Is Anakin's Relationship Abusive? | Star Wars

All my life, Anakin and Padme have been the epitome of the perfect romance. Looking back on it now, things are...... different. So the question now becomes, is Anakin and Padme's relationship abusive? And if so, what caused it to become unhealthy?
Join the Cuenin's Cove Discord! ► / discord
National Domestic Violence Hotline ► www.thehotline...
Cuenin's Cove Main Theme ► "Tesseract" by Adhesive Wombat ( / adhesivewombat )
Find me on Social Media!
TWITTER ► / iamcuenin
INSTAGRAM ► / iamcuenin
LETTERBOXD ► letterboxd.com...
SPOTIFY ► open.spotify.c...
0:00 - CONTENT WARNING
0:13 - Introduction
0:40 - Is their Relationship Healthy, Unhealthy, or Abusive?
4:53 - What Caused their Relationship to be Abusive?
12:44 - Palpatine's Manipulation
15:04 - Conclusion & Outro
#CloneWars #StarWars #Skywalker

[@twinkles190]

Anakin's relationship with Padme was certainly unusual, but I don't think it was abusive at the beginning. Yes, Anakin had bouts of Clovis Jealousy, but Clovis was a very special situation. Throughout season 1-6, we have seen Anakin be supportive of Padme and her wishes, Clovis is a very worrying part of their relationship, but is wasn’t representative of their relationship dynamic as a whole. The Clovis arc is a good example of how Anakin became worse between seasons 2 and 6 after Ahsoka left. The arc shows that besides being worried about Padme’s safety, he is also afraid that she will leave him for something better. He never believes she was cheating on him with Clovis, (he beat Clovis up because Padme said no, he was assaulting her and anger took over), but he definitely believes she had a soft spot that went beyond friendship, which is none of his business either. For the most part throughout TCW, Anakin reacts like most people would when their loved ones are in danger. He delays the attack on Grievous ship to save Padme. In the opposite situation, where Padme has the chance to trade Grievous for Anakin's life, he tells her to not do it. He feels sorry when Ahsoka was kidnaped and he blames himself for not protecting her enough. He takes heavy shock torture so that Padme doesn't have to and worries for her safety when she almost drowns. Anakin definitely cares for her and listens to her, when Padme is afraid of him after what he did to Clovis, Anakin leaves her alone and respects that's she doesn't want to see him. Sure Anakin is heavily overprotective of people to the point of demanding they listen to him (that he demands stuff is indeed a strong sign of an unhealthy relationship). He believes they will be safer that way. He demanded and almost pleaded with Ahsoka to come back to the temple, so he could help her and prove her innocence. He demanded Padme stayed away from Clovis because she would be safer that way. But what people often forget is that both times Padme and Ahsoka said no to him and he did NOTHING to stop them. He demands that Padme stays away from Clovis, but she doesn't and Anakin DOESN'T force his opinion or will upon her. Sure he is moody, but he never forces her to do anything. Both Ahsoka and Padme are not afraid of him, they both feel completely safe around him, enough to disagree fully with what he is saying at all times. Even on Mustafar, Padme wasn’t afraid of what Anakin might do to her. What made it abusive, was how Anakin slowly became emotionally dependent on Padme as the clone wars went on. I don't think Padme was truly negatively affected until Episode III when the fear of losing her becomes very real to him. He lost his mother so he is afraid of abandonment. Especially with, what you said. The visions he had been getting, reinforced that he was going to lose Padme and that there was nothing he could do to stop it. To be fair to him at the beginning of the TCW he keeps it under wraps. He has Padme, Palpatine, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan as close confidants and he is relatively stable. But Obi-Wan starts lying to him in the Rako Hardeen arc, breaking his trust. He loses Ahsoka and she leaves him behind just as his mother did. The Council (which Obi-Wan is on) did nothing to help him nor Ahsoka and let her go. We all know that Palpatine was never a good influence on him. While all of this is going on the Clone Wars is raging on (a war he has been fighting in since he was 19) and seems unending. Only Padme was a constant in his life, the only one who hadn't betrayed him or left him, and that makes him both extremely possessive of her and fearful that she will leave him too. And this is coupled with two other very heavy character flaws that he has. The first major flaw is his inability to control his anger, as seen with the Tuskens in episode II and the Clovis arc, and various other moments in the Clone Wars. He knows that he was out of line when he goes into his rage mode. He was sorry after he beat Clovis up, after killing the Tuskens he actually cries. He saw himself as a monster just for doing that alone, but he couldn't control himself to stop. (And a big part of his inability to control his anger comes from having to bottle it up for so long comes from the Jedi Council’s ways for sure). His second biggest flaw and maybe his biggest strength is his loyalty to the people he loves. Anakin will stop at nothing to save the people he loves. Anakin has no boundaries, nothing and I mean nothing is too morally reprehensible for him. He will kill anyone, beat anyone, hurt anyone who hurts Ahsoka, Padme, Obi-Wan, or Luke. In part to protect them and slowly because he is afraid of losing them. So when Padme is in danger of dying, of leaving him, it's a mix of selfless worry for her safety and the selfish fear she will leave him behind, because at this point he is so dependent on her that she is his life. (I can't live without her - Anakin Episode III). Anakin doesn't kill the younglings, because it seemed fun to him, he did it because Palpatine told him: Only then will you be strong enough with the Dark Side to save Padme. He knows what he is doing is wrong, but he will stop at nothing to save Padme, to be strong enough to do so. Keeping her means that she won't leave him behind and to him, his loyalty and fear are stronger than his basic morality. Enough for him to deem what Anakin thinks is important for her safety over her wants and needs or what is morally right. (i.e. not taking into consideration that Padme would rather die than let innocent children be slaughtered). This is the first time we see him do this, not even in the TCW is he seen truly disregarding Padme's opinions or her wants, but here selfishness and fear take over. The relationship truly becomes abusive. And when he believes Padme betrayed him, just like everybody else, he in his uncontrollable anger chokes her to death. Only to regret and hate himself over killing her in a rage, he yet again couldn't control. Anakin would go on to hate himself for the remainder of his life, serving the only emotional tie he still had left, Emperor Palpatine. I’m sure Anakin never set out to hurt Padme and believed he never would, and I’m sure that Padme never believed he could be capable of it either. But Anakin cracked under the pressure as many people do. It starts with one hit, they promise to never do it again, only to fall back in the previous pattern. Sorry for the terrible sentence structure, and the rambling. Just felt the need to share and it became an essay. Love the Video!

[@MalusOfficial]

This is a brilliant point, I can’t help but think that if anyone was put in Anakin’s position, they would’ve gone down the same dark path too.

[@balobadartist9022]

I enjoyed reading this thanks 👌🏻👏🏻

[@quacksw]

Agree 100%! Well put.

[@pumpkinbagelpatch]

This deserves more likes

[@emmajohnson7216]

You should make a video about this opinion I would watch it

[@jay01342]

I think after his mom died Anakin became dependent on Padme for happiness. Also I’m only on season 2 of Clone Wars, but I know that Ashoka eventually loses faith in the Jedi order and leaves. So after Ashoka left, things got even worse. Anakin wasn’t just terrified of Padme dying, he was also terrified of Padme leaving him too, because then he knew he would have no one in his life who made him genuinely happy. Anakin had no idea how to cope with loss. No one taught him how to properly handle the challenges and hardships of life, and of course, Sidious knew this and took advantage of him. The more Sidious manipulated Anakin, the more abusive Anakin became to Padme in my opinion. And the Jedi, of course with their outdated beliefs, made it easy for Sidious to manipulate Anakin.

[@jay01342]

Not to say that what Anakin did was okay, but it really goes into why he did it.

[@CueninsCove]

Yes!!! 100% yes I'm with you there

[@MrEffectfilms]

I once heard that an abusive husband is often that way because he witnessed his father (or father figure) be that way towards his mother and processed at an early age that that was ok to do and even expected. Since Palpatine is the only father figure in Anakins life who doesn't just hear him out but seems to try and help him he's the only one Anakin can emulate and without realizing it he's becoming just like Palpatine, by the end he's become so much like him that he's come to care more about his quest for power than his own wife, the very person he was originally so obsessed with getting that power for.

[@CueninsCove]

@@MrEffectfilms Exactly. It seems as though a number of abusers, if you told them they were being abusive, they would have no clue. It's interesting to think because it's not necessarily accidental, but they are just unaware. Really, like Dave Filoni said, if Qui Gon were still alive, Anakin would have a good father figure.

[@basketballgirl723]

That’s also why he had abandonment issues. Before AOC, Anakin thought his mother was safe on tattooine or well as safe as you can be. I would think learning your mom was kidnapped and tortured and then she dies in your arms. Yeah I’d have abandonment issues too. Well actually I do that’s why I relate to Anakin so well. After his mother died, anakins innocent world was shattered and he began to heal from the good times from the clone wars with his friends and Padme. But when Ashoka left, this destroyed any remaining hope he had that things could change. Also shut up. ANAKIN WAS NOT ABUSIVE

[@natsmith303]

Now I regret skipping the second Clovis arc. That scene with Anakin and Obi-Wan alone seems well-worth it.

[@leahtheanimationfan40]

It's one that I think you can skip the first time around but if you're interested, go back and watch it. There are some scenes that make it worth the watch

[@satinekenobi4ver855]

your also forgetting Anakin also accuses Padme of being with His Bestfriend / brother Obi wan who frankly is still heartbroken over death the love of life Satine.

[@XxstrawmanxX]

It was an abandoned plot point

[@devinreis5811]

He's really insecure. Any person that is in a secure relationship, that is secure, wouldn't accuse their spouse of having an affair over a disagreement. We all get insecure, but that type of insecurity is scary.

[@Grz349]

There are a number things which I think affect how we can view Anakin in these episodes: 1) When Anakin lashes out at Clovis he did just see him forcing himself on Padme-always remember no means no 2) Anakin and Padme both have strong senses of duty and I often wonder if Anakin feels duty bound to help in the war, he is shown to have high expectations of himself several times 3) We never see Anakin getting jealous of any other character than Clovis suggesting (to me) that he feeling are just about him and Clovis 4) During revenge of the Sith Anakin was suffering from nightmares and I think in the book he was described as exhausted/sleep deprived. Most people don't make good decisions when suffering from sleep deprivation.

[@AGirlWithoutAName]

Anakin was truly in love with Padme. As Ashoka said he was extremely nice and had a big heart. We know where Luc got it from 🥰 but sadly Anakin was also abused all his life, first as a slave and then by Palpatine ... somehow by the Jedi Order also. Anakin was also full of the Force and then his emotions were multiply. Many people seems to forget how both love/light and hate/darkness there was inside of him. His heart and mind were literally torn all the time. By the way, excellent video and explanation 🙏🏻

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

What if Ultra Vegito would appear in ROTS??? Would he murder Ani in Mustafar without hesitation and by excusing himself by calling him a monster with the same behavior like the Gods of Destruction?

[@eugenewang4650]

The Jedi's (and especially obi wan's) abuse wasnt overt- it can be described as 'micro-aggression' where there is no obvious signs of abuse but just small behaviours and actions that slowly degrade a child's confidence in themselves. Obi wan is a good example of a parent who means well and loves their kid but does it very poorly.

[@bengheinrich7500]

The only way Anakin and Padme can have a healthy relationship is if Anakin left the Jedi for Padme and didn't hide their relationship. I don't consider the relationship abusive because Anakin never abused Padme until the scene on Mustafar and never emotionally abused Padme either but it is still unhealthy because Anakin is possessive of Padme.

[@basketballgirl723]

No he was more overprotective. He wasn’t that way until after his mother died. After that he became more terrified of losing his loved ones and this multiplied when he found out Padme was pregnant and was worried for his unborn child.

[@relaxhedx7064]

not possessive more like overprotective he has a fear of loosing people which is why he wanted power so he would stop people from dying and at the mustafar he was long gone consumed by the darkness

[@danielpersson3268]

Controlling is abuse he did it in two of the movies and a few times in tcw, being possessive can also be abuse

[@TheSuperRatt]

@@danielpersson3268 Yup. It's something a lot of people overlook when talking about abuse.

[@dolphinjeans663]

Don’t forget that multiple times through out the story Padme was the target for multiple assassination attempts with Anakin having to jump in and save her for many of them. I’m sure that would make someone overprotective. Also Anakin did try to leave the Jedi Order to be with Padme (that and he realized the Jedi weren’t the best at protecting the weak and less fortunate) but Padme turned it down. It’s an interesting change to see, towards the beginning of ROTS Anakin is willing to leave the Jedi Order to be with Padme and to stop all the secrets and lies but by the end Padme is trying to get Anakin to leave with her.

[@LifeWithMatthew]

I think a lot of time people unfairly criticize the Jedi order because we view it through a lens of western culture. The Jedi order was very much a mirror of Buddhism and part of Buddhism is the concept of cultivating the dao. For those on the path of cultivation were supposed to put aside personal attachments. Even familial attachments needed to be put away as once you reach a level of immortality they would die before you anyways and to let their death affect you would harm your cultivation. This mindset run contrary to our Western ideals, but for Buddhist, and I would argue for Jedi as well, it is an important part of who they are. (I love your videos)

[@CueninsCove]

Interesting idea! I'm not familiar with Buddhist Monks and such, but what it could sound like is that maybe the monks were able to be physically detatched from everything they need to let go of. Whereas the Jedi are apart of the Republic, so it was easy for Anakin to be tempted by earthly attachment. So maybe if the Jedi weren't apart of the Republic, things would have been a lot better off 🤔 So the criticism may be justified, just in a different light. The Jedi are basically trying to live up to these Buddhist ideals, while living in a western world, and seen as the protectors of it.

[@helenwhs]

The Jedi are far too rigid. Their methods may work for those raised in the temple, but Anakin’s admission as a Jedi was a great exception, and they didn’t tailor his education to fit his exceptionalism.

[@sefalimahanti9848]

@@CueninsCove @LifewithMatthew, The very core idea of Buddhism lies in the 8-fold path , a way balancing either extremes, neither over indulgence,nor complete austerity. It is somewhat present in certain Upnishads and other texts from some of the oldest religions. Siddharth didn't become buddha after his fast, rather after he ate the kheer (an Indian dessert) , after which he realised his path wasn't extreme penance, nor was it , his luxurious life as a prince, it was by leading a simple balanced life , that he and his disciples can find peace. There's a reason majority of martial arts originated from the monks. The Jedi I think , not unlike the monks, learn to defend themselves,not offend, it's not binary ,as described by Yoda in Ep 5 and then his ghost in Episode 8, and Luke personifying the very embodiment of what it means to be a Jedi at the end of TLJ . It's too long, would really appreciate if any of you actually read this .

[@albertortega7160]

I was an ordained Shingon Buddhist monk. I agree with what you said.

[@georgeoust]

While i respect all the practises of all religions, we can all agree that just bcz something is a thing that means it's right/justifyied/healthy. Be it supressing emotions like you said, or christians using religion to excuse homophobia/rscism/sexism (just some examples). I also believe that going too much to any extreme is unhealthy, religions included.

[@Cybele1986]

I think in addition to the reasons you noted here is Anakin’s deep insecurity and history of being enslaved. If Anakin was secure and believed he was good enough for Padme there’s no way he would have reacted the way he did

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Sometimes I wish he was never found in Tatooine. That fucking roadblock on Naboo is at fault for what Ani would become lol

[@devinreis5811]

His insecurity is insane.

[@navyakapoor1248]

before the mustafar confrontation their relation [ especially in clone wars] was like an imperfect one [ I mean no marriage is 100 percent perfect ] but not abusive . They had disagreements regarding Padme's choices but during the show and he was very possessive but not really abusive. I do agree that his relationship with Padme was unhealthy during clovis arc but not abusive

[@jasminesuarez8358]

Anakin and Padme did truly love each other but Anakin was emotionally unstable. He didnt know how to love as he was afraid of lose. Once he turned to the Dark side he let his anger take over. He didnt really mean to choke her but he didnt have control. Had he left the order and dealt with his trauma maybe it could have ended differently but Palpatine still would of tried to get him to turn Sith. He made a deal with the devil and once he did he sealed his own fate. Clovis tried to push himself on his wife. What man wouldn't have fought him but he just happened to be a Jedi so he had powers most dont. In the end he had the opportunity to redeem himself and become a force ghost but Padme is one with the force and gone forever as non force users dont have an afterlife (Which i find to be so lame)

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Maybe if the Dragon Ball Afterlife was also in SW our dreams may become reality by having Padme live there

[@devinreis5811]

Creepiness aside, he was horrified beyond belief over the thought of being a dad. Surprised Pikachu Face aside, he was horrified.

[@angelasepulveda2488]

New fan here. Good job. Also I'm happy to see that you posted a link for support. Getting out of an abusive relationship can be difficult and sometimes dangerous. Your video was well presented and balanced.

[@alpha5664]

Anakin and Padme are in serious need of couples counseling or a divorce.

[@devinreis5811]

She was too good for him from day one.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Rogue and Gambit did that. If only Anakin and Padme had the balls to try it out

[@sarahluise3153]

Short answer: Yes Long answer: Yes, it was written as such

[@RaafeyEditz]

i dont think anakin tried to hurt padme even tho his life was very very hard and when Ashoka left the order his future started changing and when he found out Clovis was with padme anakin let him go until the second time Clovis acts like padme loves him then when he died anakin was used like a puppet by chancellor which lead his future down hill and killing padme i havent really watched a lot of the clone wars so correct me if im wrong

[@CoryoPrime]

What Obi-Wan should have said to Anakin is search your feelings and make the right choice for yourself. Whether that choice is to remain a Jedi or not I will help you.

[@bethbaxter2922]

Honestly, I have never liked this relationship

[@basketballgirl723]

Honestly, no one fucking cares

[@angryanakin]

@@basketballgirl723 lol

[@devinreis5811]

It was like a Korean soap opera.

[@SamaritanPrime]

Oddly enough... about fifty years hence, another couple will stand in a red setting and a similar confrontation will play out, but with a VERY different result. I refer to The Last Jedi, and the throwdown in the Throne Room in particular. Ben Solo and Rey of Jakku have been spiraling slowly towards each other for about a movie and a half, with Rey getting a look under the facade of Kylo Ren that Ben maintains. It's an unhealthy relationship to the core, certainly- these two do not meet on the best of terms- but it's in the throne room where things come to a head. With Snoke- the man who both abused Ben and made him who he is- now dead (because Rey matters more to him than Snoke does), Ben turns to her and asks her to join him. Rey refuses, now truly seeing the darkness within him. It had been easy for her to hate him before- but the poor girl had been slowly seeing past that darkness until she thought she could save him. But no- that darkness was still there, and Rey decided that she didn't want any part of that. And so, Rey takes the first opportunity she gets to run for her life. In this, she very narrowly avoids the fate that befell Padme when she was in a similar situation.

[@allyvandergaast8746]

I would say there relationship is unhealthy but I wouldn't say that's it not quite abusive.

[@devinreis5811]

I felt like I was watching a Korean soap opera sometimes.

[@Xxlr830]

The thing here is that Anakin wasn't “ripped from his mother”. They both took that decition, Shmi wanted a better life for her son and Anakin dreamed to be a Jedi, so neither Anakin nor Shmi were forced to it. Of course it's a loss and the Jedi should have helped more instead of just keep repeating their mantras. If it comes to be true the Jedi order had a lot of problems within the High Council for the time Anakin joined the order they fully just don't suppress emotions and says “oh no, no emotions” they actually teach their younglings to know their emotions but not let this emotions to dictate everything. Like I said the way they thaught their philosophy was already tainted for the time Anakin arrived with them. But to blame Anakin’s violent and abussive being on them, it's just a no. Same with Palpatine, we all know that he groomed Anakin but Anakin did not needed Palpatine manipulation for him to be abussive or have quesrionable way of thinking, there's a lot of moments, important moments were Anakin is turning dark and Palpatine is just not in the equation, Palpatine just knew how to used the darkness inside him and the dark things he already commit and add more fuel to it. At least this is what his character tells to us, and how I personaly understand it. This video is great! Thanks for sharing!

[@NickMartinproductions]

Without even seeing video yet: objectively yes.

[@Quabbe]

Another Great video, super interesting take on Anakin.

[@CueninsCove]

Thank you for the support my dude. Hope things are well on your end during quarantine and such, I miss our old days at the theatre 😭

[@Quabbe]

@@CueninsCove me too man! Singing in the radio and talking star wars all the time. Simpler time, a more civilized time

[@CueninsCove]

Haha yes, agreed

[@anupriyamitra3196]

Very good observation and analysis but it jyst breaks my heart. U do agree Anakin's possessiveness for not leaving Jedi Order but I believe ObiWan was a bad mentor.I feel sad about all this feeling bad for Padme most and also for Anakin coz I truly believed that they loved eachother and were like anyother couple of the world.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Maybe Anakin should have lost that fucking podrace and never left Tatooine with our without Qui Gonn there. Star Wars theory believes that his life could have been better if he was neither Jedi or Sith at all

[@zeropingpot]

This channel is so underrated

[@jucklowe]

If this terrible, hipster, needy video is anything to go by,,, then no, it isn't.

[@dgm_productions94]

@@jucklowe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. this is not as bad as you say.

[@Maaroussia]

I love how in American society any SLIGHT raising of voice or argument/disagreement can be labeled as "abuse".

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Maybe all of this could have been avoided had Anakin remained on Tatooine whether Padme was stranded there or not. One what if scenario suggested a woman named Zeena showed truest care for Ani compared to Padme

[@clockehvac1240]

I don't think it's necessarily abusive but it is TOXIC ASF.

[@rawdasalmataman7908]

Toxic seems like a strong word I thunk their realionship is in the unhealthy category

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

​@@rawdasalmataman7908 Unhealthy, toxic. A distinction without a difference

[@rawdasalmataman7908]

@@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722 No there is a difference Toxic meaning one of the two partners or both are abusive But unhealthy means for example one is overly obsessed with their partner but don't specifically abuse them

[@devinreis5811]

He needs psychiatric help.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

@@devinreis5811 Luke should have had also some therapy after ROTJ because that could have been imo the only way to prevent the sequels at all costs

[@momofullofstars]

While I do see how abusive Anakin was on that Clovis arc, I feel like I am on his side on that one because yeah he could trust Padmé with all his life but to me it was quite not-reassuring how much she wanted to do those missions with a man that clearly was not respecting her boundaries. He had rejected him several times and he kept insisting!!! I'd be mad as hell too to see my special someone insist on going with someone who has romantic intentions with no boundaries

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

At least Gambit had some control over himself and never became a hypocrite as far as his relationship with Rogue goes. Both the Southern Belle mutant and the Cajun mutant would call him out on his attempt at murdering Padme by accident for that one action

[@dgm_productions94]

wow, this is a good, deep, video Cuenin

[@kubilayatmaca1995]

A very good and high quality video. As always. We will watch your career great interest.

[@XxstrawmanxX]

Also ankin has been abused his whole life and he was with a seasoned woman when he himself didnt know how to develop his feeling while she knows how to handle those feelings

[@jay01342]

Was Anakin intentionally abusive and did he still love Padme?

[@CueninsCove]

No the whole idea is that it was not intentional on his part, it just ended up being his natural reaction in most situations, and those reactions got reinforced.

[@Maaroussia]

Are we sure Anakin actually heard Padme saying "No", when Clovis tried to kiss her?

[@equestrianfeminist9097]

Yes. Either way she was pulling away and her body language and facial expressions made it clear to anyone that she did not want to kiss him and Clovis was violating her lack of consent.

[@devinreis5811]

Trust me, I get it that it isn't acceptable to tolerate anybody being a pig to your wife. I get it. But if you're gonna kick their ass, take it outside, Court Cam-style. Or just let out your inner Regina George, secretly.

[@quinten2529]

What a beautiful looking video!

[@albertortega7160]

See! Know the Power of the Dark Side! Thanks, Palpatine!

[@07Janina07]

I don't think they had an abusive relationship. I say Anakin has a right to ask Padme not to interact with men he does not like, just like she would be upset if he had to close to some other woman. This relationship ends badly because Anakin has, what I argue, is a psychotic break in Revenge of the Sith and chokes her. This single moment is NOT representative of their relationship as a whole.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Maybe all of this could have been avoided had Anakin remained on Tatooine whether Padme was stranded there or not. One what if scenario suggested a woman named Zeena showed truest care for Ani compared to Padme

[@devinreis5811]

Their relationship was also nonstop drama, on the levels of a REALLY good Japanese or Korean soap opera.

[@LapLizard]

Relationships don't fit into 3 boxes

[@basketballgirl723]

You kids are so funny. An abusive relationship is a lot more complex than what you see on tv or read online. You have to be in one to truly understand and I was for 28 years. Now I am only 28 and was abused by my mother from birth. So I can relate to Anakin being a slave and being traumatized so young. I was a slave because I was too young to escape. Anyway I can tell you right now that Anakin is NOT abusive. Like Anakin, I also have complex-PTSD. I’ve lost everything and anyone I’ve ever loved and cared about thanks to the abuse so I have abandonment issues like Anakin. But thankfully, I am young enough to start over. Now back to Anakin. Is he overprotective? Yes. Is he a tad possessive? Yes but who isn’t?. When he force choked her, THAT’S when it became abusive. Unless you count that as foreplay. But luckily the abuse didn’t continue because they were separated after that.

[@sarahluise3153]

Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?

[@basketballgirl723]

@@sarahluise3153 Who the fuck is Jesse?! I am simply explaining how similar my childhood was to anakins and that’s why I can tell you for sure he doesn’t have BPD because he wasn’t born with the dark side he acquired through trauma

[@rei_8]

@@basketballgirl723 calm down, she just made a joke

[@relaxhedx7064]

@@rei_8 lame joke

[@danielpersson3268]

Overprotective + possessive + controlling + jelousy all these adds into abuse. I've studied this in college aswell as having been in those situations. A bad childhood wouldnt excuse that.

[@coolkid-wk3kh]

Hmm, I agree with some of this video but I have a problem with the "Failures of the Jedi" section. Don't get me wrong, the Jedi Order did mess up with various aspects of Anakin's apprenticeship, although in The Phantom Menace, you say the High Council is telling Anakin to "suppress his emotions" which is blatantly incorrect. During the Council scene, Anakin is decidedly not talking about his feelings. HE is the one suppressing his fear based on missing his mother, and as a slave boy at nine years old, I don't blame him. Yoda asks him if he's afraid, to which Anakin replies, "No sir," Yoda then says, "See through you, we can," which is daunting for a little boy, yes. But the main purpose of Yoda asking Anakin if he's scared is to see if Anakin will accept his negative emotions, and in turn, let them go. The Jedi Order is not about suppressing negative emotions (ie, fear, anger, hate), it is about acknowledging them and then letting them go. 'Mindfulness' is a term we hear used multiple times, mainly coming from Obi-Wan. Such as, "Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin, they betray you," mindfulness is essentially the exact opposite of suppressing emotions. If Anakin was suppressing, it was likely from his past as a slave, not as a Jedi. Now for him asking Yoda about his dreams. Yes, Yoda does give him generic advice, but you say it yourself, Anakin gives him essentially no information to work off of. But Yoda is not telling Anakin to suppress (I don't even understand where you got that from), he is telling Anakin to let go of what he fears to lose, that has nothing to do with suppressing, man. You also say that opening up to Obi-Wan would cause more problems then benefits. You say that being kicked out of the Order is a punishment, and yes, it is, Anakin broke critical rules that directly led to him falling to the Dark Side. But you know what, Anakin could've easily LEFT. The Jedi highly value people who leave, for instance, Dooku before the war started, and if you say he had a connection to the 501st, I'm positive the GAR would've let him be an Admiral or at least hold a military position. Anyway, yeah. The Jedi Order doesn't tell anyone to suppress their emotions, they tell people to be mindful, an acronym for suppressing, really.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

What would happen if Ani was instead trained by Saiyans?? Just curious

[@ageoftarot6881]

Anakin is pyschic and i'm surprised the jedi didn't understand that....dreams as promontions are generally unable to be changed......padme had lots of red flags with anakin and just ignored them....he goes around and kills people...he's clingy, he lies, and he murders people.......ummmm then he strangled padme and went on to murder more people and she died.........it's sorta a mess from day one. i think it was the fear of death in the clone wars that make her weaken her position.

[@Lauren_567]

Yea I really side eye padme tbh. She really ignores blatant red flags and for what? Anakin literally killed children and she thought it would be a good idea to have a child with that man??

[@Matthew-Anthony]

He loved Padme. He was not abusive until he started Force choking her.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Maybe all of this could have been avoided had Anakin remained on Tatooine whether Padme was stranded there or not. One what if scenario suggested a woman named Zeena showed truest care for Ani compared to Padme. Meaning Padme deserved someone better much like Ani deserved someone better. Gosh I really want Ani to have a truly happily ever after. DO IT DISNEY!!!! CRAFT THAT WHAT IF SERIES NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@spinmeister1245]

this changes everything

[@397llederson6]

Well TCW is inconsistent with Anakin's character like 90% so you can't say that is actually accurate to Anakin's character because no one in the show actually gets him right most of the time. More than once Anakin in the books and comics showed he was more respectful towards Padme and though jealous he was not controlling until Mustafar infact Anakin was the submissive of the two while Padme was the one calling the shots infact one of Anakin's main attributes that I hate people don't understand is that unless he is using the dark side most of the time Anakin will never be the one controlling people or calling the shots he does not show authority against anyone if I remember correctly that is why he sticks with Palpatine after Revenge of the sith because if he cares about you will. He is the kind of person that if you are his friend and you order him to do something he will do it and if you two argue he will submit first. So in canon yes it is abusive but if you want a take where TCW is not involved then no he is not until Mustafar hell I am pretty sure they mention behind the scenes in the movies that dark side changes you drastically so not only does it make no sense Anakin to be like that it also contradicts the point of the dark side that is something I will personally say is one of the worst things about TCW it weakens a lot of the Prequels and hurts what they were trying to convey.

[@rayvonvelez3129]

That's why Imo I think when anakin asked padme to join him on mustafar, he wanted her to be the leader of the Galaxy while he enforces her laws.

[@joseluis5055]

This video is criminally underrated

[@franciscovazquezjr4550]

This video is very interesting. Good quality too.

[@zeropingpot]

I agree

[@CueninsCove]

Thank you!

[@f_xh356]

Y’all are doing to much. They literally weren’t abusive at all until that scene in mustafar, like what are y’all on??

[@Pero-zl4jp]

There is a fan theory that Anakin mind tricked Padme in episode 2... but really that can’t be correct because Padme is not weak minded...

[@CueninsCove]

Hahahaha YES

[@Pero-zl4jp]

Cuenin's Cove imagine learning your mom only loved your Dad because of a mind trick... isn’t that a lovely relationship lmao Star Wars fans are wild with what they make up to make the prequels good

[@jay01342]

Also mind tricks are not Anakin’s strength

[@leylanagiyeva9061]

@@Pero-zl4jp how that can make it good??that's actually bad

[@TranscendentLion]

I quite like the theory, and I don't think Padme's strength of mind necessarily works against it - she could probably resist the obvious mind tricks, but she and Anakin spent a lot of time together, so it's quite possible that he was gradually influencing her over a long period of time (especially as he hadn't stopped thinking about her for ten years). Remember that many people who experience abuse, indoctrination or other forms of control are intelligent, strong-minded people who become warped - the same principle may apply here.

[@devinreis5811]

Woman's perspective here. I'd also say that he's probably a gold digger that takes advantage of how sweet his spouse is. She's wealthy, powerful and has a ton of influence. He was also seeing dollar signs way back when.

[@Steve_P_B]

Is it inappropriate that when she met him, she was Queen of Naboo and he was a slave child?

[@devinreis5811]

She basically saved him from a living hell and he feels indebted to her in some way. But I do understand why people consider it grooming because she earned his trust.

[@Steve_P_B]

@@devinreis5811 no she didn't, that was Qui Gon and the Jedi order. She had nothing to do with him in the time between when he was a little kid and a horny teenager

[@devinreis5811]

​@@Steve_P_BBut I see why people think it's creepy. Like, really creepy. Really creepy, as in she would be incarcerated in two countries.

[@amiepecaut6707]

Does this mean I shouldn’t like anakin or want him to be with padme. Is anakin a bad person?

[@devinreis5811]

I thought he was the subject of a Kanye West song right away. Use for Duck Tape aside...

[@Moltak04]

Yes

[@n1ghtm4reK1ngGr1mm]

Make the Clone Wars non-canon so I can have my Anakin and Padmé fantasies.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Cosnider your fantasies even more invalid because of a what if scenario that has Anakin never leaving Tatooine. The nexus event: no one was stranded on Tatooine because of the Naboo Blockade

[@AdamDaniel-pn4iw]

Yes. Didn’t watch the video. But yes.

[@LungsOutJem]

There is NO way for Anakin and Padme to have a healthy relationship, because it started with a "no" that he refused to hear. She wasn't interested in him until he wormed his way into a position of power over her as her protector, which he then used to Stockholm her. That's emotional abuse, from day 1.

[@CueninsCove]

True! Early cinema is littered with scenes like this. When a woman says "no", the movie tells us "that just means she wants it." Which is scary dangerous. Movies like Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Blade Runner all have this, and it boggles my mind. The movies are so much fun, if not perfect without this. It's just strange that putting these moments in movies and framing it as okay was ever acceptable. Pop Culture Detective did an excellent video about this. I recommend you check it out if you like: kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYjSgWuMpcejj6s

[@LungsOutJem]

@@CueninsCove I certainly will. Thanks.

[@basketballgirl723]

FOR FUCKS SAKE. YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. I WAS EMOTIONALLY ABUSED FOR 26 YEARS BY MY MOTHER WHO GASLIGHTED THE SHIT OUT OF ME SCREAMING AND CRITICIZING ME AND THEN TELLING ME IT NEVER HAPPENED THAT IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD. Anakin never did any of these things. When you kids are actually IN an abusive relationship then you will be a little less ignorant. There is a HUGE difference between overprotective and possessive.

[@basketballgirl723]

@@CueninsCove when Padme said no Anakin stopped and apologized for kissing her! He never moved forward with anything unless she allowed it. He said that he would do anything that she asked

[@leylanagiyeva9061]

As I remember it she said "no"and he stopped and apologized,she was interested in him from day 1,if you didn't catch it in the movie(which is obvious from the way she looks at him) then read a novelization for AOTC.

[@christinatran7093]

Hello. This relationship is unhealthy at the end. Padme had chosen the right man though. I want everyone to say nothing about their relationship. Just do the right thing. They loved each other to the end. Although, the smartest thing she should have done was in the third movie, don’t return and come back to him. Their relationship is abusive because he is too young to be a good guy and a bad guy. He is not nice to everyone he loved. Only to evil. She made the right choices. I wished she should’ve lived and take care of her children without him because she don’t need him right now because of their abusive love. Thank you. Goodbye.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Nah. I'd rather watch a what if film called Anaking isn't discovered on Tatooine. Zeena is her truester love and she showed no signs of hypocrisy and bigotry

[@Maxi_Jano]

Thats what makes it great

[@user-yx2sx7nl1m]

You sounded so smart until you started talking about the jedi telling them not to have feelings. That was NEVER said! 🙄

[@basketballgirl723]

Yes it was. Several times! It’s even in their code!

[@CRYSTAL_CUSTOMS]

A line is the jedi code is literally "There is no emotion there is peace"

[@user-yx2sx7nl1m]

@@basketballgirl723 that’s a meditation mantra you morons! NOT their code!

[@user-yx2sx7nl1m]

@@CRYSTAL_CUSTOMS they POINT BLANK T E L L YOU “it’s not that we aren’t allowed to feel these things” -clone wars You’re allowed to feel, you’re just supposed to control your emotions. It’s like how you’re allowed to be angry, but you’re not allowed to lash out, hit someone and punch a wall.

[@CRYSTAL_CUSTOMS]

@@user-yx2sx7nl1m search up the jedi code that is literally the first line in it, also obi wan says "its not that we aren't allowed to have these feelings its natural" however many jedi such as Yoda, mace windu, luminara unduli, ki adi mundi practiced emotion detachment and taught it as such, ki adi mundi had many wives due to his speices low Male birthrate but he was not attached to any of the wives or children because it's not the jedi way(that's how he viewed the code) so you should be able to feel but alot of high ranking jedi as mentioned above. Viewed as not being able to have feelings

[@Moltak04]

0:16 it me and you Alex

[@CueninsCove]

Haha yup!!

[@SmellyUnfortunate007]

@@CueninsCove rip

[@TWHueyGuitar]

Everyone seems to forget, that Padme "groomed" Anakin from an earlier age. This, plus his early life suffering as a slave, make it so that Anakin is mostly lashing out and projecting his anger onto those around him.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

Post AOTC it no longer feels like grooming lol

[@TranscendentLion]

Did she groom him? She showed him compassion when he was a child, he clearly developed a crush on her, and then they didn't have any contact for ten years. It was only when they were adults that feelings came into the equation.

[@nestorsifuentesaguirre2722]

@@TranscendentLion Maybe all of this could have been avoided had Anakin remained on Tatooine whether Padme was stranded there or not. One what if scenario suggested a woman named Zeena showed truest care for Ani compared to Padme. Not to mention Zeena never showed interest in grooming or lying to him. Remember kids: LIARS are not allowed in relationships lol

[@devinreis5811]

I totally get it. She earned his trust at a young age and he feels indebted to her.

[@AmyASpaceOdyssey]

The reason this bothers me is that other than his relationship with Padmé, Anakin in The Clone Wars is portrayed as a hero with flaws, but overall a good person. And then in Return of the Jedi, the movie clearly believes that Anakin was a good person before he became Darth Vader, as Luke proves at the end. I personally really love and admire Clone Wars Anakin and think the story of his character in Jedi is really well done, but it feels like I can’t view him like that if he was an abuser. And it really depresses me. Is there any help I can get for this please?

[@CueninsCove]

Yes I am glad you brought this up, this is very important to me! It is important to note that just because Anakin was abusive in some scenarios, that does not mean that he is no longer a good person. Throughout the show Anakin's intentions are ALWAYS good. My point in this video was to demonstrate that his abusive behavior comes from good intentions, but come off as controlling and abusive because he was never taught how to handle these emotions the right way. And this happens all the time in real world relationships! People often look to their parents for how a relationship "should be", and we don't really realize that means the good and the bad. And in Anakin's case, he never had a father, and his mother was a slave, so he is used to only having a female figure in his life that is helpless. This is something that attracts him to Padme, a female figure who is NOT helpless. (we see this in Episode II when they tease each other about "aggressive negotiations") But Anakin is so used to feeling helpless and losing control, that when he does lose control he lets his emotions guide him, and he forces control over the situation. Anakin is not used to having power, so when he gets that power he very easily uses it willy nilly to get his way, because he is tired of being that helpless slave from Tatooine. He sets expectations for himself that are VERY HIGH, he wants to be able to save his mother, and save Padme from death, which is a level of control that people don't usually have. But thanks to the force, he is told that there are ways he can control these things, which continues him down the path of believing he can bend the world around him to his will to give him what he wants. He says this to Padme in Episode III on Mustafar: "Love can't save you Padme, only my new powers can do that...Together we can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be!" This is his final admission to Padme that he sees himself as more powerful than their love, and that he should be trusted to save her, rather then both of them working together in their relationship. TLDR: Anakin is a good person! People can have GOOD intentions but still have abusive/unhealthy qualities because that is what they have subconsciously learned is acceptable all their life, especially in their childhood. Anakin is a good guy, he is just plagued with unreasonable expectations from the Jedi, and from himself, and that causes him to act out in ways that are unhealthy.

[@AmyASpaceOdyssey]

@@CueninsCove Thank you!

[@user-jc9ft1mu4s]

am I the only one who felt bad for Clovis in the end ? (

[@xavierlauzac5922]

No, but I don’t sympathize with him.

[@CueninsCove]

I definitely felt bad for him. He wanted to make up for his previous losses so badly, but Dooku only saw him as a means to achieve what his master wanted. So sad.

[@user-jc9ft1mu4s]

@@CueninsCove exactly ! so bad that it’s such an “under-appreciated” character

[@devinreis5811]

I get it, some dude being a pig to your wife is unacceptable. But don't turn it into a male version of Mean Girls, mixed with RHWONJ, and humiliate your partner.

[@davydiver]

It was a long long time ago, thats how relationships were conducted... 😉

[@jagjigosen9691]

obviously it's abusive he kills padme and then kills a bunch of kids.

[@jucklowe]

That is the most astonishingly boring and pointless thing I've seen all day,,,, and I was just on a NASCAR forum. You need a hobby mate,,,, preferably something that keeps you indoors,,, away from decent folk. Macrame maybe?

[@xavierlauzac5922]

There’s nothing wrong with videos like these.

[@Breezyz]

Wtf is wrong with you

[@TisDansk]

Username checks out

[@sayedmohidulislam8102]

i thing we all know who is pointless here.

[@skylarblue7517]

i just had a crush on her so i liked them together lol

[@Virtualfantasy1999]

Yes