The opposite of trauma is SAFETY.

How do I internalize the mother care ? So that the traumatized child in me can move forward ?

I hate what the MCU did to him. They completely disrespected his character and his legacy. Truly breaks my heart

Very helpful to hear that the survival brain needs explicit information and cant accept ambiguity. Thank you. This makes sense for my students who have or are in trauma.

Which software did you use to make the animations?

So difficult with CPTSD to sync up internally in an environment that is unwittingly hostile to vulnerability and not supportive of authenticity. Empathy is key, but sometimes its a rare commodity. I watched your conversation with Forrest Hanson and I want to thank you for... for going so very deep into what we are and taking all this on yourself.

I have cpstd and bpd. Working on it for 30 years. It's never easy. Not anymore.

Learning Mode Downside: Poor Me/Poor Me Survival Mode Upside: Just Keep Walking🎸INXS

Sounds true - feels true - thank you

thank u humann

I was with that baby for 1.5 years and I really felt empathy for her and wanted to help but she never understood and pushed me away all the time

This is so spot on! I can't put into words how revelatory this is. Feels like I've finally found the beginning of the right path or right way to think about emotions, feelings, trauma and the human condition!

Thank you Dr. Ham for sharing this. It is really incrediable and deeply touching me, even though I am not your patient, with similar situation to this sibiling I even felt great acknowledged about my own agency, freedom and my own efforts striving for survival.❤Thank you so much

16:39 Yes! I’ve been processing my trauma and this was what I believed to as well. The safe space is an authentic space where we are upfront with how we feel. And i want that when im talking with people. Whenever I smell BS that just shuts me up. But when people just say out what they feel im ok. I only noticed this a few day ago. This sums up what ive been processing really well.

It helped a lot, thank u !

But what if because we are hyper attuned we are picking up on actual danger. Or someone that is actually unsafe. Like how do I know the difference between me being over protective of self and me picking up on actual threat?

Thank you. I only just discovered your channel after watching you on the Forrest Hanson channel. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

What he really talks about is being a compassionate witness. When I first shared my pain from being raped with my therapist, she sat there in different. I felt so unseen lost I think it retraumatized me to finally feel vulnerable enough to share, and to be left hanging with no compassion. I think the guy from IFS talks about that as well like where therapists are trained to be this blank slate when in reality what trauma survivors need is a compassionate witness, like this man.

Oops

Been in survival mode for most of my 60+ years. No living, no go with the flow but control mode to keep myself safe. That is not a way to live, sadly..

Great insight in this video.

This is so valuable, thank you. It captures what you might want to say to explain what you mean by being trauma informed, and it gives instructions. I hope you write a book.

I just discovered your book, it is wonderfully painful and healing, thank you very much Stephanie

Im not sure I follow exactly what his therapy approach is. Love Stephanies book though

beautifully said

My Lord： Please wipe away my tears.....

Thank you so much🙏

You are the most intelligent human being. I have so many recollections, both personal, and as a witness to the neglect of others.

Is EMDR help to start healing from complex ptsd. Or is talk therapy best.. is online help as effective as in person. Thank you Karen

This was a beautiful discussion.

It makes so much sense. You explained, very well, something that is difficult to explain. It seems to be something you know when you witness it in another person, or experience it for yourself.

I'm so grateful to have come across this person, at a time when I'm really trying to get to grips with a whole heap of accumulated trauma. His compassionate approach has made me realise what I most need is not to intellectually search for some master key to understand all my obstacles and behaviours, but recognition and compassion. Thank you!

school is so weird because one day you could be at a funeral mourning your father and the next day youre expected to be in class and perform the same as everyone else

This conversation makes me feel very agitated and very curious and hooked at the same time. The ending was quite difficult to watch too. I'm not sure why. It is as if I'm watching multiple versions of Grace in the room, each version kept interrupting each other and she rarely finished a thought... she seemed to have justified her feelings and thoughts with lots of unnecessary details. She tries to show that she's up for being vulnerable but then proceeded to not being vulnerable. I feel all kinds of agitation and also compassion watching this. Maybe this says more about me and it's really intriguing. Thank you both.

Thanks for bring art to science and thanks for sharing your work. Huge impact and very validating as I move through my healing journey. Love and health to you and yours.

I found Ham infuriating at times. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Or is it? 🤔

I had a therapist tell me I was boring him, therefore I wasn't telling him the truth. I insisted I was. He doubled down. I never went back to him. I was a wreck the way he talked to me.

watching that baby elephant smiling and dancing around on two legs was very enjoyable

ca. 3:30 the best way to keep students in learning mode

What an inspiring and powerful experience. Thank you for sharing.

Two years ago I wouldn’t have understood most of this magical interview. But then I crossed paths with the most gifted therapist who is similar to Dr Ham in being instinctively led while highly trained. For the first time in my late forties I’ve begun to trust that somebody is on my team and really cares about me getting better. I worry very much for those who can’t afford therapy or stay stuck with the wrong therapist. But things are changing fast and I hope to see this change happen in my lifetime. Stephanie’s memoir is so affirming and Dr Ham is single handedly changing therapy as a profession.

Wait organizations are trying to be trauma informed? I’ve worked the last six years in a trauma generation and amplification organisation. The most toxic forms of masculinity, entitlement, invalidation etc etc. I’m leaving, wish me luck. Just the thought that this question exists out there, on how to make organisations trauma informed, makes me feel hopeful.

i love Dr Jacob.. as a cis gay man and human.. going to ur therapy sessions (even if im in indonesia right now)... is one of my delusional fantasies haha. thank you for being human, dr Jacob <3 i kinda 100% empathise with stephanie's case, but in my case im chinese indonesian haha. but similar trauma .. and frustrating trial-and-error attempts with trying to heal my heart and body and (soul) haha.

Why can’t we all have a Dr. Ham as our counselors better yet someone like him as parents then we wouldn’t need counselors? 😞

Love it❤

this conversation is beautiful! thank you!

Thank you so much, Dr. Ham! I am going to use this as part of a webinar on trauma for the University of Hawai'i, along with "Trauma Informed Starts with You". I appreciate your work!

Dr. Ham, what you said really touches my heart. I don't know why, but I will think about it in my life.

Dr. Ham is so introspective and kind I have a sweet therapist like him and who is vegan like me so he understands my dark pain over the millions of animals daily tortured every day 😞💚🙏 And his glasses are so shiny and clear; I can’t keep mine clear.

Its so true - it is a lot of bullshit & I came to this broadcast looking for guidance, and I am feeling more helpless because what I am hearing is there is no getting over this fucken pain I am in and crying over & over is not the life I want to live