I loved this ❤ especially the bit at around 2:20. Revenge is never going to be a good thing in these situations. Far more wholesome to be kind to yourself and your ex. Loved the distinction between healthy and unhealthy ruminating. And yes, kind self reflection is so important. 🙌 Another top video Dr!

Thank you ! I need here this .Look for character not a ✨ spark. Introduce them to friends early How do they handle conflict Healthy relationships don't certainty at beginning. It won't feel conforable to break the pattern.

Didn't know that attachment style could change over time throughout someone's life, I thought it was more of a 'template' a person got stamped with growing up. Very useful, thanks!!!

Thank you for this. I feel very much Western society is obsessed with who to blame, revenge and finger pointing. Ask yourself: Would a buddhist spend this much time thinking about their oppressors? (Real or otherwise)

The local CMHT in my area refused to beleive I was n stil am an abuse victim and instead blamed my emotional dysregulation mood swings on my meds despite the fact I've self harmed and felt psychotic crazy my entire life!

Single means free and safe at the same time. Think about that instead...

You may think all day long on how to prove hes a narc pyco and acculy meanifesting aguments and starting it all along untill you have destroyed his life. Of corse hes going to ne angery with you forever ,your gone after you do that or you should be because your the problem there ,pretending to be all innocent, and guess what your going to atract amore hidden agenda qiet bad bader baddest fake nice guy next time.

That’s a great topic, and nice to see you back 👍

Internal Validation ❤

Oh my goodness, there's so much misinformation within this interview... i cannot believe that these ppl are working with this population! The basic knowledge of a collapsed narc is even completely incorrect. I refer people to @ProfessorSamVaknin for correct information of this topic.

I'm searching for more clinicians like you, Dr. Mark Ettensohn, and Dr. Kirk Honda that provide empathetic views toward people suffering from personality disorders like NPD (while also importantly holding them accountable, when need be!). Would you happen to have any recommendations for other channels? I'm a year late to this video but am glad I found ya! I'll be making my way through more of your content this week:)

Glad to hear from you again Dr Ruth Waiting for the next live!!

what do you do if you KNOW youre avoidant. im trying to be closer to my partner but thats all it feels like most of the time, effort. a task. I like em a lot.

Its neglectful traumatizing damaging to a woman and completely destroys her trust in men

Look at all of the misoginistic comments from men on these apps there are allot more than kind ones 😢😢😢😢

Just another way to attack women look at female sports another way to erase us😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

I was atacked on instagram from the whores on there for exposing it

Or replacing sex with watching your partner without your partners consent . yes it absolutely rewires. The brain and causes Escalated SICK behaviours

It isn't always coming from a lack of intimacy from the victim

Points on point. Make up on point. Low key stigma smashing on pooooint.

Great work

A psychologist KZbinr from the UK-please create more! Far too many "licensed therapists" from the USA with channels! A useful book regarding regret from a CBT perspective is "If Only...Finding Freedom From Regret" - R.Leahy 2022.

Thank you for helping us understand NPD

Thanks so much for your video! explains why feel so on edge and anxious at times in this new and healthy relationship that in. It was weird because at the beginning was swept away with excitement of all the dates but now that we are more settled , it feels strangely calm and it is like wait what this is how relationships can be, where you feel safe and secure… have to say have had to have proper conversations with my partner about my anxieties, so they are aware that I am working on it in therapy and also working on it personally, as sometimes get overly sensitive to comments or how the partner is acting. I think when you have been through any form of narcissistic and toxic abuse - it feels normal to be on that rollar Costa, and in a healthy relationship at times it can feel bit boring… but actually it is so much healthier and supports your mind and well-being. I would not trade this relationship for any narcissism and abuse that went through… thanks for this video as very reassuring to here that not alone and two you can have healthy and happy supportive relationships and friendships too!!

very smart approach

Or take your self respect and leave. No reason to stick around someone not loveable. Find someone who actually likes you.

Very helpful!

It’s sad that narcissist are such dysfunctional, evil, humans that they make everyone around them be in survival mode.

6:00 Yep! Narcissists have very low self esteem.

I’m an anxious attachment, but it seems only brought out by my current dismissive avoidant partner. In my previous relationship, I never needed reassurance, affirmation, endless affection, nothing. I was able to function quite fine with my independence and my ex-husband did his own thing as well. We weren’t intimately or financially compatible and that’s why the relationship ended. In my current relationship, the silent treatment, avoidant behavior sparked a monster alive in me. I wasn’t used to having a partner who avoided communication and resolution. It’s turned me into someone I don’t like. And I don’t have a fear of abandonment or losing him. In fact, some days I wish he’d walk away so I can keep our kids and move on in peace. I think I fear more-so that if he left, it’s going to confirm the fears I have about myself not being good enough. I would be much better off without this man’s emotional coldness.

These are not narcissists, and there is no recovery. giving people false hope is abuse and toxic positivity

Hes obsessed with his hair. Although i think its a good thing that he not only exposes himself, but he actually talks about his disorder. Not buying it though. This is all for his channel. He benefits from this. Hes making a monetary profit. He likes being in the limelight even under his therapist. Everything here is SUPPLY. He doesnt care that he carries the label NPD because getting supply is his priority. Hes like all other narcs. A vampire. In this case and by default, somehow ( or it appears to be) no one is getting hurt, depleted, or abused.

Thanks for the video but it will take me time before I can trust again after the narcissistic relationship I went through, I will in time :)

I don't find a KZbin channel for this person

Okay im only at 9 minutes in to this interview.. This is literally THE EFFIN BEST! MOST REAL INTERVIEW! Literally so good! Interview is with the lovley who has been medically diagnosed with NPD. Its a must watch if you appreciate optimism and harness a positive perspective. 😊❤ 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 💫 🌃 🌟 🤩 ⭐️ 🌠 ❤😊

Truly deeply depressing To witness, but I respect that he’s open.

Have you been in intimate close relationship with cluster B's yourself ? To be an expert you need both theory AND a lot of personal experience with being burnt by them.

their independence does not mean sleeping with other people btw 😂

What happened to the Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Did they devour him too?

I’m way too familiar unfortunately with isolating as a result of the narcissist’s smear campaign. I’m still struggling with depression and relentless flying monkeys

Anyone needing motivation to get out of this trap, pay attention: I didn't know the Dismissive Avoidant wasn't fighting for the relationship until it already cost me everything that mattered to me. My ex-DA let one of my cats escape out of spite. He lied to me about it (and still does), refused to do anything to help me find her, and she never came home. Then he plotted to move out without telling me months before our lease was up, owing me thousands of dollars. Two years later he contacted me to take the two kittens he had adopted-- that I raised-- so he could move to another state to be with his NEW girlfriend. I lost my baby because I let a DA into my life. I almost lost my apartment because I let a DA into my life. I had to intervene and help find homes to two innocent, traumatized and neglected animals he refused to let me keep when he left, only to discard them once they were no longer convenient-- because I let a DA into my life. Has he ever had a shred of remorse? No. So I respect the attachment style resources like Personal Development School (highly recommend) for helping me to understand and process my experience. But I will never let a DA anywhere near my life ever again. Nothing can redeem losing an innocent living being to wild coyotes because of some DA's petty vindictiveness. NOTHING. It is unforgiveable and he doesn't even care. The juice with DAs is never worth the squeeze, and the risk of giving them a chance could cost you everything.

I love learning about all this kind of things 😊

Sara genuinely wants to help others understand her disorders and debunk all the untruths. Shes open and raw. It takes a very brave person to do what shes doing. I really respect her.

I am both.Both Anxious and Aviodant. Then it gets really crazy. When I meet an anxious person I become avoidant and when I meet an avoidant I become anxious. But got hold of myself in 2021. Also because when I last met an avoidant, my body went on automatically and started to please people. Also see 50 years later. That this is the relationship I had with my anxious mother and people pleaser and my evasive father whom I did everything to be heard or seen. I will have to work with all my life. Get to know myself now. Because this is also a survivor programming. Even to never abandon myself either. Became an abandoholic. No more ever.

Throw in codependency and u get the reality that many of us were psychologically groomed to be this way. As children we had to accommodate others needs while fearing not getting our needs met. Now let’s think about the disorganized attachment which shifts from anxious to avoidant. Now u have a recipe for disconnection on both sides. Unfortunately I see both trying to get love without the fear of loosing the other person or yourself. Love can’t be cultivated without trust ! Trust is always a risk.

Men overall are moving to porn over these useless, disfunctional relationships. Also if you want a real conversation about narcissism and sex, go look at Sam Vaknin's work

Thank you Dr. Ruth. This has helped me. I’m going thru a very bad time of it,

If you can't read minds, and are prone to give grace because you know what suffering is, you, too can become an abuse victim, without even realizing it until its too late for you. EXPERIENCE

You seem to highlight the need for independence as the driving force for avoidant attachment but that’s not what I’ve learned. Pretty sure it’s mostly about getting close to people triggering emotional dysregulation, which cause them to shut down. Am I wrong?

I know I’m only seeing one side of her but she seems so humble for being a narcissist. Does a narcissist have to be exploitative and manipulative in a “negative” or hurtful way, in order to be considered a narcissist?