Iran: The taboo subject of sexual abuse of boys and dealing with trauma | DW Documentary

In Iran's religious capital Qom, many restrictions dictate the freedom of women and girls to assure “sexual safety.” It was in this environment that Hossein was sexually assaulted as a young boy, a secret he carried into adulthood. Now, with the help of his wife Elahe, he is confronting his trauma.
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[@babakdhb]

You know how brave he is to tell his story? I'm proud of you.

[@Sunshine-lo6vd]

100% !

[@EdwardRebotaso]

agree .....super brave

[@MrAcook61798]

Not much love in this family@@EdwardRebotaso

[@KK-ol5ov]

The same people killing women for not wanting to wear a scarf are abusing little boys 😢

[@mtarkes]

How do you know its the same people?

[@osaserewizzyboo13]

​@@mtarkesshut up

[@davidkennedy6351]

@@mtarkesthey are called Iranian

[@takashiimotaki9593]

​@@davidkennedy6351You should stop watching this kind of programme abd insult the people, why dont you tell us where do you come from yourself, probably usa, take your hate to somewhere else

[@sathya7951]

@@takashiimotaki9593its not hate if its the truth though right

[@adlerbr5148]

In Brazil, there is an alarming issue where underage boys face harassment within schools, often at the hands of older students, yet this remains largely an unspoken reality. Several teachers have shared with me their concerns about this disturbing trend. I was deeply dismayed to learn of a specific incident involving a 6-7-year-old boy who fell victim to sexual assault in the school bathroom, perpetrated by an older student. The seriousness of such incidents demands urgent attention and a collective effort to address this pervasive problem that is causing immeasurable harm to the well-being of young students.

[@HGoyas]

Do you have data?

[@eatcochayuyo]

I wouldn't be surprised. Both are very religious societies. Both Islam and Christianity prevent sexual education which means, victims do not get even the vocabulary to report abuses.

[@herekitty791]

Same in 1st world countries like the UK, with older headlines such as 'Up to 64,000 women in UK are child-s ex offenders'

[@sillycookie1982]

​@@herekitty791 women?? Im so confused by that figure. Inforget with such surveys though even are skewed by England as opposed the the other UK nations. Who knows but that figure seems off. If that's women what's the figure for men? Wow

[@overcatter7647]

@@sillycookie1982 In the UK men who wear dresses are considered women. Their offenses might skew the numbers?

[@The2010pz]

I am IRANIAN same as you and know our culture. You are very BRAVE, thank you for sharing your memory and opening the door for changes.

[@AlfariziZakaria]

Life in Iran is very religious. Is this documentary accurate?

[@readyforknowing3009]

​@@AlfariziZakariaThere are no demons among the 'pious & religious'? They are the worst of the lot.

[@ryansultan9461]

​@@readyforknowing3009Their religion is dangerous and never be peaceful 💀

[@valeok8357]

@@AlfariziZakariaIt is but it is not religious, it’s only the government who wants to show that side of Iran .

[@frogindisguise8231]

@valeok8357 and it's also the government's fault what's happening in Iran. You cannot force a religion on someone and expect them to become pious.

[@user-jq7bd3ce5z]

The mother’s reaction was the most heartbreaking 💔.just devastating the way she dismissed him

[@jasminealixandranorth]

And then gaslighted the daughter who joined at the end and asked what happened - and the mother said 'nothing' at first ☹

[@schiffelers3944]

I think you forget that her hands are tied, and that the role of women is different - I think it is more complex.

[@schiffelers3944]

@@jasminealixandranorth You could call it that but it isn't that simple like that. It is part of the culture and how you are socially expected to behave. It is not her place to shame her son even more. In the beginning Hoessein told this made him lesser man in their culture. Why it is hidden and secret. The way you react would not be conductive to heal this type of problem. His mom was 16 and basically grew up with him and her children.

[@readyforknowing3009]

It wasn't deliberate. She did not know how to react. She couldn't process the information. She never had exposure to such things.

[@kirstenwright3755]

Vile parents

[@clair233]

Wherever Hossain and his wife and children are now, I hope they are healthy and happy. Thank you Hossain and your wife for being so courageous - it clearly shows how these things can happen, and how they should never, ever be swept under the carpet. This film, as an example, will help thousands and no doubt will save lives.

[@PLuMUK54]

Unfortunately, it is also commonplace in Pakistan. My friend only recently discovered that two of his uncles had not only abused him but also his brother and several cousins. Despite this, and the fact that it happened over 35 years ago, my friend still suffers guilt. He was a young child but he blames himself to this day. I am the only person he has told, even knowing his own brother suffered has not made it possible for him to say anything. It is not restricted to Muslims either, as some comments suggest. In the 1930s, my late father was abused by his parents in England. He never recovered. We only found out when he was in his 70s, and a television programme on the topic triggered him into revealing what had happened. I was also abused by older boys at school but gained strength from the experience. I fought back when they came again, and I fought to protect my friends. Despite fighting back, I look back with great sorrow on the events. I hope that anyone who has experienced this can find the courage to talk to someone. For my father, it was too late to achieve much, but my friend has told me that having told me, he feels less guilt and shame. Keeping it inside yourself will do you no good. Find someone that you trust and talk about it.

[@tyronsimpson2143]

Your peace. Your peace 🙏🏾

[@Seita833]

Yes, talking about it to spread awareness is the first step to change this. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@slew444]

🙏😌📿

[@mehek930]

youre an amazing person to not only have been there for your friend, but also to have not used your trauma to inflict more on someone else. hurt people hurt others. youve made a difference. i appreciate you.

[@readyforknowing3009]

I am sorry for what you went through 😓😢

[@happytour1770]

The worst part is "The Mother". First she did not defend her kid when she learned that Husein was being sexually abused. Then the next day, she cruelly gave her innocent abused kid the guilt that "he" was doing something wrong and "I, the great forgiving mother" , chose to forgive you !!! And after all those years, when Husein opens up and shares his treacherous experience with her, she decides to deny. She immediately changes the subject. She calmly keeps cracking nuts sitting comfortably. When she observes Husein is crying and is in agony, she does not even move her f** a** !!! She tells the other kid to go grab a blanket for Husein, because he is shaking !!! Later, she tells Husein that "because of what you shared with us, you father does not feel good" !!! Again she gives another guilty feeling to Husein ..... This woman does not have any sympathy or empathy for even her own emotionally torn child !!! She consciously and deliberately chooses to deny her responsibility and continue harming Husein more and more !!! She is evil !!! UNBELIEVABLE !!!!

[@jivanvasant]

Excellent observation and analysis. The Mother is a Monster, and so is the Father. It would not be surprising if her other son, Mohammad, and his older friend hang out together frequently for consensual intimacy, and the parents are in psychological denial about their relationship.

[@goddesslivy]

While what you say might have some truth you need to look at it from a bigger perspective. The mother comes from a culture where people are unable to recognize sexual harassment or able to provide love as comfort especially to their male children. I don't blame the mother or father at all. How can they provide comfort and understanding when they have never been taught how to express those feelings before?

[@edwinholcombe2741]

​@uwaolive I agree. They simply did not know how to deal with it. It was too much for them to process. People have this weakness in all kinds of subjects.

[@artamghotbi8305]

I agree persian mothers typically try to divert from taboo stuff but thee fact that its the 21st century and shes still diverting from this topic disgusts me and the father aswell their more concerned about their own wellbeing than their son who has been suffering secretly for many years. I hope mohsen finds a better family

[@mrmoneyhacks5480]

She's a product of her own trauma. We all are. No more, no less.

[@vestaosto]

I find it incredibly courageous of Hossein to confide in his parents (for the second time). It was shocking that his mother didn't remember it. His father and mother didn't apologize for not supporting their son back then and also wasn't really supporting him today either. Maybe doing chores and fulfilling the duty as a breadwinner was all they focused. Still, this was very painful to watch. Hope Hossein find strength again that has been always inside of him.

[@carlosfc007]

I think the parents simply did not (and still don't) possess the emotional maturity to talk about such tabu themes as sexual abuse, didn't show any openness to make amends with the past while they simply dismissed it, disregarding the psychological well being of their son. Which, in its turn, is usually seen as a superficial necessity in many cultures

[@Vinod-yn2uq]

im 22 yrs old, last year i was invited to a frnz party , i was intoxicated and raped by my 2 frnz, im not gay nor im feminine , even they were not seems like that kind of people. we were really good frnz, but that day i clearly remember, after i lost my consciousness , i barely feel anything, they took me to the bed room and undressed me and then all i remember was someone thrusting on my back... in the morning i thought it might be a bad dream, but all my clothes were on except my inner wear , and when i went to toilet i saw blood drops on the toilet bleeding from by butt. then i confirmed that was not a dream, its really happened . now a days we cannot even trust our own frnz, that incident put me in a severe depression, i felt so low, i still feel so low confident, that memory gives me nightmares, i stopped meeting them, they actually talked in the morning of that day as nothing happened and even invited me so many times to parties, but i rejected .. not only women, not only children, even grown up man can be raped... there is no gender specific or gender constraint ..

[@mamikafashion3345]

It wasn't your fault at all, i hope you can heal and be happy. Please be kind to yourself.

[@wentzelwilliams5568]

🫂😔💔

[@sierpalina8225]

Adoration of Holy Sacrament will start the process of healing and you will come out of this nightmare completely.

[@joanhuffman2166]

It is sad that we have to be so very protective of ourselves. I'm sorry that they were not real friends.

[@godislove6010]

Stay strong 🙏🏻

[@joshlayes3130]

I’m almost 30 and one of my dreams is to be a dad. I cannot understand how some people can be so evil to harm a child. They are creatures who look up to adults for protection and proper love/affection. Breaking that trust is absolutely despicable and beyond my mind comprehension. So sad.

[@Donnie-hf5du]

I agree with you 😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉 how can others harm a child

[@dominicbrant1968]

The abusers always have a way to justify their actions, and often totally believe that what they did wan't wrong. I wasn't sexually abused, but my abuse was so serious that the local 'child protection' were heavily involved. All I remember is the abusers saying over and over 'I don't know where they got that idea from' and then telling me what to say when I was asked questions. I said what I was told to say or I'd make my situation worse. When I got to thirty the idea of having kids terrified me as I believed, somehow, that maybe I'd be like my abuser. Totally irrational and one level, but it also felt like a real posibility. If it was possible for my abuser to do that to me then it was possible for me to do that too. It's horrible. I didn't have kids.

[@mcsok3]

Brilliant comment

[@itspania]

As a Persian girl, I feel heartbroken when men’s issues whenever it comes to mental health are ignored thanks for making this documentary

[@nellyphillips5688]

The mum is being ignorant and utterly disgrace to be called a mom,she’s lieing probably because it’s her own brothers that were doing it,she don’t deserve to be called a mum

[@M-gp4cw]

My uncle abused sexually of me but When I faced him about it he told his brother I was lying. No one belived me. So there's not reason why somebody should claim something. At the end few people are going to belive and even if some of them belive you they aren't going to say anything. I don't mind to get a guilty but to have peace in my mind to be free and not having such adiction problems as an adult. Sadly I'm not the only one, mos of the people who have been abused never say anything it's much more what you lose than what you 'earn". Actually you don't obtain anything.

[@LiberatedNotes]

⁠@@M-gp4cwA good parent would believe their child and discard anyone even if it is an uncle if they are a threat to your child. As a parent, nothing should come before your child

[@nazaaz9828]

👍

[@copperredd]

She is just as conditioned as the rest of that society to turn her eys way and not address these taboo things...she couldn't do anything about it anyway as a woman in such a society.

[@amsterdam_budtender]

Thank you so much for sharing this Hossein, must be incredibly hard. You and your wife really are lucky with finding each other and feeling open enough within the relationship to not only you sharing that with her, but also making this story heard. ❤ More and more men finally feel the courage to share their experiences like you. One of my customers shared a similar story, being sexually assaulted by men and women throughout his childhood. I'm absolutely shattered by the thought people scar these kids day in and day out. Seeing what that does to someone, mentally, physically, emotionally, the whole shabang is just heartbreaking.

[@fuadashraf870]

That's true horrible. But why are you silent about Gaza children being bombed?

[@Flower-ck2bs]

@@fuadashraf870Do not mix These two terrible things. You can also talk about importstopp things!

[@frogsmoker714]

@@fuadashraf870 Yes. Hamas killing their own children. Too horrible.

[@fuadashraf870]

@@frogsmoker714 liar

[@jibril2950]

The mother's response when he asked his younger brother (Mohammed) about the older guy he is always hanging out with. I have the feeling that it's one of those open secret things that no one wants to talk about

[@Yourunclestoenail]

Yeah she knew....but didn't do anything about it 😢

[@barbaraguc]

Dear Hossein, just wanted to say thank you for being so brave to share your story. I'm really sorry for what happened to you... I wish you strength and sending you lots of love ❤

[@javiwoowoowoo5810]

I grew up in Mexico in a small town and this video brings back so much trauma when I was a child I was abused by many older men especially my dad’s friends when they would drink at our house and I remember telling my parents and my mom dismissing me like nothing and my dad being angry and telling me to be a man and tough till this day as a adult my parents still refuse that anything happened I found out recently my two little brothers had the same problems

[@wentzelwilliams5568]

🫂😔

[@deendrew36]

I am sorry. 😢

[@anastasia10017]

Have to say that the animators really did an effective job of showing the fight/distress with the blue fish from the boy's T shirt. Very well done.

[@th1agu]

I was abused when i was too young to understand what was happening so i don't think i will ever bring a child to this horrible world. I don't remember feeling happy in any moment of my life, that trauma won't let me.

[@mauriciojr.4428]

Please seek help and therapy, you can be happy 💛

[@SuperSwedishStar]

The courage he showed was admirable. I’m in tears, virtual hugs to you Hossein

[@ceilconstante640]

Very Sad and Painful. We need more documentaries on this sensitive and tabu subject thet happenes in every culture. Vicitims suffer in silence and don't always get the understanding and support from their families.

[@yepshesdead9011]

It's heartbreaking how delicate you must be of your loved ones feelings, when you yourself may feel alienated, isolated and alone from a lack of support when you need it most. The denial of his mother to even take responsibility to acknowledge his pain. And such an insightful documentary showcases a much warmer, more accepting version of this tale that many other survivors will never relish. I'm sorry this happened to you. To any of you. You deserve better. You deserve everything you aspire to. Somewhere in the world, love is radiating for your benefit.

[@w.k.7277]

I’m not Iranian but I wish I were. Amazing people and a beautiful language.

[@carlosfc007]

I was overwhelmed with Hossain's vulnerability. This was a very moving piece for sure, thank you for sharing such well curated docu

[@BASo7ul]

This was one of the most heart wrenching. Thank you Elahe for making this film happen. Across the world no one is talking about the sexual abuse/trade of boys. Thank you both for making this deep dark painful video. I uncovered a film called Bacha Bazi many years ago, and had no idea that this was something that was happening in the Mid-East. This is not a problem of the mid-east it is a world-wide problem. The Mid-Eastern tenacity to ignore it is relentless. Thank you for sharing your pain and confrontation with your family. While it seems nothing was solved to the average viewer, this was a major mental-wellness barrier to cross. I can never know this man's personal pain. There have been times when I've shared things with my parents about troubling instances in my childhood, and was left feeling immensely alone in my feelings. I don't blame my parents or his parents, they are only functioning with the enculteration they were brought up with. THIS FILLM WAS WAY TOO SHORT! I WANT TO KNOW IF HIS PARENTS ARE GOING TO SUPPORT HIM ON HIS WELLNESS JOURNEY, IF HE HAS SOME AWAKENING TO HIMSELF AND A RESOLUTION THAT WILL SATISFY HIS LIFE. PLEASE DO A FOLLOW UP. Pehaps even do some pre-quel, so we can get a grasp on how y'all came to the decison of shooting this short film and then what's next. I love you Hossein, because I am broken boy too. I love you Elahe for your bold compassion.

[@matthewjay660]

I saw "Bacha Bazi" and that's what I kept whispering in my head over and over. 🤔

[@hanifleylabi8628]

That was in Afghanistan, not the middle east

[@spinkid2000]

You can also point out that it is part of Asia. However that doesn't matter. Culturally and politically Afghanistan, Iran and Pakistan are considered part of the Middle East. Those 3 countries share many of the same problems, including this one. Geography is not the point of this film however.

[@hanifleylabi8628]

Pakistan is hardly ever considered part of the middle east and Afghanistan rarely is either. Culturally Pakistan is South Asian and not middle eastern.@@spinkid2000

[@lucaspierre9305]

How can a mother not know? Is it easier to deny and pretend to not remember when your child was asking for your help? That you were busy with chores. Is it easier? Rather than confront the truth that you have failed in protecting your child and leave him to suffer in silence.

[@vicarioustube]

Oh many mothers don't know. Often their mind is incapable of that sort of imagination. My mother was close friends with my priests abusers. She would have never believed one word, if I had spoken up which I didn't.

[@dominicbrant1968]

It doesn't work like that. When a kid says someone was mean to him, the person listening will hear it as meaning teasing, or other childhood things. The reason kids don't speak up, and the reason adults don't hear, is because they don't expect a child to talk about adult things. If a child says my uncle hurt me when he touched me here (somewhere sexual) the person listening will think it was maybe part of a play fight or rough and tumble. Very few children have the language to express the sexual nature of an attack. A play therapist gave a child victim two dolls. The abused child made the dolls do the sexual things the abuser did to them. The therapist watched and understood what the child was saying. Sometimes kids who are abused act out their abuse in how they interact with other children. Mostly, they don't express the incidents in a way adults will understand and hence the memories get buried - the child is not able to process them, so they get parked. It's only in later life, often in their late twenties, that people begin to understand what happened and discover the memories. I was not sexually abused, but I was abused for a long time. I was in my thirties when I actually began to remember. When I spoke to someone else who was there, they confirmed what had happened and were able to give me more details. Basically I didn't remember anything from that time. There are chapters of my life that simply don't exist. I had problems. Depression. Alcohol. Underachievement. Guilt. Anxiety. Anger. When families are close, saying something like my uncle hurt me in the shower will be heard as my uncle was rough with me when he washed me in the shower. And as mum knows the kid doesn't like to have showers she would just think uncle 'forced' him to have a shower. So, in short, you can't expect children to talk about adult things. And you can't expect adults to listen to children and hear adult things. If mum knew these things existed, then maybe she'd have been able to ask better questions. If the child had something other than words, then maybe they'd be able to express what happened. No easy answers, but the more repressed the culture/society, the less the chance of kids talking and parents listening.

[@AllScarsHealTarotcardreader]

If she didn’t know even being told there would be a different reaction than cutting him off while speaking with “ I don’t remember “

[@copperredd]

Women r conditioned to look away from the transgressions of men in societies like these...the victim will almost always carry all the blame

[@AllScarsHealTarotcardreader]

@@copperredd are you Iranian.

[@nycrsny3406]

Man, you're so brave for telling this story, hopefully this has lightened the load a bit for you a helped on your journey to work through this trauma. The main theme aside, the rest of the video was amazing from the conversations and the choice of scenes. More strength to you.

[@WambedeDickson-wr7gk]

"My therapist advised me to speak to you about it so that I can change how I feel about you". I wonder how Hossein felt about his parents

[@user-yd7kz6kg4k]

The same feeling when he suffered the sexual abussed. That was the second time that he felt guilty and alone.

[@WambedeDickson-wr7gk]

@@user-yd7kz6kg4k It's saddening to know that you have family and they are always around you, but yet feel so alone inside. It's difficult

[@user-yd7kz6kg4k]

@@WambedeDickson-wr7gk the family is such a ignorance members, 'cause the social -political established is predominant in social life. It happens in different part of this world. Even in Usa.

[@WambedeDickson-wr7gk]

@@user-yd7kz6kg4k True the social construct is everywhere even in Africa, it is only unleashing broken people

[@mojanz7338]

I am also from the Qom city . I am so proud of you two Hossain and Elahe . You can not chang your past but you can chang the future . Hossein jan as I see Elahe is like a gift for you . Take cara of each other and live a full life . Thank's for your bravery .

[@gabrielaantonioli]

It's much more confortable for the familie to keep the air of normality than to face the problem. Something similiar happened to me when I was at school, I was bullied a lot, told my parents but they thought it was normal. This goes beyond gender, religion, culture, etc is the fear of the shame your child is bringing home.

[@nab2364]

Ignoring actually

[@shameelahlingard4277]

His father acted how a parent should when learning something so devastating happned to your child i could feel his heartbreak for his son

[@LorenaJackman]

this is incredibly heartbreaking and his mother's reaction was so cold.

[@geeunit831]

omg that conversation with his parents broke my heart 💔🥹

[@shadibeidas1]

What's really scary is that this happens in every country: the cycle of abuse, suppression of information, and blaming of the victim. The only way we can fight this cycle is by talking about the abuse and exposing perpetrators.

[@jacobharris5095]

Thank you for producing such incredible content, offering it here for free. You are making such a difference in the world!

[@DWDocumentary]

Thank you for watching and sharing your positive feedback!

[@sepidehsabour6366]

Addressing the sensitive issue of sexual abuse of boys, I want to emphasize that not everyone in Iran is highly religious. The individuals consistently wearing headscarves and chadors are becoming the minority. The majority of Iranian people are not religious. The portrayal of mosques, mullahs, and the call to prayer (adhan) in the documentary aligns with the image the government wants to present of Iran.

[@eatcochayuyo]

That seems to be true. Fortunately so. But not being religious still does not keep one from being influenced by the thinking that religion cultivates. As a lifelong atheist, I would say that includes me as well, being brought up in a dominant christian society. The shame around sexuality and the incredibly flawed thinking that religion spreads are doing damage even with non-believers.

[@OllieDayer]

I believe Qom is a bit different, as it is known as the Vatican of Shia. Just like the Vatican, you can see a lot of Christianity symbols in the city more than any other countries, in Qom you can see symbols such as mullahs very frequently. Also almost in the all cities of the Middle East, regardless of whether people are religious or not you still hear calls to pray because there are a lot of mosques around. Just like European cities where there is a lot of church around, regardless of many people being atheist. What I receive from the film, which is a very strong aspect of the film is that the documentary is trying to say sexual abuse is happening everywhere even in a city with that level of religious. I don't think the doc is trying to say people of Iran are religious, or unlike some other comments, I don’t think the doc tries to say that is the fault of religious that sexual abuse is happening- because the sexual violence is happening everywhere. But I think it tries to say sexual abuse is happening "even" in such strong religious families and citifies too. So we should think about something more than just religious lessons in the schools that we see in the beginning of the film.

[@81wwwolf]

@sepidehsabour6366 you’re missing the point. This is set in Qom which happens to be the most religious city in Iran. While this issue is commonplace everywhere in Iran, it’s worse in more religious communities. A combination of unreasonable restrictions on normal consensual sexual release and the overall hypocrisy of such communities are perfect breeding grounds for child sexual abuse.

[@user-lc3jp8lf6v]

​@@81wwwolffacts 👌🏿

[@user-il9tx9di4b]

As a parent…don’t say you opened up wrong! Just apologize and say…what can I do now. I don’t think this kind of interaction was in his parents knowledge of what is possible…just denial. Hopefully they figured it out in the end.

[@J7..0]

The mother's reaction was so cold and disappointing....she kept saying ''I don't remember'' everytime he tried to recall her memory.😢

[@copperredd]

Its the conditioning of a society that protects men from their transgressions... Nobody is allowed to address it, evwn if everyone knows

[@cheaperthanapenny]

Much respect to Hossein and his family for sharing the story with us. I hope they come to fully believe that it was not any of their fault that abhorrent things had been done to Hossein by the vile men, and that Hossein is not defective in any way. I know many women from all cultures who are dating/married to men with prior sexual abuse history. May the Lord help Hossein and his family heal and protect them as this story is shared on the webs.

[@abusidd985]

You’re a brave man! I’m so sorry that you went through this trauma! I’m sure the mother felt crushed inside but this topic is so sensitive to talk in public and I’d have expected the parents to hug him and apologize to him for letting him down!

[@s.l4631]

I really think the mother remembers. Her being defensive was just so cold as if she's just trying to make him stop talking about it. The parents both let it slide and started another topic very fast, and would have continued ignoring it if he hadn't brought it up again. It's so sad how lonely and unprotected he felt when he was a boy.

[@victoriahiley8395]

I don’t believe that the mother didn’t know. Perhaps she just wasn’t able to deal with it. But the parents’ reaction when Houssein told them was weird. There must be cultural differences (I’m English) but if my son told me that I’d be murderously furious at the perpetrators and immediately want to know what I could do to help him. They were clearly upset but didn’t validate and support him they just made excuses. Bizarre to say the least and deprived Houssein of closure.

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@TheAnthoula14]

It's definitely a cultural thing I think. She had her first kid at 16 in a very repressed culture that can't even accept married couples holding hands in public. I'm sure her mind immediately shut down the minute Hossein tried hesitantly to tell her what had happened to him. Very sad. We do a lot of things wrong in the west, but I think we at least have gotten better at understanding abuse and making efforts to communicate with our children about it.

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

@@TheAnthoula14 Sexual harassment of any kind is worse doesn't matter it happens with whom

[@CheezzyAlfredo]

@@TheAnthoula14 What about the thousands of Single Older Westerners travelling to places like Thailand?

[@abrqzx]

@@CheezzyAlfredo only Thailand? It is also common in the Philippines

[@sarahs.3094]

خیلی دردناک هست. کاش تعداد بیشتری از مردم ببینند این فیلم داکیو مِنتری رو. This is heart-wrenching to watch. I hope more people living in Iran will watch this and raise awareness.

[@DWDocumentary]

Thanks a lot for taking the time to comment. We kindly ask our viewers to comment on our channel in English so that we can answer questions and encourage dialogue. Thank you and all the best, The DW Documentary Team

[@sarahs.3094]

@@DWDocumentary Noted. I wrote it in Farsi intentionally to increase the chances of being seen by Iranians living in Iran. I will add an English translation to my original comment.

[@jaimepe4765]

KZbin has automatic translation anyways. I think we need to encourage people writing in their own languages. Imperial languages are not always the answer, especially with nowadays translation tools. ​@@DWDocumentary

[@sarahs.3094]

@@jaimepe4765 I totally agree with you. I myself have replied to comments for which I used KZbin translation tools. I don't think using language other than English will discourage dialogue amongst viewers. It is probably just one of their internal policies.

[@tobiascabrejas5154]

This is very common in Pathan culture in Pakistan and Afghanistan. My Pak friend has photos of kids in his phone and asked him if thats his son, he said its neighbor. He also has videos of dancing boys in women clothes. And I also found out they (men) openly talk about affection and attraction to young boys. Then he told me, his friend is coming so I have to tell his friend I am his, so that his friend wont touch me.

[@view1st]

When you say boys do you really mean young men of 13 upwards (teenagers)?

[@tobiascabrejas5154]

@@view1st No. Kid on the pic seems to be younger, like 7-10 yo.

[@henrylim4662]

Thank you for your bravery in sharing this story. You already have the support from your loving sister. That’s already a blessing. Here’s wishing you and your family a wonderful year ahead.

[@nataliaoc2877]

Hi Hossein. You are strong, stronger than those cowards. You are resilient and extremely brave. Keep going for all the survivors, and alm their families and friends

[@malcolm5442]

That poem in the last scene killed me.. Thank you..

[@shamssakhey156]

I’m from Afghanistan I grow up in Pakistan I have bad childhood still I’m not okay and every night I die for freedom.!

[@Eln9380]

Wishing you freedom you don’t have to die for 🤍🦋

[@shamssakhey156]

@@Eln9380 thank you.

[@Sunshine-lo6vd]

Wow and the parents blame him for the abuse. What a horrible mother. Shame on you !!!

[@SA-xv3kv]

It happens a lot to the boys in India too... Especially, in crowded train compartments! Very Scary experience to say the least. 😥

[@jivanvasant]

This is a surprising situation. What are young boys doing on crowded trains? In large cities? Commuting to school and back home without their parents? Have you witnessed this, or do you know someone who experienced it? Is there a documentary about crowded trains in India? Any links would be appreciated. Peace.

[@ericsarnoski6278]

Reminds me of the story about " Dancing boys " in Afghanistan. Something about that mid-east region is culturally skewed. I think this is more pervasive than we realize.

[@nicolemanja1430]

Seen that too. It was horrifying.

[@boop7313]

You speak as if this doesn't happen in every country.

[@visitor4210]

It happens more in Western countries.

[@alis.b.4631]

sexual harassment happens everywhere unfortunately, not just the middle east.

[@erenjeager5290]

You can legally marry an underage child in 14 states of the US. This same stuff happens at the hands of priests just as much. There is no magical force field around western nations that protects them from abuse against children.

[@nazlinaz2193]

I really feel sad when his mom denies, and tell him "I do not remember" how it was hard😢

[@mohammedsaysrashid3587]

Another truthful introduction documentary about shameful, abnormal, taboo deals ( boys abuses ) in Iran and other nearby countries. Documentary shared by an amazing ( DW) channel. Documentary showed how much that man suffering mentally and carried trauma feelings in his under consciences ...

[@enalo6261]

Then again USA had a Lolita Express with elites visiting it, whose names are until this day kept secret.

[@DWDocumentary]

Thanks for watching and for the feedback!

[@lostinbeauty7129]

Wow, what an unsatisfactory response by Hossein's parents, to say the very least! But in a country as repressed as Iran, perhaps it is not surprising that they are completely unequipped to deal with this matter. Thank you for sharing this, and all the best to you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.

[@Secular_Iran_GE]

i am Iranian-Georgian i can feel same like you Hossein,stay strong brother

[@kaunglatt6495]

I'm glad that you could finally tell what you survived. We know it took a lot of courage to do so. So proud of you. Keep going. Don't let this trauma define your life.

[@mustafanoori7432]

The situation is worse in Afghanistan and Pakistan, TBH i myself am one of the victims. It still hurts.

[@leofitness7519]

So sad and painful respect to this brave guy for telling his painful memories

[@es.Erykha]

Thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt words. Hossein, your resilience is truly incredible, and I am deeply moved by your courage to amplify the voices of those who suffer in silence, not just in Iran, but across the globe including me. let's work creating a home, place, sociaty where children, teenagers, adults in general-regardless of gender, skin color, or religion or whatever-can thrive not overcome that such a step a step long journey and I actually let myself cry a bit more than the last time and say again you don't overcome that this... u live with it, you cry with it share with other's people and it's groowing more conscious and intent to the life of the present. Let's strive for humanity, for a quality of life that doesn't just focus on survival but on truly living. Let's break free from the chains of oppression and build a world where we can all feel human, where monsters no longer dictate our existence. I'm on time to be more conscious about life and myself and people in my situation, what I could do for them. Thank you, once again, for your powerful words. They've ignited a fire within me to be an agent of change, to stand up for what's right, and to fight for a world where everyone can live with dignity and freedom. Let's join hands and make it happen.

[@TheOGJLaw]

This was such a difficult journey, filmed and told so beautifully. We wait so long to tell our truths, because we've allowed the fear of what might result grow and grow so long that it scares us more than even death. Uttering the words takes such courage but brings such relief. It's like draining a wound that started as a bad cut, but grew more infected the longer we left it untreated, slowing killing the soul. So amazed by Hossain's joy despite pain, humor despite worry, and most of all his bravery in living his truth.

[@bhartiuser5131]

In India this assault occurs frequently, my elder sister assault me for many years . She presents her very religious

[@bethharvey8272]

This poor man, his parents are monsters who failed to protect him, which includes getting justice for their son. What monsters.

[@eatcochayuyo]

Where do you see the monsters? I only see people who live in a society of religious taboos. Islam just like Christianity cripples people and disincentives sexual education.

[@Sunshine-lo6vd]

It’s a culture thing. Islam.

[@45tibi]

I would not say it’s Islam. It did hurt them to find out. I think they did not have the education or parenting skills to understand and actually listen. Also, children at that young age probably don’t have the la gauge to explain well what is happening. A lot of parents in a lot of cultures and religion don’t pay much attention to their children

[@user-cx3qi2te8k]

I hope that he can find inner peace and knows that he did nothing wrong except for trusting a complete stranger who took advantage and destroyed his innocence. All the best to his family and pursues his dreams for the future. You can't let them win

[@angelpie9530]

It is so sad for the mother to say she didn’t remember, or blame the victim that HE should have been “more straight with her”. He was a child! It was her responsibility as a parent to pay attention and investigate his claims. This makes me so sad for him. I applaud him taking care of his need to discuss it with them. I hope it brought some measure of healing, although it likely affected his entire life.

[@dominicbrant1968]

I wonder if something was lost in translation. Children say lots of things. She wouldn't have expected him to be talking about something sexual, and he wouldn't have had the language to express something sexual. So the chance was missed.

[@kimberlys.t.7206]

Hossain I’m very proud of you. So sorry you had to carry this around all these years. You’re are beautiful soul don’t ever forget it. Thank you for sharing your private moments with your family. Good luck to you . ❤

[@sepesasigatokacakerasili]

Thank you for sharing your story bravely.

[@hvosouq]

My very sincere compliments to you Hossein. You have shown so much strength. What you had experienced in childhood is a very common tragedy, not only in our society but I want to say in Life, in general. It is very unfortunate and painful, but it is very common. Every society has this dilemma. Treasure your wife; your wonderful parents. All of You guys in this video are of high quality people. There is so much Love among you all. Bless, & Bliss. ❤

[@tlam3309]

A beautiful and moving film, thank you.

[@ivy_rin2312]

you are the strongest to come forward and talk about this matter i hope you only receive good health and happiness... that animation in the beginning literally broke me haaah....

[@jikkkjvghj]

Happens in India a lot to both sexes. Even parents are not aware of these issues especially in rural areas. Just now the concept of good touch bad touch is taught in schools but only in city

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@TomCat493]

Well it used to happen when the country was ruled by the autocratic, lunatic , communist Gandhi family party of Congress. Things have changed now over the past 9 years. The current government has made laws very strict. Indians are aware of it, maybe you are not 😊

[@nochipsonlycrisps8639]

Chup be k2e

[@askosefamerve]

​@@TomCat493 Gandhi? Communist? Lmao. Learn history.

[@aj-by4nc]

It's sad when it happens to girls or straight boys. Their life is ruined.

[@AadeshKadam-zk7gi]

2 years back when I was studying at kota ... I was 16 and was living at hostel ... I went to my friend to get his book while returning it started raining. I stood nearby a mosque and and near by it a momedian man was there he called me and said don't stand outside come and sit inside you can go as it stops raining. I went inside as I entered he locked the door and he pulled me and he tried to do bad things with me . He torn up my clothes he hit me he even gripped my neck beatten me . I was shouting he said you can shout no one will come he said me I won't let you go anyhow from here .... Until I fulfill his wish ... I fought with him for nearly 4 hours to escape from there .. but he was strong and molasted me ... I still have proofs against him and recordings ... But of no use he won't get any punishment. And infact I would get to hear many words by the society.😢 I was scared a lot and not even told anyone what happened .. I still remember that bad day in my life .

[@Grushenkaa]

It's sad that happened to you. But why won't he get punishment?

[@AadeshKadam-zk7gi]

I not told to my parents.. I told a friend he said he will get out of jail by paying money and infact you would be shamed by society because this happened with you they will tease you and no one will marry you 😢😢

[@Grushenkaa]

@@AadeshKadam-zk7gi I can understand you dear, I know our society well. I hope you recover from that. :)

[@AadeshKadam-zk7gi]

@@Grushenkaa hm I am okay now 😊

[@timpekarek9159]

Heartbreaking. I hope Hossein is doing better and continuing therapy as long as it is helpful

[@crush3095]

I always heard about this Greatly appreciate this mini doc the burden must be shared by all, we are complicit in our ignorance and inaction

[@asinelliplatamona8348]

thank you for being brave & sharing , someone will be saved .

[@lynnedwyer6716]

I don’t think moms reaction was cold. The very nature of this society is to repress sexuality. I think his parents will be tortured with guilt that they were unable to understand or help. They love their son. Trauma brought to our children hurts the parent. Dad believed he and his son had a bond that would enable him as a child to have been open and told them more about it when it was happening. They appear to be a warm loving family. There is a lot more talking to go on in this family. It will take time for mom and dad to listen and hear. The first thing dad said was “I trust you to not participate in this behavior”. As though the child could control the evil that was put upon him. Next step is for mom and dad to support their son as a victim too young to protect himself. There is hope that this son and his family will become closer because he is no longer carrying this secret alone. Mom is not cold. This is awful information for any parent to hear. Her love will overcome that distance.

[@salutiesse]

total gratitude for this

[@gnoekus]

A loving family. Thanks for sharing.

[@user-kz5eo5tm9h]

Thank u for sharing.

[@asianmalemassage142]

This happens all over the world. In several countries and cultures. But it's often brushed under the carpet. I've experienced sexual harassment and potential molestation too but I was raised by a brilliant father who raised me to be tough and resilient and told me how to combat such advances and ward them off! I'm so lucky to have had such a dad. I've never been a victim of anything. I wish all fathers take the time out to raise their sons to be strong, tough and resilient, practical and resourceful. Unfortunately, most fathers don't do that.

[@T_WC123]

And you have been a victim - of your own arrogance, hubris, pride, and lack of empathy. How remarkable you are.

[@Horheles16]

@@T_WC123 You just cant't accept that the father you idolised has a responsability of the fact you were abused. Yes, if you had a strong father, he and you would have a relationship where you could open up about whathever went wrong in your life from the first instance, where he would be your proactive guardian as it should be. That's the role of a father. Your's and mine, just weren't doing they're job.

[@BakaNeBaka]

Sad reality of so many places in the world. Great work. Props to the animator/s as well. That depiction with the fishes.... Sigh

[@Local_Nerd]

I’m proud of you for telling your story!

[@klodiana9347]

It is heartbreaking for a child to go through such painful and soul-scaring experiences, only to find out that his parents would attempt to dismiss his pain to keep a straight face for the world to see! 😢

[@YeahNah100]

He IS a strong man for making sure his family hears him. Weaker men choose to live alone in the silence of shame.

[@Madamegato]

Neither one is weak. One has courage, the other still needs time to find it. We need to stop shaming people for not speaking out when MANY people fail to listen or fail to take it seriously. People create incredible stigma against victims of abuse - making it out as though the victim (no matter their age) was somehow asking for it. Stop shaming the victims for not speaking out. Instead, make it impossible for people to abuse and then live in civilized society. Only then will we stop this scourge.

[@ghulamhussainbadruddinshah1325]

@@Madamegatoahstantum

[@georgep1358]

I can relate to his story......so brave of you to tell us your story

[@echospaw899]

I'm so sorry you have 'those particular' childhood memories. There a so many of us around the world who share very similar stories. And none is a fault of your own. That feeling never truly goes away, and sadly, it's still a taboo to speak of, even within one's own family. But it's apparent, you have a beautiful, loving family. I hope you are doing well and that past part of your life is no longer harming you. Peace my friend.

[@stacycamacho59]

I watched a documentary years ago about boy dancers elsewhere who were also abused quite a bit. It is so sad to see it is hidden so much.

[@Dan-xx5jq]

yes, very common in Afghanistan and parts of Pakistan. I saw a documentary of truck stops in Pakistan, the drivers sleep in open cots outside. And they have older men that take young boys to see it they want to sleep with the young boy. A lot poor and homeless boys are lead into that trade. The boys are given money and drugs. Some of these boys were shown to have grown up into men, and they then begin the process of pimping out new young boys. A vicious cycle! So sad.

[@ninobk196]

24:06 Mom pretending like she has no idea what happened. This is so sad...

[@user-mn6sq3is4t]

It happend in India as well so shameful

[@julualjay]

it's a great responsibility to raise your child with care. we have to be careful about all kinds of a assault. prepared your child to fight against evils. specially take care of your boy child when he has little feminity.

[@jdmmg4904]

Also raise your child to not become a perpetrator.

[@julualjay]

@@jdmmg4904 yeah that's true. It's important one What you mentioned

[@mehek930]

having an open and mature dialogue with your child about sensitive things is difficult sure, but important.

[@HaVoKisthebetterSuMmErS]

This issue is worldwide...stigmas surrounding mens sexuality and vulnerability keep it from being discussed and handled the way it should be

[@drfaisal5944]

i think ur parents managed the situation quite well,they were deep down in pain by hearing u but they were helpless now.i wonder,ur parents are very friendly,so much friendly,y didnt u talk clearly with them in ur childhood if u got this several times. what happened is past,best thing is that u lessen ur mental trauma which was their from years .kudos to u for opening up about it.

[@marioantoniodimaano2755]

Here in Philippines, younger male students are being sexually abused by male teachers, older male students and non teaching male personnel inside the vicinity of the schools and some young male students are being raped outside the schools, they are bribed not to talk and remain quiet.

[@akmukherjee1971]

Thanks, Elahe. Thanks, DW.

[@meb6625]

Thank you.

[@andyroo9381]

After watching this, I am left feeling empty inside.

[@meeeka]

I went to uni in Iran and was engaged there and had two really close guy friends from the family. All three of those young men told me they had been abused, raped, whatever. Each (at a different time) told me it had been done at school by older boys or at some religious classes. I was so shocked and so pained for them. And now it's almost 50 years later and I still can hear their three different voices and their feelings behind their truth tellings.

[@bndergltd3053]

What awful parents. The mom deflects and the dad blames the victim.

[@zahrabijari6649]

I think they just don’t know how to deal with it, they love their son, but don’t know how to support.

[@Heru_Iluvatar]

Awful parents or awful system?

[@Abhishekxsahu]

​@@Heru_Iluvatarboth, many people chose to break out of these awful systems

[@pennykafai4645]

This is a very upsetting story, his mother really tried to brush it aside and totally disregard what he was telling her. How could she not remember her little boy whispering that in her ear, it would haunt me forever if a child of mine told me something like that. I hope he has got all the help he needs to heal that gapping wound that is still there festering away at his very being.

[@alessandratopete481]

Hossein: Thanks for your bravery, your sensitivity and for showing part of your path and your will to heal. ❤ Sending all the love and blessings for you and your wife.

[@dawei0077]

Wow! What a powerful and moving document. Thank you so much for making this very heart wrenching documentary and sharing it. Hossein truly is a brave man, and I admire his honesty and openness in this documentary. I'm a little shocked by the negative comments that blame and criticize his parents. I do not believe they intended to hurt him. Perhaps cultural differences play a part in how they dealt with such incidences. Who are we to judge? We are all outsiders, being allowed a small glimpse into what this poor guy has been through, and how he is trying to process this horrendous, past incident. I do hope Hossein continues to heal. Sadly what happened can never be taken away. The only people we can truly criticize are the vile people who did these heinous acts to him.