INTJ/INFJ: What it's like to have Repressed Extroverted Sensing

[@overcomer4060]

I wonder if this is also why I don't cry immediately when I hear that someone I loved has died?? I never cry "on the spot", never, because I haven't taken it in yet. It's like I haven't felt the realness of it yet. I haven't ever been able to understand how people cry immediately after a break-up, or upon the news that someone close died, or at typically emotional times such as being proposed to, when they have had zero time to process it. I never cry until a handful of days or weeks later.

[@autumnjoy1422]

Mindy Arciniega I was 14, an acquaintance/friend of mine (same age) died, and when I found out about it, I walked away from everyone with a calm demeanor. I proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom for five minutes to cry, calmed down, and then went back out to the rest of the group. Later on I would continue to grieve in privacy, and to this day I still find it difficult to be able to react emotionally in public, even when surrounded by friends.

[@beatricebrazioli3312]

are you INFJ or INTJ?

[@fknmonkey5467]

I’m an intj. I have witnessed deaths of loved ones. Never cried. I would just be stressed or uneasy for the next following months

[@ryrororororo]

I'm an INFJ this is what i've always felt since I was a child. The first time I witnessed death was when my grandpa died in 2010. I was around 7 years old at the time. I didn't immediately cry until i process everything that he's gone forever. The same thing happened to when my grandma died this year, I couldn't understand why I didn't immediately show extreme emotions. I felt kinda rude for not "seemingly" sad and I couldn't understand why. Now I understand that it's repressed Se and I don't feel like as much burdened now, it's just how I process things

[@anneh851]

When my Mom died, I was the last person left alive in my family. Lots of pain-in-the-brain paperwork. I wanted to cry but I waited until I had finished paperwork and driving etc for the day, so I would not lose necessary paperwork or cause an accident.....then after, I cried but did not want to because I knew it would give me a migraine, etc, etc. It's OK not to cry at all during grieving. Sometimes crying is just counterproductive. I prefer to just get the job done so I can hit the gym, but I did find not eating to be helpful. (Lousy cook?)

[@elizabethhayden8056]

"You might catch them doing this in a conversation when you've sparked their interest. " Completely right! I caught myself staring off into space when someone was telling me a story and got worried that they might've thought i wasn't listening, but i was actually carefully processing what they were saying in my head.

[@wynstansmom829]

lol, Zoning Out. Yes, I think that's often when we get caught just staring at someone unaware we are doing so."Lock On". followed by resting bi**ch face or us concentrating on something we are thinking about...right? Ellen DeGeneres talked about this in of her routines from ages ago. She said the perfect reply is always "Gloria Estefan"... don't ask me but it works and if that doesn't then look down at their shoes. It is an old trick to distract and buy yourself a moment to zone back in.

[@huh7635]

Same

[@bitrudder3792]

So interesting! I remember giving myself complete permission to go on a mental rabbit trail during lectures (no grade or job obligation required me to pay complete attention, by the way), because any profound comment that touched me led me down a rabbit trail to explore. So instead of feeling guilty, I chose to get the most out of the ideas that meant the most to me.

[@nateschuette3218]

Yes, I do this all the time. I'm an INTJ and my girlfriend is INFJ. While we have our frustrations with our difference in type, it's nice that this is never is issue. We both totally understand if we lose the other in the middle of a conversation. No need to be offended. I find I do this a lot while reading also. I'll be going along, and something will spark a thought, and the next thing I know I've been staring through the book for 5 minutes. I'll refocus, and then the next paragraph sparks a thought...

[@tessarae9127]

It’s very misguided when people make that leap. I let them know that my brain and thoughts are actually rapid fire connecting points they are saying with other similar pieces of information if they comment on it out of insecurity. Usually I prefer to show them how intently I’m listening by giving them 5 more points of relation to work with though. INFJ here 👋🏻

[@Enoc63]

So this is why I’m over eating every time I feel like a failure, then when it really hits hard I do the opposite and not eat at all

[@jlinus7251]

My face actually became a meme at uni because I have a resting 'depressed face'

[@icecreaminwinter6034]

I'm sorry to hear that :( At least you're too busy creating some weird abstract idea, that other types possibly can't begin to fathom, that'll help solve the endless mysteries of the universe rather than to have time for taunting words of lesser brains... INFP sends love 💖 (and apologizes for grammar)

[@jlinus7251]

@@icecreaminwinter6034 I personally don't mind. What other people think of me never really mattered unless they're important to me. Although it is annoying to have strangers come up and ask me if I'm ok?🤣

[@jerusalem4492]

Lol this is made me laugh

[@shork6953]

Same. My face became a meme because I looked "dead inside"

[@icecreaminwinter6034]

Oh *relieved sigh* that's good👍 I was worried... Well must be annoying for sure but on the other hand it shows that a lot of people care about others in general 😊... even when it's unasked for 😅... props to you for handling it with humor😄

[@julianaschreyer7865]

I’m INFJ and my repressed Se is more like not paying bills on time, or holding off on laundry, or taking my car to get an oil change😂 It all bites me in the ass eventually. The older I get the better I get at remembering I am programmed to be like this. Things are easier but still a struggle.

[@epsotik]

don't you think this has more to do with the Ti function? me as an INTJ (NiTeFiSe) tend to do this stuff you mentioned asap to "quit the task as fast as possible" (not rushing but doing it sooner) because of my Te. Ti makes you want to make the thoughts sense inside you before acting, while Se being the repressed one makes you not "feel the moment" that much. What do you think about this? Lmk!

[@celtic426]

When you want to eat a lot, try drinking some salt water. When we're stressed we go through salt faster. When we crave junk food sometimes we are just craving salt.

[@jariech87]

celtic426 thanks for the tip

[@DrVein]

Yep, same here. Gonna try that.

[@kimpastabowl1058]

Or you can also drink regular water until you’re full.

[@johannasiregar5055]

yes..me too..

[@absinthesesotericadventure7631]

gatorade

[@DrVein]

Se is why I know I can't step foot in a casino.

[@nkopanelesedilebona9227]

This is perfect.

[@mjr7910]

INTJ female here. Never heard Se explained so clearly. I always wondered how Se appears to others. Thank you!

[@mjr7910]

@Angel Bulldog I work with two ISFJ women and I think they may see me as cool and aloof. I don't join their long conversations about their grandkids (I have no children). I am very quiet and have a severe case of resting butt face. So that doesn't help.

[@mollymal9690]

You are incredibly rare 🙏

[@mjr7910]

@@mollymal9690 I've yet to meet another INJT woman, but my sister is an INFJ and we understand each other so well.

[@clairaragon2881]

Thank you for this. I am an INTJ female. Ive never heard Se described so clearly. My biggest issue is that I can never look at people in the eyes, and yes, I have the thousand yard stare like the rest of them do. I never had to deal with overeating because I never get hungry. I think eating waste time. My over-indulgant to relieve stress was always sex. It ruined every relationship I had because Im so spacey, and the one track mind thing... I never wanted to get to know them; I just wanted to have sex with them. Once I noticed the problem, I cut ties with everyone. Ive been alone for a year now, and honestly am much happier.

[@Gushhy]

Angel Bulldog wow .... my issue is how I never really want to get to know them and if I do and I end up knowing I end up bored. I always end up in a sexual situation- infj

[@jessicafrancoeur9655]

I think being females INTJ and INFJ might make it easier for us to over indulge in self destructive sexual activity, as it is statistically easier for females to have access to partners, in the first place.

[@clotildemartinezlopez7017]

Im proud you realized that and grow not too many people do that

[@NiTeLightYears]

I agree that eating is a waste of time, but I'm always hungry, and it's delicious sometimes, actually most of the time

[@brah04X]

@@jessicafrancoeur9655 yeah as a man that was never an option for me lol, so drugs won the bidding 😄 My INFJ demi-ish sexuality didn't help though

[@Vyjayanthi41]

The hard to explain is that when INFJ face trauma they freeze or please more often than sensors. Because sensors fight it out. INFJ take time to absorb & conclude trauma as trauma. And have a huge problem confronting the abuser on the spot while he is abusive. " Why did you not complain ?" Is what they get told very often. They can become numb due to repressed extroverted sensing.

[@33Jenesis]

I am currently obsessed with watercoloring. I’ve spent weeks finding out what it’s about and delved into products and technique. I am not even good at drawing but I am in a watercolor rabbit hole. I am ignoring my job to devote all my time, mind, and money into it. The same cycle had been to jewelry making, knitting, card making, hiking, yoga, running.....

[@mikeylucifer9982]

I totally get you ! There is smth charming about watercolor in which you can esxpose the world forget about planning and structure and go with the flow! Especially in galaxy painting... that loose kind of painting helps our Ni to rest and to be present and appreciate the colors with our senses! After I spent a decade in studies at uni, I started to value all manual work ! Yes sometimes it does overwhelm but as intj I think spending an hour a day or 3h a week on such things is really therapeutic and refreshibg to our dom function!

[@pablogh1204]

INTJ here I always like to eat or drink something sweet in the afternoon and at night, but I am very strict with what I eat: I don't like to drink alcohol, I don't drink coffee, I don't smoke, I don't like many sweet things, instead I'm very scandalous It is illogical and irrational to do or consent to something that hurts or hurts me in the future

[@brandonwilliams3777]

I swear you guys are the ultimate foodies. Like no joke. Im an istp and one of my best friends is an intj. We like a lot of the same stuff.... But he will come out of the blue with some random awesome food i didnt even know was possible Prime example, cereal donuts. I never had a fruity pebbles donut till this guy brought it. We're both stoners, but he has all these gadgets it blows my mind I thought my Ni was good till i met an actual Ni dominant. You guys think of everything

[@travisvanderberg2340]

@@brandonwilliams3777 the intj is something that's literally a 1 in a million kinda person... lucky to find one... I've got a point to say that maybe most intj ppl may say... and will show how mean and insensitive they can be... if you have an S in your personality type you're stupid as f... lol

[@brandonwilliams3777]

@@travisvanderberg2340 its funny because i can observe the difference in our thought processes I actually have two intj friends and both of them will kind of do this zone out thing, especially when something unexpected happens. Then they'll come back with perfect plan to fix it. They also have this amazing vision. Like we will be working on cars and when I'm stuck, i know he will know or see something i dont Me, I just do shit. They'll often just say "how the fuck do/ did you do that....". Perfect example, me and mom get locked out of a house one time when I'm like 11 or 12. She just turns to me and says, "i know you climb on the roof. Go unlock the door." Having never done this before, i was in the house with the door unlocked in 15 minutes lmao. We both are remarkably blunt types and i think we enjoy being able to discuss things without fluff. Most views we have get ignored or seem to piss people off. I can talk about things with them that i cant talk about with anyone else. And we both understand not liking people I can see how my Se is stronger... I have way better reactions and spacial awareness and they can be super clumsy. Their Ni on the other hand is just fascinating to me, and i really admire that secondary Te getting shit done.

[@fterimage]

Alright spock.

[@zafeeranaim1344]

Omg same

[@sablewings2693]

INTJ T Female here. That explanation for repressed Se was very helpful in understanding why I look like a space case in conversations when in fact I’m highly interested. As for the Se grip, I had one of those earlier this summer and sexual indulgence was my outlet. I was definitely not myself and it cost me in self-esteem and relationships with others, leaving me quite confused. INTJs don’t like to be confused so I spent another month trying to figure out what the hell was going on with me so as to prevent this from reoccurring. Analysis: wasn’t happy at either work or home and tried to penny-pinch my way through it all. I went from spending months depraving myself of sensory pleasures and attending therapy only to swing to the other side in a pit of unstable emotions and desperation. I decided to leave the situation altogether and start anew somewhere else from scratch. Never forget, never give up. Good on you for losing 130 lbs. Your body probably thanks you for it. With food so readily accessible, especially pizza, it’s hard to resist the temptation to indulge. But you’ve got this, dude. Stress doesn’t own you.

[@AsuraPsych]

Thank so much for the positive feedback and kind words, I really appreciate it. Thanks for watching as well!

[@gins8781]

My sister seemed astonished once because although conversation in our group shifted to another topic, as soon as I had an opening, I finished what I was originally talking about. I thought it was obsessive compulsive behavior although I do not have OCD. I have never understood this tendency before. I only recently learned about MBTI types and test out as INFJ. Since exploring blogs and vlogs I almost feel like I have finally found people from my planet.

[@buzan2296]

Did the same in class a few days ago. The professor went through some stuff. I was left thinking about these things for some time. By the time I asked the question the professor had already advanced 2-3 slides. But he was cool answering it, he just had to go back a bit on the power point to re-read what I was referring to when I asked him the question.

[@scotshuthats5268]

Yes sometimes fully engage in " over the top " sexual activity ...

[@sandrad9695]

Really good info and insight. My husband is an INTJ and I'm an ENFP. I've always loved the death stare (I call it Spock mode), because it always produces something interesting. And as an ENFP, there's nothing I love more than a new, interesting concept. It also often produces the solution to a problem, and as an extroverted thinker, I like that too because we like to get things accomplished. I'm telling you, the INTJ/ENFP match is a brilliant one.

[@daisylael1573]

Wrong: when staring off into space we are actually brooding and planning our soliloquy for our arch-nemesis, something about how we are really "two sides of the same coin", or "aren't so different you and I", etc.... But really, this made me smile, because as an INFJ type this made so much sense. I also think this may be the root of some miscommunication between me and the EN-types in my life recently. And the binging explanation makes so much sense!! Thank you!

[@brandonwilliams3777]

Naw, you Infjs are just secretly planning to take over the world and Fe is the only thing holding back lmao

[@tiwiogunye]

😂😂😂😂

[@juulie]

xD

[@edwardzhou8590]

Good points, enjoyed how you mentioned were susceptible to addiction, but only for temporary amounts of time. Usually our Ni feels we can reach a greater goal so there’s that double edged sword. I also think that with repressed Se comes with a lack of “celebrating victory’s, even small ones”, as dominant Ni really is future and goal oriented. Which can lead to perfectionism/extremism! ~infj

[@maryamm8379]

I have the opposite I under-eat when I’m stressed or after a while of pressure specially after finals and currently when I’m lost into writing I stop eating even if the food is just in front of me

[@КнижкаУКровати-р4к]

okay idk about it a lot but isn't it an eating disorder too?

[@maryamm8379]

Книжка У Кровати I believe so 😂

[@smilineyes_melanie]

Wow! I've been studying personality types for 25 years and never figured that out or read it anywhere else. Sooo helpful. Thanks for sharing!! Signed, INFJ

[@globington]

That seems like a long time to not know about your own cognitive stack! A classically selfless INFJ Im sure :P

[@elianzee]

I'm an INFJ and this was so interesting to watch! Thank you :)

[@thissunchild]

This is really helpful. I struggle with over-eating, and very rarely I can drink an entire bottle of white wine in one sitting - just because it *_feels good._* I otherwise don't drink at all🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Steve.Orland]

I’m INFJ; I didn’t even realize I had an eating disorder due to academic stress I was until my mom determined my BMI to be less than 17. I only recovered because I learned about MBTI and what low Se means! Unfortunately, I love biochemistry and nutrition, so my interests don’t always express themselves properly and I sometimes feel compelled to restrict food again … The more we know about ourselves, the easier it is to save ourselves.

[@rugma1696]

I'm so proud of you! ❤

[@IncarnationOfNeutrality]

Great to know you're a fellow INTJ, there aren't enough of us out there, 2% of the population. 😥

[@IncarnationOfNeutrality]

@Angel Bulldog yup, although fun tip, apparently ENTP's make the greatest friends with INTJ's, I can even testify to this, as one of my best buddies took the test and he's an ENTP.

[@autumnjoy1422]

Angel Bulldog one of my best friends is an intj female (as am I), we met by chance at a summer camp just last year. Turns out we lived only a half an hour from each other back home, and went to the same church as teens, yet had not met until that day! Just goes to show that if you want to find one, you’re going to need to keep a good look out as we blend into the background to observe.

[@outlaw6429]

@Angel Bulldog , yes, very hard to find worthwhile friends. But I'm okay with being alone, so it doesn't bother me much.

[@kh2716]

and yet every women online is an INTJ..... making it now the most common :-D

[@gracecook7059]

I’m an INFJ and that video allowed me to truly understand Se so much better. My friends point out to me frequently that I zone out of the conversation. I never really understood why I did that until now. It’s true, something that is said triggers a line of thought and I follow that thought to its conclusion then rejoin the conversation; and usually they are talking about another topic. It isn’t my intention to be rude but I guess I can’t help how I’m wired lol. Thank you for this explanation!

[@frankbennett6012]

I can go two or three days without food when I am stressed or nervous with a situation in life. People usually respond saying they wish that were the case for them.

[@karenwalker101]

Frank Bennett I lost 10kg in 2 months that way

[@deimantebruzaite5343]

I can relate, under stress I don't want to eat, only to drink and eat some sweets, but not too much and lost 8 kg, mostly was at college years (2 or 3 years)

[@karenwalker101]

Deimantė Bružaitė not even sweets 😓 and I love sweets. It happed that I found out what is like to be anorexic in those months. I was extremely hungry, my body wanted and needed to eat but my mind found any food extremely repulsive. The good side from this experience is that now I know why people go anorexic because of mental health. Also now I know why people get into drugs. I didn’t get into it, but I probably would have if someone had offered that to me, so huge was the pain and despair. My empathy is bigger for those people now.

[@deimantebruzaite5343]

@@karenwalker101 yes, that's true, but for some se inferiors goes differently then been distressed so need healthy alternative for be healthy after this stress

[@frankbennett6012]

Getting lost in thought is a whole other story. Entire productions play out in my mind. I used to think I was crazy. Good to know it’s normal

[@warmflash]

INTJ checking in • You’re spot on • Nailed it • Thanks •

[@Tybee_]

This is funny. My mom asked my friend if she doesn't think I'm too serious, and she just replied that I'm distracted. I immediately understood what she was talking about. When I'm outside, excessive noise, a lot of people and a lot of sensing makes me even more scattered and distracted, so much so that if you look at my face, you'll see someone lost in the world, with very distracted eyes or furrowed brows. I also tend to get distracted in conversation. And that really does sound rude to others, I realize. And it may seem like I don't have difficulties with that, but internally I usually deal with my food health. I usually have no control and I eat too much. I had a period of eating disorders, which currently makes me have a lot of hypoglycemia situations. Today I'm dealing well with my extroverted sensing. I practice being in the moment, I meditate, I exercise (not yet regularly, but I will get there one day!), I go for walks listening to calm music, I am drinking more water, I observe the environment more, although it is not in my nature to observe physical aspects such as people or trees. Thanks for your video! I loved it.

[@annerittwage1401]

Also, when I have a thought and zone in on that thought whilst in a conversation with several other people, I find it hard to "jump in" and share my thoughts, because I can't really put them into words fast enough than what is socially acceptable. So I just fumble out a few words from what I internally had collected during the discussion, and most often will just stop explaining myself due to just feeling awkward, stressed and misunderstood. In the right setting, with the right people, I feel confident enough to start my thought, then stop and be quiet for a while whilst lining everything up nicely enough, and finally express myself the best that I can.

[@drkatz1192]

I think this relates a lot to addiction. And it’s an element of the SE Grip I’ve really been struggling with lately - but working hard to overcome. Overindulgence, and underindulgence are common. Gorging out on food, smoking, drinking, or not eating for hours, not sleeping, and restricting oneself.

[@NoNamedNobody692]

Hey Asura, LONG COMMENT AHEAD INFJ Male here. Fantastic video on attempting to describe as thoroughly and as efficiently as possible what it means to have Dominant Ni & Inferior Se as INJs. Oftentimes, since I have Ti and not Te AND since my Thinking Function is only in my third slot and not higher like yours is, I can find it extraordinarily difficult to put my abstract thoughts and ideas into actual words in a way that makes it easier to comprehend and understand respectively. ESPECIALLY when it comes to speaking, with writing it's a lot more manageable for obvious reasons. I was just wondering if you ever planned on making an in-depth analysis between our types at all. Since most people often know that INJ types are the "most rare" of the 16 types overall. They probably want to know all the main and specific differences between our types respectively. We tend to come off as mysterious, aloof, perspicacious, intense, unpredictable, difficult to get to know, and difficult to truly comprehend without proper input and context (especially straight from the types themselves). What they may not understand conceptually is that it's our Cognitive Functional Stack (from #1-#8) that actually determine our specific type respectively. Even though we only have a one letter difference in our Type's Initialism (INTJ / INFJ where our T/F attribute is the main observable difference). INTJ --> 1)Ni 2)Te 3)Fi 4)Se [Ego] 5)Ne 6)Ti 7)Fe 8)Si [ENTP- Shadow] INFJs --> 1)Ni 2)Fe 3)Ti 4)Se [Ego] 5)Ne 6)Fi 7)Te 8)Si [ENFP-Shadow] What's interesting to note given the information above is that we INJs have the EXACT SAME Perception Functions in the EXACT SAME slots: Ex: INTJ/INFJ 1)Ni, 4)Se, 5)Ne, 8)Si BUT, our Judging/Decision-making Functions are simply INVERTED along the Auxiliary/Tertiary (Aka the Parent/Child axis) axis both in our Ego AND in our Shadow. Ex) INTJ: 2)Te 3)Fi [Ego] 6)Ti 7)Fe [Shadow] INFJ: 2)Fe 3)Ti [Ego] 6)Fi 7)Te [Shadow] The Ego is the "Conscious" / "Aware" part of our mind. The Shadow is the "Unconscious" / "Unaware" part of our mind. We we feel most uncomfortable when we use our Shadow's Functions as opposed to our Ego's Functions where we often feel most comfortable using them. A MAJOR giveaway between differentiating between us INJs easily is how we use our Judging Functions both in our Ego & Shadow! J-Fuctions: INTJ-Ego | INFJ-Shadow ------------------------------------------------------------ Te --> Externally Objective; Rationale; Collective-Based T/F Value Judgements; Beliefs; Efficiency; Outcome/Result-Oriented; Organization & Management of the External Environment; Inductive; Status; Reputation; Productivity; Thinking "Out Loud". Ex) "What I Believe."; "What will get this goal/outcome accomplished most efficiently?"; "Is this rational?" ; "How will others think about this?" ; "Will this decision accomplish what outcome I want?"; "Will this hurt my status or reputation at all?"; "Why do others believe/think this?", etc. Fi --> Internally Subjective; Morals; Morality; Individual-Based Good/Bad Value Judgements; Sympathy; Sympathetic; Sense of Self-Worth; Esteem; Internalized; Ex) "How I Feel". "Is this Good/Bad to/for me?" "Do I feel good about this?" "How would I personally feel in this given situation?" "Why is this moral or value good/bad for me?" Note: Fi and Te are "linked" to each other / on an axis one another. As in INTJs for example, or ISFP. J-Functions: INFJ-Ego | INTJ-Shadow ------------------------------------------------------------- Fe --> Externally Objective; Ethics; Ethical Collective-Based Good/Bad Value Judgements; Harmony within the External Environment; Empathy; Empathic; Connection; Able to Feel & Understand Emotions/Values of other Individuals. Ex) "How do others feel?" "Is this ethical?" "What will achieve the most harmonious/good outcome for everyone in this situation?"; "Why do other people value this?" Ti --> Internally Subjective; Logic; Truth; Individual-Based T/F Value Judgements; Conceptual; Systematic; Organization & Management within the Internal Framework/Environment; Logical Consistency; Deductive; Result/Outcome-Specific; Step-by-Step; Ex) "Is this logical?" "Does this make sense to me?"; "Is this factual?"; "What's the logic behind this?"; "Is my internal framework consistent & structured?"; "Is this actually true or false or even unknown?"; "What do I think is true/false?"; "Why is this the case?" Note: Again, Ti/Fe are "linked" with one another in the same way that Te/Fi is, like for us INFJs or even ISTPs for example. If the J Functions are in the middle 2/3, they are more balanced than if they were in the 1/4 positions. Hopefully this all is making sense. I'd also strongly recommend anything CS Joesph-Related as far as anything dealing with the MBTI is concerned. He's an ENTP. And stereotypically enough, he's actually currently paradigm-shifting the entire subject itself with his 20+ Seasons/150+ videos worth of KZbin Lectures entirely for free! Extremely in-depth and deeply incredible what he's able to do for all of us by doing so. I doubt you'll find anything topical on what he's talking about as far as academics go, but hey, a little pragmatism here and there never hurt anyone right? If you view it from a completely pragmatic POV and not necessarily metaphysically (like I personally do with the MBTI in general) and just use it as a framework to help better understanding other people, it is INSANELY useful. The comments section will be proof enough for that for any of the 16 types themselves. We INJs have a lot similar than at first glance. I have my BS in Psychology from a nationally ranked university with a double minor in Chemistry & Philosophy. So trust me, I know full well if you're skeptical at all about the veracity of this XD Hope this was helpful! Good luck in school! And keep up the good work! (:

[@lisamkramr]

This is exactly the SE explanation that I’ve been looking for! Stress eating INFJ here. Time and therapy have been helpful in strengthening SE and gaining body and environment awareness.

[@johnnyb8629]

INTJ here, what I do is binge on physics programs, and recreational use of alcohol and marijuana. this is opposed to binging on food which i used to do but now Im diabetic and that behavior will kill me. I crave stimulus so I seek out psychedelics and sci fi as an escape from the real world as the real world doesn't satiate my craving for stimuli and learning. I always seek out the truth in everything even if I must experience it first hand.

[@BaltimoreBama]

Johnny B 💡

[@michelleklippel739]

This is crazy hearing all of this I have binged on sensory stimuli my entire life INFJ thank you for sharing this is just what I needed to hear

[@michaelcrawford2726]

Great explanation, defintely true my grip was spending money. I would buy a bunch of things to make me happy, giving me something to look forward to recieving in a few days or week. Once i ran out of things I wanted or were out of my budget then it turned to depression and i actually had to deal with it. I still have same problem just more tools to fight it when it happens. Wish I could have watched this video 10 years ago haha.

[@andreeadobre3190]

INTJ here. When stressed I binge on physical work. Crafting, DYIing, tinkering, fixing/building stuff. I've also started learning guitar, wish I learned sooner, it's like the perfect unleashing-repressed-Se hobby for me. Oh yeah and I smoke way too much. No drinking or drugs.

[@Mumbi-e4w]

Wow! I'm blown away and inspired by your weightloss. Thank you so so much for sharing of yourself, your concrete Se experience, and of your gifted mind, Sir. I really appreciate. My jaw went on the floor with amazement of how you took back control of yourself from the grip of self hate

[@brah04X]

So interesting that you mention how INTJ/INFJ aren't likely to get addicted but rather just binge. This has been my exact life story, always back and forth, very aware of the issues that lurk behind letting go to the drugs (and also very aware of how unfulfilling that would be in the long run). It's always been clear to me that addiction won't be an issue of mine, but drugs certainly has been. It's funny to see now that the period in my life when I had the best relationship to drugs was during the time when I was out dancing a lot and meeting a lot of people (high Se stuff as I understand). Unfortunately, with age, my INFJ nerves and mind can't take that high social intensity anymore, so I try to dance at home instead :) Thanks for sharing your experiences and being vulnerable with them!

[@Kathryn4268]

Congratulations on your healthier weight and all its benefits! I know that it takes a LOT of presence and effort. You should be very, very proud of yourself! I really enjoy your insightful videos!

[@jakemoore4080]

Excellent video... I find walking down quiet streets at night really helps to relieve stress and help me access my secondary function. I would recommend it as a healthy way to deal with my inferior Se function.

[@amipop1108]

This was the most eloquent and informative explanation for us Se inferiors. Thank you!

[@AsuraPsych]

Thanks for the positive feedback and thanks for watching!

[@junkmail8883]

BRILLIANT VIDEO! (From an INFJ that hates it when their Se goes crazy)

[@sakina415]

Another thing that Comes to my mind regarding se inferior is being unaware of my physical body. I tend to struggle with feeling awkward for example while walking, (like all of a sudden i forget how to walk lmao), Bad posture, not knowing how to pose etc. I remember i used to absolutely dread p.e in school. I would secretly sneak out when we had track because i was terrified of falling and breaking my teeth😂 As ive grown older its gotten much better, and im training myself to engage healthily in Se-like activities to develop this function. I love to dance to loud music in my room while nobody is watching, going to big parties once in a while, running is now a great way to deal with stress, and my significant other has taught me what a good sex life is like

[@jessieessex]

You did a great job explaining the finer details and revealing the reasons why the functions work as they do.

[@anjanach9004]

Thank you very much for the video ,this helped me understand an article I read recently - Ni dominant types have a low Extroverted Sensing - this effects life very much and may lead to unhealthy lifestyle ,the article says "Meditate" daily (to develop Extroverted Sensing) and I laughed because Meditating is so hard ,but thanks to your video ,I now understand that "Meditating might help to overcome the Over eating /Binge eating I do" .Will update if I see a change.

[@quinnrouse3520]

Alcohol, SMOKING, binge eating, and coffee. If I don't smoke, I get mentally exhausted and irritable. Alcohol slows down distressing thoughts, but can backfire and make me more sensitive to them. Binge eating is usually linked to alcohol. Coffee shows up when I have breaks from alcohol.

[@chantararix]

I play video games whenever I have nothing to think about. I always thought it was my way of continuously stimulating my brain. I guess, a clearer answer would be the Se taking charge of my unguarded state.

[@dantron7073]

This is relieving news. I thought my brain was just broken. I'm always staring off into space, lost in my thoughts. People often think I have ADD, and sometimes they have to wave or snap their fingers to get my attention.

[@joshuaforbus5853]

Amazing. Thank you. Grew a little today even though I watched this clip ten times. Endure brother and I believe I feel some of your personal struggles. Once again thanks and put that Ben and Jerry's Fish Food down. Indulge that you helped this 43 year old INFJ war veteran tonight. Love light open roads Semper Fi Captain

[@LeCoffeeCat]

INFJ here and I can relate 100% to everything you said.

[@Emerentina]

As an INFJ, i can relate to the point of having the eating habits first and foremost affected when the repressed sensing kicks in but instead of eating too much, i often don't eat enough (skip meals). In some weird way, my brain takes the situation of me not handling stress well to me being weak and not deserving food or only eating certain types of food (ice cream, chips etc). It can be the effect of a lot of factors but hearing that it's quite a common thing for INTJs and INFJs makes me think about my life style choices in a different light.

[@sharersale6480]

😁😁I wandered off in my head and stared off into space when you explained this, pondering my relationship with food and sex. Had to watch it twice. You explained this so well.

[@5sunniva5]

This is wonderfully explained. Thanks from an INFJ

[@ellemnop123]

Great explanation! INFJ here. Best stress relief is to go for a fast car ride in sub-zero temperatures with the windows down while screaming my favorite song (Simon and Garfunkel, The Only Living Boy in NY).

[@AsuraPsych]

Thanks for the feedback and thanks for watching! Sounds like a relaxing time Haha.

[@emb7083]

One time I was talking to my friend and I was trying to explain something properly, but I was struggling for accurate words. She then said think about it for a minute and tell me. I appreciated it so much and our conversation went really smoothly.

[@noh_d5321]

for me it was alcohol and drugs, i never felt addicted to both but used it to be high. I stopped both since +10 years. Thanks to have described what is the cause of it.

[@GeekPsychology]

Thanks for explaining it :) it’s always nice to hear about experiences straight from the source.

[@nunyabeeswax275]

These videos are like audible and you’re reading my autobiography

[@Jess-yv7zc]

Thanks for this explanation of dominant Ni. I'm an INTP recently kind of obsessed with understanding what Ni is and how it works. It's so fascinating to me bc from my (limited) understanding of Ni, it's so alien in that if's often described as insight and intuition just appearing out of nowhere. This differs vastly from my Ne (or perhaps it's the Ti dom, Ne aux combination??) always, always knowing where an idea or epiphany came from. It can always be traced back to it's origin. Very interesting and helpful info here.

[@wynstansmom829]

PIcture Ni this way. You say something to me and it creates a Burst or Spark of Impressions that we must filter your language through. Picture yourself standing in a forest in a mist and suddenly someone begins to emerge and walk towards you or I, in my case. Hopefully, that person is a Ne user and will help us explore this forest a bit clearer and on a more creative path. The Sensors are hanging on to their tree and telling us this is the best way to hear the forest for the trees. We're both right. It takes a village.

[@Jess-yv7zc]

@@wynstansmom829 Ah! Very helpful and interesting. Thanks for this description and analogy; much appreciated. I often describe my Ne like a spider web--everything's connected. Every. Single. Thing. haha

[@wynstansmom829]

@@Jess-yv7zc I am glad that you found my comment interesting. Charlotte would approve of your description. So if you see a Spider, "don't forget we're the queen bee, babies"...and Barbra knows our name. lol kzbin.info/www/bejne/pKqUeK2gpr56b7c

[@annmowatt7547]

Excellent desription of Se - INFJ female. I tend to undereat which is another problem as I know that I should eat properly! I think where I go nuts is in buying things: never extravagant things but I always have to have something on my shopping list.

[@Massi94211]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on derealization and how far its effects could go and our lack of Se. I do believe there is a strong connection there... Really enjoyed the vid! Great job 👌🏻

[@nllc9779]

Wow, very true about the binges. I specifically stay away from porn/masterbation for that reason. It's the same with weed. I can have a ton in a short period of time, like every day for 1-2 weeks before getting burnt out. Haven't touched it in months and I'm much more productive and happy. This is interesting information though because I had looked at Se as living in the moment, learning to be present and saying yes to more adventures and experiences. Basically behaving like an ESFP lol. But the fact is, I prefer going out, experiencing something (ideally with few people and some nice scenery) reflecting in the moment and then I usually come up with new ideas and discoveries about myself. I then go home and reflect and add to what I have realized. It feels like I'm slowly recreating the puzzle that is my life and the inner motivations and struggles become much more apparent. But it also feels like a drug. Too much of a good thing. I can't go out every night because I need to first build on the idea I had the previous night and "file it away." That would be the I introverted intuition I guess. Great video!

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

Yup... I rarely drink... less than once per week, even with my own stash of booze... but when I do, I intend to get absolutely shit-faced. Also, driving habits: I will sort of switch between grandpa on his way to church and some nutty professor who found out 500mL beakers were 40% off at Wal-Mart. As a wise man once told me: Drink to celebrate, not to medicate. Goes for all forms of sensory pleasure, as I've come to find.

[@melissachappell1320]

Wow , I found someone who understands my frustration , INFJ/ ENFJ 50/50 . I think it actually balances me out .

[@jessicafrancoeur9655]

Watching this while having an Se grip episode, binge eating pancakes after driving aimlessly in the night for hours.

[@zhenren9703]

Yes. It takes days for me to process a physical/emotional event. We are the cool, calm, collected ones in the midst of chaos. But days later whe are a complete wreck, isolated and deep inside ourselves somewhere. I always wondered why I didn't react like everyone else in certain situations. Now I understand.

[@Anonymous_Anon882]

It has to be said that British people have a much more gritty relation with immediate concretion. All these personality types exist in their base fundamental forms all over the world but when it comes to “blind-spots” Americans have a very exaggerated, overly away-with-the-fairies attitude to them.

[@alysfreeman11]

I’m aspie...infj.....I recognise these traits!

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

I'm Aspie...INTJ....I also recognise these traits!

[@acquadiamore]

Awesome content! I'm an INFJ who's struggled with binge eating thus far in life, and it greatly helped to hear you explain it in a new way. Thank you ☺️

[@winterveiro2465]

I am an Intj female and my repressed SE is alcohol and sex, so being a disabled person who is medicated for life doesn't even help when those moments come. There are moments I can stay with no eating an entire day but fall into these two things blindly. Thankfully I never had the opportunity to have a real relationship only some distance relationships that didn't last that much and get bored easily. When those repressed moments come are those when I tend to fall easily to random casual dating apps and I can overly masturbating at times. So sometimes I think being an intj can be a blessing and a curse at the same time, because there are moments when you can't tell the difference between what is correct and what is not and it's easy to fall into bad habits at your worst. And it takes time, it takes time to notice it and change it, that's why awareness is really important in that case.

[@Salehieh]

You expressed it so relatably with regard to "temporary binges". It is exactly what I'm experiencing, and have been experiencing reoccuringly for (at least) the past three years. Also, I'm inspired to hear that you took control of your weight situation in a seemingly overwhelmingly positive manner. It is inspiring, as I am, from time to time, opposed to my conscience, indulging in drug binges... no hard drugs, but when I do it, my confidence and perceived self-worth takes a hit.... I suppose the Se grip simply is a symptom of being an Ni-dom, just as other types face their own type-specific problems. Anyhow, great content. And you should be proud of your journey :) As said: Inspiring ^^

[@BryanChance]

Well said. It should be called "Ignored Extroverted Sensing". -:) One thing that bugs me is people who talk to slow or go on and on without finishing whatever they're trying to say.

[@creamperson9135]

300 lbs?! Fucking hell, dude! You look great now

[@AsuraPsych]

Appreciate it. It was a long journey, took me 2 full years to lose all that weight Haha. Thanks for watching!

[@medhud609]

I still learning english, and you are so fast. But I got the point

[@elenajohansson8396]

You can change the KZbin playback speed of videos. Look to the bottom-right of the player for a settings cog, then click on “Speed” and choose 0.75, 0.5 or 0.25 Good Luck with your English learning!

[@akoskovacs6830]

You explain things pretty well and you seem to be humble. It was a pleasure learning from you.

[@ifonlyunu994]

That Ni stare though....wow. it's not just in the Ni doms but in all the users to varying degrees. Great video.

[@quintuplebanned4267]

Dear God you are so intensely serious. I’m intimidated. I want to give you a drink, something to relax you, but no drink if you are an alcoholic, of course; I am using this suggestion more as a metaphor.

[@marlenemagana555]

You are brilliant! I really loved this video so much makes sense now. From a INFJ

[@brandi5126]

Thanks this is helpful insight. I'm an Infj and I have a problem with overeating. I have been interested and overcoming it though as I'm at an unhealthy weight.

[@melissaphillis7247]

As an infj I believe you've hit the nail right on the head. Thank you! I'm in the grip of Se at the moment, and my weights ballooning. Not sure how to release stress in a healthy way, that's my journey...Thank you for shedding light on this for me....Looks like walking may have to make a return, hopefully I can find the time.

[@ladybluebell1598]

Every description of inferomior Se out there talks about over or under indulgibg in sensory stimuli, but none talks about the sensory overload it can cause. I experience loud and bright environments as quite overwhelming, sometimes to point of having a panic attack. Anyone else?

[@Brisco1]

Very true, I don't fall into addictions at all, but I definitely DO go on binges once in a while, particularly when a majorly stressful life event occurs. Then I practically lose myself in an unhealthy behavior. All the while I know what's happening and why I'm doing it, and in fairly short order I start to level off. Interesting. I'm INFJ.

[@AudaciousErin82Baby]

CONGRATS on your weight- loss man👏👏👏 Thanks for the quality content 🙆

[@monpetitchouxpastry]

Thanks for the video, Asura! I’ve struggled with overeating for most of my life as well. I appreciate you sharing your experience with us. Food has always been my way of managing stress. If I’m moderately stressed, I may binge. And if I’m at my breaking point, I don’t eat for days. Also depending on how stressed I am, I’ll either blast music, have to listen to music with no words, or sit in complete silence for hours on end. Repressed Se is strange... sometimes I feel like I just can’t deal with the real world.

[@enfieldjohn101]

Good job on losing weight! I know what you mean by temporary binges of stimulus. It's not easy to catch ones self doing it, but once I did start paying attention it and deciding to do something about it, I find it easier to avoid. Like you say, it's not something that one can quit completely, but it can be something that we can avoid doing to the point that it leads to severe consequences like gaining a lot of weight. My usual things to binge on are playing video games, watching movies and videos, or reading. Reading may not seem like a sensory overload to some people, but it can be when you apply your imagination to it in such a way that thinking about the story occupies almost all your thoughts and you can practically hear the characters talking, hear the sounds of things that the author is describing (like metal weapons clanging against each other), smell the campfires etc. in your mind. Sometimes, I imagine what could have happened before the story starts in the book, or what could happen next after the story ends. Sometimes, I even write these things down in a sort of 'fan fiction' and/or draw pictures that illustrate it when I really get into it. When I catch myself getting too into something like that, I try to diffuse it by doing something else like going for a long walk, doing household chores or gardening at my place, or even going over to a relative's or close friend's place and helping them do things, or volunteering at my church, the school where my wife teaches etc. I don't volunteer to do things that directly interact with other people very often, because that sort of interaction is often part of what is stressing me out in the first place. Rather, I volunteer to do behind the scenes stuff by myself like pulling weeds, cleaning, fixing broken things, etc. stuff that the other people don't have time to do, can't physically do or just don't want to do.

[@nightcrawlergap1733]

Yep, for me Mountain Dew has always been my go to. It was food for a long time but after I discovered it I mainly just stuck to Mountain Dew. Health concerns. Also what I've noticed about repressed Se. I do not react to being hit by anything. Nor flinch lol.

[@guardiabreak234]

I remember bypassing pain when fighting with peers being a strength. I would go into complete extraverted thinking with an intense focus that at times I scarred myself. It's like tunnel vison. It wasn't until way after I realized that I too was hurt.

[@dirtywhitellama]

I had to pause your video to think about it. 😂 If I start to finish a thought and can't finish it it's stressful - SO TRUE!! I think that's the crux of my problem with my semi retail, customer service job.... Can't stop thinking, always get interrupted doing it....

[@jasminemariedarling]

Infj who definitely gets addicted to things. I've overcome the worst ones but I wish I didn't have such a propensity for addiction! ✌

[@mihnic0504]

Se is like how a dog experiences the world.

[@VexyAmusic]

A dog is an ESFJ, cat is INTJ, mostly

[@FiNe_SiTe]

I point out little things for my INTJ to notice, whether it's a beautiful sunset or flowers sitting right in front of him in the house, to bring focus to the present.

[@gracecook7059]

Also with the inferior Se I have realized that I do have a caffeine addiction. And normally I don’t eat a lot but I have recently noticed that parts of the month I do binge. Now I understand why so again thank you.

[@SirLoinOfHamalot]

I keep bouncing between INTJ and INFJ for type, either way, this helped me understand the issues I face a bit easier. I had no idea that it was due to that, I always found it to be something else one way or another, but now I see why adapting to those assumptions did not "fix" me. Time to get myself on track.

[@befa5322]

I'm INTJ and this is just 100% Atm I am reading "How to win friends" by Dale Carnegie and it is changing my life like magic.. Holy crap.. It's sooooo important for INTJs and all other people aswell.. But I think especially for INTJs it's super important.. Just read that book guys!!!

[@ZanttuTV]

INTJ should focus trying know how it would feel in the other persons shoes (Fi), like an imaginative practice. Also Te systemize people but don't forget Fi for the peeps. Getting to know your emotions/values is a good starting point to mobe to the other stuff.

[@javierlandry7246]

I like your name...

[@xar91]

Thank you for the book recommendation.

[@befa5322]

@@xar91 You are welcome mate :) Did you start reading it?

[@tenderheart7530]

Isaac from New Town I cannot believe the current popularity of this book. I remember my parents reading this and going to some kind of meetings about it when I was a kid many, many years ago 😄

[@ebonymitchell2720]

Thank you! I'm happy to have found your channel. It's helping me understand the INFJ at a deeper level

[@ccmarie9838]

💡ohhhhh...... this must be by why when I study in public complete strangers come up and tell they have never seen anyone study that hard....

[@IkramulHasanLV]

I just ate 5 packet chips before watching this video. You stopped me from finishing my 6th one.

[@renee3384]

Great work, and thank you for having the courage to share your personal experiences with sensory binges!

[@Vezmus1337]

Interesting. That explains the predisposition to fall into physical extremes. As an INTJ, I have found it helpful to keep in mind the long term future (Ni) and strategize (Te) a way to moderate (Fi) the impulses of the body (Se).

[@integreetkonstruksi4628]

Dude your facial expression is so intj. Like mine. Someone may immediately judge and hate intj

[@lpjah8951]

Thank you! Your awesome! All that needs to be said! ❤️

[@aperturedriven88]

Really enjoy your new approach to making content, and this was dead-on. 👍🏼