innocent boat captain harassed by road pirates

Arghhh!
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[@DonutOperator]

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[@qwmf05gcpt42]

donut is there any hope?

[@iamcrimsonspecter2]

Ellen! Give DONUT BACK HIS CHANNEL!!

[@federicovelutini6115]

why dont you post this in the description?

[@cgmislive]

Donut Operator why are the police dragging this out

[@Ryan-wz4un]

Donut Operator Whats more fun then a sovreing citizen a drunk sov

[@_scions]

Sir you can't drop anchor in the middle of an intersection

[@memorialled_zeppelin-warew1346]

Yeah it damages the heck out of the pavement .

[@philyamascunt7518]

The blacktop will foul an anchor 99.9%of the time

[@coureurdesbois8316]

A shark of all things should know

[@lowpinglag]

Hahaha, perfect comment!

[@briannotafan3368]

i did what yesterday???

[@jweezy5490]

This is rediculous, the captain was just waiting for the eastern winds to pick up so he could resume his voyage

[@earlobe8673]

This deserves more likes

[@johnmalcum2504]

Had us in the first half not going to lie

[@Distant_INC]

"Sir, your vessel is sinking. You must abandon ship immediately."

[@srvfan454]

"A liquor captain never abandons a sinking shit-ship." - Jim Lahey

[@Xtoff]

What is the ocean's probable cause to invade my vessel?

[@SirFapsAlot]

That probably would've worked . Seriously

[@dalezapple2493]

LMAO

[@TheFiReLoRd777]

Black captain jack sparo

[@kylek6922]

Cops should've been like "bro your ship is going down fast, we're the coast guard and we're here to rescue you, now quickly slip on these wrist-water-wings and step into our lifeboat so we can save you from the loch-government-lizard-monster".

[@justforever96]

He is talking (trying to talk) in a legal sense. Sov cit, so if he declares its a vessel then it's under maritime law

[@dylanpurandare6245]

“Is he getting drunker” This man is such a sailor he gets drunk just sitting in his vessel

[@Undefinablebeast]

Steeler Nation03-6 quality stuff

[@gorillaau]

15 men on a dead's man chest... yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum.

[@morrighanwermarn-arnburg7333]

He probably isn't drunk, he's probably just exhausted from listening to his own bullshit. I'm halfway through the video and my brain is exhausted. I'm going to have to sleep off this video when I'm done.

[@ligmabean3023]

Drives a vessel to a mom's houseimeanpickupkids

[@2ndsunn324]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@jimsawtelle3133]

where is SLEDGE when you need him

[@ReformedSooner24]

Jim Sawtelle At first I was thinking the Operator Sledge lol.

[@michaelbrainard9912]

And Irish

[@TheMediumDaddy]

SLEDGE for president.

[@ryankirkpatrick49]

@Squirrelcake From a previous video. Absolute badass

[@pizazz57]

In a previous video, an Officer had a call sign of "Sledge" on his vest. He was the second officer on the scene to help a driver exit the vehicle.

[@georgewashington4007]

U know for being that drunk, he did a pretty good job at confusing everybody including himself lol

[@kcrtxbw.4349]

Makes you wonder how he got all that BS ingrained so deeply, that he can still pull it up while being so drunk off his a** that he can barely speak..

[@paulriversred738]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣right

[@jacknedry3925]

Hello Mr. Washington!

[@poketcg1592]

man you cracked me tf up lmao

[@gram.]

I juz wun axe yew.... I axe yew have a rennel cah? I speurghbleurghburrdahdurrfleurrrdagurrburrrr

[@Nope-move-along]

these are the most patient officers I have ever seen

[@brian_2040]

It's because if something happens, the police will be crucified for upholding the laws.

[@DonutOperator]

God why did I ever shave my mustache off.

[@Eibsirf]

I actually didn’t recognize you when I first saw a video of you without it.

[@kittyhawk3831]

Wait... THAT WAS YOU!?

[@KriegKommando]

All babyfaced and stuff

[@MommaRed1862]

Cuz your wife said so! I had to shave mine for police academy :’( funny you have to be clean shaven in academy but not as an officer!

[@Nasx323]

never again please😭

[@johnnyfavorite1194]

Sounds like he’s drunk. If he’s a Boat Captain, he must be Captain Morgan.

[@OdysseyK]

Lol

[@briannotafan3368]

yo ho ho & a bottle of rum make him walk the plank

[@greyhawk5258]

@Randall W I will r/whooosh you now

[@thehomelessmuff]

Nice

[@PutItAway101]

hard to tell if sovtards are drunk, their retardation makes them sound drunk/stoned all the time.

[@Timothy-NH]

He's actually making just as much sense as a sober sovereign citizen!

[@CSGOLegendaryGaming]

Yes

[@memadmax69]

If you don't under stand a soverign citizen, then you need to study the constitution MOAR...

[@memadmax69]

Really? So quoting from the constitution is a mental disorder? I suggest a new place of living for ya at GPS coords: 39°02'1.86" N 125°45'15.55" E

[@MrNick417]

MeMad Max you mean the articles of confederation right?

[@EscapeWasAtHand]

This dude is a sovereign citizen. You can tell by the slang that he used

[@85Studios]

@Donut Operator, I know this is old, but please do more like this, I had so much fun watching this. This is hilarious.

[@lynnmoyer1114]

ABSOLUTELY!! 😂😂

[@codybyers7167]

Yarrrr! 😂

[@dragoninthemoon7719]

My blood pressure is elevating as the situation draws out. Dang dude. Just give them your boat license and step out of the boat.

[@IllUMINATED33]

Too funny. Best comment.

[@TheOgCokeCan]

But the guy walking his boat in the world didn't have probably cause, the cops obviously don't know the law, like he said😒😮‍💨

[@Mr.Finklebottom]

Spongebob incarnate.

[@michaelholland9701]

😂 has he been on the soup

[@axioaxis9539]

Don’t forget to let him know to drop his anchors or the vessel will “roll” away

[@MrLembnau]

That female officer is legendary.:"Step out of your vessel" i lost it there

[@allduckslikewater8017]

Well from what I seen she was having lots of fun

[@dablair8587]

Right before saying « you don’t have the right to ask questions « d u m b p o l i c e

[@PapiBoaty]

@@dablair8587 you’re really going to take things that out of context?

[@adrianhernandez1328]

@@dablair8587 really? That’s what you’re pointing out? Out of all the bullshit, this is what you pointed out?

[@DeathDealerAFD]

I came here to say this, A. She said step out of your vessel, love it, and then Holmes showed up with the gloves having none of this lol, he said alright, GTFO LMAO. Great video, I've been to that intersection, and I couldn't imagine talking to the police this way, they were very accommodating. Euclid police are scary, South Euclid police are like swat on crack, I don't really know how this guy got so far. An angel was watching over him lol

[@baylinwilson6438]

Drunk: “do you see my hands” Cop: “yes” Drunk: “good cause I don’t”

[@giveitall1992]

It's like a set up for a magic trick

[@helio2942]

Do I have probable hands?

[@PoW_22-AME_Gaming]

This is fucking gold

[@EKk8819]

The fact he didn't get suplexed out of his vessel by them cops in the first 30 seconds is astronomical...

[@Steve-ec6ed]

"He had the right to remain silent...but he didn't have the ability" - Ron White

[@CanadianOmelette]

But can he claim to have been thrown into public

[@alexanderkornegay1036]

Classic lmao

[@DigitalRX2r]

But man, the hell if he didn't make more sense than most sovvies despite being hammered. He used real words and tried to take the time to enunciate them properly. I'd give him a solid 8/10 for form and function on the sovereign citizen score board.

[@DanPullsSumo]

Bruhh😂

[@BillKrayer12thMan]

Well played,you win the internet.

[@KingRyanoles]

Suspect: “I’m the captain of this vessel!” Officer: “I’m about to shiver this guy’s timbers.”

[@memorialled_zeppelin-warew1346]

I laughed way to hard at your comment. But it did make my day. Thanks.

[@WhistleTeets85]

LoL 😁

[@taylorrivale9194]

Legit laughed at that

[@unikitty5131]

Brilliant 😂🤪🙄

[@briannotafan3368]

i just drank a bottle of jim beam he's starting to make sense to me now

[@ebayguy38]

😁🤣

[@memorialled_zeppelin-warew1346]

I obviously haven't drank enough yet.... Without donut operators translations I can't understand a damn thing this "boat captain" is saying. Ok, and how did this drunk idjit become a boat captain. Like others have said Captain Morgan is about about as much of a captain this guy will ever be. Poor captain Morgan.

[@PatronSaintA]

What's in that Jim beam

[@Kev_the_panda]

Joseph Stalin alcohol

[@Kev_the_panda]

LED_ZEPPELIN- WarewolfGirl-73 the guy kept saying vessel in the place of car

[@jameswest8280]

He wasn't sleeping in traffic, he was homesteading.

[@FuckNameImagination]

"Who am I?" Man is a philosopher not appreciated in his time

[@stephenmitchell3569]

He's a product of Affirmative Action and fakebook!

[@AnAmericanMusician]

@Sir Royston You should be.

[@memorialled_zeppelin-warew1346]

As Emily Dickenson said "I am Nobody !"..... Not really I'm Chriss .

[@davechezem3222]

He wasn't sleeping, his car was in anchor mode. LOL

[@forestplaysisaac]

Vessel*

[@nk14zp]

Dry dock.

[@thecrippledrummer]

nk14zp his dinghy was in dry dock

[@tylerjohnson4898]

His vessel has power anchors

[@alan-1768]

Yeah they had to stop to give the anchor a chance to work

[@Centrifuze]

I hope when this guy sobered up, they made him watch this entire situation OVER AND OVER again.

[@davidhandyman7571]

That would be a "cruel and unusual punishment" but hilarious.

[@jeffpienta4532]

​@@davidhandyman7571some judges would rule that's not unusual, but actually fitting

[@commentsforthealgorithm1740]

I hope that they did and he has a lot more appreciation for the police. And now knows that police exist.

[@goldsea1678]

This mans brain must be playing a constantly slurred version of the pirates of the Caribbean theme

[@themrnixter]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bJm4g6Ssrrl1rKM

[@carbinewolf]

@@themrnixter Holy shit I just died laughing

[@CaptainTrout]

I don't remember the N word being in that theme song, weird.

[@dirtydan9785]

"Is anybody bleeding? Is there damage to a vehicle?" "Not yet." Ooh we got some shade

[@anth3368]

Dirty Dan That cop about to drop a sick diss track

[@thraxpaxx210]

Just saw that right as he said it

[@thewhisperreaper3537]

sledge wouldnt of stood for this nor irish

[@walkerh2745]

The whisper Reaper sledge would’ve sucked up your window, no questions asked lmao.

[@mikefelty2625]

I was gonna say the same thing. Sledge would've ripped him out of the car.

[@bluev7427]

The whisper Reaper LOL

[@elis4192]

Lol ya

[@Irishpride7777]

Fucking A

[@vaultboya6253]

I kinda chuckled while the cop casually slipped on his work gloves. I thought "Oh boy, this guy is getting out of the car."

[@jeffreyvanderhorst223]

Failure to show a boating license

[@worsethanjoerogan8061]

Lmao

[@DonnieDarko1]

😂

[@chillcentaur217]

* insert SpongeBob going to jail here * XD

[@penguin12902]

Not wearing his PFD, no fire extinguisher easily accessible in the vessel.

[@ActualHumanPerson]

They should replay this video on loop in his cell.

[@linklgas1691]

Guantanamo Bay

[@bobbastion7335]

Goodun

[@RyanMiller3039]

Jose Perez II nope

[@chickenis1]

He's probably dumb enough to still agree with himself

[@sun1052]

BigK I think the Geneva convention would be after that department for doing that no one should have to sit through that

[@hunterg24]

I'm impressed. He's so drunk and yet he was able to hit all the Sov Citizen talking points.

[@ignaciosavi7739]

That's how those talking points came about

[@Domaorn]

makes me wonder if a whole group of people out there are being taught or finding youtube vids that explain it to the point that you could be drop dead drunk and still..... hmmmm wait a moment

[@Folker46590]

They have BS lawyers telling them what to say to try to confuse cops into letting them go. They always lose in court and the jails are full of these types of idiots. The Articles of Confederation, that they always try to use, were superseded by the Constitution and are NOT relevant and have not been for over 200 hundred years. Yet they keep trying to use them.

[@DubWubs]

Sovereign Talking points? You mean legal law?

[@hunterg24]

@@DubWubs how about you use the same talking points to police and/or a court of law and see what happens? Make sure to film it and let everyone know if your cell mate takes it easy on you the first night.

[@TheSeventhChild]

My favourite part was the collective shock of the officers ceasing to exist after he realized it was no longer 1929 and he was actually alone in his boat at the intersection

[@ifly300]

This interaction went about 20 minutes longer then it had any reason. He got the 2 most patient cops in the world. 99% of cops would have ripped has ass out of that car 2 minutes in.

[@luisvelazquez7257]

If he didn't pause every 5 seconds to the video would have been 3 minutes long.

[@ifly300]

@@luisvelazquez7257 I see math isn't your strong suite. Even with donuts interjections the video is still substantially longer then 3 minutes. My point still stands that those cops where very patient with a drunk idiot.

[@flameousart]

Agree, good cops

[@daviddonaghy7568]

I sure would have been one of the 99%.

[@HawkeyeCR52322]

Sarge is like.. Goddamn it boot, why didn't you taze him and be done with this

[@adamelliott2302]

By who's authority????? Neptune, King of The Seas! Now, get out that damn vessel!

[@Saanonymous80]

I am an Almighty Golden Shellback. By the authority of King Neptune get your Pollywog Azz out of the vessel

[@jagjitkailey5366]

Lol

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

@@Saanonymous80 HOOYAH! 🤜

[@jessicarabbi5216]

He probably would have agreed very quickly lmao

[@jonnyb.animationstutorials7119]

"Is Sleeping a crime?!" Yes, when you're sleeping in your car, in the middle of the intersection.

[@PeachyIceTea86]

Why is that so hard to understand? How many times did he ask the officer the same question over and over again, my god!!

[@michaelkorare3536]

Didn't you hear him Its a boat not a car

[@typicalasianguy1805]

@@michaelkorare3536 Ah yes! Sailing in 7th seas so nice until you have some pirates raid your boat because you were sleeping.

[@michaelkorare3536]

@@typicalasianguy1805 That's why you have weaponry on you boat at all times, like cannons to blast them pirates to the 8th dimension.

[@cprbird5464]

*boat

[@bradcarlson7828]

Ive binged watched your channel for 3 days on my respect for law enforcement just went through the roof

[@jmnori]

“There is no one in injury.” The difference between a sober sovereign citizen and a drunk idiot is indistinguishable.

[@EscapeWasAtHand]

Given how this idiot says things like that I assume he’s just a drunk sovereign

[@dphorgan]

Deep_6ix Most are drunks with their licenses suspended for DUI/DWI

[@1L6E6VHF]

Breath test Alcohol=drunk Venison= sovereign citizen.

[@isaacschmitt4803]

"I'm going to my mom's house to sleep." Not even two minutes later, "I'm going to pick up my kids."

[@DTCJimmy]

Everyone else: lol you ain't doing either

[@pelonrojo3584]

Of which he couldnt remember thier ages

[@sumvs5992]

I think he might still be in his dream of picking up kids

[@21stcenturystrengthethos47]

This guy was soo drunk he probably peep peed in his pants

[@owenpyott8739]

Plot twist: he fell a sleep on the wheel because of his kids keeping him up the day before and he just wanted to go to his moms house to get some sleep

[@punchdrunkatheist]

I feel sorry for him. It wasn't all that long ago that I was caught sleeping in my walk boat. I was immediately harassed by maritime felons who were trying to commit me with proper causes while I had done no emergency. They proved no civilish infraction, yet still pulled me from my vessel and illegally assaulted me in front of the red lights.

[@Greybews]

Aardvark hhhh, this can make it to Hollywood..

[@samfosdick9874]

Aardvark I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm an attorney...may I take your case?

[@punchdrunkatheist]

Unfortunately, as I'm a sovereign non-emergency maritime traveler, I will be representing myself in an open air court near the highway sea.

[@jayminer9416]

HAHAHAHA, Best post so far, Donut.....send this man a free shirt!!!!!

[@SkylabBeats]

pin this comment now 😂

[@awakenthewoke1091]

Next time your wife gets mad at you for drinking just say " I drank the beer but I threw it back up so no drinking has occured" 😂😂😂

[@goawaybaizuo]

This officer should get an award for patience!

[@gypsy9280]

Truth & Knowledge I would have just pull him out

[@caulifleur]

No, for wasting waaay too much time

[@Eoccdb]

They are only making traffic worse. They wasted way too much fucking time letting that idiot talk.

[@paulcastillo36]

Truth & Knowledge Amen brother.

[@mattladds7502]

@@Eoccdb Attempt to talk!

[@WinterWolf1045_]

Anyone else notice that at first he said "I'm going over to my Mom's house to sleep!" Then he changed it to "I am going to pick up my kid."

[@mitchpatlin3978]

WinterWolf_Of_SoCal Weird if it wasn’t for that, I think he would have been good to go

[@tortillajoe235]

Just when i read this he said I am going to pick up my kid

[@Bakerstreetgaming]

He states multiple different things

[@mandydecosta180]

@@tortillajoe235 yea the moment he said "im just going to pick up my kids" DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER

[@GusMortis]

Lying perhaps? 🤔

[@erichighsmith7299]

I literally laughed out loud when the female cop said “step out of your vessel 🚢 “ 😂😂😂

[@christopherg9806]

I always appreciate subtle, wry humor.

[@ChuckFinelyForever]

Points for effort Lol

[@SwimDeeep]

Holy shit I just BUSTED out laughing so loud when I read this I haven’t got to that part yet 😂😂 Look when the cop opened the door he kinda got it together for a sec. I THOUGHT he was pretending to sleep and be drunk and like then perked up like “HAHA GOT YOU DONT OPEN MY DOOR THATS ILLEGAL”

[@Ropelessromantic]

She was a good sport

[@Lord_Shadowfang]

@DakotaWX Same as when he said, "I'm going to my mom's house to sleep," then he says "I'm on my way to pick up my kids." Almost immediately after he changed his story, the cop opened his car door.

[@JohnCyzycki]

You absolutely missed the fact he claimed he just flew in, was heading to his mother's to go to sleep...then seconds later stated he was just heading to pick up his kids...

[@cocaineinmyvein]

Why did you throw "absolutely" in there?

[@RavenWolf515]

I think his kids are at his mother's.

[@CleanMusicHD223]

His kids were probably at his mother's

[@Jack_Assin]

His mother also lives in Atlanta Georgia, while he’s talking to an Ohio officer 👌🏼

[@hello-nq3ze]

@@CleanMusicHD223 typically when you say pick up his kids, you're planning to leave the place with your kids you're picking them up from. But he initially said he's going to sleep at his mother's place. You can't both pick up your kids from your mother's place and sleep there

[@marshallpaintingservices5335]

This guy sounds like every comedian imitating a drunk.

[@GalootWrangler]

Foster Brooks lives on.

[@scottkirkland6139]

Sounds like he is doing an inpression of a Martin Lawrence acting drunk.

[@ericgranberg7971]

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

[@CorundumDevil]

....that is... entirely possible, come to think of it. Not asserting that it's true, I just wouldn't be surprised by _that_ conclusion, either. People are trolls.

[@camerondiflo3828]

@@CorundumDevil Yeah but this guys sounds super drunk. I dont think that I have ever heard a drunk man or a sober person trying to imitate a drunk sound like this. Im not around very many drunk people so idk.

[@thelurkingpanda3605]

"I wasnt doing anything" *Yeah thats the problem*

[@ryanband0]

On of my favorite teachers would call out the fuckheads in the back when they weren’t messing around. They’d say “I wasn’t doing anything” and he would go “exactly” in a snarky voice lol. Even better, he just let people not pay attention and fail and laughed. Sink or swim.

[@MedicallyHigh]

“You see my hands right?” Sounded like he was trying to start a magic trick to the officer lol 😂

[@dot7084]

"I haven't committed an emergency"

[@ryanbahnsen9314]

" I don't under or overstand"

[@RedRider2001]

@@ryanbahnsen9314 time stamp?

[@RedRider2001]

15:14: "I don't I don't I don't I don't reckunize any car. I don't reckunize I don't reckunize any any any, any any being, so...."

[@notanaftagent8444]

I was just cringing thinking of how different the scenario would have been if an ambulance is trying to go down the road he was blocking

[@charlieemike]

It's like he was getting drunk at a party and someone explained the sovereign citizen shit, and he only kind of remembered.

[@outofbluepills]

Or he is permanently stupid, somebody explained some sovereign citizen bullshit to him, and he figured that this makes him an attorney.

[@jeffambrosia5678]

Did he just say,"you opened my vessel? you're charging me with no crime..this guy is the new Dave Chappelle..lol..what's your proppa cause?

[@jeffambrosia5678]

After explaining 100 times,drag his stupid ass out.

[@Lellobeetle]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@danfromga3002]

This comment is an example of comedy brilliance, perfect delivery.

[@thoughtful_criticiser]

He has a cunning plan! He's going to waffle on until he is sober enough to pass a breath test. Absolute genius.

[@coyotecom]

People have tried that. Try to keep the cops from breathalyzing you as long as possible, then demand you get a blood test at the station instead. Get to the station, get prepped for the test, demand your lawyer is present. Call your lawyer and try to stay on the phone as long as possible. Have your lawyer walk to the station if possible. Consult with lawyer as long as humanly possible to keep burning that alcohol out of your system. By the time they take a blood test, at least two hours should have passed, and you're under the legal limit. These are instructions that get posted to Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, KZbin, etc. Except in reality what happens is the drunk slurs into the camera for fifteen minutes and they arrest them and forcefully do the blood test at the hospital while they patch him up for resisting arrest because he screamed he'll fight the mayor himself and then threw hands with the officer.

[@dontellgucci1117]

Doesn’t work never will here’s why they take that time into consideration therefore they say in scientific facts that at the time he would have had X amount of alcohol. Although if you have a lot of money and the best lawyer you could get a lesser charge

[@michaelfrontera8147]

I heard he drove off into the sea and escaped to Caribbean

[@michaelfrontera8147]

@CodingCrusader1095 "He tried to lick the ice cream cone off my face."

[@robertclifton5795]

I tried that once ...... didn't work

[@storm---2650]

Captain 5th of jack: "Is there anybody bleeding? Is there damage to a car?" - Officer: "No, not yet..."

[@simplekid4328]

"I have 5 kids" "Then act like it" "YOU act like it!" 👁👄👁

[@dartmoordave]

I'm amazed he could concentrate long enough to impregnate someone?

[@ПетърКостадинов-э8ъ]

he is probably on a bottle of whiskey :D

[@kiwisontoast]

@@dartmoordave surprised he was sober enough to get it up

[@logangotro6863]

"I have not committed an emergency" Cop: pack it up boys

[@selfproclaimednobody4614]

Lol.

[@Johnny-sj9sj]

I suspect that the captain of this vessel is no stranger to neither the grape nor the grain 🧐 🍷🍷🍷🍻🍻🍻🍺

[@anth3368]

“What crime have I committed” “Sir you are impeding traffic” “But what crime though?” Excellent logic, totally unbeatable

[@thefogiscomingthef0giscoming]

exelent user name on your behalf, might I mention

[@scubadues]

As Mark Twain once said "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

[@katelookabaugh9803]

It drives me absolutely insane that the people ALWAYS ask the same question over and over but interrupt you when you try to answer.. and then use that as their defense that you never answered their question 😐

[@stevenbrown7042]

My dad had hip surgery yesterday. On top of that his van was cited for being abandoned. It was a mixup that was fixed in no time and the issuing deputy withdrew the ticket. After hearing he had hip surgery and it was a slow day the local deputies and the fire department signed a get well card and bought him a six pack of his favorite cider. Then swung by the house and wished him a speedy recovery. The neighbors wondered why there was six cruisers and two fire trucks parked out front. It’s a small unincorporated farm town so our police is the county sheriff. Our deputies are very laid back and more than willing to work with the people they serve and protect. It shows. Just don’t fuck up and they leave you alone.

[@je97ns59]

Its literally that easy dont fuck up and dont break the law that way you wont get in any trouble with policeXD

[@bryansansone3301]

That's awesome stuff. Hope your dad is doing well.

[@reedeayers]

There was a party in the small town my moms side has been in for over 100 years and both my parents were educators in that town for 40 years, everyone knows them. Well one day my buddies (not from said small town) and I were mudding until my linkage fell off and couldn’t go to the house (long story) so we pulled up the the gas station to try and figure out what to do and use their hose, asked the lady inside and she was cool with it mainly because it’s 11:30 and no one else is there. While we were there a group of underaged people and one of age person tried to buy a bunch of alcohol for a party, then they asked us if we were going, we said no, then 3 minutes after that cops showed up all mad saying we couldn’t be there and asked for our ID’s, when they saw mine they asked if my parents were who they are, I said yes, and they said “alight my have a good night” and left

[@rhonda8231]

Such amazing police. I am in Canada, and that would NEVER happen. They really are such good people who serve and protect. I am not used to that in Canada.

[@CaptainRockoBD]

Yea; this isn’t happening in a city lol.

[@cadman0752]

Vessel Owner: “Do you know Obama!?” Road Pirate: “No I do not know Obama.” Vessel Owner: *visible confusion*

[@duffeldoffer]

Osama-Bama has a boat..... full of holes.

[@twoxhutch1960]

Lol. This dude is crazy. Earlier in the conversation: "I'm going home. I'm going to my moms house to sleep." 3 mins later: "Im going to pick up my kids."

[@heyhoe168]

I am going to conquer the seas!

[@glenturney4750]

That's because, HE'S A LIAR. Can't EVER trust a liar. They have ZERO credibility and they don't even care. As long as they can manipulate somebody to get their way, they will lie til their soul has left their body.

[@BayMacDre415]

the mentality of a liar is to keep guessing and making something up until something sticks.

[@Tunoi_Veil]

just a tad tipsy :)

[@hurtusobad]

@@johnpayne4569 I was thinking the same thing. I feel sorry for those kids having a father like that. That is if there are any kids. First, he was going home, then to his mom's, and finally to pick up his kids. Can't trust anything a liar says.

[@robertshick8992]

"I'm not committing an emergency " I am finding some way to include this in conversation at least once a day

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

I also like the phrase "I overstand everything" Just the twist of turning "understand" into "overstand" alone is a stoke of drunken genius.

[@jimmyyeakel615]

Maybe he thinks that if he filibusters long enough, his blood alcohol will drop into acceptable levels.....only 10 more hours to go.

[@bschoer3492]

Uhhhh... Filibuster

[@PSC4.1]

B Schoer Filibuster- an action such as a prolonged speech that obstructs progress in a legislative assembly while not technically contravening the required procedures.

[@Misha-dr9rh]

It would take a lot longer than 10 hours for his shriveled plum of a liver to deal with more alcohol than blood.

[@LordLongDong69]

This dude is going to wake up hammered still

[@ExternusArmy]

Robert Johnson it was a reference to a show - It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[@WaldoCarmen]

Honestly, these cops took waaaaaay too long to arrest this guy.

[@fosterscott6674]

i found waldo

[@0o0ox]

@@fosterscott6674 racist!

[@swakner]

exactly can we just get a new rule that says the second they start spouting sovereign citizen shit they just get pulled out of the car and arrested so we can move on.

[@art3mis728]

@@mottlement3571 wow you are WAY off the joke

[@art3mis728]

@@mottlement3571 the dudes name is Waldo... and the dude you replied was also making a joke

[@youtakethemoonandyoutakethesun]

When you try to complete a 100 point Speech check with 11 Speech

[@rrex1392]

Tech Master more like low intelligence in New Vegas

[@crocop6873]

😂

[@jamesp5644]

When all your skill points are in strength

[@joshuabaker4916]

When your points are in endurance

[@gamman1]

When you try to stop the road pirates from taking your walk boat.

[@dandyone_123]

There's a time to be patient and then there's a time to put hands on this guy. Just like donuts said this guy could have stepped on the gas really hurt somebody

[@j.m.8193]

That dude should be a writer for Buzzfeed. He’d fit right in.

[@at0micwerew0lf]

Sub MOA I think he IS. A writer for buzzfeed.

[@helvehammer7846]

Sub MOA That's good shooting. Uncle Sam's M2HB would do that *oh,never* with a new barrel on it when I field tested the shit out of one at Khe Sanh.

[@j.m.8193]

Helve Hammer I’m so confused. I think you’re taking about a video of me shooting a belt-fed in the Cuchi tunnels... but I don’t think I ever posted that one of KZbin. ???

[@helvehammer7846]

Sub MOA I said "sub- minute of angle shooting is damn good" Then I hinted that I was no Carlos Hathcock during my only up to bat with The Heavy Fifty. Literally it was "sub-foot-sized groups-at-100 yards" from a tripod with a new barrel. (I don't believe that Carlos Hathcock shit - I'd have had to seen it with my own eyes ) At the time I didn't give a damn about accuracy -all I wished for was a water cooled barrel, a faster Assistant Gunner, and for the shit to stop. I got one out of three wishes. 50 years later I'm still here, ain't I ?

[@j.m.8193]

Helve Hammer Now it makes total sense. I thought you were addressing me, but you were actually talk by about the term SUB MOA. My screen name is more of a goal of mine, rather than an actuality.

[@JulietEcho]

Can we charge him for committing a probable cause on our sanity?

[@sheogorath2657]

SurpriseDonuts I found this entertaining give this dude some absinthe and put him up as a stand up comedian,proceed to call the police and let the” sketch” form itself

[@worsethanjoerogan8061]

I might sue him for his cringe causing injury to my neck

[@ruediix]

Nope, just obstructing a roadway, public drunkenness and operating a vehicle under the influence. As a note, driving a boat while drunk on Ohio waterways is also a DWI, not that it's ever enforced. Technically even riding a bicycle while drunk is a DWI. Simply put, in Ohio any vehicle on any public right of way, while intoxicated is a DWI. It also doesn't matter what intoxicant. You could be high on intoxicating quantities of nutmeg for all the law cares. Furthermore, if the vehicle is in the public roadways, and not parked in a proper parking space, it is considered being operated by whomever is in the operator's seat, so it doesn't matter that the engine is not on, he is considered the operator of the vehicle. The definition of if a vehicle needs a license to drive on public roadways is if the engine is over 1/4 horsepower or if motorized, the vehicle is capable of going over a certain speed. Hence he is driving a motor vehicle that requires a license and registration.

[@Waffle_Spaghetti]

SurpriseDonuts more like attempted murder

[@kadragon3764]

Doooby Correction. He has 5 kids, consisting of 5 11 year olds, 3 10 year olds, 2 6 year olds, 1 3 year old, and 1 one year old

[@botcrack]

* Gets blackout drunk, and wakes up the next morning * "did i have too much to drink last night and teach an Intro to Law class again?"

[@molonlabe9785]

LOL “again”😂😂

[@briannotafan3368]

guy was still drunk 2 days later whares my vessel i docked it rite there

[@aro327]

He did stay at a holiday inn express

[@GusMortis]

Knowledge

[@kaloren7268]

The police officer had miles of patience I would not have been so calm.

[@sparks6177]

Clearly this man wasn’t drunk he was channeling an ancient philosopher

[@Error-5478]

I wonder which one...

[@captainjackpugh6050]

Arstle or constinople bu bu i a whats was your probile closer? Les a talk busines what i dont even know whats gon on with my my privea aa aa a aaaaa aaaaaaa

[@jamesl610]

The only ancient anything from the Mediterranean that he's channeling is Dionysis, God of alcohol, parties, and nature.

[@mikusoxlongius]

So crates. - Bill and Ted

[@annotten7413]

He was just speaking in cursive 🤣

[@rachel_dix]

The female officer sounded like she's dealt with some human flesh and beings in their vessels before. Got to give her props for trying to speak the lingo

[@catlover1986]

Being just outside of Cleveland, where around half the population is so inclined, it is a necessity to understand crazy.

[@Rhinexing]

When the female officer says, "Step out of your vessel." LOL! Great vid, 🍩!

[@fierymongoose9945]

There's an awesome clip from a Tampa judge where the guy is trying to BS at court saying, "I am the living man [John Smith], and not the vessel [JOHN SMITH]," and the judge is like, "Well, I'm sentencing both of you to contempt of court. The baliff will take you to your cell and if you see the vessel [JOHN SMITH] in there you can tell him he's under arrest as well."

[@DerAua]

She tried, she honestly tried.... 😂😂

[@sshrp]

She was laughing after.

[@nthgth]

@@fierymongoose9945 LMAO. Awesome judge. Is that on KZbin? What are good search keywords?

[@fierymongoose9945]

@@nthgth kzbin.info/www/bejne/p2e0ZXl-arSsgqs nonsense starts around 2:20. Even crazier than i remembered

[@shadowmaster7333]

“Train on the water, Boat on the track, Train and the water boat on the track” - oG Peter

[@DustinSanchezTV]

Ah yes. The “Do you know Obama” defense. Strong move

[@cooolguy1014]

Lmao

[@mattl9303]

Lmfao

[@WidlyScuds]

If the cops found weed on him he probably would have claimed, "Obama legalized it."

[@a.edw.160]

Major power move

[@SomeGuy-sj1ly]

Not as strong as the chewbacca defense

[@jaribbranfield7647]

Imagine if he wasn’t actually drunk 😂 and this is him sober

[@Icarus_Tactical]

imagine him when he’s drunk though…

[@benfletcher8100]

@@Icarus_Tactical He’s fully functioning 😂

[@StingofTruth]

Imagine this is him sober, and serving as a lawyer in a court case like this....

[@owenstevens7151]

well he would have his liscense revoked regardless for sleeping behind the wheel

[@patricklapointe4979]

Brooooooo lamo!

[@briannotafan3368]

no life jackets or flare gun in your vessel $50.00 fine call the coast guard

[@penguin12902]

Need a fire extinguisher too. That's another fine.

[@harryassenback2860]

Brian notafan he needs that throw flotation device as well.

[@spethmanjones2997]

Lol

[@luxonlex4453]

Yup, triple "A" for him is 1-(800) 245-BOAT (Boat U.S. for non-emergency towing and salvage)

[@Coupe420]

Only need life jackets and fire extinguisher, flare gun and ship to shore is only for off shore like the great lakes or oceans!

[@jonbamber9966]

Those have to be the most patient officers I’ve ever seen in my life.

[@dalesfailssagaofasuslord783]

Suspect: “Obama! Obama!” Cop: “dammit! You’re free to go sir”

[@briannotafan3368]

now its biden biden

[@meyakabrown795]

@@briannotafan3368 Yup. 😒

[@gyroscope915]

That's his safe word

[@14714623]

True story.

[@John-1984]

Reminds me of the FedEx pilot who was hitching a ride and tried to kill the crew so he could crash the plane and let his family claim the insurance money. He thought Obama would give him a pardon. It was Federal Express flight 705 if anyone's interested.

[@WindowLickingDeer]

This took so long, I'm surprised he wasn't sober by the end of the traffic stop.

[@alcoholic9496]

That was his plan, stall as long as possible to sober up.

[@veggiemetal7812]

Lolololol

[@retard_activated]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Zeratul3598]

hahaahaahahhahhahhahahahahahahhaha

[@kingcosworth2643]

I don't understand why the police are told to try and be rational with irrational people. Say one time what needs to be said so you don't get in trouble, that smack the guy down.

[@zachwhittiemore1112]

Bro, she is literally in the back laughing at his responses, they took long to arrest this guy because it was good comedic relief for the day LOL

[@joshuahumphries7743]

^^ I honestly feel like it too

[@yanderemuffin]

@@trapsterstarvideos4078 epic troll comment dude! Poggers!

[@joshuahumphries7743]

@@trapsterstarvideos4078 who hurt you

[@trapsterstarvideos4078]

@@joshuahumphries7743 when they enforced a "law" that said i was not allowed to go outside for fresh air past 8pm and gave me 9 months of jail time for doing so in canada with all of our "freedom"

[@joshuahumphries7743]

@@trapsterstarvideos4078 I have no idea what you mean by that but take a chill pill and stop generalizing

[@randygueller6252]

should of wrote him a ticket for not wearing a life jacket

[@gearreviewwithswampy5794]

Randy Gueller lol that’s good

[@SnuffitLabs]

You can also cite him for not having a fire extinguisher too. He's also missing his registration number near the bow of his "boat".

[@gearreviewwithswampy5794]

SnuffitLabs lol

[@gearreviewwithswampy5794]

SnuffitLabs I know I can

[@jonenglish6617]

beat me to it.

[@michaelphillips2024]

Imagine how hard it is for his kids having to live up to the expectations of such an excellent boat captain.

[@junko4166]

"Mustacheless Donut isn't real. He can't hurt you" Mustacheless Donut:

[@chickencadyn9809]

Donut is donut

[@Gxome]

Oh God I just noticed

[@kronichaze]

a donut without sprinkles

[@haleyt3754]

A cake donut

[@CharleneChan0570]

I thought it was different KZbinr

[@xRhadical]

It's almost like he got more drunk over the course of the video

[@Mugetsu_Gaming]

Digestion lmfao

[@ilia2010100]

Yeah next thing you know the vessel becomes a spaceship

[@jon9441]

He's on Xanax. He's too active to be presenting as drunk. Slurred words and confusion are also a common side effect of Xanax (or other benzodiazepine) abuse.

[@mateopavolini]

He forgets to hide hes high

[@Averagehazmat]

Pills

[@patriotanon3910]

Captain: “Before you open my vessel, I just wanna let you know you’re committing a *crime* right now.” Speech: [99/100] *FAIL* Officer: Yeah, step outta the vehicle.

[@spencerharkin9398]

You forgot the gdj😋dyebdufbr+3vsjdbdhduebejdj4;$d☺️vrbrjrirbrb😚rjdiebbekdhd😚 sj+$7bdizb73!hsuebeb Part

[@CourierSiix]

I appreciate that FNV reference

[@DangardsBrain]

I'm waiting for him to say "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me & sticks to you!"

[@spoot3613]

omg its 2021 and im watching this donut frickin looks like a teenager

[@aidenpommee766]

Yes he does

[@ruffles886]

Mustaches work wonders. It’s like every man should have one

[@teutonicknight23]

For real!!!!!! He looks like my brother, who ironically is in his thirties but looks like a 12 yo when he shaves.

[@winowarrior9392]

He does and.... Anyone like, uh gotta have a driver's license to drive so get tf out of the car. ???

[@nateharrington6773]

Key to getting likes - State the year. Noted

[@silvermediastudio]

He couldn't have been *asleep,* because he be *woke.*

[@Nops47]

I hate getting caught sleep walking my boat down the road

[@youtubefuckingsucks]

Ryan Spontak omg that was such a good part 🤣

[@fan9775]

Sleep driving has happened before. It's. Very. Creepy.

[@OttuR_]

Don't forget it's in, "the world"

[@name_null0108]

#metoo

[@mauricenestler6559]

Lol what is that badge behind your name?

[@brockcoderre6086]

Easily some of the best Donut commentary I've seen. I've actually laughed aloud like a crazy person multiple times during this video. Comedy gold. Road Pirates Zero Not A Person Man In A Vessel ONE

[@brayhill]

There once was a driver in a haze Who seemed he'd been sleeping for days His defense had a flaw Under maritime law You know that it ends in a taze

[@robertcooney6908]

Excellent 👍

[@StealthySpace7]

That made me laugh so hard

[@StealthySpace7]

Don’t be a menace in central Ohio while sleeping in your boat

[@Road-Peasant]

Hahah

[@gerryfunke1343]

Craig Shields 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 LMAO HOLY CRAP that’s funny😂😂😂😂😂

[@ThePresidentofMars]

"Im not a human being" *voluntarily revokes ones human rights*

[@glenturney4750]

He's got MY vote. 🤣🤣🤣

[@Philostipher]

This dude walked out of his house that morning yelling that he can't breate

[@KevinWatzke]

this was the day you finally caught Captain Black Sparrow!

[@ThiccCammyBoi]

SmEk Damn road pirates!!

[@cooldude2251]

ThTs gotta be the best pirate I've ever seen

[@superfetus795]

"....... And then they made me their king"

[@Mystninja]

Aka Captain Morgan

[@KingDiszi]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🧟‍♂️

[@itsumayo]

10:42 “I don’t see a vessel” Ah yes, so he’s in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy’s Invisible Boatmobile

[@thegreencat9947]

He even sounds like Mermaid Man.😀

[@jesusisoursavior6234]

In this guy's defense, the laws are a little confusing pertaining to non-persons operating vessels outside of bodies of water, while inebriated and unconscious. The important thing to remember is that he woke up and his hands were empty, which clears him of violating any emergencies.

[@maxischew514]

brenda skelton Lol.

[@fortma4535]

brenda skelton 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@GarretMarks]

I wish I could get high enough for any of that to make sense, but nobody got that kind of money.

[@byronmclaggan3443]

The way you worded that. I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. 😂😂😂

[@metalwall3090]

"You can't explain it to me because I'm an me" no one really picked up on that.

[@obotowski]

Ah yes, he is filibustering until he sobers up. Very smart, he's playing the long game

[@jdisdetermined]

Yep. At one drink metabolized per hour, he's only gotta keep it up for another 16 hours and he's good.. 😁

[@jamesdorpinghaus3294]

Genius! Maybe I'll try that if I'm ever dumb enough to drink and drive. 🤔

[@DumFukChuk]

I’m currently installing 5 iron barricades in my car as we speak....

[@MartinBohun]

That would take like 2-3 DAYS!!! He was not sober for 20 years.

[@glowedupdrew9842]

😂

[@VincoVenator]

Whenever a cop comes across a 'sovereign citizen' it should be police policy to immediately start speaking like a pirate

[@thepreservation9760]

Underrated comment

[@someguy8428]

This vessal be stolen matey *Uses lightning flintlock*

[@andygarside2418]

Instead of being arrested, the sovcits should be made to walk the plank!

[@justinlezu793]

Those are the most patient cops I’ve ever seen

[@trumanhw]

Have they *ever* seen a cop say, "Oh, yeah, that's the law - you're right. My bad. You can go."

[@huntergunner416]

Yeah

[@RomanianJ96]

argue it out in court then.

[@evo1video]

There's plenty of KZbin videos where cops let people go because they realize they were in the wrong. I just watched a video not to long ago where the captain/chief came to a traffic stop and yelled at the other officers because what they were doing was against the law. He apologized to the person that was pulled over.

[@ph11p3540]

I for one am thankful for these "road pirates". Last thing I want is some rum drunk "boat captain" ramming my stern while my ship is all stop at a red light house keeps flashing.

[@worsethanjoerogan8061]

waifu San We all know you secretly want your stern rammed

[@gergc4871]

This is unjust. The dog didn't get to bite someone. Did you hear his whine? Heartbreaking.

[@Arrowtomahknee]

Poor doggo. I hope he got to have fun with a chew toy back home.

[@hycron1234]

_Now the dog has PTSD, those cruel bastards_ ...

[@tonydobek8908]

Gerg C 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Mr.Snickers_]

Needed some borkborknomnoms

[@totallynottoaster1114]

Gerg C The dog would have gotten alcohol poisoning just by biting that man