The Marvels - A Complete Catastrophe

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Get the perfect Christmas gift! Get up to 55% off with my code: THELITTLEPLATOON going to partner.ekster.com/TheLittlePlatoon Thanks to Ozkii, Lofti Pixels, Bag Face and Fritz for their help with this video. Links are in the description! Voiceover audio will be a little bit variable as I recorded it over several days with the flu.

[@richvestal767]

My wife already got me one of these wallets for Christmas last year.

[@jayw3512]

I always thought Thor should have saved Tony and Nebula. He survived the Snap, and he would’ve searched for Tony with their friendship.

[@bathtub_marmot]

I’ve been thinking about throwing shoes at presidents ever since I saw this video 30 minutes ago. I could have thrown a shoe at Bob Iger. I fucked up. And I’m sorry. If I ever see a president of something again… it could be a book club, I don’t care. I’m hardcore.

[@Zoddlander]

IMO I think She-Hulk is worse than The Marvels, not by much however, because She-Hulk creators intended to piss off fans while The Marvels is just a cluster f..k made by fools!

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

​@@ZoddlanderYou're overestimating their writing and underestimating the spin doctors. There's a 0 percent chance they could be that clever. I would agree that Kevbot wrecks the MCU more than almost anything else

[@thomasbc6743]

I think that the best compliment I can give to this channel is that I am more willing to spend twice the runtime of the film watching some person on the internet's opinion on a movie than the movie itself.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I will gladly take that compliment. Thanks!

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

This is how I view most movies and shows now. Last time I tried watching trash was Netflix’s Resident “emotions in hallways” Evil. I should have just trusted Az.

[@bjornskivids]

I think he's having some kind of competition with Mauler for longest tear-down And I'm all for it.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

​@@bjornskividsLongman 2: The lengthening.

[@MimiGenX1977]

Agreed. It’s more entertaining than anything being put out by Hollywood

[@TSTD_Punisher]

that awkward moment when more people want to watch a 5 hour breakdown of a movie than want to watch the actual, shorter movie

[@Willowy13]

I watched this video for 4 times already and this has almost 5 times the running time of The Marxels.😂

[@nisigiles9857]

This!😂

[@KyeEnzoden]

That awkward moment you realize a 5 Hour Breakdown of why a Movie is Shyt is better than the Multimillion $ Movie.

[@AC-hj9tv]

Way more entertaining lol

[@MrBonified66]

Surely this must have happened in the writers room at least once : - But wait, they're using their powers at the same time again, shouldn't they swap? - Hands up who wants to fire Steve.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Bold of you to assume they’d have hired Steve in the first place!

[@sergarlantyrell7847]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Steve was hired under their DEI policy to be their 'token white guy' so they can claim not to be racist/sexist.

[@151monka]

Bold of us all to assume Steve even existed. A man in a writing room...how misogynistic that would be... 🙃🗿

[@linden6190]

They only switch when they start using powers, once they’re essentially “activated” they stay on and they don’t switch.

[@TheDMan2003]

@@TheLittlePlatoonI’d say it’s bold enough that any of the writers, let alone Steve, have writing prowess higher than that of a soap bar.

[@slaapt]

Secret Invasion: A man broke a promise to me when I was nine. He said they would look for a new planet for my species. So I get to genocide all humans and live on nuclear winter Earth. Also we kidnapped a million people, stole every thought from their minds, and somehow still live in slums. Marvels: so there is this Skrull colony on this non-Earth planet...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

They *cannot* exist in the same universe.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

When you think about it, no matter which is chronologically first, they each break each other. It’s as if all these projects are created in separate vacuums while telling us it’s all one shared universe.

[@dannypalin9583]

You know what makes this even funnier? Secret Invasion reveals that a Skrull has been impersonating Rhodey since the end of Civil War. That same Skrull was with the Avengers, and eventually hunted down Thanos and killed him on that deserted planet he was planning on retiring to after the Snap. But, yeah, there's no planet for the Skrulls to truly call home.

[@slaapt]

The MCU hasn't been the MCU ever since endgame. They keep introducing world altering super weapons that always existed (and people knew about) but no one used up until the movie in which they were introduced and destroyed, keep introducing secret societies that control the world, keep contradicting things between series and movies. They are marvel movies, but the MCU died with endgame. Because any movie you introduce time travel as a mechanism to resolve the plot, is a bad movie.

[@FeatherRanching]

Seriously, why does ANYBODY care if the Skrull survive? They were the underdogs (allegedly) in cpt marvel, but in secret wars, they'd kidnapped millions, illegally seized control of numerous governments, and got caught mid-genocide. These aliens are a blight on the universe. Cpt Marvel owes the Kree an apology for thwarting their noble effort to eradicate the evil skrull!

[@micahmitchem936]

Monica Rambo is an unstoppable force that just travels the MCU finding female characters that have committed unspeakable atrocities that have nothing to do with her and declaring that they are now forgiven and that their arc is complete. Meanwhile the people affected by said characters are denied any justice or closure.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

And we’re in an infinite multiverse. Meaning it’s statistically certain that somewhere she’s out there forgiving a female Thanos.

[@kregy7509]

Despite multivere being a thing in MCU for quite a while now, I have never relised that female Thanos would be out there somewehere. Wait, so is female Galactos a thing?

[@cxncxrtmxstxr]

​@@kregy7509 we do have a female galactus in the form of her daughter in some universe

[@DawidKov]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Female Thanos knows exactly what half of all life she wants to purge.

[@kenjifox4264]

@@DawidKovLOL! Woke feminist Thanos vanishes all men. Some decades later, all the women age out and die. All intelligent species go extinct in the entire multiverse, thus making female Thanos the worst genocide criminal of all time and space.

[@melissar4612]

I find it delightful that Platoon was able to make a 5.5 hour review of a 90 minute film, because the movie was JUST. THAT. BAD.

[@guyonyoutube501]

Still can't beat Mauler's 9 hour response to a shitty Dark Souls 2 video

[@tjroelsma]

I find it even more delightful that Nia DaCosta, the "director" of this turd, goes out of her way to missplain how "brilliant" her movie is, even though everyone can see it for the incomprehensible mess it is.

[@lucianwong420]

I didn't even notice this video was 5 hours until i saw this comment haha.

[@freemakerthings4518]

Jesus it's not even that serious

[@iamnotyu5548]

And it's actually 5 hours of entertainment, created by a dude with a camera in his basement. Why couldn't they black girl magic a great movie with hundreds of cast and crew and unlimited resources?

[@kreese-yi2nb]

Disney'll never understand what you sacrificed for them, Platoon. I salute you!

[@advocate_of_HAKAI]

YOU BECAME THE VERY THING YOU SWORE TO DESTROY😂😂😂

[@histguy101]

The meme generation

[@smoothsketch]

The most perfect dissection of this specimen

[@DlcEnergy]

Long live the King! Aaaaghhh.... Aaahhh... Aahh.. [dan-dan da-na-na.. da-da dan-dan-dan!] [Walt? Walt?? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt!!]

[@MeaTargett-du3jw]

I think he sacrificed Disney 💀

[@rclaws3230]

These writers have taken the boys' toys, forced the boys to play with the toys how the writers want them to, and are now discarding the toys in boredom because the boys no longer want to play. This is schoolyard tripe parading as serious media.

[@rclaws3230]

@enjoytheholidays You're right. But they have no investment in the product because their psychology is exactly like the little girl taking the action figure and forcing the little boy to play house with it. It's not her toy, and she doesn't actually care about it, so the only thing she can get out of it is whatever enjoyment she can derive from taking it from him. That IS the psychological action at play here, except on such a scale that it has international sociopolitical ramifications.

[@MediumRareOpinions]

You're absolutely right.

[@Iliketurtles2442]

@@rclaws3230wow that is literally it

[@jacobmatthews7524]

girls forcing boys to include them, taking over the game, driving the boys away, and then also themselves leaving. a tale as old as time.

[@savioblanc]

What baffles me most is that the main reason Disney bought LucasFilms and Marvel was because they were worried that they had lost the preteen/teen boy audience, since their brand was now associated with princesses. Then after acquiring both these boy heavy brands, they decided what both these brands really needed was more girls and if you boys didn't like that, you'll a bunch of misogynistic bigots 🤷‍♂️

[@sharzinlalebazri5673]

I guess the Mary Sue thing really got into the heads of the Disney execs and they said "if we turn Carol Danvers into a genocidal monster, no one will be able to call her a mary sue anymore." Which, fair. I guess I gotta give you props on that one, Disney.

[@qwefg3]

And yet they still excuse it all. Stark gets torn apart for less than twenty civilians getting killed by terrorists. Marvel out matched Thanos kill count and avoided doing easy fixes to fix anything. She gets a hug and told she isn't that bad and killing more people than Thanos isn't even a speed bump. Even a Marry Sue would run into a speed bump. If Thanos was a woman everyone would have celebrated her decision.

[@sharzinlalebazri5673]

@@qwefg3 yup. Absolutely right. But at least this time there was the (few seconds of) acknowledgement that what she did was wrong, which is more than I was expecting.

[@normadgarmez7026]

I mean it's smart for them. However, it doesn't make Carol any more than a villain.

[@nvfury13]

@@qwefg3 People also defend Scarlet Witch, despite multiple Universes destroyed by Incursions due to her hunting a teenage girl to murder her for her powers.

[@CarrionCrow993]

As a woman i appreciate your piece condemning the practice of "this will be great becus muh gender". I'm beyond sick of being stained by association.

[@Tyarrk]

stay strong, sister! when Disney eventually falls, better times will come.

[@Aurora_Lightbringer]

​@@Tyarrk I doubt Disney itself will ever fall, but the MCU and most products from Disney have been recently.

[@Tyarrk]

@@Aurora_Lightbringer yeah, i know. Realistically the best we can hope for is that they learn from their failure, though that chance is slim.

[@Aurora_Lightbringer]

@@Tyarrk Hopefully

[@dimiturtabakov1108]

My all time favorite sitcom is Yes Minister (no disrespect to The Thick Of It.) There was an episode where the government wanted to introduce a quota for women in the civil service and a female civil servant had this to say about it: "I'm not pleased with being a part of a 25% quota. Women are *not* inferior beings and I don't enjoy being patronized." That was in 1982... And here we are, 41 years later, still struggling with the concept that creatures with agency and dignity have no use for condescending pandering. It's kinda sad, really.

[@pohjanakka4992]

Carol not only attacks Don without any real provocation, she also wantonly destroys other people's property just to show off her power to Fury. And never even says "sorry" to the owner. Who knows what kind of financial situation that bar owner was before, that might have put him into red for that month.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I hear he went bankrupt and ended up on the streets addicted to fentanyl.

[@jroggs85]

For what it's worth (not much, because someone clearly thought it was good enough for the bonus content), Carol attacking The Don was a deleted scene. In the actual film, Carol just steals the bike while The Don is shopping or something. (Carol remains a massive cunt either way.)

[@savioblanc]

​@@TheLittlePlatoondamn, she George Floyd' him

[@adamlauer1096]

Thats The Don to you, hes such a nice guy je probably wouldn't mind though tbh

[@iamthewizardwhoknocks2845]

​@@savioblanc😅

[@TheRyderShotgunn]

I used to write fanfic, and it was terrible, but if I ever had to write a fight sequence around the idea of "3 different people on opposite ends of the galaxy who switch places whenever one of them uses their powers," I would rip my hair out making sure every time someone uses their power they would actually switch places. I don't know how the writers for this show would so bold facedly have that concept and then have the gall to write" this person used their power. They don't switch with anyone." Why even have this stupid concept then

[@TheDMan2003]

I’m guessing your fanfics had much more defined structures and better stories than this piece of crap on display?

[@shadowking9739]

I think that if Sisyphus was offered the choice between rolling the boulder and watching "The Marvels", he'd walk up to Hades and tell him, "Yeah...can I have my boulder back?"

[@jonathan39272]

Losing weight and gaining muscle pushing a boulder>>>>>>>> losing your mind watching the Marvels on repeat forever

[@shadowking9739]

@@jonathan39272Hell yeah. At least pushing a boulder is a simple task as opposed to hair-pulling, mind-numbing torment.

[@michaeldavis2001]

Speaking of Wanda: "She almost took down Thanos on her own. Nobody else came close." "Oh, I'd say Captain Marvel came close." Was that fight televised? How does this mook even know who Captain Marvel is? Did he, then NOT see Captain Marvel get punched into space? Wouldn't you say that THOR came pretty close.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Yeah, there’s a tonne of problems with character knowledge in the late MCU. You *could* probably minimise it if you assume/explain that authorities got extensive debriefs etc from those involved, but even that small amount of effort seems to be beyond them.

[@KnightEclipser]

Scott Lang's podcast.

[@ДавидГригорьев-ф3ж]

Thor is a man and therefore he can't be close. When actually Thor with Thor force from the comics is like 10 times more powerful than both of them.

[@bruh-po6fz]

@@ДавидГригорьев-ф3жtells you everything about the direction when they made the strongest person fat and a comedic relief character and made Wanda and captain marvel fuck up thanos which makes sense but fck Thor was ruined

[@Battyj]

To be fair, fat thor got folded by thanos. I'm pretty sure even Captain America did more in that fight than him

[@helpmeiaminhell]

I'm a gay man and i cannot relate to 99% of gay characters i see on the screen. That's why i believe most gay characters are not written to be relatable but are just self insertions of the person writing them. I can't believe there are women out there that can watch The Marvels or She-Hulk and in any way, shape or form relate to those characters on any level. The Hollywood elites are completely out of touch with reality.

[@givmi_more_w9251]

I can't speak for all women, but I loathe the 'girlboss need no man or love' trope. It's insulting on so many levels. First, it's indoctrination. Most women want meaningful relationships and families, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with not wanting it and pursuing a meaningful career, but it's never portrayed as equally valid lifestyles. And it often also comes with denigration of motherhood and mothers, portraying having children as a 'waste of potential'. Second, it always comes at the expense of men. be it blatant man-hating, be it the female becoming a Mary Sue. It's shit. I'm just sick and tired of the continuous genderswapping, feminising men and making them into insufferable, emotionally incontinent soyboy wimps, masculinising women, but only giving them the worst male traits like uncontrolled aggression. Bottom line is, men make terrible women, and women make terrible men. I want good characters in a meaningful, well-crafted story. And it doesn't matter how they look and what they've got in their pants. I have lots of male characters I can 'relate' to, or at least empathise with.

[@CharlieQuebec-fb6ho]

I am a gay woman and I can assure you it's the same on the other side of the aisle. It's not written for anyone outside the West Coast elite

[@HerohammerStudios]

Relating to any of these types of characters is a huge red flag to me. They're awful people

[@TheDMan2003]

The only well-written gay character I can think of is Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter. I’ve always seen sexuality as one of those traits that’s mostly irrelevant to the character as a whole. I’m not saying it shouldn’t be acknowledged, I’m saying, “Okay, so this character is LGBT. So what? What I care about is if they’re a compelling and relatable character. Just because they’re LGBT does not make them relatable to LGBT audience members. Disclaimer: I do not mean to offend anyone in this thread. If my comment was offensive, then I apologize.

[@helpmeiaminhell]

@@TheDMan2003 never apologize for logic, reason and reality.

[@dudesayingthings]

As an Indian, I am astounded at the Muslim Pakistani immigrant girl being named Kamala. Kamala is an inherently Hindu name, it is one of the names of our goddess. I have never once seen a single muslim girl called Kamala, and there's no reason why there should be one. That's like a Texan right-wing Christian patriotic white family calling their son Ahmed or Salman. Kamala means "like a lotus" in Sanskrit, btw, in case anyone appreciates random knowledge nuggets. Cheers! Edit: if I was a cynic, I would say Marvel was trying to attract both Indian and Pakistani demographics under the same "immigrant" consumer group, and failed spectacularly.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I didn’t know that. Thanks! And yes, I think you might just be right about the motive behind it.

[@NonamenoHAndle000]

hope your beard comes in one day 😊 also great point!

[@dudesayingthings]

@@NonamenoHAndle000 thanks for the hope 🥹🥹✌️👋👋

[@TheL0ngbeard]

I don't think the people who created Kamala actually understand there is a difference between people from Pakistan and India and view them as those brown people from somewhere in south Asia.

[@batboy555]

That actually makes slot of sense.

[@Oliver.Verdant]

I got bullied for liking Marvel as a kid. After this film, I can’t blame them 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@DSPHistoricalSociety]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@Stop_Gooning]

Better late than never

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’d guess the difference is that, back when you were a kid, the films weren’t diarrhoea. Sadly they’re doing everything they can to prove the OG critics right.

[@MikeMarlowe-ym3zy]

The silver lining back then was you had wonderful marvel movies to escape into.

[@geordontbrown]

Yeah ever since Thor 4 I just keep being a marvel fan to myself

[@adamheywood113]

"No Rambeau you can't absorb that kind of power! It just tore a hole in spacetime!" "I'm not made of spacetime"

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That’s still better dialogue than anything in the film.

[@CruelestChris]

"I am all the spacetime. I am Monica Spacetime."

[@melissar4612]

I could listen to Platoon eviscerate terrible TV and film for hours and never get bored.

[@LiterallyAWesternHognose]

Same its both tragic yet oddly cathartic that the reviewers put more time and effort into their videos than multi million dollar companies can be arsed too.

[@amostlyreasonableguy]

I can too. Though I prefer the original: Mauler.

[@Anodynamite]

Mewschler is the original Longman 👌

[@armandoalvarado5840]

eviscerating terrible media is a whole industry of its own at this point. lots of raw material.

[@jennypoussin3866]

same here! his diatribe on the musical portion had me in stitches!

[@ChrisParlett]

Fell asleep watching this, thinking it'd only be an hour long. Kept waking up from Marvel fever dreams. Lost half my weight in sweat. Thank you.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I bring the nightmares.

[@Tyarrk]

let me guess, your nightmare was more entertaining than this movie?!

[@MediumRareOpinions]

@@Tyarrk it probably had fewer plot holes

[@bevrosity]

dude same lmao

[@bobnix3240]

Did you tell Mauler to his face that you were coming for his crown, or is this a surprise assault on the citadel?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I am merely the regent. The king will return.

[@blizzfreak245]

The steward of the Longman citadel indeed.

[@cormoran2303]

Wow, the entire sun dimmed and She-Hulk STILL couldn't be bothered to quickly hop into the universe that writes the stories and change it.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

My god, that show.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I guess it's like the comics: she can only break the fourth wall in her own book/show.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

She/Hulk completely breaks the entire MCU. She is the singular most powerful being in the world with the power to interact with an entity outside her own universe and dimension whose very power alters her reality’s past, present, and future, and all she did was whine and ask to get laid again. Un-fucking-believable.

[@scottski02]

​@chazzitz-wh4ly At least we're spared the horror of a second season. *I hope*

[@e.c.winner7252]

I love the inclusion of The Don’s backstory. Everyone needs to know the truth. #justiceforthedon

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Don Stop Me Noooooow

[@HypK799]

It's always darkest before the Don.

[@Ceyx000]

Don Stop Believing!

[@sonoftheemperor5685]

#justiceforthedon

[@1977dclinton]

Don but not forgotten

[@TheL0ngbeard]

She can kickstart a STAR. Did they see the most common criticism of "she is OP and it feels unearned" and went 180 from that, making her the most powerful entity known in the universe. She has enough power and endurance to survive flying into a star, get the fusion reaction going again and fly out. Gravity, heat, all sorts of radiation means NOTHING to her. She can do the same with a planet and tear it up from inside on a WHIM. How the in seven hells do fights not end in one punch, or even better, one glare. Do the writers realize what they have done? Why even ask, no they don't, they either don't care or have the understanding of the world on the level of a six year old or a 30yo Californian who thinks you can land on the Sun at night, because then it's not that hot.

[@crizman7032]

And to think, there's TWO of them. Along with the Skrull lady with Cap. Marvel's powers, a clash between the two would probably nuke a whole solar system or three.

[@AC-hj9tv]

Which 30 year old Californian hurt you

[@Nemesis0921]

1:52:15 A lot of people brought up this point since the first movie. She’s so shoehorned in this universe that not only do they need plot contrivances to accommodate her powers but they can’t even explain where she was for 30 years without making her look bad.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

The “I was away helping other planets” thing was probably the best they *could* have done. Which is really saying something, since it’s terrible. But they managed to make it even worse.

[@katanabluejay]

I read that as "She's so shoeonhead in this universe ..." I need to touch grass

[@Chao-Feng]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon I feel like The Marvels missed a huge opportunity by not retconning that one line in particular. Maybe they could have had a dramatic scene where Carol reveals to Monica that she was actually in the midst of trying and failing to hunt some intergalactic threat for the past 30 years (like Galactus or the Phoenix Force or something, except not stated outright, but just teased). They could maybe introduce a flaw this way, like perhaps during her desperate chase, she came to the realization that she is not as invincible as she believed. Therefore that line in Endgame could retroactively be changed from a lazy throwaway explanation to her projecting a facade, because she believed she needed to be seen as invincible, even though she failed. This flaw could have Developed as a reaction to having been constantly put down by the Kree when she lived with them. It could have retconned the reason for her disappearance, given her a flaw, provided a bonding moment for the Marvels and teased a future threat for either the Fantastic Four or X-Men.

[@blackscorpionstinger]

@@Chao-Fengthat is too farfetched because these people are not that smart

[@cheetah219]

And then the way they expanded on that is by showing how she nearly wiped out an entire planet who now seeks vengeance. This was the most puzzling part since the "villain" is literally a hero trying to save her planet. I'm still at a loss as to how this was the best plot they could come up with

[@andynonya1490]

Just shows how bad Secret Invasion was that by the end of the series you understand and agree why most of the universe hunt down the Skrulls to the point of extinction. Look at what one skrull did just because a guy broke a promise to a little boy; he tried to commit genocide against a species that was willing to try to find them a home.

[@yagamifire7861]

The Kree hate the Skrull and hate Carol. ....how are they bad guys again?

[@felipemontero1087]

@@yagamifire7861funny how the one other Kree villian, Ronan, was working with Thanos, was against the rest of the Kree, was a genocidal zelot, and was opposed to the Kree. So the Kree are the good guys But the MSheU forgot about that

[@indiajohnson]

​@@felipemontero1087 Ronan was with Thanos committing atrocities because he didn't like that his government signed a "peace treaty" with the Nova Empire and Thanos promised him that he would destroy Xandar for him if he got him the orb (which contained the Power Stone). It's in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 1. Also on another note, as far as I'm concerned, both the Kree and the Skulls are as bad as each other. There's no clear good guys when you've been fighting a war(s) for a thousand years or so.

[@nananamamana3591]

"Who's excited for Madam Webb?" Me. I'm excited. It's getting done by the same folks who did Morbius, but, they added a woman to the creative team this time. It's gonna be a great litmus test.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

We can probably meme this into the theatres three or four times.

[@zawarudo1041]

i would stay away from any group that would go out of their way to call themselves "folks"

[@Nokaret]

And we got so much more than we could have asked for 😂

[@Maladjester]

Here we are a few months later and Madam Web was everything we could have hoped for.

[@joshmatlock1020]

So Carol could've restarted the sun for 30 years but let people suffer because of something she's responsible for...WTF is wrong with the writers? ALSO...she is so strong all she has to do to solve everything is tell Rambeaux and Kamala to go to their rooms and not use their powers and she'll fix everything in seconds....this is horrible.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That’s actually a good point I didn’t consider. If the other two weren’t involved, Carol would likely have solved the problem much more quickly.

[@erichammer5502]

@@TheLittlePlatoonwell, maybe not Carol, but someone other than Captain Dark Triad might have done so. :D

[@Marshkoon]

Because she doesn’t even understand her own damn powers ffs

[@Marshkoon]

⁠@@TheLittlePlatoonshe literally made a kree steal, an atmosphere, water and sun just because she didn’t think to help fix the shit she caused lmao Carol has not done one task to completion since her powers were unrestricted. Nor does she even understand her own power decades later just walks around thinking she’s the best just because she says so lol

[@joshmatlock1020]

@@Marshkoon then that brings up how did Monica know she could and still doesn't explain why she doesn't just push the other two to the side and take care of it herself. She could stand toe to toe with Thanos, while he had a majority of the infinity stones and takes down entire capitol ships by herself. This antagonist would be a non-issue for her to take down in seconds. The writing is just awful and makes no sense.

[@clementj]

I have the displeasure of watching the Ms Marvel show, and I point out the same thing about Kamala's obsession with Captain Marvel. In the comics, it makes sense because Carol Danvers have been superhero-ing for a long time, but in the MCU, we barely see her do any superhero stuff that's worth someone being obsessive over. It's funny that The Amazing Spider-man 2 bothered to show Spider-man saving Max (Electro) which makes him obsessed over Spidey, but this show could not even bother to LOL...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Hell, I think even Hawkeye establishes a similar link between Kate Bishop and Clint. It takes all of one scene to establish.

[@therealdeal3866]

Platoon, it’s been a wild year. I appreciate you very much, my friend. As you know, I loathe advertising, but your ad in this video was so well written I found myself skipping back to listen to it several times! I hope that 2024 brings you even more success and thank you for a great 2023. I hope that I can call you friend as well as entertainer. Best wishes.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thank you very much! I figure, if I’m going to ask people to sit through them, the least I can do is try to make them entertaining. God knows what 2024 will bring. But I’m sure we’ll have fun taking it all apart, whatever it is.

[@bilson7523]

1:39:57 My head canon is that Nick Fury is secretly a Lovecraftian outer god trapped in a human body and the mere utterance of "black girl magic" gifted Rambeau the powers.

[@Willowy13]

😂😂😂😂😂 This moment was worse than the cat. How Samuel L Jackson recorded that crap?

[@Shooshawali]

@@Willowy13they told him he was recording for the next Madea movie, not this utter swill

[@USSMariner]

I honestly think it's an outtake they used because Sam Jackson IRL shitposting is still better than whatever his actual line was.

[@Zinlain]

@@Willowy13 Probably he is being paid so much he doesnt give a shit.

[@AC-hj9tv]

​@@Zinlainsellout now tbh

[@GreenManXY]

You forgot to add that the switching gimmick could've been used as a nerf to Carol if it was consistent. The villian could've forced them to split up by attacking at different places and they would've had to learn and grow as a team so that they could use their powers to stop her even though each use would switch them. That would've been a cool movie...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh yeah, to be sure, there were creative ways to deploy that mechanic. Unfortunately that requires that the creators are, y’know, creative.

[@StuCheeks]

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers worked as leaders with conflicting ideals, but neither of them were evil. They also respected and learned from each other. Carol doesn't even blink at the thought of murdering countless people, and the writers think she's a leader? She respects no one and learns nothing from her actions. Beautiful video. Marvelous, even.

[@TheLoneReni]

The ideal of putting Carol in a zero sum scenario to give her a problem that her powers can't solve, is also laughable because she doesn't care. She doesn't have a moral compass and is completely cold towards pretty much everyone. Loss just rolls off her like water on a ducks back so I can't see the writers being able to give her an important decision that will make her actually care about something.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

That’s a good point. It’s difficult to present a moral dilemma to someone who doesn’t have morals.

[@austinbaker8042]

She's actually so much like a murder hobo DnD character. The DM tries to give them narrative stakes and loss, and they shrug and say "can I loot the body or not?" all they care about is being strong and getting stronger. That's so funny

[@Confused_surprise]

At the end of the first movie she was destroying a whole fleet of kree spaceship, knowing full well she was slaughtering thousands of soldiers she used to fight alongside with only 3 days ago. But hey, she's a hero ! So she is smiling and cheering while ripping them like a psycho.

[@mrdropkicker1]

She’s like if Master Shake had superpowers. The only real unit of value she understands is personal benefit…

[@cosmictreason2242]

@@Confused_surpriseconsequence of identity morality

[@kylekatarn5964]

Writers and actors endlessly throwing around the term "Empowerment" is a not so subtle way of telling on themselves that their ideas stink and their identity is a shield that causes endless amounts of self consciousness in the writers and actors who hide behind it. Tokenism used to be frowned upon, now it is a requirement for these absolute hacks. I came for a syrup tongued massacre and my expectations were exceeded in a artful and funny way. Well done, Platoon. 👏

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thank you very much!

[@tulipalll]

a syrup tongued massacre. I will be adding that to my personal dialogue options XD Love it!

[@joshuapotter3326]

3:18:45 this scene right here is considered acting i know theres a cat blocking most of the shot but she is literally just reading off her script while staring off into the void. This is the moment she realizes the villain has been targeting all the people she cares about, you would think she would have more of a reaction.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

And Brie Larson *can* act, too. I have no idea why she’s so awful in this role. Maybe she thinks she’s above it.

[@Willowy13]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Let's not forget that both Marvel movies had inexperienced directors. Case in point Thor. He was handled so well in Infinity War (and then we had THAT Endgame Thor).

[@awesomehpt8938]

You could say it’s a complete “cat”astrophe. Because of the Flerkens. Like Goose. Who scratched Fury’s eye and ruined that subplot for all time.

[@dannyknightblade4592]

It's terrible how Marvel emasculated Nick Fury. I imagined Nick Fury lost his eye in an epic fight with someone who betrayed him- not having his eye scratched out by some space cat!

[@dannyknightblade4592]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. I wish Marvel would just let serious moments stay serious instead of turning everything into a joke.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

That guy Nick Fury alluded to be betrayed by therefore giving him trust issues was actually a cat alien. Expectations: subverted.

[@chloeforman]

On the plus side Halle Berry is no longer the star of the worst Cat related movie ever made.

[@mellowgeekstudio]

A movie made by pu$$ies, for pu$$ies.

[@mattsterbenz1392]

Best line in the review and I had to stop and write something "For the first time in my life I am on the same side as Conservative Muslims, not sure I am comfortable with that..." Almost chocked on what I was drinking, the line was gold.

[@boobah5643]

The cognitive dissonance inspired on American college campuses by broadsheets proclaiming that "Islam is right about women" was fun to see. No explanation about what muslims believe about women was necessary (or included) but whoever distributed them was, of course, "racist.' Never you mind that neither 'muslim' nor 'woman' is a race.

[@Mrch33ky]

These screenwriters and showrunners think that merely sketching things out and letting CGI dazzle people is a good days work. It's just Entertainment, so it doesn't have to make sense. I encounter them in my work which is outside of Hollywood. And they are a pestilence.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s especially clear when you compare it to something like Godzilla Minus One, that lacked the budget for dazzling CGI and compensated for it with character writing. I’d not be at all surprised if a hard budget cap actually improved the MCU.

[@sherL0ck13]

You even included The Don! That's just wonderful, don't let the history of The Don fade away

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Don but not forgotten.

[@tulipalll]

@@TheLittlePlatoon 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@chrismatteson1312]

I enjoy Little Platoon so much that I will listen to a 5 and a half hour breakdown of a movie I will probably never see. An hour and a half in, I stand by my choice, and would recommend this choice to a friend.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Please do!

[@mercynamikoye9084]

me too

[@mercynamikoye9084]

@Gyrfalcon312 I watched the whole thing start to finish. All 5 hours. Its worth it in my opinion

[@mercynamikoye9084]

@Gyrfalcon312 oh yes it is. Where I am work has closed down till the new year so its great to catch up on such things right now

[@Laneous14]

I shudder just thinking about all the editing he did on this.

[@dukkulisa3542]

As someone who saw the Marvels, exclusively for cringe purposes, the water world scenes was beyond my wildest expectations. Absolute perfection.👌

[@DrMcFly28]

I love how they completely shot themselves in the foot with an (admittedly promising) switcheroo mechanic that above anything else requires meticulous script planning... and then proceeded to wring it through typical MCU rewrites/reshoots shitter rendering it pointless. It's like watching an aging magician who promises he'll show you a cool magic trick and then forgets completely what he was doing and leaves to make himself some soup.

[@TeutonicKnight92]

Superman is one of my favorite heroes. His best stories are when his he called upon to physically defeat the baddy it’s when he challenged, morally or on what it means to be “human” or a hero. One of my favorite Superman works is “What’s so funny about Truth, Justice and the American Way?” by Joe Kelly. There is also a DCAU movie that’s a very faithful adaption called “Superman vs the Elite.” The premise of the story is a new superhero team appears, the titular Elite, who are modeled off the Authority or Watchmen style superheroes. They are brutal, ruthless and more than willing to kill. They also very much seek to have the support of the people which raises Superman’s dilemma. He could stop them, but does he have the right? Are he and his style of heroism out of date, has time passed him by? If the people want these heroes, what does that say about everything he’s fought for and believed in? It’s a fantastic comic book and movie and I’d highly recommend it

[@cosmictreason2242]

No. Man bad. Consume product and get excited for next product

[@retsaMinnavoiG]

I disagree... Sure, they can be interesting stories but I prefer my Superman to be rather simple. I just want a very nice man with a very strong moral compass that is very powerful. You can still use that to make good stories. You could have a temporarily depowered Clarke jump in front of a car to protect a stranger and he ends up on life support in hospital... Lex comes to taunt him about forgetting he lost his powers and Clarke saying 'I knew I might die and I would do it again - even for you Lex'. You can have him not being fast enough to save two groups of people as he hears one of them screaming as they die and he goes home to Ma Kent and breaks down. I don't want a Superman that is a big philosophical equation, he's just a simple guy that has a strong sense of right and wrong.

[@soaringraven0]

@@retsaMinnavoiG Superman is THE hero. He is what heroes should try and be.

[@Mereologist]

I get why people like Superman, but in the end he has one of the same problems that 'Catpain Marvel' has in this movie and which is addressed in 'Watchmen' to some extent: so many problems are so trivial for him to solve, that when problems remain we have to ask why it wasn't worth him expending five seconds of effort to prevent it. For example, some African countries literally enslave children and force them to dig out diamonds. Almost everyone thinks this is bad. I presume Superman also thinks this is bad. But what had he done about it? It's not worth five minutes of his time. He could round up all the slavers. If he was inclined. He could dig all the diamonds himself so there would be no point to enslave children. He could even produce enough diamonds himself to devalue it as a product. But he doesn't do any of these things. This atrocity doesn't rate his interest. He's okay with it. Even though he can literally see and hear it any time he chooses. It's hard to see such a guy as a 'hero'. On the latter note, how much could all societies be improved if a lot of scarcity was resolved? Superman could provide free energy for the entire planet. If he was inclined. He could locate rare resources so all products would be less expensive. He can re-route rivers or fetch iceburgs for drinking and farming water. He could prevent literally everyone from dying from hunger, thirst, or wont. He could jumpstart technology and in many versions all that would require is sharing Kryptonian tech he has access to. He could literally cure cancer. But he's not interested in doing any of these things. It would only take him a few minutes. He can't be bothered. He doesn't care about people starving to death. Even though he can literally see and hear it any time he chooses. Are we sure he's a 'hero'? Spiderman was given this critique once by an alternate version of himself who pointed out that his genius and technological ability could have helped billions, but instead he wants the self-aggrandizing task of beating up muggers. In a way, these heroes are actually VILLAINS. They COULD have done so much better, but they either don't care or are too damaged to do it. Batman, at least, does actually use his wealth and power to cause these positive changes insofar as he can. But none of the rest of them do. Why?

[@achair7958]

I also just realized, because of the Multiverse rules eatablished in MoM, Monica's presence in that universe should eventually destroy it... Who's willing to bet this will never be brought up?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’d be very surprised if they remembered that rule, yep.

[@Willowy13]

By that movie rules, MoM, Loki, Wandavision and everything else should not have happened because America was causing incursions while searching for her moms and the multiverse should be gone.

[@Can_O_Crayola]

@@Willowy13 The incursions rule is ridiculous because Marvel refuses to even vaguely stick to their own rules. What If completely flaunts that rule as it pleases, despite ostensibly being part of the MCU in every way.

[@Lord_necromancer]

​​@@Willowy13 as much as I hate the character America Chavez, in the interest of fairness I have to say this- it's likely that America doesn't cause "incursions" because she's the only America Chavez in the multiverse, so her jumping around doesn't bring the universes together in a metaphysical way.

[@nvfury13]

By the same rules, the Gamora now in the main MCU should cause the same to happen to it.

[@bondagedangel]

Holy shit, only 43 minutes into this and I just thought " what if Monica's mother got sick I'm assuming from cancer, seems to be the common illness. From going to space because her daughter guilt her into going".

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Damn it, that’s a good point! She says “the cancer’s back” meaning she *had* cancer before. God knows when. But generally, you don’t wanna be going into space if you’re trying to avoid cancer. It’s not a good idea.

[@Ramsey276one]

They keep making everything WORSE XD

[@haku8135]

It's so fucking stupid everyone in this universe is dying of CANCER. They have ACTUAL MAGIC, really advanced nano technology, WAKANDA, and apparently mail order super powers. But they just CAN'T fix cancer. Compared to what they've already done, cancer should be as easily cured as AIDS in the multiverse travel episode of Family Guy. There should be a NyQuil Cold, Flu and Cancer.

[@jacquelineking5783]

In Monica's defense she was a kid in the Captain Marvel movie. Her mother was the person who chose to listen to a kid and risk cancer coming back.

[@bondagedangel]

@@jacquelineking5783 doesn't change the fact that she guilt her into going. And if they ever thought of going down that route and had competent writers. They could tell a good story and make her more fleshed out of a character.

[@coeus1469]

"They are using kittens as zip files, guys." Thank you, Platoon. Keep up the excellent work. And yes, it's clear you put more effort into this review than the movie did in being a movie.

[@NoName-eq9md]

that caught me off guard so hard lmao

[@TuriGamer]

Lets all take a moment to appreciate how this swap mechanic would have been perfect to keep god from using some of her abilities to nerf her and they just didnt care

[@Maladjester]

With the exception of Kamala almost dying once, switching was a minor annoyance rather than a problem. Would have thrown a pretty big wrench in the works if Danvers went to throw a huge blast, got switched, and blew up a city block instead. She could have been busy off-screen for a few minutes fixing that. Meanwhile the other two would have had to deal with the threat, which would have been an actual threat to them. Of course, this assumes Danvers would even care enough to stop and try to fix some of the carnage she just caused, which is a dubious proposition.

[@FilthyCazualGamer]

Bless the Platoon, Mauler, Drinker, and all who make the reviews more entertaining than the entertainment medium themselves.

[@ccdecker]

Do not forget the first, Plinkett, blessed be his name.

[@gadraven405]

So I can practice my english (~still wobbly) in an entertaining way ~from Brittany, France

[@zawarudo1041]

i would add Despot of Antrim too

[@brockdavid]

My wife really wants MauLer or Platoon to do videos for disasters like the Eternals, and multi-hour’d dives into Alien: Romulus. I’m really hoping someone like either of those two, or the Despot of Antrim, do a comparative video essay illustrating what worked for Brandon Lee’s “the Crow”, as opposed to, “the Pigeon” with Bill Skarsgard, or doing a breakdown of the plot, characters or the lack thereof.

[@AC-hj9tv]

Except for drinker 😂

[@Ash-sf4gr]

I had a good giggle when 49min or so into a 5.5 hour video you stated "it's a short film alright. I've got to fill the time somehow."

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I did indeed find ways to fill the time!

[@lukewithann7256]

Carol is like Homelander except the writers actually see her as the good guy somehow...

[@kenjifox4264]

Lol that’s an excellent comparison. Carol is the MCU’s Homelander. Pretty much true.

[@felipemontero1087]

@@kenjifox4264except Homelander is an amazing character, is wonderfully acted, and has saved more people than Carol ever has

[@clodolcmidnights837]

Blonde: check Red and blue outfit: check Superman minus kryptonite: check Terrible people: check Originally from comics: check (we don’t talk about the comic version of the boys) Probably eats babies: check Yep, sounds like homelander to me

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

@@felipemontero1087 Not only that, *Carol has unalived more people than he has* *Imagine having a body count higher than fucking HOMELANDER*

[@Zinlain]

@@clodolcmidnights837 Technically Homelander didnt eay babies in the comics... but that is a spoiler. I havent read Carol comics so I cant confirm that one...

[@PsychicGirl]

I just realized that Captain Marvel was the last time Coulson was seen in the movies. He was a much better character when we knew nothing about him.

[@MoreDakka545]

Wait, CM wiped out Hala 30 years ago in-universe? How has this not undermined Guardians? The Kree has just fought a war and Ronan is going terrorist over Xander at least a decade AFTER their empire was supposedly wiped out?

[@Tyarrk]

yes, you paid more attention then the writers of this movie. Welcome to phase 5.

[@Ramsey276one]

O M G XD They just keep making everything *WORSE!*

[@Ramsey276one]

​@@Tyarrk*TERMINAL*

[@haku8135]

I'm still trying to find out how blowing up a computer broke their water, their air, and their STAR. I'm also trying to figure out why they didn't decide to just LEAVE and colonize a NEW planet.

[@kaelkirkby9191]

@@haku8135 To quote Ice Age 2: "I was born in this hole and I'll die in this hole."

[@crypto66]

I remember when "girl power" in the MCU was Black Widow beating the tar out of multiple goons while Happy struggled to take down ONE dude. No fuss over it. It just happened. She was just that good.

[@whenpigsfly8178]

Ok, my favourite line in this video is "Even Bree Larson appeared unsure whether she would ever get another opportunity to flaunt her washboard-flat ass in a superhero costume .. ". Zing!

[@crazyralph6386]

Haha, but she does her own stunts don’t you know??? Needed a body double for her a55 shots 😂

[@soil-ew2nv]

Everybody says that the Marvels is a bad film, but it's a great piece of Lovecraftian media. It is an unspeakable creation that drives its viewers to madness.

[@huntertaylor367]

Ia! Ia! Strong whamen fhtagn!

[@georgetrevor2621]

Gotta make a new page on scp, hang on

[@sabnwcj5592]

I'm sure someone mentioned it already but a variant of Dr. Strange killed 2 universes by causing an incursion. That version if the Avengers executed him. When a super hero does a lot of damage in the name of good? Death. When they do it cuz they are upset? Hugs. 🖤

[@Vherstinae]

The difference is that Carol has vagina, so she can’t be in the wrong.

[@nicholi1120]

Hold on.. and I'm in NO WAY defending any of "The Marvels" plot. However, the 30 years wouldn't have actually been 30 years to Carol. She was traveling at light speed. Shure, she didn't get far, but to Carol it would have been significantly less then 30 years since she'd seen Monica. No, I don't think the writers even understand the significance OF light speed for either or, at this point, ANY of the existing Marvel writing teams going back 10 years.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Hell no. They just forgot that was the plot point in the first film. Otherwise, I agree!

[@nicholi1120]

That doesn't explain any of Endgame, of course. Why have we not even heard about their miraculous interstellar communications? In Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. they atleast used signal lag when they were just going into low orbit, but they're having facetime from one solar system to another? How? Did the Cree or the Scrulls give us interstellar coms? IF(and no I'm not expecting any explaniation) they've given us even a little of their technology, the Earth WOULD be the center of a new black hole. ANY governent that got ahold of alien technology would not be able to resist poking and prodding it till they hit the wrong thing and the Earth would be gone@@TheLittlePlatoon

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

The laws of physics in the MCU are obviously so radically different from ours that I see no reason to assume time dilation exists there.

[@boobah5643]

@@nicholi1120 Nitpickery: the Cree are a native american nation; the Kree are Marvel's alien race.

[@Seomus]

The writers don't understand Science. They treat light speed as FTL. I mean at light speed, its about 4 years to our nearest star.

[@puggietaur]

I find it very indicative of the character writing in this film that when I was listening to this without visuals and you said "captain nothing burger" like 3 characters came to mind and when i went back to check it was none of those 3 and was instead a character i didn't know 😂

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

They’re all interchangeable at this point!

[@hugomungus7306]

4:35:52 I think the funniest part of this mess is realizing the swap mechanic could be cut out, leading to everything making 80% more sense. Kamala is still chased for the bangle and Carol would have far more time to reconcile her bullsh*t with Rambo, along with her galactic warcrimes. Cutting this one thing out and just having the plot with the Succbot 3000 and the Darth Bland would actually create space to address her motives and Carol's destruction of Hala.

[@a.r.mproductions5616]

Still mad Carol got the solo movie before Black Widow. I wish that movie was back in phase 1-2 so Natasha could’ve gotten the glory she deserved especially because of her sacrifice. She deserved better.

[@cosmictreason2242]

But not the movie they made with her

[@asain3586]

​@@cosmictreason2242 Obviously, The story with Taskmaster is cringe and stupid. Tbf they probably do that becuz they promised that Black Widow is coming. Still stupid story though

[@savioblanc]

The same Marvel fans that were pilloried by the media for being "sexist" for not liking Captain Marvel , were literally begging for a Black Widow movie for half a decade

[@LostOneOmega]

This whole situation reminds me of Futurerama's "A Leela of her Own" where Leela was one of the worst Blurns Ball Players but she was praised JUST for being a woman in the sport... Until another woman, who was actually good, came along. They're so busy patting themselves on the back for THE FIRST of anything that they don't care about the quality of their work. We know there's great female heroes in the MCU (Black Widow before the agenda) but they want these characters to be up front and the public doesn't accept them. Go figure 🤷🏿‍♂

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

“The first” thing became really stupid when listening to sportscasts and statistics. So many sportscasters want to fluff up bad players so much they’ll slap “the first” or give them some stupid stat like “most fourth quarter comebacks during the playoffs on a cold winter evening”. I stopped taking sports seriously because they stopped taking it seriously. Also it was a wake up moment to realize stats are easily manipulated.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

@@chazzitz-wh4lyAnd the worst part about them is that, most of the time, they're not the first ones to do it!

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

The truth is, there were no movies before The Marvels. The Marvels is the first movie ever.

[@tommyhatcher3399]

First Female President will destroy the world so don't worry about it.

[@absolutechaos13]

@@chazzitz-wh4ly "40% of statistics are made up." - a quote in my 5th grade day planner.

[@thelaughingrouge]

Can we talk about how super creepy it is that Carol cares *SO MUCH* about what her friend's kid thinks about her that she abandoned the earth because she doesn't want for the kid to see her as a disappointment?!

[@jacquelineking5783]

It really doesn't work. She barely ever knew the kid and Monica barely ever knew Marvel.

[@free_at_last8141]

I can't believe that I didn't connect the plots of the villains of this film and Space Balls. Well done.

[@Drefsab]

Between Mauler and Platoon I feel more than satisfied with my need for snarky British TV and movie criticism. Long live the long men!

[@kyanrinel5898]

Mauler had been under-cut by a new competitor that he put in the map via EFAP. When mauler only does 1-2 videos a year you can’t help but wonder who is going to step up.

[@Cancoillotteman]

"She pierced a hole in Space-time"... Do any of the writters know that exists, and is called a singularity or more frequently a black hole ? How do you "fix" a black hole ?

[@nvfury13]

It is worse, because that is what all the Jump Gates are, as they are wormholes that shunt you through somewhere with very different physical laws (as exhibited by the GotG scene he showed, where rapid multiple jumps warp you and your ship in weird ways) and she’d been tearing them open all movie.

[@khfan4life365]

I only feel sorry for Ms Marvel’s actress. You could tell she wanted to be part of something special but unfortunately missed the better arcs.

[@Jetsetradio]

Bless her, she really was trying her heart out. She's the only small part of the dumpster fire of this year that I'll give a pass to. Mind you, I soundly don't think her series has anything to offer me, but I won't hold that against her.

[@jimmy22334]

Yeah I hope she got paid well and goes on to do better projects. She's a good actress, just got stuck with a shit movie written by morons

[@LaloSalamancaGaming69]

She was annoying as fuck tbh

[@jayw3512]

Perhaps…but my gosh…Ms. Marvel (Kamala) is unbearably annoying!

[@alchemystudiosink1894]

That is what happens with so many of of these diversity inclusions. They are put onto a flaming shit pile from writers, directors and other staff to be the new meat shield to take the slings of arrows as people realize its a shit pile but may not be the best at constructing their thoughts. Not everyone can go little platoon.

[@MrAceofspades627]

Ever since Halo 2, I've been mildly obsessed with Space Elevators. It's such a cool concept, creating a whole "dock" for spacecraft without the need for exoatmospheric vehicles to ferry cargo, supplies and resources. After The Marvels, I like space elevators just a little bit less.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

They are indeed a fascinating concept. Though they lose out to mass drivers, imo, because it’s much harder to fly a plane into a mass driver.

[@Laneous14]

@@TheLittlePlatoon So you're worried about cultural enrichment and diversity affecting Space Elevators?

[@guythat779]

​@@TheLittlePlatoonas an arab, dw there's always a way And planes can't get through reinforced concrete much less whatever a space elevator would have to use to support its own weight and the orbital forces

[@kevina6416]

I love how the eternals has been forgotten as it should

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I could be wrong, but I think the only MCU property since that’s acknowledged its existence has been She-Hulk.

[@kurington.blogspot7876]

We truly live in the darkest timeline, when a cartoon comedy show writers are the professionals and are the most professional writers.

[@drewandcharlie7583]

It is pretty amazing to see the result of hiring people because of what they are, rather than because of what they can do. Its shocking how bad it really is. regular people arent invested enough to find out which projects are well written and which are being torpedoed by talentless diversity hires. So they’ll just stop watching all together. If hollywood doesn’t figure this out, the entire industry will be dead in 5 years. Games youtube and tiktok will completely replace movies as a medium. As an artform.

[@randylahey8207]

I think movie making will simply move away from California mostly for good. It's too expensive, too risky with diminishing returns. Hollywood started in the first place because they were sick of the East Coast monopoly and went out West to make the kind of movies THEY wanted to. We're already witnessing the same idea in a modern form. Except instead of a limited number of people having access to recording media, pretty much everyone does. This is a death march...

[@M0butu]

1. It will go bankrupt in 1 year, not 5. 2. Godzilla -1 shows the future of cinema.

[@JoshuaKevinPerry]

Gaming surpassed film long ago, and if you consider YT, Twitch, it was even quicker than you thought

[@Ramsey276one]

It's not meritocracy to expect the minimum requirements for a job to be hired to do said job. *IT IS BASIC COMMON SENSE.*

[@OneDapperFrog]

No, movies will stay around, but Hollywood won't. Godzilla -1 may be the first of many foreign films that go big in the US.

[@xyber6]

Also remember that the space station isn't just sitting up there. It's flying in orbit of earth faster than speed of sound.... it would've splat pasted kamala...

[@ThePiachu]

RE: Khamala being obsessed with Danvers and so on in general rubs me the wrong way. It would be like hearing that someone is a Star Wars fan and their favourite character is Nien Nunb. You know Nien Nunb - the famous Star Wars character that was a part of the pinnacle fight in Episode 6? You know, the guy that destroyed Death Star 2 (since Lando was obviously the pilot, so Nien would have to be the gunner that fired the torpedo that blew up Death Star 2! He's like the Luke Skywalker of Episode 6!). The one character nobody ever mentions or acknowledges? Yeah, "she is REALLY into Nien Nunb" is how comparable Captain Marvel fandom would be in MCU based on how much she appeared in that universe...

[@blackieblack]

The little Mexican guy that sat next to Lando?

[@AJadedLizard]

To be fair, Kamala's fixation on Danvers is directly translated from the comics (where she's had like five or six different failed solo series). *It's not well translated into the MCU* but that's largely because Kamala Khan is significantly more popular than Carol Danvers is (which says quite a lot about Carol Danvers, because a very specific portion of the fandom hates Khan). It's sort of like Venom in his standalone Sony movies; Sony had to work *really* hard to justify some of the Spidey aspects of Venom in a world without Spidey. Marvel just...didn't really do that.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Had a Mexican friend who was growing a beard that looked just like that guy. I didn’t even know he had a name, I just called him “Lando’s alien co-pilot during the second Death Star assault”.

Only thing Captain Marvel is known for, for me is Rogue draining her of all her powers and putting her into a coma before she comes back later and is killed.

[@AJadedLizard]

@ I remember her for Civil War II and how much she *sucked* in Ultimate Marvel.

[@jacksonrussell4630]

I'm curious what the Kree tried to do during the Civil War that put the sun in that condition. That just seems like poor planning on the combined leadership.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh, I have no idea. Why the hell would one side in a civil war try to wipe out the sun?!

[@jacksonrussell4630]

@@TheLittlePlatoon as you have often said, writing is hard.

[@darthgamer9861]

@@TheLittlePlatoonperhaps the sun died of cringe?

[@Willowy13]

The Kree empire was alive, well and powerful in Agents of Shield. Since both Nick and Sif appeared in it is canon to me. There was an episode on season 2 with Sif and a Kree. Later, a whole season of the show was about the Kree empire. This movie makes no sense at all.

[@thefilthyrhombus3856]

​@@Willowy13 Not to mention that in 2014 the Kree just ended a war with Xandar which caused Ronin the Accuser go all jihad on Xandar. How were the Kree able to do that if they were either a) in the midst of a civil war that had been raging for 9 years or b) in the aftermath of said war with a ruined home world and an empire in shambles? Also in either case wouldn't Ronin be far more occupied with conquering the Kree uniting them, and rebuilding the empire instead of annihilating Xandar? I swear to god Marvel's take on world building/interconnectivity post 2017 is like eating a sandwich and then two hours later eating an ingredient you meant to put on the sandwich but didn't. That's not how you eat a fucking sandwich!

[@KingKayro87]

Ah yes, Captain Marvel, the film where the conflict was about letting loose your bottled up emotions, as portrayed by a woman whose only two emotions are smug superiority and cold unfeeling belligerence.

[@RangerRobin0404]

Trust me: this movie shouldn't *want* Secret Invasion to exist. It makes it so that most thinking people would look at any inconvenience to the Kree or Skrulls and go "Good!". Our poor poor sympathetic genocidal heavy handed metaphor aliens.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

I thought Secret Invasion happened AFTER the Marvels. Whatever order it is in, The Marvels and Secret Invasion just make no sense in continuity to each other.

[@RangerRobin0404]

@@chazzitz-wh4ly You get two Wonderful choices. If it's before the movie, it makes the Skrulls even less sympathetic. If it happens after the movie, it means the help the Skrulls got was undone just to piss all over Nick Fury.

[@angrytheclown801]

The skrulls were one reason I hated Captain Marvel. Because unlike its script writers, I knew what the skrulls were and letting them hide on earth was always a horrible choice. Such a crap movie

[@circle1552]

@@chazzitz-wh4ly Exactly. What I didn't get is when the Skrul refugee planet is destroyed and Captain Marvel contacts Valkirye, she takes the rest of the Skruls to New Asgard. But literally a few months ago, in Secret Invasion, the US President declared Skruls as a hostile threat. The USA in the MCU knows about New Asgard, don't they? So what happens when the US figures out that New Asgard has Skruls? Doesn't that put the Skruls in even more danger as there's now a nation that openly hates them and calls them a threat? I don't get when The Marvels takes place. Is it before Secret Invasion or after?

[@boobah5643]

@@circle1552 The obvious answer is that whoever wrote the required end-state documents Just Didn't Care enough to bother including the state of the Skrulls for the 'writers' of _Secret Invasion._ That, or the MCU's continuity people somehow never noticed that people might actually act without a named character doing something on camera.

[@TheMovieCynic]

Hi I’m first.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Ladies don't like it when you arrive first.

[@gregmize01]

"we are honored that could join us."

[@idaniluz652]

​​@@TheLittlePlatoonbut that way you can guilt trip them to paying for the first date.

[@tremere3337]

I thought you were The Movie Cynic. What else have you been lying to us about!?

[@nico-ob6wj]

Hi first

[@clodolcmidnights837]

For someone who doesn’t like to be called the annihilator, captain marvel sure seems ok with attempting to do something that, if successful, will annihilate the entire universe

[@Natty_McBatty]

The analogy about the MCU being the worst case of explosive diarrhea was absolutely revolting.... And fitting. Thank you.

[@milquetoaste7144]

As one of the alphabet minorities who's life is apparently being saved by THE MESSAGE, I will be so glad when it's dead and I can look forward to entertainment again and I'm so relieved to find critics like you who are both scathingly intelligent AND not butt-monkeys for the cancerous MESSAGE. Gives me some hope at least. Hope you hit 500k bro 🙏

[@yagamifire7861]

Your life was saved by The Eternals and then again by this movie. Honestly you owe the MCU at this point and they demand total fealty!

[@Maladjester]

The one thing I don't get about Captain Marvel is, how did she get more juice off one accidental whiff of a single Infinity Stone than Thanos got from owning all six? If that little puff of energy makes you Superman, shouldn't six of the thing that produced it make you....like....six Supermans? Or more? I realize I'm asking a logical question in a universe with magic rocks, indestructible green rage monsters, and talking trees, but this bugs me.

[@denizen53]

What's makes it worse is that is Tesseract energy. That kills you in the first Captain America movie. It doesn't give you superpowers. It's so she doesn't have to get her powers from a strong male character like she did in the comics.

[@thefilthyrhombus3856]

No, no, it's a perfectly reasonable question. Just because a book/movie etc. has a fantastical element doesn't mean it now gets to flush all logical consistency down the toilet. It just means that said fantastical element must now conform to a logical consistency in its given universe. A prime example of this is "Teleporting Gandalf." In Lord of the Rings the wizard Gandalf can utilize all kinds of magic, but one magical ability he does not have is teleportation. Gandalf has to travel the same way a non magical person would. If Gandalf could teleport the plot of both The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings would be completely negated. If a prequel to The Hobbit was written and Gandalf can use teleportation then by the end of the story something has to happen that makes it impossible for Gandalf to teleport ever again. Otherwise the plot to The Hobbit and LotR now have a universe breaking logical inconsistency. If Gandalf could teleport why would he not do so when it was absolutely crucial that he do it? Therefor the only logical answer is Gandalf can't teleport. The unfortunate answer to your question is very simple yet very frustrating: bad writing. Carol not being wrecked by Thanos is just one of the universe breaking logical inconsistencies in Endgame. If Thanos can easily take on the Hulk with just two Infinity Stones, and Thor (whom Stan Lee is on record as saying is the most powerful hero in Marvel, and who defeated Thanos with all five stones in the last movie) with none, then he absolutely should have decimated Carol Danvers. Unfortunately the writers didn't care about logical consistency and were only concerned with trying to make their ridiculous shoehorned in Wonder Woman wannabe show how much more higher, further, faster she was than her puny male counterparts that they broke the universe for the fifth time in the same damn film. Sorry for the long reply, I wanted to be thorough and if you've read this far, I thank you.

[@andresanguianozuniga6798]

Well...at least in the comics they show You even GODS couldn't fight Thanos with the gauntlet. Nerfing sometimes suck.

[@StarWarsomania]

One might, perhaps, assume that Carol has had 30 years to hone her skills and discover the intricacies of her power, whereas Thanos literally just put the gauntlet on hours or even minutes beforehand. It’s like putting those caricatures of tiny old martial arts guys up against the beefy protagonist who’s like “I don’t want to hurt you” and the sensei just says “you won’t”. If I were being handed such a conundrum in a script to iron out, I’d have established that Carol routinely couldn’t control her powers early on, she could not aim them, she hurt herself regularly, and maybe even hurt or killed someone close to her by not having control over her powers. When we see her again 30 years later, we learn that she’s spent that time learning how to control her powers, experimenting, and imply that she’s learned to “think laterally” around problems. When we see her in battle later in the movie, we don’t just see her being a StrongMan tanking hits, she’s kinda using her powers the way the sorcerers in Infinity War/Endgame did, in a “lateral thinking” kind of way. When she 1v1’s Thanos, you can see that even though Thanos is now ridiculously OP, he suffers the same problem Carol did when she first got her superpowers, and can’t really control what he’s doing completely. This gives her an edge, particularly since she understands intrinsically how “infinity powers” work. She can’t match him for raw power, but that raw power isn’t as useful as he thinks it is. This would secondarily explain why she’s been completely unreachable and uninterested in the goings-on of the universe - she’s purposely isolated herself from any contact with the rest of the universe until she got her unpredictable powers under control, after realizing how dangerous she was. And also nicely explains why she hasn’t aged in 30 years either. Of course, the writers couldn’t be arsed to spend the 20 minutes I did working around this problem they made for themselves.

[@arasuka6889]

You forgot about black girl magic

[@paulappleton9666]

I wonder, have we reached the absolute nadir of the MCU with the Marvels, or are there depths yet still to discover?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’m always cautious to label anything the worst of all time. They always find new depths.

[@Seomus]

The depths of the abyss are fathomless.

[@darthgamer9861]

@@TheLittlePlatoonamen. I thought She Hulk would hold the title of “worse TV show ever” and then fucking Velma showed up.

[@austinbaker8042]

There's always farther to fall. Especially now that Johnathan Majors is fired

[@sqwalnoc]

Bloody hell I hope not, if they get much worse they might develop films that literally give you cancer

[@chlorarthur9638]

If after the switch they still continue using their powers, it's a miracle Carole hasn't light blasted anyone innocent after teleporting out of fights, like Rambo, Fury, or Pakistani family

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s a miracle. It’s also a shame. That would’ve been very funny.

[@chlorarthur9638]

@@TheLittlePlatoon then you tell me that Carole has "White Girl Magic" (plz don't ban me KZbin)

[@jonathan39272]

@@chlorarthur9638you tellin me Carol Danvers can channel “White Power” 😭😂😂😂😭

[@chaosgyro]

If the Kree homeworld has been trash, and the empire essentially destroyed, for 30 years then why are they talked about as a healthy, vibrant, possibly dangerous superpower in the first Guardians movie?

[@felipemontero1087]

Almost as like the Marvel diversity hire writers put no fucking effort

[@Zinlain]

@@felipemontero1087 If they did have any thought put into it they'd make a point that "Destroying Planets Wholesale" is againt Kree beliefs or some shit so Ronan the Accuser running about passing judgement on entire worlds is something he could only get away with because of the Empire's collapse. But they'd rather call anyone who thinks a sequentially told story should actually remember what came before so they dont constantly contradict themselves "losers"... because apparently we are just supposed to cheer when things explode and they declare diversity instead of bothering with an actual story. Consume product then be excite for next product, etc.

[@quentinulysses8237]

Platoon needs more viewers so he can do this full time, we need weekly videos

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s a full-time job already! Though I’m hoping to take on a full-time editor in January.

[@quentinulysses8237]

@@TheLittlePlatoon please do because we’re greedy for more

[@LiterallyAWesternHognose]

​​@@TheLittlePlatoonWe hunger for your content....your wit and humour remind me that humanity isnt lost.....quite yet.

[@afkalmighty1557]

In this economy, there isn't enough bad content for weekly videos of this caliber lol

[@cosmictreason2242]

Platoon is the kind of gay man i can get behind

[@absalomvane7776]

RIP to The Don, you were too good for this benighted world.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Don with the wind.

[@TheMadRooster09]

I swear, platoon is becoming more and more uncensored and unhinged. Just a brilliant, honest critic. One of the best I've ever seen. With every criticism, he brings genuine facts and concerns that support said criticisms.

[@THEGM1234]

“Blacker girl magic”- Lil Platoon 2023

[@elucidation3064]

These women saw the amount of power the marvel movies had in the culture. And they desired that power for themselves, they wanted the eyes to be on them, the adoration. So they complained their way into the films and instead of getting that adoration and validation, they destroyed what made them valuable in the first place. Evil cannot create.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Women are starved for attention.

[@cadenadelreino1442]

It’s not about women If you are a grown adult with a healthy mind. It’s about talented and less talented people. Like…Iron Man 3 is a terrible film. It’s carried by RDJ somehow, but still, a terrible film. A lot of older MCU films are like that. But your minds are fogged.

[@crazyralph6386]

@@cadenadelreino1442that’s nice however, Disney even marketed this dreck of a film as “the first blk female director” in the early stages, so your point is moot. the OP is right, these culture vultures want all the adulation without putting in the necessary work, and when things go south, they don’t want to take any responsibility for their actions. now that this film is a bomb, it’s all of a sudden a man’s film(Kevin Feige). it’s complete and utter bs.

[@faythsdream]

This is not saying women can’t make good things. Incompetence and malice aren’t particular to either gender.This particular type of feminism however, cannot make good things.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

​​@@cadenadelreino1442I'm not so sure about that. What's happened to the MCU had already happened to both Marvel and DC Comics right about the time they decided they needed more female writers and characters and needed stories to appeal to women. And LGBTQ+ people too. Basically when superhero stories are written more for social reasons than sheerly for entertainment things go badly wrong. Captain Marvel has failed in both the comics and on-screen. The sad thing is that as Ms Marvel Carol Danvers had finally become a pretty prominent and popular character naturally. When they gave her the Captain Marvel moniker and changed her personality the company tried to push her to prominence unnaturally and it just didn't work.

[@DmitryElizarov]

Not only they transformed a normal human fighter jet into a space shuttle overnight in the first movie, but they did it primarily with the help of Norax, an apparently extremely valuable Scrull technician they then left behind as a failed distraction to be slayed by Jude Law, thus giving him he information he wouldnt have gotten otherwise had they all left together.

[@JebboBaggins]

Wait this isn’t Mauler… A rival Longman approaches!

[@bad-people6510]

As for the One-Piece thing, it's actually better than you think it is. It's sometimes better at that even than the source material. One of my favorite examples of Luffy's optimism vs Nami's pessimism in that show is :SPOILERS: when they argue about the story book, about Montblanc Noland. It's a book about how Noland was a liar whose lie about finding a city of gold got a bunch of people killed when he couldn't produce it. Nami takes the book for what it is whereas Luffy says "Imagine losing an entire city made of gold." Luffy defaults to the best in everyone. He believes Montblac Noland. And it's a remarkably good instinct because he's right. Noland wasn't lying.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Good point!

[@TheREALSimagination]

As a Norwegian, I'm always happy to see my country repped in any medium, and while this point is less to do with the movie The Marvels, I *was* sad to hear that what supposed to pass as New Asgard, Tønsberg, Norway in End Game was in fact *not* Tønsberg, Norway. It wasn't *anywhere,* Norway. Not the only reason the Avengers saga ended with Infinity War for me, but there you go.

[@jeremyk9000]

Little Platoon is the classiest savage ive ever heard. Thanks for another video you champion. Extremely entertaining stuff.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thank you very much!

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

I was going to say it's funny that MCU Spiderman had to lose both parental figures to lean his lesson, but then I remembered that there's almost no evidence Uncle Ben exists in the MCU.

[@pascalsimioli6777]

To be fair Uncle Ben doesn't exist in any universe, that's kinda his thing.

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

@pascalsimioli6777 No, he exists in most universes, he's just dead. There's even one or two where he becomes Spiderman.

[@thefilthyrhombus3856]

They seriously couldn't just have Aunt May say, "remember what your Uncle Ben told you, with great power," etc. No it's her line now. Just like how "plant yourself like a tree and say to the world, no you move," is apparently Peggy Carter's and not Steve Rogers'. I wouldn't be at all surprised if when the Fantastic Four roll out Sue Storm is the one to yell out, "it's clobberin' time!"

[@jeggsonvohees2201]

@@thefilthyrhombus3856 When dis they give it to Peggy? I must have missed that.

[@thefilthyrhombus3856]

@@jeggsonvohees2201 It's in Civil War. When Sharon Carter is giving Peggy's eulogy she attributes the quote to Peggy and her struggles with the glass ceiling in regards to her career in espionage. Again they could've just as easily had a line where Steve tells Sharon, "I remember saying that to her after I had returned from rescuing Bucky," etc. It would have served the same purpose, Peggy's belief in the saying being what inspires Steve to stand his ground in regards to his position on the Sokovia Accords, but it wouldn't have unceremoniously stolen the credit from the original speaker being Steve.

[@Garian9]

I watched a 5+ hour review/critique of a film I haven't, nor will ever, seen and I don't regret it at all.

[@cassiopeia21]

19:48 the cut to Tom Holland after her saying "I don't know, does anyone want me to do it again" is quite literal perfection.

[@achair7958]

And with this brilliant takedown, only one question remains... Can Aquaman 2 out-flop it?

[@AnemoneEnemy]

Yes, yes it can!

[@DrGonzo57]

That was The Little Platoon Cut. Wow took me 3 days but well worth it great job mate. Happy New Year @littleplatoon

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

And to you!