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(I re-uploaded this after making more edits and improving the subtitles)
This inspiring session, shared with full consent, is between two siblings who have been through extreme complex trauma and are now trying to rebuild their relationship. I hope it can inspire people to not give up on healing from trauma.
This session also highlights some of the foundational ways I work with trauma in a model I'm developing called Trauma Informed Engagement Strategies (TIES). The gist of it is to have a deep understanding of how trauma impacts behavior, relationships and coping, along with an attuned sensitivity to managing survival states of mind, and coaxing forth greater intentionality, clarity, compassion and vulnerability. Maybe some day, I'll have time to break down what I mean in greater detail...
TRIGGER WARNING (ABUSE): We discuss some very graphic and harrowing abuse.
0:00 Trigger Warning & Intro
0:23 Start of Session
0:31 Bro wants to maintain principles when triggered & Ham suggests focusing on compassionate curiosity
1:00 Ham discusses trauma and encourages him to ignore the anger and focus on the hurt
3:11 Sibs discuss their abuse history
5:56 Ham interrupts criticism with compassion
7:43 Bro cycles into escalation talking about little sister's disrespect
8:48 Ham interrupts escalation and pulls for poignancy
9:48 Ham interrupts escalation and asks for self-compassion
11:02 Ham reframes rejection as hurt
11:34 Sis invites forgiveness and authenticity about being survivors
17:23 Bro triggers sis with "Claims" and sis withdraws
19:40 Bro triggered by sis' withdrawal and shares his abuse and abandonment by sis
21:56 Ham helps bro pull pack and speak from his hurt
22:54 Ham helps bro realize he is triggered
23:17 Ham helps bro be compassionately curious about Sis
26:15 Ham invites compassion towards Bro's triggered reaction
30:08 Ham interrupts defensive explanations with heartache
31:47 Bro wraps up with levity
33:56 Ham turns to post-traumatic growth
35:54 Ham summarizes trauma and the brain again
40:01 Ham pulls for attachment
41:18 Ham reframes sis's abandonment as going to get help
44:08 Poetic Soldier