of CGI), It still offered a better sendoff to a beloved character (again) so many years after Last Crusade already had done so. There is one line in Dial of Destiny that made me roll my eyes. Indy says to Sallah... "This isn't an adventure...those days are long gone." Like what the fuck are you even doing in a 5th Indiana Jones film if it's not an adventure. The fucking series built on "If adventure has a name it must be Indiana Jones!" Harrison Ford may have been in costume in a film bearing the Indiana Jones title...but Indiana Jones was not in this adventure...sorry...film.

[@Tim_the_Enchanter]

Harrison Ford's greatest fear is making a bad movie ... but that doesn't seem to prevent him taking the money and making them anyway.

[@fools_opinions]

I suppose we should at least applaud him for facing his fears

[@josephsalmonte4995]

He had no choice mate. He was bound by contract as so many actors are. That's why they have millions of pounds but still do shitty shows, films & ads into their 70's when by choice, they would've retired young.

[@retsaMinnavoiG]

I really doubt that Harrison Ford was bound by contract to do anything past Star Wars 6 or Indiana Jones 3... To be fair I think the Force Awakens was individually a good movie but he surely knew that Indiana Jones 4/5 and the Star Wars sequels were probably going to be bad before he signed onto them. He said that but what he really meant is that it would take a truckload of money to make him sign onto a bad movie. I think it's far more likely that the reason respected older actors are willing to do these big budget movies is simply to leave their families more money (especially because inflation means the pay check they got from a movie thirty years ago doesn't mean anything if they didn't invest it).

[@soulsolid6576]

This ended up in my recommend by pure chance. I've been begging for long content like this for ages as lots of videos nowadays are more aimed at "short attention span" audiences. Bless you sir.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’m glad you liked it!

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

If you appreciate long film analysis content, one of the big names is MauLer. Long book content is spearheaded by KrimsonRogue.

[@awesomehpt8938]

“Just let me die” is that meant to be Indy wanting to die or the little platoon wanting to die after watching that awful movie?

[@magma_fire_bagwan]

Both

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It is indeed both.

[@osmanyousif7849]

Or Harrison Ford's reaction when doing this garbage movie.

[@asd35918]

The sniggering disdain and anti-charisma in all the Helena stills are amazing. Well done.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Pretty much impossible to avoid that - it’s just how her face works!

[@SC0RCH3er]

33:55 I understand it might appear to make sense to "attack the undefended bridge", but the thing is that destroying a bridge using WW2 planes is actually pretty hard, even with a heavy bomb ordinance you need to hit very specifically to damage it (and you have absolutelly 0 chance with MGs or cannon direct fire), this is why the british developed the "Grand slam" aka Seismic bomb which burrowed deep into ground and created "micro" earthquakes and that bomb weights 10 tons and needs to be carried by a modified Lancaster bomber. To severly damage a train you only need several .50cal to put a few holes to the train engine, that also means it make sense to put an AA vagon with 20mm flak (which is generally usefull only against strafing runs) to important military trains. This is why air attacks against trains were common and done adhoc by fighters/fighter bombers while destroying bridges needed to be done strategically and planned ahead with bombers (unless it was an emergency like when allies captured the bridge at Remagen and Luftwaffe tried to throw anything it had left on it). But I call BS on nightime strafing run, that would have been near suicidal for the pilots.

[@SammEater]

KK undoing the happy ending of Crystal Skull to make Indy basically have the exact same arc that Han Solo had in Force Awakens shows how much she despises the character and anyone that cared about the franchise.

[@sarcatstix]

Shaw is a wonderful example of wish fulfillment -contrivance fan-fic writing and Mary Sue style of modern story telling.Platoon delightfully illustrates how the film depicts her as better at everything than Indy and especially knows more because of this contrivant photographic memory. Whereas most of the characters of the previous films were educated and did research, explored and understood what they were looking for and thus any repercussions of the ownership/use of the previous artefacts. Ms Shaw simply reads the works of others and knows as much indeed probably better than the olds. A wonderful representation of much of today. ‘I googled it therefore I know it.’ No writers, you really don’t it seems.

[@that1chickinFL]

This seems to be the only way women are capable of gaining knowledge or becoming...well, capable in present day hollywood. Either the power was always there and I just had to briefs in myself, or grandad left a few journals lying around so I was able to build a quantum bullshit device in the basement because I had the vision he lacked. If you won't let women struggle, then nothing is ever earned.

[@osmanyousif7849]

She's not even a Mary Sue. I mean, she is, but the bigger issue she suffers from is something that I've learned in literature class when learning about storytelling. Helena Shaw suffers from something called the “surrogate problem”. Now what is that you may ask? Well a surrogate is basically a substitute, specifically a person serving as the stand-in for a specific role. In the case of storytelling, a character serves as the surrogate for the audience, as we often spend the vast majority or the entirety of the story through their perspective, rarely is dramatic irony when WE know something our protagonists don’t utilize. Now, I’m not gonna say that this is a problem in every story, let alone is it a problem with characters themselves, as it is an extremely good way to make the audience empathize with your characters. Take Hermione Granger in Harry Potter. Similar to Harry and Ron, she has moments of seeing things from her perspective when she's in the Wizarding World. Her shock-and-awe is our shock-and-awe. Now, all this isn’t a problem on its own, for the most part, but it makes her actions in the 1st/2nd book and movie very PASSIVE, instead of ACTIVE. By that, I mean rather than her being the one who pushes the story forward through her own independent actions, the plot is mostly dictated and driven by external forces. Because if the actions of the first book/movie didn’t happen, Hermione didn’t need to have any involvement doing what she did, and will be more busy trying to get the best grades and skip into higher classes. Therefore, it does create the risk of her being a bit of a dull character (Even though as the series progresses, she does become a much more layered an reinforced character, with notable flaws like her two friends....) who doesn’t really do much unless the plot says she must, therefore she, just like Harry and Ron, is simply a surrogate for the audience and we the audience can witness everything around her. One way to prevent this is by making your characters extremely REACTIVE. Take Katniss Everdeen or Moana (original, not the future remake…) for example. Because although a lot of the stuff Katniss and Moana go through in their respective films is inflicted upon them, therefore being more reactive to the things that happen to both of them (rather than actively making them happen), it's how Katniss and Moana react to what's thrown at them that defines their characters. Another risk with surrogate characters is that they, come off as one-dimensional, have little personality, or obviously no flaws. Therefore, the way to avoid this problem is by giving your characters one. Sarah Connor is probably the perfect example of this, especially in the first Terminator movie. She is certainly a surrogate character in the sense that we as the audience are stuck with her when the s**t goes down, but she’s an incredibly REACTIVE character. She also has a defining personality that we want to root for her to win in the end. Not to mention the film uses one of the greatest instances of dramatic irony to its effect. Now, why am I talking about surrogate characters and their pitfalls? Because Helena Shaw suffers heavily from them. Helena's really not an active protagonist by any means. Aside from the fact that her insertion into the story is completely meaningless, note that none of the major events of the movie are really driven or initiated by her. She like the audience, find themselves wrapped into some crazy conflict, and for the most part is simply along for the ride, while conveying what is happening in our mind as the viewer. She's also not reactive either, though. As whatever stuff gets thrown at her, she rarely reacts to it in a way really has any influence on them or the plot or her character. Not to mention that despite giving her some backstory to learn about her (although in very lazy exposition dumps), it really doesn’t have any effect on her later on in the story. As if we didn’t know that about her, would the plot have still happened, let alone the conflict? Therefore, the finale leans closer we start to wonder what the heck is her big arc going to be. Even in cases where a character may be passive for the majority of any story, it's always suppose to be the ending "where the main character makes their big move" and determines the outcome, culminating in everything they go through. Again, the examples I've mentioned with surrogate characters, is a good look to see. But considering how this is meant to be an Indiana Jones movie, yet not seeming to know whether to make it Indy's or Helena's, watching her make the final move in the finale feels absurdly contrived. Therefore, it leads us viewers, believing that if you remove Helena from the story, would anything really change? And, if your characters (whether male or female) are almost COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to the story and it’s conclusion, something has indeed gone wrong. It'll be like making seeing Hermione, Katniss, Moana, or Sarah, being given so much screentime in the movie, but not getting any development at all, making us wonder why the other much more competent characters aren't making the final move, only for them to almost do so, but these four take it away from them. I guarantee things would go VERY differently.

[@sarcatstix]

@@osmanyousif7849well said.

[@ShadowSonic2]

Helena's no more a Mary Sue than Marion herself ever was. But there's been a huge backlash against all leading ladies these days so I suppose the hypocrisy should be expected

[@sarcatstix]

@@ShadowSonic2 there are worse examples I grant you but she does precious little to earn the plaudits she received both on and off script. The issue is one of smug telling without much in the way of showing. It’s poor scripting. Marion was a far more compelling and well rounded individual and Helena is somewhat …other. I grant you simple leading lady bashing us utterly tiresome but this syndicate seems compelled to foist a type on the audience and expects them to like it. Well if she were better written I would, if the actress was as compelling as she was in fleabag I’d appreciate it more. The expression Mary Sue is a little muddy I grant you but I didn’t want to write as much as I have here, but oh well. Salut.

[@keiichi8191]

Do they ever explain at any point why the Antikythera mechanism depicted in the film looks pristine and still functional, like it was made the day before, without a hint of patina or degradation? The actual Antikythera mechanism was basically a solid, crusty lump from sitting at the bottom of the ocean for 2,000 years.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

“Do they ever explain at any point…” No. The answer is always no.

[@pantognost]

It's probably because in the movie the good british saved it from the clutches of the Greeks. Just like the plunderer Elgin "saved" the marbles from artillery of his military counterpart that produced "will and resources" for the empire's "not collonial" policy of the time.

[@stephentucker2714]

It doesn't, but in the movie it has to work lol. The real antikythera would take some serious wd-40 to get moving .

[@ranulf8477]

They even did not say how right next to a tourist attraction in sicily there is a cave and you only have to go inside and look up to see a "hidden" temple. After some 2000 years noone ever looked up in that cave? Indy 5 is so insane stupid. I cannot describe it.

[@necro4258]

@@pantognostpardon?

[@danielhill5814]

I always felt the original trilogy worked because they kept the supernatural elements to a minimum. The artifacts all had unnatural powers but all serve a more important moral lesson for the characters and the audience. In Crystal Skull they pushed it far too much past the borderline of what could almost be believable and what could be still dismissed as not possible after experiencing it. As soon as I heard time travel would be featured in Dial, I knew they hadn't learned from Crystal Skull's mistake that Indiana Jones works best on the very tipping point of what could be possible in our realistic interpretation of the world.

[@tama._.tomato]

"How did you end up like this?" "What do you mean? Resourceful, daring, beautiful, self-sufficient?" I knew exactly what kind of movie this was going to be when I heard this line from the exclusive sneak peek on Disney Plus. Other than the flashback in Act 1, which actually FELT reminiscent of an Indie film all things considered, I couldn't help but be sadden by the rest of this one. It's a real shame that no franchise can end on a high note anymore, but it must instead be milked until we all hate it. Well done as usual, sir. It's critical analyst like yourself that reassure me I'm not crazy for not singing unbridled praises for this "final" installment.

[@OLOHEKAI]

It doesn’t help that she is not really “beautiful”; she looks like a guy I knew in college. Yuck 🤮

[@OLOHEKAI]

How about this: Mutt is MIA not dead, because he is in Asia Short Round helps Indy to rescue him from the POW camp

[@StarWarsomania]

That would also be a great reason for Indy to get involved in the first place. He’s not out for treasure hunting anymore because he’s Old(tm), but he gets dragged into this because X months after he gets the news that his son is MIA (presumed dead), Someone shows up to the curmudgeonly retired professor with “news…about your son”. Obviously Indy isn’t going to leave his son in danger, so they have to get the Team back together to get Mutt out. But in the process of rescuing Mutt, we learn that the Vietcong or whoever have Religious Artifact that will do Something, Mutt was trying to stop them and that’s how he ended up MIA. Mutt refuses to leave his unit to die, so grumpy old Indy and Team end up on a secondary quest, one last time, to go stop the Bad Guys. And if you wanted, you could even mirror the scene from The Last Crusade - have Mutt obviously trying to prove to his dad he’s good enough, and have Indy realize just what he’s done and have him mirror Sean Connery’s line.

[@OLOHEKAI]

@@StarWarsomania LOVE IT! 😍

[@locokrazy]

​@@StarWarsomaniato bad disney would never allow it. Not enough strong independent women who are lame and gay..

[@AC-hj9tv]

​@@StarWarsomaniawhen does your film release

[@LoveIsMurder17]

As a German, the little references to "Jürgen Klinsmann", "Jürgen Klopp" and other soccer icons gave me a good chuckle.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Aaargh I missed Jürgen Klopp! I caught Klinsmann and Habermas. 😂

[@nont18411]

*football icons

[@connorlove9149]

Boom

[@samdaniels2]

"I bet he still calls people of colour, coloured people I bet!" Hahaha, mate, that was brilliant!

[@GIBBO4182]

Indiana Jones 5 will be one of those movies that appear on terrestrial tv in about 5 years time on Christmas Day, and I’ll choose to watch Home Alone for the 28th time instead of it!

[@GIBBO4182]

@@zyxyuv1650 what a w⚓️

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Looking forward to the splashy “Network premiere!” ads for it and everyone flicking over for another Harry Potter omnibus.

[@MegaSpideyman]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonAbsolutely!

[@tim_davidson6344]

Nah, I'm committed to watching 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

[@Maladjester]

Shout-out to Ronald Lacey, the dapper Nazi boss from Raiders, for his portrayal of one of the most monstrous and memorable movie villains. On screen for only a few minutes but makes such an impression. "And now.......what shall we talk about?"

[@Betterhose]

1:33:42 My father was a mounted police officer. Police horses go through a lot of training and conditioning so that they don't spook easily. Mounted police units are primarily used to control crowds of people like at non-peaceful demonstrations. They're supposed to stay calm when people set off pyrotechnics, scream and shout or start throwing objects. My father told me that they (the policemen) had to stand on the backs of their horses and salute while someone would fire a blank gun. Look, I'm not saying that this makes the scene believable, let alone good. All I'm trying to say is that not every horse spooks that easily. Especially when it is a trained police horse. And in case you, Platoon, are reading this, I'm delighted with your videos, writing advice and humor. I would love to see you analyze a good movie and show us how it is supposed to be done. I reckon you would have a more pleasant experience too, talking about movies (or games perhaps) that you like. Best wishes.

[@StarWarsomania]

There’s literally a term for this in horses. “Bombproof.” Doesn’t mean they are like, magically shielded against bombs, but rather that just about anything can go off near them and they won’t spook.

[@Violaphobia]

A little platoon video can take the absolute piss out of a movie and also teach you that centurions were commanders of 100 troops. Really wish I’d put that one together myself from the word roots

[@Melvin-Deeply]

Very good. I loved your closing speech. That alone is better than most people's Indy 5 videos. If you ever start putting out clips, that's a good one to lead the charge. 👍

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I did mean to do those on the second channel. I’ll see about clipping this one out.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon I’d also like to recommend the introductory clip!

[@jeffrobinson7338]

If only Mauler could write as fast as Little Platoon, rather than as fast as George RR Martin.

[@Fionalah]

Like most KZbinrs, he just got lazy and spends his time now playing computer games.

[@jonnywaldis8275]

Mauler has become an absurd perfectionist, obsessed with minute details very few in the audience care about and even less would register if he did not. I once heard him say that he records each line multiple times and later choses which he will use in the final edit, it's insanity. Meanwhile I, like many, maybe even most, care mostly about what he said, not how. So I let his videos play in the background, never ever see the editing he slaves over and couldn't care less if every line is pitch perfect. I find it great that he has pride in his work but imo he crossed a little into ocd territory.

[@jeffrobinson7338]

@@jonnywaldis8275 I would very much prefer if he'd release a 8.5/10 quality video every 3 months than one 10/10 video every year. But I'm starting to suspect he's now focusing far more on EFAP & the dozens of other podcasts he does every week because they're easier and brings in money via superchats.

[@davidhayward2896]

​@@jeffrobinson7338He recently posted about this accusation and others, the thread is pinned on his subreddit if you want to read it. Apparently the main channel videos bring him more money due to their long tails than Efap, and Efap plus the other podcasts is usually a fairly small part of his working week.

[@jonnywaldis8275]

@@jeffrobinson7338 I'd prefer that as well but unfortunately or maybe fortunately he also produces the videos for his own gratification and that's fair enough. Since this is his career I can absolutely see why he would want to do his very best and be able to look back proudly. The podcast play a part of course, the superchats definitely spare him from financial pressure freeing him up to obsess over details but I don't see them taking up all that much time. Efap is of course often a whole Saturday gone along with organisation and the occasional editing of a video on the topic. But the other 2 podcasts he does are much shorter and probably demand little more time from him than the pure runtime and even during those he sometimes continues editing. I mean look at Platoon, he's another podcasting monster, not only soldiering on when guesting on efap or open bar but having his own weekly outing as well as appearing on Mr Brown's channel regularly. All this and he has a side-gig as a writer for a game yet he still manages his, both in quality and output, extraordinary work here. I believe Platoon occasionally employs an editor though. So I don't think it's the podcasts other than Mauler not being pressured to release and I also don't believe it's laziness since to anyone with some appreciation for his own work, letting it rot and playing games constitutes torture.

[@YourBoiJonah117]

Imagine if this film had be about short round, no longer an annoying kid but a foil for Indiana, trying to take Indiana out on another adventure in order to help him readjust after the death of mutt. You could get some nice themes of fatherhood and grieving with short round being Indiana’s surrogate son. Way more interesting than this shit.

[@wrayday7149]

There is one slight tweak they could make to Bridge's character to really change a lot of the story/problems...... make her stuck in a time loop paradox. She knows all about what's happening because she can't escape the time loop but she remembers how events play out. This would explain/fix her girl boss'ing the movie because she does know everything and why she has to lead Indy around the way she does. You could then have a follow up movie where Indy figures out how to get her out of it and she can then tell him all about historical events/information she learned while stuck in the loop.

[@paulpascoe663]

I think I just noticed for the first time when Sean Connery is holding Harrison Ford when he's trying to reach the grail, that is the one time he refers to him as 'Indiana' rather than 'Junior'. Badass

[@insanusmaximus2857]

I mean... that's literally what saves his life. It took his father finally calling him "Indiana" to break the Grail's hold.

[@jjj5413]

Great scene

[@crazyralph6386]

It was a perfect delivery too. You can tell it resonated in Indy’s mind.

[@bencarlson4300]

And the “let it go” at the end hits so hard when you remember that Senior has been searching for the Grail for most of his life. He is choosing his son, who he has neglected, over his one lifelong obsession. They literally do not make movies like that anymore, not with that much unspoken depth.

[@wishingwell12345]

Indeed. Indy thinks that if he can recover the grail, his father will finally love and accept him. By calling him "Indiana" Henry makes it clear he already has.

[@laurelvanwilligen9787]

You're absolutely right about the disparity in how we view Nazis vs Soviets. A lot of it has to do with the vast trove of records that fell into our hands at the end of WWII and the relative paucity of Soviet records available to us. In many ways, the situation with Mao's China is even worse. It's amazing to me that we even know about the famine of 1959 to 1961.

[@Slender_Man_186]

Even from what we know from sure, the Holdomore is equal to the Holocaust. You owned an acre more than your neighbor? Kulak. You have a tractor? Kulak. Go reported to the red guard for literally any reason? Kulak. Think that throwing all of the farmers into gulags or executing them outright will end up starving Moscow? Well obviously you’re just a counter-revolutionary.

[@haku8135]

The reason is because Mao and Stalin were just one more dictators killing THEIR people. Hitler, started WWII.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

I’d say it's greater between the Nazis vs the Japanese due not only to records being destroyed but in the politics of the Cold War making it in both Japan's and the Western power’s interests to downplay and ignore Japan’s crimes.

[@AJadedLizard]

Well, it's not aided by the fact the Soviets won World War II and the Communists have more or less won the culture war by this point. There's a KZbinr, Short Fat Otaku (unfortunate name aside he's pretty solid on philosophy) who talks about this kind of thing: just about everything we know about Nazis as philosophy we view through a Communist lens, and, partially as a result of that, because the Nazis are self-evidently evil, the Communists at least get to pretend they are the lesser of two evils, rather than the pack of wolves fighting the pack of lions for the opportunity to eat you they were in reality. I genuinely watched someone once argue that the difference between Nazis and Communists is that the Nazis started the Holocaust and the Communists ended it and, well, no, as Platoon points out the Soviets were quite happy to genocide any ground who offended them and had plans in place to start wiping out their own Jews, plans which were fortunately put paid to by Stalin coming down with a severe case of the Dictator's Retirement Plan. We should view the Communists as the vicious, often stupid and vindictive monsters they were and are, just as we view the Nazis who still manage to exist in the year 2023 as psuedoscientific losers desperate to escape their lives of mediocrity. Both Nazism and Communism are horrible, authoritarian ideologies that are antithetical to just about everything that makes humans human and which will kill you for imaginary reasons. There is no actual, meaningful distinction between the two.

[@Slender_Man_186]

@@AJadedLizard there’s also the revisionist aspect of it, how they try to paint fascism as a far right wing ideology, despite *inhale* Fascists using Marx’s works to frame their “struggle,” using the same in-party out-party dynamics as other branches of Marxism, their views of capitalism as “international jewery,” seeing themselves as the champions again liberalism in all of it’s forms just like other Marxists, viewing almost all conflicts as inherently down to economic inequality, the Nazis having one of the most robust welfare states of the 1930’s and 40’s, the Hitler Youth program, and their use of subversion and demoralization tactics. The common basis for Fascism/Nazism being “far right” are “oh but they had privatization” and “but they fought against communists” both of which are heavily flawed arguments. First, the Nazis really didn’t have privatization, if you didn’t at least tow party lines you would be labeled a Jew or gipsy and shipped off, if your business was in a sector that was essential to wartime production you were fucked regardless unless you were already a high ranking party member, assuming the state just didn’t absorb it anyway. Second, the left always eats itself, just look at how Lenin and the Soviets treated Russia’s other Communist parties, or even the factionalism between modern branches of socialism and communism, shit’s laughable.

[@sycaccino8533]

I've always loved how goofy Crystal skull got in some moments, especially the ants and stupid cgi alien. It actually made the movie more enjoyable for me however dial isn't even goofy just a big slap across the face

[@benclark4823]

Stupid aliens VS stupid gods 😇

[@KopperNeoman]

The stupid CGI alien reminds me of the stupid puppet shark in Jaws. It looks bad NOW because effects have got a lot better, and so have consumer televisions. As a retro gamer, I don't hold such things against old films either.

[@sycaccino8533]

@@KopperNeoman I don't either as it adds to the movies charm, however even at the time the alien scene was goofy especially how it kills the Russian lady by frowning at her

[@GeraltofRivia22]

That was Lucas' goal after all. A nod to the cheesey alien B movies of the 50s.

[@osmanyousif7849]

Kind of ironic how in that same year Crystal Skull was released, a Sesame Street parody of Indiana Jones called The Golden Triangle of Destiny was aired. And it was far more entertaining than the actual fifth movie itself.

[@austinwoods466]

When we last parted In silence and tears, Half broken-hearted To sever for years, Pale grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy bliss; Truly the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Foretold sorrow to this. The Dial of Destiny Sunk chill on my brow- It felt like the warning Of what I feel now. Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy fame; I hear thy name spoken, And share in its shame. They name Indy before me, A knell to mine ear; A shudder comes o'er me- Why wert thou so dear? They know not I knew thee, Who knew thee too well- Long, long shall I rue thee, Too deeply to tell. In a cinema we met- In silence I grieve, That thy heart could forget, Thy spirit deceive. If I should meet Indy After long years, How should I greet him?- With silence and tears.

[@leriava]

That's pretty great 👍🏼

[@russellmanweller6694]

Your pretty good. can others write such poetry so well? I don't know much about poetry. This seems like it takes allot of talent and skill. Thank you 😊

[@Eisenwulf666]

3:32 What an intense, poignant, wonderful little speech, masterfully delivered. So many poweful and ultimately true points. I've got goosebumps .

[@Zero_2500]

The “Kathleen Kennedy - Witch” title card was just 👌 chef’s kiss.

[@falconheavy0533]

As one of the only people who apparently enjoys kingdom of the crystal skull (is it flawed yes but it’s far from the worst thing I’ve ever watched and it gave Indy a happy ending) I’m so happy you called out the very blatant retcon in Indy and Marion getting divorced. You’ve earned yourself a subscriber.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Welcome aboard!

[@SammEater]

You can almost see KK smiling as she tells the writer to add that in. Basically the exact same 'bad ending' that Han Solo got. Undoing Crystal Skull ending because she despises the character and anyone that likes him.

[@pedrooliveira6392]

Your ability to write stirring speeches is Churchill-like. I remember the one at the end of your Rings of Power video made me say "fuck yeah!", and start writing something. This one is a close second, very well done.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’m very glad to hear it, and thanks!

[@tulipalll]

That's awesome

[@gurufabbes1]

Fantastic. I remember Pimpernel Smith playing on TV back in the day. Good on you evoking it here.

[@wishingwell12345]

I think the old cliche about James Bond also applied to Indy in his prime: men wanted to be him, women wanted to bed him. Disney don't seem to understand that not only do men not want to be a geriatric Indy and women do not want to bed a geriatric Indy, but also women do not want to be Phoebe Walloper Bridge and men certainly do not want to bed her.

[@cyryc]

There used to be the idea of 'aging gracefully'. When my dad was putting together the early HoustonCon conventions in the 1970s trying to pitch the idea to retired stars to make an appearance and meet fans and sign autographs - there was one actor, I can't remember if it was Hopalong Cassidy or (I want to say Kirk Alyn, but Kirk Alyn definitely showed and became good friends with my dad), and I feel like Hoppy met fans to the end. Shoot, well, the point was that the actor turned his invitation with the reply that he'd rather his fans remember his on screen heroic persona instead of his old age condition. I can see that as admirable -- and to circle to the current old heroes getting Jake Skywalker'd, it's almost feels like the writers/producers are like "Oh? You want a piece of this big payday, gramps? Well let's see how you like what we do to your character!"

[@NoxAtlas]

I would have preferred it if Luke and Indiana became the wise old mentors for the newer generation. Why do we have to portray aging as something terrible? Why can't we show the transition of characters getting past their prime and embracing their age? I know the wise old mentor trope is done a lot but it would be so great to watch a beloved character transitioning from the main character into a wise old mentor who isn't a miserable cynic. That way the character would be respected like the fans want and the movie creates a smooth transition to a new generation that doesn't make the fans mad.

[@cyryc]

@@NoxAtlas unfortunately, in order for there to be a mentor, there has to be a student who learns. The dynamic preventing that are the self-obsessed narcissistic "I'm already perfect!" current-year writers who just project their own crummy behavior onto the young protagonists who just crap on history (and the idea of mentors)

[@NoxAtlas]

@cyryc True. Honestly, I have not much faith in Hollywood to actually do it right. They just take a huge shit on everything the fans used to love, force some terrible new character down our throats and when everything goes wrong, they either gaslight the audience or say nothing and let Twitter (apparently now it's just X) do the fighting for them and it turns into an agenda debate.

[@jasontibbetts9981]

You do a great job, you deserve all the success your channel has gotten in the last year. You don't do hot takes, you take your time and do a critical analysis of the film, and your insights are witty, smart and a lot of fun. You offer something different, and it really is well done. Thanks for your hard work, and congrats

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Very kind of you to say so. Much appreciated!

[@kazekamiha]

Dial of Destiny: **Exists** Fans to the Crystal Skull: Perhaps we judged you a little harshly.

[@tim_davidson6344]

I think the same sentiment applies to appreciating Star Wars I - III just a bit more compared to the absolute crap that Star Wars VII - IX turned out to be.

[@kylekatarn5964]

The first 2/3rds of Crystal Skull isn't terrible. It goes completely off the rails with the alien stuff. I had no problem either an attempt at a baton pass to Mutt, give the older generation a fair and respectful chance to take a bow and leave the stage with dignity. But we can't have any of that. Ohhhh noooo, we need to extract every last nanoliter of blood from every stone until the entire reason we cared about a character is reduced to ashes.

[@BiriBiri925]

You may notice this happens over and over again. A movie that was considered terrible in 2007 now... doesn't seem so bad in 2024. Do you remember how George and Spielberg apologized for this movie? They really did it. They said it was a mistake. Do you think someone from Disney will apologize for this garbage? Yeah, wait.

[@rush1er]

TLP's mastery of the English word, both spoken and written, allows him to whip sentences into a frothy dessert topping which he masterfully folds into the clump crusted stale shit Hollywood keeps baking.

[@jjj5413]

I know, right? So many words and they are all good ones. Its quite impressive.

[@edeyboy2931]

You know, thinking about it, this movie's script must have been written specifically with Waller-Bridge in mind. Certainly would explain why it's all about her and why she - an actress with no obvious versatility or range - is basically just playing herself as the character. Or at least the version of herself that IS the only other character she's known for.

[@leonardpimentel5865]

Absolutely excellent. Thank you for all the effort that went into this. To be clear, if you ever decided to do a four hour video of you taking Kathleen Kennedy apart, calling her darling all the while, I would watch the hell out of that. In the meanwhile, thank you for your effort.

[@osmanyousif7849]

Yeah, watching this video, makes me surprised how calm Little Platoon was brought the whole thing. Because after listening to Kathleen Kennedy and Phoebe Waller Bridge’s comments on the movie, I’d be swearing so many times that it’ll be enough to get their attention somehow. But then again, I’d probably end up getting sued for being libelous, so best to just be critical, but in a nice way….

[@TheIceMan23]

forget making time in your day, you have to make a day in your calendar for a Platoon video.. I'm expecting nothing less than 4 hours.

[@r0m988]

So thorough, no stones left unturned. I love your analysis for their depth. Well done.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thank you kindly!

[@swa7169]

It is legitimately hilarious to consider the sequence of events that must have transpired between Helena knocking Indy unconscious on Syracuse and Indy waking up in his apartment back in New York. Seriously, were they carrying his unconscious body through Rome International Airport when they made their connecting flight? How did they explain the comatose man with the gunshot wound to immigration? And Helena hit him so hard, he was knocked out for 3 or 4 DAYS?

[@TheMegaultrachicken]

Moreover Helena's punch knocks him out and not giant muscleman's.

[@justforever96]

And wasn't brain damaged or killed?

[@timelliott8763]

I’ve listened/watched your review three times and each is as enjoyable as the first. Thanks.

[@biotrekker]

These creators are not "artists". They are political commissars.

[@boombadoomba14]

You're damn right, Calvin.

[@rayray44325]

quality of the film is no longer top priority... the only thing creators are passionate about these days is to make sure to send ''THE MESSAGE''

[@vee-bee-a]

Damn, that is a sick burn.

[@gabrielescaringi9444]

No they are vandals

[@someoneshappyness]

@@rayray44325this has to be the absolute most shallow and dumb comment ever r u retarded????? How the fuck is it not about a message That’s literlaly art The message not the looks wtf U right wing moron

[@HK-37b]

Thank you for bringing up Pimpernel Smith. It's one of my all-time favourite films ever. Leslie Howard's final speech is gut-wrenching. Highly recommend! ❤

[@OneofInfinity.]

Very relevant in current times and optimistic against those working hard to bring an old evil empire back, besides technologically very little they have changed, same hate and hopefully they will meet the same end very soon.

[@imhalfdead]

You clearly put more thought and effort into this video than Disney did into that entire movie.

[@zachisebi]

Damn that little "Indi, let go" moment was enough to make me tear up a bit.

[@danzai]

"You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain" this goes for the movie industry that just refuse to let their characters die, milking their characters for everything theyre worth - ruining their own legacy - these are the villains.

[@julio_scissors]

This is amazingly well-made and entertaining. Thank you for all the work you put into this!

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That’s very kind, I’m glad you liked it!

[@jennapreston6509]

This is so much better than actually watching the movie... actually entertaining and even educational! Even your tangents are interesting. Thanks for another amazing video!

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@jennapreston6509]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon I hope you get some enjoyment out of doing this. Seems like a lot of misery to subject yourself to! Do you have a bruise from endless face palming? 😉

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

@@jennapreston6509 At this point there’s not much of a face left!

[@jennapreston6509]

@@TheLittlePlatoon so that's the reason for the animated avatar? 😉

[@IronDragon-2143]

He cannot let Disney die. We must help it die.

[@davidmckayii752]

I wanted to say another comment: The adventure is still there, the discovery. There will always be people who push beyond the barriers, seeking knowledge, and goodness. From Indy to whoever, the characters still there, still trying.

[@OLOHEKAI]

Rachel Weisz even at around 50 now would have been far better in this role. Someone else mentioned how well she played a similar role very well in “The Mummy”. If they wanted a younger actress Hayley Atwell would have been believable and excellent as well. At this point I’d say Shia’s character was MIA not dead to give some feint hope of the future. As is this film was soul crushing. 😞

[@billusher2265]

A lot of people critique this and Disney Star Wars as saying no one wants to see their childhood heroes old and defeated. The thing is, a deconstruction or a somber end to a hero character isn’t inherently bad, in fact a lot of great classic myths end like that. See King Arthur or Beowulf. It can be done well. The problem with these Disney films is they are so on those nose as going out of their way to humiliate the hero and replace him with a “better” version that is forced to the point of being unlikable. It’s just clear disrespect from writers who don’t like or understand the original story and want to insert their own values into it. Plus the movies aren’t even good in ways beyond that…

[@pennym1056]

It’s more like Disney is actively trying to Deconstruct old masculine heroes, as part of their ongoing war on masculinity. Multiple franchises have been doing that, like StarWars destroying Luke’s character and replacing him with Rey, the modern female protagonist.

[@padenbang7375]

Logan

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh yeah, it can work. That‘s why I worked in the Henry Jones comparison. People don’t want to see old heroes callously assassinated with no hope in sight and no chance of redemption. There are ways to have them defeated and then returned, there are ways to portray them as aloof and distant, to do a vast number of things that aren’t shallow “hey look it’s this guy again” approaches. But we’re not getting interesting approaches. We’re getting nihilistic ones.

[@Zero_2500]

It’s more like people critique Disney for doing these things extremely poorly and often ham-handedly. For example - you could deconstruct Star Wars - but not only was it done better in the EU books (which Lucasfilm owns and could have adapted in whole or part) Disney did it in a transparently malicious way. The fact that the 1st movie made 2.2 billion dollars and was well received despite being essentially episode 4 with lens flares and a bloated script shows that people were open to new characters and ideas. They are not open to disrespect and open avarice towards the franchise and fans.

[@noahrombough2802]

No, people don't mind seeing the hero lose. Case in point, King Arthur loses because he trusts Lancelot too much and fails to recognize that one of his friends has begun to hate him. Beowulf's loss is a direct result of his failure to kill Grendel's Mother, that he is too alike to Hrothgar, the very reasons that made him such a beloved hero as to be crowned King shortly after he arrives in a foreign land. For a third, Rorschach from Watchmen makes a good example. These are men who by vice and virtue, are defeated, even as they struggle against their foe. The problem with the modern "deconstruction" of the hero, e.g. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Indiana Jones as primary examples, is that they have willfully abandoned the fight. Luke, the man who redeemed Darth Vader, chooses to murder his own nephew, because a heretofore unknown evil was trying to manipulate him, and having failed to murder his nephew, abandons him to the influence of that evil. A direct inversion of previously established traits. Han Solo, a smuggler turned General of the Rebellion against the Empire, who willingly allowed himself to be carbon-frozen on the vague hope it might spare Leia, on hearing that his son has been seduced to the dark side, abandons his wife to do... something, and Chewie just goes along with it, for some reason. But he can then be swayed by his estranged wife to give enough of a shit about his son to try to get through to him after years of not seeing him. Indiana Jones, a seemingly esteemed professor of Archaeology whose finds often keep the universities museum open, a war hero and former spy, is now a city college professor who can barely keep his class awake, is divorced from his wife, his son was killed in Vietnam, and in his own words, "Has nothing to live for". Those are not men defeated by vice and virtue, not heroes who stood tall against an enemy and were struck down. Those are broken husks, claiming a name wholly opposite to what they show themselves to be. In contrast, imagine a Rorschach who does nothing at the end of Watchmen. Who just accepts what Ozymandias has done. A Rorshach that lies, and is utterly fine with the prospect. You shouldn't be able to because, like the others, that's no longer Rorschach; it is something trading on his name but lacking the core of the character. That is the problem with modern heroes.

[@flame__7704]

My favorite scene in this movie is at the beginning, then they shoot the other teachers, then a few minutes pass, and the bodies have magicly moved themselves when he checks them.

[@JayPhilips]

There is a trail of blood at Jean's foot where she was dragged. Serves her right for giving him that clock. I thought somebody was going to say "Professor Plimpton!" and then "Carl!-Dave!-Miss Andrews!-Nurse Adams!"... with a line of bodies out the door.

[@stillrockin27]

That was an absolutely brilliant critique. Had me in stitches more than a couple of times ("why why why... Delilah" was golden). I definitely would have paid the entrance fee to watch this in the cinema rather than the movie. Top man!

[@1701EarlGrey]

3:06:00 - that was the best thing that come out from this review; not the knowledge that another of my childhood icons were destroyed but that steampunk books about Roman Empire really exists. What if Romans had steam engine was the question I asked myself - ancient Greeks had aeolipile, a steam turbine - and now I can find out! Thank you for recomendation!

[@davidgannon5388]

24:32 - I've always viewed the astounding science fiction movie, "Gattaca," as set in a parallel Earth where we never had "The Dark Ages." The fashions and vehicles scream 1940s, but the science states, quite firmly, 2240s. (Or further!)

[@jamesverner9132]

Wow a complete and logical argument as to why filling up a museum is better then allowing the artifact to wither and be destroyed by a incompetent caretaker.

[@bribro23]

But who are you to determine that you should take someone things cause you e determine you’ll take better care of it. It’s still theft

[@jamesverner9132]

​@@bribro23that's the same as saying removal of a child from a abusive household is immoral because your not the birth parents. Anyone is capable of being shitty. No one gets a free pass, true equality.

[@bribro23]

@@jamesverner9132 no it’s not. And even if that’s the example… other countries can’t come in and take kids as a way to “save “ them. It would still be kidnapping. & only white ppl felt they have the right to steal culture piece’s from places because they said so……. So a kidnapper is right by taking the child because he thinks the home he just kidnap them from is bad…… still a stupid mentality. So the same should be applied your life and property.

[@eanderson9599]

How do you pump these feature length films out so consistently? Wizardry

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Dedication and a complete lack of social life!

[@Zero-ds9ws]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonThe only way to live.

[@Mrdel7787]

I really enjoy watching his truthful criticism on movies. I enjoy listening to his speech and the wonderful wording in his sentences! Well done 👏

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thanks very much!

[@marvingarden4587]

"I'm usually insufferable enough" Your self-effacing charming wit is doing wonders to conceal that. cheers!

[@MagmaRen]

The only good thing about this movie is it made me rewatch the original trilogy. Thanks dial of destiny!

[@WhiteIkiryo-yt2it]

Hopefully those "Top...Men" will put the script, the promotional material and all copies of this film in that warehouse for the rest of time.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

You have to hope so. It’d probably get about as many viewers.

[@dandybus1582]

My appreciation for your style grows with every video…. The Ecco the Dolphin bit was fantastic. Thank you very much for your efforts. Giving the Longman himself a run for his money!

[@blacyc]

Longman mostly hating on movies gets tired after a while

[@feathercat9118]

This is a full feature film, that had more care put into it. Than the actual movie.

[@SammEater]

The dropped plotlines and characters just disappearing from the rest of the film truly highlights that thing Doomcock said about these movies being made like a "choose your own adventure type of book" there is no actual planning, just film a million different scenes that don't quite fit with each other and then "try to save it in edit and reshoots".

[@vengfulfate2991]

One thing that immediately struck me when this film was announced is that 'Dial of Destiny' is not an Indiana Jones movie name. 'Raiders of the Lost Ark', 'Last Crusade', and 'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' follows literarily similar but functionally different schemes, and even 'Temple of Doom' has just a different vibe to it than 'Dial of Destiny'. 'Dial of Destiny' sounds more like a Harry Potter title than an Indiana Jones one. Should have been called 'Indiana Jones and the Valley of the Uncanny'.

[@golfvictor9090]

That Pimpernel Smith explanation has reallly piqued my interest. Never heard of it and I grew up watching the old black and whites. Leslie Howard is a gem! Thank you for the time and effort that you invested in this video essay and just for taking one for the team by going to see this travesty in the first place! I've been rewatching your old videos waiting for new ones and it's been great but I'm trying be patient while waiting for the next installment of the Rings of Power videos. I've even gone back over all the EFAP videos on it. Lol!

[@MegaSpideyman]

I'm glad to finally see your review up. It's an incredible shame to see Indiana Jones get treated like this. He and the audience deserve better. For any of its flaws, not even Crystal Skull went this far.

[@CyberKnightMiky]

3 hours long yet still enjoyable than seeing the actual film. And the jokes, let's just say; "You have chosen wisely". Fantastic work of art, Platoon.

[@TheRealSavageGentleman]

the entire indiana jones series reminds me a lot of the POTC series; 1, 2, & 3 were good, 4th was weird but kept the spirit, and 5th butchered everything we loved about it.

[@beaster7216]

An avid YT consumer for many years rather than interlocutor with creators, you have forced my hand. I've "been aware" of your channel for some months, I believe since you were recommended based on my then- recent devouring of all things dumping on Velma. I further enjoyed your She-Hulk work and have been seeing your (seemingly?) more frequent appearances on panel podcasts I enjoy. Pedant to pedant, my comment is you have an absolutely exquisite talent for this. Regardless of what has kept me busy in social or business life, I've always been infatuated by language, argumentation and critique. I hope you appreciate this compliment as intended: as a recent quinquagenarian (possibly the greatest and most underutilised word in our language), from 8.38-9.12 of this video is my favourite critique of anything, ever. FFS I just sat through over 158 odd minutes of you doing Barbie. Joyfully! I mean joyfully like when you experience anything done at its best. Hitchens (C) debating and verbally desanguinating, Pavarotti Leoncavallo-ing, Welsh sporting crowds anthem-ing. "Somewhere in the crowd Tarantino c..." When you are as old and cynical as I am, noting something as literally lol should carry weight. I watched this video shortly after it was published and have been pondering whether I would comment since. Barbie clinched it. I haven't made a KZbin comment (bang)...since 2020 (bang).... Walken/ Hopper, True Romance.....anyone.....anyone?

[@ouchiegiverjr]

Now even Indy 4 ain’t so bad in comparison, funny thing is I rewatched it and despite some ooof scenes, the ending was honestly really sweet, with him having a wife and son.

[@rileymcmanus6666]

How on earth do you ONLY have 150k subscribers?! You’re videos are incredibly polished and your grammatical pallet is sublime. I hope this channel explodes with success

[@purga-toy-ry]

The only complaint I have about Platoon's videos is that I can only hit the like button once.

[@KingKayro87]

Well, you could hit dislike then immediately press like afterwards so it technically counts as two.

[@justforever96]

Not only will a horse not run at an oncoming train, they had to be specially trained to even run at solid ranks of men (and they would not run _into_ those ranks, whatever Hollywood likes to depict). To get a horse that would do that and even not panic at the chaos and loud noises all around them on a battlefield took several years of careful training and gradual experience, and a horse that could finally stand the battlefield and even charge the enemy was extremely valuable and taken great care of, and _only_ used in battle. The are obviously middle grounds, they did manage to get horses to more or less function on Civil War battlefields, in the rare cases where the cavalry fought on horse, but that was mostly just training them to ignore the loud gunfire, not to charge packed ranks. And they were still about as dangerous to their riders as the enemy was. In addition, a horse requires a solid, relatively flat ground to run on, they can and will break a leg trying to run on uneven terrain or among rocks, especially in the dark. Running on railroad tracks and ties at full gallop would almost definitely result in an injured horse and thrown rider. What, it just carefully steps on the ties and jumps all the rails and switches? Never touches the third rail? If you have ever tried to even walk on a rail line, it's very annoying and difficult to keep a steady stride.