INFP- ENFJ/ESFJ Romantic Compatibility?

Hey guys, this video was a pain to finally get uploaded because of technical difficulties. My take on ENFJs and ESFJs and what I think about them being INFP's so-called "ideal" match in response to a request. *Note, I do not dislike ESFJs, I'd just rather date/marry a different type. x
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#ESFJINFPromance #infpesfjrelationship #infpenfjromance
Filmed: April 3, 2017
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Music: • Video

[@michaelscarborough7011]

Thanks for the video!!! I am a Male INFP who was with a Female ESFJ for 6 years. It was great and horrible at the same time. You said it. We both cared so much but just saw it in differing ways. She did help me out of my shell and I opened up so many worlds and ideas for her. We did some awesome things together. But in the end I felt she didn't get my feelings when she was overbearing and I withdrew and she felt abandoned and had a defensive attitude that pushed me into emotional corners. Not a healthy recipe . We ended up just putting up walls and resenting each other. I also got blamed for being a narcissist. Hurt so bad, if she only knew... I would never recommend an INFP and ESFJ to anybody!!

[@YEDxYED]

A narcissist??? Now idk you so you could very well be one 😂 BUT, wtf! That would’ve pissed me off

[@CasualCognition]

Totally agree with you about potential Fi and Fe-dom clash. My mom is ENFJ and I'm INFP. Nonstop fighting ensues. But I'm flattered when people occasionally mistype me as ENFJ, as I believe ENFJs to be some of the most "conventionally attractive" females. ENFJ males also tend to be very charismatic, though that's not really a quality I'm looking for in a romantic partner, haha.

[@lottychan]

I'm an INFP too and my long term partner is an ESFJ and it's like the best relationship I've ever had. I believe we are both really considerate and supportive and he helps me going out of my compfort zone if I need to. He is confident but also very altruistic and emotionally intelligent which is making me even more proud of him. It's very interesting because while he isn't really creative he enjoys creativity and spiritual topics which gives me a also a lot to think about. My best friend on the other hand is an INFJ and I really love hanging out with her since we are both really artistic and dive deep in topics we find interesting. Downside is she and my partner are both ok with each other but that's everything. Hahaha.

[@Olivetree80]

Very insightful for not having experienced a romantic relationship with either!

[@alicemudgarden92]

I'm INFP and I've been with an ESFJ. My mom is also ENFJ. I learned my lesson, avoid at all costs. That match is a train wreck waiting to happen

[@akaboo69]

I like ENFP girls but they can be flighty which is not cool

[@luisquinones8362]

I am INFP married to an ESFJ , it is not easy , but we compliment eachother, i kind of needed a motherly figure with structure , but the emotions everywhere is so true omg.

[@swingonthespiral]

As in infp, I couldnt be attracted entjs. I was raised around 3 of them and they always have to control, be the best, and only care about society's values as well. I think two infps with similar values are the best match, followed by enfj with similar values to the infp.

[@SS-bu8ez]

Enfjs are super controlling too

[@akaboo69]

I talked to a singer who's an ENFJ on Facebook and I'm very drawn to her. I had a huge crush on her a while back.

[@Boujeekorsi]

I'm an INFP T and my girlfriend is ESFJ. We've made it 8 months and it's a non-stop battle in EVERY THING. I've never had issues like we have so naturally as an INFP, I'm going to try to figure this out. First of all, I never knew my personality type. I thought I was extroverted because I'm cool with meeting people and having meaningful convo's but nope, I was wrong. I love my alone time, reflecting/thinking inwardly and conspiracy theories and trying to prove or disprove them by intuition. I made her take the test and found she was ESFJ and research shows...we should probably not get along. I'm also 51% P and 49% J and I've taken 10 different tests to make sure and 80% I was INFP, in 20% I was INFJ. Last night I tried to have a conversation with her about evolution and global warming....terrible idea. I will 100% support your advise on ESFJ's. I will likely never try this combination again. Rarely do I find a compatibility issue with personalities but she pushes buttons that I didn't even know I had.

[@kobron1559]

Ben Korsi try to remain optimistic about whoever you encounter besides knowing their personality type lol As long as you vibe with the person, that's all that matters. But I understand where you're coming from as an infp too 👍

[@Boujeekorsi]

I'm always optimistic! I sort of enjoy this challenge most of the time with this ESFJ p-type. It is just a struggle...communicating is very difficult but not impossible!

[@iwasanMBTInerd]

Sounds like me and my mom hahaha.

[@alicemudgarden92]

My mom is an ESFJ and we clashed a lot while I was growing up and at times we still do. The one girl I've ever dated was also an ESFJ and she made me never want another relationship. The amount of effort it would've taken to make that work was not worth it - INFP

[@madera3650]

esfj never work with any other type well, in fact we infp's are usually the first to offer them true human warmth.

[@thatandrogirl9779]

Loved this video and I agree with all of this! I'm also someone who grew up around a lot of xSFJs and also have an ESFJ mom, so most of this was true for me. Like you, I haven't really met any ENFJs, I mean, I think I might have known one back in middle/high school and I may know one now, and if they were/is one then the experience has been kind of meh. Like you mentioned, they can be very warm but sometimes the more time you spend time around them, the more overbearing and smothering they become, and in contrast, sometimes their inner mean girl can come out and it always surprises me because they're usually so nice and it kinda turns me off. I honestly don't have anything against ExFJs or even IxFJs, I think they have their faults like any other type, but having spent my life, even today, with the closest people to me being xSFJs, I just, like you kinda said, want to see what else is out there. I want to meet other types that I will hopefully gel better with, primarily those that don't have Fe or Si as their top two functions, not because I'm hating, but just because I've had an overabundance of those people in my life and I desperately need something different, I need people I can relate to. I'm tired of Si because the sensor talk and the whole holding onto tradition without any good reason why, and I'm tired of Fe because they care too much about what other people think and I'm at a time in my life where I'm trying to do the opposite of that. Like you, I could go on even more about it all, but maybe I will also make a video ;) I just started a channel, check it out!

[@wkcyrokin122]

I don't think I would personally work with any sensing type. I'd rather have a fellow intuitive. One of my favorite characters of mine is an ESFJ and I love him to death, but I'm not sure I could see myself in a romantic relationship with him. He's a bit needy, honestly. :P Sweet, caring, encouraging person, but needy. I also have a strong preference for thinking types, and my favorite personality types are all NTs. To balance out my introversion I pretty much need an extravert: ENT. I didn't really have an overall preference for ENTJ or ENTP before, because I admire both, but apparently INFP-ENTP relationships don't work quite as well. I also happen to have a huge crush on an ENTJ right now, whereas the ENTP I knew in high school I didn't really have an attraction to. But I think on the same wavelength as this ENTJ guy. I've never connected with someone on that sort of level before... So ENTJ is my personal ideal romantic type. Apparently a lot of others say this pairing works as well, so I'm interested to see how our friendship develops. :)

[@elliewoods4130]

I'm an INFP... I have a "crush" on Hans, too. Oh my-😂⚘ New suscriber

[@cknitta]

I totally agree with you on this. I'm INFP and married an ISFP. I need the Fi. But my in-laws are all heavy Fe users. So much conflict there! I do have some good xNFJ friends, but I don't think I could ever marry them.

[@lei5912]

I'm an INFP and my mom is an ESFJ, but we work perfectly together (probably because she is my mom but ya know)

[@peace2752]

hey me too! infp with and esfj mum and we’re inseparable :)

[@moatdel5387]

Good video, I think all of the intuitives are in Minnesota and Montana so we gotta go there to find our people

[@alicemudgarden92]

I'm in Massachusetts - INFP

[@lindsey8456]

I agree with the ESFJ. I have one who is an acquaintance/concert & music friend, but we can clash quite often and she can be quite moody and misunderstand me even though she thinks she understands me. And this reminds me of your last video I commented in where you talked about sensory things that people say that piss you off. I want to get quite a few tattoos. Not TOO many, but enough that they'd be pretty noticeable and she said I don't look like someone who would have tattoos. And for some reason that just really annoyed me. I AM someone who would get tattoos because I AM getting them lol. And that has nothing to do with this video, but it just came to me. Funny side comment: my mom said to me when I was a lot younger that she was worried I'd date someone with a lot of tattoos. Little does she know..I REALLY go off topic, my bad. I've just been on a video watching spree these past two days and keep commenting crap.

[@lindsey8456]

And I think it's easier to like them as characters because you don't interact with them. It's like a super hilarious, crazy character that you love but you would never be friends with them in real life.

[@Shannyrulz4eva]

Yup I hate that lol people assuming they know you or putting you in this box they made up themselves 😂 gosh golly leave us alone! We can do whatever we want man!

[@Labrujulaastral]

Great to have you back again!!! ^^ A pleasure.I think INFPs cannot deal so much with ExFJ's constant use of predominant "Fe"...It's difficult.INFPs are very reserved,introspective and do not want to display a big amount of emotion whereas Dominant "FEs" are just the contrary.But anyway,never say never...I recommend an INFP another "NF" type.I'm somehow between ENFP/INFP.Somehow ambivert and I understand your doubts with Fe people.Anyway,thanks for providing your thoughts.Fantastic,Brianna! Greetings ^^

[@mameta2079]

I thought ENTJs were supposed to be the best fit type. I see ENFJs as a type that INFP is aspiring to be...therefore likely to clash with them, particularly when they disappoint us or are extraverting the same feelings we are introverting.

[@madera3650]

actually it is esfp's who can extravert our feelings. ESFJ's and enfj's are the evil you don't see until it is too late

[@YEDxYED]

@@madera3650 Well I only knowingly had an ESFP supervisor, and from that experience I wouldn’t want to date one. When she let that barrier down, we could talk but the conversations weren’t deep enough

[@AndreasDevig]

@@madera3650 Fe-doms are not afraid to tell it like it is. They won't be afraid to say who they dislike and what they dislike about them. With Fe it's very much a case of what you see is what you get. If you watch Steve Schirripa on Talking Sopranos, you'll see what I mean. I believe he's an ESFJ. Fi is much more of a putting up a facade of being more tolerant and accepting of others [than they really are].

[@AndreasDevig]

@@YEDxYED Yeah I don't believe the supervising relationship is a good one, but the contrary/extinguishment relationship is supposed to be a really really bad one.

[@adamleach471]

I was drawn to Suki from avatar very quickly as an ENFJ, I enjoyed her caring and empathetic nature, helping to manage injustice is a noble cause, also a free spirit

[@papupaturbo]

Do a ENTJ-INFP relationship video please 💛💛❤️❤️💚💚💙💙💜💜

[@FseatS]

for conversation sake (mbti universe) from my own experience ISTJs and INTJs and maybe some ESTPs were my most natural matches.. don't get me wrong ENFJs and ESFJs i really get along with them its just i tend to be the one who want to control things or be left alone to make my own choices and these types want chose for you and more in the cases of ESTJs and ENTJs look mbti is just a pattern for all i know and not an essence of the identity..it could get addicting locking humanity in 16 patterns so just please be aware that its just one man's theory about what is going on inside us and not a factual knowledge. and when look at the variables its absurd to think that this is even remotely something that could be taken seriously..my two cents

[@Zohairshanteer]

I'm an Enfj man and Infp women are the best for us from my experience

[@squali1930]

I have a best friend shoes an ENFJ. we get along great but we deal with conflict differently. he yells and I stonewall. but he's the only crazy person that gets me. even though he sometimes sounds like he's speaking in hieroglyphics.

[@andrephmcr]

What's your thoughts on same type relationships? Non complementary couples that would be unsatisfied with each other or awesome compability?

[@jackmellor5536]

I've read the INFP book and it says a lot about relationship compatability betweenthe INFP and other types. It's an interesting read.

[@ganganthefatman1382]

What book?

[@Hewhoblue]

As isfp I get along very well with them but when they are so in their j mood I can’t i feel stuck and slow with them but my enfj sis since we are both the young in the family we get along very well her fe made my fi trust her like she knows my daily life stories and i know about her and we both like animals and she for some random reason always comes to me when she needs opinion about things related to colors hehe and we both joking around she knows I’m introverte and how i like to hide all the time but she also sees my crazy se moments if there’s one person in my life knows me for who i am it would be her even though we fight a lot but i kinda say it’s our different point of view but then 5 minutes later we forget about it I really happy that she’s my sis ❤️

[@TexasViking_INFP-t_5w4]

Imagine two massive inner worlds colliding into one epic sphere of mesmerizing beauty? Just imagine the feeling of being misunderstood, and watching it slowly fade away into nothingness? Imagine the yearning to be loved without the need to overextend or overexpose yourself to anyone becoming satisfied all of a sudden? Imagine a life without the unnecessary conflicts? Imagine a harmony and comfort that encapsulates you within a realm of sheer joy and delight, further beyond anything you’ve ever thought possible to even experience? Imagine a ferocious level of loyalty, and an even more intense level of trust and security? Imagine a world where your personal space and alone time is not only respected, but cherished by the other individual? This is what it would be like for two INFPs to come into contact with one another, romantically or platonically. -Rashed Hijazi I feel you. Me personally I want someone like us. I really hope I find her one day!

[@godmode3611]

I am ENFJ. I tend to like ISFP and INFP girls. I get along with those types. I clash more with ENFPs than with INFPs. I think the introversion extroversion pairing prevents a strong clash. Maybe you have dealt with unhealthy Fe dom traits. Or maybe your Fi is unhealthy an unable to coop with group feeling =P

[@madera3650]

why should I cope with group feeling

[@SS-bu8ez]

High Fe is extremely intrusive and disrespectful of personal space

[@godmode3611]

@@madera3650 That is unhealthy Fi

[@godmode3611]

@@SS-bu8ez What do you mean High? Is that mature or immature Fe?

[@demogorgon4244]

your earlier content fully asmr compatible haha.

[@YEDxYED]

I’m an INFP and my mom is an ESFJ I have an ESFJ friend as well. Friend=Cool and fun, but no so imaginative or philosophical. Caring as well ofc Mom=That Fe has definitely clashed with my Fi! Love her all the same. Enfj Found more than what seems possible. Girl=Instant connectivity but she moved a bit too fast and wanted-almost demanded-that relationship type love right off the bat. Friend= Great friends in my life

[@MeAnINFP]

It sounds like ESFJ and ENFJ might be better as friends versus close or romantic relationships!

[@YEDxYED]

@@MeAnINFP sounds about right to me. That Fe can simply be a little too overwhelming for a full blown relationship. I could even see this happening for my dad-istp-with an Estj. That Te would probably be overbearing to his Ti as well. I can see the premise. You know, we teach them to look inward and patiently think(Ti) or feel(Fi), and they teach us to not look inwardly sometimes, because it’s more efficient to go with what gets something done quicker instead of better(Te) and more considerate to do what the group wants(Fe). The problem is that in a relationship, that can seem like our partners are more so our directors or even worse, our parent. Idk if I even articulated that well, but I tried. Haven’t had enough Fi time to make it so clear in my head yet.

[@raysanchez85]

Do you think two INFP's would work? To recharge one another...

[@michaelscarborough7011]

Could defiantly work if you don't drain each other, Or hold on to problems for too long.

[@alicemudgarden92]

I'd feel very comfortable with a girl who was also INFP but the trouble is neither one of us would ever get anything done lol

[@Z3r0-old]

Socionics says EII-Fi is dual with ESTJ (lse-te) and ENTJ (lie-te). EII-Ne with ESTJ (lse-si) and ESFJ (ese-si). In socionics there's 2 variants of every type. This explains why you're getting a different experience to me. For me ESTJ (lse-si) was too emotionless and so far in my brief interactions ESFJ (ese-si) understands me. The ese-fe is mirage relations for me. I have also met the ESTJ (lse-te) and ENTJ (lie-te) and have semi duality with both but I don't get mobilized by Te and thus their advice doesn't work on me. For you the ESFJ relations are contrary and illusionary, hence why you don't like the relation. Si for me is mobilising, once I'm relaxed and comfortable I can suggest myself some Te tasks. Which means I have to be the opposite of mobile lol. However it would be Te mobilises you and Si suggestive. I don't know how that would work irl.

[@ConcaCon]

I don't know if I've ever met a female ENFJ that I know is an ENFJ. I know one male ENFJ currently dating an INFJ. I've met a few ESFJs who've shown to have no concept of discretion or personal space. So that'd be a problem. ENTJ is probably a better match than ENFJ for INFP long term. Then again obviously it's a case-by-case issue.

[@ombrifugeix4129]

Agreed. Fe doms + Fi doms = bad match. The people I’ve had the hardest time getting along with have been ExFJs. IxFJs are at least somewhat more tolerable. My best relationships have been with other IP types.

[@mikesd.3630]

Hey guys!! good day or evening to you. I was hoping to chat with an INFP here among you.. I just want to see if being an ENFJ on another culture could be compatible with an INFP with other cultures. :) hoping to hear from you soon.. thank you and..looking forward to chat with you soon.. hehehe. PEACE!

[@remindyouofwho7201]

Haha! I didn't realize that Hans was an ENFJ. ENFJs are more selfless than they are selfish.

[@RCAnderson42]

ENFJ - Hiya! Also, not a sociopath! Lol

[@MeAnINFP]

Hi! Nice to have you, non-sociopath ENFJ 😄💓

[@RCAnderson42]

@@MeAnINFP thanks!

[@bbjudyfit]

11:30 .. dated an esfj ... true ... i loved him.. but my psychologist helped me realize sometimes we date who our parents are :/ I almost threw up

[@MeAnINFP]

Just like how often people who've been abused as children grow up to choose abusive romantic relationships. People are subconsciously drawn to what they're used to. It's crazy.

[@danielcooke9974]

I'm INFP it's a struggle finding potential matches, I don't go fully in on the personalty types but is it normal for a infp to find attraction?

[@MeAnINFP]

I personally also find it difficult to find someone compatible, but there are a lot of factors outside of mbti that influence that too. Your individual values, dealbreakers, religion, etc. As for attraction, INFPs can still be on the range of sexuality (asexual, demisexual/demiromantic , etc) like any other type. But yes I think it can be harder for INFPs to find their match compared to some other types because we are both unique and selective. Attraction can’t be forced and it might not happen as much as we’d like.

[@danielcooke9974]

@@MeAnINFP I hear you, thanks. it has happened in the past a few times, but after knowing someone for a while is confusing, first is strange because the anxiety defence type mode goes down then its like a slap round the face with a frying pan but if it does not lead to anything I go into will it every happen again.

[@renouveausyncretique6654]

I like the subject. Thank's

[@bbjudyfit]

04:46 i agree with this on a whole notha level

[@aq8818]

umm what type do U think is the best match for infp?

[@MeAnINFP]

I don't really think I can narrow it down to one type. INFPs can work out with intuitive feelers, intuitive thinkers, some sensing feelers, even some sensing thinkers. I think it depends on the INFP and what their needs are in a relationship, how sensitive they are, etc. I've seen INFPs happy with thinkers, but I think it might require more work than it would with a fellow feeler. The best match would be a person who accepts the INFP's qualities in a noncritical way and works on understanding them, their turbulence, feelings, changing emotions, as well as the good parts of them. Emotionally available and calmer than the INFP. I think even Fe users could work with some INFPs if it was more toned down in a lower stacking, but it will require more communication. I still think dom Fe is a bit too much.

[@aq8818]

@@MeAnINFP well said 🙂

[@julyy7771]

i think that NF's and ESxJ relationships (not only couple) just can't work or at least are not really enjoyable, from an INFP perspective. i mean, i'm currently abroad to learn a new language and i'm in a family of 4 in which everyone seems to be ESxJ and i can say as an INFP that i really don't feel confortable with them. I find them pretty judgmental, too much analytists of things and situations in the details, too many rational, logic thoughts, not enough Fi and Ne actually and i find it boring and annoying. for example, when we went to a classical concert or to the cinema, they speak a long time after about what was good or not, but in a very objective way, like they don't have (or don't show idk) personnal feelings. As an INFP, when i deeply liked or disliked sth, there is most of the time any explanations, it's just my complete being who is moved by the work of art, i don't need to over-analyze sth to know if i feel touched or not, it's just my feelings. The boy is probably an ESTJ and it's just impossible to relate to him, he always think he's right, has a really conformist view of things, not openminded at all ect... On the other hand, i believe that my mother-in-law is also an SJ, exactly ISFJ but i think the I and F can balanced in a good way (always from an INFP view) the SJ type. She's really supportive to me when i need it and can understand and empathize a lot. But anyway, i'm 99.9% sure i won't hang out with an SJ man. Sorry if some SF's read my post, but it's just to say that i don't believe it's a good match

[@Burtifly]

Hans ENFJ evil????