Intellectualising vs Feeling. An Autistic's Adventure in Burnout World

While burnout doesn't feel like fun, it's definitely interesting and that's why I'm on a video splurge this week or so.
In this video, I share some of my real-time thoughts, feelings & insights about my burnout situation. I touch upon the trauma, dissociation, and neurodivergence link & share how recognising what's going on in my body is starting to help me recover.
This is an un-cut, un-edited video I made while walking around our Box Gum Woodland near Cowra, NSW, Australia. The images are taken from there during this month. I'm sniffing a bit because I have hay fever so my apologies for that, I tried to limit it. I look a bit dishevelled because I recorded the video on my phone while on my early morning walk so this is as raw as it gets I guess.
I make and share these videos to document the process I'm going through so that I can see myself from different angles and perspectives (I guess) and also because the actual process of making these videos encourages me to connect to my body and dive into my feelings. This is not something I consciously avoid doing generally, I'm not one for feeling shame around my feelings. It's actually more because my autism makes connecting with my body in real-time very difficult. This then feeds sensory overwhelm due to the backlog and that in turn contributes to burn-out. So there you go. That's what's going on. I hope you find the video somewhat useful wherever you are on your journey.

[@roxanes43]

Thank you for putting this into words. I'm learning to identify how burnout may present in my late diagnosed ASD/ADHD dance in life. Lately life has been more difficult that "usual" and tolerance is low. I always enjoy your content.

[@BenjaminPalumbo]

Thank you.

[@nataliehughes1963]

You explain it so beautifully. I can relate to a lot of what you say, thank you for sharing.

[@joanmejer3126]

-I absolutely love your courage, dedicated to share and collectively learn about the experiential process of self discovering, accepting, and disclosing the past and prior, persistent repetitive, unspoken struggles, that led to an adult diagnosis. This is recognizable for anyone who have survived by minimizing their own experience, in order to avoid exclusion from the people we depend on, in order to develop and secure our interests or attachment bonds. Thank you, for helping so many of us, developing an actual conscious awareness and an actual language, that allows communicating of oneself, in order to authentically connect with others.

[@suddenlyautistic]

That's very generous of you to say. Thank you. I really appreciate it

[@artemisXsidecross]

Tea and Sympathy 💔

[@tracik1277]

The natural environment around you is so beautiful. I want to move out of the built up environment I currently live in. I imagine I will be so much more at peace. I relate to what you said about the therapist not being a good fit. I’m with a NHS therapist at the moment and there is a lot of mismatch due to her not having an instinctual understanding of what it is to be Autistic. I wish you well on your recovery, you seem to know what is good for you 😊

[@suddenlyautistic]

Thank you. I have amazing hindsight but a terrible memory plus next to no impulse control which makes for a bumpy but interesting ride. It's great for creative content but not so good for my adulting skills lol. I wish you well also

[@nancyzehr3679]

a pretty scarf! i am in burnout now. it's hard. so thank you for sharing.

[@suddenlyautistic]

Thank you.

[@aspidoscelis]

For the incurable botanists in the audience... is it safe to assume the plant photos are from the Blue Mountains & vicinity?

[@aspidoscelis]

I know someone who was / is doing conservation work with those turtles, or members of the same genus in any case. He's somewhere around halfway between Melbourne & Sydney.

[@aspidoscelis]

Presumably the first plant is Burchardia umbellata. The second a species of Rytidosperma. The third a species of Xerochrysum. The fourth Arthropodium strictum. The fifth I leave as an exercise for the reader. (Not that this has any relevance to the topic at hand, but sometimes I get carried away...)

[@aspidoscelis]

Regarding medication, my experience has been that even those with a net negative effect can be very unpleasant to discontinue. Which is annoying, because that means the before / after of discontinuation can be misleading.

[@suddenlyautistic]

These are from Woodstock in the central tablelands. We have 50 acres of box gum woodland out here. I'll name the plants I can for you

[@suddenlyautistic]

​@aspidoscelistigris yes first is Burchardia umbellata. I have tried eating the roots and they do taste like new potatoes. Very nice. Then there's some wallaby grass, Rytidosperma fulvum. Next sticky everlasting Xerochrysum viscosum - Sticky Everlasting Daisy. The purple flower is Arthropodium strictum, Chocolate Lily. There's some white Cyprus pine Callitris glaucophylla. The last is Ptilotus erubescens or hairy tails I think.