Informal vs. formal address in Spanish: when to use tú/vos or usted

[@davidwang3969]

This is the best Spanish learning channel on KZbin and its not even close

[@tenminutespanish]

Thank you so much!

[@diegocabreraesquivel2058]

Mexican here: (From Mexico City) -I'm the first generation in my family that addresses older family members with tú. My parents address my grandparents with usted, I use tú with my grandparents and parents though. I once asked my grandparents and aunts and uncles if they would like me to address them using usted and they flat out told me that was not necessary. I would feel weird if I did. -In university a few teachers have told the class to use tú with them, however, hardly anybody uses tú with teachers even though they encourage tuteo. When a classmate uses tú with a teacher, even though he/she won't be rebuked, I feel a strange sensation in my spine. -I use usted with my dog. I wasn't conscious of me using usted with my dog until someone pointed it out. -We use usted with little children. Again, I didn't realized we did until someone mentioned it. -A have acquaintances from Chiapas, a State in México in which voseo is used. Since they are living in Mexico City they don't use voseo. I asked a friend why and she told that voseo was used in their household with her family and close friends in Chiapas. I think of this as code switching between dialects depending on the State she's in. Another thing worth mentioning is that she uses the voseo forms in the subjunctive form. No te preocupés, no te movás, cuando podás.

[@tenminutespanish]

Very interesting!! Thank you so much for this contribution.

[@bl0xypl3b97]

it’s very interesting that you use usted subconsciously with your dog. imagining that is honestly cute and heart warming, that highlight made my day 🥹

[@murakyo79]

Most of the people I've meet use vos even in formal situations. I'm from Argentina but I was raised by much more conservative/old way people, so I use usted with almost everyone. Except on the Internet, where I use mostly vos since I don't see why I should be so respectful.

[@Entropy825]

Thanks for contributing.

[@mep6302]

Same. I'm also from Argentina and I tend to use usted very often with strangers who are older than me.

[@jordanhoover1917]

Right now I'm living in Medellín and one thing that happens here is that many men aren't comfortable using "tú" with other men, only women. So I've had some male friends who continue to use "usted" with me even after we know each other. Also some communities in Medellín/Bogotá (as far as I know) almost exclusively use "usted" even with family and friends. See La Vendedora de Rosas as an example. ** Big note that I'm obviously here as a foreigner so open to corrections from a native or others!**

[@tenminutespanish]

Thank you for these contributions. I've heard the same things about those parts of Colombia, although I've never been further north than Ipiales.

[@asheekss]

Yes this is very spot on. My mom is from Cali and we’ve alway used vos but my husband who is from Bogotá has always usted usted when he addresses his close family members.

[@mep6302]

I'm from Argentina and I use "usted" very often with older people. My parents addressed my grandparents with usted. I always address my teachers with "usted" and people around me too (with the exception of undedicated people or people who have been with that teacher more than one year maybe). I always address people my age and younger with vos. I sometimes address those people with usted when being way too serious. I prefer to use usted with all strangers when I can't tell their age that easily because I'm an introvert and I prefer to keep distance. That's something that I dislike about my culture their "closeness" which doesn't feel good at all, in my experience. That's why I've become much more closed and will use "usted" on purpose to mark distance with those people who believe I'm their "friend" or something.

[@TallWillow1]

The person who called her dog tu and her cat usted reminds me of the saying that dogs have owners and cats have staff.

[@tenminutespanish]

True!

[@L.A.ismyname]

How do you have so little views?? You're great! You have such interesting topics about Spanish! Keep it up!

[@tenminutespanish]

Thank you!

[@auntiecarol]

Hearing the story of father switching to usted upon his son's marriage brought a tear to my eye. Beautiful anecdote. Thank you.

[@cocacoffee8560]

I'm from the country side of Colombia. There we only use "usted", we use it with family, friends, kids... I think we are the only Spanish speaking country with this preference for "usted" but I'm not sure, I'd like to know the opinion of another Spanish speaker ;)

[@andiehernandez1995]

In many rural areas of Nicaragua people use exclusively "usted". In most (if not all) urban areas people use "usted" only in formal settings and "vos" in the informal ones. Nobody uses "tú".

[@sortingoutmyclothes8131]

All my life, whenever I used usted with my teachers they'd almost always get upset and tell me "Oh, I'm not so old, am I?" Especially women. Older teachers, more serious teachers and male teachers less so though. Here in Buenos Aires, usted is losing ground rapidly, usually used only in very stilted contexts, like in very serious work environments. When you talk to a stranger older than you, it's correct to use usted, but it's rare that anyone will get upset if you use vos. I feel like using usted is almost like a sign that you're calling the person old, rather than anything else. I remember as a teenager I went to a small, neighborhood institute to learn some very basic martial arts. The school was small and very intimate, but the power dynamics in martial arts are very strict. I remember contorting my speech in all sorts of weird ways to avoid using the second person with my teacher, because I felt like usted would be weirdly distant and formal, but vos wouldn't be respectful enough, lol. Something that happens a lot is that people will start taling to someone in a higher position than them, like a professor or something, with usted, but as the conversation progresses, they'll get more and more inconsistent and add more instances of voseo. I feel that what you mentioned about Spain is generally true here in Buenos Aires as well.

[@tenminutespanish]

Very interesting insights. Thank you.

[@SiddharthS96]

Really interesting video! I notice like in Spain, there's a similar preference of using tu instead of vous in France nowadays, maybe it's a European thing?

[@tenminutespanish]

I think this is all over the western world. We all seem to be leveling out social strata.

[@MJ-em_jay]

This was really interesting and helpful. Also, great illustrations/drawings!

[@tenminutespanish]

Thanks! I'm really happy you liked the video.

[@rickyricardo69]

my parents (salvadoran immigrants) use usted when speaking to eachother. i always found this kind of odd bc most of the other married couples in my family use vos with eachother!

[@tenminutespanish]

How interesting.

[@c4j754]

I've heard prayers where God was addressed as "tu", which absolutely floored me when I first heard it. It still feels too chummy with someone who's supposed to be the most high, even though I'm not religious and have much more experience with Spanish than when I first heard it. It should make more sense to me by now, but as a non-native speaker, it's just one of those quirks that just doesn't click in my brain.

[@tenminutespanish]

Ya, that is interesting. I have heard thousands of prayers in Spanish, all in tú. I think it's a few things. One is closeness. You're supposed to be close to God. Another is simplicity. But another is history and tradition. The standards for prayer were established back when tú was the only singular form of address. Later as fancy expressions were invented for addressing people of high social status, it would have been weird to address God with those expressions. In English we don't call God "your grace" or "your highness". We use the simple "thou", which in older forms of English was even more basic than "you". Similar to how the traditional English Bible used thou and ye, the Spanish Bible uses tú and vosotros.

[@HuugyBearInc]

honestly it seems that there are so many different cultures that use the second person pronouns in different ways that i really dont worry about it anymore... I spent some time in spain so I usually just go with tu, and only usted if its an older person or maybe a professor, but my professor spent alot of time in spain and prefers that we use tu

[@tenminutespanish]

More than 90% of the Spanish speaking world does distinguish between formal/informal in normal social interaction; essentially 100% of Latin America. They will probably forgive you for not doing it, but they will notice if you don't, and it will contribute to the foreignness of your speech. I recommend cultivating a sense of when to use each. Unless you plan on speaking exclusively with Spaniards, I don't recommend neglecting this important aspect of Hispanic culture.

[@HuugyBearInc]

@@tenminutespanish no i would not neglect it… luckily my expirience with familiarity and formality has been similiar to yours… so it all has come very natural to me, but still I dont really interact with many people that I can tratar de usted… so by default I am almost always using tu

[@owen_reynolds]

I have one question with this. Where I grew up in the South, we use sir and ma’am when speaking to someone older, but (almost) never with someone my age or within 5~15 years, depending on context. The biggest exception is that when I am being served by someone, say, at a restaurant, I generally use sir/ma’am, even if they are relatively close in age to me. Would this be the same in Spanish with tú/usted? Would you use ud. with someone your age if they were your waiter/waitress? Thanks

[@tenminutespanish]

Yes. You use usted anytime you feel you should be showing a bit more respect. This is a good example of such a situation.

[@kaikaichen]

This video reminded me of the incident at the 2007 Ibero-American summit where King Juan Carlos of Spain angrily said, _“¿Por qué no te callas?”_ to the late Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez for repeatedly interrupting the Spanish prime minister's speech. It was surprising to many because he used _tú_ in that situation - the familiar form of “you”.

[@tenminutespanish]

Very interesting example! I remember that.

[@murakyo79]

He did that because he was angry and wanted to disrespect him. Like the equivalent of saying "Shut up idiot!" Without using an insult.

[@ricardo4943-k6b]

I don't know if it the same in other families, but in my Salvadorian family, We Use Usted for your parents and older extended family, and use vos for siblings, Your kids, and extended family that are the same age or younger

[@tenminutespanish]

Very interesting. Thank you for contributing. I think more people use usted with their parents than I realized.

[@ricardo4943-k6b]

@@tenminutespanish I don’t see why you wouldn’t use usted with your parents; one part is just how I was raised, but also your mother went through so much pain to give life to you, so why wouldn’t you be the most respectful with her?

[@tenminutespanish]

@@ricardo4943-k6b Different Spanish speaking cultures do it differently. For some usted isn't just about respect but also distance. In some dialects of Spanish they don't see immediate family as having social distance.