inside the mind of an addict

I talk about the inner turmoil I struggled with inside my mind during the worst of my drug addiction and alcoholism. Why I continued to hit rock bottoms and keep using despite all evidence pointing to the logical solution of quitting. I talk about the stigma of being a drug addict and what others said to me that didn't help at all and what others did that helped incredibly.
This video was made with the intention of giving an insight to what the addict(myself) was thinking, how I justified my using, how I lost my power to make smart choices and control my using and the consequences that followed, how others tried to help me and how some really helped me when I felt most undeserving of any help at all.
This video is not meant to elicit sympathy or to make excuses for addicts still using, or to trigger anyone, its made just to express my experience and hopefully connect with someone out there so they know they are not alone and this is a continued battle but that drug addiction and criminal offenses no matter how many don't have to define your future. It is something that can be treated medically and you can begin to heal from.
I called a 1-800- number when I was trying to find a treatment center, I also had people drop me off at hospitals when I felt suicidal, homicidal, or just ready to quit.
Please reach out for help if you want to quit and can't stop using. 1-800-662-4357
Want to help contribute?
Below are ways to directly support my small business Goody Stash and this channel:
Thank you for just being here and supporting my journey as well as the constructive criticism you give me.
My Poshmark shop: poshmark.com/c... (specializing in mostly vintage plus some more recently upcycled and handmade pieces)
New to Poshmark? sign up with my code: GOODYSTASH to get $10 off your first purchase.
my paypal: [e-mail]
My artwork on Amazon t-shirts & notebooks/journals:
(I design each product then upload the completed digital file for Amazon to print and ship each order. I receive a small commission per order. I love this deal because I get to focus on the fun part; the art!!)
Earned my Stripes zebra blank lined wide ruled notebook- www.amazon.com...
Silly earned my stripes zebra graphic tee- www.amazon.com...
Eternal Opportunist skyscraper blank lined college ruled notebook- www.amazon.com...
Eternal Opportunist head in the clouds blank lined notebook- www.amazon.com...
Weekly Planner 52 weeks: Blank daily calendar priorities appointment organizer book- www.amazon.com...
Weekly Planner 52 Weeks blank weekly planner personalized daily to do calendar- www.amazon.com...
Please excuse the mess I work here blank lined notebook- www.amazon.com...
Please excuse the mess I work here (purple version)- www.amazon.com...
Please excuse the mess I work here (pink version)- www.amazon.com...
Everybody wants to be a lion til. . . blank lined notebook- www.amazon.com...
Fox blank lined notebook- www.amazon.com...
Siberian Husky blank lined journal #1- www.amazon.com...
Siberian Husky deep thoughts blank lined journal #2- www.amazon.com...
Diary of a foodie blank lined journal- www.amazon.com...
Free as a bird parrot blank lined wide ruled notebook- www.amazon.com...
Funny creepy clown graphic tee- www.amazon.com...
Cheeky llama wearing fanny pack graphic tee- www.amazon.com...

[@taraw4633]

Thank you. Your videos have helped me better support my clients as a social worker. I appreciate you. You are helping others.

[@giftedafflicted]

That’s amazing to hear it’s helped in anyway. Appreciate you telling me and kudos to you for all the work your doing to help the community; I know social workers have a heavy load to carry but man you all can make such an impact💜💜💜

[@hanakosmic6640]

Thank you so much. Your insight in invaluable. Your story matters. Your recovery in incredibly inspirational. Thank you for loving you enough to recover so that I had the absolute honor to hear your story. Love & Light

[@giftedafflicted]

Thank you, you’re amazing! You’re energy is really captivating.

[@teresachill]

Thank you very, very much for sharing your story and your wisdom. I am the Mom of a son that is an active heroin/ meth addict that lives on the streets. He has distanced himself from me and the entire family. We have not heard from him in over a year. You have given me understanding and hope. God bless you child. May your path continue on this healing journey.

[@giftedafflicted]

Thank you so much for your well wishes, I pray your son finds his way back home to you, my mom used to watch the news just to see if I was killed because we too were not speaking for LONG periods and she just wanted to know if I was still alive, never lose hope, a lot can happen in a day, I think my mom had everyone she knew praying for me and eventually I sought help & woke up, I pray your son does too and I pray you find a supportive place to lean on in the meantime as that’s such a heavy burden to bear I could not even imagine💕🖤💕

[@llllllllllllll8576]

Thank you so much for your honesty. I wish everyone spoke with such honesty. I lasted 11 month totally sober. As for what I can remember, my mind was so clear. Of course I had worries and problems, yet they were manageable. I left the rooms a few years ago and I haven't been back. I have a lot of resentments with certain meetings. I can't seem to get past the popularity contest that I see. Please understand I am not in knocking the program. It is a very good thing that saves lives. And I think it's awesome that you are working it. Keep going back!

[@giftedafflicted]

Thanks, believe me I get it, I was court ordered to AA and I picked up some skills and knowledge from it for sure so I agree it helps many but it wasn’t for me long term, I was corrected a lot for just being myself in the rooms of AA, I’m still sober but I did better with therapy, outpatient treatment, spirituality, art and weightlifting for my long term sobriety, I think it’s important that more options are offered or explored than just AA, NA, SA, as the end all be all to recovery. I also don’t think everyone is meant for total abstinence, I think if for example someone was shooting dope and now they just smoke weed that’s a HUGE win still, that’s a huge amount of progress, thanks again for reaching out, take care of yourself, whatever that looks like for you💕🖤💕

[@mujerespues5262]

Many thanks for sharing this. The people who love our addicts need a guide to love them better and this can work. It amazes me so much that it all comes down to love and compassion. God bless you.

[@angelozapp]

You should be proud of yourself you're a legend I had a problem I no longer use no more it's been close to 2 years God bless you🕎❤️💯🇦🇺👍

[@giftedafflicted]

Thanks, same to you, 2 years that’s incredible!!

[@angelozapp]

@@giftedafflicted thank you

[@cougar2013]

I totally hear you about not shaming people, and I have a ton of respect for you putting yourself out there. In your opinion, why does society not seem to learn its lesson that these harder drugs never really lead to good outcomes? Anyway, isn’t there some kind of difference between someone who gets cancer and someone who chooses to live an unhealthy life? Anyway thanks for the great content!

[@sandraellis2738]

That was a very powerful video. I have relatives. That are addicted to drugs your video has made me understand so much. I will be given out more hugs and unersranding

[@giftedafflicted]

I’m glad me sharing helped in some way. Of course every addict is different but yeah compassion won’t hurt anyone, a little gesture really goes along way. I wish you and your family all the best.

[@stephensmith2857]

So true