Inner Child Second Chance: Using Psychosis to Heal NPD, BPD (Annual Congress on Applied Psychology)

[@sofiazouridaki3383]

Professor I can not imagine somebody in this world helping humanity as you do! Thank you so much!

[@milicasekulovic5213]

@@angeleye4253 sorry, this is so wrong. If he finds a way to protect others and to shed lights on this problems, then his actions are good. I am sick and tired of "good motives" behind disgusting practices.

[@foxrichard]

You will know them by their fruit.

[@gaijinyade]

Of course you can't, Sofia.

[@franlewis1607]

Dr. Vaknin, this lecture is the most caring of all lectures that I have heard ever, anywhere, and from anyone. For you to secure the trust of one so empty is a wonder to behold. I cannot begin to put a value on all that I have learned from you. Thank you.

[@43CYN]

I had a psychotic breakdown, Took me a few years to get out but I'm finally healing.

[@lolohilwa22]

Good to hear that you’re healing ❤️‍🩹 Did you by any chance get to found out what caused it? How often were you in psychosis?

[@43CYN]

@@lolohilwa22 I have BPD, it`s part of it. I pretty much live my daily life in psychosis, but not so much anymore as I have progressed

[@austinannie6526]

This is a brilliant and lucid explanation, thank you

[@TheBumpdjs]

No one can explain this like you can professor. Thankyou, Thankyou Thankyou 🤘

[@kyliesmith9782]

Utterly mind blowing and yet, so completely understandable.

[@runwiththewind3281]

Professor Vaknin, thank you.

[@lindaameen]

I am so grateful for this deep knowledge it helps us to heal and grow

[@J_wllyp]

My smile at the end was my confirmation of truth, thank you so much! been learning and made aware of so many things I was completely blind to thanks to you

[@Margaret__B]

I saw the article brilliant Prof. Sam inspiring me to study psychology. Thank you for your wonderful work

[@sicobain]

How I wish I had a chance to have a doctor as you to analyse me, but you help me a lot with your knowledge and even in English language I am little better . I really appreciate for all! Take care Sam!

[@celene-qz2jg]

Thank you professor for your compassion. We need more men like you in the world

[@MrFredsAdventures]

29:30 "Artificial intelligence will prove to be psychopathic." Very interesting

[@matej1987]

And scary..

[@kyliesmith9782]

@@matej1987 came here to write the exact same thing...

[@karlaabarca1735]

Eres lo máximo! Te amo! Me has explicado todo! Mil gracias ❤❤❤

[@Sana-jc3nn]

Thank You so much. Greetings from Sarajevo 💖🇧🇦

[@NS-no5yw]

Another excellent video!!

[@AssumptionEmpty]

I am crying. This is me.

[@CakeItBy]

I have bpd and am in emdr, listening to this really got me processing stuff. Your videos are on point! I used to have a voice in my head with an image that I called God as a child and I did not feel as though he was a part of me but I didn't really perceive the world as separate and just saw the outside world as all of my anxieties. Very insightful information

[@CakeItBy]

I'd recommend talking about or researching the use of emdr in personality disorders because I got to the part where you reference the false self in bpd becoming integrated over time. With the use of emdr my experience has been very fast and I feel as though the false self is almost fully integrated with me

[@CakeItBy]

@@djmandyland so my therapist is in California. If you are in the state let me know and I can give you her information. She's been doing it for a few years I think but she is very knowledgeable and it has been helpful for me

[@annemarie9980]

Thanks Sam very helpful clear information 💖

[@LegendaryMel]

Wow blown away by this lecture. Thank you so much Sam Vaknin!

[@leticiaperaza524]

Excellent article in the Daily mail!! very complete in the description of NPD... congratulations!

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

This is a great video personally! Both very interesting and probably helpful to myself I look forward to the next video

[@robinbyrd4430]

Awesome talk. Thank you for uncovering and sharing truth to help heal others. ☺️🌺

[@cassylane120]

Wonderful lecture!

[@tuliomop]

Awsome ! thank you profesor

[@poupou5833]

Great vidéo you explain this topic so well , accurate info like yours is really scarce ! Thank you so much

[@luckymaiskey2562]

Thank you sir for being there...

[@dropdead_red]

Sam, have you heard of, or better yet, watched the movie Drop Dead Fred? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, then much later that diagnosis was dropped and replaced with BPD. This film in particular really seems to align with so many symptoms/factors involved with Borderline Personality Disorder; many manifestations of unhealthy maternal influence starting in early childhood and continuing into adult years. An unhealthy attachment to this maternal figure, a deep desire to fulfill the role imposed by the mother, an inability to individuate. Early in childhood the main character creates an imaginary friend who influences the child to do all the things the mother would not approve of, using this imaginary “friend” as a means of attempted individuation in the form of this rebellion. The mother refuses this attempt and pretends to trap Drop Dead Fred and lock him away in a jack in the box toy. Much later, now in adulthood the daughter finds this box and releases her old imaginary friend. The time of this reunion was at a critical moment of stress for the daughter, as she was to be married to a man chosen for her by her overbearing mother. I believe this sent her over the edge, so to speak, reactivating her psychosis and thus bringing her “friend” back from childhood. The friend that would be on her side, against the bad mother, and the protector of the child was once again desperately needed. I would love to hear an analysis of this film by you, Mr Vaknin. It would mean so much to me. Thank you for your selfless, tireless contributions to the mental health community. -Brittani

[@kyliesmith9782]

Love that movie. And I love your analysis. Very interesting thought

[@persephoneastrology7115]

Yes such a good movie

[@anjeuli]

Prof my psychotherapist and I get on so well, I thought that her fondness of me blinded her to quite a lot of things. Turns out I was also missing many memories. As things in my life have started to calm down in some areas, the memories have come back. Now I am sad about how many years I have lost as a corpse, thinking this and that about myself, but it was not the whole truth. It must be that those constructs are resurfacing in those areas - thanks to your recent videos I can actually put a finger on it. Now I'm so aware of my automatic thoughts, and anything that creates stress/tension - what is it teaching me? A lot of it is hard to stop, but I can understand why cold therapy would work. Everything has gotten too comfortable it seems.

[@jodie4001]

The narcissist I was with always wanted space. He always kept on repeating this one phrase to me: "It's not you, it's me." He was quite weird, quite awkward. Always wanted space. Always felt to seperate from me. Always wanted to be alone basically ignoring me for hours, working on his computer. Always feeling clausterphobic. I could never understand why he kept on pulling away. Why he kept me at a distance. He is very much an online ñarcissist with the reality and the people around him becoming completely obsolete. It is very very sad to see. I fell in love with his false self which he finds really hard to uphold at the age of 67. He lives in another dimension. Unreachable, unlovable, untouchable. I was everything yet nothing to him. Their Psychosis keep them stuck in their own small little universe where they are the emporer wearing no clothes. So shameful. So hurtful. So broken 😭

[@ivana5240]

It's bonechilling.. I heard the same - it's not you, it's me. Scary, how these people are a carbon copy of each other. Partly scary and partly amazing, how they are the same, so similar and yet so different to other people with a healthy self.

[@dominusbalial835]

thank you for sharing your experience, it was interesting in a detached way from the, terribleness of the experience you suffered which is quite unfortunate. He sounds very "Schizoid-ish" oriented as a narcissist, I hope you're doing better today.

[@NewBird5]

i m diagnosed bpd and i dont like being anywhere or with anyone , i m workaholic and only like my computer. after 5years in therapy , now i recently got told that i m schizoid also

[@julieprice488]

Wow, just wow. Thank you Prof Vaknin. The awareness and tools you give me are priceless.

[@mscharleeann]

this has me so EMO. thank you so much for this!

[@hawkeyenextgen7117]

I myself suffer PTSD from being mentally abused by my peers in high school and neglected by my teachers. Sometimes I feel like a child trapped in a small body.

[@marianneolivierhagg5053]

Brilliant!!

[@kaybee8650]

Absolutely fascinating! Thank you.

[@treesarose97]

Brilliant

[@emilias4008]

Thank you, however, what about schizoid? I would suppose failed narcissistic defense leads to developing schizoid, total disinterest in interacting with any objects. Is schizoid a failed psychopath? Thank you!

[@nathansmith-nd9nq]

Looking forward to the next part prof Sam . Thanks very much .

[@chiliart8056]

Im struggling all my life I had two narcissist parent's one agresiv other covert ..and all family around had same problem.I think from that situation is hard to get out normal.

[@The-Finisher]

Sixteen years after one of my parents deaths, I can view the situation through more adult lenses. The living parent is the overt one. We are on no contact. There is so much to learn and unlearn when your childhood environment was with disordered parents. Yeah you are not alone.

[@laismoretti8141]

Thank you! What about the covert states in NPD and BPD? Do they appear just later in life? It makes perfect sense NPD solution failure goes back to BPD, but at first it came to my mind the solution would be covert/inverted NPD

[@leticiaperaza524]

Thank you very much for your teachings Dr. Vaknin they are wonderful, full of wisdom and experience....awesome!

[@lurker1973]

Excellent explanations.

[@trippy6183]

Yes yes yes!

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

6:42 i think neurotypical (defined here as non-autistic) people also have a form of this psychotic state you describe, mainly as working on assumptions and living so strongly in social reality rather than just material or logical as much The one thing neurotypicals seem to have any immersive power in is in social reality, while everything else is very unimersive

[@anniep4553]

Remarkable insight. So, is falling "in love" a personality disorder sufferer's way of going through this therapeutic process (attachment/separation [that triggers disintegration]/individuation) absent a therapist who can facilitate decompensation?

[@user-tg7km5fg4f]

I'm 46 separating trying to oh my god help me

[@AmosMantyla]

Since a borderline's identity is furnished by a friend or partner, is the abandonment anxiety actually an anxiety about losing their identity? The narcissist's false self is their contrived identity, and their greatest fear is having that identity (thus their reality) is threatened. The borderline feels the same way about losing their enmeshed object.

[@samvaknin]

Search the BPD playlist.

[@bonniesammons2348]

Thank you Dr Vaknin. My son in law was abandoned by his mother at age 4. I don’t know details of her except that she obviously is mentally I’ll herself; she would fail to show to visit him over the years and even tried to get money from him once he was an adult. He is a good man I know but he is a very distant husband and father. He seems very depressed and retreats when we visit or they visit with their small children. He barely speaks to us and is always working or playing video games. It is so sad. I know he is damaged from childhood. Does the behavior I’m describing sound like borderline personality? He is 28. My daughter is expecting their 3rd child. I really worry for her and my grandchildren. Thank you for anyone’s help.

[@bonniesammons2348]

@@stst77 thank you, I’ll look it up!

[@Sara-x6t3s]

You are correct to worry about your daughter. What occurred in her life that has resulted her devaluing herself, in choosing a partner who offers so little? Idk the only way to succeed in that scenario is if she separates from him and creates her own life separate from him.

[@riinagadjak8311]

WOW! ❤️

[@glossylove21]

Hey! Today i am a survivor! I escaped!

What exactly is it about abuse that confuses the child’s developing sense of self vs. other? WHY does abuse cause that to happen? What specific forms of abuse can cause this type of stunting or mis-development to happen, and why? Is a single instance of abuse or neglect (during a crucial phase of development) enough to affect the child’s development, or does abuse need to recur repeatedly in order for the confusion to become permanently embedded? I really want to know what exactly to watch out for as a new father with my own mental health struggles, with a partner (the mother) who likely has BPD. I am worried that we could somehow accidentally abuse or neglect our child in a way that we don’t even know to be abuse, not always knowing ourselves what exactly is “normal” or healthy. When do we let the baby cry, or should we cater to her every need? Does it harm the baby to see my partner and I having an angry fight? Does it still harm the baby even if she sees us make peace afterwards? Does it hurt the baby to see her mother (who has a lot of chronic physical pain) having seemingly un-prompted spontaneous and very noisy sobbing sessions? Do the daily extreme emotional ups and downs of the mother harm the baby, even if they are not directed at nor caused by the baby?

[@samvaknin]

Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.

[@theageofgoddess]

All makes a lot of sense. I'm guessing most people fall on a sort of spectrum between these. Interesting view on childhood being a psychosis, it's a healthy psychosis.

[@declagreen7884]

This is very true.

[@2140pallavi]

I can't thank you enough Prof. Vaknin for your insightful, videos. 🙏 Does these defence of BPD and NPD have anything to do with inherit quality of child eg: being more sensitive/empathetic or do all children subject to such abuse turn to these defence?

[@CT--jv2ur]

Is there a reason you are mentioning this after these years? Have there been any new developments in "cold therapy?"

[@courtneys4568]

Bro I need help. 😭

[@matej1987]

Borderline < Narcissism < Antisocial. Where is histrionic in this order? Before, beside or after NPD? Or is that the wrong question?

[@mino7166]

Which one is the „next video“ that you mention in the last sentence?

[@eligiuly]

Dear Professor, i have been diagnosed with BPD. Since then i had a disappointing experience with a psychotherapist who used to breach our confidentiality with my family, among other unprofessional features, and I experienced more traumatizing input from my punitive parents as i opened to them instinctually seeking resolution...your video is illuminating and daunting at the once as i feel the process of desmantling my inner child from the Borderlline solution may have begun. I wonder about your suggestion for decompensation and regression through therapy, if you have any recommendation or referral to find the right help. Your reasoning sounds illuminating and at last , what you suggest, now my last hope. Thank you very much

[@nadermohareb]

So would I be correct to say that regression to the psychotic state is equivalent to what some refer to as being born again or born again Christians?

[@shaypierre4132]

Wow!

[@Woahlookitthemoon]

I love having an imaginary friend though 😟

[@Fatima_7980]

Could anybody help me find the article? Thanks 🙏

[@cocoo1078]

Where and how the codependent is created in this sequence?

[@Elzinha88]

Good question!

[@James-fz7gp]

Between BPD and NPD. Codependents don't devalue and they sustain through abuse as compared to pwBPD.

[@sgspecialfaded]

Professor Vaknin, you speak of a "true self" disappearing in narcissists, but elsewhere I have heard you deny the existence of a single persistent self in any individual, healthy or unhealthy. I was wondering if you have addressed that tension somewhere, because both ideas are interesting and seem to me to be true, yet seem to be somewhat in contradiction with one another. Thanks!

[@samvaknin]

The true self is self-state, albeit the earliest one.

[@sgspecialfaded]

@@samvaknin Very interesting, definitely something I'll have to meditate on. Thanks for the reply and for all the videos!

[@comuna2]

Which next video is this? Could you give a bibliography for this regression treatment?

[@אשחראלקיים]

Thx yo so much

[@beavertonneurofeedback2363]

Is there a video that goes into more detail that helps understand what is this "false self" BPD individuals have instead of the real self?

[@samvaknin]

Yes. Several, in fact.

[@seanmurphy9799]

Hi Professor- Where can I read more material along these lines? Thank you.

[@aleksspasi325]

Ist there a possibility or a test in order to find out if my child has finished the process of separation?

[@olgaromanenko8485]

Is it safe to put people in psychosis? You told us that you are a narcissist yourself. Have you underwent your therapy? Results? My main concern is safety. Under the guise of treatment some scientists with NPD or psychopathy may ruin people. I worry because this method may represent sadistic trait of NPD disorder, a desire to dismantle the victim and avoid responsibility.

[@anniep4553]

👀Having experienced something very much like what you describe, I am commenting to bring others to your comment

[@James-fz7gp]

Decompensation happens naturally after defense mechanisms fail. The psychosis that follows can be used to heal the self. Jung used psychosis to explore his unconscious and wrote about it and he is said to have induced it deliberately.

[@olgaromanenko8485]

@@James-fz7gp It's not about Jung.

[@nabintimalsina9156]

I was also thinking the same . I am raised by a narcissistic mother with extreme emotional abuse . Now according to him , I have NPD . I was frozen by my mother at age of 15 but I have capacity to love . I am overly empathetic ,helpful and selfless and frequently used by people for this . Does it mean I would have no empathy if I wss frozen at age of 5-6 ??

[@sashatietge1768]

Your hair is looking really good like that. Love the cut and color. You look 40ish, tops. 😉

[@nobilitytattoo4043]

Sam, I recently saw an example of what appears to be early cold therapy used on pedophiles and sec offenders. The documentary is titled “Monsters Among Us” (rare old documentary 1992) 43: 00 mins in Is this too off track from cold therapy with NPD?

[@nin3755]

Wow so this would explain early individual sexual experiences, when as a child your body goes into the next stage of psychosis you would start to experience the oceanic sexual experiences in isolation, unprompted ? Also enjoying lord of the rings repeatedly as a child to create the other world

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

17:27 i know this channel is focussed on humans but the stuff leading up to the timestamp made me think about alternate ways this could be in another species when you said "why isn't NPD just borderline 2.0?" I wonder if the reason humans start in that psychotic mode is because we are so altricial, we depend on our parent(s)/family/tribe for all of our needs and don't have very developed brain at birth, but other animals like horses, giraffes, most reptiles that aren't birds etc are born very self-capable and very able to act, some even instinctively know what to do and process the world a little. I wonder if for them they start at the borderline or proto-narcissistic stages/methods/attempts, instead of psychotic, maybe borderline is the furthest back they go, maybe NPD or proto-NPD is.

Is it accurate to say that the mental health issues you discussed in the video are all just the tragic result of attempts at anxiety-management by the undeveloped baby? Are these mis-developments (BPD, NPD, etc.) simply attempts by the baby to frame self/other in whatever way sufficiently reduces anxiety (while preserving as much of a sense of reality as possible within that constraint)? In other words, if properly framing self/other is too frightening and emotionally overwhelming for the baby due to an ongoing issue in the home, the baby will discover that a borderline mental model reduces their own anxiety somewhat, and if that moderately adulterated perception of reality is still too painful, a narcissistic model may bring them sufficient anxiety-reduction. To summarize: the child’s need to reduce anxiety is (at least slightly) more important to their survival than their need to understand reality accurately (at least in the sense of self vs. other). So the child will stunt their own reality-testing abilities in that particular way because doing so somehow increases their chances of survival in a highly anxiety-provoking environment. Is that correct? If so, why? Why is it so critically important to reduce anxiety, to the point of sacrificing such a critical developmental accomplishment? OR, is it not about anxiety, but is it specifically about demoralization and depression caused by the baby repeatedly failing to achieve a positive outcomes (because of lack of cooperation by the parents)? Or is it a result of the subsequent anxiety that this causes? Or, does it have nothing to do with anxiety, or demoralization, and more to do with the NATURE of the abuse being such that the parent is actively confusing the child and preventing the child from building a clear awareness of self vs. other? As in, the learning process is simply inhibited by misdirection from the parent, and the baby doesn’t necessarily need to be in a state of anxiety or depression for this to occur? Could the damage be a result of multiple of these factors?

[@samvaknin]

Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.

[@sandramaria911]

Is Cold therapy in presence of the mother possible?

[@samvaknin]

No.

[@annaguthrie6164]

What about if a child was groomed by another narcissist,say an aunt, to become a narcissist?

[@mfalcon6297]

wow

[@user-tg7km5fg4f]

Oh man

[@Aditi_kapur]

By that, the feminist movement is all about the right to narcissism same as the boys .

[@Lovelyinternetperson]

18:00 Literature Little Prince

there is always a chance 🤍