INFP & ISTP Chat | Jason (w INFP wife cameo)

[@jasonhargis5598]

Thanks for having us on Sean. It was a good experience. I’m extra proud of Nichole too.

[@INFPHD]

Was my pleasure - glad you two enjoyed 👍🏻👍🏻 Sean

[@EarthenCavy]

INFP wife here, with an ISTP husband. That “phone time” thing is so, so relatable. Just sitting on the sofa, leaning against him (that physical love language means a lot to him), messing on the internet or playing games is our idea of a great evening. And, omg, that mutual “this is stupid” thing, AHAHA!! 😂 That’s us so much! I loved listening in. Team INFP+ISTP forever! 🥰

[@hyperashitive3217]

I am an INFP female and I've been in a 10 year relationship with an ISTP male. I can say that this relationship definitely has its positives and negatives but one of the positives being that since we are both introverts we both understand each other's need for alone time and often enjoy staying at home watching T.V together or enjoying each other's company without the need for going out. I find that the ISTP is the more "practical" personality of the two and is a huge help to INFP when it comes to fixing things around the house or if say, the car battery needs to be replaced the ISTP will usually know how to fix almost anything. ISTPs help ground the idealistic INFP type into reality. The INFP can help ISTPs look at the bigger picture and help the ISTP to see the deeper meaning of almost any issue as well as help ISTPs with situations that are emotionally charged. The biggest problem that I've experienced with this relationship is that both of us being perceiving types we tend to be too relaxed when it comes to household chores and even though we both like to "go with the flow" household structure tends to be a problem and its usually the INFP who has to do something about it so as to not feel too out of balance. The other issue I see is that ISTPs don't do well when it comes to understanding other people's emotional needs or even their own which can leave the INFP feeling emotionally neglected when the INFP tells the ISTP how they are feeling and there is little to no understanding of where the INFP is coming from. I also have a tendency to "coddle" my ISTP partner which is something he gets far too used to when I have a period of needing to focus on myself for a little while. I think this relationship can work really well as long as both learn how to adapt to one another and I know that my ISTP loves me even if he doesn't express it to the extent that an INFP would.

[@Mrmuffinlol]

hello how do you get an istp interested in you as an infp female? i need help with one!

[@gwen9103]

That's so funny 10 year with an istp and I'm an infp and I 100% agree with you!! 😆

[@funwithranger7398]

I’m an infp married to my istp hubby for 24 years. I just as a nurse, I so relate to Sean! My job was so difficult technically, but I loved the emotional part of nursing. My husband and I are very in love after all these years. He’s a CLASSIC istp, such a technical and creative genius.

[@maja6466]

It was a really compelling interview with Jason and Nicole 🙂 It let me find out more about ISTP's perspective of INFP personality and it's a really interesting topic to me because I am an INFP whose best friend is an ISTP. Here's what I think about our friendship: What I like about my friend is her independence from others and steadiness. She doesn't panic too often (unless she sees a spider) and can settle me down with her calm attitude when I am panicked. She also can find practical sollutions to many problems (including mine) and she's a very good listener. What I admire about her (and would like to learn it from her) is the ability to countering people's arguments when she wants to prove her point. She can do it so smoothly and logically that it is almost imposible to take her down. But there are also some things that I don't necessarily like about our relationship. For instance, it bothers me when I am very excited about something (like a new movie that I just watched) and she just doesn't care about why it was so great to me. She listens to me but she doesn't share my enthusiasm. In short, lots of things that are exciting to me, are not exciting to her. Sometimes it makes my heart broken when she suggests that my enthusiasm (or any other feeling) is just an overreaction. I believe that what we have in common is that we don't like to pretend anything, we are authentic personalities and we are loyal to those we care about. Our friendship is like a collision of two different worlds, but still - somehow we like each other and have been friends for over 12 years. Anyway... Thank you for the video! And sorry for such a long comment 😅

[@INFPHD]

Awesome to hear your best friend is ISTP! I can see how there are those different world perspectives, but also the pairing can really help each other out in an "understanding" type way. I totally get you with finding something you are enthusiastic about and other around you not sharing the same excitement. It plays out for me with these KZbin videos pretty much for every one lol - Something popped into my mind that I was excited to talk about each week, I do all my video stuff, and then my excited mind expects a video to do better than it did. It's just a matter of stepping back and understanding that not everyone is going to be up for sharing the same enthusiasm - some will, but not everyone. We also turn down things that others are into it's just for us when things properly align in our Fi value department we fire on all systems with excitement and can think it's the best thing ever (even if it turns out to be short lived because we move on quick lol). So when someone takes that perfectly aligned inner excitement and minimizes it....it's hard for us to accept and feel they just don't care about us in certain situations. Sean

[@maja6466]

@@INFPHD Thanks for response :) Yeah, you're right, it's a matter of stepping back in such situations. It's not always easy but for sure worth learning

[@antondeannova7016]

my friend did not decide based on the type ... but in your opinion which of the electricians and mechanics is the most suitable for ISTP ...? who often work alone using the minds and hands of a (physical) electrician or mechanic ...?

[@CamiKaze22]

I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is an ISTP and I see a lot of similarities between him and Jason. My boyfriend and I are alike, but so different at the same time. Maybe it's bc we're both introverted and we don't mind giving each other lots of space. We do both clash a lot due to our values and point of views. Thanks for this video. It gives me some insights on what areas we need to work on.

[@INFPHD]

Thanks girl and nice to meet you. Yeah I’m positive I work around a ton of ISTP makes for the past 20 years, but as for knowing an officially typed one Jason is the first. So yeah, after digging around into ISTP I did see a good bit of commonalities between us and them including that need for space and doing our own thing. I can also see the types clashing a good bit to where I think Jason has that part pretty balanced... Sean

[@juliazhou692]

Same girl. I’m INFP and my bf is ISTP, sometimes we’re so different that we feel that we can’t relate to each other at all, but we also both value authenticity so much, and lots of times were just happy to explore each other’s personality/types. But honestly we’re so similar at time’s too but we always tend to overlook it

[@antondeannova7016]

if only two choices are left worrying in trade ... which trade is most suitable for istp personality, choose one of them and give the logical reason based on istp's personality itself ... a mechanic or an electrician ... thank you, God bless you

[@Mrmuffinlol]

@@juliazhou692 how do you get an istp interested in you as an infp female?

[@danab172]

this is better than going out to the movies or something. infp

[@cierahayes]

Something that has been helpful for me to remember: Just because the fourth function is at the bottom of the function stack does not necessarily mean that it's "weak" or that you are not skilled at using it... Your fourth function is simply a "mode of operation" that you don't prefer. ✌😊

[@INFPHD]

Yeah I agree that everyone can apply energy towards developing their lower functions on a higher level. However, in Jason’s case he admits to being super weak in his 4th slot (Fe), but he also displays a strong desire to understand it better which is what you want to hear out of someone... 👍🏻👍🏻 Sean

[@Icantfeeeeeelit]

@@INFPHD Even thought the 4th slot is the inferior function, the more you mature within yourself the more desire there is to develop the inferior function. I think that is a big reason why the inferior function is also ones aspirational function.

[@cierahayes]

That "phone time"/ "comfortable silence" story is beautiful! ❤ I think that is one of the truest signs of a healthy, loving relationship/ friendship-- to be comfortable in each other's presence & confident in the love, care, and respect that you have for each other without needing to say a word.

[@chrissavage8969]

I am an INFP married to an ISTP We've been together for over ten years now. I get a little worried sometimes about what we will argue over when raising kids- but what couples don't have to compromise on the big stuff? Interesting to watch other couples in a similar boat with how they react to each other

[@antoinettenovella1630]

I adore ISTPs. My father who has passed on with cancer was one. He was such a present and loving father to both my sister and I. Phenomenal parent. He marched to a drum of his own beat. He loved and adored my mother for over forty eight years. I was lucky to have him as my dad. Consider myself fortunate.

[@tasha1955]

I'm an INFP, my best friends are ISTP, compatibility charts aren't really correct haha

[@CognitivePersonality]

Cool chat! Was very interesting to hear CPT being discussed too - definitely need to make some more accessible videos!

[@INFPHD]

Keep doing your thing over there Harry! Don’t try and turn into a garbled mess like myself for example 🤪 - we need that deep informative stuff to chew on!

[@BasedMando]

ISTP is the INFPs superego and vice versa. Very interesting pairing.

[@sientwa6102]

Where can I read that? Is there any online site you could recommend? I am new to this MBTI stuff😅

[@Tambisme]

They seem like a great couple.

[@Burtifly]

Good chat guys. I don't even know where to begin my questions and comments. Jason, you really have it all sorted. Really good to hear an ISTP articulate. I joke with my ISTP friend at work about having no feelings. 😂 I could see the gap between you and Nicole over the assassin part. I'm thinking, "yeah that's what Sean is saying but just intuitively guess how it may play out for you without knowing the situation. " So same for me, when you see that moment, or you are just holding that gem, sweating on the opportune moment. Love the end, 😂🤣 with barely any Fe in sight. Just the after thought Fe to help take away the awkwardness. Nice. Thanks guys. 👍✌️

[@alexiastraduzioni537]

I'm an intp girl and i always get attracted to istps and infps..ahh y'all the stare it's what it is 🤣

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

Jason way to sympathize with other people feelings is so healthy Fe , I believe Because Fi users know that what they do or say impacts other people but they don't have it that present and consciously all the time in their minds

[@coralinejones994]

It was so interesting to learn about And they are so beautiful couple😍💓 Thank you very much 💖

[@nnn9122]

So yes, now that I've had time to process, I'd like to thank you for pushing me out of the nest, okay? 🐣🙃 Let's be real though. What ended up coming out of my mouth was a train wreck. 😂 The reason I brought up the fact that I'm "directionally challenged" was to serve as an example of how Jason has been helpful as far as me being able to handle my anxiety in certain areas. His whole "it's not a problem until it's a problem" mentality has helped keep me calm in situations that would have completely flustered me before. And I really messed up explaining the dropping gems thing. What happens is I'll bring up that insight I've been thinking over for a very long time (which is why I feel comfortable enough to share it in the first place), but it will be very concise and I won't elaborate unless asked. So it will be immediately dismissed and the conversation will be forgotten (at least by him, lol). I won't remember we talked about it until he regurgitates the very same thing back to me in his own words and then I'll be sure to let him know "I" was the one to tell "him" that months ago, lol.

[@INFPHD]

Oh Nichole it was fine!! However, yes, I go plot repair after the fact all the time after I had processing time. For you that was a new experience and even though you came in all stoic you still were expected to think/ talk on the fly which is not always easy for us. For me I have come to be comfortable with the camera etc when I have a knowing that I can edit and add stuff (graphics etc) in after the fact. That’s why the livestream I did was soooo overwhelming for me where my heart was pumping extremely hard and I was sweating through my shirt the entire couple hours. I (we) prefer that out of the spotlight time to process our thoughts or yes - they have a high probability we will not be clear or miss many points. I have a “I should have said this!” moment like once a week or more lol. I’m not going to try hard to minimize your thoughts and say “don’t stress about it” because “I TOTALLY get it”! For me though it had nothing to do with the stuff that came out of your mouth or any other nuance you may have scrutinized about yourself....it was the fact that you took a brave courageous risk for allowing yourself to be in that situation - it may seem small to you, but a lot won’t attempt that so please try and balance your negative thoughts with the positive ones!! I cringe at my early videos and know my comfort level today wouldn’t be possible without those early train wreck experiences, and for that I am grateful... Sean

[@cierahayes]

Hi Nichole! 👋😄 You did a great job! 🌟 It was lovely to "meet" you and Jason! 💕

[@nnn9122]

@@cierahayes Hi! 👋 Aww, thank you. 😊💜

[@cierahayes]

@@nnn9122 🤗💖

[@Softening.into.His.Glory.]

Hi, Nichole, I thought you did well. As someone who was best friends with an ISTP for about 20 years, I could definitely relate to a lot of the things you mentioned.

[@donates88]

Some friendly advice: You should write down your interview questions before doing these interviews to help you stay on track. -INFP

[@NauseatedKitty]

I'm ISTP and I've been married to an INFP for 20 years.

[@tanisham6263]

Nice would you recommend the mbti pairing? -infp

[@didididi0]

NO REPLY, OH NOOOO

[@firewing1319]

I have a different quirk with infp. I can detach from my feeling side. It is very situational though. Like for example criticism, normally it feels like a personal attack like you just shoved a dagger into me. But with people I know I can sit back and listen to what they say and be more objective with what they say.

[@EmmaAppleBerry]

Yeah i do that to occasionally i realise its more a professional sort of mask like a coping survival mechanism in society. I call it my scientist mode im very like removed i dive into problem solve deep focus mode i become pretty 'cold' like a scientist i almost treat it like im the outside looking in. Sometimes its an unconscious thing like how you automatically talk in a softer higher voice to babies etc but sometimes its a concious decision almost like ive gone into a numb shock and have cotton wrapped around me and switch off and get through it a bit dissociative. It doesnt feel stereotypically infp but then i remember that we are really good at relating to everyone or understanding everyone sort of mirroring adapting whereas its seems noone can understand us so its just an extension of being what is needed in the situation to make others feel safer or happier like im a cry baby haha and prefer to be quiet but if i can see someone struggling with the attention on them or sad i immedoately will happily remove the attention off them and be loud and goofy and look like an extrovert because being outside of my comfort zone is WAAAAAY easier than having someone with me or someone i like being outside of theirs 😂😂😂

[@INFPHD]

Yeah Firewing I’m in the same boat. I would “LOVE” if my feelings wouldn’t hold onto little things / situations throughout each day - criticism etc, but it likes to dwell over things especially if I’m on the more stressed side. Some things I can process through super quick where it doesn’t affect me like you said which is going to be that random situational thing. There is times for defending our precious value system, but also important for us to provide it with a little room to “breath” for that incoming outsider perspective which can actually benefit our growth. It’s hard cause I myself will ramp up the defense mechanism super quick when I feel someone is headed towards my values, but try and focus on calming it all down so there is that better chance of acceptance for another’s viewpoints... Again, if I’m stressed - then there most likely will not be a balance. Sean

[@INFPHD]

Yeah Emma the part where you essentially take a grenade for someone else at the end is something I do all the time. That act and how you initially describe it speaks more towards Fe - not Fi. However, that is all blanketed by the groups happiness to where “your” happiness is going to ultimately be better. It’s not entirely some selfish act as we do genuinely care about the other persons discomfort, but it does (in my case) also circle back to us. It also plays on the “underdog” situation to where that is something I am also very partial too and love a good comeback happy ending story...! Sean

[@kiainfpe9]

That was a really interesting conversation. I like how you brought up the way we can tap into and develop the 'T'. Especially in the workplace. I work in a job where a big part of it is processes and procedures and being really strict about doing things correctly and within the rules. But it's also customer facing. So I interact with a wide range of people and help them sort issues and do a lot of problem solving. I've learned to discipline myself to pick priorities and methodically work through tasks to meet deadlines under pressure. This is something I've had to learn yet I see others just do it naturally. My strengths come out in my interacting with customers and staff. I'm known in my workplace as someone who is an empathetic listener and a calm person. And they will refer specific customers to me because of those strengths. I can also relate to the challenge of expressing thoughts and ideas. It's almost like the thoughts or ideas are the size of the universe in my head but I know this person wants it all in a concise format....where do I even begin? And so I get a bit stumped.

[@INFPHD]

Sounds exactly like my work life too Kia! Yeah I focus heavily on supporting customers (at their sites) and I am essentially "the face of my company" so I have to pullout a lot of skill sets to achieve successful interactions. I do get to use a lot of my enjoyable psychology stuff to better connect with the customers and satisfy their goals, but I do also have to be very efficient etc where "time is money" for them. I know my biggest thing is the paperwork / reports I have to complete after the fact....BLAH!! Sean

[@insideanorca]

Hello, I'm an extroverted INFP too! We are a rare plant but we do exist

[@INFPHD]

Yeah I’ve actually seen it said that INFPs are towards the top of being the most extroverted of the introvert types... Nice to meet you Kit 🤙🏻 Sean

[@Wavecattt]

@@INFPHD people sometimes think im an extrovert cause i can me hyper, but i know i am a big introvert

[@INFPHD]

@@Wavecattt yeah I can never win that conversation when I tell them I’m heavily introverted, but just as long as we know ourselves that’s the only thing that matters. *just never be extra quiet to try and prove to them you are introverted or something...that’s when you lose (sure you know this just a reminder). Sean

[@EarthenCavy]

Same, girl! If I get into a subject I love, I turn into a border collie. Yap yap yap, lol! 😂

[@TreasureSeasons]

Chaos provoked by sensors...my isfj boyfriend says the same about himself, infj. Very cool insight.. thanks for showing up about it 💜 I love his Yoda t-shirt.

[@INFPHD]

Hey Liza I can provoke chaos with my mysterious silentness!! 🙌🏻🥳

[@TreasureSeasons]

@@INFPHD alright. Lol 😂

[@harmantumber]

Am I tripping or each of your backgrounds are synced up? Looks like you’re in the same room 😂

[@INFPHD]

Lol yeah I just edited the video after and blurred the seam together basically just because I could 🤷‍♂️ Hope all is good Harman 🤙 Sean

[@meredith18352]

Do you think Fi/Ti is better than Fi/Te? My mum's partner is an ISTP and he is really sensitive and hates 'being picked on' so I wouldn't say ISTP don't have feelings. In fact, he really likes animals because they are so non-judgemental. He is an electrical engineer (how true to type is that), is very lazy (I'm still waiting for him to make me just one cup of tea or help with the dishes) but can be insanely generous. He is awesome with my nephew and basically gave my sister and I his old car to drive when we needed one. I'm enjoying the conversations with different types Sean. I think most INFPs have a special bond with animals, I would always be happy to go to a party if there was a dog for me to talk to. ps I think Zeke might be afraid of heights, is that possible for a dog - sorry random thought.

[@INFPHD]

I don't know...I like the Fi/ Te combo you just have to find that complimenting balance between the two which can make for some cool stuff... Yeah Jason has feelings obviously lol but as he even mentioned..they are pretty foreign to him. However, he tries hard to understand them for the sake of his relationships with others which is the key thing for all of us - gotta work on those weaknesses! Yeah the animal thing has always been weird to me and I may toss a video out one day digging into the relationship with animals to see if it's a common thing for INFPs. Like I know animals can sense things of humans and perhaps it's just the vibe we give off - I don't know... Yeah I had a Boxer who was deathly afraid of helium balloons (like the birthday kind). I got him when he was 8 weeks old so perhaps he was tormented by the kids he was raised with in that time with balloons, but the first time (and every time) we brought in helium balloons he would bark uncontrollably at them and a couple times ran along the backrest cushions on our couch peeing the whole stretch! Like he was terrified and I honestly had no idea why?!

[@meredith18352]

@@INFPHD Poor boxer. My sister had a border collie that loved all balloons, especially popping them with her mouth. I have a boxer in my current dog training group, he is dumb, ugly and mean. It is forever fascinating what draws people to different breeds of dog. I love my border collies but I can be seduced by any friendly dog. My favourite (other) dog in the group is Axel, a wire-haired jack russell terrier, he is having a bromance with Zeke and goes nuts whenever he sees us, he is adorable.

[@reload6887]

I have a question to anyone who have an opinion on it : do you think a romantic relationship can work on the long term between INFP-ISTP? The couple in the video could be an exception or a mistype.

[@heatherhafer3333]

I think Tom Cruise is an ESTP. His Se seems dominant. His Fe feels higher.

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

1:05:35 literally biggest mood ever

[@HexagonSun990]

This is so awesome 🥺

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

Yea INFPs are kind of obligated to level up

[@heatherhafer3333]

Such a great comment!!

[@RetconAir]

Nice!

[@INFPHD]

What up Devon!?....we had fun 🙌🏻

[@aWERFRGT6545BGFG]

imo I feel like people just find sections of someones personality and label it a function. But like lets say if an Infp enjoys parkour and seems to be in the moment, no one is going to notice the se. They will only find a way to say its ne

[@INFPHD]

I personally know I use “all” the functions everyday depending on what task is in front of me. The ones who use MBTI as “well I can’t use Se or I’ll be inauthentic to my INFP self” miss out on many things / experiences in life. Sure we may not naturally be good at the lower shadow ones, but one should still embrace/ develop them.... Sean

[@aWERFRGT6545BGFG]

@@INFPHD Thats very true. I am INFP as well but I can use SE very well. Sometimes I can do really impulsive things though ...not sure if thats my adhd or if its my mbti type, but I have this mix of having anxiety about past and for the the future, so not being in the moment. But I also am quite laidback and chill and like savour the positivity in a moment. Its super weird?...I even notice details straight away. But I do lack se when it comes to knowing what is going on like I forget the days, months, forget to eat, sleep often. and I forget things a lot of the time but maybe thats lack of si? idk..

[@INFPHD]

Yeah I’m very impulsive as well which I’m sure Ne has a lot to do with that. In my opinion it’s good to know where your home base is regarding what type you are, but the more you can blur things all together and see yourself doing the other functions really good also should be the goal in life. The past 20 years of my work life I have had to play heavily in non-preferred functions to be successful. Doesn’t mean I don’t get to inject INFP stuff in here and there, but the jobs I have had are not preferred INFP jobs - very social customer service related, not a ton of creativity options, very fast paced / stressful. I have had to act more ESTJ just to essentially hold my job kinda thing. Playing for that long in non preferred functions does bring on large amounts of stress / poor health etc but I also know that many of my shadow functions are very well developed because of it all. At this point in my life I’m scaling things back down working more towards INFP balance for myself than it ever has been, but my confidence level coming into slowing everything down is very strong. The more uncomfortable situations you put yourself into the stronger your self confidence has the ability to grow for you to then enjoy down the road. Don’t stress too much on things you are doing outside of a typing description - that’s what you want!

[@muffnman980]

@@INFPHD I think in that case you failed as an INFP, a true INFP hates labeling and being pigeonholed and has a taste for adventure. But I digress

[@INFPHD]

As well from a single comment you don’t know me. I can’t STAND being controlled and my life has played out extremely adventurous. People fail when their goal is to stay as close to a stereotypical type as they can shooting for that “true type”. If you are comfortable and do only the INFP preferences you will not experience life to the fullest. Developing your weaknesses is how we as humans grow...not when we stay in our “true comfort”. Sean

[@renstarburst4472]

Entj-a is my bf, me infp-t (its difficult sometimes( he just judge,criticus,always with logica argumenten,say what to do, give a lecture) but i love him and i belive that we can go trough this problems together)

[@antondeannova7016]

if only two choices are left worrying in trade ... which trade is most suitable for istp personality, choose one of them and give the logical reason based on istp's personality itself ... a mechanic or an electrician ... thank you, God bless you

[@turquoisepaws]

6w7 infp and 9w8 istp the combinations...

[@antondeannova7016]

Really like this is chanel... Amzng ..

[@INFPHD]

Thanks Anton - nice to meet you 🤙 Sean

[@catgirllove8066]

You're attractive

[@sientwa6102]

How long are they married again?

[@INFPHD]

9 years

[@sientwa6102]

@@INFPHD that's wonderful😊, thanks for your reply