What an IxxP REALLY wants (but won't tell you) INTP ISTP INFP ISFP

[@ReinhardMcKinky]

People are tiring. Thoughts are energizing. Fe can wait. -INTP

[@richeeg3271]

One of these moments for me was when I was watching one of objective personality vids ad Dave said something on the lines of "you ARE RESPONSIBLE for how whatever you are doing emotionally affects other" (Fe) and I was like bruh you gotta be kidding me.. F that 😐🤣 nah but fr, one of the biggest realizations for me was that the fact that I am annoying other ppl is not bc I am something not good enough, that I didn't work hard enough or whatever, it was that I didn't even take into consideration what THEY want from a friend... like you gotta stop asking these questions yourself, but to them. 🤦🤦 I thought I was going to find out what THEY want by asking MYSELF... omg I never felt so dumb and blind, just looking in the completely wrong direction.. the "IxxP trap" is real..

[@MyRUTH98]

Fe can wait....🤣🤣🤣🤣 Istp here.... Very true.

[@robloxkorbloxbacon]

I make any bet with you, that you are lead Fi.

[@richeeg3271]

@@robloxkorbloxbacon yeah to an INTP people aren't tiring, unless they need to be emotionally taken care of lol. If the convo is very Fe easy, I doubt it'd be tiring

[@robloxkorbloxbacon]

Most people are ISFPs(they even have all the exact same animals). I always wonder how Dave & Shan get all these different types.

[@derrickbarney8731]

Sooo tell me what I want, what I really, really want.

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmao 😆👽

[@Sarahenfj]

Yes! I was hoping someone would say this

[@blacat2168]

I'll tell you what you want, what you really really want!

[@jeongna]

@@blacat2168 I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA ZIG A ZIG AH

[@xRevTheoryx]

Three main rules 1 leave them alone 2 don't expect them to follow social norms 3 let them express their imagination

[@arielavalos7514]

How is the Imagination (Ni) of an ISXP like? - INFP 9 926 SX

[@J11_boohoo]

@@arielavalos7514 I asked an ISTP and she said she really didn’t value her imagination as she focused more on reality

[@chad8117]

"you don't have to earn your way to having an emotional connection with someone" **Ouch**

[@InternetLiJo]

🖤 just give in to the chemicals it’s ok

[@richeeg3271]

Yeah, using Di in De situations is such a dumb idea, yet it's the default way all IxxPs work.. We literally wonder why there is no emotional connection with someone, when we are looking for it in our selfs (but like it's in the other person, by just getting out of your damn mind (lovely ofc) you'll find the answers..) (and yes this is something that wasn't obvious to me 😐

[@richeeg3271]

This really got me thinking, do ExxJs think they'll find who they are, what they want etc by asking other ppl? (If yes then for the love of God somebody help them! like asap)

[@wildchicken679]

Woah. I feel called out. I acknowledged this myself but never admitted it to anyone. Wanting to become something for somebody else combined with the fear of mediocrity and I am constantly having anxiety about all the things I could be but am not. Juggling hobbies and work and side projects is exhausting :l

[@eliramsby]

I feel like this is something i needed to hear , Fi is sometimes selfish and hyper-introspective. I get so wrapped up in my own world and universe, It’s important to note that what works for me and what I agree with isn’t always what works for anyone. Surrendering to the self is the best advice an IXXP could get. thanks Lindsay. ❤️ - an INFP

[@anonymouse394]

Fi dom here. I guess that's why it's really hard for me to formulate an answer to the usual interview question of "What can you contribute to the organization/company/anything". How I wish I could just respond with "I really like what your organization/company/anything does and therefore I will have determination to work hard because of my passion". But that's not a good answer...

[@InternetLiJo]

Wow yes great integrative example! If someone asked me that I would look at first where the company needs the greatest level of support/hands on deck. Then I would think about how my skill set would be an asset to that area in particular.

[@mantecada5660]

My Fe feels for you, bro

[@andychau3522]

This ISFP is interested in knowing what he really wants!

[@ColotJrAlex]

Im an intp that also don't know what i want

[@popkhorne5372]

So is the intp.

[@mariek.474]

As someone with high Fe, this video made me notice and admire the authenticity / individualism of these types. Keep being awesome IxxPs !

[@InternetLiJo]

Right? I think the same!

[@ChristopherWaddelow]

Just like any type, it is nice when it is nice, but IxxPs can be really difficult too.

[@Cstank5]

Thankyou miss high Fe. Your Fe is looking lovely today might I say.

[@mariek.474]

@@Cstank5 LOL you're welcome !

[@richeeg3271]

[@G_Demolished]

INTP wants answers before tomorrow!

[@dppool456]

As a Ti dom, it can be really frustrating because you want to help people because of Fe inferior, but if you surrender to the tribe a lot of things are going to happen that don´t make sense and may not actually help people. It´s a tough balance.

[@InternetLiJo]

It is a tough balance 😬

[@EvilMeganium]

Idk why but describing other people (or group) as tribe makes me feel like we're in hunger games

[@messinalyle4030]

INFP here. Ideally you'll find a tribe that shares enough of your values that you won't have to take this advice too often. Doing it too often will get you out of touch with your own values.

[@GuideToFreight]

This.

[@senantiasa]

"...the INFPs/ISFPs are going to want to be useful to the tribe..." - mindblown! (didn't know that MBTI could account for such things)

[@ForeverFashionGirl21]

Bold of you to assume I know what I even want

[@MunthApollo]

When you said IxxPs want respect, that struck home to me personally. I'm going to try what you've suggested, although some of it went over my head haha. I'm not very active in the MBTI world so I forget some of the terms sometimes, but I managed well. I just had to think a lot instead of mindlessly listening. Also, I'm thankful this wasn't about what we want romantically. I'm so sick of that kind of advice. Sometimes when trying to find self help, a lot of the answers turn up to be about romance, but I could care less about that sort of thing these days. I just want to know how to improve myself.

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahah yeah I’m not much of a romance channel. Glad it was useful!

[@Eridanus0001]

There may also be the situation where the IxxP perhaps recognizes that the original or existing tribe doesn't offer much - and then begin seeking a more constructive tribe to belong to. It doesn't have to be a severing of connection but perhaps recognizing limited connection for what it is and prioritizing or reprioritizing finding positive connection elsewhere. Just a thought.

[@BlueHazyDreams]

Exactly. Why do I want to be a part of a tribe that doesn't value diversity? For functions that supposedly deal with what works/is valuable to "everyone," they really fail to realize that the majority still leaves a lot of people out. Finding these alternative tribes is so so valuable when you feel alone because you are accepting of more than just the majority and you try to see things from many different perspectives, but the main tribe won't do the same for you.

[@diyab1056]

Your analysis is amazing. I'm an INTJ with an INTP bro, this makes complete sense to me regarding how they think, and will help me help them and understand them better. Thanks!

[@InternetLiJo]

Yay understanding!

[@willywonka6948]

So, as an INTP I'm supposed to value what I perceive everybody else values? But what if they're wrong? And how can I pretend to value something that I don't?

[@InternetLiJo]

You don’t have to pretend at all, or value it yourself. All you have to do is acknowledge that the Fe in that case is real, and know if you want to resonate with the tribe on that level, understanding how they value X thing is a part of that.

[@InternetLiJo]

Also not just your perception. You actually have to gather the data, ask, research, find out objectively.

[@TheGenxennial]

The Oompa Loompas welcome you to the land of 'growing up atheist in a christian bubble' land, @Willy Wonka

[@G.S.7981]

Sometimes you got to turn your "why" to "how". Yes, they could be wrong, but does it really matter that much for yourself as you already know what's right? What you really want is being respected. Sharing your insight of things is only one of the many ways that could help you to achieve it.

[@farizanroslan]

You probably know that other people can't accept straight answers and truth, by experience. I'm guessing, we need to to drop clues and hints that leads to the conclusion that we want them to. In other words, teach them how to find the answer and keep the answers to ourselves. Whilst not losing our own values, we need to accept their values as well. Agreeing to disagree, so to say. Don't worry, we do not need to lie, we just need to choose what and how to say things. For example, reporting our strategy in a business meeting how to amass profit and fast profit turnover whilst what we want is brand loyalty and market penetration or even better cultural changes. Or telling our students getting good grades appeals to good career prospects whilst the true notion of our assignments are discipline, thinking abilities and even better, personality training. Just my 2cents. Oh, getting back to the video, we need to surrender the objective of getting people to say to our face that we're right. Instead, we need to be contend with people can be right as well, even if not most of the time. Give people advices, sure. Don't expect them to show you the results of the actions they undertaken due to your shared thoughts and be grateful to you. Just let it go.

[@adamwesselinoff126]

Married to an INFP - this episode will be essential viewing

[@atomiccritter6492]

treat them well

[@christalphelps6186]

Ah! This was fantastic! I think IXXPs are a difficult type to analyze from the outside because of the Di. But this was such a great way of looking at their want for tribe validation!

[@Acumen928]

This was really great, the reminder i needed, as an INTP. Although the thought of Fe-ing instead of Ti-ing is making me ill.

[@glueball214]

Holy c2a9 batman. That was phenomenal. I am reading comments as I am listening and the feedback staggering. Next chance I get I am seeing if you have one for INTJs. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@InternetLiJo]

Yeee 😎

[@tillywontspeak]

The "surrender" is a good word, that probably goes for all the types.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yes it applies to everyone slightly differently 👽

[@lilianaaquevequepajarito5170]

I know I don't listen, and that I've always wanted to be understood more than to understand others. Very refreshing video! Thanks 💞

[@InternetLiJo]

Glad you saw something in it for you 🖤

[@zlatanibrahimovicisbettert7980]

are you that girl from intp parody videos?

[@CuddleClaw.]

Surrendering myself as an ISTP Enneagram 4, that’s an ongoing struggle. I do really want to have close meaningful relationships, but I also kinda don’t, besides that one person that can fulfill all my intellectual/social/physical/intimacy needs. Ti is definitely my identity and if someone shits all over my thoughts/ideas or doesn’t want my help, I feel triggered. I definitely try to “earn” trust, love, and loyalty.

[@ilcapitanoalexandr8698]

Great influence from OP. Superb

[@teddypicker7458]

I really like these videos where you explain a concept or occurrence using the functions. Have missed them!

[@InternetLiJo]

😎 they are my fav! They don’t always work for the tribe though lmao 😂

[@marvellpower]

I like the new curlsss!!!

[@fivehead]

me, a ti dom, currently building 1000 different skillsets so people will like me, but never actually talking to anyone: 0.0 lmao. but seriously every part of me wants to oppose this idea, which means it's something im totally blind to and will probably help a lot. thanks for this.

[@lukerobertson6927]

Great video. Sometimes we (INFP) need to hear cold hard truth. With age I’m adjusting my values to incorporate group harmony, forcing myself to develop Te and fight the urge to only go with my gut feeling every time

[@4thNebula]

Nice ideas. I have to agree with the INFPs often being interesting in doing something that the Tribe considers not useful. However, one point, as Steve Jobs said (paraphrased) sometimes the Tribe needs to be told what they like. I have been doing a lot of "thinking" along these lines. Strange for INFPs it seems-what happens to interest Ne and what Fi values very often has nothing to do with what is useful.

[@drinkmewonder7536]

Thank you for the fresh perspective :) I am really reliant on having positive feedback from “the tribe”; I want to be needed, liked, be seen as a good person. Actually it’s why I have at times doubted I’m INFP because I figured I couldn’t be a Fi dominant user because I do feel at times enslaved to getting respect from others, to being useful to them. However having “the tribe” on my radar is anxiety inducing. I know deep down I need to honour my own needs too and I do feel safer, more sane, by being by myself, but then feel guilt, like I SHOULD be doing for others. It’s a double edged sword. I have considered I’m an IXFJ since I have “the tribe” on my radar which I did wonder if that was Fe auxiliary. I do strive to have inner peace despite external chaos (which I believe was mentioned in the IJ video as being a key need). That said, my inner peace is more along the lines of having physical safety, of having my loved ones protected and safe, or having self trust that whatever drama there is and emotional upset there is that everything will be ok, that I will cope. Though overall I would say I have more of a complex with my place in the world and “the tribe” than myself controlling the world. For example I’m often measuring myself up to external standards I.e. first kiss by 16, loose virginity at 18, get a house, well paying job that is meaningful and inspiring, find a partner, have a life together etc. Standards I’m not reaching and feeling inferior about not being the same as my peers, “the tribe”, like there’s something weird and wrong with me. The thing I’ve learnt though is that no one is really sitting there dwelling on me and what I have achieved or not achieved so far. Or if they are then they aren’t my type of people that I should concern myself with. And I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone else for still being a virgin at 28 and living at home with a job that pays ok but doesn’t feel meaningful. There is often a battle in my mind of honouring my inner experience and staying true to myself vs fitting in with “the tribe” and being a good member to them.

[@bradwilliams7198]

This is really good, Lindsay! I (INTP) have actually consciously thought earlier in my life "If I can just do/make/accomplish X, people will like/love/respect me." Of course I never said this out loud, nor did I know anything about psychology at the time. And, if I did happen to succeed in X, it never seemed to quite generate the reaction from the tribe that I'd hoped. So, now that you've figured out IxxP's what will be your next INTJ evil genius move? ;)

[@InternetLiJo]

I’m just glad I could communicate something that was real for you :) the rest shall remain a mystery

[@bananewane1402]

bro whats the type where you're just like "yeah no one will love me, I'm not even gonna try" and then when someone expresses affection for you you actually cry because you weren't expecting it I'm that type

[@bradwilliams7198]

INFP, maybe?

[@dcarze9]

INFP: I have an amazing idea! Tribe: Yeah... that makes no sense INFP: It's perfect, you just don't get it yea. It's ok, I'll be here to help when you have been enlightened as I have😁 Tribe: ....

[@4biddenflow]

So relatable as an INFP haha

[@omermanjo7459]

My reaction: [[Damn...I'm never telling y'all anything ever again 🤬🤬🤬]]

[@jazzmaradermedia3550]

I am an ISTP and I took way too long trying to come up with a well-thought-out comment that basically boils down to, I don't get why people keep saying that IxTPs have to give up their own identity for the sake of how the "tribes" feels towards us. I would rather value that I am doing my job over worrying about how everyone feels about all the damn time. It just isn't in my nature to care in that way all the god damn time.

[@squali1930]

Hey I'm Fi, but I am grateful for you, the way you put things is soooo much more digestable and nowhere near as hurtful as I've heard before. It makes 100% sense that my very personal and subjective passion is not necessarily useful to the tribe. Just because I really love it doesn't mean it's of any use to other people.

[@PhotoRubio]

The thing about a subject matter "hitting home" is, now people know your address... Coming to and understanding of yourself or being understood by others can create a feeling of deep exposure and or relief. We must decide which it is and how to put either of those to good use for the betterment of ourselves and in turn those around us.

[@ANDROMEDAtheartist]

Still trying to convince myself that the tribe is worth my time though? (INFP)

[@InternetLiJo]

Sometimes they are not and that’s ok. However sometimes they are and in those situations it’s good to know how to navigatw

[@ANDROMEDAtheartist]

@@InternetLiJo That's very thought provoking and I think it does sound accurate. It's helpful to hear a different perspective. I see myself seeking individuality so often and I keep trying to navigate "the tribe." I'll be following along for more!

[@samwilcox10]

INTP and can confirm we want respect and to be valuable to tribe. Nothing is more frustrating or painful than feeling like the tribe looks down on you and doesn't take your reasoning and logic seriously.

[@InternetLiJo]

Yeahhh I know 😫 the pain is this weird level of “real” to you all regarding people in that way.

[@samwilcox10]

@@InternetLiJo I think sometimes it is because we have such a hard time seeing the other side of the coin; seeing what the tribe sees. So we end up needing affirmation, praise, and respect because then it's being confirmed by the tribe 'YES this is good to act this way your Di is right!'. And when people tell you 'no you messed up that's wrong the tribe hates that', it feels extra horrible because it's a direct blow to the inferior De. 😭

[@samwilcox10]

TLDR; We take everything too personally because we don't see anything from tribe perspective.

[@willywonka6948]

Who wouldn't want respect and to feel valuable?

[@samwilcox10]

@@willywonka6948 Everyone does but especially IxxP I think. Types with lead De seem to know their place in the tribe and already understand their value in it. They don't need to really be told tho it is nice. Lead Di and inferior De types have little clue where they stack in the tribe and so they need to be told they're valuable because they're unsure.

[@polishmeow8298]

I've been considering to become a doctor because of that!!! Because I want to feel I'm useful! Omg you just read my mind. Something I couldn't guarantee in the field of accounting or business because I know in business, when you're not being contributory, you'll have to be replaced. Get ready to be criticized and handle objectivity because it's purely business. You won't also be given thanks but a job well done. Recording, I couldn't exactly feel the essence of it despite knowing its use. But if I pursue to become a doctor, having to directly impact others and solving someone's concern thru advisory and them probably thanking me, I'm genuinely happy and of use. It's weird but I've been considering it for a while. -yep your infp sub

[@InternetLiJo]

Ah so cool to hear this from an INFP perspective, thank you!

[@chlldavefromsd7862]

Very interesting. I think tribe validation is a pipe dream. I feel I need to value and validate myself and keep doing curls with my T. Rex Fe arms, then I can try to value and listen to others.

[@spring7643]

I know IxxPs who want to create stuff to heal people's souls, I wonder how common that is for other IxxPs 🤔

[@InternetLiJo]

The theme of the self identity having the "answer" I think is common. :)

[@PhotoRubio]

(Self diagnosed INFP) The environment in my head and reality is "the thing" I have to offer. Yes it is kinda secluded, yes I need to get out more, but it has a way of being detected by those who are seeking to make it for themselves. People who vibe or want to vibe however they perceive me. I pay my bills so that I can play music and think deeply. Some people align with that to find respite.

[@SurfItable]

@@InternetLiJo when i'll recognize "I have the answer" tought while beeing unrecognized by tribe i'll remember bout this comment heh get back to 👂I guess

[@coreyroberts47]

Fo sho with me. I'm all, but mom, metalheads need to know the restorative and healing power of hope in this fallen world, through the eyes of the infinite! And shes like but you gotta buy your meds too 😋

[@laisrodrigues8592]

As an ISFP, this is relatable

[@squali1930]

I Love, love love this video as an INFP. Pay attention to what works objectively, YES!!!!

[@bigtimbolim]

The analysis is so spot on! I think for months listening to other people (usually complaints) to collect and organize thoughts into ideas that I think are really, genuinely useful and then share it with the world to see what they think and get downvoted! Every time! lol Pretty sure Jordan Peterson is also an IXXP. Gee, some tribesmen REALLY don't like what HE's doing.

[@InternetLiJo]

He’s Ti that’s for sure lmao

[@richy3417]

Very helpful and horrible at the same time! Thanks I see the tribe fighting against their own safety during the pandemic, in favour of comfort, convenience and money. Completely willing to risk their own wellbeing and that of others, to have their own short term needs met. And I confess I'm a bit lost. Because of personal health issues, I've been stuck in isolation at home for four years now, and with the best will in the world, I can't but look at the selfish, soft and irresponsible behaviour of the tribe with anything but complete disdain. Yet I realise, if I'm to come back from my illness and rebuild my life again, I'll have to find a way to connect with people I have lost all respect for. I remind myself of what a Swedish minister said about Swedish farmers in the lead up to WWII: "We'll have to do something for the farmers, or they'll become Nazis". He was able to separate the dark side of his constituents' animalistic instincts, and stick to working on their behalf. That's more than I'm capable of at the moment, but I'm working on it. Good luck to us all.

[@AS-jq4lb]

no known health issues here but struggling with this too! some people have already disappeared from my life, working very hard to keep those who remain 😞

[@absmith4724]

Thanks LiJo!. As an INTP I totally agree with this. Ti = wants to be valued by the tribe :)

[@FuzzCulture]

Four tet playing ! Nice :) - ENTP

[@SARKEK]

I want to know if IxFJs can read what I'm feeling through my resting robot face. -INTP

[@adamwesselinoff126]

INFJs are the best interpreters of Intps

[@Bookooky]

I'm not IxFJ (I'm ENFJ) but yes, pretty much. I can see INTP thinking/processing, excitement, or annoyance, etc. It's not very difficult, it just takes attunement.

[@SARKEK]

@@Bookooky But.........my mask....🙁

[@snudgegalbraith3447]

@ Adam Wesselinoff False.

[@eyniit297]

Yes, we can read your emotion, although we don't know the reason behind it. Often we will try to speak or act to bring harmony. In my personal experience, FI (especially INTJs) are more difficult to read, but when we are close with the person and in full Ni/Fe mode with we may feel their feelings to the point we think its ours. And then happens the aha moment when Ti applies logic to our emotions and we realize that they are from other people.

[@arielavalos7514]

IPs are no sheeps. We will negotiate acting like one to get benefits from society. - INFP 9 926 SX

[@banerjeekaran]

Thank you Lindsay. As an INTP, this was really useful.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thanks for validating my Te 🤗

[@someabstractsnack8151]

man, i was thinking about this 10 mins ago, and making some theories of what IxxPs really wish to see, and here i see your video in my recommendations. -insomniac INFP

[@TK-kf8zc]

This is great advice. Sometimes we are so reluctant to give up our personal values we think we should just change tribes!

[@mohamedtamer9837]

I'm excited to know what I really want lol /INFP.

[@InternetLiJo]

Lol I’m just exposing what you already know 😉

[@mohamedtamer9837]

@@InternetLiJo I still don't get how to be useful

[@farrex0]

@@mohamedtamer9837 Be more open to sharing your insights and opinions, put yourself out there, share your art, or find a passion that revolves around your values and devote yourself to it. But in the process be prepared to receive a bit of push back (naturally), but as an ENTP I have been talking with several INFPs and they are very afraid to put themselves out there, but they have so much to offer. They had a very skewed image of how competent they are, usually valuing their worth towards the tribe way lower than it usually is as to how much they can offer. Many of them hide away after the first sign of resistance from the tribe, but know there will be resistance regardless if you try or not, just know that most of the time it is not with bad intentions and learn to know when that "resistance from the tribe" is actual constructive criticism and take it, try to learn from it. So it is just matter of getting out of your comfort zone, putting yourself out there, try and actually achieve your values and surround yourself with people that both challenges you and supports you. You wont get good if you do not do it, so it will be hard at the start, but doing it is the only way you can achieve it. And if you do not have the skills or experience, do not worry you will get it in the process, but go for what you value and be open to the tribe (you can be open about discussing your values and taking the feedback in consideration) but that doesn't mean you have to give away your values or that you will have to compromise, just learn to listen and if the tribe truly is right you might learn something, and if it is not you will at least not antagonize them. You INFPs are amazing people, and it hurts me to see how little you value your potential, but of course your competence will never be known if you do nothing, so you just have to start doing and competence will come from experience.

[@PhotoRubio]

@@farrex0 Yes, YeS, YES!! - Make a public social media account. Ramble words, display art, play music, but most importantly EXPRESS YOURSELF! - I did, and it's been life altering.

[@dianadias3]

Yeah, because we never do..

[@naaberfindmoi2791]

YESSS. BRING IT OOON

[@kensyecho]

Hi. Thank you for sharing this insight. I think I really need it, even though just by imagining what I need to do already makes me feel so uncomfortable, lol. As if I have to give up a huge part of me. But, you have a good point there and I think deep down I know that that's what I need to do in the end. So, once again, thank you very much :) (I'm sorry for the grammar mistake) ---an INFP

[@ANGEL-eh6pd]

Great video. My youngest son is INTP, and thus information will be useful. Love your hair too.

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you!

[@rebeccaritter]

I hope the exxjs are next! Great video!!

[@InternetLiJo]

They are next!

[@Overlordgaming91]

I feel like I'm a strange INFP with an unusual situation in regards to tribe and self. I suspect my dad is a INTP, with his Ti he always had my Curiosity going and really got my Te working hard from a young age. My mom is INFP, she didn't really do anything to help me improve, but my dads second wife who helped raised me is an ENFJ i think. so the ENFJ has been hounding me about how selfish I am for years and I learned to value what others value, My Dad Pushed me to use more and more critical thinking and to value thinking first before acting, but now i am almost 30, have been spending my life following what the outside world says I should be doing, failing at it because I have no passion for what the world wants from me, squandered my passions away, and feel so lost trying to find the path back to doing what I wanted when I was younger.... My Te has been filtering my Fi's actions for a long time saying things like " how you feel about this doesn't matter, you have to do things your don't want to do" that slowly turned into doing what I want is bad it seems... no one ever mentions this, but sometimes, the tribe is fucking stupid, they don't know what is good for you, only whats is good for them, I died to myself and now I'm just empty inside and only full of regrets. I'm trying to go back to the passionate feeling I had for my hobbies when I was younger and trying and get that fuel back but that is not easy as it was when I was younger. those feelings were intense. and anything the tribe has to offer is anything but intense... so mundane. get a 9-5 job, play it safe, do what your told, are you hung up on a conviction at your job? put that away and do it the way you were told to do it regardless if it feels right or wrong. you have a creative perspective or solution? get use to being told its risky and stupid or just doesn't fit in here. I wish I chose to ignore the tribe instead of dieing to myself I wish I just dove in deep into the things I care(d) about( art and music) eventually with mastery others would have grown to value it and it could have been a good career. I'm not pessimistic, I can still accomplish my goals. its just going to be way harder now. the lesson your trying to convey would probably bee good to be learned at about 27. I learned it at like 15. I guess when you learn a lesson is more important than the lesson itself sometimes...

[@Overlordgaming91]

Or a TLDR, If your INFP don't sacrifice Authenticity for the sake of the Tribe, you will only make yourself a worse tool.

[@user-vw6xp5nl6t]

What people don’t tell you is that Te is actually about boundaries in the objective world. What you need is self respect by establishing lines in the sand with the tribe. This preserves a safe space for Your Fi to sit. In a box of your own creation.

[@alitab8369]

I can relate to some extent... it is like there is always a Te filter in the back of your head ( i like this, but is this useful for the world?) you can never really be yourself 100% because you think it is a waste to like something that is not useful in society. It could be because we value being useful too much? Or maybe it is a trauma response mecanism

[@Overlordgaming91]

@Ebi and Pumpkin I just a few minutes ago heard a Carl Jung quote " Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research." they gave some examples that most masters didn't really show any promise at all till they hit 40's. I was feeling like I lost so much time and if you felt the same I hope this empowers you because it definitely made me feel better. life hasn't passed us by , we are still doing research!

[@Overlordgaming91]

@Milkyway AllDay something's are falling into place for me, I'm making progress towards independence. Have flexible work that is not very serious, where I'm in control of my hours. Purchasing a RV to help escape this ridiculous housing market we have where I live. Savings account is growing( for some equipment for digital art to be used for business idea I have) I'm not where I wanna be but I'm definitely progressing in the right direction. I was feeling down but having to remember where I was 5 months ago I feel encouraged again, thanks for checking in. How about you?

[@myisfpjourney7813]

Great video. I’m glad I found your channel.

[@petercarlson3755]

Very valuable Lijo! Good on you for sharing this mini series of what types want and how it works. Should help us all know Ourselves better, if we own it, use this awareness to grow and make something of it.

[@samwilcox10]

Dude I just wanna be left alone 😂

[@InternetLiJo]

Lol mmmhmmm SURE

[@kelceypete4502]

Right about now..... same dude. INFP-T

[@samwilcox10]

@@InternetLiJo I hate and love you see thru that🤣

[@samwilcox10]

@Has Goodles Ye that's pretty accurate

[@mintyfey7207]

There is a point to this video, it's advisable to question your ways and compare it to what others are doing. However, I think the theory is off. As Fi dom what makes me happy is being me. Doing things like the tribe might make every member of the tribe like (/respect) me but there's no point if it's not me but because of me mimicking others? That sounds like an Fe dom's life goal.

[@InternetLiJo]

So yes what you are describing is the default nature. The obvious Fi thing to see. Being “useful” targets your Te. The thing you do least with the tribe. But also as you grow thing thing that will pull most on you.

[@rubyfarrell7233]

LiJo I LOVE YOU!

[@InternetLiJo]

😍

[@Sarahenfj]

As an IP and consume first, it's my job to watch every video about us lol

[@InternetLiJo]

😍

[@sethdossett1304]

if you could consolidate and Blast all that you've learned that would be great for all of us haha Or maybe I should do that lol

[@juice_lime5114]

So accurate, thanks for it XD

[@qgp]

thank you ),: i needed to hear this

[@evaanjos]

girl, you need to make a video like this on ExxJs!

[@InternetLiJo]

check my premiering video for tomorrow ;)

[@evaanjos]

​@@InternetLiJo wooop she delivers!

[@demogorgon4244]

there are levels to this. somebody who just got into typology and young? sure, they need the inferior function from others. that's why socionics calls it "dual-seeking function". carl jung, before socionics, called it anima/animus concept. and even before carl jung, schopenhauer said very similar things from a physical pov in his famous "metaphysics of love". things like if you are skinny, you are kind of sexually attracted to full-bodied. if you are short, you are attracted to tall etc. etc. why? so you can produce a normalized baby. i call this "debugging yourself via sex". so there's psychological aspect of that too. introverts attracted to extraverts and thinkers to feelers. inferior function, according to jung is the id. and id is not ego. so what id wants is actually what your instincts wants. and sure, instincts are a part of us but is it really what i want? what is i? my ego? my id? or is it me going beyond those, unlocking shadow functions and transcending beyond the default settings? as an entp i am much more interested with fi (my polr) than si. in fact, a relationship i start just because the girl is an si user would feel like i' am using her for maid services. i feel like there's a ton more for me to learn from fi. and that is true for everyone. for example, i see you as a person who is trying to develop fe. this youtube channel can be seen as a manifestation of that.

[@m_hall]

Wanting "respect from the tribe" is interesting to think about. How do you think respect plays into how we perceive others? As an intp, I think I've discovered that respect is really important for me to be attracted to a person. I guess respect is universally a quality of attraction. It's hard to love someone you don't respect on a emotional, spiritual, or even physical level. Paired with unrealistic expectations or judgement is a recipe for disaster. So I'm trying to work on not being so critical👌🏻

[@chickletmonstah]

Thanks 🙏 this was very useful. -INFP

[@InternetLiJo]

😭🖤

[@charliecastillo2011]

Currently studying to become a teacher. Definitely still learning how to differentiate for my students to cater to their needs. - INFP

[@writerducky2589]

Great video, and yeah, wanting respect/being valuable/useful, definitely. I always thought I was weird for wanting attention, but also not wanting to be the center of attention? I’ve also always been aware of this craving, figuring I was just a very selfish person. If I saw another kid being praised for something I considered myself good at, I would want some of that praise too, but usually not express it, or I’d (try) express it in a subtle/sneaky way. Probably also why I identify as enneagram 5, trying to find that one thing I’m better at than anyone else so I’ll have a definite, useful place in the tribe I can’t be kicked out of. Eventually the tendencies have diminished with age, awareness and just having good friends, though they’ll likely never go completely away. On a different note, I’ve never understood the depiction of lead Di's "refusing" to or being somehow unable to work with the tribe, but that could just be my demon feminine De talking 😅 Again, great video!

[@timshipman2671]

Im recently diagnosed intj i just gotta say before i pop o know your married hope not too inappropriate but youre beautiful first hubby a lucky dude second love your passion to convey useful information that i know you use to improve us as humans (haha) in this community we call life ✌🎅 happy holidays!

[@nora_8080]

You hit the nail on the head

[@InternetLiJo]

👽🖤

[@FlagrantVagrant]

Hey, you fixed Shan's blunder. Good job.

[@InternetLiJo]

Lmao omg I did?! Which thing?

[@FlagrantVagrant]

@@InternetLiJo Did you watch yesterday's video? How to lie to an IP. It starts out okay, and then around the halfway point it skids out and explodes into a fireball of nonsense.

[@harunsuaidi7349]

INTP here. The moment I got goosebumps the moment heard "surrender the self" because I know how difficult and scary it could be.

[@QuotesArticles]

Thanks a lot for making this video, really useful!

[@nicetascholupini]

Thank you for this video. Its content has veritably helped me understand where and how to improve my life itinerary and what to rectify in it.

[@jjschow]

If I have to listen to the tribe ... I need a smaller tribe.

[@janjezek9913]

I am most probably an INTP (I can be never certain about that, it is a vague hypothesis). In my opinion, for INTPs is extremely useful to learn about MBTI and Jungian cognitive functions. It is a simple model, which can be applied on most of the population. As INTPs like extensive deductions from simple systems, they can become masters of prediction according to cognitive functions. They can use the predictions with a good level of accuracy to actually help other people. Which will eventually make them happy. At least I hope so :)

[@Guli1337]

you are cool, but no everything in my brain is telling me no ISTP

[@juliz2500]

Thank you so much for this video and the whole series on what each of the types really want. It's been truly eye-opening for me and helps me understand the role of the fourth function much better. I'm an INFP and I've recently started to balance my idealism with a bit more realism. I need to take time to dream and imagine things from an optimistic point of view but I've found out that doing things that actually work in the here and now gives me a lot of satisfaction, even if I only start small and don't get the perfect results I desire. It would be great if you could give us some guidelines on how to develop the fourth function. What does the fourth function look like compared to the other ones? In IXFPs' case, what exactly does Te look like when we use it? How can we find it within ourselves and learn to trust it? When you say "listen to what works for the tribe and act on that", that sounds really alien to me and triggers my fear of being controlled by others and subjected to inhumane structures and hierarchies. All I can really open up to is including some more "realistic" perspectives into my worldview. Is that what you mean by "act on that"? Some examples would be really useful I guess. Edit: citation.

[@juliz2500]

Here are some examples of how I think I include my fourth function more: - checking in with "what is" and how I can act in a given situation based on the facts of what I want, what others want, and what I have to take responsibility for. - considering schedules and time frames (but also considering my own limitations in keeping to them...) when starting a project - taking the time to be creative and give my imagination free reign on a daily basis makes it easier to also take the time to concentrate on the more "mundane" tasks. - when I put what happens in my inner world into writing, it becomes more of a "hands on" experience. It might not be useful to others, but practicing that might be a start (?)

[@robertshaw6347]

Fantastic tips​@@juliz2500 . Thanks a lot

[@arwuh]

Brilliant in and of itself plus with reverse engineering I worked out in advance what the ExxJ video will say. No spoilers! 🙊

[@lilywojciechowski9906]

ISFP here! My best friend is an intj and it's really helped my ni and the become so much stronger over the last twenty years!

[@Lonewolf_77]

Food, freedom, adventure,a life without boredom. - istp

[@supersparkleton]

Wow, that hit me hard. No wonder why I've been repeatedly hitting my head against the wall, expecting my Fi to solve all issues without any Te on sight :D! Ugh, no escape from working some Te muscles, it seems! Thanks for that.

[@InternetLiJo]

😻 glad it hit home.

[@carlosenriquemontebrunopob6400]

Consistency, I'd say. Wether good or bad, but consistent. My" INTJ with lots of IXXP in his life" two cents

[@InternetLiJo]

Very good, you may have possible have nailed another xxxP category 😉

[@dasytaylor]

very clear explanation, thank you

[@InternetLiJo]

Ah I'm glad! Thank you!

[@tylermain3808]

I watched the IXXJ version with my girlfriend(who is an INTJ) and really enjoyed the insights, I was curious if you had done a similar video for IXXP and found this one. I thought that the insights here were also pretty relatable from my side(INFP). I was going to try and give some constructive feedback on this video in comparison to the IXXJ one but now realize that this one came first so my feedback would be more for the IXXJ video. The feedback would be that I found the text boxes you used to highlight some of your points to be very effective and made it easier to follow on my end. Thanks for all of your content, enjoyable, engaging and educational!

[@InternetLiJo]

Glad the visual aid helped! They help me too. Thanks for checking out both vids :)

[@JayAlexRoss]

Third, not bad at all. Hi, LiJo!

[@AndreNewinski]

WELL DONE :)

[@cookiebabe41111]

I’m an intp and my now ex bf is an istp. At first I didn’t think we had much in common, but obviously something kept us together these past 3 years. The way you broke down the difference help me understand how we were similar yet different 💗and how we go after what we want

[@squali1930]

"Fi wants to be useful" YEEEEEES! Let me saying it again. YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSUHHH! ...thank you

[@Maya_Ruinz]

Reads title: Don't give away all of our secrets now, don't make me go back into secretive mode because I will *points finger* :P

[@InternetLiJo]

Lol I’m here to both expose you and help you

[@farrex0]

ENTP here taking notes... now I know your secrets, muahahahaha

[@Hephzibah624]

Hi, I discovered you off of Joyce's channel. 😊 You're so pretty btw. 😭 ❤️ ~an INFP

[@InternetLiJo]

Thank you 🥲

[@felipefreire2182]

Thank you for the video, it was really interesting to know. Please do it for the other types :+)

[@InternetLiJo]

I shall. Well I did rather. They are recorded and will be out soon :)

[@usielastorgamartinez4254]

04:21 a Chemical Brothers’ Surrender reference?

[@InternetLiJo]

No but maybe the collective unconscious made it so ☺️

[@bilalcadimi1887]

Please, a similar video regarding IXXJ (INFJ, INTJ, ISFJ, ISTJ), if at all possible. I appreciate the context of "tribe". Well done.

[@InternetLiJo]

On its way :)

[@alynightstar595]

Welp that hits so hard in reality! Just because I value my Fi, it does not mean it's Te efficient. However, it's so hard to give up on one dominant function tho...Especially if this is how we are wired to act. I wonder...How will I act if I have Te at the top... -INFP/Alynight

[@InternetLiJo]

You can’t give it up! Just think about how to tone it down, just a little. ☺️

[@alynightstar595]

@@InternetLiJo right! Compromise yoyr dominant for your inferior a little! Balancing is key!

[@jackmilligan550]

This is the pain of my life as an INTP. I want people to understand reason and logic, but they seem to prioritise their emotions, values, ideologies more than reason and logic. This is painful because my Fe wants what is best for society, and my Ti can see that these emotional ideologies and lack of epistemological understanding is what is actually damaging society most. I am constantly stuck in the paradox of trying to get people to move away from ideology and stick with truths rather than false narratives, but society doesn't want to listen. If everyone thought more with reason and less with emotionality, we wouldn't have many of the political issues we currently face. God damn it if only Fe had a good way of explaining this to people! xD

[@InternetLiJo]

Hahaha yeah I hear you. That’s the burden to carry with a top heavy thinking function. But, the Fe users have a level of intellect that is unlike ours. We just need to value actually discovering where their brilliance is.

[@jackmilligan550]

@@InternetLiJo absolutely - they bring something else to the table. Which is why working together is the better option. I've always thought if somehow a thinking savior could somehow get the feeling savior to understand the points, the feeling saviors (especially Fe) will be better at delivering those messages to the masses. That's what we lack most I believe. We understand what needs to be done, but can't get everyone on board, especially the feelers, as we're not good at giftwrapping our messages with beautiful ribbons for the feelers to get on board with xD

[@user-th5sy4be7k]

this all hit way too close to home - an INTP who has been struggling with this exact thing for the entirety of this pandemic

[@attheranch873]

Not all feelers have wacky beliefs. There are many thinkers who think they have the right perspective, but they have differing perspectives!

[@jackmilligan550]

@@attheranch873 i never said anything about feelers. I was talking about emotional ideology. Thinkers can hold these toxic views too.

[@anitasordo1525]

You nailed it