Inside the minds of narcissists and their flying monkeys

#narcissism #narcissist #flyingmonkeys #drruthann #drruthannharpur #smearcampaign #gossip
The idea that narcissists have minions of "flying monkeys" has gained significant traction on social media.This term has become a popular way to describe the manipulative tactics employed by narcissistic individuals when communicating with third parties, particularly when surrounded by relational conflicts. While not found in scientific or psychological literature, the term encompasses various behaviors attributed to narcissists. It can be a daunting idea, as the notion suggests that narcissists possess an almost godlike power, capable of commanding an army of minions to act as their agents. In this video, I shed light on the ways narcissistic individuals often engage with third parties during conflicts. By exploring these interactions, we can better understand the dynamics at play and hopefully better equipped to respond to the challenges that arise.
Stay tuned for my upcoming video, which will offer invaluable advice on how to protect and care for yourself if you find yourself caught in the midst of negative gossip, smear campaigns, or other challenges during or after a conflict with a highly narcissistic person. Don't miss out on this crucial information!
Movie Clips from "The Wizard of Oz" (1939) copyright owned by Warner Brothers.
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[@JyotiShivaShakti]

💯It's exhausting. It limits your free life. The worst part is that they don't let go.

[@DarrenFMagee]

Excellent video on the topic 👍

[@drruthannharpur]

Thanks Darren!

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

Great video (love the editing)! It's definitely intent behind complaining about a third party. What's funny is deceitfulness is an ASPD trait in the American DSM-5, not NPD. But nobody give a f*kc about terms and traits. I love the Wizard of Oz and I did wish for the witch to win in the end. Lol Dorothy had no right to steal the witch's sister's shoes and then kill her just to get back to Black and White land, the place she wanted to run away from in the first place. It's not like Toto is safe from being "destroyed" by the b*tch on the bike. Did everyone forget that part? Gossip: My friend sharing a dirty secret about their friend to me. Mutual Support/Validation: My Aunt and I talking about the destructive behaviors of my mother or sister. Flying Monkey: Me talking about my relationship with a mutual friend of my ex, in hopes that they will hear about it. Truth Telling/Withholding: Telling your side of the story without taking responsibility for your part in the downfall of the relationship. People who believe they are the victim refuse or can't see their part in the fallout. And sometimes a mutual will fly to me and give information I didn't ask for (gossip) and I will withhold my part of the rapture on purpose (deceit).

[@drruthannharpur]

Thanks Sara! Have you seen, "Wicked"? The witch is the real victim 🙃

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

@@drruthannharpur No, I haven't seen that! Finally, the truth comes out. HAHAHA

[@drruthannharpur]

@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE you need to see it - you will love it!

[@AccountabilityZero]

This is literally Maria Lee

[@digishah]

I like the term flying monkeys. When I found out my ex was telling the man she was cheating on me with how horrible I was as person after I had broken down as a result of the lies and deceit. I was so obsessed with setting the record straight, with letting my truth be known to them. But when I heard people talking and referring to similar people in their relationship as flying monkeys. I started to step back and had a more logical look at it. Yes this person was infatuated with my ex as I once was, so he only cares about her opinion anyways regardless if its the truth or not. But more importantly, his opinion or the opinion of any of her flying monkey has no bearing on me because they dont even know me. Is it dehumanizing, yes, but at the time I needed it so that I didnt put any weight on their skewed opinion of me.

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you for sharing this - so important to realise that what people who don't even know you might think of you says nothing about who you actually are. The new person in this situation may find the tables turn on them eventually. The next video looks at defensiveness and how to manage it so stay tuned! It's in the works atm😊

[@cjames1915]

I think many people say things at other’s expense so that they are always right and win. It can be a relational trait that becomes normalised, and of course they play the victim. It reminds me of the idea of not just an absence of empathy but mentalising which is common on NPD.

[@drruthannharpur]

There can be a real drive to maintain ego and image and have a sense of coming out on top.

[@cjames1915]

@@drruthannharpur yes and the damage done is not just to the persons reputation but to trust. Do you use MBT?

[@drruthannharpur]

@@cjames1915 I don't use MBT personally but it's a very helpful approach. I use schema therapy and CBT.

[@wendyb17]

Really well done, Ruth Ann !

[@drruthannharpur]

Thank you Wendy! 👋

[@TonneMiessek2442]

What happened to the Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Did they devour him too?

[@juliechurch1799]

Hello I'm experiencing this ☹️

[@drruthannharpur]

Sorry to hear that Julie, you might find this video helpful too kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2rFdqiEesuKa9E

[@TheHouseElf]

How do you discern between recruiting flying monkeys and seeking help during a tough conflict? I hate to imagine intention is the key, but on the outside, it could look one and the same.

[@drruthannharpur]

I think there's a difference between seeking emotional support and seeking validation for our opinion/perspective but can any of us honestly say, we don't seek our and enjoy support and validation for our perspectives in a highly conflicted situation? I also think there's a difference between seeking support with the expectation that the conversation stays private and the expectation that it gets back to the other person. Does that make sense? What do you think?

[@TheHouseElf]

@drruthannharpur Certainly can't say I don't! I have some paranoia/trauma around being accused of this. Getting gaslit as a kid really confused my internal compass. Basically if someone feels accosted by me, I jump to the conclusion that I'm in the wrong. Historically, recruiting "flying monkeys" (family and appropriate authorities) was met with ire and was punished. There is something to the validation--being believed and not being made to feel crazy by the other.